 Chapter 20 Part 2 of Belinda This is a LibriVox recording, all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Reading by Lars Rolander Belinda by Maria Edgeworth Chapter 20 Part 2 Reconciliation Then Miss Portman gave Lady Delacour a simple but full account of all that had passed at Oakley Park, relative to Mr. Vincent. She repeated the arguments by which Lady Anne Percival had first prevailed upon her to admit of Mr. Vincent's addresses. She said that she had been convinced by Mr. Percival that the omnipotence of a first love was an idea founded in error and realized only in romance, and that to believe that none could be happy in marriage except with the first object of their fancy or their affections, would be an error pernicious to individuals and to society. When she detailed the arguments used by Mr. Percival on this subject, Lady Delacour sighed and observed that Mr. Percival was certainly right, judging from his own experience, to declaim against the folly of first loves. And for the same reason, added she, perhaps I may be pardoned if I retain some prejudice in their favor. She turned aside her head to hide a starting tear, and here the conversation dropped. Belinda, recollecting the circumstances of her ladyship's early history, reproached herself for having touched on this tender subject. Yet at the same time she felt with increased force, at this moment, the justice of Mr. Percival's observations. For evidently the hold which this prejudice had kept in Lady Delacour's mind had materially injured her happiness, by making her neglect after her marriage all the means of content that were in her reach. Her incessant comparisons between her first love and her husband excited perpetual contempt and disgust in her mind for her wedded love, and for many years precluded all perception of his good qualities, all desire to live with him upon good terms, and all idea of securing that share of domestic happiness, that was actually in her power. Belinda resolved at some future moment, whenever she could, with propriety and with the effect, to suggest these reflections to Lady Delacour. And in the meantime she was determined to turn them to her own advantage. She perceived that she should have need of all her steadiness to preserve her judgment unbiased by her ladyship's wit and persuasive eloquence on the one hand, and on the other by her own high opinion of Lady Ann Percival's judgment, and the anxious desire she felt to secure her approbation. The letters from Clarence Herway she read at night, when she retired to her own room, and they certainly raised not only Belinda's opinion of his talents, but her esteem for his character. She saw that he had with great adress made use of the influence he possessed of her Lady Delacour, to turn her mind to everything that could make her amable, estimable, and happy. She saw that Clarence, so far from attempting for the sake of his own vanity, to retain his preeminence in her ladyship's imagination, used on the contrary his utmost skill to turn the tide of her affections toward her husband and her daughter. In one of his letters, and but in one, he mentioned Belinda. He expressed great regret in hearing from Lady Delacour that her friend, Miss Portman, was no longer with her. He expatriated on the inestimable advantages and happiness of having such a friend. But this referred to Lady Delacour, not to himself. There was an air of much respect and some embarrassment in all he said of Belinda, but nothing like love. A few words at the end of this paragraph were cautiously obliterated, however, and without any obvious link of connection. The writer began a new sentence with a general reflection upon the folly and imprudence of forming romantic projects. Then he enumerated some of the various schemes he had formed in his early youth, and humorously recounted how they had failed, or how they had been abandoned. Afterward, changing his tone from playful wit to serious philosophy, he observed the changes which these experiments had made in his own character. My friend Dr. X said he divides mankind into three classes, those who learn from the experience of others, they are happy men, those who learn from their own experience, they are wise men, and lastly those who learn neither from their own nor from other people's experience, they are fools. This class is by far the largest. I am content, continued clearance, to be in the middle class, perhaps you will say because I cannot be in the first. However, were it in my power to choose my own character, I should forgive me the seeming vanity of the speech, still be content to remain in my present station upon this principle. The characters of those who are taught by their own experience must be progressive in knowledge and virtue. Those who learn from the experience of others may become stationary, because they must depend for their progress on the experiments that we brave volunteers, at whose expense they are to live and learn, are pleased to try. There may be much safety in thus snugly fighting or rather seeing the battle of life behind the broad shield of a stouter warrior, yet it seems to me to be rather an ignominious than an enviable situation. Our friend Dr. X would laugh at my insisting upon being amongst the class of learners by their own experience. He would ask me whether it be the ultimate end of my philosophy to try experiments or to be happy. And what answer should I make? I have none ready. Common sense stares me in the face and my feelings, even at this instant, alas, confute my system. I shall pay too dear yet for some of my experiments. Sois grand homme, et sois malheureux, is I am afraid the law of nature, or rather the decree of the world. Your ladyship will not read this without a smile, for you will immediately infer that I think myself a great man. And as I detest hypocrisy yet more than vanity, I shall not deny the charge. At all events I feel that I am at present, however gaily I talk of it, in as fair a way to be unhappy for life, as if I were in good earnest the greatest man in Europe. Your ladyship's most respectful admirer and sincere friend, Clarence Harvey. P.S. I hope that your friend Miss Portman may spend the winter in town. Though Lady de la Cour had been much fatigued by the exertion of her spirits during the day, she sat up at night to write to Mr. Harvey. Her love and gratitude to Miss Portman interested her most warmly for her happiness, and she was persuaded that the most effectual way to secure it would be to promote her union with her first love. Lady de la Cour who had also the best opinion of Clarence Harvey and the most sincere friendship for him, thought she was likewise acting highly for his interest, and she felt that she had some merit in at once parting with him from the train of her admirers, and urging him to become a dull married man. Besides these generous motives, she was perhaps a little influenced by jealousy of the superior power, which Lady Anne Percival had in so short a time acquired over Belinda's mind. Strange thought she, if love and I be not a match for Lady Anne Percival and reason. To do Lady de la Cour justice, it must be observed that she took the utmost care in her letter not to commit her friend. She wrote with all the delicate address of which she was mistressed. She began by rallying her correspondent on his indulging himself so charmingly in the melancholy of genius, and she prescribed a cure to her malheureux imaginaire, as she called him, those joys of domestic life which is so well-knew how to paint. Précepte commence Exemple-Achève, said her Ladyship. You will never see me la Vem comme il y en a peu, till I see you le bon mari. Belinda Portman has this day returned to me from Oakley Park, fresh, blooming, wise, and gay as country air, flattery, philosophy, and love can make her. It seems that she has had full employment for her head and heart. Mr. Percival and Lady Anne, by right of science and reason, have taken possession of the head, and Mr. Vinson, their sedevant-board, and declared favorite, has laid close seek to the heart, of which he is in a fair way, I think, to take possession, by the right of conquest. As far as I can understand, for I have not yet seen Le Futur, he deserves my Belinda, for besides being as handsome as any hero of romance, ancient or modern, he has a soul in which neither spot nor blemish can be found, except the amable weakness of being desperately in love. Her weakness which we, ladies, are apt to prefer to the most philosophic stoicism, apropos philosophy. We may presume that notwithstanding Mr. V is a Creole. He has been bred up by his guardian in the class of men who learn by the experience of others. As such, according to your system, he has a right to expect to be a happy man, has not he? According to Mrs. Stanhope's system, I am sure that he has, for his thousands and tens of thousands, as I am credibly informed, passed the comprehension of the numeration table. But these will weigh not a grain in the estimation of a truly disinterested and noble-minded niece. Mrs. Stanhope knows nothing of Mr. Vinson's proposals, and it is well for him she does not, for her wordly good word would mar the whole. Not so as to Lady Anne and Mr. Percival's approbation. Their opinion is all in all with my friend. How they have contributed, I know not, but they have gained over Belinda's mind a degree of power almost equal to parental authority. So you may guess that the doubtful beam will not much longer nod from side to side. Indeed, it seems to me scarcely necessary to throw in the sword of authority to turn the scale. If you can persuade yourself to finish your picturesque tour before the edus of the charming month of November, do my dear Clarence, make haste and come back to us in time for Belinda's wedding, and do not forget my commission about the dorsetry angel. Bring me one in your right hand with a gold ring upon her taper finger. So help you cupid, or never more expect a smile. From your sincere friend and admirer, T. C. H. Delacour. P. S. Observe my good sir that I am not in such a desperate hurry to congratulate you on your marriage that I should be satisfied with an ordinary Mrs. Harvey. So do not under pretence of obliging me, or for any other consideration, joke yourself to some damsel that you will be ashamed to produce. For one woman worthy to be Clarence Harvey's wife, I have seen at a moderate computation a hundred feet to be his mistress. If he should on this subject mistake the fitness of things or of persons, he would indeed be in a fair way to be unhappy for life. The substance of a lady's letter it has been said always is comprised in the post script. After Lady Delacour had finished this letter, which she had no doubt would bring Clarence immediately to town, she left it with Marriott with orders to have it sent by the next post. Much factigued she then retired to rest and was not visible the next day till near dinner time. When Miss Portman returned the packet of Mr. Harvey's letters, her ladyship was dissatisfied with the measured terms of Belinda's approbation, and she said with a sarcastic smile. So they have made a complete philosopher of you at Oakley Park? You are perfect in the first lesson, not to admire, and is the torch of Cupid to be extinguished on the altar of reason? Rather to be lighted there if possible, said Belinda, and she endeavored to turn the conversation to what she thought must be more immediately interesting to Lady Delacour, her own health. She assured her with perfect truth that she was at present more intent upon her situation than upon Cupid or his torch. I believe you, my generous Belinda, said Lady Delacour, and for that very reason I am interested in your affairs. I am afraid even to the virtue of impertinence. May I ask why this Prue Chevalier of yours did not attend you or follow you to town? Mr. Vincent? He knew that I came to attend your ladyship. I told him that you had been confined by a nervous fever, and that it would be impossible for me to see him at present, but I promised when you could spare me to return to Oakley Park. Lady Delacour sighed and opened Clarence Harvey's letters one after another, looking over them without seeming well to know what she was about. Lord Delacour came into the room whilst these letters were still in her hand. He had been absent since the preceding morning, and he now seemed as if he were just come home, much fatigued. He began in a tone of great anxiety to inquire after Lady Delacour's health. She was peaked at his having left home at such a time, and merely bowing her head to him she went on reading. His eyes glanced upon the letters which she held in her hand, and when he saw the well-known writing of Clarence Harvey, his manner immediately altered, and stammering out some commonplace phrases, he threw himself into an armchair by the fireside, protesting that he was tired to death, that he was half dead, that he had been in a post-chess for three hours which he hated, had ridden fifty miles since yesterday, and he muttered that he was a fool for his pains. An observation which though it reached her ladyship's ears, she did not think proper to contradict. His lordship had then recourse to his watch, his never-failing friend in need, which he always pulled out with a particular jerk when he was fixed. It is time for me to be gone. I shall be late at studless. You dine with his lordship, then? said Lady Delacour in a careless tone. Yes, and his good burgundy, I hope, will wind me up again, said he, stretching himself, for I am quite down. Quite down? Then we may conclude that my friend Mrs. Lactridge is not yet come to ranty pole. Ranty pole, my dear, continued Lady Delacour, turning to Miss Portman, is the name of Harriet Freak's villa in Kent. However strange it may sound to your ears and mine, I can assure you the name has made fortune amongst a certain description of wits, and candour must allow that, if not elegant, it is appropriate. It gives a just idea of the manners and way of life of the place, for everything at ranty pole is ranty pole. But I am really concerned, my lord, you should have ridden yourself down in this way for nothing. Why did not you get better intelligence before you set out? I am afraid you fee the loss of champhor. Why did you not contreet to learn for certain, my dear good lord, whether the Lactridge was at ranty pole before you set out on this wild goose chase? My dear good lady, replied Lord Delacour, assuming a degree of spirit which startled her as much as it became him. Why do you not get better intelligence before you suspect me of being a brute and a liar? Did not I promise you yesterday that I would break with the Lactridge, as you call her? And how could you imagine that the instant afterwards, just at the time I was wrung to the soul, as you know I was? How could you imagine I would leave you to go to ranty pole or to any woman upon earth? Oh, my lord, I beg your pardon! I beg your pardon a thousand times! cried Lady Delacour, rising with much emotion, and going towards him with a sudden impulse, she kissed his forehead. And so you ought to beg my pardon, said Lord Delacour, in a faltering voice, but without moving his posture. You will acknowledge you left me, however, my lord, that is clear. Left you? Yes, so I did, to ride all over the country in search of a house that would suit you. For what else did you think I could leave you at such a time as this? Lady Delacour again stooped and leaned her arm upon his shoulder. I wish to heaven my dear, said his lordship, shrinking as he put away her hand, which still held Clarence Harvey's letters. Left to heaven, my dear, you would not hold those abominable perfume papers just under my very nose. You know I cannot stand perfumes. Are they perfumed? Ah, so everything is that I keep in that cabinet of curiosities. Thank you, my dear Miss Portman, said her ladyship, as Belinda rose, to take the letters from her hand. Will you have the goodness to put them back into their cabinet, if you can endure to touch them, the perfume has not overcome you as well as my lord. After all, it's only utter of roses to which few people's olfactory nerves have an antipathy. I have the honor to be one of the few, said his lordship, rising from his seat, with so sudden emotion as to displace Lady Delacour's arm, which leaned upon him. For my part, continued he taking down one of the argon lamps from the chimney piece and trimming it. He would rather a hundred to one snuff up the oil of this cursed lamp. Whilst his lordship applied himself to trimming the lamp with great earnestness, Lady Delacour negligently walked away to the farthest end of the room, where stood the cabinet which Belinda was trying to unlock. Stay, my love, it has a secret lock which I alone can manage. Oh, my dear Lady Delacour!" whispered Belinda, holding her hands as she gave her the key. I never can love or esteem you if you use Lord Delacour ill now. Ill now? Ill now? This lock is spoiled, I do believe, said she aloud. Nay, you understand me, Lady Delacour. You see what is passing in his mind. To be sure, I'm not a fool, though he is. I see he is jealous, though he has had such damning proof that all's right. The man's a fool, that's all. Are you sure this is the key I gave you, my dear? And can you think him a fool, pursued Belinda, in a still more earnest whisper, for being more jealous of your mind than of your person? Fools have seldom so much penetration or so much delicacy. But, Lord, what would you have me do? What would you have me say, that Lord Delacour writes better letters than these? Oh, no! But show him these letters, and you will do justice to him, to yourself, to everybody. I'm sure I should be happy to do justice to everybody. Then pray, do this very instant, my dearest Lady Delacour, and I shall love you for it all my life. Done? For who can withstand that offer? Done, said her ladyship. Then turning to Lord Delacour. My Lord, will you come here and tell us what can be the matter with this lock? If the lock be spoiled, Lady Delacour, you'd better send for a locksmith, replied his lordship, who was still employed about the week of the argon. I'm no locksmith, I do not pretend to understand locks, especially secret locks. But you will not desert us at our utmost need, I'm sure, my Lord," said Belinda, approaching him with a conciliatory smile. You want the light I believe more than I do, said his lordship, advancing with the lamp to meet her. Well, what is the matter with this confounded lock of yours, Lady Delacour? I know I should be at studies by this time, but how in the devil's name can you expect me to open a secret lock when I do not know the secret, Lady Delacour? Then I will tell you the secret, Lord Delacour, that there is no secret at all in the lock, or in the letters. Here, if you can stand the odious smell of otter roses, take these letters and read them foolish man, and keep them till the shocking perfume is gone off. Lord Delacour could scarcely believe his senses. He looked in Lady Delacour's eyes to see whether he had understood her rightly. But I'm afraid, said she, smiling, that you will find the perfume too overcoming. Not half so overcoming, cried he, ceasing her hand, and kissing it often with eager tenderness. Not half so overcoming as this confidence, this kindness, this condescension from you. Miss Portman will think us both a couple of old fools, said her ladyship making a slight effort to withdraw her hand. But she is almost as great a simpleton herself, I think, continued she observing that the tears stood in Belinda's eyes. My Lord! said a footman who came in at this instant. Do you dress the carry she set the door, as you order to go to Lord Studley's? I'd see Lord Studley at the devil's, sir, and his burgundy along with him, before I'd go to him today, and you may tell him so, if you please, cried Lord Delacour. Very well, my Lord! said the footman. My Lord dines at home. They may put up the carriage. That's all, said Lady Delacour. Only let us have dinner directly, added she as the servant shut the door. Miss Portman will be famished amongst us. There is no living upon sentiment. And there is no living with such pulse without being something more of a bore, said Lord Delacour, looking at his splashed boots. I will be ready for dinner before dinner is ready for me. With activity very unusual to him, he hurried out of the room to change his dress. O day of wonders, exclaimed Lady Delacour, and O night of wonders if we can get him through the evening without the help of Lord Studley's wine. You must give us some music, my good Belinda, and make him accompany you with his flute. I can tell you he has really very pretty taste for music, and knows fifty times more of the matter than half the dilettante who squeezed the human face divine into all manner of ridiculous shapes by way of persuading you that they are in ecstasy. And, my dear, do not forget to show us the charming little portfolio of drawings that you have wrought from Oakley Park. Lord Delacour was with me at Harrogate in the days of his courtship. He knows the charming views that you have been taking about Knarsboro, and Fountains Abbey, and all those places. I will answer for it, he remembers them a hundred times better than I do. And, my love, I assure you he is a better judge of drawing than many whom we saw ogling Venus rising from the sea in the Orléans gallery. Lord Delacour has let his talents go to sleep in a shameless manner, but really he has talents if they could be wakened. By the by, pray make him tell you the story of Lord Studley's original Titian. He tells that story with real humor. Perhaps you have not found it out, but Lord Delacour has a vast deal of drollery in his own way and— Dinner's ready, my lady. That is a pity, whispered Lady Delacour. For if they had let me go on in my present humor, I should have found out that my lord has every accomplishment under the sun, and every requisite under the moon to make the marriage state happy. With the assistance of Belinda's portfolio under harp and the good humor and sprightliness of Lady Delacour's wit, his lordship got through the evening much to his own satisfaction. He played on the flute, he told the story of Studley's original Titian, and he detected a fault that had escaped Mr. Percival in the perspective of Miss Portman's sketch of Fountains Abbey. The perception that his talents were called out, and that he appeared to unusual advantage, made him excellent company. He found that the spirits can be raised by self-complacency even more agreeably than by burgundy. Whilst they were at breakfast the next morning in Lady Delacour's dressing room, Marriott knocked at the door and immediately opening it, exclaimed in a joyful tone. Miss Portman, they're eating it. Ma'am, they're eating it as fast as ever they can. Bring them in. Your lady will give you leave, Marriott, I fancy, said Miss Portman. Marriott brought in her goldfishes. Some green leaves were floating on the top of the water in the glass globe. See, my lady, said she, what Miss Portman has been so good as to bring from Oakley Park for my poor goldfishes, who I am sure are to be much obliged to her, as well as myself. Marriott set the globe beside her lady, and retired. From Oakley Park, and by what name impossible to pronounce must I call these green leaves to please botanic ears, said Lady Delacour. This, replied Belinda, is what then learned duckweed, learned lemna-call, and it is to be found in any ditch or standing pool. And what possessed you, my dear, for the sake of Marriott and her goldfishes, to trouble yourself to bring such stuff a hundred and seventy miles? To obliged little Charles Percival, said Miss Portman, he was anxious to keep his promise of sending it to your Helena. She found out in some book that she was reading with him last summer, that goldfishes are fond of this plant. And I wish, added Belinda in a timid voice, that she were here at this instant to see them eat it. Lady Delacour was silent for some minutes, and kept her eyes steadily upon the goldfishes. At length, she said, I never shall forget how well the poor little creature behaved about those goldfishes. I grew amazingly fond of her, whilst she was with me. But you know, circumstance as I was, after you left me, I could not have her at home. But now I am here, said Belinda, will she be any trouble to you? And will she not make your home more agreeable to you, and to Lord Delacour, who is evidently very fond of her? Ah, my dear, said Lady Delacour, you forget, and so do I at times, what I have to go through. It is in vain to talk, to think, of making home, or any place, or anything, or any person, agreeable to me now. What am I? The outside rind is left. The sap is gone. The tree lasts from day to day by miracle. It cannot last long. You would not wonder to hear me talk in this way, if you knew the terrible time I had last night, after we parted. But I have these nights constantly now. Let us talk of something else. What have you there, a manuscript? Yes, a little journal of Edward Percivales, which he sent for the entertainment of Helena. Lady Delacour stretched out her hand for it. The boy will write as like his father as possible, said she, turning over the leaves. I wish to have this poor girl with me, but I have no spirits. And you know, whenever Lord Delacour can find a house that will suit us, we shall leave town, and I could not take Helena with me. But this may be the last opportunity I may ever have of seeing her, and I can refuse you nothing, my dear. So will you go for her? She can stay with us a few days. Lady Boucher, that most convenient dowager, who likes going about, no matter where, all the morning, will go with you to Mrs. Dumont's Academy in Sloan Street. I would as soon go to a bird fancier's as to a boarding school for young ladies. Indeed, I am not well enough to go anywhere, so I will throw myself upon a sofa and read this child's journal. I wonder how that or anything else can interest me now. Belinda, who had been used to the variations of Lady Delacour's spirits, was not much alarmed by the despondent strain in which she now spoke. Especially when she considered that the thoughts of the dreadful child, this unfortunate woman, was soon to go through, must naturally depress her courage. Rejoiced at the permission that she had obtained to go for Helena, Miss Portman sent immediately to Lady Boucher, who took her to Sloan Street. Now, my dear, consider it, Miss Portman said, Lady Boucher, I must beg and request that you will hurry Miss Delacour into the carriage as fast as possible. I have not a moment to spare, for I am to be at a china auction at two, that I would not miss for the whole world. Well, what's the matter with the people? Why does not James knock at the door? Can't the man read? Can't the man see? Cried the per-blind dowager. Is not that Mrs. Dumont's name on the door before his eyes? No, ma'am, I believe this name is Ellicott, said Belinda. Ellicott is it? I, true. But what's the man stopping for, then? Mrs. Dumont's is the next door, tell the blind dunce. Mercy on us, to waste one's time in this way. I shall, as sure as fate, be too late for the china auction. What upon earth stops us? Nothing but a little covered cart which stands at Mrs. Dumont's door. There, now it is going. An old man is drawing it out of the way as fast as he can. Open the coach door, James, cried Lady Boucher, the moment that they had drawn up. Now, my dear, consider it, Miss Portman. Remember the auction, and don't let Miss Delacour stay to change her dress or anything. Belinda promised not to detain her ladyship a minute. The door at Mrs. Dumont's was open, and a servant was assisting an old man to carry in some geraniums and balsams out of the covered cart which had stopped the way. In the hall a crowd of children were gathered round a high stand on which they were eagerly arranging their flower pots, and the busy hum of voices was so loud that when Miss Portman first went in she could neither hear the servant nor make him hear her name. Nothing was to be heard but, oh how beautiful, oh how sweet, that's mine, that's yours. The great rose geranium from Miss Jefferson, the white Provence rose from Miss Adderley. No indeed, Miss Pocock, that's from Miss Delacour, the old man said so. Ceylon's maid de Moselle cried the voice of her Frenchwoman, and all was silent. The little crowd looked toward the hall door, and from the midst of her companions, Helena Delacour, who now caught a glimpse of Belinda, sprang forward, throwing down her white Provence rose as she passed. Lady Boucher's compliments, ma'am, said the servant to Mrs. Dumont. She's in indispensable haste, and she begs you won't let Miss Delacour think of changing her dress. It was the last thing of which Miss Delacour was likely to think at this instant. She was so much overjoyed when she heard that Belinda was come by her momma's desire to take her home, that she would scarcely stay whilst Mrs. Dumont was tying on her straw hat, and exhorting her to let Lady Delacour know how it happened that she was so far from fit to be seen. Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, I'll remember, I'll be sure to remember, said Helena, tripping down the steps. But just as she was getting into the carriage, she stopped at the side of the old man and exclaimed, Oh, good old man, I must not forget you. Yes, indeed you must, though, my dear Miss Delacour, said Lady Boucher, piling her into the carriage. It is no time to think of good old man now. But I must, dear Miss Portman, will you speak for me? I must pay, I must settle, and I have a great deal to say. Miss Portman desired the old man to call in Berkeley Square at Lady Delacour's, and this satisfying all parties they drove away. When they arrived in Berkeley Square, Maria told them that her lady was just gone to lie down. Edward Percival's little journal, which she had been reading, was left on the sofa, and Belinda gave it to Helena, who eagerly began to look over it. Thirteen pages, oh, how good he has been to ride so much for me, said she, and she had almost finished reading it before her mother came into the room. Lady Delacour shrank back as her daughter ran towards her, for she recollected too well the agony she had once suffered from an embrace of Helena's. The little girl appeared more grieved than surprised at this, and after kissing her mother's hand, without speaking, she again looked down at the manuscript. Does that engross your attention so entirely, my dear, said Lady Delacour, that you can neither spare one word nor one look for your mother? Oh, Mama, I only tried to read because I thought you were angry with me. An odd reason for trying to read, my dear, said Lady Delacour with a smile. Have you any better reason for thinking I was angry with you? Ah, I know you are not angry now, for you smile, said Helena, but I thought at first that you were, Mama, because you gave me only your hand to kiss. Only my hand? The next time, simpleton, I'll give you only my foot to kiss, said her ladyship, sitting down and holding out her foot playfully. Her daughter threw aside the book, and kneeling down kissed her foot, saying in a low voice, Dear Mama, I never was so happy in my life, for you never looked so very, very kindly at me before. Do not judge a ways of the kindness people feel for you, child, by their looks, and remember that it is possible a person might have felt more than you could guess by their looks. Pray now, Helena, are you such a good judge of physiognomy? Should you guess that I was dying by my looks? The little girl laughed and repeated, Dying? Oh, no, Mama. Oh, no, because I have such a fine color in my cheeks, hey? Not for that reason, Mama, said Helena, withdrawing her eyes from her mother's face. What, then you know rouge already when you see it? You perceive some difference, for instance, between Miss Portman's color and mine? Upon my word you are a nice observer. Such nice observers are sometimes dangerous to have near one. I hope, Mother, said Helena, that you do not think I would try to find out anything that you wish, or that I imagined you wished. I should not know. I do not understand, you child, cried Lady Delacour, raising herself suddenly upon the sofa and looking full in her daughter's face. Helena's color rose to her temples, but with a firmness that surprised even Belinda, she repeated what she had said nearly in the same words. Do you understand her, Miss Portman, said Lady Delacour? She expresses, I think, said Belinda, a very honorable sentiment and one that is easily understood. I, in general, certainly, said Lady Delacour, checking herself, but I thought that she meant to allude to something in particular. That was what I did not understand. Undoubtedly, my dear, you have just expressed a very honorable sentiment and one that I should scarcely have expected from a child of your age. Helena, my dear, said her mother after a silence of some minutes. Did you ever read the Arabian Tales? Yes, Mama, I know must be the answer. But do you remember the story of Zobayda, who carried the porter home with her, on condition that, let him hear or see what he might, he would ask no questions? Yes, Mama. On the same conditions, should you like to stay with me for a few days? Yes, on any conditions, Mama, I should like to stay with you. Agreed then, my dear, said Lady Delacour. Now, let us go to the goldfishes and see them eat lamna or whatever you please to call it. While they were looking at the goldfishes, the old man, who had been desired by Miss Portnain to call, arrived. Who is this fine gray-haired old man, said Lady Delacour? Helena, who did not know the share which Belinda's aunt and her own mother had in the transaction, began with great eagerness to tell the history of the poor gardener, who had been cheated by some fine ladies out of his aloe, etc. She then related how kind Lady Anne Percival and her Aunt Margaret had been to him, that they had gotten him a place as a gardener at Twickenham, and that he had pleased the family to whom he was recommended so much by his good behavior, that, as they were leaving their house and obliged to part with him, they had given him all the geraniums and balsams out of the greenhouse of which he had the care, and these he had been this day selling to the young ladies at Mrs. Dumolls. I received the money for him, and I was just going to pay him, said Helena, when Miss Portnain came, and that put everything else out of my head. May I go and give him his money now, Mama? He can wait a few minutes, said Lady Delacour, who had listened to this story with much embarrassment and impatience. Before you go, Helena, favour us with the names of the fine ladies who cheated this gardener out of his aloe. Indeed, Mama, I don't know their names. No, did you never ask Lady Anne Percival or your Aunt Margaret? Look in my face, child, did they never inform you? No, ma'am, never. I once asked Lady Anne, and she said that she did not choose to tell me, that it would be of no use to me to know. I give Lady Anne Percival more credit, and more thanks for this, cried Lady Delacour, than for all the rest. I see she is not attempted to lower me in my child's opinion. I am the fine lady, Helena. I was the cause of his being cheated. I was intent upon the noble end about shining a certain Mrs. Lutridge. The noble means I left to others, and the means having proved worthy of the end. I deserved to be brought to shame from my folly. Yet my being ashamed will do nobody any good but myself. Restitution is in these cases the best proof of repentance. Go, Helena, my love, settle your affairs with this old man, and bid him call here again tomorrow. I will see what we can do for him. Lord Delacour had this very morning sent home to her ladyship a handsome diamond ring, which had been intended as a present for Mrs. Lutridge, and which she imagined would therefore be peculiarly acceptable to his lady. In the evening, when his lordship asked her how she liked the ring, which she desired the jeweler to leave for her to look at it, she answered that it was a handsome ring, but that she hoped he had not purchased it for her. It is not actually bought, my dear, said his lordship, but if it suits your fancy I hope you will do me the honour to wear it for my sake. I will wear it for your sake, my lord, said Lady Delacour, if you desire it, and as a mark of your regard it is agreeable, but as to the rest. My taste for diamonds now is o'er, the sparkling baubles please no more. If you wish to do me a kindness, I will tell you what I should like much better than diamonds, though I know it is rather ungracious to dictate the form and fashion of a favour. But as my dictatorship in all human probability cannot last much longer. Oh, my dear Lady Delacour, I must not hear you talk in this manner. Your dictatorship, as you call it, will I hope last many, many happy years. But to the point, what should you like better, my dear, than this foolish ring? Her ladyship then expressed her wish that a small annuity might be settled upon a poor old man, whom she said she had unwittingly injured. She told the story of the rival Galas and the Allo, and concluded by observing that her lord was in some measure called upon to remedy part of the unnumbered ills which had sprung from her hatred of Mrs. Lutridge, as he had originally been the cause of her unextinguishable ire. Lord Delacour was flattered by this hint, and the annuity was immediately promised to the old gardener. In talking to this old man afterward, Lady Delacour found that the family in whose service he lately lived had a house at Twickenham that would just answer her purpose. Lord Delacour's inquiries had hitherto been unsuccessful. He was rejoiced to find what he wanted just as he was giving up the search. The house was taken, and the old man hired as gardener. A circumstance which seemed to give him almost as much pleasure as the annuity, for there was a Morello cherry tree in the garden which had succeeded the Allo in his affection. It would have grieved him sorely, said he, to leave his favorite tree to strangers after all the pains he had been at in netting it to keep off the birds. As the period approached when her fate was to be decided, Lady Delacour's courage seemed to rise, and at the same time her anxiety that her secret should not be discovered appeared to increase. If I survive this business, said she, it is my firm intention to appear in a new character, or rather to assert my real character. I will break through the spell of dissipation. I will at once cast off all the acquaintance that are unworthy of me. I will, in one word, go with you, my dear Belinda, to Mr. Percival's. I can bear to be mortified for my good, and I am willing, since I find that Lady Ann Percival has behaved generously to me, with regard to Helena's affections, I am willing that the recovery of my moral health should be attributed to the salubrious air of Oakley Park. But it would be inexpressible, intolerable mortification to me to have it said or suspected in the world of fashion that I retreated from the ranks disabled instead of disgusted. My voluntary retirement is graceful and dignified. A forced retreat is awkward and humiliating. You must be sensible that I could not endure to have it whispered. Lady Delacour now sets up for being approved because she can no longer be a coquette. Lady Delacour would become the subject of witticisms, epigrams, caricatures without end. It would just be the very thing for Mrs. Letteridge. Then she would revenge herself without mercy for the ass and her paniers. We should have Lord and Lady D. or the domestic teta-tet or the reformed Amazon stuck up in a print shop window. Oh, my dear, think of seeing such a thing. I should die with vexation and of all deaths that is the death I should like the least. Though Belinda could not entirely enter into those feelings which thus made Lady Delacour invent witt against herself and anticipate caricatures, yet she did everything in her power to calm her ladyship's apprehension of a discovery. My dear, said Lady Delacour, I have perfect confidence in Lord Delacour's promise and in his good nature, of which he has within these few days given me proofs that are not lost upon my heart. But he is not the most discreet man in the world. Whenever he is anxious about anything you may read it a mile off in his eyes, nose, mouth and chin. And to tell you all my fears in one word Marriott informed me this morning that the letridge who came from Harrowgate to Rantopole to meet Lord Delacour finding that there was no drawing him to her has actually brought herself to town. To town? At this strange time of year? How will my Lord resist this unequivocal, unprecedented proof of passion? If she catch hold of him again, I am undone. Or even suppose him firm as a rock. Her surprise, her jealousy, her curiosity will set all engines at work to find out by what witchcraft I have taken my husband from her. Every precaution that prudence could devise against her malicious curiosity I have taken. Marriott, you know, is above all temptation. That vile wretch, naming the person whose quack medicines had nearly destroyed her, that vile wretch will be silent from fear for his own sake. He is yet to be paid and dismissed. That should have been done long ago, but not money both for him and Mrs. Franks the milliner. She is now paid, and Lord Delacour I am glad to tell his friend how well he deserves her good opinion. Lord Delacour in the handsomest manner supplied me with the means of satisfying this man. He is to be here at three o'clock today, and this is the last interview he will ever have with Lady Delacour in The Mysterious Boudoir. The fears which her ladyship expressed of Mrs. Lutridge's malicious curiosity were not totally without foundation. Chaum Four was at work for her and for himself. The memorable night of Lady Delacour's overturn and the bustle that Marriott made about the key of the boudoir were still fresh in his memory, and he was in hopes that, if he could discover the mystery, he should at once regain his power over Lord Delacour, reinstate himself in his lucrative place and obtain a handsome reward, or, more properly speaking, bribe from Mrs. Lutridge. The means of obtaining information of all that passed in Lady Delacour's family were, he thought, still in his power, though he was no longer an intimate of the house. The stupid maid was not so stupid as to be impenetrable to the voice of flattery, or, as Mr. Chaum Four called it, the voice of love. He found it in his interest to court and she her pleasure to be courted. On these coquettes of the second table, on these underplots in the drama, much of the comedy and some of the tragedy of life depend. Under the unsuspected mask of stupidity, this worthy mistress of our intriguing valet de chambre concealed the quick ears of a listener and the demure eyes of a spy. Long, however, did she listen and long did she spy in vain till it last Mr. Chaum Four gave her notice in writing that love would not last another week unless she could within that time contrive to satisfy his curiosity and that, in short, she must find out the reason why the boudoir was always locked and why Mrs. Marriott alone was to be trusted with the key. Now it happened that this billet due was received on the very day appointed for Lady Delacour's last interview with the quack surgeon and the mysterious boudoir. Marriott, as it was her custom upon such occasions, let the surgeon in and showed him up the back stairs into the boudoir, locked the door and bade him wait there till her lady came. The man had not been punctual to the hour appointed and Lady Delacour, giving up all expectation of his coming till the next day, had retired to her bedchamber where she of late, usually at this hour, secluded herself to read methodistical books or to sleep. Marriott, when she went up to let her lady know that the person as she always called him was come, found her so fast asleep that she thought it a pity to wake in her as she had not slept at all the preceding night. She shut the door very softly and left her lady to repose. At the bottom of the stairs she was met by the stupid maid whom she immediately dispatched with orders to wash some lace. Your lady's asleep said she and pray let me have no running up and down stairs. The room into which the stupid maid went was directly underneath the boudoir and whilst she was there she thought that she heard the steps of a man's foot walking overhead. She listened more attentively. She heard them again. She armed herself with a glass of jelly in her hand for my lady and hurried upstairs instantly to my lady's room. She was much surprised to see my lady fast asleep. Her astonishment at finding that Mrs. Marriott had told her the truth was such as for a moment to be refer of all presence of mind and she stood with the door ajar in her hand. As thus she stood she was roused by the sound of someone clearing his throat very softly in the boudoir. His throat for she recollected the footsteps she had heard before and she was convinced it could be no other than a masculine throat. She listened again and stooped down to try whether any feet could be seen under the door. As she was in this attitude her lady suddenly turned on her bed and the book which she had been reading fell from the pillow to the floor with a noise that made the listener start up instantaneously in great terror. The noise, however, did not wake in Lady Delacour who is in that dead sleep which is sometimes the effect of opium. The noise was louder than what could have been made by the fall of a book alone and the girl described a key that had fallen along with the book. It occurred to her that this might possibly be the key of the boudoir. From one of those irresistible impulses which some people make an excuse for doing whatever they please she seized it, resolved it all hazards to open the mysterious door. She was cautiously putting the key into the keyhole so as not to make the least noise when she was suddenly startled by a voice behind her which said who gave you leaves to open that door? She turned and saw Helena standing at the half open bed chamber door. Mercy, Miss Delacour, who thought of seeing you for God's sake don't make a noise to awaken my lady. Did my mother desire you to go into that room? repeated Helena. Dear me, no mist said the maid putting on her stupid face but I only thought to open the door to let in a little air to freshen the room which my lady always likes and bids me to do and I thought Helena took the key gently from her hand without listening to any more of her thoughts and the woman left the room muttering something about jelly and my lady. Helena went to the side of her mother's bed determined to wait there till she awakened then to give her the key and tell her the circumstance notwithstanding the real simplicity of this little girl's character she was, as her mother had discovered a nice observer and she had remarked that her mother permitted no one but Marriott to go into the boudoir this remark did not excite her to dive into the mystery on the contrary she carefully repressed all curiosity remembering the promise she had given to her mother when she talked of Zobida and the porter she had not been without temptation to break this promise for the maid who usually attended her toilette had employed every art in her power to stimulate her curiosity as she was dressing Helena this morning she had said to her the reason I was so late calling you miss this morning was because I was so late myself last night for I went to the play-miss last night which was Bluebeard Lord bless us, I'm sure if I had been Bluebeard's wife I should have opened the door if I'd died for it for to have the notion of living all day long and all night too in a house in which there was a room that one was never to go into is a thing I could not put up with then after a pause I was sitting in vain for some reply from Helena she added pray Miss Delacour did you ever go into that little room within my lady's bed chamber that Mrs. Marriott keeps the key of always no said Helena I've often wondered what's in it but then that's only because I'm a simpleton I thought to be sure you knew observing that Helena looked much displeased she broke off her speech hoping that what she had said would operate and that she should thus excite the young lady to get the secret from Marriott which she had no doubt afterward of warming from Miss Delacour in all this she calculated ill for what she had said only made Helena distrust and dislike her it was the recollection of this conversation that made her follow the maid to her mother's bed chamber and see what detained her there so long Helena had heard Marriott say that she ought not to run up downstairs because her lady was asleep and it appeared extraordinary that but a few minutes after this information she should have gone into the room with a glass of jelly in her hand ah mama thought Helena as she stood beside her mother's bed you did not understand and perhaps you did not believe me when I said that I would not try to find out anything that you wished me not to know now I hope you will understand me better Lady Delacour opened her eyes Helena agreed she starting up how came you by that key oh mother don't look as if you suspected me she then told her mother how the key came into her hands my dear child you have done me an essential service said Lady Delacour you know not its importance at least in my estimation but what gives me infinitely more satisfaction you have proved yourself worthy of my esteem, my love Marriott came into the room and whispered a few words to her lady you may speak out Marriott before my Helena said Lady Delacour rising from the bed as she spoke child as she is Helena has deserved my confidence and she shall be convinced that where her mother has once reason to confide she is incapable of suspicion wait here for a few minutes my dear she went to her boudoir paid and dismissed the surgeon expeditiously then returned and taking her daughter by the hands she said you look all simplicity my dear I see you have no vulgar schoolgirl curiosity you will have all your mother's strength of mind may you never have any of her faults or any of her misfortunes I speak to you not as to a child Helena for you have reason far above your years and you will remember what I now say to you as long as you live you will possess talents beauty, fortune you will be admired, followed and flattered as I have been but do not throw away your life as I have thrown away mine to win the praise of fools had I used but half the talents I possess as I hope you will use yours I might have been an ornament to my sex I might have been a lady and Percival here Lady Delacour's voice failed but commanding her emotion she in a few moments went on speaking choose your friends well my dear daughter it was my misfortune my folly early in life to connect myself with a woman who under the name of Frolick led me into every species of mischief you are too young, too innocent to hear the particulars of my history now but you will hear them all at a proper time from my best friend Miss Portman I shall leave you to her care my dear when I die when you die oh mother said Helena but why do you talk of dying and she threw her arms round her mother gently my love said Lady Delacour shrinking back and she seized this moment to explain to her daughter why she shrunk in this manner from her caresses and why she talked of dying Helena was excessively shocked I wished my dear resumed her mother calmly I wished to have spared you the pain of knowing all this I have given you but little pleasure in my life it is unjust to give you so much pain we shall go to Twickenham tomorrow and I will leave you with your Aunt Margaret my dear till all is over if I die Belinda will take you with her immediately to Oakley Park you shall have as little sorrow as possible if you had shown me less of your affectionate temper you would have spared yourself the anguish that you now feel and you would have spared me my dear kind mother interrupted Helena throwing herself on her knees at her mother's feet do not send me away from you I don't wish to go to my Aunt Margaret I don't wish to go to Oakley Park I wish to stay with you do not send me away from you for I shall suffer ten times more if I am not with you though I know I can be of no use overcome by her daughters and treaties Lady Delacour at last consented that she should remain with her and that she should accompany her to Twickenham the remainder of this day was taken up in preparations for their departure this stupid maid was immediately dismissed no questions were asked and no reasons for her dismissal assigned except that Lady Delacour had no farther occasion for her services Marriott alone was to attend her lady to Twickenham Lord Delacour it was settled should stay in town lest the unusual circumstance of his attending his lady should excite public curiosity his lordship who is naturally a good-natured man and who had been touched by the kindness his wife had lately shown him an extreme agitation during the whole of this day which he thought might possibly be the last of her existence she on the contrary was calm and collected her courage seemed to rise with the necessity for its exertion in the morning when the carriage came to the door as she parted with Lord Delacour she put into his hand a paper that contained some directions and requests with which she said she hoped that he would comply if they should prove to be her last the paper contained only some legacies to her servants a provision for Marriott and a request to her excellent and beloved friend Belinda Portman of the cabinet in which she kept Clarence Harvey's letters interlined in this place Lady Delacour had written these words my daughter is nobly provided for unless any doubt or difficulty should arise from the omission I think it necessary to mention that the said cabinet contains the valuable jewels left to me by my late uncle and that it is my intention that the said jewels should be part of my request to the said Belinda Portman if she marry a man of good fortune she will wear them for my sake if she do not marry an opulent husband I hope she will sell the jewels without scruple as they are intended for her convenience and not as an ostentatious bequest it is fit that she should be as independent in her circumstances as she is in her mind Lord Delacour with much emotion looked over this paper and assured her ladieship that she should be obeyed if he could say no more Farewell then my lord said she keep up your spirits for I intend to live many years yet to try them The Surgeon who was to attend Lady Delacour was prevented from going to her on the day appointed he was one of the surgeons of the queen's household and his attendance was required at the palace this delay was extremely irksome to Lady Delacour who had worked up her courage to the highest point but who had not perished to the highest point but who had not perished to the highest point but who had not prepared herself to endure suspense she spent nearly a week at Twickenham in this anxious state and Belinda observed that she every day became more and more thoughtful and reserved she seemed as if she had some secret subject of meditation from which she could not bear to be distracted when Helena was present she exerted herself to converse in her usual brightly strain but as soon as she could escape as she thought, unobserved she would shut herself up in her own apartment and remain there for hours I wish to heaven Miss Portman said Marriott coming one morning into her room with a portentous face I wish to heaven ma'am that you could anyway persuade my lady not to spend so many hours of the day and night as she does in reading those methodistical books that she keeps to herself I'm sure that they do her no good and feel her harm especially now when her spirits should be kept up as much as possible I am sensible ma'am that is those books that have made my lady melancholy of a sudden ma'am my lady has let drop very odd hints within these two or three days and she speaks in a strange disconnected sort of style and at times I do not think she is quite right in her head when Belinda questioned Marriott more particularly hints which her lady had let fall she with looks of embarrassment and horror declined repeating the words that had been said to her yet persisted in asserting that Lady Delacour had been very strange for these two or three days and I'm sure ma'am you'd be shocked if you were to see my lady in a morning when she awakens or rather when I first go into the room for as to awakening that's out of the question I am certain she does not sleep during the whole night you'll find ma'am it is as I tell you those books will quite turn her poor head and I wish they were burnt I know the mischief that the same sort of things did to a poor cousin of my own who has driven melancholy mad by a Methodist preacher and came to an untimely end oh ma'am if you knew as much as I do you'd be as much alarmed for my lady as I am it was impossible to prevail upon Marriott to explain herself more distinctly the only circumstances that could be drawn from her seemed to Belinda so trifling as to be scarcely worth mentioning for instance that Lady Delacour contrary to Marriott's advice had insisted on sleeping in a bed chamber upon the ground floor and had refused to let a curtain be put up before a glass door that was at the foot of her bed when I offered to put up the curtain ma'am said Marriott my lady said she liked the moonlight and that she would not have it put up till the fine nights were over now Miss Portman to hear my lady talk of the moon and moonlights and liking the moon is rather extraordinary and unaccountable for I never heard her say anything of the sword in her life before I question whether she even knew there was a moon or not from one year's end to another but they say the moon has a great deal to do with mad people and from my own experience as a perfectly sensible ma'am it had in my own cousin's case for before he came to the worst he took a prodigious fancy to the moon and was always for walking by moonlight and talking to one of the beauty of the moon and such melancholy nonsense ma'am Belinda could not for bear smiling at this melancholy nonsense though she was inclined to be of Marriott's opinion about the methodistical books and she determined to talk to Lady Delacour on the subject the moment that she made the attempt her ladyship commanding her countenance with her usual ability replied only by cautious cold monosyllables and changed the conversation as soon as she could at night when they were retiring to rest Marriott as she lighted them to their rooms observed that she was afraid her lady would suffer from sleeping in so cold a bed chamber and Belinda pressed her friend to change her apartment no my dear replied Lady Delacour calmly I have chosen this for my bed chamber because it is at a distance from the servants rooms and when the operation which I have to go through shall be performed my cries if I should utter any will not be overheard the surgeon will be here in a few days and it is not worthwhile to make any change the next day towards evening the surgeon and doctor X arrived Belinda's blood ran cold at the sight of them will you be so kind Miss Portman said Marriott as to let my lady know that they are come for I am not well able to go and you can speak more composed to her than I can Miss Portman went to Lady Delacour's bed chamber the door was bolted as Lady Delacour opened it she fixed her eyes upon Belinda and said to her with a mild voice you are come to tell me that the surgeon has arrived I knew that by the manner in which you knocked at the door I will see him this moment continued she in a firm tone and she deliberately put a mark in the book which she had been reading walked leisurely to the other end of the room unlocked it up in her bookcase there was an air of determined dignity in all her motions shall we go I am ready said she holding out her hand to Belinda who had sunk upon a chair one would think that you are the person who is going to suffer but drink this water my dear and do not tremble for me you see that I do not tremble for myself listen to me dearest Belinda I owe it to your friendship not to torment you with unnecessary apprehensions your humanity shall be spared this dreadful scene no said Belinda Marriott is incapable of attending you I must I will I am ready now forgive me one moment's weakness I admire and will imitate your courage I will keep my promise your promise was to be with me in my dying moments and to let me breathe my last in your arms I hope that I shall never be called upon to perform that promise Lady Delacour made no answer but walked on before her with steady steps to the room where Dr. X and the surgeon were waiting without averting in the least to the object of their visit she paid her compliments to them as if they came on a visit of mere civility without seeming to notice the serious countenances of her companions she talked of indifferent subjects with the most perfect ease occupying herself all the time with cleaning a seal which she unhooked from her watch chain this seal, said she, turning to Dr. X is a fine onyx it is a head of escholapias I have a great value for it it was given to me by your friend Clarence Harvey and I have leapt in my will doctor continued she smiling to you as no slight token of my regard he is an excellent young man and I request, said she drawing Dr. X to a window and lowering her voice I request when you see him again and when I am out of the way that you will tell him such were my sentiments to the hour of my death here is the letter which you will have the goodness to put into his hands sealed with my favorite seal you need have no scruple to take charge of it it relates not to myself it expresses only my opinion concerning a lady who stands almost as high in your esteem, I believe as she does in mine my affection and my gratitude have not biased my judgment in the advice which I have ventured to give to Mr. Harvey but he will soon be here interrupted Dr. X and then and then I shall be gone said Lady Delacour Cooley to that undiscovered country from whose born no traveler returns Dr. X was going to interrupt her but she continued rapidly and now my dear doctor, tell me candidly have you seen any symptoms of cowardice in my manner this evening none replied he on the contrary I have admired your calm self possession then do not suspect me of want of fortitude when I request that this operation may not be performed today I have changed my mind within these few hours I have determined for a reason which I am sure that you would feel to be sufficient to postpone this affair till tomorrow believe me I do not act from caprice she saw that Dr. X did not yield a cent to her last assertion and that he looked displeased I will tell you my reasons had she and then you will have no right to be displeased if I persist as I shall inflexibly in my determination it is my belief that I shall die this night to submit to a painful operation today would be only to sacrifice the last moments of my existence to no purpose if I survive this night manage me as you please but I am the best judge of my own feelings I shall die tonight Dr. X looked at her with a mixture of astonishment and compassion her pulse was high she was extremely feverish and he thought that the best thing which he could do was to stay with her till the next day and to endeavor to divert her mind from this fancy has an insane idea he prevailed upon the surgeon to stay with her till the next morning and he communicated his intentions to Belinda who joined with him in doing all that was possible to entertain and interest her by conversation during the remainder of the day she had sufficient penetration to perceive that they gave not the least faith to her prognostic and she never said one word more upon the subject but appeared willing to be amused by their attempts to divert her and resolute to support her courage to the last moment she did not affect trifling gaiety on the contrary there was in all she said more strength and less point than usual the evening passed away and Lady Delacour seemed totally to have forgotten her own prophecy respecting the event of the ensuing night so much so that she spoke of several things that she intended to do the next day Helena knew nothing of what had passed and Belinda imagined that her friend put this constraint upon herself to avoid alarming her daughter yet after Helena retired her mother's manner continued to be so much the same that Dr. X began to believe that her ladyship was actuated merely by Caprice in this opinion she confirmed him by bursting out a laughing when he proposed that someone should sit up with her during the night my sage sir said she have you lived to this time without ever having been duped by a woman before? I wanted a day's reprieve and I have gained it gained a day spent in most agreeable conversation for which I thank you tomorrow said she turning to the surgeon I must invent some new excuse for my cowardice and though I give you notice of it beforehand as Harrington did when he picked the man's pocket yet nevertheless I shall succeed good night she hurried to her own apartment leaving them all in astonishment and perplexity Belinda was persuaded that she only affected this gaiety to prevent Dr. X from insisting upon sitting up in her room as he had proposed Dr. X, judging as he said from her ladyship's general character attributed the hole to Caprice in the surgeon judging as he said from human nature in general was decided in his belief that she had been influenced as she herself declared by cowardice after having all expressed their opinions without making any impression upon one another they retired to rest Belinda's bed chamber was next to Helena's and after she had been in bed about an hour she fancied that she heard someone walking softly in the next room she rose and found Lady Delacour standing beside her daughter's bed she started at the side of Belinda but only said in a low voice as she pointed to her child don't wake in her she then looked at her for some moments in silence the moon shone full upon her face she stooped over Helena parted the ringlets of hair upon her forehead and kissed her gently you will be good to this poor girl when I am gone Belinda said she turning away from her as she spoke I only came to look at her for the last time are you then serious my dear Lady Delacour hash don't wake in her putting her finger on her lips and walking slowly out of the room she forbade Belinda to follow if my fears be vain said she why should I disturb you with them if they be just you will hear my bell ring and then come to me for some time afterward always perfectly silent in the house she did not go to bed but sat waiting and listening anxiously the clock struck two and as she heard no other sound she began to hope that she had suffered herself to be falsely alarmed by foolish imagination and she lay down upon her bed resolving to compose herself to rest she was just sinking to sleep when she thought she heard the faint sound of a bell she was not sure whether she was dreaming or awake she started up and listened but in a few minutes Lady Delacour's bell rang violently Belinda flew to her room the surgeon was already there he had been sitting up in the next room to write letters and he had heard the first sound of the bell Lady Delacour was senseless supported in the surgeon's arms Belinda, by his directions ran immediately for Dr. X who is at the other end of the house before she returned Lady Delacour had recovered her senses she begged that the surgeon would leave the room and that neither Dr. X nor Marriott might be yet admitted as she had something of importance to communicate to Ms. Portman the surgeon withdrew and she beckoned to Belinda who sat down upon the side of her bed Lady Delacour held out her hand to her it was covered with a cold dew my dear friend said she my prophecy is accomplishing I know I must die I know I must die I know I must die the surgeon said that you are not in the least danger my dear Lady Delacour that it was merely a fainting fit do not suffer a vain imagination thus to overpower your reason it is no vain imagination I must die said Lady Delacour I hear a voice you cannot hear which says I must not stay I see a hand you cannot see which beckons me away you perceive that I am in my perfect senses my dear or I could not quote poetry I am not insane I am not delirious she paused I am ashamed to tell you what I know will expose me to your ridicule ridicule cried Belinda can you think me so cruel as to consider your sufferings a subject for ridicule Lady Delacour was overcome by the tenderness with which Belinda spoke I will then speak to you said she is without reserve inconsistent as it is with the strength of mind which you might expect from me I cannot resist the impression which has been made on my mind by a vision a vision three times continued Lady Delacour it has appeared to me about this hour the first night after we came here I saw it last night it returned and tonight I've beheld it for the third time I consider it as a warning to prepare for death you are surprised you are incredulous I know that this must appear to you extravagant but depend upon it that what I tell you is true it is scarcely a quarter of an hour since I beheld the figure of that man for whose untimely death I am answerable whenever I close my eyes the same form appears before me these visions said Belinda are certainly the effects of opium the forms that flit before my eyes when I am between sleeping and waking said Lady Delacour I am willing to believe are the effects of opium but Belinda, it is impossible I should be convinced that my senses have deceived me with respect to what I have beheld when I have been as broad awake and in as perfect possession of my understanding as I am at this instant the habits of my life and the natural deity not to say levity in my temper have always inclined me rather to incredulity than to superstition but there are things which no strength of mind no temerity can resist I repeated this is a warning to me to prepare for death no human means no human power can save me here they were interrupted by Mariat who could no longer be restrained from bursting into the room Dr. X followed and going calmly to the side of Lady Delacour's bed took her hand to feel her pulse Mrs. Mariat you need not alarm yourself in this manner said he your lady is at this instant in as little danger as I am you think she'll live oh my lady why did you terrify us in this manner Lady Delacour smiled and calmly said as Dr. X still continue to counter pulse the pulse may deceive you doctor but I do not Mariat you may Belinda heard no more for at this instant as she was standing alone near the glass door that was opposite to the bed she saw at a distance in the garden the figure which Lady Delacour had described Lady Delacour was now so intent upon speaking to Dr. X that she saw nothing but him Belinda had the presence of mind to be perfectly silent the figure stood still for some moments she advanced a few steps nearer to the window and the figure vanished she kept her eyes steadily fixed upon the spot where it had disappeared and she saw it rise again and glide quickly behind some bushes Belinda beckoned to Dr. X who perceived by the eagerness of her manner that she wished to speak to him immediately he resigned his patient to Mariat and followed Miss Portman out of the room she told him what she had just seen said it was of the utmost consequence to Lady Delacour to have the truth ascertained and requested that Dr. X would go with some of the men servants and search the garden to discover whether anyone was there concealed or whether any footsteps could be traced the doctor did not search long before he perceived footsteps in the borders opposite to the glass door of Lady Delacour's bedchamber he was carefully following their track when he heard a loud cry which seemed to come from the other side of the wall there was a breach in the wall over which he scrambled with some difficulty the screams continued with redoubled violence as he was making his way to the spot from which they proceeded he was met by the old gardener who was crossing one of the walks with a lantern in his hand Ho Ho cried the gardener I take it that we have the thief at last I fancy that the fellow whose footsteps I traced a trap I hope his leg is not broke though this way sir, this way the gardener led the doctor to the place and there they found a man whose leg had actually been caught in the spring trap which had been set for the defense of the cherry tree the man had by this time fallen into a swoon they extricated him as fast as possible and Dr. X had him brought to Lady Delacour's in order that the surgeon who was there might see his leg as they were carrying him across the hall Belinda met them she poured out a glass of water for the man who was just recovering from his swoon but as she went nearer to give it him she was struck with his wonderful resemblance to Harriet Freck it must be Mrs. Freck herself whispered she to Marriott whose wide opening eyes at this instant fixed themselves upon her it must be Mrs. Freck herself ma'am repeated Marriott and so in fact it was there is a certain class of people who are incapable of generous confidence in their equals but who are disposed to yield implicit credit to the underhand information of mean emissaries through the medium of Jean Four and the stupid maid Mrs. Freck had learned a confused story of a man's footsteps having been heard in Lady Delacour's Boudoir of his being let in by Marriott secretly of his having remained locked up there for several hours and of the maids having been turned away merely because she innocently went to open the door whilst the gentleman was in concealment Mrs. Freck was further informed by the same unquestionable authority that Lady Delacour had taken a house at Twickenham for the express purpose of meeting her lover that Miss Portman and Marriott were the only persons who were to be of this party of pleasure but on the faith of this intelligence Mrs. Freck who had accompanied Mrs. Lettridge to town immediately repaired to Twickenham to pay a visit to a third cousin that she might have an opportunity of detecting the intrigues and afterwards of publishing the disgrace of her former friend the desire of revenging herself upon Miss Portman for having declined her civility at Harrogate had also a powerful influence in stimulating her malicious activity she knew that if it were proved that Belinda was the confidant of Lady Delacour's intrigues her reputation must be materially injured and that the Percival's would then be as desirous to break off as they now were anxious to promote the match with Mr. Vincent Charmed with this hope of a double triumph the vindictive lady commenced her operations nor was she ashamed to descend to the character of a spy the general and convenient name of frolic she thought would cover every species of meanness she swore that it was charming fun to equip herself at night in men's clothes and to sally forth to reconnoiter the motions of the enemy by an unfrequented path she used to gain the window that looked into Lady Delacour's bed chamber this was the figure which appeared at night at a certain hour and which to her ladieship's disturbed imagination would be the form of Colonel Lawless there was indeed a resemblance in their size and persons which favored the delusion for several nights Mrs. Freck paid these visits without obtaining any satisfaction but this night she thought herself overpaid for her exertions by the charming discovery which she fancied she had made she mistook the surgeon for a lover of Lady Delacour's and she was hurrying home with a joyful intelligence caught in the gardener's trap the agony that she suffered was at first intense but in a few hours the pain somewhat subsided and in this interval of rest she turned to Belinda and with a malicious smile said Miss Portman to his fair I should pay for my peeping but I shall not pay quite so dear for it as some of my friends Miss Portman did not in the least comprehend her till she added I'm sure you'll allow it is better for a lady to lose her leg than her reputation and for my part I'd rather be caught in a man trap than have a man caught in my bed chamber my service to your friend Lady Delacour and tell her so and do you know who that gentleman was that you saw in her ladieship's room? not I not yet but I'll make it my business to find out I give you fair notice I'm a very devil and provoked by your friend when you could you'll not baffle me I've seen all I wanted and I'm capable of painting all I saw as to who the man might be that's no matter one Lothario is as good as another for my purpose longer had Mrs. Frack spoken with Malignan triumph had she not been interrupted by a burst of laughter from the surgeon her vexation was indescribable when he informed her about Lady Delacour's bed chamber and whom she had mistaken for a favored lover Mrs. Frack's leg was much cut and bruised and now that she was no longer supported by the hopes of revenge she began to lament loudly and incessantly the injury that she had sustained she impatiently inquired how long it was probable that she should be confined by this accident and she grew quite outrageous when it was hinted that the beauty of her legs would be spoiled and she would never more be able to appear to advantage in man's apparel the dread of being seen by Lady Delacour in the deplorable yet ludicrous situation to which she had reduced herself operated next upon her mind and every time the door of the apartment opened she looked with terror towards it expecting to see her ladieship appear but though Lady Delacour heard from Marriott immediately the news of Mrs. Frack's disaster she never disturbed her by her presence she was too generous to insult a fallen foe early in the morning Mrs. Frack was by her own desire conveyed to her cousin's house where without regret we shall leave her to suffer the consequences of her frolic a false prophetess notwithstanding all my visions I have outlived the night you see said Lady Delacour to Miss Portman when they met in the morning I have heard my dear Belinda and I believe that the passion of love which can endure caprice, vice, wrinkles deformity, poverty nay disease itself is notwithstanding so squeamish as to be instantaneously disgusted by the perception of folly in the object beloved I hope friendship, though akin to love is of a more robust constitution else what would become of me my folly and my visions and my specter oh that I had not exposed myself to you in this manner Harriet Frack herself is scarcely more contemptible spies and cowards are upon an equal footing her malice and her frolic are consistent with her character but my fears and my superstitions are totally inconsistent with mine forget the nonsense I talked to you last night my dear or fancy that I was then under the dominion of Ladinum this morning you shall see Lady Delacour herself again is Dr. X is the surgeon ready where are they I am prepared my fortitude shall redeem me in your opinion Belinda and in my own Dr. X and the surgeon immediately obeyed her summons Helena heard them go into Lady Delacour's room and she saw by Marriott's countenance who followed that her mother was going to submit to the operation she sat down trembling on the steps which led to her mother's room and waited there a long time as she thought in the most painful suspense at last she heard someone call Helena she looked up and saw her father close to her Helena said he how is your mother I don't know oh Papa you cannot go in there now said Helena stopping him as he was pressing forwards why did not you or Miss Portman write to me yesterday as you promised said Lord Delacour in a voice that showed he was scarcely because Papa we had nothing to tell you nothing was done yesterday but the surgeon is now there said Helena pointing towards her mother's room Lord Delacour stood motionless for an instant then suddenly seizing his daughter's hand let us go said he if we stay here we shall hear her screams and he was hurrying her away when the door of Lady Delacour's apartment opened and Belinda appeared her countenance radiant with joy good news dear Helena oh my lord you are coming a happy moment I give you joy joy joy joy is it all over Lord Delacour and without a single shriek said Helena what courage there's no need of shrieks or courage either thank God Doctor X said so and he is the best man in the world and the cleverest and I was right from the first looking complained as she thought she had there is no such thing at all in the case my lord I said so always till I was persuaded out of my senses by that villainous quack who contradicted me for this own monument and Doctor X says if my lady will leave off the terrible quantities of loudenum she takes he'll engage for her recovery the surgeon and Doctor X now explained to Lord Delacour that the unprincipled wretch to whom her ladyship had applied for her assistance had persuaded her that she had a cancer though in fact her complaint arose merely from the bruise which she had received he knew too well how to make a wound hideous and painful and so continue her delusions for his own advantage Doctor X observed that if Lady Delacour would have permitted either the surgeon or him to have examined sooner into the real state of the case it would have saved herself infinite pain and them all in anxiety that moment felt too much to speak I'm morally certain cried Marriott Mr. Shonfour would die with vexation if he could see the joy that's painted in my lord's face this minute and we may thank Miss Portman for this for twice she made everything go right and I never expected to live to see so happy a day whilst Marriott ran on in this manner with all the volubility of joy Lord Delacour passed her with some difficulty and Helena was in her mother's arms at an instant Lady Delacour struck to the heart by their affectionate looks and words burst into tears how little have I deserved this kindness from you my lord or from you my child but my feelings added she wiping away her tears shall not waste themselves in tears nor in vain thanks my actions the whole course of my future life shall show that I am not quite a brute even brutes are won by kindness observe my lord continued she smiling I said one not tamed a tame Lady Delacour would be a sorry animal not worth looking at were she even to become domesticated she would fare the worse how so how so my dear said Lord Delacour and Belinda almost in the same breath how so why have Lady Delacour were to wash off her rouge and lay aside her air and be as gentle, good and kind as Belinda Portman for instance her lord would certainly say to her so altered are your face and mind to a perjury to love you now End of Chapter 22 Recording by Roxana Nazari The Chaplain In some minds emotions of joy are always connected with feelings of benevolence and generosity Lady Delacour's heart expounded with sensations of friendship and gratitude now that she was relieved from those fears by which she had so long been oppressed My dear daughter said she to Helena have you at this instant any wish that I can gratify? Ask anything you please and try to get it for you in a trice You have thought of a wish at this moment I know by your eyes, by your blush Nay, do not hesitate Do you doubt me because I do not appear before you in the shape of a little ugly woman like Cinderella's godmother Or do you despise me because you do not see a wand waving in my hand Ah, little skill fairy law Know that I am in possession of a talisman and more than ever fairy granted Behold my talisman continued she drawing out her purse and showing the gold through the network Speak boldly then cried she to Helena and be obeyed Ah, mama said Helena I was not thinking of what fairies or gold can give but you can grant my wish and if you will let me I will whisper it to you hear her daughter's whisper Your wish is to be granted my own grateful charming girl said her mother Helena's wish was that her mother could be reconciled to her good aunt Margaret Delacour Her ladyship sat down instantly and wrote to Mrs. Delacour Helena was the bearer of this letter and Lady Delacour promised to wait upon this excellent old lady as soon as she would return to town at this time her ladyship's health rapidly improved under the skillful care of Dr. X it had been terribly injured by the ignorance and villainy of the wretch to whom she had so long and so rashly trusted the nostrums which he persuaded her to take and the immoderate use of opium to which she accustomed herself would have ruined her constitution had it not been uncommonly strong Dr. X recommended it to her ladyship to abstain from opium and this advice she had the resolution to follow with uninterrupted perseverance the change in Lady Delacour's manner of life in the hours and the company that she kept contributed much to her recovery she was no longer in continual anxiety to conceal the state of her health from the world she had no secret to keep no part to act her reconciliation with her husband and with his friends restored her mind to ease and self complacency her little Helena was a source of daily pleasure and no longer conscious of neglecting her daughter she no longer feared that the affections of her child should be alienated Dr. X well aware that her passions have a powerful influence over the body thought it full as necessary in some cases to attend to the mind as to the pulse by conversing with Lady Delacour the combining hints and circumstances he soon discovered what had lately been the course of her reading and what impression it had made on her imagination Mrs. Marriott indeed assisted him with her opinion concerning the methodotistical books and when he recollected the forebodings of death which her Ladyship had felt and the terror with which she had been seized on the night of Mrs. Freak's adventure he was convinced that superstitious horrors hung upon his patient's spirits and affected her health to argue on religious subjects was not his province much less his inclination but he was acquainted with a person qualified by his profession and his character to minister to a mind diseased and he resolved on the first favorable opportunity to introduce this gentleman to her Ladyship one morning Lady Delacour was complaining to Belinda the books in the library were in a dreadful confusion my lord what has really a very fine library said she but I wish he had half as many books twice as well arranged I never can find anything I want Doctor X I wish to heaven you could recommend a librarian to my lord not a chaplain observe why not a chaplain may I ask your Ladyship said the doctor oh because we had once a chaplain who gave me a surface of the whole tribe the meanest sycophant yet the most impertinent busy body always cringing yet always intriguing wanting to govern the whole family and at the same time every creature's humble servant thawning to my lord the bishop insolent to the poor curate and themitizing all who differed from him in opinion yet without dignity to enforce the respect due to his faith or his profession greedy for preferment yet without a thought of the duties of his office it was common practice of this man to leap from his horse at the church door on a holiday having followed a pack of hounds huddle on his surplus and gavel over the surface with the most indecent mockery of religion do I speak with acrimony I have reason it was this chaplain who first led my lord to new market it was he who first taught my lord to drink then he was a wit an insufferable wit his conversation after he had drank was such as no woman but Harriet Freak could understand and such as few gentlemen could hear I have never alas been thought a prude but in the heyday of my youth and gaiety this man always disgusted me in one word he was a book parson I hope you have as great a horror for his species of animal as I have full as great reply doctor X but I consider them as monsters which belonging to no species can disgrace none they ought to be hunted by common consent out of civilized society said lady Delacour they are by public opinion banished from all rational society and your ladyships just indignation proves that they have no chance of being tolerated by fashion but would it not allow such beings too much consequence would it not extend their power to do mischief if we perceive that one such person could disgust lady Delacour with the whole race of chaplains it is uncommon reply to ladyship to hear a physician earnest in the defense of the clergy and a literary philosophic physician too shall we have a neologism upon bishops as well as chaplains we have had that already reply bishops all ranks persuasions and descriptions of people including I hope those stigmatized by the name of philosophers have joined in admiration of the bishop of Saint Paul de Leon the conduct of the real martyrs to their faith among the French clergy not even the most witty or brutal skeptic could ridicule you surprise me doctor said lady Delacour for I assure you that you have the character of being very liberal in your opinions I hope I am liberal in my opinions replied the doctor and that I give your ladyship a proof of it you would not then persecute a man or woman with ridicule for believing more than you do said lady Delacour those who persecute to overturn religion can scarcely pretend to more philosophy or more liberality than those who persecute to support it said doctor X perhaps doctor you are only speaking popularly I believe what I now say to be true said doctor X and I always endeavour to make the truth popular but possibly these are only truths for ladies doctor X may be such an un-gallant philosopher as to think that some truths are not fit for ladies he may hold a different language with gentlemen I should not only be an un-gallant but a weak philosopher said doctor X if I thought that truth was the same for all the world who can understand it and who can doubt lady Delacour's being of that number lady Delacour who at the beginning of this conversation had spoken guardedly from the fear of lowering the doctor's opinion of her understanding was put at her ease by the manner in which he now spoke and half laying aside the tone of railway she said to him well doctor seriously I am not so illiberal as to condemn all chaplains for one odious as he was but where to find his contrast in these degenerate days can you who are a defender of the faith and so forth assist me will you recommend a chaplain to my lord willingly said doctor X and that is what I would not say for a world of fees unless I was sure of my man what sort of a man is he not a book barson and I hope not a pedant not a dogmatist for that would be almost as bad before we domesticate another chaplain I wish to know all his qualities and to have a full untrue description of him shall I then give you a full untrue description of him in the words of Chaucer in any words you please but Chaucer's chaplain must be a little old fashioned by this time I should think pardon me some people as well as some things never grow old fashioned I should not be ashamed to produce Chaucer's parish priest at this day to the best company in England I am not ashamed to produce him to your ladieship and if I can remember twenty lines in his favor I hope you will give me credit for being a sincere friend to the worthy part of the clergy observe you must take them as I can patch them together I will not promise that I can recollect twenty lines de-suite and without missing a word that is what I would not swear to do for his grace the Archbishop of Canterbury his grace will probably excuse you from swearing at least I will said Lady Delacorte on the present occasion so now for your twenty lines in whatever order you please Dr. X with sundry intervals of recollection which may be spared the reader repeated the following line yet has his aspect nothing of severe but such a face has promised him sincere nothing reserved or sullen was to see but sweet regards and pleasing sanctity mild was his accent and his action free with eloquence in eight his tongue was armed though harsh the precept yet the preacher charmed for letting down the golden chain from high he drew his audience upwards to the sky he taught the gospel rather than the law and forced himself to drive but loved to draw the tithes his parish freely paid he took but never sued or cursed with bell and book wide was his parish not contracted close in streets but here and there a straggling house yet still he was at hand without request to serve the sick and succor the distressed the proud he tamed the penitent he cheered nor to rebuke the rich offender feared his preaching much his practice wrought a living sermon of the truths he taught Lady Delacour wished that she could find a chaplain who in any degree resembled this charming parish priest and Dr. X promised that he would the next day introduce to her his friend Mr. Morton Mr. Morton said Belinda the gentleman of whom Mr. Percival spoke Mrs. Freaks Mr. Morton yes said Dr. X the clergyman whom Mrs. Freak and to whom Clarence Hervey has given a small living these circumstances even if he had not precisely resembled Chaucer's character of a benevolent clergyman would have strongly interested Lady Delacour in his favour she found him upon further acquaintance a perfect contrast to her former chaplain and he gradually acquired such salutary influence over her mind that he relieved her from the terrors of Methodism and in their place substituted the consolations of mild and rational piety her conscience was now at peace her spirits were real and equitable and never was her conversation so agreeable animated with the new feelings of returning health and the new hopes of domestic happiness she seemed desirous to impart her felicity to all around her but chiefly to Belinda who had the strongest claims upon her gratitude and the warmest place in her affections Belinda never made her friend feel the weight of any obligation and consequently Lady Delacour's gratitude was a voluntary pleasure not an expected duty nothing could be more delightful to Miss Portman than thus to feel herself the object at once of esteem affection and respect to see that she had not only been the means of saving her friend's life but that the influence she had obtained over her mind was likely to be so permanently beneficial both to her family and to her Belinda did not take all the merit of this reformation to herself she was most willing to share it in her own imagination not only with Dr. X and Mr. Morton but with poor Clarence Harvey she was pleased to observe that Lady Delacour never omitted any occasion of doing justice to his merit and she loved her for that generosity which sometimes passed the bounds in her eulogims but Belinda was careful to preserve her consistency and to guard her heart from the dangerous effect of these enthusiastic praises and as Lady Delacour was now sufficiently re-established in her health she announced her intention of returning immediately to Oakley Park according to her promise to Lady Anne Percival and to Mr. Vincent but my dear said Lady Delacour one week more is all I ask from you what friendship asks such a sacrifice from love you expect, I know, said Miss Portman in generously, that before the end of that time Mr. Harvey will be here true, and have you no friendship for him said Lady Delacour with an arched smile or is friendship for every man in the creation Juan Augustus Vincent always accepted prohibited by the statutes of Oakley Park by the statutes of Oakley Park Mr. Vincent said Belinda but what reason? reason? oh I have done if you go to reason you are invulnerable to the light-shafts of wit I know when you are cased in this heavy armour of reason Cupid himself may strain his bow and exhaust his quiver upon you in vain but you have a care you cannot live in armour all your life lay it aside but for a moment remember in one of Raphael's pictures Cupid creeping into the armour of the conqueror of the world I am sufficiently aware said Belinda smiling of the power of Cupid and of his other wiles I would not brave his malice but I will fly from it it is so cowardly to fly surely prudence not courage is the virtue of our sex and seriously my dear Lady Delacour I entreat you not to use your influence over my mind lest you should lessen my happiness though you cannot alter my determination moved by the earnest manner in which Belinda uttered these words Lady Delacour rallied her no more nor did she longer oppose her resolution of returning immediately to Oakley Park may I remind you said Miss Portman though it is seldom either politic or polite to remind people of their promises may I remind you of something like a promise you made to accompany me to Mr Percival's and would you have me behave so brutally to poor Lord Delacour as to run away from him in this manner the moment I have strength to run Lord Delacour is included in this invitation said Miss Portman putting the last letter that she had received from Lady Anne Percival into her hands when I recollect said Lady Delacour as she looked over the letter I tell this Lady Anne of yours has behaved to me about Helena when I recollect that though you have been with her so long she has not supplanted me in your affections and that she did not attempt to detain you when I sent Marriott to Oakley Park and when I consider how much for my own advantage it will be to accept this invitation I really cannot bring myself from pride or folly or any other motive to refuse it so my dear Belinda prevail upon Lord Delacour to spend his Christmas at Oakley Park instead of at Studley Manor Rantipole, thank heaven, is out of the question and prevail upon yourself to stay a few days for me and you shall take us all with you in triumph Belinda was convinced that when Lady Delacour had once tasted the pleasures of domestic life she would not easily return to that dissipation which she had followed from habit and into which she had first been driven by a mixture of vanity and despair all the connections which she had imprudently formed with numbers of fashionable but extravagant and thoughtless women would insensibly be broken off by this measure for Lady Delacour, who was already weary of their company, would be so much struck with the difference between their insipid conversation and the animated and interesting society in Lady Anne Percival's family that she would afterwards think them to be burdensome but intolerable Lord Delacour's intimacy with Lord Studley was one of his chief inducements to that intemperance which injured almost equally his constitution and his understanding for some weeks past he had abstained from all excess and Belinda was well aware that when the immediate motive of humanity to Lady Delacour ceased to act upon him he would probably return to his former habits if he continued to visit his former associates. It was therefore of importance to break at once his connection with Lord Studley and to place him in a situation where he might form new habits and where his dormant talents might be roused to exertion. She was convinced that his understanding was not so much below par as she had once been taught to think. She perceived also that since their reconciliation Lady Delacour was anxious to make him appear to advantage whenever he said anything that was worth hearing she looked at Belinda with triumph and whenever he happened to make a mistake in conversation she either showed involuntary signs of uneasiness or passed it off with an easy wit by which she generally knew how to make the worse appear the better reason. Miss Portman knew that Mr. Percival possessed the happy talent of drawing out all the abilities of those with whom he conversed and that he did not value men merely for their erudition, science or literature he was capable of estimating the potential as well as the actual range of the mind. Of his generosity she could not doubt and she was persuaded that he would make every possible means which good nature joined to good sense could suggest to raise Lord Delacour in his Lady's esteem and to make that union happy which was indissoluble. The reflections passed with the utmost rapidity in Belinda's mind and the result of them was that she consented to wait Lady Delacour's leisure for her journey. End of Chapter 23