 Peace be upon you and welcome to Making a House a Home on Imam Hussain TV with myself Raghad Baqir and our expert life coach and NLP practitioner, Fahima Muhammad, who today will be talking about combating stress. Peace be upon you, Fahima. Peace be upon you, too. Can you tell us a bit more about how you go about combating stress and how you help people overcome this type of anxiety? Yes, we have to understand what stress is and it's actually a biological response that we need actually sometimes for survival and, you know, the stress allows our biological system to sort of prepare itself to do something, either to fight or to run away. So, you know, we might not think of it like that but it actually does, it's a vital need to a certain extent. And psychologists sort of stress that, you know, we often base our individual perception on different situations which can actually make it more stressful for some people and less stressful for others because it just depends how we look at things. So that's why we find that some people cope with certain situations which are similar, a lot better or a lot worse and that's all to do with our perception. So when someone says, oh, you're better at coping with stress, it's not that they're actually better at coping with stress itself, it's just that how they look at the situation, they look at it differently. Exactly. Exactly. And we have an American psychologist, Julian Rotter, who describes us as our locus of control. So basically, externally, it's either the individual feels that, you know, that, you know, outside the environment controls their situation or they themselves internally can control whatever's happening. So even in life, we might think that, you know, we don't have control because it's the economy or it's because of our parents or it's because of, you know, certain situations. So that's what it just describes. Or there are individuals that feel that no matter what happens in this life, you know, I'm going to take control over certain things and I'm going to make it happen. Generally, as individuals, we have a little bit of both and we prefer sometimes to use one or the other depending. So obviously, it's nice to sort of feel that, you know, we as individuals have more control regardless of our outside circumstances, but then again, it's all psychological and how we look at things, how we feel about things. And with that becomes, you know, our actions and our emotions. So it's really interesting to sort of understand what stress is. And I think in life that, you know, we need to also have stress sometimes to actually perform better because when we under pressure, then it helps us sort of like keeps us on our toes. And for example, if we need to sort of apply brakes, you know, to prevent an accident, you know, that stress mode is something that keeps us sort of like, you know, up. I guess that's why biologically we are made to stress sometimes. It's just it's a way of survival. Yes, it is a way of survival. But I mean, in today's world, it is really, really testing. It's overriding us. And we need to be a lot more aware of the symptoms and how it can actually overtake, you know, and actually become unhealthy. So we need to take steps to sort of recognizing it. So when we sleep less and we eat less and we don't perform well. And usually it's because it's physically as well that we have to understand. But it comes generally from the mind. So when we are aware of that, there are certain steps that we can take in order to control the stress levels. So it doesn't get to a dangerous point because it can actually have an adverse effect on us in every way, mentally and physically. So you're saying stress can affect you physically. Yes. Is that when it's stress ties into anxiety or are they two to completely separate things? It can to a certain extent. Anxiety is more about thinking about the future and trying to overcome, you know, what may happen. So that is slightly looked upon a bit different stresses. It can be also futuristic, but actually it's more about the moment. And it's also a worry and a concern as well. So it's a very thin line between the two. But there is a distinction between the both. But, you know, it's, you know, sadness and stress and depression and anxiety. All of that has its own sort of like label. But it does actually overlap to a certain extent. And I think stress is a very simple formula, which we have, which can lead to something even more severe like depression. Because, you know, as humans, we form a habit of the way we think and act. So when we are used to being like, oh, we're stressed and this is how we perform, and this is how we think, then it's another habit that we're creating, which is not healthy. And that habit becomes more like anxiety, becomes more depression. So, and that becomes dangerous because we're living in that way. Because we are humans that, you know, we live through habits. Yes. So that's why it's important to sort of recognize the stress levels that you have. Yeah, because a lot of people do actually get confused or merge them together, stress, anxiety and depression, when you're actually saying each of them is a different, a different thing. It is a different thing. But we still can think of it in a way that I'm not trying to say that, you know, if you are strong minded, you're not going to feel these things. Because as humans in the moment, we're going to feel stressed, but it's not about not feeling it at all. It's about trying to get out of that feeling so that you don't stay in it for too long. When you stay in those sort of like downward spiral, yeah, for too long, that's when it becomes dangerous. That's when it becomes the habit. That's when it can lead to sort of severe, you know, depression and sadness and also, you know, being overwhelmed with the stress, not being able to cope with it and it taking over you instead of you taking over it. So that's why it's really important how we understand stress, how we know we can use it for our advantage and how we know that we can actually overcome it for our advantage. OK. So, I mean, the causes of stress really, it's quite important to also understand that what causes stress and usually it's the environment, you know, social standards, the communities, all this expectation that's put upon ourselves from the outside, you know, for students or for generally people who are professional, the academic pressures, you know, extracurricular things that we feel that we need to do as individuals to sort of perform better, look better, be better, you know, against our peers. You know, we have all of that, the workload that we put upon ourselves, even though we say that, you know, we might have that workload that we cannot get rid of, but actually, you know, we're choosing it and we, you know, we get what we tolerate as well, we put up with what we tolerate with. And, you know, the time management, not being able to be sort of like, you know, disciplined, not being organized, you know, those sort of little things that we can actually have control over does make a difference to our stress. So, you're saying that we can control our stress levels? Yeah, by sort of, you know, being a certain way in life. Stress comes in many forms and in various ways, you know, with work, school, you know, at different stages in life, whatever you're going through. So, things like being organized, you know, being on time, and we always say, oh, we work so late, we work so hard. But then if we just went to bed an hour earlier, and how many of us say that, you know, we always say we're gonna go to bed early, we don't. And then we get up tired. When you're physically drained as well, and you start the morning like that, then whatever you have to face, the stress is 10 times felt, it's felt a bit more. So, you've got to understand how your body can handle certain things. It's not like you can't handle it, or what pressures are you putting on it in order for you to not handle it, and then it leads to the stress. Yeah, so set yourself realistic targets as well. Yeah, so whatever situation you're in, you've got to question yourself. You know, even if you're a working mom, and you have family, and you've got lots to do, you know, you have to be more organized. You have to sort of certain days, you know, cut back on certain things. You can't do everything every day and be on top of it all the time, you know. And it's the way in which you look at stuff. And sometimes to let things go. I know it's easier said than done, but you know, like I said, it's perception, it's about organizing your time, and only you know that. And when I sit with my clients one to one, we go through their day, we see how it can work, and there's always pockets that we can fill with some real, you know, tips and strategies and techniques where we can put it into use. And the effects of stress as well, you know, you realize when you're stressed, because some people don't even realize they stress because it becomes such a habit. And then they don't realize that they're stressed out and they wonder why, you know, they're not feeling very well or they're constantly getting ill or, you know. Just generally depressed. Yeah, or they just, you know, their energy levels are down. So having lack of sleep, you know, you generally have poor eating habits and, you know, lack of memory, you know, difficulty in focusing and concentrating and losing weight, gaining weight. And it can actually lead to anxiety and panic attacks. So when you have these sort of like, you know, these sort of things that happen to you, you know, this is an alarm for you to sort of like, you know, reassess how you're living, how you're coping, how you're doing things. And, you know, you really got to take the steps because, you know, when it's in the mind and it affects the body, then it affects everything else around you. So you're saying that these are alarm bells for you to slow down or to change something, rather than which some people look at that and say, actually I'm not doing well enough, I need to do more. Yes. So actually the best thing to do is to slow down. To slow down. Well, then that brings on to my next point as to how to, you know, ways to relieve stress. And there's various ways to do it. And it depends on the individual. And people are always like, well, we don't have time. You know, literally sometimes, you know, studying mindfulness and being a mindfulness coach as well. It really, really helps to just focus and be in the moment. And a lot of them say, well, we cannot be in the moment because in the moment it's stressful. But it's all about, you know, your physiology. Just when we realize that we have to open our mouths and close and breathe, that gives us the pause, the seconds that we need, not even minutes sometimes. The second, when we are overwhelmed or we're feeling a bit stressed, just to take a minute to breathe and pause. And if you're in that room, wherever you are, which is really a very healthy tip, just focus on anything around you. Just to bring yourself away from the stress that you're feeling and thinking about. So if there's a table in front of you, a cup in front of you, just focus on that for a second or two and breathe. And you don't realize how the mind can just switch. And it can actually boost you back to where you need to be. Can that be said for Salah, for example? Absolutely. Allah has done Salah for us five times a day, or three times a day. To give yourself the break. Just to focus on that Salah, on the Torah, on the Kabila and just breathe, not be running around. You know, we're supposed to not think about anything else. Yes. But we actually do it all the time. But that's the aim of it, not to think about anything else other than just breathe. Yeah, it's not just saying to do the Salah, but before the Salah. So you're preparing. So whatever you do, you prepare yourself. And it literally takes seconds and minutes. So it's really important to understand how these little tips that you can take control over and you can practice wherever you are. You know, they say meditation and being focused. You know, you close your eyes. You've got to have a peaceful environment and all zen around you. It doesn't work like that. You have to be in a classroom where it's chaotic sometimes as a teacher or as a student with other kids around you. And you've got to like refocus with all the noise and the chaos and bring yourself into a place that you can actually be in control and can pause and you can do what you need to do with all of that disruption around you. That's an invisible bubble. Yes, you create that for yourself. And it's not easy. It takes time. It's another habit to create, but it's a healthy habit to create. And when your mind is now, you know, creating this new habit and you're constantly catching your thoughts each and every time that you go through this, then it becomes natural. It becomes quicker that you can get out of the stress levels and it becomes healthier for your body because, you know, you are taking control. You are in control. And you realize actually, you know, that thought changes, the mind changes. And with that, the language, the actions and, you know, a few seconds ago, it was all stressful and all of a sudden that's how the brain works. And it's all the unconscious that's, you know, behind the mind and, you know, with NLP as well. It's such powerful strategies that could help you overcome with such little small tweaks and techniques, but it's all to do with the way in which you think and how the brain works. So it's like coming back to a safe situation but we can get it from a different perspective, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. You're taking yourself out of it. So we constantly gotta take ourselves out of our minds, out of our heads and look at ourselves from an outside perspective. You know, like we're standing above ourselves or around us, you know, looking outside ourselves. And even if you're in a stressful job or, you know, you're a mom or a teacher or wherever it may be, you know, we're just constantly focusing on the past or the future. And that creates the stress, the worry, the anxiety and it leads to depression. And that's why it's about really being in the here and now and just being able to breathe. And if you can't focus on the mind then the way in which you get to your mindset is the breathing technique. And it's so important because a lot of us don't even breathe properly. So that's really, really vital. And, you know, in this life, in today's day and age, we always think that, okay, life without stress, you know, at the end of the day should be so much easier because we've got so much to help around us with technology, with the advancements but actually that makes us much more fast moving. And the way in which we have to look at life has to change. We don't need to keep up all the time. We don't need to have everything perfect. We don't have to put so much expectations on ourselves. And, you know, there is the reality that, you know, both parents are working, you know, they're juggling, you know, the children, the families generally and, you know, basically- I took regular activities. Everything. Trying to make the perfect healthy meals and this, this woman- There's a lot of- Women, I mean, I do say women, but also men, but a lot of extra pressure in themselves. We need to be healthy. We need to be a perfect family. We need to be making enough money. And it's just too much for one person or a couple to handle sometimes. Yeah, we have to change our outlook on life. You know, we want the highest standard and the big expectations are put upon us. There's more competition with each other. You know, all these things add to the stress levels and that's what makes us like wanna drive more, wanna be on top of our game and you can do all of that if you can handle it, but if you can't handle it, is it really worth it with your health? And also, you're not giving the time, your reactions to other people, even, you know, the way in which you might be more quickly to be angry or annoyed or irritated. That also, you know, is a sign that, you know, you're stressed out. So you're not dealing with situations in the best way. So you have to find the best way that works for you. And I think the most simplest way as well, a lot of the time, which is, we can touch at any moment, is to sort of like be more with nature. Allah has created a wonderful world for us, whether it's rain or even dull, like we live in London most of the time, but we can actually appreciate that, you know, whether we see the tree swaying or the raindrops that are falling, but you know, notice it. When you notice it, then it's a different feeling and it doesn't have to be a lovely, hot, sunny day for that. You can really make anything beautiful and wonderful by just having and showing appreciation. So sort of trade the expectation for appreciation and whichever, you know, sort of point you are in your life, you have to be able to be grateful and patient. That's actually a really great point that you make because subhanAllah, when you look at, for example, the weather, it's very easy to feel down about it. It's so dull or it's just so depressing, but then you can look at it from a different perspective and say it's kind of like, you know, we live in a country where it's always quite cold whenever it's too hot or anything so extreme. It all depends on how you look at the situation. Exactly, and like I said, you can make anything, anything beautiful and you can try and like, you know, daily uplifts, you know, and, you know, be kind to yourself, you know, take a couple of minutes walk at lunchtime, you know, people go out for, you know, smoke breaks. You can go out for just like fresh air, you know, things like that if you're at work or if you're at school or if you're even at home, open the back door in your kitchen and just look at the sky. You know, that could be refreshing for a couple of minutes. And subhanAllah, when you go out for the smoke break, you're thinking about all the stresses and all the negativity. When you're going out for a quick break, just to walk around, appreciate everything. Look around you. Then you're actually bringing in positivity. So it's all about how you look at things. How you do things. And we have a lot of strategies and tips for this. And obviously, you know, you have to accept life. You've got to avoid certain things. You've got to alter certain things. You've got to adapt to certain things. So all of these things are really important for you to focus on. And obviously being Muslim, the best way of combating stress, you know, we have the added gift of liquor. So that could be done at any time, any moment. Just, you know, being grateful and thankful and, you know, saying certain names and, you know, being so like at one with your creator. So no matter what you're doing, and just for that second, it'll give you the boost that you need. And, you know, they always say that, oh, if you're depressed and if you're, you know, sad and suicidal or things like that, that, you know, your Iman is less and, you know, you don't have belief. But no, we're humans. We're going to go through stress. I'm going to go through stress. We're going to go through everything. And I'm not saying that, you know, at the end of the day, if you have, you know, strong Iman, you're never going to feel all of these things. You're going to feel it with human. But with psychology today and with the knowledge that, you know, Allah has asked us to sort of create for ourselves and build continuously because there are ways that we can overcome this and not stay in that for so long. So that even though we feel it, we can definitely overcome it with the psychology of today and the fact that, you know, we have our Islam to sort of teach us, you know, ways in which that would help us overcome this and it gives us another tool which we're so grateful to have. So Paala, every human being has to go through a test, has to go through a hard time in their life. So you can't say that someone who goes through a stressful situation doesn't have Iman. No, it's just how you handle that stressful situation is how your Iman can be looked at. Yeah, and we need to go through, you know, the bad to understand the good. We need to have sort of like, you know, sort of like, you know, sort of really stressful times to appreciate the peaceful times. So everything is a gift and, you know, we have to appreciate it. We wouldn't know what's happiness if we didn't have sadness, for example. So we need to educate ourselves about psychology, the way in which we think, the way in which our human minds are and, you know, the more we have understanding of it, that's when we can cope with it just like how when we're raising children and we have to understand the psychology of the development in their different stages so we can know that they're not just winging because they're terrible kids, they just don't have a way of expressing themselves and they're having so much emotion for that moment that they don't know how to, you know, probably, I don't know, use. So that, again, is another way of looking at things and if you do that with every stage and every step of your life, then just having awareness and interest will get you into a place that, you know, when you have that understanding you can cope with it. You can cope with it really well and the stress will, inshallah, with everything that, you know, the tools that you have, you can actually definitely overcome it and combat it. Inshallah, yeah, and like I said, we all, like he said, we all have to overcome stress one way or another. It just depends on how we look at the situation. Yeah. And Fahima, you've been very, very insightful and inshallah, all our viewers have managed to get a better understanding on how to combat stress and how to deal with that. And inshallah, we're going to go for a break and after the break, if you have any questions for Fahima, we'll do our best to answer them and we'll be back soon. Salaamu alaykum and welcome to Making a House a Home. We're back with some of your questions. Fahima, I have a question from Layla who asks, how do I manage my stress levels when I work and have a husband and children to look after who are young and the day-to-day life is so hectic? Yeah, I mean, that is a very common sort of, you know, issue that we faced with every single day and people come to me all the time saying, you know, I don't have time. I'm really busy and this and the other, but we do tend to generalize a lot of these things and I'm not saying that she doesn't feel it is genuine what she feels, but I think to take a step back and like I said, if I was to work with somebody in that situation one-to-one, is to really analyze how are you managing your day, you know, being productive, being organized, being sort of militant and disciplined with certain things that you need to do and you cannot do everything every day. You have to cut back or you have to do certain things on certain days and you have to sort of plan your week. I think, you know, all those organization skills really does make a difference and if possible to have people to help out, you know, with you like, you know, your husband could maybe take some time during the week or evenings or whatever it may be to help with the homework or pick up, drop off if it's possible. You know, there's so many different ways of, you know, working towards this, but when we get overwhelmed, we look at the whole picture and we think the whole picture is bad, but it's not. So if I was to sit within, you know, an individual and analyze their day and work a plan to see, well, what is the real stress? Is it the way you're looking at it? Is it the actual, you know, events that are happening? Can we control certain things and make it better? Is there a better way of dealing with certain things when it comes to the children? Are they all, you know, doing certain things at the same time when it can be separated so you're not being overwhelmed with everything? So there's so many different techniques, so many strategies and tools, and then to work within yourself as an individual, do you actually take the time out for yourself for a couple of minutes before you walk in through that door and there's chaos, you know, to breathe and to think and to see that, okay, this is what's going to happen and then plan it and give sort of advice and delegate, you do this, you do that, this is what needs to be happening so that everyone's separate and to do what they need to do so they're not overwhelming you. So there's so many ways of looking at it and I think generally, I think in a home, it is really up to you to sort of make it much more organized and I know that people that are militant and organized with regards to their planning of how, you know, even if you just prepare your meals for the week and you don't have to think about that or cook two in one day, for example, so that you're not cooking the following day because that day you're coming late from work, you're not going to have the time. You know, certain things can really make a difference to everything by just being organized and planning and working in advance and a lot of the time we're not disciplined in that way and that's the basics of what I can give for that sort of advice but obviously if I had like a real conversation getting into deeper understanding, there are other techniques as well. Right. So once you understand the actual where the stress is actually coming from and what her family is like. Dynamics, yeah. Dynamics are, then you can actually give more advice, inshallah. Absolutely. Mustafa asks, I have a very stressful and demanding job so I am always stressed and cannot seem to get rid of my stress. How can we help? Yeah, that is very common as well, you know, working in a demanding job. But then again, you're looking at that job as being demanding. I'm sure if you're doing it, there is a payoff and there is a reason and there's a benefit. So, you know, you need to focus on that and sometimes the language we use can actually make us think that it's demanding when actually you can use it as being challenging. I'm in a challenging job, not a demanding job, so the challenge can be overcome. Whereas demand is more like you're disempowered. Whereas when you're empowered, we can use different language. Yes, I'm in a challenging job. So how can I, you know, overcome this? So then you look at it differently and you'll have a different concept of dealing with it. You might have to be more, you know, creative in the way in which you work your day. You know, and maybe talk to the bosses, talk to colleagues, see how they're doing it. A lot of the times, we just see ourselves in a bubble and think there's no one else going through the same things. But there's other people that are actually coping in the same situation as you, so talk about it. So you can actually find out some information about it. And even generally, even with the scenario before, with the mum that's finding it hard, talk to other people or talk openly about it and you realize actually it's not so bad. We always look at our lives as it's just us, just me. But there's always things that are much worse off. So, you know, to be grateful for the situation you're in and be more than yourself, do for others more. Because, you know, the stress that you feel is only when because you're looking at it just from, you know, your perspective and it's only you. So you've got to open it up into various ways. Firstly, I'm not the only one going through this, for example. Or secondly, I'm going through this because there's an end goal. But let me look at it in a way where I can actually, you know, perceive it in a different way. So that could help a little bit as well with regards to the job. Okay, I have a question from Samaya. And she asks, how do you not get stressed when you have important exams to prepare for and take knowing that the result determines your future? Yeah, I mean, again, it's all to do with preparation and you have to have belief that, you know, when you're going to study and plan for something and work towards something, whether it's exams and yes, it's your future, you don't have absolute control over it. You've got to leave the rest in Allah's hands too. You do your part as best you can and the stress only goes really far and really out of control when you know that you don't have belief. You've got to have a little bit of extra belief knowing I've done all that I can and, you know, the rest is up to you, Allah. You know, you have my future in hand really. You know, even though that exam can be correct, it still may not plan out the way you expected it to go and that's what normally happens in life. You know, you won't get the result or you get the result and it still doesn't lead you to where you wanted to. So, we as Muslims, we know that about life. We just need to remind ourselves all the time. But it doesn't mean that you've got to sort of like, oh, you know, I don't need to study because, you know, Allah's got it planned for me. No, you have to take the, you know, the steps to do your best but leave it. And to have to work with it as well. Exactly. Exactly. When you have to work with Subhan Allah, it's like you put the stress onto Allah's shoulders as they say. Absolutely. That's what I mean. Allah. Yeah, because you do the best you can do and that's all that people can ask of you and you should not have, you know, so much of a blueprint. We live in this life, generally, having a blueprint of how our life needs to work out and how it needs to go. When it comes to studies, education, jobs, marriage, you know, the whole package, we want it in a blueprint in that way and it doesn't work out and one thing doesn't happen and then we get stressed, we get depressed, we get sad because it hasn't worked out because of the way we think it should go and that's not how life is and the more we get used to it saying that even there's a plan, you can have an end goal but the direction and the planning will change over time and you just got to go with that and just know that whatever direction is there for you and whatever, you know, stresses and challenges and tests and whatever maybe trials that you have to do it to overcome that is in order for you to grow and evolve and to learn and with time everything comes because it's testing you to get to the next stage, to the next phase in life so you can't grow and evolve unless you cross another hurdle so that's how you got to look at it and don't have a story in your head saying this is how it's going to be I'm going to go to private school I'm going to have this, this, this, this and you know, it's going to work out like that nobody ever does that and the ones that even have that like you'll see in Hollywood they've got the money, the fame, the fortune everyone aspires to those things and then they're depressed and they commit suicide because again that's not happiness so you have to be very, very careful how you perceive life and as Muslims we have the answer we know the meaning and the purpose of us being here so we need to be very careful how we do that with everything that we decide and the choices that we make and don't just think about yourself when you make life more than yourself and you want to help others and do for others regardless of your own goals that's when you can even appreciate whichever stage you're at and that's what makes you more Thank you Fahima Noor asks, when you are stressed in the moment is there a way of getting out of that stress pattern quickly? Absolutely, in NLP we have some really, really strong powerful techniques and generally for example I will tell you if you've got some sort of like worry and anxiety there's a... you can have your hand held out and sort of picture it in your palm for example and you picture all of it bring it close to you that's one technique and then slowly you tap, tap, tap tap till it goes to the end and kind of drop it you do that a few times and you'd be so surprised that just by doing that for a few moments you know it's kind of like really taking away and these are just one or two of the techniques of NLP and there's one of anchoring which is also like trying to basically have another thought and tapping your shoulder or your elbow and you know like a happy thought for example so that whenever you feel stressed or whenever you feel like in a certain way that will sort of like bring out that feeling of the happiness because you've sort of like created like a connection so is that tapping like a reminder like a reminder to yourself like a happy thought that's an anchor a lot of people do that for different things whether it's like you know flickering or raising your eyebrows and it's really powerful it works because we just have this all the time we don't realize like when you walk into the kitchen you automatically open the fridge you know why and it's the same sort of thing so you can create that where you get rid of stress immediately and also like I said before we mentioned about the pause about the breathing about just focusing on a different thought and an alternative in that moment and focusing on something which is in front of you other than what you're going through that can take away the stress immediately but NLP has amazing powerful techniques that we can use with our clients that can actually they can train themselves and it's a habit to create and they have control over it and it's so amazing that they can actually do this for themselves when you talk them through it and you take them through it then they are automatically thinking of the problem which was so big and so small and there's also another one where you can picture you can have like a frame of whatever stress you have it's really a big picture and all of a sudden you bring it smaller smaller closer and it disappears and for children if they have like sort of scared of spiders for example you make them have an image of the spider then you sort of talk them through it to say well now the spider has really long legs now it's dancing now it's acting all funny and you know with children it's really amazing because they can create that image much more clearer than what we can we have to really think because we always surround by different ways and there's always these filters for them it's easier but we can learn from them and NLP understands the way the brain thinks and the mind works so these sort of techniques can help you sort of overcome you know sort of like anything anxiety, depression to a certain extent it's an extra tool alongside if you were to have sort of medical help as well but it really does work and I find it fascinating it's very simple it's quirky and a lot of people think oh it's a bit silly but try it and you know it can really make a difference so yes there's definitely steps to take to overcome stress in the moment but mindfulness is the amazing thing to be present right here in the moment right now even overcoming fear what is fear? right now you're not really fearful but most of the time we have the fear it's because if we're worried about the past fear that we've experienced or something that may happen which is the future thing so to overcome you know all of those things it's really about being in the moment and focusing you know in the here and now and that's what we have control over anyway so that's you know all of that is amazing to sort of like have insight of have awareness of have knowledge and when you have that then you can use it in your daily routine and build yourself a different habit and create a different character and you know build different perceptions of things in life that can make it easier and smoother for you to carry on and over time you will train your mind so when you have depression when you have stress when you have anxiety worry, sadness you'll flip out of it very very quickly and easily insha'Allah insha'Allah anyone who's going through a stressful time may Allah ease your stress insha'Allah with bikr and with iman and with tawakul it can get easier thank you so much Fahima it's been so insightful it's we've all well personally I've learnt so much insha'Allah all of you have enjoyed listening to you and thank you so much for your questions thank you so much for listening to us and insha'Allah we'll be back next week with another very interesting topic by Fahima and see you soon at hotmail.com