 Chapter 12 of Paul Clifford by Edward Boehr at Lytton. This Libervox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 12, up Rousey then, my merry, merry men, Joanna Bally. When the moon rose that night, there was one spot upon which she, palely broke, about ten miles distant from Warlock, which the forewarned traveler would not have been eager to pass, but which might not have afforded a bad study to such artists as have caught from the savage painter of the Apennines, a love for the wild and the adventurous. Dark trees scattered far and wide over a broken but verdant sword made the background, the moon shimmered through the boughs as she came slowly forth, from her pavilion of cloud and poured a broader beam on two figures just advanced beyond the trees. More plainly brought into light by her rays than his companion, here a horseman clad in a short cloak that barely covered the crepe of his steed was looking to the priming of a large pistol which he had just taken from his holster. A slouched head and a mask of black crepe conspired with the action to throw a natural suspicion on the intentions of the rider. His horse, a beautiful dark gray, stood quite motionless with arched neck and its short ears quickly moving to and fro demonstrative of that sagacious and anticipated attention which characterizes the noblest of all tamed animals. He would not have perceived the impatience of the steed but for the white foam that gathered round the bit and for an occasional and unfrequent toss of the head. Behind this horseman and partially thrown into the dark shadow of the trees, another man similarly clad was busied in tightening the girth of a horse of great strength and size as he did so he hummed with no unmusical murmur the air of a popular drinking song. S'death, Ned, said his comrade who had for some time been plunged in a silent reverie. S'death, why can you not stifle your love for the fine arts at a moment like this? That hama thine grows louder every moment. At last I expect it will burst out into a full roar. Recollect, we are not at gentlemen George's now. The more is the pity, Augustus answered, Ned, so ho, little John, wo ho, sir, a nice long night like this is made on purpose for drinking. Will you, sir, keep still then? Man never is but always to be blessed, said the moralizing Tomlinson. You see you sigh for other scenes, even when you have a fine night and the chance of a god ascend before you. I, the night is fine enough, said Ned, who was rather a grumbler as having finished his groom-like operation he now slowly mounted. Darn it, Oliver, the moon looks out as broadly as if he were going to blab. For my part, I love a dark night with a star here and there winking at us as much as to say, I see you, my boys, but I won't say a word about it. And a small pattering, grizzling, misling rain that prevents little John's hoofs being heard and covers one's retreat as it were. Besides, when one is a little wet, it is always necessary to drink the more, to keep the cold from one's stomach when one gets home. Or in other words, said Augustus, who loved a maxim from his very heart, light, wet, cherishes, heavy, wet. Good, said Ned, yawning, hang it, I wish the captain would come. Do you know what a clock it is? Not far, short of 11, I suppose, about that. His, does that a carriage? No, it is only a sudden rise in the wind. Very self-sufficient in Mr. Wind to allow himself to be raised without our help, said Ned, either way, we are, of course, to go back to the red cave. So Captain Lovett says, tell me, Ned, what do you think of the new tenant Lovett has put into the cave? Oh, I have stranged out there, answered Ned, shaking the hairy honors of his head. I don't half-like it, consider the cave as our stronghold and not only to be known, to men of tried virtue interrupted Tomlinson. I agree with you. I must try and get Lovett to discard his singular protégé, as the French say. Yeah, Augustus, how came you by so much learning? You know all the poets by heart to say nothing of Latin and French. Oh, hang it, I was brought up like the captain to a literate way of life. That's what makes you so thick with him, I suppose. He writes and sings, too, a tolerable song and is certainly a deuce, clever fellow, what a rise in the world he has made. You recollect what a poor sort of way he was in when you introduced him at Gentleman George's. And now he's the captain crank of the gang. The gang, the company, you mean? Gang, indeed, one would think you were speaking of a nod of pickpockets. Yes, Lovett is a clever fellow and thanks to me a very decent philosopher. It is impossible to convey to our reader the grave error of importance with which Tomlinson made his concluding laudation. Yes, that he, after a pause, he has a bold, plain way of viewing things. And like Voltaire, he becomes a philosopher by being a man of sense. It is, see, my horse is here, someone is coming, though I don't hear him. Keep watch. The robbers grew silent. The sound of distant hoofs was indistinctly heard. And as it came nearer, there was a crash of boughs as if a hedge had been ridden through. Presently, the moon gleamed picturesquely on the figure of a horseman approaching through the cops in the rear of the robbers. Now he was have seen among the sinuosities of his forest path, now in full sight, now altogether hid, then his horse nade impatiently. Now he again came in sight and in a moment more, he had joined the pair. The newcomer was of a tall and sinewy frame and in the first bloom of manhood, a flock of dark green edged with a narrow silver lace and buttoned from the throat to the middle gave due effect to an upright mean, a broad chest and a slender but rounded waist that stood in no need of the compression of the tailor. A short riding cloak clasped across the throat with a silver buckle hung picturesquely over one shoulder while his lower limbs were cased in military boots which though they rose above the knee were evidently neither heavy nor embarrassing to the vigorous sinews of the horsemen. The comparisons of the steed, the bit, the bridle, the saddle, the holster were according to the most approved fashion of the day. And the steed itself was in the highest condition and a remarkable beauty. The horseman's air was erect and bold, a small but cold black mustachio heightened the resolute expression of his short curved lip and from beneath the large hat which overhung his brow, his long locks escaped and waved darkly in the keen night air. Altogether horsemen and horse exhibited a galant and even a chivalrous appearance which the hour and the scene heightened to a dramatic and romantic effect. Ah, love it! How are you, my merry men? Were the salutations exchanged? What news, said Ned? Brave news, look to it, my Lord, and his courage will be by in ten minutes at most. Have you got anything more out of the parson? I frighten so gloriously, asked Augustus. No more of that hereafter, now for our new prey. Are you sure our noble friend will be so soon at hand? said Tomlinson patting his steed that now pawed in excited hilarity. Sure I saw him change horses. I was in the stable yard at the time. He got up for half an hour to eat, I fancy. Be sure that I played him a trick in the meanwhile. What for? asked Ned, self-inservant. The post boys, I, I forgot them. Never mind, you must frighten them. Forwards, cried Ned, and his horse sprang from his armed heel. One moment said, love it, I must put on my mask. So ho, Robin, so ho, now for it, forwards. As the trees rapidly disappeared behind them, the riders entered at a hand gallop on a broad tract of wasteland interspersed with dykes and occasionally fences of hurdles over which their horses bounded, like quadrupeds well accustomed to such exploits. Certainly at that moment, what with the fresh air, the fitful moonlight now breaking broadly out, now lost in a rolling cloud, the exciting exercise, and that racy and dancing stir of the blood, which all action, whether evil or noble in its nature, raises in our veins. What with all this, we cannot but allow the fascination of that lawless life, a fascination so great that one of the most noted gentlemen, high women of the day, one, two, who had received an excellent education and mixed in no inferior society, is reported to have said when the rope was about his neck and the good and ordinary was exhorting him to repent of his ill-spent life. Ill spent you dog gas, smacking his lips, it was delicious. Bye, bye, mister, you know your name, raise your thoughts to heaven. But a canter across the common, oh, muttered the criminal and his soul cantered off to eternity. So briskly leaped the heart of the leader of the three that as they now came in view of the main road and the distant wheel of a carried word on the ear, he threw up his right hand with a joyous gesture and burst into a boyish exclamation of hilarity and delight. Whist, captain, said Ned, checking his own spirits with a mock air of gravity, let us conduct ourselves like gentlemen. It is only your low fellows who get into such confoundedly high spirits, men of the world like us, should do everything as if their hearts were broken. Melancholy ever cronies with sublimity and courage is sublime, said Augustus with the pomp of a maxim maker. A maxim which would have pleased Madame Dostal who thought that philosophy consisted in fine sentiments. In the Life of Lord Byron just published by Mr. Moore, the distinguished biographer makes a similar assertion to that of the sage Augustus. When did ever a sublime thought spring up in the soul that melancholy was not to be found, however latent in its neighborhood? Now with due deference to Mr. Moore, this is a very sickly piece of nonsense that is not even an atom of truth to stand on. God said, let there be light and there was light. We should like to know where lies the melancholy of that sublime sentence. Truth, says Plato, is the body of God and light is his shadow. In the name of common sense, in what possible corner in the vicinity of that lofty image lurks the jaundiced face of this eternal betenoir of Mr. Moore's. Again, in that sublimest passage and the sublimest of the Latin poets Lucretius which burst forth in honor of Epicurus, is there anything that speaks to us of sadness? On the contrary, in the three passages we have referred to, especially in the two first quoted, there is something splendidly luminous and cheering. Joy is often a great source of the sublime. The suddenness of its eventings would alone suffice to make it so. What can be more sublime than the triumphant Psalms of David, intoxicated as they are with an almost delirium of transport, even in the gloomiest passages of the poets where we recognize sublimity, we do not often find melancholy. We are stricken by terror, appalled by awe, but seldom softened into sadness. In fact, melancholy rather belongs to another class of feelings than those excited by a sublime passage or those which engender its composition. On one hand in the loftiest flights of Homer, Milton, and Shakespeare, we will challenge a critic to discover this green sickness which Mr. Moore would convert into the magnificence of the plague. On the other hand, where is the evidence that melancholy made the habitual temperaments of those divine men? Of Homer, we know nothing of Shakespeare, Milton, we have reason to believe the ordinary temperament was constitutionally cheerful. The latter both civet, a thousand instances in contradiction to an assertion, it were not worthwhile to contradict were it not so generally popular, so highly sanctioned, and so eminently pernicious to everything that is manly and noble in literature rush to our memory. But we think we have already quoted enough to disprove the sentence which the illustrious biographer has himself disproved in more than 20 passages, which if he is pleased to forget, we think heaven posterity never will. Now, we are on the subject of this life, so excellent in many respects, we cannot but observe that we think the whole scope of its philosophy utterly unworthy of the accomplished mind of the writer. The philosophy consists of an unpardonable distorting of general truths to suit the peculiarities of an individual noble indeed, but proverbially morbid and eccentric, a striking instance of this occurs in the labored assertion that poets make, but sorry, domestic characters, what? Because Lord Byron has said to have been a bad husband, was to go no further back, for examples, was Walter Scott a bad husband, or was Campbell, or is Mr. Moore himself? Why in the name of justice should it be insinuated that Milton was a bad husband, when as far as anyone can judge of the matter, it was Mrs. Milton, who was the bad wife, and why, oh why should we be told by Mr. Moore, a man who, to judge by Captain Rock and the epic you're in, once neither learning nor diligence, why are we to be told with peculiar emphasis that Lord Bacon never married when Lord Bacon not only married, but his marriage was so advantageous as to be an absolute epic in his career. Really, really, one begins to believe that there is not such a thing as a fact in the world. Now, for the hedge, I'd love it, when heeding his comrades and his horse sprang into the road, the three men now were drawn up quite still in motion, lest by the side of the hedge, the broad road lay before them curving out of sight on either side, the ground was hardening under an early tendency to frost and the clear ring of approaching hoofs sounded on the ear of the robbers, ominous, happily, of the chinks of more attractive metal about if hope told no flattering tale to be their own. Presently, the long expected vehicle made its appearance at the turn of the road and it rolled rapidly on behind four fleet post horses. You, Ned, with your large steve, stopped the horses, you, Augustus, believed the post boys leave me to do the rest, said the captain. As agreed, returned Ned, iconically, now look at me and the horse of the vain highwayman sprang from its shelter. So instantaneous were the operations of these experienced tacticians that love its orders were almost executed in a briefer time than it had cost him to give them. The carriage being stopped in the post boys white and trembling with two pistols leveled by Augustus and Pepper, cocked at their heads, love it dismounting through open the door of the carriage and in a very civil tone and with a very bland address accosted the inmate. Do not be alarmed, my lord, you are perfectly safe. We only require your watch and purse. Really, answered a voice still softer than that of the robber while marked in somewhat French countenance, crowned with a fur cap, peered forth at the arrestor. Really, sir, your request is so modest that I were worse than cruel to refuse you. My purse is not very full and you may as well have it as one of my rascally dunes. For my watch I have a love for and I understand you, my lord, interrupted the highwayman. What do you value your watch at? Hump, to you it may be worth some 20 guineas. Allow me to see it. Your curiosity is extremely gratifying. Return the nobleman as with great reluctance he drew forth a gold repeater set as was sometimes the fashion of that day in precious stones. The highwayman looked slightly at the bobble. Your lordship city with great gravity was too modest in your calculation. Your taste reflects greater credit on you. Allow me to assure you that your watches were 50 guineas to us at the least to show you that I think so most sincerely. I will either keep it and we will say no more on the matter or I will return it to you upon your word of honor that you will give me a check for 50 guineas payable by your real bankers to bear it for self. Take your choice. It is quite immaterial to me. Upon my honor, sir, said the Trevor with some surprise struggling to his features, your coolness and self-possession are quite admirable. I see you know the world. Your lordship flatters me, returned Lovett bowing. How do you decide? Why is it possible to write drafts without ink, pen or paper? Lovett drew back and while he was searching in his pockets for writing implements which he always carried about him, the traveler seized the opportunity and suddenly snatching a pistol from the pocket of the carriage leveled it full at the head of the robber. The traveler was an excellent and practiced shot. He was almost within arm's length of his intended victim. His pistols were the envy of all his Irish friends. He pulled the trigger. The powder flashed in the pan and the highwaymen, not even changing countenance, drew forth a small ink bottle and placing a steel pen in it, handed it to the nobleman, saying with incomparable saufois, would you like my lord to try the other pistol? If so, obliged me by a quick aim as you must see the necessity of dispatch. If not, here is the back of a letter on which you can write the draft. The traveler was not a man apt to become embarrassed in anything save his circumstances, but he certainly felt a little discomposed and confused as he took the paper. An uttering some broken words wrote the check. The highwaymen glanced over, saw it was written according to form and then with a bow of cool respect, returned the watch and shut the door of the carriage. Meanwhile, the servant had been shivering in front, boxed up in that solitary convenience term, not euphoniously a dickie. Him, the robber, now briefly accosted. What have you got about you belonging to your master? Only his pills, your honor, which I forgot to put in that pills, throw them down to me. The valet tremblingly extricated from his side pocket, a little box which he threw down and love it caught in his hand. He opened the box, counted the pills, one, two, four, twelve, aha, he reopened the carriage door. Are these your pills, my lord? The wondering peer who had begun to resettle himself in the corner of his carriage answered that they were. My lord, I see you are in a high state of fever. You were a little delirious just now when you snapped a pistol in your friend's face. Permit me to recommend you a prescription. Swallow off all these pills. My god, cried the travelers, startled into earnestness. What do you mean 12 of those pills would kill a man? Herein said the robber, appealing to his comrades who roared with laughter, what, my lord, would you rebel against your doctor? Five, five, be persuaded. And with a soothing gesture, he stretched the pill box towards the recording nose of the traveler, but though a man who could, as well, as anyone make the best of a bad condition, the traveler was especially careful of his health. And so obstinate was he where that was concerned that he would rather have submitted to the effectual operation of a bullet than incurred the chance operation of an extra pill. He, therefore, with great indignation, as the box was still extended towards him, snatched it from the hand of the robber and flinging it across the road, said with dignity, do your worst rascals, but if you leave me alive, you shall repent the outrage you have offered to one of his majesty's household. Then, as if becoming sensible of the ridicule of affecting too much, in his present situation, he added in an altered tone. And now for heaven's sake, shut the door, and if you must kill somebody, there's my servant on the box. He's paid for it. This speech made the robbers laugh more than ever and love it, who liked to joke even better than a purse, immediately closed the carriage door, saying, I do you, my lord, and let me give you a piece of advice. Whenever you get out at a country inn and stay half an hour while your horses are changing, take your pistols with you, or you may chance to have the charge drawn. With this admonition, the robber withdrew and seeing that the valet held out to him a long green purse, he said, gently shaking his head, rose, should not pray on each other, my good fellow, you rob your master, so do we, let each keep what he has got. Long knit and Tomlinson, then backing their horses, the carriage was free, and away started the post boys at a pace which seemed to show less regard for life than the robbers themselves had evinced. Meanwhile, the captain remounted his steed and the three Confederates, bounding in gallant style over the hedge through which they had previously gained the road, galloped off in the same direction they had come, the moon ever and anon bringing into light their flying figures and the sound of many a joyous peel of laughter ringing through the distance along the frosty air. End of chapter 12, chapter 13 of Paul Clifford by Edward Boeber Lytton. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 13. What is here? Gold? Thus much of this wilt make black white foul fare. Timon of Athens came there a certain Lord, neat, trimly dressed, fresh as a bridegroom. Henry IV. I do not know the man I should avoid so soon as that spare Cassius. He reads much. He is a great observer and he looks quite through the deeds of men. Often he smiles, but smiles in such a sort as if he mocked himself or scorned his spirit that could be moved to smile at anything. Julius Caesar. The next day, late at noon, as Lucy was sitting with her father, not as usual engaged either in work or in reading, but seemingly quite idle with her pretty foot upon the squire's gouty stool and eyes fixed on the carpet while her hands never were hands so soft and so small as Lucy's, though they may have been eclipsed in whiteness, were lightly clasped together and reposed listlessly on her knees. The surgeon of the village abruptly entered with a face full of news and horror. Old Squire Brandon was one of those persons who always hear news, whatever it may be, later than any of their neighbors. And it was not till all the gossips of the neighborhood had picked the bone of the matter quite bare that he was now informed through the medium of Mr. Pillum that Lord Maul Loverer had on the preceding night been stopped by three highwaymen in his road to his country's seat and robbed to a considerable amount. The fame of the worthy Dr. Slappeton's maladventure having long air, this been spread far and wide. The whole neighborhood was naturally thrown into great consternation. Magistrates were sent to large dogs borrowed, lunderbuses cleaned, and a subscription made throughout the parish for the raising of a patrol. There seemed little doubt but that the offenders in either case were members of the same horde. And Mr. Pillum, in his own mind, was perfectly convinced that they meant to encroach upon his trade and destroy all the surrounding householders who were worth the trouble. The next week passed in the most diligent endeavors on the part of the neighboring magistrates and yeomanry to detect and seize the robbers. But their labors were utterly fruitless and one justice of peace who had been particularly active was himself entirely cleaned out by an old gentleman who under the name of Mr. Bagshot, rather an ominous cognomen offered to conduct the unsuspicious magistrate to the very spot where the miscreants might be seized. No sooner, however, had he drawn the port justice away from his comrades into a lonely part of the road, than he stripped him to his shirt. He did not even leave his worship his flannel drawers, though the weather was as bitter as the dog days of 1829. It is not my way, said the Horry Ruffian when the justice petitioned, at least for the latter article of attire, does not my way, I be slow about my work but I does it thoroughly, so off with your rags olden. This was however the only additional instance of aggression in the vicinity of Warlock Manor House and by degrees as the autumn declined and no further enormities were perpetrated. People began to look out for a new topic of conversation. This was afforded them by a piece of unexpected good fortune to Lucy Brandon. Mrs. Warner, an old lady to whom she was slightly related and with whom she had been residing during her brief and only visit to London, died suddenly and in her will declared Lucy to be her sole heiress. The property which was in the funds and which amounted to 60,000 pounds was to be enjoyed by Ms. Brandon immediately on her attaining for 21st year. Meanwhile, the executors to the will were to pay to the young heiress the annual sum of 600 pounds. The joy which this news created in Warlock Manor House may easily be conceived. The squire projected improvements here and repairs there and Lucy poor girl who had no idea of money for herself beyond the purchase of a new pony or a gown from London seconded with affectionate pleasure all her father's suggestions and delighted herself with the reflection that those fine plans which were to make the brandons greater than the brandons ever were before were to be realized by her own money. It was at this identical time that the surrounding gentry made a simultaneous and grand discovery, namely of the astonishing merits and great good sense of Mr. Joseph Brandon. It was a pity they observed that he was of so reserved and shot a turn, it was not becoming in a gentleman of so ancient a family but why should they not endeavor to draw him from his retirement into those more public scenes which he was doubtless well calculated to adorn. Accordingly, as soon as the first month of morning had expired several coaches, chariots, jezzes and horses which had never been seen at Warlock Manor House before arrived there one after the other in the most friendly manner imaginable. Their owners admired everything. The house was such a fine relic of old times for their parts they liked an oak staircase and those nice old windows and what a beautiful peacock and heaven save the mark that magnificent jasmine tree was worth a forest. Mr. Brandon was requested to make one of the county hunt not that he any longer hunted himself but that his name would give such consequence to the thing. Miss Lucy must come to pass a week with her dear friends. The honorable Mrs. Sans Stair Augustus, their brother had such a sweet lady's horse. In short, the customary change which takes place in people's characters after the acquisition of a fortune took place in the characters of Mr. and Miss Brandon. And when people become suddenly amiable it is no wonder that they should suddenly gain a vast accession of friends. But Lucy though she had seen so little of the world was not quite blind and the square rather obtuse was not quite a fool. If they were not rude to their new visitors they were by no means overpowered with gratitude at their condescension. Mr. Brandon declined subscribing to the hunt. Miss Lucy laughed in the face of the honorable Augustus Sans Stair. Among their new guests however was one who to great knowledge of the world joined an extreme and even brilliant polish of manners which at least prevented deceit from being disagreeable if not wholly from being unseen. This was the new lieutenant of the county Lord Ma Levore. Though possessed of an immense property in that district Lord Ma Levore had either to resided but little on his estates. He was one of those gay lords who are now somewhat uncommon in this country after mature manhood is attained who lived an easy and rakeish life rather among their parasites than their equals and who yet by aid of an agreeable manner natural talents and a certain graceful and like cultivation of mind not the less pleasant for its being universally colored with worldliness and an amusing rather than offensive regard for self never lose their legitimate station in society who are oracles in dress, equipages, cookery and beauty and having no character of their own are able to fix by a single word or a character upon anyone else. Thus, while Ma Levore rather lived the dissilute life of a young nobleman who prefers the company of agreeable demi reps to that of rearsome duchesses that maintained the deck with state befitting a mature age and an immense interest in the country. He was quite as popular at court where he held a situation in the household as he was in the green room where he enchanted every actress on the right side of 40. A word from him in the legitimate quarters of power went further than and harangue from another and even the prudes at least all those who had daughters confessed that his lordship was a very interesting character. Like Brandon his familiar friend he had risen in the world from the Irish Baron to the English Earl without having ever changed his politics which were alteratory. And we need not observe that he was deemed like Brandon a model of public integrity. He was possessed of two places under government six votes in the House of Commons and eight livings in the church. We must add injustice to his loyal and religious principles that there was not in the three kingdoms a firmer friend to the existing establishments. Whenever a nobleman does not marry people try to take away his character. Lord Malevera had never married. The wigs have been very bitter on the subject. They even alluded to it in the House of Commons. That chased assembly where the never failing subject of reproach against Mr. Pitt was the not being of an amorous temperament but they had not hitherto prevailed against the stout Earl's celibacy. It is true that if he was devoid of a wife he had secured to himself plenty of substitutes. His profession was that of a man of gallantry and though he avoided the daughters it was only to make love to the mothers but his lordship had now attained a certain age and it was at last circulated among his friends that he intended to look out for a lady Malevera. Spare your caresses that is toadie and chief to a certain Duchess who had three portionless daughters. Malevera has sworn that he will not choose among your order. You know his high politics and you will not wonder at his declaring himself a verse in matrimony as a morals to a community of goods. The announcement of the Earl's matrimonial design and the circulation of this anecdote set all the clergyman's daughters in England on a blaze of expectation. And when Malevera came to Shire upon obtaining the honor of the lieutenancy to visit his estates and court the friendship of his neighbors there was not an old young lady or 40 who worked in broad stitch and had never been to London above a week at a time who did not deem herself exactly the sort of person sure to fascinate his lordship. It was late in the afternoon when the traveling chariot of this distinguished person preceded by two outriders in the Earl's undressed livery of dark green stopped at the hall door of Warlock House. The squire was at home actually and metaphorically for he never dreamed of denying himself to any one gentle or simple. The door of the carriage being opened there descended a small slight man richly dressed for lace and silk vestments were not then quite discarded though gradually growing less the mode and of an air prepossessing and distinguished rather than dignified his years for his countenance though handsome was deeply marked and events the tokens of dissipation seemed more numerous than they really were and though not actually past middle age Lord Malevera might fairly have received the unpleasing epithet of elderly however his step was firm his gate upright and his figure was considerably more youthful than his physiognomy the first compliments of the day having passed and Lord Malevera having expressed his concern that his long and frequent absence from the county had hitherto prevented his making the acquaintance of Mr. Brandon the brother of one of his oldest and most esteemed friends conversation became on both sides rather an effort. Mr. Brandon first introduced the subject of the weather and the turnips inquired whether his lordship was not very fond for his part he used to be but lately the rheumatism had disabled him he hoped his lordship was not subject to that complaint of shooting catching only the last words for it besides the awful complexity of the squire's sentences Malevera was slightly affected by the aristocratic complaint of deafness the Earl answered with a smile the complaint of shooting very good indeed Mr. Brandon it is seldom that I've heard so wittier phrase no I'm not in the least trouble with that epidemic it is a disorder very prevalent in this county. My lord said the squire rather puzzled and then observing that Malevera did not continue he thought it expedient to start another subject I was exceedingly grieve to hear that your lordship in traveling to Malevera park that is a very ugly road across the wasteland the roads in this country are in general pretty good for my own part when I was a magistrate I was very strict in that respect was wrong you have not yet I believe detected for my part though I do not profess to be much of a politician I do think that in affairs of robbery there is a great deal of remissness in the ministers the villains our friend is disaffected thought the lord lieutenant imagining that the last appropriate term was applied to the respectable personages specified in the parenthesis bowing with a polished smile to the squire Malevera replied aloud that he was extremely sorry that their conduct meaning the ministers did not meet with Mr. Brandon's approbation well thought the squire that is playing the courtier with a vengeance meet with my approbation said he wanted how could your lordship thank me for though I am none of your saints I am I hope a good Christian and excellent one judging from your word your lordship must be so partial to crime I partial to crime returned Malevera thinking he had stumbled unawares on some outrageous Democrat yet smiling as softly as usual you judge me harshly Mr. Brandon you must do me more justice and you can only do that by knowing me better whatever unlucky answer the squire might otherwise have made was cut off by the entrance of Lucy and the Earl secretly delighted at the interruption rose to render her his homage and to remind her of the introduction he had formally been so happy as to obtain to her through the friendship of Mr. William Brandon a friendship said that Gallant nobleman to which I've often before been indebted but which was never more agreeably exerted on my behalf upon this Lucy who though she had been so painfully bashful during her meeting with Mr. Clifford felt no overpowering diffidence in the presence of so much greater a person replied laughingly and the Earl rejoined by a second compliment conversation was now no longer an effort and Malevera the most consummate of epicures whom even royalty trembled to ask without preparation on being invited by the unconscious squire to partake of the family dinner eagerly accepted the invitation. It was long since the nightly walls of Warlock have been honored by the presence of a guest so courtly the good squire heaped his plate with a profusion of boiled beef and while the poor Earl was contemplating into Smay the alps upon alps which he was expected to devour the gray-headed butler anxious to serve him with a laquity whipped away the overloaded plate and presently returned it yet more astoundingly surcharge with an additional world of a composition of stony colors and pseudorific aspect which after examining in mute attention for some moments and carefully removing as well as he was able to the extreme edge of his plate the Earl discovered to be suet pudding. You eat nothing my Lord cried the squire let me give you this is more underdone holding between blade and fork in middle air a pouring fragment of scarlet shaking a squirt locks another slice swift at the word dropped upon Malevera's plate the harpy finger and ruthless thumb of the gray-headed butler not a morsel more cried the Earl struggling with the murderous domestic my dear sir excuse me I assure you I have never ate such a dinner before never may now quote the squire expost relating you really and this air is so keen that your lordship should indulge your appetite if you follow the physician's advice eat nothing again Malevera was at fault the physicians are right Mr. Brandon said he very right and I'm forced to live upstemiously indeed I do not know whether if I were to exceed at your hospitable table and attack all that you would bestow upon me I should ever recover it you would have to seek a new lieutenant for your charming county and on the tomb of the last Malevera the hypocritical and unrelated heir would inscribe died of the visitation of beef John Earl et cetera plain as the meaning of this speech might have seemed to others the squire only laughed at the effeminate appetite of the speaker and inclined to thank him an excellent fellow for justing so good humbly on his own physical infirmity but Lucy had the tact of her sex and taking pity on the Earl's calamitous situation though she certainly never gasped at its extent entered with so much grace and ease into the conversation which he sought to establish between them that Malevera's gentlemen who had hitherto been pushed aside by the zeal of the gray-headed butler found an opportunity when the squire was laughing and the butler staring to steal away the overburdened plate unsuspected and unseen. In spite however of these evils of bored enlargement Malevera was exceedingly well pleased with his visit though did he terminate it till the shades of night had begun to close and the distance from his own residence conspired with experience to remind him that it was possible for a high reman's audacity to attack the equipage even of Lord Malevera he then reluctantly re-entered his carriage and bidding the postillions drive as fast as possible Malevera grabbed himself in his rocolaire and divided his thoughts between Lucy Brandon and the Omar de Guadalajara with which he proposed to console himself immediately on his return home. However fate which mocks our most cherished hopes ordained that on arriving at Malevera Park the owner should be suddenly afflicted with a loss of appetite, a coldness in the limbs, a pain in the chest and various other ungracious symptoms of fortending malady. Lord Malevera went straight to bed and remained there for some days and when he recovered his physicians ordered him to bath. The wig Methodists who hated him ascribed his illness to Providence and his lordship was firmly of opinion that it should be ascribed to the beef and pudding. However this be there was an end for the present to the hopes of young ladies of 40 and to the intended festivities at Malevera Park. Good Heaven said the Earl as his carriage wheels turned from his gates what a loss to country tradesmen may be occasioned by a piece of underdone beef especially if it be boiled. About a foot knight had elapsed since Malevera's meteoric visit to Warlock House when the squire received from his brother the following epistle. My dear Joseph you know my numerous avocations and amid the press of business which surrounds me well I am sure forgive me from what's being a very negligent and remiss correspondent. Nevertheless I assure you no one can more sincerely sympathize in that good fortune which has befallen my charming niece and of which your last letter informed me than I do. Bray give my best love to her and tell her how complacently I look forward to the brilliant sensation she will create when her beauty is enthroned upon that rank which I'm quite sure it will one day or other command. You are not aware perhaps my dear Joseph that I have for some time been in a very weak and declining state of health. The old nervous complaint in my face as of late attacked me grievously and the anguishes sometimes so great that I'm scarcely able to bear it. I believe the great demand which my profession makes upon a frame of body never strong and now beginning prematurely to feel the infirmities of time is the real cause of my maladies. At last however, I must absolutely punish my pocket and indulge my inclinations by a short respite from toil. The doctors sworn friends you know to the lawyers since they make common cause against mankind have peremptorily ordered me to lie by and to try a short course of air exercise social amusements and the waters of that. Fortunately this is vacation time and I can afford to lose a few weeks of a monument in order perhaps to secure many years of life. I propose then early next week repairing to that melancholy reservoir of the gay where a person's dance out of life and are fiddled across the sticks in a word I shall make one of the adventurers after health you seek the goddess that King blood does pump room. Will you and dear Lucy join me there? I ask you to have your friendship and I'm quite sure that neither of you will shrink aghast at the proposal of soliciting your invalid relation. At the same time that I am recovering health my pretty niece will be avenging Pluto by consigning to his dominions many a better and younger hero in my stead and it will be a double pleasure to me to see all the hearts, et cetera. I break off but what can I say on that subject which the little coquette does not anticipate? It is high time that Lucy should see the world and though there are many at bath above all places to whom the heiress will be an object of interested attentions yet there are also many in that crowded city by no means undeserving her notice. What say you dear Joseph? But I know already you will not refuse to keep company with me in my little holiday and Lucy's eyes are already sparkling at the idea of new bonnets, mill some street, a thousand adores and the pomp room ever dear Joseph yours affectionately William Brandon P.S. I find that my friend Lord Malever is at bath. I own that is an additional reason to take me with her by a letter from him received the other day I see that he has paid your visit and he now raves about his host and the heiress. Ah, Miss Lucy, Miss Lucy are you going to conquer him whom all London has for years more than I care to tell yet not many from Malever is still young or sailed in vain answer me. This letter created a considerable excitement in Warlock House the old squire was extremely fond of his brother and grieved to the heart to find that he spoke so discouragingly of his health nor did the squire for a moment hesitate at accepting the proposal to join his distinguished relative at bath. Lucy also who had for her uncle possibly from his profuse yet not in delicate flattery a very great regard and interest though she has seen but little of him urged the squire to lose no time in arranging matters for their departure so as to precede the barrister and prepare everything for his arrival. The father and daughter being thus agreed there was little occasion for delay and answer to the endless letter was sent by return of post and on the fourth day from that receipt of the said epistle the good old squire his daughter a country girl by way of Abigail the gray headed butler and two or three live pets of the size and habits most convenient for traveling were on their way to a city which at that time was gay or at least if somewhat less splendid than the metropolis on the second day of their arrival at bath Brandon as in future to avoid confusion we shall call the younger brother giving to the elder his patriarchal title of squire joined them he was a man seemingly rather found a parade though at heart he dis relished and despised it he came to their lodging which had not been selected in the very best part of the town in a carriage and six but attended only by one favorite servant they found him in better looks and better spirits than they had anticipated few persons when he liked it could be more agreeable than William Brandon but at times they're mixed with his conversation a bitter sarcasm probably a habit acquired in his profession or an occasional tinge of morose and haughty sadness possibly the consequence of his ill health yet his disorder which was somewhat approaching to that painful affliction that tick do lo ho though of fits more rare in occurrence than those of that complaint ordinarily are never seemed even for an instant to operate upon his mood whatever that might be that disease work done seen not a muscle of his face appeared to quiver a smile never vanished from his mouth the blandness of his voice never grew faint as with pain and in the midst of intense torture his resolute and stern mind conquered every external indication nor could the most observant stranger have noted the moment when the fit attacked or released him there was something inscrutable about the man you felt that you took his character upon trust and not on your own knowledge the acquaintance of yours would have left you equally dark as to his vices or his virtues he varied often yet in each variation he was equally undiscoverable was he performing a series of parts or was it the ordinary changes of a man's true temperament that you beheld in him commonly smooth quiet attentive flattering in social intercourse he was known in the Senate and courts of law for a cold asperity and a caustic venom scarcely rivaled even in those arenas of contention it seemed as if the bitterer feelings he checked in private life he delighted to indulge in public yet even there he gave not way to momentary petulists or gushing passion all seemed with him systematic sarcasm or habitual sternness he outraged no form of ceremonial or of society he stung without appearing conscious of the sting and his antagonist writhed not more beneath the torture of his satire than the crushing contempt of his self command cool ready armed and defended on all points sound and knowledge unfailing in observation equally consummate in sophistry when needed by himself and instantaneous in detecting sophistry in another scorning no art however painful begrudging no labor however weighty minute in detail yet not the less comprehending the whole subject in a grasp such was the legal and public character William Brandon had established and such was the fame he joined to the unsullied purity of his moral reputation but to his friends he seemed only the agreeable clever lively and if we may use the phrase innocently the worldly man never affecting a superior sanctity or an over anxiety to forms except upon great occasions and rendering his austerity of manners the more admired because he made it seem so unaccompanied by hypocrisy well said brandon has he sat after dinner alone with his relations and had seen the eyes of his brother clothes in diurnal slumber tell me miss lucy what you think of lord malever do you find him agreeable very too much so indeed too much so that is an uncommon fault lucy unless you mean to insinuate that you find him to agreeable for your peace of mind oh no there is little fear that all that I meant to express was that he seems to make it the sole business of his life to be agreeable and that one imagines he had gained that end by the loss of certain qualities which one would have liked better and what are they truth sincerity independence and honesty of mind my dear lucy it has been the professional study of my life to discover a man's character especially so far as truth is concerned in as short a time as possible but you excel me in intuition if you can tell whether there be sincerity in a courtier's character at the first interview you had with him nevertheless I'm sure my opinion said lucy laughing and I will tell you one instance I observed among a hundred lord malever is rather dead and he imagined in conversation that my father said one thing it was upon a very trifling subject the speech of some member of parliament the lawyer smiled when in reality meant to say another lord malever in the warmest manner in the world chimed in with him appeared thoroughly of his opinion applauded his sentiments and wish the whole country of his mind suddenly my father spoke lord malever bent down his ear and found that the sentiments he had so lauded were exactly those my father the least favored no sooner did he make this discovery than he wheeled round again dexterously and gracefully I allow condemned all that he had before extolled and extolled all that he had before abused and is that all lucy said brandon with a keener sneer on his lip than the occasion warranted why that is what everyone does only some more gravely than others malever in society eye to bar the minister and parliament friend to friend lover to mistress mistress to lover half of us are employed in saying white is black and the other half in swearing that black is white there is only one difference my pretty niece between the clever man and the fool the fool says what is false velvet colors stare in his face and give him the lie but the clever man takes as it were a brush and literally turns the black into white and the white into black before he makes the assertion which is then true the fool changes and is a liar the clever man makes the colors change and is a genius but this is not for your young years yet lucy but i can't see the necessity of seeming to agree with people so lucy simply surely they would be just as well pleased if you differed from them civilly and with respect no lucy said random still sneering to be liked it is not necessary to be anything but compliant lie cheat make every word a snare and every act of forgery but never contradict agree with people and they make a couch for you in their hearts you know the story of dante and the buffoon both were entertained at the court of the vain pettent who called himself prince scalagher the former poorly the latter sensuously how comes it said the buffoon to the poet that i am so rich and you so poor i shall be as rich as you was the stinging and true reply whenever i can find a patron as like myself as prince scalagher is like you yet my bird said lucy caressing the goldfinch which nestled to her bosom are not like me and i love them nay i often think i could love those better who differ from me the most i feel it so in books when for instance i read a novel or a play and you uncle i like almost in proportion to my perceiving and myself nothing in common with you yes the brandon you have in common with me a love for old stories of sir ego and sir rupert and all the other sers of art molded and bygone race so you shall see me the ballad about sir john de brandon and the dragon he slew in the holy land we will adjourn to the drawing room not to disturb your father lucy greed took her uncle's arm repaired to the drawing room and seating herself at the harpsichord sang to an inspiriting yet somewhat rude air the family ballad her uncle had demanded it would have been amusing to note in the rigid face of the hardened and habitual man of peace and parchment a certain enthusiasm whichever and a non-crossed his cheek as the verses of the ballad rested on some illusion to the nightly house of brandon and its old renown it was an early prejudice breaking out despite of himself a flash of character stricken from the hard fossil in which it was embedded one would have supposed that the silliest of all prize for the pride of money the meaner is less senseless family pride was the last weakness which at that time the callous and astute lawyer would have confessed even to himself lucy said brandon as the song ceased and he gazed on his beautiful niece with a certain pride in his aspect i longed to witness your first appearance in the world dislodging my dear is not fit but pardon me what i was about to say is this your father and yourself are here at my invitation and in my house you must dwell you are my guest not my host and hostess i have therefore already directed my servant to secure me a house and provide the necessary establishment and i make no doubt as he is a quick fellow that within three days all will be ready you must then be the magnet of my abode lucy and meanwhile you must explain this to my brother and for you know his jealous hospitality obtain his acquiescence but began lucy but me know but said brandon quickly but with an affectionate tone of wilfulness and now as i feel very much fatigue with my journey you must allow me to seek my own room i will conduct you to it myself said lucy for she was anxious to show her father's brother the care and forethought which he had lavished on her arrangements for his comfort brandon followed her into an apartment which is i knew at a glance have been subjected to that female superintendents which make such uses from what men reject us insignificant and he thanked her with more than his usual amenity for the grace which had presided over and the kindness which had dictated her preparations as soon as he was left alone he wheeled his armchair near the clear bright fire and resting his face upon his hand in the attitude of a man who prepares himself as it were for the indulgence of meditation he muttered yes these women are first what nature makes them and that is good next what use make them and that is evil now could i persuade myself that we ought to be nice as to the use we put these poor puppets to i should drink from enforcing the destiny which i have marked for this girl but that is a pitiful consideration and he is but a silly player who loses his money for the sake of preserving his counters so the young lady must go as another score to the fortunes of william brandon after all who suffers not she she will have wealth rank honor i shall suffer to yield so pretty and pure a gem to the coronet of how i despise that dog but how i could hate crush mangle him could i believe that he despised me could he do so hung no i resolve myself that is impossible well let me hope that matrimonial point will be settled and now let me consider what next step i shall take for myself myself i only myself with me perishes the last male of brandon but the light shall not go out under a bushel as he said this the soliloquist sunk into a more absorbed and silent reverie from which he was disturbed by the entrance of the servant brandon who was never a dreamer save when alone broke it once from his reflections you have obeyed my orders barlow said he yes sir answered the domestic i've taken the best house yet unoccupied and when mrs roberts brandon's housekeeper arrives from london everything will i trust be exactly to your wishes good and you gave my note to lord malever with my own hands sir his lordship will await you at home all tomorrow very well and now barlow see that your room is within call bells though known we're not coming at that day and give out that i'm gone to bed and must not be disturbed what's the hour just on the stroke of tensor place on that table my letter case and the ink stand look in to help me to undress at half past one i shall go to bed at that hour and stay be sure barlow that my brother believes me retired for the night he does not know my habits and will bex himself if he thinks i sit up so late in my present state of health drawing the table with his writing apartment says near to his master the servant left brandon what's more to his thoughts or his occupations end of chapter 13 chapter 14 of paul clifford by edward bulwer litten this libra vox recording is in the public domain chapter 14 servant get away i say with that nasty bell punch do you call this a bell padding it it is an organ servant i say it is a bell a nasty bell punch i say it is an organ striking him with it what do you say it is now servant an organ mr punch the tragical comedy of punch and judy the next morning before lucy and her father had left their apartments brandon who was a remarkably early riser had disturbed the luxurious mall leverer in his first slumber although the courtier possessed a villa some miles from bath he preferred a lodging in the town both as being warmer than a rarely inhabited country house and as being to an indolent man more immediately convenient for the gayities and the waters of the medicinal city as soon as the earl had rubbed his eyes stretched himself and prepared himself for the untimious colloquy brandon poured forth his excuses for the hour he had chosen for a visit mention it not my dear brandon said the good-natured nobleman with the sigh i am glad at any hour to see you and i'm very sure that what you have to communicate is always worth listening to it was only upon public business though of rather a more important description than usual that i ventured to disturb you answered brandon seating himself on a chair by the bedside this morning an hour ago i received by private express a letter from london stating that a new arrangement will positively be made in the cabinet nay naming the very promotions and changes i confess that as my name occurred as also your own in these nominations i was anxious to have the benefit of your necessarily accurate knowledge on the subject as well as of your advice really brandon said malever with a half pv smile any other hour in the day would have done for the business of the nation as the newspapers call that troublesome farce we go through and i had imagined you would not have broken my nightly slumbers except for something of real importance the discovery of a new beauty or the invention of a new dish neither the one nor the other could you have expected from me my dear lord rejoined brandon you know the dry trifles in which a lawyer's life wastes itself away and beauties and dishes have no attraction for us except the former bedams those deserted and the latter patents invaded but my news after all is worth hearing unless you have heard it before not i but i suppose i shall hear it in the course of the day pray heaven i be not sent for to attend some plague of a council begin in the first place lord duberley resolves to resign unless this negotiation for peace be made a cabinet question pasha let him resign i've opposed the peace so long that it is out of the question of course lord one stead will not think of it and he may count on my boroughs a peace shameful disgraceful dastardly proposition but my dear lord my letter says that this unexpected firmness on the part of lord dabbily has produced so great a sensation that seeing the impossibility of forming a durable cabinet without him the king has consented to the negotiation and duberley stays in the devil what next rafting and stern hold go out in favor of baldwin and charlton and in the hope that you will lend your aid to i said lord malever very angrily i lend my aid to baldwin the jackabin and charlton the son of a brewer very true continued brandon but in the hope that you might be persuaded to regard the new arrangements with an indulgent eye you are talked of instead of the duke of you know for the vacant garter and the office of chamberlain you don't mean it cried malever starting from his bed a few other but i hear chiefly legal promotions are to be made among the rest my learned brother the democrat sarsden is to have a silk gown cromwell is to be attorney general and between ourselves they have offered me a judgeship but the garter said malever scares the hearing the rest of the loyal's news the whole object game and ambition of my life how truly kind in the king after all continue the earl laughing and throwing himself back opinions are variable truth is not uniform the times change not we and we must have peace instead of war your maxims are indisputable and the conclusion you come to is excellent said brandon why you and i my dear fellow said the earl who know men and who have lived all our lives in the world must laugh behind the scenes at the cant we wrap in tinsel and send out to stalk across the stage we know that our coriolanus of tori integrity is a corporal kept by a prostitute and the brutus of wig liberty is a lackey turned out of place for stealing the spoons but we must not tell this to the world so brandon you must write me a speech for the next session and be sure it has plenty of general maxims and concludes with my bleeding country the lawyer smiled you can send them to the expulsion of sternhold and rafting for after all that is the question our british vessel as the dirnd metaphor mongers called the state carries the public good safe in the hold like brandy and it is only when fear storm or the devil makes the rogues quarrel among themselves and break up the casks that one gets above a thimbleful at a time we should go on fighting with the rest of the world forever if the ministers had not taken to fight among themselves as for sternhold said the earl to his vulgar dog and voted for economical reform besides i don't know him he may go to the devil for ought i care but rafting must be dealt handsomely with or despite the garter i will fall back among the wigs who after all give tolerable dinners but why my lord must rafting be treated better than his brother recusant because he sent me in the handsomest manner possible a pipe of that wonderful madera which you know i consider the chief grace of my sellers and he gave up a canal navigation bill which would have enriched his whole county when he knew that it would injure my property no brandon curse public can't we know what that is but we are gentlemen and our private friends must not be thrown overboard unless at least we do it in the civilest manner we can fear not said the lawyer you have only to say the word and the cabinet can cook up an embassy to oh hi he and send rafting there with a stipend of five thousand a year ah that's well thought of or we might give him a grant of a hundred thousand acres in one of the colonies or let him buy crown land at a discount of eighty percent so that settled and now my dear friends of brandon i will tell you frankly why i come so early i'm required to give a hasty answer to the proposal i have received namely of the judgeship your opinion a judgeship you a judge what forsake your brilliant career for so petty a dignity you jazzed not at all listen you know how bitterly i have opposed this peace and what hot enemies i've made among the new friends of the administration on the one hand these enemies insist on sacrificing me and on the other if i were to stay in the lower house and speak for what i have before opposed i should forfeit the support of a great portion of my own party hated by one body and mistrusted by the other a seat in the house of common ceases to be an object it is proposed that i should retire on the dignity of a judge with the positive and pledged though secret promise of the first vacancy among the chiefs the place of chief justice or chief baron is indeed the only fair remuneration for my surrender of the gains of my profession and the abandonment of my parliamentary and legal career the title which will of course be attached to it might go at least by an exertion of interest to the eldest son of my niece in case she married a commoner or added he after a pause her second son in case she married a peer ah true said malevolver quickly and as if struck by some sudden thought and your charming niece brandon would be worthy of any honor either to her children or herself you do not know how struck i was with her there's something so graceful in her simplicity and in her manner of smoothing down the little rougassities of warlock house there was so genuine and so easy a dignity that i declare i almost thought myself young again incapable of the self-cheat of believing myself in love but oh brandon imagine me at your brother's board me for whom or the lands are too substantial and who feel when i tread the slightest inequality of the carpets of tournay imagine me dear brandon in a black wane scott room hung round with your ancestors and brown wigs with posies in their buttonhole and immense fire on one side and a thorough draft on the other a huge circle of beef before me smoking like the suvious and twice as large a plateful the plate was pewter is there not a medal so cold of this mingled flame and lava sent under my very nostril and upon pain availed breeding to be dispatched out my proper mouth an old gentleman infested in breeches and worsted stockings by way of a butler filling me a can of ale and your worthy brother asking me if i would not prefer port a lean footman in livery such a livery gods scarlet blue yellow and green a rainbow ill made on the opposite side of the table looking at the lord with eyes and mouth equally open and large enough to swallow me and your excellent brother himself at the head of the table glowing through the mists of the beef like the rising sun in a signpost and then brandon turning from this image behold beside me the fair delicate aristocratic yet simple loveliness of your knees and but you look angry i've offended you it was high time for melevere to ask that question for during the whole of the earl's recital the dark face of his companion had literally burned with rage and here we may observe how generally selfishness which makes the man of the world prevents its possessor by a sort of paradox from being consummately so for melevere occupied by the pleasure he felt at his own wit and never having that magic sympathy with others which creates the incessantly keen observer had not for a moment thought that he was offending to the quick the hidden pride of the lawyer nay so little did he suspect brandon's real weaknesses that he thought him a philosopher who would have laughed alike at principles and people however near to him might be the latter and however important the former mastering by a single effort which restored his cheek to its usual steady hue the outward signs of his displeasure brandon rejoin offend me by no means my dear lord i do not wonder at your painful situation in an old country gentleman's house which has not for centuries offered scenes fit for the presence of so distinguished to guest never i may say since the time when sir charles de brandon entertained elizabeth at warlock and your ancestor you know my old musty studies on those points of obscure antiquity john melevere who was a noted goldsmith of london supplied the plate for the occasion fairly retorted said melevere smiling for though the earl had a great contempt for low birth set on high places in other men he was utterly void of pride in his own family fairly retorted but i never meant anything else but a laugh at your brother's housekeeping a joke surely permitted to a man whose own fastidiousness on these matters is so standing of jest but by heavens brandon to turn from these subjects your niece is the prettiest girl i have seen for 20 years and if she would forget my being the descendant of john melevere the noted goldsmith of london she may be lady melevere as soon as she pleases nay now let us be serious and talk of the judgeships that brandon affecting to treat the proposal as a joke by the soul of sir charles de brandon i'm serious cried the earl and as a proof of it i hope you will let me pay my respects to your niece today not with my offer in my hand yet for it must be a love match on both sides and the earl glancing towards an opposite glass which reflected his attenuated but comely features beneath his velvet nightcap trimmed with meshline laughed half triumphantly as he spoke a sneer just past the lips of brandon and as instantly vanished while melevere continued and as for the judgeship dear brandon i advise you to accept it though you know best and i do think no man will stand a fair chance of the chief justice ship or though it be somewhat unusual for common lawyers why not the wool sack itself as you say the second son of your niece might inherit the dignity of a peerage well i will consider of it favorably said brandon and soon afterwards he left the nobleman to renew his broken repose i can't laugh at that man said melevere to himself as he turned round in his bed though he has much that i should laugh at in another and faith there is one little matter i might well scorn him for if i were not a philosopher tis a pretty girl his niece and with proper instructions might do one credit besides she has 60 000 pounds ready money and faith i have not a shilling for my own pleasure though i have or alas had 50 000 a year for that of my establishment in all probability he will be the lawyer's heiress and he must have made at least as much again as her portion nor is he poor devil a very good life or over if he rise to the peerage and the second son well well it will not be such a bad match for the goldsmith's descendant either with that thought lord melevere fell asleep he rose about noon dressed himself with unusual pains and was just going forth on a visit to miss brandon when he suddenly remembered that her uncle had not mentioned her address or his own he referred to the lawyer's note of the preceding evening no direction was inscribed on it and melevere was forced with much chagrin to forgo for that day the pleasure he had promised himself in truth the wary lawyer who as we have said despise show and outward appearances as much as any man was yet sensible of their effect even in the eyes of a lover and moreover lord melevere was one whose habits of life were calculated to arouse a certain degree of vigilance on points of household pomp even in the most unobservant brandon therefore resolved that lucy should not be visited by her admirer till the removal to their new abode was affected nor was it till the third day from that on which melevere had held with brandon the interview we have recorded that the ear received a note from brandon seemingly turning only on political matters but inscribed with the address and direction in full form melevere answered it in person he found lucy at home and more beautiful than ever and from that day his mind was made up as the mamas say and his visits became constant end of chapter 14 chapter 15 part one of paul clifford by edward bower liton this liberal box recording is in the public domain chapter 15 part one there's a festival where knights and dames and ought that wealth or lofty lineage claims appear to his he how came he dance what does he hear laura there are two charming situations in life for a woman one the first freshness of eras ship and beauty the other youthful widowhood with a large jointure it was at least lucy's fortune to enjoy the first no sooner was she fairly launched into the gay world than she became the object of universal idolatry crowds followed her wherever she moved nothing was talked of or dreamed of toasted or bedded on but lucy brandon even her simplicity and utter ignorance of the arts of fine life enhanced the a-claw of her reputation somehow or other young people of the gentler sex are rarely ill-bred even in their eccentricities and there's often a great deal of grace in inexperience her uncle who accompanied her everywhere himself no slight magnet of attraction viewed her success with a complacent triumph which he suffered no one but her father or herself to detect to the smooth coolness of his manner nothing would have seemed more foreign than pride at the notice gained by a beauty or exaltation at any favor one from the caprices of fashion as for the good old squire one would have imagined him far more the invalid than his brother he was scarcely ever seen for though he went everywhere he was one of those persons who sink into a corner the moment they enter a room whoever discovered him in his retreat held out their hands and exclaimed god bless me you here we have not seen you for this age now and then if in a very dark niche of the room a card table had been placed the worthy gentleman toiled through an obscure rubber then more frequently he sat with his hands clasped and his mouth open counting the number of candles in the room or calculating when that stupid music would be over lord malevolver though a polished and courteous man whose great object was necessarily to ingratiate himself with the father of his intended bride had a horror of being bored which surpassed all other feelings in his mind he could not therefore persuade himself to submit to the melancholy duty of listening to the squire's linked speeches long drawn out he always glided by the honest man's station seemingly in an exceeding hurry with a ah my dear sir how do you do how delighted i am to see you and your incomparable daughter oh there she is pardon me dear sir you see my attraction lucy indeed who never forgot anyone except herself occasionally saw her father's retreat as often as she was able but her engagements were so incessant that she no sooner lost one partner than she was claimed then carried off by another however the squire bore his solitude with tolerable cheerfulness and always declared that he was very well amused although balls and concerts were necessarily a little dull to one who came from a fine old place like warlock manor house and it was not the same thing that pleased young ladies for to them that fiddling and giggling till two o'clock in the morning might be a very pretty way of killing time and their papaz what considerably added to lucy's celebrity was the marked notice and admiration of a man so high in rank and tongue as lord maleverer that person each who still retained much of a youthful mind and temper and who was in his nature more careless than haughty preserved little or no state in his intercourse with the social revelers at bat he cared not whether he went so that he was in the train of the young beauty and the most vestidious nobleman of the English court was seen in every second and third rate set of a great watering place the attendant the flirt and often the ridicule of the daughter of an obscure and almost insignificant country squire despite the honor of so distinguished a lover and despite all the novelties of her situation the pretty head of lucy brandon was as yet however perfectly unturned and as for her heart the only impression that it had ever received was made by that wandering guest of the village rector whom she had never again seen but who yet clung to her imagination invested not only with all the graces which in right of a singularly handsome person he possessed but with those to which he never could advance a claim more dangerous to her peace for the very circumstance of their origin in her fancy not his merits they had now been some little time at bath and brandon's brief respite was pretty nearly expired when a public ball of uncommon and manifold attraction was announced it was to be graced not only by the presence of all the surrounding families but also by that of royalty itself it being an acknowledged fact that people dance much better and eat much more supper when any relation to a king is present i must stay for this ball lucy said brandon who after spending the day with lord malever returned home in a mood more than usually cheerful i must stay for this one ball lucy and witness your complete triumph even though it will be necessary to leave you the very next morning so soon cried lucy so soon echoed the uncle with a smile how good you are to speak thus to an old valetudinarian whose company must have fatigued you to death nay no pretty denials but the great object of my visit to this place is accomplished i've seen you i've witnessed your debut in the great world with i may say more than a father's exaltation and i go back to my dry pursuits with the satisfaction of thinking our old and withered genealogical tree has put forth one blossom worthy of its freshest day uncle said lucy reprovingly and holding up her taper finger with an arch smile mingling with a blush in which the woman's vanity spoke unknown to herself and why that look lucy said brandon because because well no matter you have been bred to that trade in which as you say yourself men tell untruths for others till they lose all truth for themselves but let us talk of you not me are you really well enough to leave us simple and even cool as the words of lucy's question when written up here in her mouth they took so tender so anxious atone that brandon who had no friend nor wife nor child nor anyone in his household in whom interest in his health or welfare was a thing of course and he was consequently wholly unaccustomed to the accent of kindness felt himself of a sudden touched and stricken why indeed lucy said he in a less artificial voice than that in which he usually spoke i should like still to profit by your cares and forget my infirmities and pains in your society but i cannot the tide of events like that of nature waits not our pleasure but we may take our own time for setting sail said lucy i this comes of talking a metaphor rejoin brandon smiling they who begin it always get the worst of it in plain words dear lucy i can give no more time to my own ailments a lawyer cannot play truant in term time without losing a few guineas said lucy interrupting him worse than that his practice and his name better those than health and peace of mind out on you know said brandon quickly and almost fiercely we waste all the greenness and pith of our life in striving to gain a distinguished slavery and when it is gained we must not think that an humble independence would have been better if we ever admit that thought what fools what lavish fools we have been know continued brandon after a momentary pause and in a turn milder and gayer though not less characteristic of a man's stubbornness of will after losing all youth's enjoyments and manhood's leisure in order that in age the mind the all congruent mind should break its way at last into the applauding opinions of men i should be an effeminate idler indeed did i suffer so long as it's jarring parts hold together or so long as i have the power to command its members this weak body to frustrate the labor of its better and nobler portion and command that which it is ordained to serve lucy knew not while she listened half in fear half in admiration to her singular relation that at the very moment he thus spoke his disease was praying upon him in one of its most relentless moves without the power of ringing from him a single outward token of his torture but she wanted nothing to increase her pity and affection for a man who in consequence perhaps of his ordinary surface of worldly and cold properties of temperament never failed to leave an indelible impression on all who had ever seen that temperament broken through by deeper though often by more evil feelings shall you go to lady what's her name's route ask brandon easily sliding back into common topics lord melevere requested me to ask you that depends on you and my father if on me i answer yes said brandon i like hearing melevere especially among persons who do not understand him there is a refined and subtle sarcasm running through the common places of his conversation which cuts the good fools like the invisible sword in the fable that lopped off heads without occasioning the owners any other sensation than a pleasing and self-complacent titillation how immeasurably superior he is in manner and addressed to all we meet here does it not strike you yes no i can't say that it does exactly rejoined lucy is that confusion tender thought brandon in a word continued lucy lord melevere is one whom i think pleasing without fascination and amusing without brilliancy he is evidently accomplished in mind and graceful in manner and with all the most uninteresting person i ever met women have not often thought so said brandon i cannot believe that they can think otherwise a certain expression partaking of scorn played over brandon's hard features it was a noticeable trade in him that while he was most anxious to impress lucy with a favorable opinion of lord melevere he was never quite able to mask a certain satisfaction at any jest at the earl's expense or any opinion derogatory to his general character for pleasing the opposite sex and his satisfaction was no sooner conceived than it was immediately combated by the vexation he felt that lucy did not seem to share his own desire that she should become the wife of the courtier there appeared as if in that respect there was a contest in his mind between interest on one hand and private dislike or contempt on the other you judge women wrongly said brandon ladies never know each other of all persons melevere is best calculated to win them an experience has proved my assertion the proudest lot i know for a woman would be the thorough conquest of lord melevere but it is impossible he may be gallant but he will never be subdued he defies the whole female world and with justice and impunity enough of him sing to me dear lucy the time for the ball approached and lucy who was a charming girl and had nothing of the angel about her was sufficiently fond of gaiety dancing music and admiration to feel her heart beat high at the expectation of the event at last the day itself came brandon dined alone with melevere having made the arrangement that he with the earl was to join his brother and niece at the ball melevere who hated steak except on great occasions when no man displayed it with a better grace never suffered his servants to wait at dinner when he was alone or with one of his peculiar friends the attendance remained without and were summoned at will by a bell laid beside the host the conversation was unrestrained i am perfectly certain brandon said melevere that if you were to live tolerably well you would soon get the better of your nervous complaints it is all poverty of blood believe me some more of the fins a no oh hang your epistemiousness it is darned unfriendly to eat so little talking of fins and friends heaven defend me from ever again forming an intimacy with the pedantic epicure especially if he puns why what has a patent to do with fins i will tell you ah this madir i suggested to lord derville who affects the gourmand what a capital thing a dish all fins tour bows fins might be made capital said he in a rapture dying on it with me tomorrow la la entier said i the next day after indulging in a pleasing reverie all the morning as to the manner in which derville's cook who is not without genius would accomplish the grand idea i betook myself punctually to my engagement would you believe it when the cover was removed the sacrilegious dog of an amphithrion had put into the dish uh sisero's death inhibis there is a work all fins that he atrocious jest exclaimed brandon solemnly was it not whenever the gastronomist set up a religious inquisition i trust they will roast every impious rascal who treats the divine mystery with levity pun upon cooking indeed apopo of derville he is to come into the administration you astonish me said brandon i never heard that i don't know him he has very little power has he any talent yes a very great one acquired though what is it a pretty wife my lord exclaimed brandon abruptly and half rising from his seat a lever looked up hastily and on seeing the expression of his companion's face colored deeply there was a silence for some moments tell me said brandon indifferently helping himself to vegetables for he seldom touched me and a more amusing contrast can scarcely be conceived than that between the earnest epicurism of malever and the careless contempt of the sublime art manifested by his guest tell me you who necessarily know everything whether the government really is settled whether you are to have the garter and i mark the difference the judge ship why so i imagine it will be arranged namely if you will consent to hang up the rogues instead of living by the fools one may unite both return brandon but i believe in general it is vice versa where we live by the rogues and it is only the fools we are able to hang up you ask me if i will take the judge ship i would not know i would rather cut my handle and the lawyer spoke with great bitterness forsake my present career despite all the obstacles that now encumber it did i think that this miserable body would suffer me for two years longer to pursue it you shocked me said malever a little affected but nevertheless applying the cayenne to his cucumber with his usual unearing nicety of tact you shocked me but you are considerably better than you were it is not continued brandon who was rather speaking to himself than to his friend it is not that i am unable to conquer the pain and to master the recreate nerves but i feel myself growing weaker and weaker beneath the continual exertion of my remaining powers and i shall die before i have gained half my objects if i do not leave the labors which are literally tearing me two pieces but said lord malever who was the idlest of men the judge ship is not an easy sinecure no but there is less demand on the mind in that station than in my present one and brandon paused before he continued candidly malever you do not think they will deceive me you do not think they mean to lead me to this political death without writing we serve jam over the hatchman they dare not said malever quaffing his fourth glass of madera well i've decided on my change of life said the lawyer with a slight sigh so have i on my change of opinion chimed in the earl i will tell you what opinions seem to me like what said brandon abstractedly trees answered malever acquaintly if they can be made serviceable by standing don't part with the stick but when they are of that growth that sells well or whenever they shut out a fine prospect cut them down and pack them off by all manner of means and now for the second course i wonder said the earl when our political worthies were again alone whether there ever existed a minister who cared three straws for the people many care for their party but as for country it is all fiddlestick added the lawyer with more significance than grace right it is all fiddlestick as you trust they express it king constitution and church forever which being interpreted means first king or crown influence judges ships and garters secondly constitution or fees to the lawyer places to the statesman laws for the rich and game laws for the poor thirdly church or livings for our younger sons and starvings for their curates ha ha said brandon laughing sardonicly we know human nature and how it may be gold quote the courtier here's a health to your niece and may it not be long before you hail her as your friends bribe etc said brandon with a sneer meant only for his own satisfaction but mark me my dear lord do not be too sure of her she is a singular girl and of more independence than the generality of women she will not think of your rank in station in estimating you she will think only of their owner and pardon me if i suggest to you who know the sex so well one plan that it may not be unadvisable for you to pursue don't let her fancy you entirely hers rouse her jealousy peak her pride let her think you unconquerable and unless she is unlike all women she will want to conquer you the earl smoth i must take my chance that he with a confident tone the hoary coxcomb muttered brandon between his teeth now will his folly spoil all and that reminds me continued malevolent that time wanes and dinner's not over let us not hurry but let us be silent to enjoy the more these truffles in champagne do taste them they would raise the dead the lawyer smiled and accepted the kindness that he left the delicacy untouched the malevolent who so was in his plate saw not the heartless rejection meanwhile the youthful beauty had already entered the theater of pleasure and was now seated with the square at the upper end of the half filled ballroom the gay lady of the fashion at that time and of that half and half rank to which belong the aristocracy of bath one of those curious persons we meet with in the admirable novels of miss bernie as appertaining to the order of fine ladies made the trio with our aris and her father and pointed out to them by name the various characters that entered the apartments she was still in the full title scandal when an unusual sensation was visible in the environs of the door three strangers of marked mean gay dress and an air which though differing in each was in all alike remarkable for a sort of dashing assurance made their entree one was of uncommon height and possessed of an exceedingly fine head of hair another was of more quiet and unpretending aspect but nevertheless he wore upon his face a supercilious yet not ill-humored expression the third was many years younger than his companion strikingly handsome and face and figure altogether of a better taste in dress and possessing a manner that though it had equal ease was not equally noticeable for impudence and swagger who can those be said lucy's team of friend in a wondering tone i never saw them before they must be great people they have all the heirs of persons of quality dear how odd that i should not know them while the good lady who like all good ladies of that stamp thought people of quality had heirs was thus lamenting her ignorance of the newcomers a general whisper about similar import was already circulating around the room who are they and the universal answer was can't tell never saw them before our strangers seen by no means displeased with the evident and immediate impression they have made they stood in the most conspicuous part of the room enjoying among themselves a low conversation frequently broken by fits of laughter tokens we need not add of their super eminently good breeding the handsome figure of the youngest stranger and the simple and seemingly unconscious grace of his attitudes were not however unworthy of the admiration he excited and even as laughter rude as it really was displayed so dazzling a set of teeth and was accompanied by such brilliant eyes that before he had been 10 minutes in the room there was scarcely a young lady under 39 not disposed to fall in love with them end of chapter 15 part 1