 All right here we are we're in John chapter 6 excuse me we're gonna look at verses 60 through 71 I'm gonna be sharing today a message that that I believe is needed at this moment for some for some and for the rest of you it may be in the future needed so let's look at this together beginning at verse 60 in John chapter 6 and therefore many of his disciples when they heard this said this is a hard saying who can understand it when Jesus knew in himself that his disciples complained about this he said to them does this offend you what then if you should see the Son of man ascend where he was before it is the Spirit who gives life the flesh profits nothing the words that I speak to you are spirit and they are life but there are some of you who do not believe for Jesus knew that knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe and who would betray him and he said therefore I have said to you that no one can come to me unless it has been granted to him by my father from that time many of his disciples went back and walked with him no more then Jesus said to the 12 do you also want to go away but Simon Peter answered him Lord to whom shall we go you have the words of eternal life also we have come to believe and know that you are the Christ the Son of the living God and Jesus answered them did I not choose you the 12 and one of you is a devil and he spoke of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon for it was he who would betray him being one of the 12 and so in chapter 6 let me give you some information that leads up to what we'll be looking at today in verses 60 through 71 in chapter 6 John records that Jesus had performed us an incredible miracle he had fed a multitude of five thousand and he had done so with five barley loaves and two small fish the miracle had caused some to say that Jesus was that prophet spoken of by Moses and because they were saying this people wanted to take Jesus by force in order to make him a king and so that caused the Lord to to leave the area and he went to a place called Capernaum well the next day a crowd followed him to the city and he began to instruct them and as he was sharing with them he began making some incredible claims and the claims were intended to separate genuine disciples from casual admirers you see when the Lord very often would say something the person who was just a casual person who really had no spiritual hunger or desire or interest well that person would hear what he had to say and it would just cause it caused them to just walk away saying I don't need this kind of thing at all but somebody who had spiritual hunger when they would hear Jesus speak would want to pursue more they'd want to know more about him and so the sayings of Christ very often are intended to separate lazy listeners from sincere followers and so he was making some very exclusive claims and as it was teaching he was challenging people to surrender to him to fully commit themselves to him and you can see it in some of the things he was saying I'll read some of the verses in chapter 6 to show you what kinds of things he was saying for example in verse 35 of chapter chapter 6 Jesus said to them I am the bread of life he who comes to me shall never hunger he who believes in me shall never thirst in verse 40 this is the will of him who sent me that everyone who sees the Son and believes in him may have everlasting life and I will raise him up on the last day verse 44 no one can come to me unless the father who sent me draws him I will raise him up the last day verse 47 most assuredly I say to you he who believes in me has everlasting life verse 51 I'm the living bread which came down from heaven if anyone eats of this bread he will live forever the bread that I shall give is my flesh which I shall give for the life of the world and then finally verse 54 whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood is eternal life and I will raise him up the last day when you say things like that and those are incredible things to say he's saying that you need to believe in me trust in me and you need to eat my flesh drink my blood you're gonna have life within you well that caused them to become very agitated and all he was challenging them you need to surrender to me but they were offended they were stumbled by his words and his claims the scripture here speaks concerning in verse 60 many of his disciples notice that word disciples that word disciple is used in the wider sense here speaking of those who had been listening to and were intellectually accepting his teachings that these would be regarded as followers but they were not fully committed to him and so their response in verse 60 is that they say this is a hard saying who can understand it the word hard is translated rough or intolerable it's unacceptable it's offensive the word saying speaks of the message this is an unacceptable offensive intolerable message that he's giving and when they say who can understand the word understand means to comprehend to perceive so this is hard to hear is what they're saying we don't understand this and we are rejecting what Jesus is saying they're saying who can digest this kind of teaching who can receive this kind of message now this is a message that is difficult to truly believe so who can digest this who can believe that this man is greater than Moses who can believe that he'll raise the dead who can believe that he's the bread from heaven and to have life means to partake fully in him now one of the things as I was beginning this message and introducing it we need as Christians to remember that the Jesus never watered down his message we live in a day when there are quite a number of teachers quote-unquote who water the message down who want to make it easy to digest to the point where they they actually take out from it its heart and so we want everybody to accept this and show up in churches is really for a lot of pastors the goal we want to have a lot of people in our in our pews we want the place filled with people and so I'll say say things that they want to hear I'll say the things that they'll come back to hear more often and Jesus never did that and Jesus was saying things and you need to read your Bibles and to see this but Jesus was saying things that were as they're saying difficult hard to understand these are things that were rejecting they're intolerable we can't believe this to say he's the bread of life to say that you have to believe in him and he'll raise you up to say that the father will draw you through him to say that that you have to believe to have that life because he's a living bread that doesn't make sense and so they were offended Jesus's words don't always unite people keep that in mind because when you actually go through the Bible his words divide people and Jesus made it clear in Matthew 10 34 do not think that I came to bring peace on earth I didn't come to bring peace but a sword I came to divide my words will divide and that's what Christ is saying so we shouldn't be surprised when people are offended when you actually share the truth with them you shouldn't be you know weirded out or or even you know concerned not to say that you shouldn't care about how people feel that we should all show compassion and concern for others but don't be surprised when you say but Jesus said I'm the way the truth in life like we were looking at recently don't be surprised when when people say well that's why I don't like Christianity that's why I don't like people like you because you guys are so rejecting and so hateful and don't be surprised at that very often when people would hear Christ they would become upset at what he said in Matthew 13 in verses 54 through 58 Matthew writes when he had come to his own country he taught them in their synagogue so that they were astonished and said where did this man get this wisdom in these mighty works is this not the carpenter's son is not his mother called Mary and his brothers James Joseph Simon and Judas and his sisters are they not all with us where then did this man get all these things so they were offended at him but Jesus said to them a prophet it's not without honor except in his own country and in his own house now he did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief and so Christ actually became a stumbling block to people his words were offensive you see if the message was watered down though I wouldn't have come to faith in Christ if the message was a feel-good message I wouldn't have come to faith in the Lord because if you're telling me I'm okay the way that I am I knew I wasn't if you said everything was going to turn out all right to me I knew it wasn't if you said the things that I was doing was okay with God I knew they weren't so when somebody said listen you're lost and you need of God you need to be forgiven your heart is hard you're going in the wrong direction well that's the word of the gospel I didn't want to water down message because I wouldn't have come to faith in Christ and neither would my parents my parents would not have come to Christ either neither would my my sister Becky or my sister Madeline they would not have come to faith in the Lord they needed the truth spoken to them with love and so this is what's taking place he's been teaching these things and in verse 60 once again those people were listening said this is a hard saying who can understand it verse 61 when Jesus knew in himself that his disciples complained about this he said to him does this offend you so when it says he knew in himself his disciples murmured that would speak of his spiritual awareness not that he was listening to them but he was aware of what was going on he was aware of their difficulties he knew what was going on inside of them so he says does this offend you does that offend you because I speak of myself as a bread of life are you stumbled of what I'm telling you and what you need and so that's what's taking a place there does this offend you verse 62 what then if you should see the Son of Man ascend where he was before so Jesus referred to the fact that he had come down from heaven so he's saying will my ascension prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I came down from heaven and then he says in verse 63 it's the Spirit who gives life the flesh profits nothing the words that I speak to you our spirit and they are life and so physical food will feed my flesh but it doesn't nourish my spirit Jesus's spiritual words satisfies spiritual hunger so his words need to be seen as spiritual in nature a literal interpretation will not yield spiritual insights it's like when Nicodemus as recorded in in chapter three of John's gospel this rabbi very famous teacher a premier teacher in Israel had come to Christ by night and you remember that story where Nicodemus had spoken to him and said master we know you're a teacher come from God for no man could do the works that you do unless God is with him so he began speaking first and foremost as a man who was a teacher who also was in fellowship with other great teachers and and he was speaking concerning his group and they had come to a consensus that Jesus Christ obviously was from heaven so he came and sent that to him master we my group and I know that you are a teacher come from heaven no man can do the works that you do unless God is with him in other words we we've listened to what you've said your claims but we've also seen your power and we know that this is not of earthly origin and therefore we have together decided that you are come from God and Jesus didn't say isn't that cool he didn't say well you know I got some greater things hang around Nick and you'll see more he said unless a man is born again he cannot see or enter into the kingdom of heaven what are you talking about born again what do you what do you mean Nicodemus's response was what do you mean born again how is it possible for a man to be born again you see to enter into his mother's womb a second time and be born again in that natural way so he actually as a teacher is asking a question Jesus says to him the words that he is speaking are spiritual in nature you can't take these words in a literal way you need to be born from above and that's how some people are is they they hear what he's he's saying and they just kind of take them in a literal sense and a wooden sense if you will and Jesus is saying no it's the spirit who gives life the flesh prophets nothing the words I speak to your spirit and they're alive they are spiritual in nature you'd have to have a spiritual hunger the Holy Spirit has a work through these in order for you to be able to receive those things that'll transform you there's there's there's faith and belief in reception that's all involved if you're going to have a transformed life it's like when Paul was writing to the Corinthians and he had said the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God for their foolishness to him neither can he know them for they are spiritually discerned the natural man speaking of the unregenerate man the man who hasn't been born again he says the natural man doesn't receive that word receive means to welcome accept the natural the unborn again man the non-spiritual man doesn't welcome in the things of the Spirit why because they're foolishness the word foolishness in the original language means they they make no sense it's moronic it's embecilic because a man thinking in a natural way cannot understand the things of the Spirit so it takes the Holy Spirit to convict a person of sin righteousness and judgment it takes a Holy Spirit to enter into a person's life to take God's words and when mixed with faith to transform those into things understandable by that person so that they can have a relationship with God and move on in the life of the Spirit and so Jesus is speaking to people here who can't understand and so he says this is so offend you excuse me what then if you should see the sentiment ascend where he was before and he explains it it's a spirit who gives life the flesh prophets nothing the words that I speak to you our spirit they are life and so some things can only be understood through the lens of faith and again these hard sayings eliminated the lazy fair weather disciples the fact is some people are just not hungry for the bread of life that's in church as well as the world some people just don't hunger for the word of God a lot of people know what's on TV and plots and movies and various books much better than they know their Bibles because they really don't have a hunger for the things of God in Jeremiah 15 verse 16 said it like this Jeremiah the prophet said your words were found I ate them your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart for I'm called by your name oh Lord of hosts and so Jeremiah was saying I discovered your word I found your word and I consumed it because that causes joy in my life and that's the the mark of a believer that's a mark of somebody who loves the Lord well verse 64 says there are some of you who do not believe for Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe and who would betray him this is true whenever people gather together some claiming to be disciples don't believe them they don't they can hear them they can repeat them sometimes they'll know all kinds of information and I've seen this over the years or where many who profess to be Christians have no hunger or understanding of the word of God they just don't need it they just don't want it it it doesn't appeal to them for whatever reason maybe it's not saying the things they want it to say I don't know maybe it's said in a way where they don't appreciate the way it seems to have been said I really don't know all I know is there are people who go to church just like this one who don't want to hear have no desire happen to be there we'll find some place else to go someday that's just what they do they're not hungry there's no hungry in the hunger in them they're not like Jeremiah saying your words are found and I ate them I consumed them they gave me a life they gave me joy that's not true with everybody many claim to follow Christ but only those who trust him are their disciples are his disciples and again in verse 64 he knew from the beginning who they were who didn't believe he knew that they did not believe as a group but he also knew that Judas was rejecting he knew that Judas did not follow him and so in verse 65 he said therefore I've said to you that no one can come to me unless it's been granted to him by my father we cannot come to Christ unless a father draws us by his spirit if the soil is not prepared to receive the seed no effort on the part of the farmer will make that soil receptive and so with all of this that's being said notice this is taking place verse 66 from that time many of his disciples went back and walked with him no more now according to verse 59 he said these things as he taught in a in a synagogue in the city of Capernaum I want to now bring this to a place of application as we look at this passage together I want you to put yourself for just a moment put yourself in the synagogue you're there and the place is packed out remember the day before Jesus had fed 5,000 men not including women and children he had left and the people came looking for him and couldn't find him they got in the little boats and went up in the Sea of Galilee they went up to the north in the center to this village called Capernaum and they got off of their boats and they walked up and you can do that kind of thing to this day you can arrive at the shoreline and you can walk on up and they walked up into the city of Capernaum they walked up to the synagogue and Jesus was in their teaching so they entered in and so this small building was packed with people and as Jesus is there seeing them and ministering and giving him this message eat of my flesh drink of my blood I will raise them up at the last day and he's saying these things they're watching this rabbi and as they're watching him speak they're thinking within themselves this is a hard saying who could understand it this isn't the same as eating those fish burgers that we had yesterday this is different he's making demands on us we like the idea of somebody who could supply our physical needs whenever we're hungry he'll give us food we like that because Jesus earlier had addressed that he said you're following me not because of what I said but because I fed you and you were no longer hungry you're coming for physical food but you don't understand your spiritual need you want me to give you physical things but you don't want the spiritual things that come with me you don't want that and he challenged them he would offend them he stumbled them he said things directly to them because they needed to hear things directly some things need to be said plainly when my girls were were young girls and some boy wanted to take about if I didn't feel good about it I would say so I'm their dad I have the responsibility to reign on their parade I have the responsibility to making their lives miserable that's my job description but if I knew the guy was just not the right sort of guy for him what kind of father would I have been to not be honest with them he have to be honest with them lovingly honest do they always like hearing the truth no of course not no why because they've made up their mind that they know what they need but I have a different perspective and I would say the truth to them guess what some people don't like the truth say to us pleasant things say to us things we want to hear but don't tell us difficult things don't tell us hard things in the book of Ezekiel the prophet is given a message and God speaks to Ezekiel and he says to him might he says the people come before you and they sit before you as if they're my people but they're not my people he says you to them have become like a man with a pleasant singing voice who plays skillfully on a guitar and so they say to their friends come in here with the man of God has to say and they come and they sit before you they sit before you as if they're my people but they are not my people God told Ezekiel because they hear and they will not do and that's how it is oh yeah I love the Lord I love his word I love to worship oh I love those things but when the word goes out and cuts the heart that's when we know whether we really have a relationship with them when it's not easy to do what he's saying when it has a cost and when there are choices that are made I can't tell you listen you know I excuse me I have obviously this thing with my throat but let me tell you I've been at it for 48 years as a Christian I I've been teaching the word of God since September of 1973 45 years I have seen hundreds into the thousands as I have ministered over the years I've spoken to men 8000 9000 men at a time same message same thing this is what we need to do for years and years and years radio ministry that reached into the hundreds of thousands many people getting saved and many people rejecting and there are a lot of people who will come and a lot of people say oh come in here what the word of God is today but God said but that is Ezekiel they come and they sit before you as if they're my people but they're not well what do you mean they're not Lord what do you mean they're not they're not because they hear and they won't do because they listen but they don't with their heart they listen but they're not they like your voice they like the way you do oh yeah you got to hear this guy this guy here really says that the way it is but in fact they're not interested they're not they're not you know why because it's not being said the way they want to hear it they want to smile they want to laugh now that's not there's nothing wrong with either one of those two but what you got to see yourself in context here Jesus is in a synagogue these people were fed they got what they wanted they want more of it let's make him a king because he can give us things that we don't have to work for he'll just give us food and that's what Jesus said you're following not because of what I was saying but because I fed you he was clear about that he was there to feed their bellies he was there to feed their souls but because they listened and he made those claims they began to filter out every time I teach someone filters out every time every time sometimes they slam doors just let me know how much sure they are when they go they do that they do that I've been doing this for years I've seen hundreds hundreds I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear that give me pleasant words give me sweet words make me feel good about myself well sometimes you need to see what you are before you can see what you can become I needed to see myself as a lost miserable sinner because that's what I was a doper a druggy an evil man and I had to see myself for that before I could go to the physician who could make me well so truth sometimes is hard it can be difficult to hear but it sets you free and that's what Jesus said you will know the truth it'll set you free and so picture in your mind's eye these people just filtering out there was a packed hall and Jesus is watching them and his boys are with them and he's watching them as they're walking out verse 66 again from that time many of his disciples went back and walked with him no more they walked away and as Jesus watches the people flow out of the synagogue rejecting him he looks at his apostles and he asks them the most important question that he could ask and notice his question in verse 67 and this is where we're gonna rest for a while at the common question Jesus said to the 12 do you also want to go away do you also want to go away have I not met your expectations also now this question is asked with the anticipation of them saying of course not but still they need to look deeply within themselves they need to test themselves has Jesus stepped over a line should I stay with him or should I turn away now I am thoroughly convinced that mature believers will be asked this question and I say mature believers the Lord Jesus doesn't necessarily have to ask a backslider do you want to go away because they already have chosen to step away from him he doesn't have to ask a lukewarm person because that person's not doing anything to follow him anyway that's not a question you're gonna hear a luke warmer receive it's the one who's been serving God it's the one who's been following him it's like his disciples who had said we've given up everything to follow you we left family we left friends we left our business we left everything behind we began to follow an itinerant rabbi somebody that that is not really popular now we decided to do that to come and follow you when it when it cost it cost us everything we are people who want to serve you I'm I hope I'm speaking to some in this room right now who are of that stripe who have said my old life is gone I want to pursue the Lord with all of my heart I hope there are some people in this room right now who are saying within themselves I'm gonna be a Christian I'm gonna follow Christ no matter what the cost because that's the person who's gonna have this question asked this question is something that is asked of those who have said I've left all to follow you I'm gonna follow you with all of my heart I was I hated my life I hated what I was I hated what I did to other people I I hated the the aimlessness of my life I hated the fact that that I I just was mean and I was I was ruthless I was a liar a deceiver I hated those things about me those things that I hated I continued to do until you set me free and there's got to be people in this room like that where the Lord touched you one day and when the Lord said to you I will set you free I will make you new and you said God I'm gonna follow you no matter what and you lost your friends and you lost family members and and things became harder on the job and or in the school or whatever you became that freak that people didn't want to spend time with that's what happened to me that's what happened to me all my friends are gone it's a new life I'm starting from scratch and that's Christianity that's how it works I'm thoroughly convinced that mature believers will be asked this question do you also want to go away and so I want to speak to you today I want to share with you that spiritual depth does not come easily and spiritual depth does not come without a great price and remember that faith will always be refined in Job 23 10 through 12 Job said he knows the way that I take when he has tested me I will come forth as gold my feet have closely followed his steps I have kept to his way without turning aside I have not departed from the commands of his lips I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread and this is coming from the mouth of Job who is suffering with wounds on his body and the disrespect of his friends and the taunting of children he became the song of children taunting and ridiculing and yet what is he saying I remained faithful he tested me I'll come forth as gold my feet fall closely followed him I kept to his way I haven't departed I treasured the words of his mouth and this is what I got for it you ever been there you ever been there and this is what I got for it I lost my friends I lost my family I lost my dignity I lost everything when I was a doper and a drunk everybody that I knew kind of liked me because I was the clown I was alive for the party and when I got sober and started living a sober life and what happened to you you used to be fun look at you what happened to you and I would say how was your clown but now I'm not now I'm a servant of Christ I have dignity now I don't need your attention I need his and that's how I was that's what I became like I said I'm not going to be what I was I'm going to be brand new because Jesus makes all things new and he made me knew but that's what happens and so you decide I'm going to follow Christ I'm going to be his person well we need to remember that God demands total devotion not half-hearted curiosity and we need to remember that total vulnerability leaves you open to hurt and disappointment and you can even become hurt and disappointed with the way it seems that God is treating you remember that it's possible to love the Lord but not understand his ways because life events and circumstances can lead to the question do you want to go away believers as they grow come to understand that afflictions are part of the Christian life they're part of how God shapes us into the person he intends us to become it's part of how God conforms us into the image of his son Jesus Christ have you learned that in hard times you're more sensitive to the presence of God is it not true that when you're under pressure you pray more fervently and more often it's in the difficult times that we start searching the scriptures to find answers to our problems it's through difficult times and seasons that we are being refined like it says in Psalm 119 verse 71 it is good for me that I have been afflicted that I may learn your statutes Charles Virgin once said if we would be scholars we must be sufferers God's commands are best read by eyes wet with tears and that's true give you a brief testimony if I may please don't pass or no I'm going to I was 23 years old when I began ministering the word of God September of 1973 in September of 1974 I began a Bible study in Ontario and over time we planted our first church there as long as I can remember I've been blessed with good health I had my appendix removed I broke my wrist a broken ankle I have had hepatitis but over the years I never really went through anything that was very serious it all changed in early 2001 I experienced an episode of temporary amnesia but at that time it didn't cause that much concern in September of 2008 well in Florida I lost my memory I was hospitalized for three days I was giving a Bible study and and as I was teaching I went into a amnesia I was able to read but that was it I remember giving an invitation people came forward that should happen more often but people came forward I went down and I spoke to some people but I didn't know where I was and I was just operating you know in a way of just like the momentum was there but my wife Marie knew I had lost my memory she'd seen it happen more than once I still can remember her coming and standing next to me and I took her by the arm and I pulled her next to me and I whispered I don't know where I'm at you need to get me out of here so she did they took me to the back a paramedic came hooked me up with blood pressure it was 270 they said this man's going to have a stroke they took me to a hospital put me in a bed and I woke up at like one or two in the morning I had no idea where I was but my wife was laying in a cot next to me that's all I remember and they kept me there for three days and because they were so concerned about me they had me go through medical examinations again this is in September of 2008 I took a PET scan an EEG and EKG EKG and there was damage that was found to my front left and right temporal lobes that was caused by calcification and so they showed me the x-rays they said there's calcification your brain is dying so we have to send you to specialists to see what can be done so they sent me to a psychologist neurologist they tested my memory again this is in 2008 and as I was speaking to the doctor she said to me you have dementia the onset of dementia and I said okay I said be brutally honest and say things to me that are real and even frightening if necessary because if you don't give me any anything that causes any concern I have to be honest with you I'll do nothing she said okay here's the brutal truth you will be in a full state of dementia in seven years if you don't change some of the things you're doing I can't say anything any better than that so I looked at her and I turned to my wife Marie was seated next to me and I say to Marie I'm gonna go to the car can you take care of the rest of this for us and I wouldn't as anybody here ever done that 10 o'clock 2 o'clock thing with your steering wheel where you kind of sit behind it and you just do this you ever do that some of us have I sat there with here I sat like this I sat there looking out the window I still remember looking out the window going what am I gonna do what am I gonna do you see a minister's whole ministry is his memory and to lose my memory I lose everything and I sat there holding on to the steering wheel and Marie came walking out and she was ashen shirt little face was and she sits next to me doesn't know what to say and I looked at her okay honey what am I gonna do what am I gonna do and so we had a scheduled trip to go to Hawaii with the church and getting ready to go the doctor who had taken the scans and all said you need to come in and I told Marie I'm not going in I'm going to Hawaii might as well so I did and I got home from Hawaii and we made our appointment and we went in and so the doctor says to me you know sometimes we make mistakes there's nothing wrong with you there's nothing wrong you're okay and I remember going that's my God God was kind to me God was kind to me and so I thought well bless the Lord thank you Lord and so Marie and I went out for dinner a couple days later and while we're at dinner I got a phone call from my doctor my general practitioner and he said he said you have stage 2 diabetes and I said what kind of foods am I not supposed to eat and he told me and that was on my plate in front of me I still remember that I go no I can't eat this and so now I've been diagnosed with stage 2 diabetes at the same time I was having trouble with my vision I had to go to an ophthalmologist and he said you're in the early stages of glaucoma and you're developing cataracts I didn't know what glaucoma was if anybody here has been told you're getting developing it deal with it quickly I didn't I didn't know what it was I've lost 30% of my vision in my right eye and I had cataracts formed in my right eye they had to remove the cataracts I have to take drops now if I'd have known that you could take drops that would have saved me I would have taken the drops I was never told that so I lost 30% of my vision it's very difficult for me to see out of my right eye now and that's why sometimes you'll see me looking like this you may notice eventually I'm trying to wander here to see the words because I can't see very well out of my right eye and so that took place so a dermatologist I have to go to see him he said you're in the early stages of skin cancer so all of this took place between September and March of 2008 without within six months I'm getting all of these diagnoses the same time people begin to leave the church they're inviting others to go with them eventually one of my longtime staff members failed in ministry crushed my heart so it began to challenge me I began to wonder if it's time to leave ministry I wondered if my time here was over should I leave maybe there's something else for me to do I began to seriously seek the Lord I asked what am I to do is it time for me to go and it was it was a it was a dark dark time even to this day let me I'll be honest with that I forgot to tell the first service because I have a bad memory you know but but I've been healed no I have to take a medicine now I've been taking it that has changed the taste of food and so Murray and I had for many years the ritual of just getting a cup of coffee together I don't drink coffee anymore because the medicine I take has taken away the taste of food so everything doesn't taste good anymore for me and so there are little things that were my life that are being taken away small things but important things little things that my life was built on my coffee time with my wife things like that what an uplifting message huh I'm trying to be real with you guys common question do you want to go away do you want to go away what am I to do Lord well I began to learn that the difficult times strip away the trivial things and exposes the eternal you get a clearer vision your will is strengthened your faith is refined as I said the day that I heard the prognosis of dementia I went in sat in my car he had she had given me seven years I began to think I was 58 I was thinking seven years I'll be 65 I had hoped to be able to do some things and continue doing things and and now I'm thinking I've got a seven year time and I told Maria I said listen honey I said if the day ever comes where where I cannot I cannot I can't recognize you put me in a home and let me be alone I don't want you to see me like that I don't want you to suffer my wife said I'll put you in a home right now no she said that was her plan all along she said of course I'll never leave you I met and married you and I'll stay with you I said I don't want you to go through this with me that's where it got the medicines I take by the way have a side effect of opening my emotions have you noticed that that's a fact I'm not playing with you I don't cry you might find that interesting I don't it's not that I can't it's just that I don't why would I but when I open up like this and the medicines are kicking in I'm being real you know it's hard to control the tears forgive me for those who are uncomfortable with it but I just it's hard to control because the medicines have a side effect and that is it breaks down what I normally would be able to do and it opens me up in a way I'm not comfortable with but it's me it's what I am and I'm living with it some of you understand others you wonder why is that guy crying I wonder to but when I open up it just does forgive me some of you are uncomfortable but that's what I was going through I began to ask myself is my wife ready for me to leave are my children prepared have I been the best father husband grandfather that I could be I began to think of my ministry I had thought I'd be here for years so I began to prepare my staff to handle the church if someday I can't but it also helped me to answer the question is it time for you to go away do you want to go away my answer then is the same as it is now no I have nowhere to go you have the words of eternal life many years ago when I was a young man in my early 20s I went through a crisis of faith and I went through a very deep pit of despair a sense of depression that I'd never experienced before to the degree that I stopped leaving the home for a while I started actually just staying in the house and and I would place my I would sit on my bed with my back to the wall and my sister Madeline would sit next to me and and I couldn't even speak to anybody I I was weeping uncontrollably for days for days the depression hit me in such a severe way that I wasn't leaving the house except for necessities and that and it got so bad and my my sister Madeline would sit there and just cry with me I couldn't speak to anybody I'd never been in such a bad place and I opened up the Bible I opened it up to this passage here and I began to read and then the question Jesus said do you also want to go away I still remember reading it and closing the Bible and I said where can I go and I spoke to the ceiling in my parents house and I said where can I go I have no friends I gave up everything I'm going to Bible college I want to be a pastor but I don't know what to do I can't take it anymore father you got to do something my heart is broken it's a lot of my testimony that you guys don't know but there's been a lot of hurt and I opened the book up again my Bible Lord to who to who would we go you have the words of eternal life and I knew that that was the Lord speaking to me in a way that was recognizable and for that moment and I started to cry and I said God forgive me I haven't understood you I've blamed you for my pain and I know that even your wounds that you bring are intended to be healing and I receive from you and that's when my healing began that's when my journey into more ministry took place so a long time ago this question was asked of me and I said you are the Christ you are the son a living God your word and the evidence of your work has caused me to believe in you you are my Messiah you are God's son I will follow you and in that decision there's no turning back I have believed your promise I will hold fast to you well Jesus in verse 70 says did I not choose you the twelve and one of you is a devil he spoke of Judas is carry at the son of Simon for it was he who would betray him being one of the twelve well Peter had spoken out of turn he had said we have come to believe and that would include Judas but Jesus corrects him huh one of you is a devil you're working on the side of Satan Psalm 41 9 even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted who ate my bread has lifted up his heel against me no Peter not every one of you has received my words of life Judas rejected him see so I came to the point where I realized that I could receive or reject the men received Judas rejected which one was I going to be I decided to land on the side of life and I followed Christ and I'm encouraging you today because listen this may not seem like a message that is upbeat because in many ways it's not but it's real a lot of you are going through tough times a lot of you have gone through pain a lot of you are right now probably hearing you want to give up and I'm here today to tell you don't it gets better God doesn't leave you God doesn't forsake you God loves you God will heal you and God will use you that's what I'm here to tell you today that's what I'm here to tell you today don't give up don't give up hold fast it all turns out great one of these days you look in the eyes of Jesus Christ and you will say it was worth it every single thing was worth it thank you Lord and so I'll close with a poem it's called the race it's about a young boy who had fallen three times during a race as his father was there watching him run and this is called the race defeat he lay there silently a tear dropped from his eye there's no sense in running more three strikes I'm out why try the will to rise it disappeared all hope had fled away so far behind so error prone a loser all the way I've lost so what's the use he thought I'll live with my disgrace but then he thought about his dad who soon would have he'd have to face get up an echo sounded low get up take your place you were not meant for failure here get up win the race with borrowed will get up it said you haven't lost at all for winning is no more than this to rise each time you fall so up he rose to run once more and with the new commit he resolved that win or lose at least he wouldn't quit so far behind the others now the most he'd ever been still he gave it all he had and ran as though to win three times he'd fallen stumbling three times he rose again too far behind to hope to win he still ran to the end they chaired the winning runner as he crossed the line first place had high and proud and happy no falling no disgrace but when the fallen youngster crossed the line last place the crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race even though he came in last with bowed head low unproud you would have thought he won the race to listen to the crowd and to his dad he sadly said I didn't do so well to me you want his father said you rose each time you fell and now when things seem dark and hard and difficult to face the memory of that little boy helps me to win my race for all of life is like that race with ups and downs and all and all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall and with Jesus Christ we can rise we will love we will not fall we can rise