 I figured it out, everybody. I was sitting here and I finally got a moment of clarity and I figured out why everybody hates Chris. As of everybody, this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. What I like to do is I typically pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So real quick, you are watching this. This was a scheduled post because I'm actually gone today. I'm doing stuff. So my buddies from the band RKVC who is featured right here, I took this picture with them at Vid Summit back in October and they just hit me up. They're like, yo, you live in Vegas, right? I'm like, yeah, I do. And there's a convention going on. It's called Affiliate Summit. So them and a bunch of other creators are in town. So I'm going to be there Monday and Tuesday. And more exciting news, my buddy Charlie from the channel, Authentic Mental Health. He's going to be there with me. So if you're not following me on social media, go follow me on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul. I'll be taking pictures, doing Instagram stories, tweeting out and stuff. It's going to be awesome. I'm super grateful that they're letting me tag along and go to this cool event and hang out with creators. Very, very fun. So yeah, anyways, this video is going to be about this guy right here. Yeah, I like to make videos like this every once in a while because I want you guys to kind of get inside my head and learn about things that I do to improve my mental health. And a lot of it is through just acknowledging what thoughts are going through my head. And something I'm trying to teach you guys about mindfulness or journaling or whatever it is, is that it gives you clarity. So many of us were struggling with things and we don't even realize it. So something that my beautiful girlfriend points out to me every now and then is that I focus on negative comments. I focus on them a lot. Like when I tweet out like negative comments that I reply to or whatever, like sometimes I just sit here reading them to her and I'm laughing or whatever. And she's like, why don't you read some of the positive comments and like it's kind of a struggle for me. And I finally figured it out. I finally figured it out. So I want to share that with you because some of you might struggle with the same thing that I do. So first let's talk about a problem that I struggle with. You probably struggle with a lot of YouTuber struggle with a lot of humans in general struggle with. And this is called negative bias. Okay. Negative bias for those of you who don't know. It's the way our brain develops and it's for a very important reason. So when you look at evolutionary psychology, our brains have to focus on negative more than positive because back in the day, way back in the day, it helped keep us alive. So for example, if you heard like a rustling sound in a bush and then a lion jumped out and you like survive, your brain is going to associate that sound of a rustling in the bush with danger. So that's really important because acknowledging that sound with danger is going to keep you alive. So that is actually going to develop a stronger neural pathway in your brain than a positive experience. Because positive experiences, they feel good, they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but they're not necessarily there to keep you alive. So our brains, even though we've evolved, you know, all this time, our brains still are more prone to the negative because our brains are still trying to keep us safe. Our brains are pretty cool like that. But in 2019, what that means is we focus more on negative comments, we focus more on negative feedbacks. So like, for example, they say that like, you know, one criticism can take away like 10, 20 compliments. And that's true because our brains are designed to look at those more. So when you look at YouTubers and things like that, like one of the things I was talking about was like Amelia Fartt and some other YouTube creators I've made videos on, like they're like me where they're missing out on a lot of positive comments because they focus on the negative. There's something that a lot of us need to start working on. This is also a big issue for anybody who struggles with imposter syndrome. Like something that I have to do is I have to force myself to focus on the positive comments or I have somebody like Tristan who is here with me and she's like, yo, why don't you check out some positive comments. But there's there's some more clarity that I got on this and I realized why. So now there's going to switch into a little bit of a story time on why I focus on the negative. And there's some different periods in my life where I noticed this. So when I got sober back in 2012, I remember being so nervous about celebrating a year sober, which you shouldn't worry about like worry about getting a month first because where I got sober in Fresno, California, like when you celebrated a year, basically what happened was in the 12 set meeting, you go up in front, you would share a little bit of your story. Then you would call on people in the audience and all they did was say nice things about you. And I hated it. I absolutely hated the thought of having a bunch of people compliment me. And one of the issues that a lot of us struggle with is that if we don't love ourselves or like ourselves, or if those are still issues that we're working on, we don't like compliments. We don't. All right. So by the way, if you can relate to that, let me know down in the comments below because I might need to make some more videos about it or send some emails about how I've kind of overcome that. But like I hated compliments. They made me feel uncomfortable. But one of the other things was I was an extremely judgmental person, very judgmental. And like I'm still judgmental to this day, but I don't, I try not to unfairly judge people. But the way my brain worked was like anybody who celebrated a success or positive feedback, like to me, those people were gloating, right? Like I would look at them and I'm like, oh, oh, cool guy over there. Oh, wow. People like you. You're so cool. And I would look down on them for celebrating their accomplishments, right? And this clarity that I got is that this still sticks with me to this day. So I realized that I'm more likely to post negative comments about myself rather than your positive comments. I'm more likely to post negative comments on Twitter or on Instagram because I have this fear that if I post the positive things, like, you know, people saying how much I've helped them or people saying this or that, like I feel, my brain tells me like I feel like I'm gloating, right? And one of my biggest fears is my ego going out of control, right? If you look in the comments, I already have a bunch of strangers who don't know me claiming my ego is huge. But for real, like I try to keep my ego in check every single day because my ego can be my worst enemy. I have an old video if any of you want to go look it up and it's about how I ruined my eSports career because of my addiction. And I used to be one of the world's top writers and travel all over the world for eSports, a little game called Counter-Strike if you've heard of it. And I destroyed it partially because of my addiction but partially because of my ego. So something I do on a daily basis is try to keep my ego in check. Like a lot of you, like when you come to me and tell me like how much I've helped or whatever like that, like I try to reply and let you know like you're the one who did the work. Like don't give me credit. I'm just a dude with a camera and a mic and an internet connection. Like that's all I am. Like you're the one doing the work. Because if I start taking credit for your successes, that's when I start becoming this like holier-than-thou figure, at least in my own mind, right? And that will destroy me. That will destroy my YouTube career. That will destroy my relationship with Tristan. That will destroy my relationship with my son. That will destroy my relationship with all of you, with my friends, with family and all of that. So I'm trying to humble myself on a daily basis. But something that I do need to work on is finding that balance, right? But I think, you know, I made that video about Gabby Hanna clapping back at somebody. Like I think like one of the reasons I also like look at those and laugh about them and stuff like that, maybe they're still a part of me in the back of my head that feels like that person. Feels like maybe they're right. Feels like I'm not that great. Or I don't know. I don't know. See I'm going through my process right now with all of you. But also like I need crap talkers. I need people to trash talk me and kick me down a notch. That's something that I need. That's something that a lot of us need. Like when I look at other YouTubers or even celebrities who like get to this like, you know, massive ego state, I'm like, you don't have enough people in your realm like taking you down a notch. You know what I'm saying? So all of my haters out there, I thank you. I appreciate that you come at me sideways and tell me that I'm an idiot and I don't know anything and I don't have any credentials. One fun comment I've been getting a lot lately is that just because my mommy is a psychologist doesn't mean that I know what I'm talking about. I'm like, thank you for reminding me about that. But like I do things on a regular basis to try to keep my ego in check. And yeah, I don't know what the solution for that is, but it's something that I'm still working on. Something that I try to teach everybody is something that I work on myself is everything's about balance. Right? When it comes to mental health, everything is about balance. Am I doing this in excess? Am I not doing enough of it? You know what I'm saying? So like sometimes I try to post the positive. Sometimes I, you know, like, especially on Twitter. I often, like if you're not following me on Twitter, just so you know, I retweet the hell out of everybody. Like if somebody like thanks me or shows some gratitude, I retweet them, right? I do that, but there's still a small part of my brain that's like, Chris, don't retweet that. People are going to think you're bragging, thinking that you helped everybody and all that, you know? But I need to do better at that. But just so you know, I do read 90% of the comments. So if you are saying kind, awesome things, I see those just the same. It's just that I don't publicly put them out there as much. But I do appreciate that. I do. It's just, I still feel uncomfortable getting compliments. You know what I mean? And I don't know if any of you can relate to that. I hope you enjoyed this video and I hope I'm not the only one who thinks like that. But anyways, again, a huge thank you to RKVC as well as my buddy Charlie who's coming with me to Affiliate Summit. Check out their channels. They're going to be linked down in the description and down in the comment section. And I will talk to you all soon. I'll be back. I might do a nighttime video or something. I don't know. But anyways, if you liked this video, give it a thumbs up. If you were confused, give it a thumbs up anyways. But a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all amazing. And if you're not subscribed yet, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. Alright, thanks so much for watching. I'll see you next time.