 I remember when I first started to wear my tuxedo. My breasts were not this big. They were smaller with, you know, time. I started to get more curvy. My old shirts didn't work. I had to change my wardrobe. And I was just really uncomfortable. And also, like, my friends would comment on them. But they would always give me compliments, like, you have the best boobies. Ugh, if I get a boob job, I'm taking pictures of your boobs. And you would think, like, I should be like, yes, ooh. But I was very uncomfortable with the change that was happening. Like, it took me years to get comfortable with my boobs. It's probably why I'm like, ooh, breathe them, you know. I can only imagine the horror stories that happened to my ancestors, but I was always tall. Do not do anything that will make men be attracted to you. It took me a long time to realize it was not my responsibility to adjust my freedom in order to make you comfortable, in order to make you not try and rape or molest me. I am having an earth experience where I'm expressing myself, I'm trying to honor my body, honor my fullness. I'm not asking for your attention. I should not be made to feel bad or be shamed because you cannot control your own urges. What's up, y'all? So this Monday, Auntie Fest, AKA Essence Fest, came to an end and this year it featured the likes of Janelle Monae, Meg Dostallion, I think Erika Badu and some other people. And recently on social media, there's been a lot of talk about IndieIre's comment about the event. According to IndieIre, the context and the over sexualization of the female performers was in poor taste. You know, if you guys aren't familiar with IndieIre, you know, she's famous for songs like I'm Not the Average Girl on Your Video. My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes. The truth, he is the truth, he is so real. She was the airy, pun intended, Afrocentric artist back in the day. So obviously this new push for overly and overtly sexual images of black women is gonna rub her the wrong way. And I think she is justified in her critique. A lot of people are saying that, you know, she needs to mind her own business and this isn't supporting black women, but kind of like we've discussed before, if women can't critique women, then what are we fighting for? All right, especially as black people, if there are no checks and balances, if we cannot define what is good and what is bad for ourselves, and if we cannot police each other, then what is all this for? Are we just gonna allow the external world to police us? Or are we gonna come up with systems and processes and boundaries that are sustainable and that work and that lead to a better set of future people, right? Because right now I think we're living in a very individualistic age of pleasure. You guys know Janelle Monnet started off as a suit wearing very eclectic-seeming artist and she was the opposite of the female image that we saw a lot of when she came on the scene. Apparently she's only 37 years old. For whatever reason, I thought she was older, but she's relatively young. But you know, with her new album, we've been seeing her body more than we used to. And according to the clip I played, that's because she is now becoming comfortable with her body. Apparently it wasn't necessarily a statement of conservatism, but really she just didn't wanna show her body and now she does. And not only that, a lot of her visuals, even in the music video she's been putting out are pretty sexual. You know, Janelle Monnet is apparently part of the LGBTQ community and a lot of her imagery is heavy on that and she's been showing her boobs, she's been showing her body. As a guy, I like it. And most men enjoy it visually. However, you know, as a man, I do have concerns. I do have concerns about how we continue to set and maintain this precedent of overt black female sexuality. And I've talked about the links and the connections to our oppression and how we've, or at least we're attempting to gain ownership of our own exploitation, right? It's like, I no longer need the pimp, I'm a pimp myself. And I realize that she is thinking about it from the perspective of female empowerment, from the perspective of female autonomy. However, I think the consequences are larger than her. And I feel the same about every other female artist who has to prostitute themselves visually to gain and maintain an audience. So I recently came across that clip of Flavor Flav playing the piano beautifully. And I had no idea that brother could play the piano. And it had me thinking and wondering, what if his entire persona, his entire character is a caricature? Because unfortunately today that's what sells. Being a goofball, being a spectacle, being a jester is what sells. And it breaks my heart that for so many kids growing up, they must in some way, shape or form, resign themselves to creating a character and playing that character as best that they can to make it. Because the reality is, we don't know Flavor Flav for playing piano. We know Flavor Flav for being Flavor Flav. And I wonder how our community would be different if we started to incentivize different types of people, different types of entertainment, as opposed to allowing ourselves to remain public spectacles. And it's been exacerbated by social media because now social media rewards you with likes and clicks. And now you can monetize it through YouTube or go out back Instagram or only fans in the whole nine. And social media has us all dancing. In Genome Monet's defense, as a content creator, you know, if you do this long enough, you'll start to see patterns. And one of the patterns is, people do not care about wholesome content. People will congratulate you from afar. Some people actually care, but the masses of people don't actually care. And unfortunately, this particular stunt or this series of stunts that she has been pulling are going to make her more famous and more money than she's probably ever made before. And I think that is an indictment on us. If we want to ask for our artists and our creators to be more mindful of and respectful with their voice and their influence, but we continue in mass to support artists that do the complete opposite, the incentive goes away. Because at the end of the day, if you are an artist and you have bills to pay, if you're an artist and your dream is to have your name in lights, you are gonna prioritize the quickest route to that end. I imagine for female artists, especially in 2023, it means you got to show skin. Now, a lot of us as men, we tend to talk from two sides of our neck sometimes, because on the internet, we'll bash it, but behind closed doors, these are the behaviors that we're incentivizing. For instance, I remember something that Fresh and Fit, which I'm not a fan of, they talked about how they'll have Instagram models or only fans models, on their podcast, and they'll lambast the girl for two, three hours. And in the comments, the people are talking about how she's this and she's that and she's ugly and she's a whore, but the next very day, her income with triple quadruple and her following with skyrocket. So again, as men, if we are claiming that we want to see more wholesome women, we want to see more respectful women, we want to see more feminine women, but we keep incentivizing with our lust and our attention, we keep incentivizing the polar opposite. Unfortunately, it's supply and demand. We are going to see more of that. And obviously, there are examples in the hemisphere, examples of people who shouldn't have a microphone to be speaking about femininity or definitely not have the support of men, but because she looks good, she has our ear. And in my opinion, and like I've been saying, this is what completely delegitimizes a lot of the complaints that we as men have of women. It's like we, on one side, talk shit about a certain archetype of woman, but that's the woman we want to sleep with and that's the woman we finance and that's the woman we support with views and that's the woman we support with attention and we wonder why we see more of that. And this is not just true for women. This is true for content in general. You want to see certain things change politically, but your money and your spending habits fund the opposition. So you don't really want it. And obviously the opposition isn't going to take you seriously because you're saying one thing but doing another and we have to, have to, have to be honest about that as men and also as women. I remember a while back, people were criticizing Meg Dostallion about only talking about raunchy sexual stuff but her least performing music is her wholesome music even on this channel. Some of you guys may or may not know but this isn't the style of content that I initially wanted to do. I still don't want to do it if I'm being completely honest but this is what performs. I would rather make films, set up cameras, set up microphones, lighting, sit with somebody who I admire intellectually and pick their brain. That's what I would rather do, create evergreen content. However, when I post something about a current event and a celebrity did this and oh my God, look at that. That's what moves the needle. That's what helps keep this channel sustainable. So again, we have to not just complain but we have to take action with our, with our money, with our attention, especially in 2023 because attention is currency. Attention and data is currency. It's the absolute new currency. So as we're looking at Janelle Monae show her boob on stage and we're wondering, what's wrong with her? No, she's an astute business woman. She might have even convinced herself that it's about liberation and all that but at the end of the day, the numbers aren't gonna lie. She's probably still trending. Her album sales are probably going up. Her music video views are going up. So black folks, black men, what do we really want? I will probably be half naked. It's really about being in control of your body as a woman and that's what it's always been about me and I think this year I'm a lot more experimental with music and image because I feel like that message has been, you got it, you got it. Y'all get that when I came in, I already told y'all, like y'all not about to tell me what to do, y'all not about to pimp me. So at the end of the day, it's always been about women staying in control of your bodies. When you ready to show your skin or your thigh, let that be you, not, I got to do this to sell records. I want my talent to speak before that. So. And just to let you niggas know, we don't need y'all. We won't y'all, but we don't need y'all. Now a lot of hot boys, a lot of hot boys but this is what a motherfucking hot girl is, jump in here. In the eye, we also mentioned, referred to Meg the Stallion during her critique of the Essence Fest and Meg's whole thing is built around the hot girl, dynamic, you know, the, we don't need no man, but we want you. And it's tragic to me, especially considering how the pathology of malehood is set up and how our entire purpose since the beginning of time has been centered around being needed. And it makes me wonder the damage that has been done and continues to be done as boys continue to hear the women in their lives and their mother's parrot that they are not needed. They are not necessary. And I wonder how that's created the new paradigm of men that we see. And I wonder if women are aware of the power of their tongue. I saw somebody say a man can destroy things around him with his actions, but a woman can destroy things around her with her words. So as a community, I wonder what it's done as our women continuously parrot that our men are inconsequential. Our men are not necessary. Our men are the scum of the earth. How does that make our community better? How does that make our future better? And what would happen if our women intentionally took it upon themselves to begin to say the opposite? You know, one of the things we say in Nigeria is fear women. And we usually say it jokingly based on like the things that women can do to hurt a man like cheat and paternity fraud and things like that. But we also believe that if you do a good woman wrong and she goes outside butt naked at midnight and swears for you like on some witch shit that it will happen. We believe that women have a spiritual ability that men don't have, particularly if it's a woman of virtue. And obviously in the context of white supremacy, whether in the West or whether on the continent, a lot of that has been bastardized. And instead of a lot of our women weaponizing their power to fight the oppressor, a lot of that power has been weaponized to break down the man. And that's absolutely not to say it's the woman's fault. That's absolutely not to say the woman is our enemy. But it's to say that we need y'all. We need y'all's help in fighting white supremacy. Even on YouTube, one of my big critiques is that in the Manisphere, some of the most supported creators are women. Even in a space of men who have grievances and pains caused by women, they are still yearning and seeking female involvement, female validation and female input. That shows the power of women. Anybody see the propaganda? Anybody see how all niggas ain't shit and all bitches ain't shit? You see how love, real love doesn't exist? You see how everybody is some kind of bitch? Do you see it? Do you see? Do you see? It's a boss bitch or a fly bitch or a rich bitch or a pretty bitch or... I don't like you bitches, none of you bitches. Fuck you. I happen to love my sisters or my sisters in the house tonight. So, IndieIre falls in the category of Joe Scott, Erica Badu, Lauren Hill and real ones know, but you know, for my young boys, y'all, hey, don't let these quote, unquote wholesome women fool you. Do not let these nerdy glasses wearing, you know, burning sage women fool you. They are amongst some of the freakiest women on the planet. They are undercover with theirs. And in a way, it's kind of what men are asking for, you know, lady in the streets, freaking the sheets. But it, you know, there is a conversation to be had about, you know, how fair is that as an expectation for your woman to be, you know, both those things, but also when we look at people like Jill Scott and her romantic track record, when you look at Erica Badu or, you know, even Lauren Hill and their track records, even though their public image is one of a wholesome woman, their private image is more consistent with the hot girls. If you know, you know. So I would only say to, you know, younger guys, just pay attention, don't get carried away with what it looked like, especially with women. Focus and try to deduct what it is. Because women are master manipulators and chameleons. And I'm not saying that in a negative way. It's just like the song, I'm Every Woman. Women are shapeshifters. That is one of their strengths. That's one of the things that allows them to be such an asset to us. But hell, have no fury like a woman scorned. That's also a thing. So they can weaponize it against you. So just don't get carried away with the Okie Doke. But as a community, I would like to see us go away from critique and start going towards action. And that means, you know, taking a second to audit what it is that you are actually supporting. Not the things that you think you're supporting, but what are you actually supporting? What kind of content are you consuming? Is it content of all the reason black women are this and the black community is doomed? Well, confirmation bias. I read about this part of our brain called the reticular activating system. And it's basically a brain filtration device. So it limits what we notice and what we don't, right? So it's the reason why let's say you just bought a Honda. The first day you drive in your Honda it's gonna seem like everybody else has that Honda, which is not the case. It's just that your brain is now focusing on Honda. So you're seeing Hondas. So only imagine how that works with people. If you're focusing on the negative, you will see the negative. If you're focusing on the positive, you'll see more of the positive. My goal is for us to be able to focus on everything and see how tiny drops of water make an ocean. See how our actions and our inactions and our attention and the places that we place our energy influences what we see on the micro and on the macro. If we wanna stop seeing these over-the-wall women slut themselves out publicly because we don't wanna see that with our daughters, with our sisters who are coming up, we've gotta starve those women out. We've gotta stop paying them with our attention. Whether sexual attention or literally just visual attention or just the consumption of watching them crash. Because it feeds the machine and it tells whether YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, you wanna see more of that. So we will show you more of that. And inevitably, because as a community, we're consuming more media than anybody else, we will begin to see more of that. Because before, art used to imitate reality. But now reality imitates art. If you wanna see more of this, please click that like button. It helps tremendously. And share this with somebody you think would gain value from the message and hit that subscribe button as well. Peace out y'all.