 Tibure no ni maombi nani Siyo juju ni maombi Good morning My name is Valentyn Or at Kalamiva You're watching your favorite channel That is Y254 in particular The latest breakfast show in this hair town That is Y in the morning We run from 7 through 10 in the AM Monday through Fridays That means we're daily Daily dose of morning goodness In short Yani in a nutshell Ya You can find us on WTFF on Facebook Y254 channel on Twitter Hashtag is Y in the morning Now I feel like this is a series Because last week on Wednesday We had a very, very powerful lady Her name still is Silvia Omboy And today we have her partner in crime Or in criminalism Or in love I don't know But anyway we have her partner in studio Her name isn't Yoki Mwangi And she's about to blow your mind away If you don't believe me Please stay for the interview Thank you Hashtag is Y in the morning Or WCW Good morning How are you? Cool Asuna, just sit and warm up And kizungu kizungu yetu But please introduce yourself to the viewers Hi My name is Njoki Mwangi I'm a counselor Marriage and family Counselor My background is law I'm a partner With Silvia at Starwe Wellness We deal with matters of family Marriage Anything that starts with family Family is the foundation of every institution I'm very glad you said that Because I have a question Just before we get into all this There's recently we had a topic On an evening show And we were trying to figure out Why is it that when I don't know if this age bracket is just for the ones We're talking to That is the youth But we ask the question Why is it that when you're in trouble The last person you call is family The first person you call is your friend Or if you have a business idea The first person you want to business with Is your friend, not your family Why is it like that? I think majorly is so much of How you grow up as a family Where you close Where you close Yeah I mean in families Sometimes there are rules That are there Sometimes you're told You're not supposed to ask And spoken rules You're not supposed to feel So it just depends with how How close you are You know you could be family and you're not close That's why someone would be a complete introvert in their own home Like when they come out Atupumui Just extrovert Kelae le tu Yeah And it seems most times that Sometimes somebody is Very close outside To other people they know their secrets and everything Even their troubles But nobody in the family knows And when the time of trouble People are asking How come they never told me So I think also just being able to understand That you could actually be family But if you've never really been close You're not really friends It's just blood And damu too Okay Tell us about how you got into Starway Wellness with Sylvia So how we started Starway Is with Sylvia is First and foremost we were classmates Doing our masters Oh Sorry Not just classmates, masters Okay sorry Yes In family and marriage therapies So we realized that our interests Are very common And we clicked in so many areas Especially in loss I think that is one of the Places that we connected it And the fact that we're also Very open to helping And very compassionate We're able to really connect So we started Starway Starway means Prosperity You know Starway is kiswaili Kustawi Prosperity Flourishing So just talking about The people who will be working with Are going to flourish And prosper Who came up with the name? You ever You look like the criminal here You don't have to come up with it I think we compliment each other In so many ways That's true Yeah That's true I mean you talk to it Sylvia I'm the noisy one The old art Service the more organized She's so sweet Yeah Are you trying to say No Job you Swaibu Yeah so we started Starway But other than that I've been I've done counseling before At a certificate level And a diploma I started From loss From loss of my mother My first degree is low So I went into counseling because of Just trying to find myself And dealing with the pain That I was experiencing I was totally lost When I lost my mom Why did you choose counseling? A lot of people use other methods To vent if I may say Konon yata ingia pwambi The people go to drugs The people probably just lock themselves up In the house The people fall into depression Why counseling? I guess there was really nothing else For me to go to I'd seen people drinking And getting worse I had seen Just people going into bad relationships And all that So for me I think In fact it was Counseling wasn't to help others When I started counseling It was for me Just to understand First and foremost I couldn't understand myself I was very angry And also started thinking Did I even really Was I really that child That my mom wanted me to be? Did I really Did I disappoint her in life? Because of heavy thoughts Yeah I mean you start Beginning within yourself Then of course I was like At some point I was very angry With my mom I'm thinking Why would you die? I was wrong with you Why would you die? Who gave you permission? Yeah I mean we just need you My baby is just small I'm just trying to learn To be a mother And then God I just couldn't understand Why God take my mom Yeah So I went to counseling Not to help others To find help for myself Yeah And let me tell you Something that is very interesting Loss Loss can Just break you It can ruin your career Like for me I totally moved out of law It can ruin your marriage My husband Wasn't able to understand What I was going through I would wake up in the morning Feed the baby and go back to bed And when he's coming back In the evening he finds me in bed And unfortunately For people like Kazu A bubbly Somehow when you're outside You're laughing and talking But when you With your own You're dying You're dying by yourself There's Okay I'm a fan of memes Memes are just you know Funny pictures with funny captions But this is not so funny Because it shows Like as someone who has a mask Mask ni smiley So they're smiling But inside they're dying And that's a very heavy Burdent career Especially when you're the one Who's supposed to be funny And the one's supposed to be The life of the party And plus if you're the ones People think you're strong Like ma mam died out of the country She died out of the country Seeking treatment And I'm the first born in the family Oh Response built So Of course everybody who came to our home said Jika is a wendio You're the first born here Take care of the other children My husband had gone to help my dad Bring back the woody So I think I just went through managing By the time we're burying ma mam It's just managing Managing So I don't think I had time to grif So I was grieving later When everybody had Relaxed Had moved on and they're thinking Okay You're not over this? Kwa ni Si ma mam has been sick for so long Si fura yama pwum zika Wow She's in a better place Ya She's in a better place Ya But people say things People say things And they don't know what they are saying But it's okay We forgive you Because you don't know And I think many times it's They just look for a way to comfort you They don't know I don't think the intention is to hurt you They just trying to find a way Tell me how all this hurt And all this grief Turned into something good Because you have a very Very uniqueness She deals with inmates And I think that's fantastic So how did you turn this grief into good And how did you find yourself Kater into inmates So now Of course I've got to counseling And I start doing it professionally And then at some level I think I think it's good to go to masters So that's why of course I met My partner, Sylvia And With time I started realising too Now in my class of course Being a lawyer The teachers would ask me What do you think about The legal perspective of this And of course would have Those kinds of conversations That are very deep And I remember one time those This Program on TV about An inmate I think would be Putting for life Kus of something The daughter had said And it kind of Just started sparking Conversations within me One time actually one of our Classmates talked about Somebody who had gone for Canceling and This guy had been released The time he moved out of prison The home he knew Where the sister was The sister had moved out And I think he had 200 shillings So he started sleeping in the Streets And would look for jobs And he wasn't getting jobs So at some point he had Contemplated to commit suicide So I think how even he came To the place where I think he just So the place used to do cancelling He saw across Signifying a church and he thought Before I do this thing Let me just Go in here What the church is saying So that So that is one aspect The second aspect is Having somebody in my family Being falsely convicted And in prison So that Now opening the area of Realizing By the way Not all people who are in prison Are actually criminals Yeah Two things First of all In your earlier statements You said that grief can Ruin your career But honestly Me na na puni divine intervention Sasa uli atatuna I don't got to All of you can get counseling Now look at you using everything All at once It's amazing It's so amazing Because I think for a long time I thought I'm done away with With law And I think after interacting with Inmates and especially the children We do a lot of visits in committee Kamae girls and YCT And I'm going there and I'm thinking Okay There are some of these things I think they are just legal And there is the Counseling bit of it So out of that We started a prison's ministry Yeah I want to ask But I also have family That is in counseling And I know there are Very many things that you can't tell me But I just really Would like to understand Maybe the life of someone in prison Like I Mimimu nyesu juimu nyesu deyenda Like maybe the view who is looking at us And trying to figure out See inmates they are mefunguwa Sialifaya took it unbaya Sia kaya tunuoko But the way you said You know you could be in prison And you have not done anything But got two upwards System two Ili Ili Glitch took kidogo Took kidogo to No kajpato kondani So maybe what's What's the life like What kind of personalities Have you come across? Wow quite many First and foremost I think there are two of them I would say generally There are those ones who went in for crimes They committed and they admit And they say yeah I did this thing Circumstances or ABC I was Maybe I was broke Or maybe we got involved into a fight And they killed this person by mistake And they admit But then there's that at a category Even 10 years, 20 years later They will say I never did it So the most interesting thing About the people in prison They will say the truth After all what do they have to lose They already inside They will say it And even for the children That we've talked to When we go to them They say yeah I have learnt my lessons That's a hard way to learn a lesson Very difficult Very very difficult But I think one of the interesting things Is that the chaplains who are there That they are able to walk with them This journey And they come out as very different people I mean those are the people We are working within ministry I have two people who I work with And we go visiting They actually came from the system And I mean they just Profound other things they do And they go back and they help people Who have been there Yeah Pre Covid Before Covid-19 Slapped us with physical distance And wearing a mask And no public events And all these things How are you dealing with the inmates Like how often did you go visit What would you do when you visit What happens when they're released Okay maybe you're Tamalizana I've gone ahead of myself So maybe tell me that So okay So we started actively in July last year So we're about one year Happy birthday Thank you So Would go monthly Especially in committee To minister to the boys and girls The youngest we saw We saw was about 14 years What? And then about 20 or 21 And of course Hey let me tell you Valari The first day I went there Was fighting tears Was just balancing the beer And I went back to the car And I cried And I thought oh my god I don't think I'll ever come back to this place The pain is too much I mean these children were the ages of my sons And then the second time One of the guys who were going to me To end the jikaze utazoya Then we went the second time So this time I was like ah okay At least also their familiar faces And seeing them excited to see me And called me auntinjoki Oh I thought oh Third time my friend Tukatu na gojaku enda We were wondering Nalala na viatu I'm telling you Panga pumbu okilakitu Would do shopping like two days before Cause we're excited Actually we had one baby born In prison and we did shopping We did diapers Went and dedicated the baby It was awesome The most fulfilling experience you can have Okay I'm in process What's okay? Okay What happens to the child When it's born in prison? Like Analala wa tuapo So for the ones There is actually a special place in Where is it? I think it's somewhere in western Where they take care of these young mothers So that one of course was born there And they know how to be transferred To such place where by Even as she's going on with her school The child can be taken care of Ya so we've been doing Actively we've been doing visits Every month In December last year Actually in November So I asked the children So what do you want for December And they gave me a shopping list And as they gave me the shopping list I thought oh my god Why did I even ask Who's over when I thought eh eh eh Then I came and of course Talked to our friends Our partners See if I was one of the major fundraisers Of that event They wanted boozy They wanted soda They wanted mkate Biski I mean all sorts of things And then they had a special request They said To lete what we are agitu Oh what is it I mean they've been seeing grown ups So they want to relate to Their brothers and sisters That is a special kind That is a way So we mobilized We mobilized And imagine now Imagine having to tell Like your friends or where Like we mobilized People from our estate We mobilized People we know And of course some parents are wondering You're taking my child To the prison Are they protected Are there gods there How sure am I But I think out of trust I think we had 55 of us We had to hire a bus Kuna fako mca busi Eh? Kuna kuna Mami akitze Thank you for the compliment So we went 55 of us Kutokasu bui I think nine we left at five Wow We had fun We cooked We did dancing competitions Oh it was awesome Awesome So of course we were planning to have something in April It didn't happen because of covid Yeah so I'm really missing those kids I'm wondering how they are And the visits Possible I was going to say frequent Of course they're not frequent But are they possible right now If you wanted to I'm not sure We've not done any visits Because Remember also they are quite vulnerable You really want to expose them So they're quite restricted Actually they're the safest ones Of us Yeah because remember When the lockdown came That was one of the places That were shut down Oh Yeah So meaning even the visits That would get from families They don't get So that is actually With time now we're working closely with With the chaplins and they say you know We don't have tissue We don't have toothpaste And I mean It's been a very interesting time Because just a small group of people Will mobilize within a week And if I'm less than a week I think I've learnt prison ministry for Especially my youngest brother His name is Toro I didn't know even he does prison ministry In his church Oh Look at you too Imagine So we come in and he does it I mean it's effortlessly I mean and he knows people there And the church really supports Narobi Lighthouse church So I'm learning a lot from them as well Yeah I have so many questions for you as a person But before that Let's just stay Stay up past our wee wellness Sindio Have you ever interacted with these children's parents The inmates And would you inmate, see at me Mutua meiba kuku 35 years old Mekondan You've had the youngest is 14 years old Atat Yuktuni heart breaking I can't find any prison 14 years old I can't remember the worst thing I did when I was 14 In fact I think I didn't want to go Pupi go slap na mam The most But kuna mutua kukumiti jamani It's okay Have you ever interacted with the parents We haven't been able to interact with the parents The first time we would have been able to interact We would have been able to interact with them in April Where we had been invited for the visiting day They do visit in days during school holidays So the people at Kamaigals and YCTC boy Had told us you know some of these children The parents don't visit them So come visit in day We want you guys to be the parents So that would have been the first time we were actually Going to interact with the parents Because when we go we just go by ourselves Now How do the inmates relate with their parents Perhaps maybe as a counsellor Ukiwangalesha Are they close Ni mutua neza pigiasimu Like aneza kujokumona every other weekend Or how is that relation Because by the time they are starved to see you And Sylvia And just basically starved That means there's a whole somewhere there's a gap And I think one of the most interesting things That people should understand Is When people talk about inmates They think of the people in prison But remember these inmates had a family And in Kastlin we look at it Systemic, like you're looking at How does the arrest of this person Of the imprisonment affect the wife How does it affect these children If it's a child How does it affect the siblings Or the parents And you realise that Especially for the grownups Actually I was doing a study and they were saying Within the first year 100% Of the women lost their marriages 100% 100% Atakuna 99.9 Atata disinfectant kills 99% Of jams 100% In the US Then For the men is 89 Within the first year So really that tells you that Even this person If they released after 5 or 10 years There's no marriage People have moved on If he had children Where are these children Then secondly Most of the time especially for the men The men are the breadwinner Of wearing these children When you don't have kuzo kwa mashamba If you are married You don't have kuzo kwenyo kumio lewa So you have Maybe what we are talking about Is that kofi to kama izon Then the children because nobody talk to them Remember inmates are getting counseling Inside there So who is counseling Who is counseling the family Who is counseling the wife and the children So for us as Tawi That we started is the focus on the family Because we know that at least the inmates Somebody is talking to them We pray that we will be able That when somebody is putting We are able to interact with the family From the very beginning Talk about the losses they are having The separation The children attachment you lost Your mother is not there Your father is not there If it's apparent your child is not there So of course some of them Can you imagine how many of them They lose relatives When they are still inside there How are you losing your own blood Are you not connected? So for example if somebody lost a dad And they can't go for the funeral How do they deal with that? My whole choice Even you lose a child And you can't go for your child's funeral Or a wife So it's a very I think it's one of those things That are very complex So for the children Some of the children Children come from different places And some of them the parents Come from very poor backgrounds So some of them must stay even one year Without seeing their parents So who becomes the parent You and me When we see them Aunty Jo Ki Aunty Sly And other aunts They have several aunts Okay I want to give you two scenarios And I want them to be extreme Please bear in mind It's not just these two scenarios But I want you to explain to me How you deal with a child Who has committed a crime Who is unapologetic And whose parents have said Oh you think you know everything I was a child I was a child And then the second No first tell me that one Before we go to the second one It's quite a catch 24 situation Because Some children get into peer pressure And sometimes They even won't listen to the parents And the parents get frustrated And some of the children who are actually in prison Are cause of that They are there because When I say I'm tired You go stay there I mean until you are rectified But you know It's actually You don't call it a prison It's a correction center So they correct you They correct you And I think Just having conversations with these children And they tell you I did ABCD I've been here for one year And this is how I've been transformed And I realized There is nothing that is impossible They just need somebody to work with them there And their lives change Their lives change But of course they are better Some of them actually they did things They were put there but they are very angry with their parents So helping them As cancelers and other spiritual ministers Who go there To be able just to deal with The anger of separation Abandoned Sometimes they feel rejected Yeah But it's interesting because they have We have a very strong team That goes there consistently and talking And some of them when they are looking at you They are sizing and they feel like I can identify with Val And they just come to you and they start giving you a story So they developed a connection with you So you ward I mean what you tell them they just Their hearts They listen Coronavirus we are tired We are tired of you Thanks we'd like to move on with our lives Thank you We are counting We are counting So the second scenario is Someone who Is in prison I want to say because of a glitch somewhere Maybe they were A glitch somewhere Like they were falsely accused Or maybe they were just at the wrong place At the wrong time But the reaction is the same From the patterns like that Nikao me mo ebisha Arohata Chesachini mo rani ebisha Kwa supermarket chesachini Zasakao But was prison surely what I did They might even decide they don't have a child anymore Maybe if they had three now in prison Now they've become two So So You see there's a lot of stigma With issues of justice and crime Nobody wants to be associated with a criminal And It's actually interesting some of the people Who are actually in prison They are their children Don't know they're in prison Some of them They will not be told So where is the pattern The job can barely Something like that But then also In the nini of trying to protect You see even children can make fun And say Your mother So somehow that stigma Some people won't even talk about it So imagine me as a parent Who has a child In prison People will just somehow imagine it's me I didn't do my parenting right What kind of a parent are you So some of them even won't say Wana samatuli and abudin pahali Anaishina and tiake pahali Because of the stigma Because of the stigma So we hope that's what I'm saying I think as now moving As Tawi and the prison ministry Moving away from the inmate And going back to the family And talking about Because wumtu atatoka 5 years 10 years 20 years later How is the environment As they come back 3 years they come back That they're able to be accepted back In the society Otherwise Ataku kifanyu tuka kituka dogu Kwa you village Even if it's not me So imagine there are people Who have not seen the children In many years Because the children don't know Wana fukiru wako job inje And of course the parents Who are angry and thinking I don't want to see you I think just as People who are outside here Just been the point of contact And giving them hope And letting them know that You know what Can find meaning Last year we talked about Writing a new script Like a novel Every page has a new chapter So what do you want the next chapter To be about I think there is a Misconception Because People who give a lot Are seen to have so much Ya ni u kuna pesami Ki adi mi fukos mejaz Kwa kwa jo kus dumia Badu tukuna pesa suona zatu But in my experience The people have come across They don't really They are not sheikhs Or daughters It's just will And where there's a will there's a way If I wanted to give If they wanted to be a part of Maybe what you're doing Or something related Or just any other ministry And they just wanted to give I want you to encourage them Or tell them So that is that giving Or you don't have to Have it I don't know what your perception Of big is or rich is But imagine that You don't have to have that That's what I want them to understand Can you translate I want to give this scenario Of How much is a tissue paper Kuna zamba Ka tu peska lakadogo ni how much That's 50 shillings How long do you need To use that tissue If you've been to boarding school Like me you know how to Be resourceful with this Imagine you're 50 But somebody who needs it Kama ita ya COVID There are no visits To the prisons How many months is it From lockdown We started things We started things Much, much Most hope So akunu atu anu api lakia tissue Toothpaste Pads, how much is a packet of pads Less than 100 shillings Ya So actually you don't need big money And even when we've been called upon By the chaplains to donate things I'm telling you I don't need big companies It's just one time we went By Kenya Dento Association For toothpaste We wanted 400 pieces So generous they gave us 800 My friend told me Everything is double double And I think it's just a willing heart When you open up your heart The Lord just brings the resources And the people Ya I don't know I don't know Aunty why isn't it It's Let me tell you something Valery Valentine Val Even the person who committed Mother Deserves a second chance Ya If they ask for forgiveness The Lord will But you're asking a lot sometimes What if they murdered someone of mine Am I supposed now just forgive you It's a difficult place I mean that's The place where only God can touch And give forgiveness Ya because Even if you hold that grudge The person will come back It's true It's true Just find the meaning Just find the meaning Just find the meaning Imagine like Rwanda and the cases of Journal site Ya Why wouldn't we just sit and Work through issues together Rwanda I think has a whole generation Full of just people with PTSD Post-traumatic stress So everybody has their own share But they have found forgiveness In their heart Yes Now what happens to these children After they've been released What happens to those who have Okay again two scenarios One who's been released and has nowhere to go They have been released into the world Mengia prison Or correction facility And that's it At Kujui, at Kutaki Chizakawa we go up with God So I think one of the things We are trying to come up with Is what you are calling the halfway homes Whereby when you are released And you have nowhere to go That you can come here And we feed you We equip you with skills And even look for people who can give you jobs Because some of them are trained They do nice food work They can do bead work So just looking for people who can support Who can support And of course we are hoping That we will be able to vet And know the kind of people we are getting Secondly, just before Covid We had reached this place Of In December there was a very large crowd Of children when we went So the next time we went In February they had reduced And of course I was excited That some of the children had gone But I kept wondering so where did they go And of course I asked the chaplain So what happens when they live here And some of them they go back To those families They go back, they may not go to school And so we had started that conversation Of Can we get sponsors to take them back To school Can we support their families Also Because some of those children Maybe they were selling drugs Because they needed to make a livelihood Yeah, some of them are caught up in prostitution We are talking about children's tale Yeah Okay Let me You know When you release from prison What is the code Code of what Good conduct Imagine when you release It's convict And nowadays when you want a job When you want a job When you want a job It's like your fate is already sealed So I pray that in the future That People will be given a chance Just to prove they've changed Because now you can deliver You have children It can go on for generations Because of Somebody's mistake Why should their children suffer Have you encountered A personality Or maybe an instant Where someone has been released But has not been corrected At all Has no intention of being remorseful Or changing In fact, I think I told him We have a correction of facility We have a house We have food and bed It's very interesting Because some of the very repeat cases Most of them They go back because That is where there is a sense of belonging That is where they are loved Because outside here The world is so harsh Then you can have food You're guaranteed of food You can't see Mzuri Sana But you can have breakfast And there's shelter And you're not paid rent So for you And the category The children Between 25 and 35 There are so many It just pains me To see their life just wasted And some of those crimes Sincerely I don't think They deserve to be custodial sentences I think they should be non custodial We have to serve time Akiwa inje Afagia Community service Because we come to 10, 15 years By the time they come out they are 55 Their life is gone To them marry But there are good cases Last week a friend of mine told me Who's been visiting Now he's on his honeymoon I beg I know those stories Just keep you going So he just left this Just got hit like that And the waifu understands him Because he told the truth Because that's my next question He had to tell the truth He had to Alright, so In conclusion If I'm not an inmate If I'm not a parent If I'm not married And I am watching I'm done talking And they are watching And they want to reach out Either you or Sylvia What can Starway Wellness Offer us as the youth Because it's the youth station What can you offer us? So Starway has We have individual Or personal therapy So we do that at a personal level We also have family Where you can come as a family Like losses Losses affect a family We have marriage, kapu therapy We have disputes Sometimes you are not able to resolve them We have Of course we have begun loss Loss and grief That also Of late because also we are not doing A lot of one on one counseling We are doing a lot of zoom and online Meetings and just empowering people Ya On the evening show yesterday I asked my DJ What his identity was Like for example If for example The act of being a disc joki Was rendered redundant Literally because COVID-19 has beaten us In the entertainment industry But if it was completely rendered obsolete Would he Be lost in himself Would he now start finding himself again Because everything was helped on being a DJ So maybe In that respect Would you tell us what identity is Because I think that's something we struggle with We spend a lot of our years Our young years is trying to figure out who we are And either we are angry Or we are jealous Or we are lashing out on other people And it's not fair It's not fair on me It's not fair on the person It's just not fair And it's just because I don't even need to ask you You just exude self-awareness How can we get there Oh I love that question It's a very good one because People are struggling now with I mean when loss of jobs Where am I anymore Our identity comes a lot Is informed a lot from our families Of origin where we are born What you are told growing up Childhood experiences What did you teacher Say No one of my teacher said I want to just interrupt you a little bit So we can take a short break So that we finish with that question Because it's important guys I talk at 5-4 on Facebook 5-4 on Twitter We have not finished Thanks