 You know what I can say, this tripod doesn't look good at all. I'm going to put my friend over at the court, and, yeah, I'm vlogging today. Bye. Film on my phone, because I've been at it really quickly getting ready, because apparently I just got a phone call from my friend, saying the police turned up to a squatter, which is not what she was told, and she's panicking, so I'm going out. My hair's really straight today. I'm going to film the rest of this video later on. This is the room that I like to eat. Oh, there's your window, it's huge. Thank you. Look at the good old window! I always have plants. I like Alice's plants. I don't like the morph of Ralph. Yeah, my lens won't zoom anything out. If I do manual stuff, will it work better? Can we just appreciate the struggle we're having, Alice? Struggles! And now we're using it for you and borrowing Alice's tripod. There! Does that work? Rotary! I'm cold. There we go, it's actually recording though. Electric convulse isn't as controversial as people think it is. No, but I guess if you were like, there's so many things you've tried. When you've tried, I've been at every ounce of depressant now, including the one on one. There is no more I can try. I've been at every single one. Old generation, new generation, new released. After this one, if this one doesn't work, I'm doing quotation marks because I've been on it before. There is no more medication to try. How many are there? Oh god, there's a long list. You've tried that many? I've been on medication for like five years. Not many of them have worked. I had really bad reactions to most of them. How do you think people should change their attitudes towards mental health? And how do you think they can improve the mental health system? Just by having better understanding. Honestly, better understanding could go a mile. Because I know a lot of my family, funnily enough, are a bit like, you can just go for a run. You'll be fine, exercise, eat healthier. I'm like, yeah, that can help. But it's not like you're cooking BTS fear on it, is it? I think people need a better understanding to open their eyes and not say mental health has an age. Why are fireworks going off? It's not even dark. If it's dark, I don't understand. Because it's kind of Halloween. Happy Halloween, by the way. Do you then imaginary pumpkin? Did you enjoy the pumpkin? Controversial. Controversial? What about asylums and tychoas being similar? I also think it goes along with the understanding. Because understanding has changed a lot. Because on brain scans, mental illness can have certain effects on brain patterns. When it does on scans, and a lot of research was done into it all. When all the technology came out, obviously your understanding got better. Treatments changed. It's the best form of treatment for what they had at the time. It does kind of make sense a bit. I don't agree with what they did to people. But given the lack of understanding, lack of information, lack of technology about that they did the best they could, essentially. Some of them know. Some of them was genuinely abusive towards people. Obviously there's some abusive ones and some not. It's the same with hospitals nowadays. And I hate the fact that I'm about to make this comparison. But take Michelle, for instance, with her experience. Obviously she's got to be used in hospitals a lot of times. And I haven't. Too very different experience. I know plenty of people who haven't had that experience. There's always going to be differences. It just depends on the staffing. It depends on the area. What I was saying earlier, with the medication things they do, I think they should have a definitive diagnosis confirmed by at least two or more people before they decide to stop forcing medication on to people. Because when you're under the mental health act I don't know how it works in America but I'm going to tell them on section 2 3, 37 and all of that jazz I'm not going to list all of them because I'll be here forever. There's so many, they can do anything. You don't have rights. You have a right to appeal. And so many people get misdiagnosed as BPD then bipolar later. For me it was the other way around. I got diagnosed by polar first then BPD and bipolar. Now it's just BPD. My diagnosis has changed so much the last two years. What would your advice be to maybe someone that doesn't have any like mental illness or any like patient doesn't struggle with any of that but you know someone have patients patients and just be like don't treat people differently. I know this annoys me it annoys a lot of people. Don't treat them like they're ill. If you've treated depresses like oh you'll be okay soon. It's a bit, want it to dehumanizing of it. It's horrible. You just want to treat like everyone else. Like it's not a taboo thing. It's not a big deal. It's it's what it is. Or if like you know someone like just researching on the subject of it. Obviously the internet doesn't have all the answers because everything's different than everyone. But I'd definitely say like research. Oh I'm friends complex. Let's switch cameras in a minute. Oh you want people to like look into it. I think it should be a compulsory thing in school. But then I play with a Ouija board now and I just realized I've been looking at the viewfinder lately. Oh I I did. I do that a lot Anyway sorry guys I'll be back real later. I'm going to hit you on a hairbrush. That's a good vlog. Guys after failing with the Ouija board we're watching a Ouija board. What else would we do? Let's be real. What would we do? It's raining. I'm on the way to the train station. I hate, I hate, hate, hate, hate being impressed. I hate being lanky. I can't wait to get out of here. It was great seeing Alice. It was great hanging out with people. No, no. I need to get out of here. I'm having a really good body in Australia. That's what I was saying this morning before I had to quickly run out to go to see my friend. Welcome on board Virgin Train. We'll be travelling to London Newston calling at noneaten. What for junction? I feel obsessed, don't I? I made a deal. I wasn't going to make a video talking about that. After breaking down on the underground, I'm sick of being fucked over by people. I'm fucked over once you make time for people. And I'm sick of trusting people that get thrown in my face. I've got fucked over today, massively. I'll not even say, the last two years, like somebody who I thought I could trust, who essentially is the reason I got kicked out of UCLan, is the reason for everything. I'm at this point doing China of people fucking me over. I'm going to make the full video for this tomorrow because I can't be honest with you right now. It's the 31st of October. I'm pissed off. And my solicitor has already had an email. So what are you going to do? I'm going to go wipe the rest of my makeup off my face. I'm crying for the last hour on a train. I'm on the other ground, pushing out a trap to his fuck. I've spent a lot of time crying, guys. I feel a lot better today. I'm still feeling very down. I'm very irritated. Mainly because I got an email from UCLan yesterday. And I didn't check it until I was on the train because I didn't really... I was with people, you know? I wrote UCLan an email asking what went on, why did they suspend my studies, and I got an explanation. And I found out that one of my close friends is the sole reason behind it all. I've blocked it on Facebook. I'm done. And the person was Alice. You saw Alice in this video and I'm keeping that in because it's a good memory. It was a good time. As you know, I was in court earlier this year. I got accused of wasting the police time. I don't know how the university accessed that information. Well, I didn't know. I know now how they got access to the information. It was because Alice contacted them. Despite the charges being dropped, I apologize for you, fam. Alice never told me that any of that was going on. She didn't even mention it to me. And I brought up yesterday the email and said, oh, you had a response. I said, no. Checked out my train. Air is mad. I was honestly mad. I'm going to call Serenity because Serenity will back me up with what I'm saying because Serenity is the one person I trust. I would call Serenity in any situation. Yeah, it really fucked me up yesterday. It fucked me up. Normally, I get very upset and very emotional with things. I was wholeheartedly angry. Anger is not an emotion I feel very often. This situation did cause me a lot of anger because not only did she get me essentially kicked out of your class for something that didn't happen, she didn't even tell me. So you know what? To her, I am going to cut out my life. I've blocked her number. I've blocked her on Facebook. I don't want any contact with her, especially after that. And I'm going to insert the email now. I'm adding this clip in a day later because you couldn't hear me when I was on the train. So emotionally drained when I got in, I brought on crying on the underground because I'm so sick of being blocked with and fucked about with and like, I'm going to have to get my medication increased though because my hands feet is so bad. My trust in everyone is just fucking out window because of her, because of what she's done to me. Again, and I'm like I said, I'm just at the point now where I'm so sick of being fucked with. Normally, I try and keep this channel positive on the whole. But I'm also real with you guys and this is a real situation that's really happening. You can, I had one friend. So yeah, no. I know exactly who it was, what happened. And like I said, I don't even normally feel angry towards people or anything. I'm not a violent person, not an angry person. I was genuinely angry. And honestly, if I'd have read that email when I finished it, I would have got up and left. Because there are some things I can get over. Some things I can configure. This is not one of those things. Just fuck for my life. This has cost me over £60,000 in student loan. Because I had to restart degree because of this. Do you know what? I don't actually have much to say. Over then, be very careful with who you drop. And if you think something's going on, probably right. Do you know what? My trust in people had started to get really good and now it's just not the window. I did tweet yesterday. I was very, like I said, I was very angry yesterday. I was trying to edit this video on the training yesterday and I just couldn't because I was so angry. Originally I had a lot of issues being impressed and a lot of things about Andrea. And I was very happy to go see Alice. Right. It was nice to see her. And then I read that email and I was like, she loved my face. Like, she knew she did that. She knew she was the reason. And I spoke to her about this yesterday. I literally spoke to her about it and she didn't even mention it. If she had mentioned it, I'd have had a very different outlook on it. But it's literally fucked up my life. And it's literally fucked with everything. And to her, why? Just fucking why? That's fucking wrong. Unless I love that I can deal with it. But to Alice, honestly, why? In fairness, it doesn't surprise me. Is that bad? It doesn't surprise me that she was the reason. Cause she hangs around with a load of people who slag me off constantly. So you know what? It doesn't surprise me. And looking at it, that's a really bad mistake to make. Hanging around with someone who is friends with people who slag you off. That means that I hope you're doing amazing and like I said, links are always in the description down below. If you're new here, hit the subscribe button cause I make new videos pretty much every day. I stream that every Monday. And occasionally on weekends. Don't mind. I'll see you guys later. Peace. That was the end of it again. I need it to go back. Oh, if I don't miss it. Right, me and Serena are on the phone and we're gonna quickly talk about how much this fucked me over yesterday. So, child. How much do you think it fucked me over last night? Yeah, I was emotional. I kept hanging up, trying to get comfortable and then calling you again. You wouldn't have turned around and had the majority of the issues you've had over the past couple of years. Because that's how badly it was all fucking with you. She was fucking with you. Because where she got the police involved it made things worse. I didn't even know what to think. I'm still massively fucked over by it. Like, it's still like... It's literally... If you ever heard me that like, angry. No, you are proper pissed off. Oh yeah. When I read you that email when I got on the train Yeah. What was your first response? What was your first reaction? I would ask you, kind of glide for your sake that you weren't with her when you found out. I'm first recording, but Serenity's links will be in the description. Thank you for being a supportive friend, girlfriend. You know what I mean, if you know. Yeah. You know what I mean. You tired. No. Angry. Yeah. Obsessed. And, yeah. By camera, by the way, Alice has come.