 I deliver mail and I was out on my route delivering mail and the supervisors two of them whipped up in front of me and my dad's in bed was in bad shape he's on oxygen and I thought oh something happened to my dad and so they come running over to my car and I said is it my dad and they said they shook their head no and I said is it one of my kids and they went like that and I said is it my son my son was a senior at the University of Pittsburgh and a girl that lived on the second floor her ex-boyfriend set a fire and the smoke you know killed my son while he was upstairs sleeping this boy more or less was I don't know if he was talking her or what but you know jealous or whatever and you know set the fire and intended to kill her and you know Joey didn't make it you know we buried him on Monday I think it was Thursday was when the detective called me to tell me that it had been an orson and he wanted to let the family know before it hit the news while I was by myself when he told me and yeah I just can't imagine the trials would start and stuff and the first time I took my daughter was when the trial was actually going to start and ever since that day that she seen this Matthew I've had to sleep with her and that was back in July Chrissy and I was watching TV the other day and they said how one act stupid act can affect so many lives and she looked at me and she said we really know that mom don't we but you figure this boy was jealous or whatever about this girl living with this guy or I don't understand what he was thinking of but his stupid act has ruined lives of people he didn't even know existed we've never done anything to her I've never gotten a traffic ticket nothing and to be punished like this further and we'll be punished the rest of our lives because of someone we didn't even know if he would have been in an accident with a where he was drinking or if he would have it been a car accident where it was an accident or something but the know that someone deliberately while he was sleeping but where is the safest place you think your child is in bed sleeping he's the with this kid did is he has no idea how he has affected all of us I mean just the emptiness the sick feeling that you have inside you every single day not a day goes by that I don't do not shed a tear not one day had gone through a couple of years of problems my wife found a boyfriend and moved away to Cleveland and then my mother started getting sick so I came home to take care of her and we were together for about eight months and then she passed away and I had just got a job with a real estate company where I was going to do their maintenance for them and I was in an alley behind their property bringing a key back somebody followed me back to the property well these are all fun loving people you know and I thought it was mistake I thought it was a joke somebody pulled in behind me and got out and approached me with the fact that he thought I was somebody else he thought I was somebody that had stolen a stained glass window from his one of his properties and I just happen to be working across the street from one of his properties and I thought it was a joke I really did and so I I really didn't put up any resistance and then he he slid on a metal baseball bat and he started to attack me I was obviously the wrong person at the wrong place the wrong time but I backed up he took out my knee I went down he just started beating me like crazy I never even defended myself which is the the hard part because all my life I've defended my family my friends I've worked as a doorman at local restaurants and clubs and I always had confidence myself to take care of myself and my friends and my family and when he took me out like that it was it it changed my life I'm very angry and I mean from time to time I'll burst into these screaming fits in my own health you think I'm talking to myself I'm talking to myself I'm just mad it's tough when you can't physically do what you want to do I can't climb ladders I have no knee my muscles and tendons are crushed and that's going to take four or five years to maybe build up the strength in my knee that I could even climb a ladder I've been going through a lot of depression I sit on my couch and cry and I live like a spider I mean I keep my blinds closed I I'm scared to death the answer to phone or answer the door and that ain't right I'm six I'm almost six three I weighed 225 pounds and yet I'm scared to walk from my house to my car you know what aggravates me the most is I was just at the point where I was ready to rebuild my life I look to the future and I see things but it's I'm not impatient but I really want to get back to where I was my house was broken into while we were at work and I it was when I but I actually had called kept calling my house it's because my husband gets home before I do and I was going to be inviting him over to my parents for dinner and that's where I was at and he picks up the phone and immediately and says the house has been broken into you need to come home they kicked in my back door and they had taken our 36 inch TV that was in the living room they took our 25 inch TV that was in our bedroom they took just a lot of weird stuff that we kind of don't understand why they would take it but like towels out of our our closet they took like wash rags there just seemed like there were so many little things that just kept coming up missing every day that went on I'd find something else they took my camcorder which had my my youngest son's newborn video in it which that's probably the worst thing they could care less what's on that video they're not gonna watch it they probably just threw it away but that's that's my you know that with my baby my newborn baby on there that I'm never gonna get that back a detective like try to get fingerprints on on like the computer because they had messed with that and he couldn't we've never heard anything back I was just one of my things back you know I mean granted they came into my house and I don't think it would have been the greatest to get it all back you know or to find it I still would have been that I think that would have probably been traumatizing too is knowing that they had them and then they got them back you know it's like what have they done with them we ended up getting a security system but there's still times when like if I come home by myself and I have the kids and it's dark our garage is detached from the house and and it's like I just want to grab the kids and run and I make sure that my oldest son doesn't leave the garage until I'm I've got the baby out and I'm just I just almost want to run hurry up and lock the door run shut the door I mean I don't even set anything down until I've shut the door and locked it and I mean that's not a good feeling and I do that any time I'm by myself I'm always really scared you do you feel violated it's just like it's like they've been in your home they've been through your things and I just it's not a good feeling and that's something you know yeah they're there for 20 minutes to wreck your life for you know your sense of security for a year it seems like such a small thing to you know to get burglarized and that it wouldn't be that big of an impact or it wouldn't really affect you since you weren't there you weren't physically being harmed but it is I mean it just mentally it messes with you and just not feeling safe in your own home is not good not a good feeling at all it happened when I was between I can't remember the exact age but it was between five and seven but I never told anyone until I was a senior in high school 17 the one that I was abused by was my at the time my best friend's older brother he was about seven we were the same age he was about seven years older than us and all started off with the hugging game he would take us into his room her and I individually and just we would sit on his lap and and he would hug us and to any child that feels really good it was a fun game you know but he was very weird about it he said we couldn't we couldn't even talk to each other about it we couldn't her and I couldn't talk to each other about it every time she would leave the room he would jump on me he never I was never penetrated vaginally it was always oral mostly he would lay on top of me I couldn't even breathe he would say stupid things like well why didn't you say something how could I when I told my mom I remember we were in my room and I just kind of broke down I started crying and I ran I ran out of my room and ran downstairs and it was like I didn't want to tell you this I didn't she's going what don't you want to tell me and finally I just laid it all out there for and she she was very I mean she was upset she was hurt and I didn't tell her who it was I didn't tell her for about a year or so who it was it took a while for me to tell her she got me into therapy right away it was never a question of are you sure this happened you know are you sure you're not making this up or you're just remembering things wrong she never doubted me and to this day I wish I'd said something to her years before but I couldn't I was depressed for a long time I didn't even realize I was so depressed for a long time all I ever did was sit in my room and watch television and eat I have a hard time trusting people or I just jump in like feet first without them giving me any reason to really trust them usually I find I've gotten burned like that a lot of times but it's like because I did I feel as though as when I was that young I wanted to be able to do that with someone and I couldn't so now I'm still kind of looking for that when I walk into a room within 10 minutes of being in that room I know every way out of that room including if I had to jump out of a window and it's just it's like instinct to me now I don't even realize that I do it anymore but just I'm always looking for an out I'm never trying to be trapped in the corner never again I recognize now that it's not about sex at all it's all about power and I really do fear that a lot of them get off on that the whole idea of you hurt me you know you're hurting people I think that's what that's what they're looking for it's weird for me to talk about this because it's so third-person because I do feel as though she's still with me she's still in there that little girl is still you know she cries sometimes still and it's like it's okay it's okay to cry I mean I'm still angry I think I have every right to be angry but it doesn't it doesn't rule my life anymore it was a part of my childhood to be beaten so badly that my eyes would be swollen shut for days on end I had an uncle who was he was a sadist he was brutal he was he was absolutely insane and I suffered beatings at his hands time and time and time again he would be the only father figure that I would know as a child because my mother and him lived together all throughout the earliest part of my childhood my mother was as well she was a violent person any any small thing that annoyed her it was taken out on his kids my mother handed me over to a pedophile when I was five and by then I you would have thought that I was conditioned to handle the horrors of my life but this added a new dimension to my suffering and I found it almost unbearable to deal with so as a kindergartner I would have to leave kindergarten or class and go home and have sex with this man who was in his fifties I remember the long walk home and crying and falling down and having to get back up and walking on and falling down and crying and getting back up and walking on I had to adjust to that situation I had no choice but to shoulder this responsibility and I learned that food meant sex for me young in life I would turn to drugs and that would be a friend of mine for a long long long time my journey has been an enormous struggle for me I've known years and years of depression I've I've I've been physically sick in times in my life I lost my job I had no friends I I assumed I would die never expected to live through this I don't think being abused as a child goes away there's things that I do deal with as an adult now that it's kind of like problem troubleshooting I maintain taking care of my mental health and my emotional health and I've learned over the years to be fairly good at it I I know that I am a high-functioning abuse survivor I have a propensity towards honesty whereas my siblings don't they they want to just forget it they don't want to think about it but I think it's more insidious than that we were made to witness crimes committed against one another over and over again it's like we were we hold the truth and we can't get near one another it's too horrible to even see each other it's so painful when I was 16 years old a senior in high school my girlfriend and I were coming home from snow skiing and she had just taken her eyes off the road for a minute and we hit a truck and my neck was crushed and it left me paralyzed from the neck down after I had recovered from my injury and kind of built back some self-esteem and confidence I was a senior in college and had a boyfriend shortly after we became engaged I heard him refer to me as his pretty bird in a cage and I think it just sent chills down my spine when I heard that I always had to come home from class on time and tell him where I was going and when I would be back and when I came in from class I was a few minutes late and when I came in the door he was sitting on the couch and he had a butcher knife in his hand he grabbed me by my feet and pulled me out of the wheelchair he climbed on top of me and held my arms down with his knees and he started choking me and stabbing the butcher knife around my head at that point in time I realized my life was in danger and I didn't want to stay in this relationship but it was just three weeks later that he had pretty much held me hostage throughout the night and I was admitted into the hospital with a broken arm broken nose broken ribs and my sternum was permanently damaged then at that point it took the hospital the police the university and my family all stepped in and got me out of that relationship and it was about a year later when the trial was starting for the first charge and I went into that courtroom with the utmost confidence that the person that did this to me would be punished for what he did it was a five-day trial on the witness stand his attorney portrayed me as a woman with a severe disability that no other man would ever want or ever love and how wonderful his client was for giving up his life to take care of me and in a jury of 12 my batter was found not guilty that was completely devastating for me I felt revictimized only this time by the system what was so difficult for me is I knew there were other people that went through experiences of domestic violence but I felt like I was alone as a person with a disability going through that and there were so many layers of issues with my disability that contributed to the abuse made it more difficult to get away and to recover from I had moved to California after the abusive relationship and I was out there and I had just completed my master's degree in social work and this was six years later in 96 and it was one Friday evening about 8 o'clock I was sitting on the living room floor and I had my bedroom window open not unlike all the other apartments in my complex and I heard a noise in my bedroom I called for my caregiver to come to see what the noise was and the next thing I saw was she was walking out of my bedroom backwards and there was a man that had a gun to her head and behind him was another man with a knife then the man with the gun went to the sliding glass door opened the door and walked two more men so there were now four men in my apartment and they pulled all of the foam cords and all of the lights out and they burglarized my home and I was raped and repeatedly told that they were going to kill me I know that the reason I was chosen is because of my vulnerabilities with my disability I could not run from them I could not fight back I hardly even have the strength in my voice to be able to yell I'm an easy victim an easy target those four men were never caught I see all of the additional stigma in our society for people with disabilities I see how they are being targeted for crime and abuse and for me I felt like those experiences happened to me and I don't want to just bury them and not do anything with those experiences and people with disabilities is a huge population and I think it's important for everyone to realize that people with disabilities want to be treated fairly and equally in our society like everyone else and we want to have the same services and the same respect as everyone else in our society I am a victim of domestic violence and I think the thing that was the hardest to realize was that I really was a victim my access moment was very controlling very isolating from friends family church he monitored my coming and going he didn't let me talk on the phone you know my family was stupid and I was stupid and the things that you know the apartment that I lived in that he moved into with me it was stupid you know everything wasn't up to his par including me and so you know I was constantly in a race with myself to see you know what I could do to make it better or fix it and it just kind of snowballed from there and the crux was when he threatened to have me killed you could put on your your social face when you were outside but the thing that was most frightening was I was literally afraid to go home at the end of the day work was a comfortable setting church was a comfortable setting nobody was gonna do anything but then you get in your car to go home you start having panic attacks the daily impact once he threatened to have me killed it was like you were outside looking in because by the time that happened you know I wasn't really talking to my family because I had pretty much pushed them by the wayside they didn't like him or how he treated me because they could see it of course I was I was too involved in the relationship to see and so there was nobody to go to I kept thinking in the back of my mind that domestic violence happened to somebody else you know on TV it's it's some other person or some other background or lifestyle or age of a person you know I didn't think that it would be happening to me you go through the whole realm of emotions one minute you're mad as a hatter that you allowed yourself to do this or that he did it to you and the next minute they're so glad and relieved that you're out of it he was sexually abusive and I think of all of it that was probably the most painful and still probably the hardest to get past you know when you're in a relationship with somebody that you love and they use sex forcefully it's devastating it's demoralizing I've gotten to the point where I know I'm better off without him and I'm moving forward me being a victim of domestic violence has really affected my whole entire family and friends structure for the longest time it was the elephant in the room they tiptoed around all of the issues the fear has eased a little but it's still there it's still fresh enough emotionally I just I can't imagine going out on a date again or getting into a relationship again I can't imagine being intimate I'm afraid that if I put myself out there it'll happen again my daughter and I were going to the grocery store in the morning in November of 1979 and she was five months old and we were hit head-on by a drunk driver it was his fourth time for drunk driving he had no license he had no insurance he drank a pine a whiskey about before 10 o'clock in the morning my daughter was in a car seat and she the straps just busted on it and she came around and hit the back of her neck right here on the corner of the dashboard and crushed you have a cervical section of your spinal cord and it goes C1 through C10 to right about here and she crushed C4 5 and 6 these three vertebrae right here and they kind of twisted like this and went across and then ended back on top of her spinal cord and she was paralyzed from the neck down and I broke about 14 bones from the waist down and I have a couple of plates in my left foot and I have a rod in my right leg you know she always had pneumonia's and she had atelectasis and she had bladder infections and she had tracheostomies and other kinds of infections and she had seizures I had seven years of playing tug-of-war with God and I knew that he'd win someday she died and that was in 1986 I try and have the good pictures in my head of Laura instead of the bad pictures now but the bad pictures plagued me for a long time and the hatred was just unbearable for the man that hit me I mean that was like just carrying an extra tumor you know a big tumor and so you've got the hate you know it's just this intense hate and you lay in bed at night and you know I used to concoct all kinds of plans on how I was gonna kill this guy and then I thought I'm not gonna kill him I'll hit him in the back of the neck with a lead pipe I'll have somebody hold him down I'm gonna paralyze him like he did Laura and then you just go on with these scenarios and you just build this up so now you've got all this hatred for this person and you get all this pain and sorrow sometimes the people who do it even after they've been picked up for drunk driving they still don't see themselves as a problem you know because maybe somebody isn't in their face showing them a picture of their dead daughter or telling them what that felt like or how horrifying it was to have her chew her fingertips off because she couldn't feel them and was covered with blood one morning you know let's and then now let's start thinking about what if it was your kid what if somebody did this to your kid let's start thinking about that a little bit you know or having your mom or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your wife or whatever you know start thinking in those terms a little bit and you know maybe that'll help deter you you want to drink drink take a cab my son Anthony Dyer who's 16 years old had gotten had joined a gang that I didn't know about and the gang that he was in they murdered him my son hadn't come home and it was on my pay week and hadn't came home for two days that Friday I was going to call the television station and ask them to air my son on the TV but that evening I heard about a body had been found and I didn't feel comfortable with that I went down to look at the body and when I what I saw it didn't look like my son because it his face was swollen he was he was frozen it was it was a bitter cold the only way that really identified him was by his fingernail biting and it was hard it was very hard to deal with that they end up beating him then they put him wrapped him up and put him in a towel and put him in a trash can so the leader of the gang told him to 69 him which went meant killing so one of the guys went down down the hill and kicked him in his head until he wasn't breathing anymore and he took his gym shoes off that I had just bought him when they finally picked him up the the guy that had kicked him in his head he had his shoes on I didn't even know my son was in the game until after he passed he was only 16 he was to me he was still a baby I had a memory lost people that had known for years I couldn't remember where they were I couldn't go back to work for at least three weeks you know people would question me about different things and I don't want to deal with it I would cry all the time it's just your whole life you know you just it just turned upside down none of them showed any remorse next year three of them will get out they plea bargain some of them got seven years one of the girls that cleaned up the blood at the at the apartment that he had got beat up at she's out the leader the gang got 15 to 30 the one guy that had his gym shoes on he got 12 years they got 16 years and a guy that took his clothes off and burned them he got 12 years so they all got time if you've committed a crime and it's totally shut out and you're going on with your life but if that family they're not going on because their life is forever changed it's it would never never be the same and it hurts because I know my son wanted to live and it wasn't fair it was not fair name is Chi Young-on and I am the sister of Dong Young-on it was a long and difficult decision to sit and write this statement bringing up the feeling of memory is still something I avoid doing it was a Sunday and I think he was playing basketball with our church youth group Korean church youth group kids they went over to a local school court to play and five or eight white teenagers came over he said he didn't know them they asked you want to play five on five and they were they agreed they started playing basketball it seems like the white boys were purposely fouling pushing them shoveling and that happens in basketball so my brother was the oldest among the kids who went with him he said come on you know let's play let's just play a game you know why are you guys pushing and they would keep on pushing snicker about it together you know so it came up to a point where it grew into argument and my brother said I had enough we're gonna go and that's when they started kind of who the fd you think you are about five or eight more kids came so they were in total about 16 12 to 16 kids he heard from the back there's that chink standing there alone let's jump on him now when he's alone my brother turned around and they circled him and they're like chink go back to your country and we're not even from China after they spit on his face they knocked him to the ground four or five maybe even more kids started to step stomp and kick his head face and back he was lying on the ground he did not fight back all the facial cheekbone was all just cracked into pieces nose bone fracture and he lost sensation there was a nerve damage so he lost sensation on this four of his upper tooth and a whole bottom all the part he doesn't have sensation till now and it's been about a year since that happened the police report was that they wrote it up as if it was a gang fight that they were playing basketball they got in an argument it was a mutual fight they thought it was a Chinese gang versus American white gang and that offends me just because of the description of how I look and how we are the image of my brother falling on that concrete floor and people stepping and just kicking with shoes on his face I couldn't get that image out of my head what goes through once my when they kick and step on a living human being just covering his face and head to survive what does one have to do to deserve all this getting into an argument playing basketball I had a chance to read my victim impact statement at the court I wanted to see the kids who did this to my brother and I after I read my statement I said just because someone speaks less English than you just because someone looks a little different than you and whether it fits the same that doesn't give you any right to step to kick or spit on someone's face and the response I got from him was I'm sorry I caused you such inconvenience and but if you think I'm a racist I'm not because I don't treat people by their color hate crime you know it's not something explicit that you can see you are just hitting or you are just punching someone to your anger or your frustration but then pack the hurt that that person has they carry on for life and the people around that person who loved him or her they carry on the same pain to see someone that you really love suffer and go through pain that's not an easy thing to carry because it always stays in the back of your mind and it really hurts Joe was on the second floor the first floor apartment was empty and the basement floor was inhabited by the man that killed her he apparently had gotten the idea that Jill was gnarling on drug dealers in the area and he had been dealing drugs out of the apartment she had been there too much she had no idea he was waiting for her when she returned home from work at one o'clock in the morning and he punched her in the face stunning her and got her tied up and spent six hours killing her raping and killing her eight years later it still seems like yesterday they did not want any of us seeing her because she had been so badly beaten I was allowed to hug a body bag that was on the elevator at the funeral home and I basically said the goodbyes for the entire family at that point Jill's murder left me with this huge gaping void in my gut and I felt like if I ever let anybody close enough to see that they'd either think that I'm crazy or they would be terrified by what I had to show him I became really really suicidal after Jill's death and wanted very badly to be with her my oldest sister became pretty agoraphobic it's still difficult for her eight years later to leave the house without a strong family member with her my brother who had problems with alcohol prior became full-blown alcoholic now I am hyper-vigilant so unless I know everything that's going on I'm not comfortable eight years later I'm still sleeping with the door locked I have insomnia now stomach problems that make it impossible for me to eat out it's like traveling grief so it just keeps remanifesting in different different areas but it's all the same pain and anger that are sitting in there I got the the nickname angry Amy when I was working at the salon and I don't think I've been showing any anger at all you know I some of my reactions you know if this guy that's in prison for my sister's homicide if he gets raped and killed I don't care and maybe that's what they were perceiving in a vanguard that's I don't see it as being anger I see it as being realistic I can't care about his life he was found guilty of first-degree murder he was found guilty of rape it was death penalty plus 60 the death penalty was then overturned on appeal to a life sentence the biggest thing as far as as offenders in homicide goes is the fact that there is not just one victim you're not just stopping at that one person they are destroying many many lives my quality of life will never be the same as it was you know my innocence is completely gone there's very little that life can show me that is gonna be as good as when Joel was alive my daughter was trying to stop an argument between two more girls her friend of hers and the young lady that stabbed her and she walks up to her and try to you know protect and well how do you say stop the fight so it wouldn't start rather and the girl stabbed her in the neck and it hit her a order and she bled to death you see my daughter suffered from MS she couldn't fight she couldn't walk straight on a straight line when I got to the hospital they did tell me that she had a pulse and of course that made me feel better because I knew she was you know she had life but then a doctor came out and told me she didn't make it and that's when I kind of went to pieces I guess you might say I do know that there are a lot of people who commit these crimes and think that they should be shouldn't be held responsible but they should and they should be punished because you can't go around taking people's lives and not be punished I think the girl that took 10 years she just thought she should get out because she had a son at home who needed her and I wanted to jump up and say some but that big son of mine was with me and he held me down because we wasn't supposed to talk really and I wanted to tell yes my daughter had a mother at home that needed her but she couldn't have her if she ever comes to court again or tried to get out on parole again I want to be there too because even though I know I won't get my daughter again I miss her if people just realize how it hurts the family of these people that they hurt kill and maybe they could understand I wouldn't want that to happen to me so I can't do it but we have some people with no conscience I guess one year later that my son I lost my youngest son and that didn't help matters either but God has been with me and I'm doing the best I can and I'm sure they wouldn't want me crying every day or you know suffering because of them I can hear them I'm like you got to go on you have to live so that's what I'm trying to do I was carrying on doing routine housework and I had gone outside for a few minutes to check a dryer vent had come back in left a door unlocked just for a matter of moments and before I could go back to close that door to lock that door man came in through that door came up from behind me threatened me took me out to the woods behind my home where he robbed and raped me I really feared that I'd never see my husband or children again but he did let me go but with the words you remember that I know where you live and if you tell anyone I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna kill you and in a small town like we live in to relocate would have been you know of no use at all especially my husband's a police officer he'd been upstairs asleep during that time that the man came in but he'd been up for over 30 hours and I knew that if I screamed then I was afraid that it would the end result would be not only my death but his death as well I'm the protector I'm the the husband and I felt like I had failed and as a police officer especially and here this happens not only in my own town but in my own home my husband called the police I begged him not to I had knew that this man meant what he said that if I had told anyone that he was going to come and kill me of course I went into immediate shock I was like a zombie it was like this can't have really happened to me you know I've got to be dreaming and I just can't wake up I couldn't sleep when I did finally sleep there were nightmares I couldn't eat I couldn't think I couldn't focus the kids and I would be having dinner with Debbie in the evening and she would just explode seemingly for no reason and you know it would shock us and then we'd realize okay something was just said or there was some reference that that flashed her back and we had to learn how to accept that and deal with it anytime I was in a crowd I was looking wondering you know is he following me is he looking at my children when I would kiss my children goodbye in the morning I'd wonder are they gonna come back through the door in the afternoon because I just that really and truly felt that if he couldn't get to me that he especially would probably grab my daughter a lot of people told me after I was attacked at Debbie at least you're alive and I remember thinking you know I'm not alive I felt like I couldn't trust anybody especially of course strangers I never felt comfortable anywhere I never felt safe anywhere you never get over this I see an anger sometimes in my son whenever he hears about a woman that's happening to another woman because he knows firsthand what it does to the entire family it's not just the primary victim that's involved here it's each and every person that touches her life and my husband of course he felt guilty because here he felt like he was able to protect the whole city of Williamsburg but yet he laid asleep while his own wife was taken out of her home in the middle of the day so the guilt was phenomenal there's multiple victims I was a victim both of my kids suffered my daughter was afraid to go out from the house to the car at night my son both of them were actually bullied at school over this because we did go public with it it was six and a half years after the rape that he was found and he was found because he had robbed two other women Virginia has a law where they will take the a sample from all convicted felons they do a DNA typing on them testing on them put it in the data bank the computer immediately does a cross check with other evidence that has been entered and because he was there for another robbery he got caught I want to be able to meet face-to-face with him I guess in some ways it's like facing your fear I want to look at him and I want to tell him I'm not afraid of you anymore I need to be able to look at him eye to eye and say you can't hurt me anymore it's over and it's done and I need that for me I was walking home from a dinner party it's 11 o'clock at night walking down Pennsylvania Avenue in our nation's capital and was accosted by three gentlemen that grabbed me and drug me behind a dimsy dumpster and beat me and kicked me they knocked out my front tooth and bruised a couple of ribs and all they really got out of the attack was $20 I literally gave them my bill fall they took 20 bucks out that's what it was in there threw it back at me and they took off I got up and I ran I ran home for the rest of the blocks during that entire night I didn't sleep I didn't bathe I just remember laying in my bed staring at the wall and the ceiling and thinking God I'm so thrilled to be at home and so thrilled to be alive we called my parents after the police officer had left and I had one friend on one phone and I was on another and I just wanted to assure my mother that that I was first of all okay that I was going to be okay but I told her and she was on one phone my dad was on another and so it was kind of hectic and crazy and they were both very upset and my mother was very emotional and crying and you know you never want to hear your parents be that just so sad you know I had a great doctor I had a great dentist they worked with me but financially it was very difficult my parents were extremely helpful in that situation if not I don't know what happened I still think about it when I'm walking down the street whether it's you know six o'clock at night or nine o'clock at night I really don't walk after nine I know that sounds crazy but I take cabs everywhere now long-term I just don't think that you ever ever recover from it it makes you so much aware and it makes you a little bit more jaded about people that you pass on the street you never know what's going to happen there were three individuals that were captured that were doing random acts of violence roaming Capitol Hill I think that they need to take responsibility for their actions I think that certainly so they can't do this to anyone else I think that monetary damages should be a consideration also counseling I mean just all these different all these different factors but first of all I'd really just want to know why I don't understand what makes people that way