 I see you've managed to do a review without a cheap and lazy cosplay. I am Darklawn, ruler of Darklonia. Ask figures months, and I'd like to address something before we get started. All of the figures that I review this month, in my opinion, are quite ugly. But that's just my opinion. After all, as they say, ugly is in the eye of the beholder. So even though I think these figures are ugly, doesn't mean you have to agree. And even if you do agree that it's an ugly figure, doesn't mean you have to hate the figure. Even an ugly toy can be a loved toy. Take for example, this beanie baby. Due to a factory error, this bear was assembled completely upside down. The butt end is at the top. How did that get by quality control? But even this clearly flawed toy can still be loved. Oh, you love your bear? You love your bear, Mila? Oh, get your bear. Get your bear. Get your bear. Oh, there's your bear. So with that in mind, let's look at this week's ugly-ass figure. And this week I need to thank a few people. First I need to thank Jaren Torwald. He sent me this action figure and vehicle, along with a lot of his other childhood GI Joe toys. And then my dog ate his tank. Feel bad about that. Thank you, Jaren, for making this review possible. And thank you to Mastichinik for the title card art on this video. That guy produces amazing work, and I'm very grateful that he donates that work for us to enjoy. I also need to give a code name to another patron. This guy's name is Joseph C. Melly. Joseph, as in Joe. You know what the C stands for? Perhaps Cobra? I'm on to you, Joe. Your code name is Jobra. Thank you, Jobra, for joining the team. Now let's get to the figure we're reviewing this week, Darklawn. This character was pretty high up in the ranks of Iron Grenadiers. And in the comic book series, he even had some command responsibilities in Cobra. He's also one of the most nonsensical figures in the entire line. He also came with a vehicle, perhaps to give kids an extra incentive to buy a figure that was very peculiar looking. But you can't appreciate how nutso this figure is until you see it, so let's take a look at it. HCC788 presents Tiger Force Darth Vader. This is Darklawn and the Evader from 1989. This vehicle and figure set were first available in 1989 and were also available in 1990. They were discontinued for 1991. They were part of Wave 2 of the Iron Grenadiers. That was a faction that was led by Destro. The Iron Grenadiers were introduced in 1988. In 1988, the Iron Grenadiers lineup included Destro and his Dispoiler, the basic Iron Grenadier trooper, Voltar, Destro's general, the Demon Tank and Driver Ferret, and the AGP and Driver Nullifier. That's a pretty well-rounded lineup for a new faction in the G.I. Joe universe. In 1988, Iron Grenadier packaging included Battle Force 2000 branding. In 1987, Battle Force 2000 was a sub-team of G.I. Joe with experimental vehicles. Battle Force 2000 was first released in 1987 and carried over to 1988, but dwindled after that, only a couple releases after 1988. Based on the labeling, it seems like they were attempting to set up Battle Force 2000 as a rival to the Iron Grenadiers, but that never really came about in any of G.I. Joe media. This is not the entire Battle Force 2000 lineup, this is just a sample. I reviewed all of the 1987 Battle Force 2000 releases last year. The 1989 Iron Grenadiers lineup included the Annihilator, Targat, Darklawn and the Invader, and the Razorback and Wild Boar. They all looked very different from the 1988 set. 1989 Iron Grenadiers no longer included the Battle Force 2000 branding. If Battle Force 2000 was the rival to Iron Grenadiers, then it looks like Iron Grenadiers won. Darklawn was related to Destro, and by related I mean he was a family member of Destros. He was not a trooper, nor was he a general like Voltar. Darklawn ruled his own country, called Darklonia. Darklawn was more like a sub-faction within Iron Grenadiers, but Darklawn was never given his own troops to command, there weren't any Darklonian guard or anything like that. Destro version 2, the Iron Grenadiers version of Destro, was a deluxe figure, and he was packaged with a small vehicle, the Dispoiler. Deluxe figures often were packaged with small vehicles. Sometimes that vehicle related to the figure in some way, and other times the vehicle was just kind of random. Hasbro did this basically so they could upcharge the figure. The only way to get the figure would be to buy a vehicle with it, and that was obviously more expensive than a single carded figure. Destro version 2 was legitimately a deluxe figure. He was an important character, and if you follow GI Joe, you knew who Destro was, and you would want the second version of his figure. Darklawn however, was also packaged with a small vehicle, like a deluxe figure, but it's hard for me to argue that Darklawn is a deluxe figure. Normally I would look at the vehicle before I look at the vehicle driver, but Darklawn really is the star of the show here, so I'm going to look at Darklawn before I look at the Evader, and let's start by looking at his accessory. He came with this black rifle, but this does not look like a traditional firearm. It looks like it has a gas canister here below the buttstock, perhaps a CO2 canister. I think it sort of looks like a paintball gun. You've got some wiring and tubing here, you've got a scope, although the wiring kind of gets in the way of the scope, and it's a multi-barrel weapon, but it's really not clear exactly what this is supposed to shoot. In the G.I. Joe comic book series, this was used to fire tranquilizer darts at Road Pig. That's the only use that I'm aware of of this weapon, so is it a tranquilizer gun? I don't know, but it's definitely strange looking. That's it for accessories, so let's look at Darklawn's articulation. He had the articulation that was standard for G.I. Joe figures well before 1989, so he could turn ahead from left to right and look up and down. He could swing his arm up at the shoulder and swivel at the shoulder all the way around. He had a hinge at the elbow that allowed him to bend his arm at the elbow about 90 degrees. He has a swivel at the bicep so he can swivel his arm all the way around. The figure was held together with a rubber O-ring that looped around the inside. That allowed him to move at the torso a bit. He could move his legs apart about so far. He could bend his leg at the hip about 90 degrees and bend at the knee about 90 degrees. Let's take a look at the sculpted design and color of Darklawn starting with his head. Let the crazy begin! Right off the bat we have this nutso black mask. It's an unusual shape. It's very wide at the jaw. And on the jaw it has a couple, I don't know, nozzles or nipples or something. Is this a gas mask maybe? I'm really not sure. He has red eyes, which is pretty wild, and that black mask is over a green hood, which you can see if you turn him around. You see this green hood that covers his entire head and there's an unpainted strap that goes around the back of the head. My best guess for where the inspiration for this mask came from is a certain Star Wars villain. It's not a perfect likeness, but there are some elements. I'm just saying there are some elements. You probably think the crazy stops there, but oh no, look at his chest. On his chest he has a skin tied green shirt. You can see his muscles through the shirt. He has a black strap that goes over his right shoulder and then under his right arm. On that shirt he has a texture pattern and he also has some random black stripes. So what exactly are we looking at here? Is this supposed to be Tiger Stripe camouflage? If it is, it utterly fails at that. These stripes almost look like the black stripes we got on some Tiger Force figures, but Tiger Force figures followed a common motif and I'm not sure exactly why Dark Lawn would have these stripes. Let's move on to the arms and see if they get any more sane. On his upper right arm he has some black armor plate. On his left arm on the bicep he has a black stripe continuing that stripe motif from the chest that is the only black stripe on either arm. Then on his left forearm he has a black electronic device that covers the entire forearm. And then look at his gloves. He has a black glove on his right hand and a green glove on his left hand. Ok so far the upper half of the figure has been pretty random, but you never know the rest of the figure might be fine. Sometimes you do have the tail of two figures. The lower half of the figure is great. So maybe that'll be the case with Dark Lawn. Let's look at the lower half of the figure starting with the waist piece and oh my god what is that color? Is that hot pink or is it red? It's hard for me to tell. Whatever you call that color it's pretty loud. He has a black crotch cover. He has a black belt and he has a strap in the back here that goes down to some detail on his leg. Then you have more of those random black stripes as if this is some kind of camouflage pattern. You cannot wear this color and think you are going to be camouflaged. Alright let's look at the leg. Let's start with the right leg. The right leg has pockets. It has a pocket on the front of the thigh, on the side and on the back of the thigh. And each of these pockets has gold details. I'm not sure what they're supposed to be. Maybe they are bullets I don't know. You also have more of those black stripes and then on the left leg you have some armor plate similar to the armor plate on the upper right arm but not exactly the same. You have a strap that runs from the belt down to that armor section. I don't know why. You have more of those random black stripes and then you've got the boots. Look at the boots. First of all the boots are asymmetrical. You have one boot that goes halfway up the thigh and the other boot that stops at these pockets. Or maybe these pockets are over the boot I'm not sure but if that's their intention they did not make that clear at all. Those boots are brown and they have a ridge pattern on them. There are ridge strips that run down the front of the boots and then on the right boot around the right boot actually you have a cluster of gold grenades. That's right you have these gold grenades around the right boot and nowhere else because where else would you want them? You have an unpainted strap here in the back and honestly these kind of look like jingle bells. I mean look at them. They're clustered together. They are in a gold color. They sort of look like grenades but these could definitely pass as jingle bells. But this guy sure don't look like Santa. We are down to the last random detail on this figure and that is the knife on the left boot. It's sculpted on and painted green and it has a knuckle guard on it. It's a pretty vicious looking knife. These details are crazy. Everything on this figure is random. It looks like they took a bunch of other action figures and put them in a blender and then while blindfolded assembled Darklawn out of the parts. Nothing goes together. Nothing makes sense. The only element that ties the figure together is the tiger stripes and the tiger stripes don't make sense either. Random. In fact I don't think Darklawn is a good codename for him. I want to change his codename to Rando. No not Lando. Rando. We've had enough Star Wars in this video already. Let's take a look at Darklawn's file card and his file card is mercifully short. In fact it's very short. There's a big section down here that's blank. It looks like the writer only finished half of the assignment. His faction is the enemy. He's not a Cobra agent. There's a portrait of Darklawn here. His codename is Darklawn and he's the Evader Driver as if the Evader has any importance. This top paragraph says Darklawn is a distant cousin of the Destro clan and the last of a long line of privateers, mercenaries and investment bankers. From his cast iron castle, I don't think you can make a cast iron castle, in the Alps he dispatched his private armies to do battle for the highest bidder until Destro called upon him to lead his legions in his bid to take over Cobra. This bottom paragraph has a quote. It says, completely unhindered by ideology or ethics, Darklawn is motivated purely by greed. His telephone solicitors have been known to drum up business for his mercenary army by offering reasonable hourly rates and cash rebates. This file card reads like the file card for the basic iron grenadiers trooper. That's one thing iron grenadiers have in common. They are all motivated by greed and profit. The file card says Darklawn has a castle but it doesn't say where it is. In the comic book we find out it's in the country of Darklonia. Yes, Darklawn rules Darklonia. Where exactly is Darklonia? I know Darklonia is fictional, but even fictional countries have to have a location. Darklonia seems to be somewhere kind of central Europe. For those of us who are geographically challenged, there's a large part of Europe that's just kind of vague, lots of just little countries and it's easy to drop a fictional country in there. And if you're from central Europe and you actually live in one of these places that American literature likes to fictionalize because some of us couldn't find your country on a map, well, sorry. The file card leaves it at that, so let's leave it at that and look at the Evader. The Evader has a gold body with black details and accessories. The color is similar to Serpentor's Air Chariot from 1986, but that is the only similarity. Other than that they are completely different. Let's take a look at the parts and the features of the Evader starting here in front and over that gold body we have a black canopy and the front we have a sticker, it looks kind of like a pound sign. Then we have some slots that run up the center of the canopy and then we have the Destro logo in case there was any doubt about what faction this belonged to. That canopy is connected to the body at the front and it's hinged at the back, so if you pop it open, basically the whole top of the vehicle swings up and reveals the cockpit. Inside the cockpit we have a driver's seat and some instrument panels, no steering wheel or anything like that and we have a seat belt. These were fairly universal around 1988 and 1989. The seat belt connected to one side of the cockpit and there's a slot on the driver's seat and the other end is supposed to slot into there to hold the figure in. Also under that canopy is some engine detail, so that canopy also works like an engine cover. And that canopy really is the entire top half of the vehicle, the whole top half swings up to open. To place the figure in the cockpit just bend the figure's legs and put him in. I find that Darklawn does not fit very well with his big rifle gun, so I just leave the gun off of him when I want to put him in the evader. You can fasten the seat belt by pushing the seat belt into that slot on the seat. Then you can close up the canopy and he fits quite well in there. On each side of the canopy we have a couple guns and the blueprints call these Eliminator Canopy Mounted 9mm Removable Machine Guns. They do pivot up and down so they have that range of motion and with some effort you can remove them and use them as a weapon for the figure. So there is Darklawn holding the machine gun from the evader. What do you think? Does this look any less crazy than the gun he came with? I don't think so. Plus it has a hole right in the middle of it. On the top of the vehicle we have a rotating missile launcher with two black missiles and the blueprints call these Pursuer Roof Mounted Thermal Homing Stinger Type Missiles. Stinger refers to the FIM-92 Stinger Missile, a portable shoulder-fired surface-to-air missile which can be adapted to fire from vehicles. It doesn't look very much like this though. All of these are nice-looking missiles, they even have little stickers on the back fin. The Evader rolls on two wheels like a motorcycle but the wheels are pretty wide so it balances pretty well. There is a wheel up in the very front and one in the very back and not much detail on the underside. In the back we have these curved and riveted pieces that work as a fork for that back wheel. And we have some additional engine detail and hot rod pipes, not bad detailing really all over the vehicle. The Evader is a cool design. There are a few things to like about it. It's not the best vehicle in the world but it has some things going for it. But why does Darklawn have it? You would expect him to have a command vehicle of some kind, sort of like Destro's Dispoiler or Serpentor's Air Chariot. Taking a look at how Darklawn was used in GI Joe Media, he first appeared in issue number 88 and he was on the cover. That issue introduced Python Patrol. Darklawn was introduced as the ruler of the country, Darklonia, and it centered around the sale of surplus weapons. He and Destro sell Python Patrol weapons to the neighboring country of Volcacacacland. He appears in issue number 90 where his strange weapon is used as a tranquilizer gun on Road Pig. In that issue Destro restructures Cobra with himself at the top and Darklawn directly under him. So I guess he was officially part of Cobra at that time. He was in issues number 101 through 105 and in those issues he fought against GI Joe and the October Guard in the fictional country of Sierra Gordo. His final appearance in the vintage comic book series was in issue number 146 in that issue Destro and Cobra Commander in the country of Transcarpathia plan to invade Volcacacacland but Darklawnia is in the way. How do they deal with that? By launching a missile and blowing up Darklawn. It's the most unceremonious dispatch ever. As far as animated appearances Darklawn did not appear in the animated series, he was only animated for commercials. Looking at Darklawn overall, this is an ugly ass figure. No part of this figure seems to go with any other part of this figure. The only element that seems to run through the whole figure is the tiger stripes and I don't know why it's there. He has a Darth Vader hockey mask. He has a textured green shirt with armor plates at random spots. He has jingle bells on his boots. I'm trying to find something positive about this figure but what do you want me to say? I can however understand why some fans might like the character of Darklawn. After all, he is related to Destro, that's a very popular character. He is in Iron Grenadiers and that's a pretty cool subset. Darklawn does have a niche in the G.I. Joe universe so I could understand some kids picking up this figure for that reason. As for the Evader, it's okay on its own. It actually has some nice details and a few good features but as with no part of the figure going together, the figure and vehicle combination also don't really fit together. Since Darklawn has command responsibilities, you would expect him to have some kind of command vehicle. Something he could use to survey the battlefield. Something like for example Destro's Dispoiler. At one point in the comic book, Darklawn is in a demon tank and from there he commands the battle. That makes a whole lot more sense than having him in a fancy motorcycle. If any of you out there love Darklawn, I love you and I'm glad you can find something about this figure that appeals to you. For me though, when I look at it, it kind of makes me go cross-eyed. That was my review of Darklawn and the Evader, I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you to Jaren and MasterChinique for their help with this video. I'd also like to thank my patrons, their support makes these videos possible. If you'd like to support the channel in that way, I do have a Patreon and I have a Ko-fi account if you like the videos and would like to leave me a one-time tip. You should never feel obligated but the opportunity is out there if you'd like to take advantage of it. I'm also on social media, on Facebook and Twitter and I have a website HCC788.com. Next week we are rolling into the final review of Ugly Ass Figures Month and the review I have set up for next week is a bit of a surprise I've been cooking up for you. Please join me then and every week as we have fun with G.I. Joe. And remember, no matter how ugly it is, you can still love it and it's still G.I. Joe. I am Dark Lawn, ruler of Dark Lawnia.