 Hello and welcome everybody, you know, one of the big challenges that a lot of women come to me with is they come to me and they're like, you know, they feel like there's something lacking in their sexual life like there's, there's some challenges that they have like they're not really connecting with their guy. You know, I've had some women who have ended up breaking up with men or the man broke up with them because of some of the things that are going on in terms of sex in their bedroom. And so today I wanted to bring on a couple of guests and share some amazing sex secrets that will absolutely drive men wild. And so today I have two special guests with me. It's Celine and Kevin from the Love Lab podcast. And if you haven't checked out their podcast, there's a link. Actually, there should be a link below here or above that shows a link to their YouTube channel where you can check out their podcast. If not, go check out the Love Lab podcast. These two are experts in sex. They actually both, they work with both men, women and couples together. And so it's really cool to have them on here. Celine, you might have seen her before she's actually come on our channel before and work with us and has a bunch of videos on here. Everybody loves her. She's great. Everybody seems to love the way that she says cock. So maybe she'll say that a few times on the on the video here tonight. So thank you guys so much for being here. Awesome, Matt. Thanks for having us. We're super excited. Yeah, thanks for having us on. Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. So cool. Yeah, so we're going to go over, there's five different points that Celine and Kevin want to talk about today. And so let's just jump right into them. So number one is something called Give Him Touch. Do you guys want to talk a little bit about that? All right. Do you want to go first? Well, sure. I mean, from a guy's perspective, so, you know, when we say give him touch, a lot of times people think, oh, go straight for his cock. And while that is perfectly fine and that absolutely works, when I think of wanting a woman to give me touch, it could actually be anywhere. Any form of touch, if she is being affectionate towards me and using touch, it's starting to get me in the mood. I love this. And you're also saying that going to your cock feels pretty good, right? No complaints there. You could start there. Actually, that's a good point you're bringing, Kevin, because starting with the cock is a great place to help a guy be like, feeling okay, like, oh, she's getting there. She's giving my cock attention. I can relax. And then you can start touching him other places too. And one of the things that a lot of women kind of do, they're like, well, but if I touch him, it's going to have to lead to sex. And that's not how you should do things. So you need to retrain yourself, your man, and be like, put some good guidelines around touch and say, touching is awesome. And it doesn't have to always lead to a certain outcome. You can just touch for the sake of connecting, of keeping the arousal. We call this the constant state of arousal, of keeping this alive. And so when you have those, I'm going to call these guidelines in place, it makes it easier to be like, ooh, we're just here to be touchy and just enjoy. It just felt good for a minute, and it doesn't have to go anywhere else. Yeah, I just want to throw something in there because my primary love language is touch. And so I love touch. I love touch in any form. I love hand holding. I love holding. I can sit and lay with my girlfriend forever. I love touching. I love kissing. I love caressing. I just love hugging. Any of that kind of stuff for me is just amazing. And it is arousing. And as a man, I know for myself, at least, I just like when I'm touching a woman, it's just like, you know, I mean, it feels good and it feels arousing and it feels exciting and sexy. So yeah, I actually totally agree with that. I love what you brought there, Matt, with when you touch a woman, you feel good. I always say that a happy woman is like a battery charger for a guy. So if the woman is really happy, she's in her feminine energy in a good place. She vibrates this energy and when a guy touches her, he literally feels recharged. So she doesn't have to do anything but be 100% her beautiful, feminine self and allow some touch for the two of them to benefit from it. So this is a good reframe because a lot of women are like, oh, I have to give him touch. But I think we can also put it as receive touch, as like just give touch, give and take touch right in the relationship. Yeah, absolutely. That's brilliant. And I love the way that you said that. And you know, just to kind of reinforce this idea that Celine was just talking about, you don't even necessarily need to do anything, right? You don't need to give anything. Like a lot of, I get women all the time and they're like, okay, what should I be doing and how should I be doing? And a lot of times it's like, you don't need to do anything, right? The guy's there, right? His masculine instincts start kicking in. He starts touching you. He starts getting aroused. And doing things, believe it or not, sometimes can even kind of repel him if you're doing the wrong things and you don't know what you're doing. And you think, oh, I watched this porn one time. I should be doing this. And then you do some weird thing and the guy's like, oh, God, what are you doing right now? You know, he's totally ends up getting turned off by it. Whereas if you just did nothing, right? You're far more likely to turn him on and for him to move forward and for him to try to do different things. So yeah, I love that point there. You know, I would add too that as guys were relatively simple. In other words, it's pretty hard for the women to go wrong. Yeah, it's possible they could do something really weird that hurts or whatever. But for the most part, if they just touch us, they pretty much can't lose. Absolutely. And I was actually just doing a video the other day where I kind of talked a little bit about touch and I just want to throw one other thing in there since we haven't mentioned it yet. And it's kind of this permission thing, right? When as a woman, if you touch a man, it kind of creates this thing where all of a sudden he has permission to touch you and to start doing other things with you because you initiated that touch. And so a lot of times what happens, especially in this day and age where there's a lot of things going on with like the Me Too movements and a lot of guys are a little bit hesitant to do things around women, especially around touch because they're scared of being called a creep or being accused of being like a, you know, some kind of sexual assaulter or something like that. And so giving him kind of permission by touching him can also be a really powerful thing to do. Yeah, and, you know, always have those kinds of conversations. If this is somebody that you're in relationship with, you should have those kinds of conversations because she might say, hey, every time I touch you, doesn't mean you have to touch me. Or if I touch you in a certain way, that doesn't mean you have to touch me in the same way. Maybe she wants you to touch her in a slightly different way. And these are just conversations you should be having. Yeah, and it's funny that you say that, Kevin. And it's interesting because in my community, I talk about that all the time. We actually talk about it in some of these videos sometimes because we'll get women on here who will ask questions. And by the way, if you have any questions, we're going to go over questions at the end. So if you're confused about anything or if you have any questions about your situation, go ahead and post them in the chat and we'll get to them here in the end. But it's one of those things where it's amazing what just having a conversation about something can just change everything, you know, by just saying, you know what, we'll just talk about it, right? Instead of trying to figure out the clues and look for, you know, hidden signs and stuff, you're just like, you know what, let's talk. Let's talk about something. Let's be transparent. Let's have an open conversation. So that's a really great point. Absolutely. We always say to women, you can't expect a man to be a Jedi mind reader. And I know that we women tend to be like, but I left so many little clues and I insinuated this. I mean, of course I said it in so many ways, he should get it. And one of the things that we always say is that you have to be clear, concise, direct. You can't like wrap this into a 17 word sentence and like different concepts. You have to be very clear and you have to be direct. You can't be like, I kind of said it, but if he was clever, he should know it. That doesn't work. So if you want something, speak up and that's just something we'll talk about more in the later points too. Right. As guys, we love that. Like we give us the rule book. Like we're great at following rules. Like just tell us how to do it and we'll do it. And we'll do it. We love men like that. All right. So let's move on to the second secret here. And this one is called cock worshiping. My favorite. So I'm going to be like pretty blunt here. When I work one on one with clients, you know, and I give them the outlines about the things that I'm going to teach them usually. And I have cock worshiping in there. That's basically when every guy is told is like, why do we sign up to work with you? And so that's how powerful this concept is. Now that concept is also received a little bit differently from the women because they go like really all about his cock. Like does it have to be that? Do I have to do that? And I want to share a concept here that you have to remember that guys are wired a little bit differently. What you want is to have that connection, that intimate connection with your guy. If you want to get there, you go through his cock to his heart. Well, for you as a woman, usually you go to your heart and then that allows you to open up with your pussy and like really get in the mood. For him, it's the opposite. And by the way, these are like guidelines and I'm not saying every woman is like this. Every guy is like this, but they work for a lot of people. And so what does cock worshiping look like? It's about giving his cock attention. Again, it's giving his cock attention with no expectations. If there are any guys listening right now, you have to drop the expectation that she needs to finish you off, make you calm or give you X amount of time of blow jobs or hand jobs or whatever that is. And one really important concept I also want to bring in here before I let you talk, Kevin, is about stopping the boner shaming that goes on. And this is very subtle and not subtle the way women do that. But oftentimes they go like, again, your cock or they laugh or they say like, even between them like, oh, guys, it's all about their penises, you know, and like there's always a little hint of like either shaming or making fun of it. And every time you do that, you're literally like hurting a man. And we have to stop the way we talk about penises, cocks, dicks, whatever we want to call these. We have to stop, and if worshiping is not the word you want to use, but really appreciating and loving them for who they are and loving them through and with their penises. And if we can do that, then it can change our interaction between men and women. Yeah, absolutely. So I didn't know if I wanted to add anything in there. But you know, the real key to making that work is exactly what you said, Celine, which is as a guy, we can't have expectations that every time she touches us, that's automatically going to lead to sex or somehow she has to finish us. And that's one of the big things that we teach in our online courses, too. It's like, you know, again, if there are men listening, man, one of the biggest things that could teach you is to drop those expectations and learn how to move the sexual energy through your body so that if you do that, she'll actually touch your cock more often. And that's the thing is you want to talk about how to drive a man wild, right? Which is the whole point of this conversation. Sex secrets to drive a man wild. If you want to drive him wild, it's that constant stimulation all the time. You walk by him in the kitchen and you grab his cock or you're rubbing his shoulders or all those little things that constant, what we call the constant state of arousal will drive him wild, guaranteed. But it only works if every time there isn't an expectation. Because if there is an expectation, you're not going to do it when you walk by him in the kitchen. Very interesting. Some interesting stuff. It's interesting because we have the two perspectives here and I know some of the women that are listening to this. I get women all the time that are like, hey, I wish that you would work with me and my boyfriend or me and my husband or me and my partner that I'm with. And just to let you guys know, Celine and Kevin, they actually work with partners. And if you're interested in that, I'm throwing up their link below in the video here. And there should also be a link above or below this video that you can go and check out their website. If you're interested in working together as a couple with Celine and Kevin, you should go and check that out for sure. But that's very, very interesting stuff that you guys are talking about here. And just from the guy's perspective as well, one of the things that we talk about in our community is we talk a lot about freedom, right? Giving guys freedom. Well, it's the same way with women a lot of times, right? If you give them freedom to do things instead of trying to make them do stuff all the time, they're far more likely to do something, right? Because they want to and they don't feel like they're being forced to do it anymore. And so suddenly it comes from this place of desire, this place of, I want to please this person. I want to be great to this person. I want to celebrate this person instead of this place of, man, this person's forcing me to do this thing again. And I don't like doing it. And it's this horrible chore. And so, yeah, I mean, that's great information right there. And you know, I'm going to probably speak for a lot of women. I don't know about you or woman listening, but me, every time I get to give him my husband a boner, I feel super powerful. I'm like super powerful sex goddess. And I'm like, oh yeah, this feels really good to me as well. And then there's this whole thing that happens when it's like I gave him a boner, he's got the energy and then he wants me and he chases me. And that whole thing of being chased is really good for me where I go like, oh my gosh, my man wants me. So you're really working with that dynamic of polarity and attraction and playing with that. And that's how you can keep your sexuality alive, especially when you've been together for several years. We've been together for over four years and we still feel attracted. We still want sex with each other. It's still not something that has been put in the back burner because we apply everything that we teach. That's awesome. That's awesome. All right, so let's jump on to sex secret number three. And this one is tease him. So what does this look like guys? Well, I think in tease him, you know, there's always this idea of teasing him means you've got to do something specific at a specific point in time. And what I think of when I think of tease him and when we were writing this list down, what was really in my mind was the little things that she does day in and day out that maybe people don't think of. So it's not just that she's teasing me by giving me a boner. It might just be that in the morning when she's getting dressed, she puts on extra sexy underwear that day and makes sure that I notice that she does that. While he's still in the shower and I come around, I'm like, just to let you know that's what I'm wearing underneath my clothes. Bye bye. Exactly. Lots of little things like that. There's some others on the list, too. You might want to talk about. Well, yeah. I mean, I think what's important here is to find your own flavor of what feels natural and fun for you. And there's a little plethora of things you could do from dirty talking, sexy pictures to like, like doing like, like, I don't know, whatever that is for you that it looks like wherever you want to wear a sexy dress at home for him because we have a tendency to always get dressed really nice when we go out, but not so much for our partners. It's those little things. Find something that you love. What's your signature? Or maybe it's like a perfume that you wear that drives him wild, you know, and explore a little bit outside of the box, you know, it could be easy to be like, hey, I could try. I don't know if I can say the word cock or like use that dirty talking all the time, but maybe I can look at and I know Matt, you've got a lot of things about like texting and things to say, you know, and like, like try some things to see what lens, what works for him. And if you're not sure, sit down with your men and ask him. He's going to tell you, he's going to give you the manual. It's super easy to please him. He'll let you know if you do one, two, three, I'll be happy. And we sometimes think like, oh my God, I have to come up with 37 things to keep him interested. Trust me, the three things that you do over and over will last forever. I still love all the things you do. I don't get tired of them. You know, there's little things too. Like sometimes if I'm out all day long, you'll just send me like a sexy gift or something or, you know, a little text or something. I love it. Makes me look forward to coming home. That's awesome. And I just wanted to throw something in there too and kind of play off of what Celine just said. And it's something that I also hear a lot, right? And it's this idea of kind of figuring out what's going on with your guy in particular as opposed to, you know, like people come to me and they're like, okay, what do I do with a guy, right? Or they'll be like, and I'll give him a bunch of text messages and then I'll hear women and they'll say different things like, you know, I sent him this text message, but, you know, he doesn't want to text. Like, how do I get him to text with me more often than I want him to say he loves me over text and, you know, have these long conversations, you know, and it's like, well, he might not be a texture kind of guy, right? He might be a in person kind of guy who wants to see you and be with you and spend time with you. But over text, he's like an idiot. And so he doesn't, he doesn't want to text. And so it's one of those things, you know, find, find what works with your guy. And, and again, back to the whole conversation thing, like there's nothing that beats, like actually having real conversations and, and talking to somebody about what it is that they actually like and what turns them on and what they, what makes them feel like they're loved and, and cared for and, and appreciated. And so that's that. Absolutely. Totally. And kind of throwing in the, the appreciation thing. Let's move on to sex secret number four, which is appreciate him. How do you guys appreciate him? Okay. Well, first I will just start by saying that this is one of the biggest keys to having a successful relationship with a man. We like to be appreciated. And when we say appreciated, it could literally be like appreciating us for taking out the trash or noticing the little things that we do day in and day out. Like, oh, I, I refilled the, the window washer fluid in your car, you know, when you didn't even ask me to do that. That's all those little things mean a lot to us as men. And they may seem completely insignificant. But just like the criticisms build, right? You think all those little criticisms that you do don't really mean anything. I was just a little thing, but they build, you know, and then resentment happens. But the same thing happens with appreciation. All those little things that you notice about the little things that we do for you or around the house or whatever, they build up and they mean something to us. So pay attention when you appreciate new men. Have you noticed when you start to tell him something you love about him or something he did? Usually he'll start to, his, his chest will puff up. He'll sit straighter. Like it's instant. You see it. And the secret to giving good appreciation is number one is to be genuine. Okay. You can't like manipulate somebody into appreciation. This is the worst thing. So it has to be genuine. And it has to be specific because it's the same. If a guy comes to you and tells you you're beautiful, it kind of goes over your head. You're like, yeah, whatever. You know, I've heard that a million times and what, what is beautiful about me? But if a guy tells you your green eyes sparkle so much today, I'm really making it up. And you're like, oh my gosh, he's seeing me. And so you take this on much better. And so it works the same for a man. If you can appreciate him for specific things. And again, it could be just for his willingness to give you hugs when you're stressed out where you can just let go and melt. It could be for his willingness to always be up for lovemaking. And or like, I have to say, when we both tired, it's always Kevin who does the first move to get us to have sex. Because I always say, I'm not saying no, but I don't have energy to do it. And he's always the one who like does it to makes it happen. And then I'm so excited that he did it. And I'm like, yes. So this is like little things that I can appreciate. I can appreciate the fact that he grooms, he takes good care of his body. I can appreciate things that he does. So it's not just all sexual. It's just about all the little things. And what it requires you to do is to start to pay attention. And that means that the person is feeling seen and appreciated. And I think it's really important to stop this track that most people are on, that they only share the negative things between each other and to do like the reverse, to spend more time appreciating each other. And as we are being like live right now as in the world, we need even more time, like more of this appreciation. We need to focus on the things that we love and appreciate about everyone, including our partners and the world in general. Yeah, absolutely. You guys still there? Sorry, we had a little fluctuation here in the camera thing or maybe the internet connection or something. So yeah, I love, I mean, appreciation is something I talk about all the time and I love it. And I'm so glad that you wanted to talk about it today because it's one of my favorite topics. Not only because men like to be appreciated, but so first off, one thing I wanted to say, and I know that we're going to hear something about this because I hear about it every single time that I talk about this subject. And the thought is, you know, he should be appreciating me, right? Like I appreciate him. I'm not going to, or yeah, that's another one I hear. I'm not going to appreciate him until he appreciates me, right? And all those things. And it's one of those things where I totally firmly believe that you should only be in a situation where somebody, it's a two-way street where somebody cares about you and loves you and gives to you as well. And at the same time, if you want him to start doing those things for you, my suggestion is that you start by doing those things for him and bring that out. And there's a lot of things that will end up happening when you start appreciating him and thanking him and being grateful for him. And one of them is that he will start doing more of the things that you appreciate in him. I talk about this specifically in my Love Frames Toolkit program. But when you start talking, he starts doing things and you start thanking him for that and telling him how it turns you on and how it's so sexy and how it makes you feel so loved and like you're being taken care of and all those things, right? The guy, like Celine said, the guy's like, yeah, you know, and all of a sudden he's like, yeah, I'm taking care of my girl over here, right? And next thing you know, he starts wanting to do those things more and he'll find little times to be in that situation so that he can do those things. And then he'll look over at you and be like, is she excited about it? Is she appreciating it again? And it almost becomes like this thing where he can get addicted to this appreciation that you're giving to him because it feels so good. And a lot of people don't receive appreciation at all in their lives. So this can be a really, really powerful thing where you're connecting with him in ways that he might not get connected with. As long as it is genuine and authentic like Celine was talking about, this can be a way that you really connect with him that he doesn't get connected with by anyone else. Yeah, absolutely. Was there anything else you wanted to say about it, Kevin or Celine? You pretty much covered it all and I would just maybe reiterate that point of you can get into this bad situation when you say, I'm not going to do it until he does it. And the same thing in the other way, if he says the same thing, I'm not going to do it until she does it, then nobody does it, nothing happens. Right? So this idea that, yeah, if she starts appreciating him, she will start to notice that not only will he do more of the things that she's appreciating, but he will then start appreciating her back. It will just happen. And if you sit there and say you're not going to do anything until the other side starts, then nothing's going to happen. And I want to share the game that we play. So if you are one of the women like Matt is talking about, well, I want him to appreciate me more. We play a game where I ask Kevin, tell me three things you love about me. So I literally go and ask him, if I feel like I need appreciation, I literally go and ask him, what that does is, number one, I get my needs met, so I get appreciated. And number two, it makes him feel very powerful as a man because he's providing something that I need. So it actually works for both of us. And this is a game that we give all couples that work with us and we're like, rather than listening to stupid things on the radio when you're driving, tell each other like things that you love. And when I'm really needy, it's like, I say seven things or 17, like I go like really high numbers and it's kind of fun between us to just play with that. And then what's really important is to receive the appreciation, is to just take it in. You don't have to do anything, give anything back, say anything, but thank you and smile. And that's it. Nice, nice. Yeah, I love it. Absolutely love it for sure. Hey, and if you're watching right now and you get what we're talking about, say I get it in the chat. Let us know that you understand what we're talking about. If you don't get what we're talking about in the chat, ask us some questions. What don't you understand? Or if you have any other questions about your situation or something that's going on with you, feel free to ask us any kind of question you want to and we will answer it here in a little bit. All right, so let's move on to number five. So number five, sex secret number five that drives men wild is be sexually confident. So what are we talking about here? Is it, you know, I know a lot of women kind of there's kind of this fear around like confidence and, you know, kind of being like masculine, thinking that it's kind of like this turnoff, but, you know, people talk about it. So what's your viewpoint on this? Well, so I personally love when a woman is sexually confident. I don't so much appreciate when she gets into like super masculine mode or bossy. But the thing is they're really two different things. You can be sexually confident without being masculine. So what do we mean by sexually confident? Well, the fact that she talks about sex, that she brings it up, that she's shows that she's actually interested in wanting or having sex, all of those things that we talked about when we said tease him, those little kind of flirty things. If she actually does those, those are examples of being sexually confident. I mean, if she puts on a really hot pair of panties and then has him sticking out of her pants and she walks by you and makes sure that you see it, that's her being sexually confident. It doesn't mean that she has to come over and grab you, throw you down on the bed, rip your pants off and go straight for your cock. That's not necessarily what we mean by sexually confident. We just mean that she is a sexual being, she owns the fact that she's a sexual being and she shows you that she's a sexual being. Yeah, and so it can show up as two things. The first thing is to tell him what you want sexually. So be specific and it's okay if you like turning red or like feeling embarrassed don't get too childish with it, but just like be okay with asking for what you want and tell him what you want him to do to you. That's really, really hot, right? And you could also tell him what you want to do to him. This is great banter. This is a fantastic thing to do over text, over a voice message or even, you know, while having dinner because you know what dessert is going to be. You know? And so also it's about asking for what you want and this is really important. This is what being sexually confident means. Means that you are in touch with your pleasure and that you ask for it and whether it's like I need to slow down, give me a little bit more foreplay or I want you to touch my entire body. Oh honey this smells so good. I could take this for a little bit longer. Keep caressing me. Ooh slower. Ooh that's it. I love it. Just like that. Keep going. This is being sexually confident and being very specific and it's not that hard, right? So ask for what you want. Get him in positive way. Appreciate when he does it and you're going to keep this energy going. And I think it's also very important for all of the women listening today to know your body. To be sexually confident you have to know what you like and how your body operates. And you cannot just live it to the other person to figure it out. Let me tell you something. Kevin knows my body very well but the other day I was working with a client of mine and I wanted to teach her how to have cervical orgasm and I was like, I want to really explore that again on my own just to really understand the process to break it down for her. So I told Kevin I'm going to be in the bedroom. Don't bother me for an hour. Then you can come and maybe I'll be in the mood for sex and I'm going to be masturbating and exploring. And in doing that I was exploring the inside of my vagina, feeling where my cervix and how I was reacting to things. And even though, I mean I've been doing this for like just about two decades now I already know a lot of things. I still discovered new things about my body. And then when Kevin came upstairs I was already ready all we had to do was to insert him inside me and we had great sex but I started to feel things differently and since then we even able to feel when he's touching my cervix with his penis when like the feelings that stimulated. So what I'm trying to share with you is that just because I took the time to explore my body I was able to guide him even better and it took our sex to even another level. That's awesome. And I just want to kind of pinpoint on something that Celine's talking about so that if you're watching this right now you can kind of go back later and kind of rewatch this and take a look at what Celine was doing there when she was talking about being sexually confident and talking about what she wanted and being in that kind of playful state right. You don't have to be Celine right in the bedroom. You can be you but there's a big difference between like connecting to this playful state this playful place that you're in and having fun with it and enjoying it and talking about it and it's you know it's this dance it's this play you know thing that you're doing with this guy as opposed to kind of this thing where you've got this checklist and you're trying to get him to do this thing and you know he's not doing it and so you're mad about it and you know and you told him once and you told him twice and you know he's still not doing it right it's a totally totally different experience not only for you but also for the guy that you're with and so if you want to do that one of the things that I suggest is that I suggest you spend more time kind of just you know exploring this idea exploring these ideas of playfulness and connection and asking for what you want and all of those kinds of things and one of the ways that you can do it is by going and checking out some more of Celine's work watching some more of her videos listening to her podcast listening to the way that she's talking about things get kind of try to feel some of that energy that she has and kind of pull in some of that energy for yourself and feel where it is for you when you're being playful when you're being connected when you're having fun right and you're doing that with your guy and even if you know things don't go exactly the way that you wanted them to and how you expected them to staying in that state staying connected and staying in play and staying in fun right because like what we talk about love is playful and fun it's not it's not serious it's not expectations it's not force it's not control it's not manipulation it's connection it's it's growing through each other it's it's this playful dance that you guys are having together that's sometimes wild sometimes it's all over the place sometimes it's completely unexpected and that's where you want to be because that's that's where you have more control and you think about it and you're like oh but if he's not doing exactly what I want am I really in control and it's like you're far more likely to be in control because you're not trying to make it through force you're not trying to get him to you know do something by force and so he's more likely to meet you in this in this dance and want to play with you and so yeah is there anything else you guys wanted to say about that well I think you pretty much nailed it I mean what you were describing really is the difference between power versus force right many of you probably read the book or maybe you haven't but the idea of having the power to let something happen or guide something in the direction versus trying to force it to happen yeah absolutely so we're gonna go to question and answer here in a second now and I just want to remind everybody again if you want to go and work with Kevin and Celine you can go to their website and check it out they work with men they work with women they work with couples so you can go check it out see what they're doing see if you're interested in it check out their podcast check out the youtube channel and you can learn more about them again we'll just go over real quick what they talked about the first one was giving him touch the second one was cock worshiping which is a great topic you might want to go back and watch that one again the third one is teasing the fourth one is appreciating him and the fifth one is being sexually confident so we're gonna jump in and just see what people are saying in the chat right now and see what's going on over here see what people have to say so Sue says hi how are you hope you're doing okay from Sue well thank you Sue you know I'm doing great you guys doing great over there we're doing good we're having good sex we're spending a lot of time at home and we're you know focusing on appreciating each other and every inch of each other nice that's awesome that's what I like to hear that's what I like to hear let's see what else somebody has to say so Angel says what if he doesn't touch you what should a woman do ooh well it's a good question and number one that comes to me is have you created bad habits meaning has he tried to touch you and you've reacted a certain way being like don't do that or I don't like it or no or like just like not really received he's touched which then could have made it that he was like no I don't want to do that anymore because it's not welcome so that's one thing so maybe you have to go back to the beginning of your relationship and noticing that that you created this behavior by your own response to his yeah I would say to that you know there are multiple love languages and sometimes what happens is if touch isn't his love language he may not think about the fact that it is your love language and if you haven't communicated to him that touch is your love language he might not actually be doing it because we tend to do the things that we like right if we don't know better so that's another possibility that's that's exactly where I was going to go so then just simply bring it up and say not as a campaign but as a you know what I really love is when you touch me and it's like let me show you or it could be like a show and tell let me show you how I like to be touched or like playfulness bring playfulness into this make a request and make it fun for him to be willing to do that hmm I also want to bring one other thing up there which it there's also a possibility of there being like trauma or something in his past around touch or people using touch to manipulate or something like that and so so there could be a whole bunch of different things there right and and like what Selene and Kevin were talking about the best thing in my opinion that you could do is just start bringing it up or talking about it or you know doing the thing that we were talking about earlier which is kind of the giving permission thing right so if you're if you're over there and you touch his hand and you know you touches or you know if you're you guys are more intimate than that and you like come up and touches inner thigh or something like that and just you know rub your hand across his inner thigh or come over and you know sweep your hand across or something or put your hand on his chest right those those things could can be signals for guys right that that they that it's you know this is okay that it's it's something that he can do that it's something that you want that it's something that you know and and there's a technique that I talk about in the forever woman gold program that I have where it's it's like a one step forward one step back right and it's kind of like this tease process where you you move forward and then you pull back right where you go and touch and then you kind of pull back and then you go and touch and then you pull back and basically you're kind of like teasing him and giving him permission and almost challenging him in a way to start touching you right and so you can try a whole bunch of different things you know you can also try you know like what we're talking about appreciating him for touch or even if it's like accidental touch right you can do that right like you accidentally rub up you against each other because maybe you accidentally rubbed up against him and you you know tell him that it was you know attractive or sexy or whatever right and there's just different ways that you can kind of play with it and see what's going on and have a conversation with him about it and just you know like learn about him and what's going on with him and all that kind of stuff and letting him know that it's something that that you're interested in that you appreciate that you want more of and so yeah did you guys want to say anything else about that? No, I think you don't. Alright, so KD says my fiance hasn't had sex with me in three years ugh what do you guys think about that? I've heard this a lot I actually one of people in my family, my brother, I have a brother who is married and he came to me a little while ago and was like I haven't had sex with my wife in two years like what do you think and I'm just curious what do you guys think about that? Okay well so this there are a lot of things that could potentially be the cause of this and it's really hard to say without knowing more about the dynamics of your relationship um yeah I mean where do we even start with that one? Well I think honestly it's you're going to need outside help it's like trying to figure it out on your own hasn't worked obviously you haven't had sex in three years there's something else going on bringing in somebody who can be more of a neutral ground and can help you be heard and understand each other um and there are I mean there there is something is underneath and it needs to be brought up so that it can be healed and that you can create the connection again but honestly I think it's too difficult to do that by yourself even like if you were to read something in the magazine the advices are not good enough this needs to be a slow process where you focus on the connection but you also give him the tools what if he had a lot of self confidence issue and it's all things that somebody else can help you guys bring into the light and and build confidence around again. Yeah and you know it it may have something to do with you and it may not. Absolutely. In fact we've seen clients where the guy doesn't initiate because he's self conscious because he can't last long enough or he can't get in a reaction there's there are so many potential reasons for this that you like Celine said it would really be worth working with somebody that can start to dive in and dissect the dynamic that's happening between both of you. Interesting. Yeah and I just want to throw in there again to you know if if you do have a conversation with him about it it's all it can be really powerful to go and get some help right and just to talk to somebody about it if you're having a problem and you think maybe Celine and Kevin can help you out you know go check out their website go talk to him about it see if this is something that maybe you guys can it can work with together if it's something that that he's interested in working with you know a lot of times when you know kind of like what they were a lot of times guys can have shame around this you know and it's like if you are if there's something weird going on with you as a guy if you have anxiety if you're stressed out if you know there's some reason you can't perform for a lot of guys it's like it's like you've taken his manhood away and so suddenly suddenly he's feeling shame he's feeling like you know he doesn't want to talk about it he doesn't want to do any of these things and so it can be a really challenging difficult situation but to deal with and so it can be really powerful to to get some help into for somebody to look at your specific situation to help you figure out exactly what's going on there and different ways to kind of approach it and so that's what I have to say about that so let's see what else we have to say so Ali says I'm not a prude however the brash language is a different definite turn off I am naturally playful and love to laugh I look at sexual component of a relationship as an added gift from God when the con when in the confines of marriage yeah and you know I hear that a lot and you know everybody is different if that's what you want to do that's awesome you know like more power to you there's plenty of people we had a person on this channel a little while back Patrick where he was talking about we were talking about things that repel and if you're you know he's super Christian he's no sex before marriage kind of guy and so there's plenty of that kind of stuff out there and it's not a big deal right whatever works for you in the confines of what works for your relationship that's what you know so yeah I mean I don't know I actually also think that I want to bring it back to the communication piece of like asking what turns you on and what doesn't it's very important to be like I don't like crude language okay fine and then just let your partner know these are the words that if you say the word pussy I shut down but if you say the word yoni all the sudden I want to make love with you fine just let the person know it's just a word so like communicate don't make a big deal it's all about finding what works and finding somebody who wants the same things and you do don't try to make somebody like if they like oranges don't try to force them to like apples just find somebody who likes an apple you're going to be like much happier in your relationship yeah absolutely totally agree totally agree and that was a great point Celine and good job for catching that one because it it kind of slipped by me a little bit so let's see what else do we have here let's see we have anonymous facebook user says I get it their advice is great I agree with that Kelly says I get it great advice yep awesome awesome Joanna says what a wonderful couple I love them awww thank you Joanna so Pam says I keep meeting men that don't know what it means to respect a woman wants to talk about sex within a week of knowing them not cool to me what should I do okay so this is something actually we hear about from a lot of women where they say and it's not always so much that they keep meeting men that don't know how to respect but what you'll hear from them a lot is I keep meeting a man who always wants to do this or I keep meeting a man that always wants to do that they start to see these patterns and the first thing that I would say is that if you keep attracting the same type of man all the time you kind of need to go inside and look at the patterns that you're doing and you're attracting that sort of man all the time there can be a lot of reasons why for instance we have a good friend who has had a pattern I won't go deep into what the pattern is but she's had a pattern her whole life and we'd notice the pattern and we'd even talk to her about the pattern just as friends and then one day she opens up to us about her family and what her background growing up was like with her mom and it turns out her mom has the exact same pattern with men that she has so she has taken on the pattern that she watched her mom have throughout her whole life and so if you're seeing a pattern of always attracting the same type of guy look at the types of things that you're doing and see if that has something to do with it absolutely and I think like I want to go back to the no-shaming I mean guys will talk about sex relax it's just sex and if you're good at setting boundaries it's not a biggie you've got to be able to be like this is what I'm open to or I'm willing to be intimate, not intimate but it's just talking about sex it's like this is how the world is created so chill out it's just sex or if you're really super conservative and it's something that's a big deal then start dating people that are Christian conservative who won't talk about it and won't have sex until they're married just choose the right pool of people and then I also want to say like I want to ask you the question how do you respect yourself like what do you do because if it's all the same men that are mirroring the same thing I want to turn that question around and are you respecting yourself and if not maybe it's time that you don't go to that bar or start to take this new painting class or go to bed sooner like all of these things that mean that you respect and love yourself more and raise your own value and self-love you will attract different kind of men yeah so there's another kind of comment on here from Cindy who's saying hoping to find a man who isn't a sex hound and I get questions about this all the time and I hear women talk about this all the time and it's one of those things where one from one standpoint like what Celine was talking about the I think the video is backwards or something but what Celine was talking about over here is you know it's one of those things like it's a natural thing right everybody has sex right that's why you're on this planet is because somebody had sex and then you were born and so it's a natural normal thing that everybody has and so it's one of those things and as a guy what a huge just so you know if you don't know this let me inform you about it just so you know one of the men's biggest frustrations and fears and I taught in the men's dating industry as well is that is that they're gonna get put in the friend zone right and there are men who I mean it's like they give their lives to women and then they get put into the friend zone and it's like this you know I mean they spend years thinking they're dating this woman and doing all this stuff with a woman and the woman's like no he's just a friend and then he like tries to make some kind of move and she's like it actually just happened to a friend of mine not too long ago who was talking about this guy who is her best friend and they were hanging out all the time and then you know it had been a couple of years and all of a sudden he like put his hand on her leg and she was like what are you doing right and he was like he kept doing it and she was like stop it and he tried to like make some other moves and he's like don't you know that I love you right and she was like you know it's one of those things right like this is what happens with a lot of guys is they are pursuing women and they get stuck in the friend zone and so you know not to make excuses about anything right I'm not here to like justify any kind of men's behavior or any of that kind of stuff but most guys would rather get rejected would rather throw the sex thing out there and make sure that you're kind of on a similar page with them around sex and get rejected and no quicker that it's not happening then spend days, weeks you know hundreds of dollars on meals and driving and all of these different things that might happen with going on dates only to find out that you're not even really that interested in him and so it's one of those things like yeah what Selene was talking about is having boundaries right having boundaries and respecting yourself and just putting it up there right and one of the ways that I talk about boundaries is talking about what it is that you want right like yeah that's you know I love sex too and it's something that I'm very interested in but I need to get to know a guy a lot better first before you know I'm even comfortable talking about that kind of a thing how about we just you know meet up and chat instead of doing this or if it's a total turn off you know and you're just totally you know completely triggered by it it's you know that's fine too you don't have to meet up with them right and so and like what Selene was talking about if you want to you know date certain types of people you can kind of put yourself into situations where you're dating different types of people then guys that are going to say you know sexual things right up front where so yeah did you guys want to say anything about that well I would just say also I would add like where are you meeting these people for instance I know from friends of ours and even clients that we work with that certain dating apps the people that are on there that's pretty much all they're looking for and so if that's your go to place to try to get dates and try to meet people then sure you're going to meet a lot of people who are looking for that specifically so just look where is it that you're going to try to meet people you know if you're going to the Sunday church picnic the chances are a lot less likely if you're on bumble the chances are real high so look at how is it that you're meeting people because that can influence it as well and also want to say I really want to change things around like there are a lot of really good men out there women need to start to focus on all the good guys there are a lot of them so start looking for good role models start looking for people who show up for men who do great things and start to focus not on all the men who don't respect you because that's true I mean we're like billions of people on on earth there are assholes that let's be real but focus there are a lot of good guys so start talking about them start surrounding yourself with men that you love that you appreciate that you would respect and that's also going to start to change your radar you know how it goes when you you want to buy a new car and all of a sudden when you start driving you see that everybody is driving the car you want to buy well guess what it's the same with guys if you start to change how you talk about men and how you see them you suddenly going to see a lot more good guys good men respectful men because trust me they are out there I see them all the time yeah absolutely that is absolutely true and it's interesting because we actually had this conversation in our community real recently and and I was I applauded somebody who was actually saying something about this and you know people are kind of getting triggered about it but it's true right like if you're looking for men to be bad you're going to see men to be bad right our beliefs they manifest in our world not because it's the reality in the world but because it's the filter it's the lens that we see the world through and so you'll start to find men being liars and cheaters and pigs and cowards and all the other horrible objectifying labels that you call men if that's the way that you believe right if that's your belief system if that's what you focus on all the time that's what you're going to experience so absolutely great point there Celine so join us as Cindy Lou why that's no fun I love it when I can't keep my hands off a guy like that we love it too hahaha okay so Jody says what if he has had performance issues in the past so stopped initiating because he can't get past those issues how do I help him okay that is a great question and we actually touched on that with one of the other questions is one of the possible reasons why he might not be initiating the biggest thing is don't shame him or make him wrong for it so now the tricky thing is I'm going to let Celine talk about this is how she can encourage him to seek the help that he actually needs to fix that because it is fixable but the first thing that women need to know is don't make him wrong for it don't give him a hard time about it be very empathetic understanding don't pressure him and then see if you can find a way to help him help guide him in the right direction it's always a little tricky to guide your man you know because it's easy then to fall into a dynamic that's not very romantic so often time I will say hey get an outside help I also want to say we have online courses for men that are specifically for these problems to help them solve those problems so like that's something he can do on his own if he wants to but what can you do is ultimately when you are falling around and let's say he doesn't get an erection find other ways to not just stop and be like oh it doesn't matter and turn around and stop the pleasure like bring in a dildo have him go down on you masturbate like whatever that is start to bring more fun rather than focusing on the problem I'm not saying don't say there's no problem but don't let it stop you from connecting physically but be creative because sex is not just penetration I mean there's a lot of options to have sexual connections sexual energy and penis and vagina is only one way okay and don't limit yourself to just that the the only thing is it's a tricky thing he needs to want to do something because a lot has to do with his mindset and a lot of men get stuck in this anxiety wheel and it's like it's I see this all the time I work with over a thousand men by now and it's something that I see all the time and unless he's willing to really step it up and be like okay what am I doing wrong how can I change that you're not going to be able to change it so focus on still touching each other still connecting still making some sexuality some form of it and encourage him to find support and help and ask him what would help you maybe give him a little bit more time maybe he needs you to give him a hand job for longer maybe you need to play with using a cock ring and you know be honest with him a lot of women also say hope it doesn't matter yes it does matter say yeah it sucks but I still love you let's brainstorm how we can make this work for us like this is the kind of approach you need to do don't let him all alone in there because he's going to spiral into this like anxiety thing but like create a safe space for him to start to move through that and it's fixable it's absolutely fixable there's no reason why he has to suffer with it you have to suffer with it it is totally fixable yeah so and just we're kind of on that note because we're kind of at the top of the hour here I just want to say if you want to work with Selene and Kevin you want to contact them you know talk to them about what's going on with your issues and see if you guys are right fit or not you know make sure that you go to Selene's website at SeleneRebbi.com forward slash synergy there should be a link above or below if not there you can go to SeleneRebbi.com forward slash synergy and so check out their stuff and I just want to thank you guys thank you Selene and Kevin for for being on this show with us today I really appreciate it I'm sure everybody that's talked in the comments here that so far they say that they love you guys so I really appreciate you guys being here I love having you guys on actually that was this was a great talk and it was really really interesting for me so so thank you so much for being here a pleasure this was a lot of fun and there's still so much more we can cover and this is just the beginning I want to say as a takeaway for everyone remember sex is easy natural beautiful and there's ways to make it better so seek help and just have fun in the process absolutely absolutely definitely have fun in the process thank you so much for having us on that we appreciate it yeah absolutely and if you want to check out their podcast go to go check out the love lab podcast you can check them out they've got tons of audios and videos and stuff you can check out Selene's youtube channel and so I just want to thank everybody who's here with us watching right now all the women that are in our community you are we have some of the most amazing beautiful intelligent awesome women in the world who are a part of our community so thank you so much I feel so blessed to have for you to come and trust me to be a part of your journey in creating the relationship that you've always wanted to have so thank you so much everybody for being here today and we will speak with you again soon and always remember you are worth it talk to you soon guys