 Your coca-cola bottler presents, Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Frankin. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Mom, I wish you wouldn't work so hard. I like that coming. Gives me a nice, satisfactory feeling. I also wish you'd let me help. I had the baby weeks ago. Not even three, so sit still. Besides, you're more of a help doing nothing. Whee! The telephone! I can answer it, can't I? That'll give you a nice, satisfactory feeling. Oh, I wonder who it is. Why do we always have to go through that? You better turn off the vacuum, Mama. Oh, all right. Yeah, she's here. For you, Mama. You don't have to sound so disappointed. Well, give it to me. I just don't know who it is. I can find out for myself. Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Brown. Oh, I see. I see. Mama, who is it? Or I will if I can. Yes. Yes, what? Thank you for calling. Goodbye. Well? Aunt Louisa's made. She's taken sick. The maid? Claudia, Aunt Louisa. She asked for me to come right over. Oh, I bet she's crying wolf again. Claudia, a little respect. Oh, I respect Aunt Louisa a lot. I think it's wonderful she's lived to be so old. But certainly no fault of hers. I hope she lived to be a good many years older. I suppose you do have some kind of feeling toward her, just seeing as she's my father's only sister. But otherwise, she's not your type. Too many allergies, Mama. One of them on the loose right now. Are they inheritable? I'd hate to think of my son having... No, more than your faults. That's a relief. Well, I suppose I better go. I hate to leave the house in the middle of cleaning it. The tidy soul will survive, Mama. Go on, get out, Scott. Go see Aunt Louisa. Your cut took so pang. Maybe I can finish cleaning the living room first. You better hurry. She might be better before you get there. I was going to clean up the kitchen, too. It's a worse mess. So it's a mess. Who cares? I don't. I do, but I guess I'd better go. I'll be back as soon as I can and finish then. Don't hurry. Here's your hat. Thanks. Claudia, just one warning. If I find the house any cleaner or neater when I come back, if I find that you have lifted one finger, I shall be furious. And I mean it. I won't lift even one pinky. Why don't you take a nap? Your son is. Me nap? What for? What for do you think? Now, Claudia, I am serious. Oh, Burr, so am I. I'll be back at the latest in time to get dinner ready. I am tired of being treated like an orchid. You look more like a ragweed. Thank you. Now, remember, I want to find things in just as much of a mess. And take that mischief out of your arse. I won't touch a thing. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Mrs. Brown's residence? Oh, it's only you. I was using my party voice. Hello, David. No, Mama's not here. She's gone out. No, I'm not doing anything. Mama says I shouldn't do a thing. Oh, you're as bad as Mama. I promise, I promise, I promise. Oh, David, I forgot something. I love you. Most of all. Oh, and Bobby sends his love. All right, I'll pull his ear for you. Goodbye. A book. I suppose I could read a book. Look at this page. How'd you know I was wishing for somebody to talk to? You are a mother now, but you have not changed so fast. Hello, Mrs. Norton. My, you're looking wonderful today. Come in, come in, come in. I come to call on young Mr. Norton. Young Mr. Norton, I'll be very happy to see you. Take off your hat. No, no, no. For young Mr. Norton, I keep on the hat. Bobby's in the bedroom. Just two minutes ago he asked me when he was going to see you again. So? Yes. Then I have come at the right time. It's only one thing that matters at the time, Bertha. Is something wrong? Mama had to go out and David isn't home all. They'll be furious with themselves when they heard you've been here. They will live. The baby gained half a pound. How's Fritz? Fritz is fine. Good, half a pound. Yeah. Oh, such a big boy. Pretty soon he's taller than you. Oh, I hope he'll be. He's so fast, Mrs. Norton. One day my Lisa, she was a little baby and now I'm a grandmother. Yes, it goes very fast. Sometimes I can't bear to hear the clock ticking. But when it goes slow, that's not good. Bertha, it should seem fast. Now, my hat is on straight. We go in. Oh, you don't have to tiptoe. He doesn't wake up for anything. That's a good sign. The baby should not care for anything except to sleep and eat for a year. A year? Or he's a vegetable. So so. Ah. I see him. So warm. I haven't bothered to put any blankets over him. Oh, he's gotten so numb. Look, he can't bend his legs. They're so fat. He can't straighten them out either. Just like what I thought. What is? He will look like his father. Oh, you better not tell David that. If he thinks there's any resemblance between him and this sleeping vegetable, he'll be furious, furious, outside, but inside, smiling. You've been picking up, if you like. No. Oh, he's still here. Libeous kid. What a little fellow you are. We like him. Sometimes I look at him and I can't believe he's mine. I feel like a mother, and yet I... I don't feel like a mother. You are a mother. Tiptoe toes, you will never forget. You bet I won't. Well, I feel warm in here. Why don't we go sit in the living room? Yeah, but I only stay a moment. Oh, Bertha, don't rush away. You'll hurt my feelings. I think you really didn't come to see me. Well, I didn't. You don't have to be so blunt about it. Mrs. Brown, she's well. She's fine, but she's working too hard. She won't let me do a thing around the house. I'm nervous away for a vacation, so you'll just have to forgive the mess around here. Oh, it's not such a mess. But, uh, I think now the baby has seen me. I take off my hat. Good, then you're going to stay a while. And now I go into the kitchen. You stay where you are. You are company. Oh, but I'm not used to just sitting around. I go into the kitchen. Bertha, don't go in there. There are a million things around. Well, it's not so bad. When I first had the baby, my house was much worse. You probably didn't have any mama around. I was not so lucky. Bertha, what are you doing, rolling up your sleeves? Rolling up my sleeves. But what for? Here, now where is a big pot? Bertha, what are you doing? Nothing. I boil these two little baby things. Bertha, that's not what you're here for. It's a nice surprise for me. Oh, Bertha, come inside for having sex sit down. No, while we're waiting for the things to boil up, you have the vegetables for dinner. Oh, yes, they're in the ice box, but you're not to have anything to do with them. Oh, nice pot roast. Good. I fix it with a nice gravy. Bertha, you are a terrible guest. All you do is work, work, work, work. You work at home, you go visiting, you work again. It is nothing. I like to do this. I forget how just to sit in a chair and drink a cup of tea, and I like to help you. But you're not helping. You're doing everything yourself. If I don't mind, you do not mind. And I don't mind. Well, this is certainly wonderful of you. I feel like a nincompoop. A nice piece of meat. Maybe I should make a goulash. Goulash. You have carrots, I mean. Potatoes, parsley, celery. Yeah. I make a good Hungarian goulash. Mr. Norton, he will like it. He will love it. Oh, Bertha, we're really lost without you. Oh, no. But I like you to see. I can't wait till David and Mama come home and find everything all cleaned up. Dinner's all ready. The baby with his bottle. And me sitting on the sofa like Lady Beard. Hey, Claudia. Claudia, anybody home? David, you're home at last. At last, little mother. Well, you're looking very fresh and resting. I am. I am. Sitting down on the sofa with a book in your hand. Oh, I'm not reading. It's just a stage prop. Oh. I want you to notice I have been relaxing. Ooh, it's good to be home. How does blaze is down there? Oh, take off your coat, darling. I'll take a shower in a minute. How's the youngster? The young man is fine. He's been asking for you. He's all bathed. He's had six o'clock bottles, so he's through eating for another few hours. Good. Say, I thought you said this apartment was a mess. It doesn't look a mess to me. Doesn't it? No. I should hope not. I hope you haven't been cleaning up. Oh, no, no, no. I've been relaxing. Oh, that must be Mama. Mama, must that be you? It must be. Welcome into your house, Mrs. Brown. Sorry I'm late, but I'm Louisa. How is the old girl? No wonder Claudia has no manners. The old girl is not so well. There's a slight heart attack. Well, what do you know? I'm very glad I went. Well, now I'll get dinner on. We'll have to have scrambled eggs. It's so late. Oh, don't bother, Mama. I suppose it's going to cook all by itself. I'll put the roast in the oven and I'll mix some iced tea. Oh, iced tea. I'd like to bathe in it. What a day. I don't know why everybody's so warm. I'm cool as a pickle. Claudia, what have you done? I haven't done anything, Mama. David, will you come in here a moment, please? Coming, Mother. Why is everybody going in the kitchen? Why doesn't anybody stay with me? David, look at this kitchen. Well, I'll be. It's a mac. When I left it, it wasn't. What is that wonderful smell that's cooking on the stove? Goulash. What goulash? Onions. Wait till I give her a piece of my mind. Claudia, look me in the eye. Which one, Mama? Both. I thought you promised me. I'll take care of her, Mother. Claudia, have you no better sense than the wax of floor on a day like this? Oh, is the floor wax too? You must have been in that kitchen for hours. The baby clothes all washed, the bottles boiled, dinner on. It was a nothing. A nothing? Why, it would have taken me all day to do all that work. Oh, go slow, Mama. When a person's efficient, it just gets done as if by itself. Aren't you going to congratulate me? I am not. I'm going to take you over my knee and spank you. David, I love you. You have no more sense than you were born with. It's not sense. It's system that counts. It's not system. It's good, hard, elbow grease. Now, look at this living room, Mother. Vacuum, the tables, polish. And the window seals washed. I don't understand it after she promised me, David. I give up. I am so talented, Mama gets up. Yes, you are. I'll admit it. Thanks, Mama. Mrs. Norton, if I ever catch you acting so foolish again. Aren't you proud of me at all? Not at all. Not impressed, either. Oh, she doesn't look tired, David. I don't care how she looks. She has no sense. Well, you have exhausted if I had done all she had. Not if you'd done it the way I did, Mama. Sometimes the duties of a homemaker are lighter in summertime, but often they're even heavier. More laundry to do or get done. More dirt tracked into the house. Cooking is much more uncomfortable in the heat. Lady, you deserve the pause that refreshes. Why don't you take time out right now for a bottle of delicious ice-cold Coca-Cola? Oh, Mr. King, young master Norton is a sweet baby, isn't he? We think he is. I'm so glad it turned out so well. He's a good baby, too. Hardly cries. He's still very young. There's time. I know what you mean. The Norton should go back to the farm. It's very warm in New York for the baby, too. If you think it's warm today, Bertha, wait till tomorrow. The weatherman predicts a real sizzler. Another hot day. And how hot exactly you'll find out tomorrow. Till then, so long, Bertha. Nice to have seen you. Well, same with me. Goodbye, Mr. King. As I was about to say, every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is joking, saying, or a boar. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.