 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Standing Room Only, starring Paulette Goddard and Fred McMurray. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Not long ago, I heard of a man who visited our capital city of Washington, which Reader's Digest calls America's number one boom town. Not wanting to bother his friends late at night, he took what accommodations he could get. These consisted of a cot in a corner of an apartment house lobby for which he paid $14. In addition, he was charged $5 for keeping his car in the parking lot, this he put up with. But when he went to get his car the next morning, he found two men sleeping in there. He ordered them out, but they refused to budge. They said they'd paid the proprietor $3 apiece to sleep there. I guess that's only one of many such reports from the dizzy whirl of wartime Washington. And tonight's play on the Lux Radio Theatre is another and considerably more exciting story. It's the paramount comedy hit, Standing Ramonely. And our stars are the delightful Paulette Goddard and the personable Fred McMurray in their original screen roles. Take a bundle of surprises, wrap them up in Washington red tape, and you have the ingredients of tonight's play, in which an intriguing young couple find themselves very much in difficulty and end up... Well, you'll see how they end up. From having seen Washington recently, I can speak from personal experience of the conditions so amusingly presented in tonight's play. I visited one executive in an office curiously furnished with white tile and chromium. He reluctantly admitted it was a converted bathroom, the only space he could get. Naturally, I asked him, where's the Lux toilet soap? And without batting an eye, he opened the drawer of his desk, neatly stocked with shaving lotion, a safety razor, and of course, Lux toilet soap, showing not only resourcefulness, but good taste. And now, the footlights brighten for the first act of Standing Ramonely, starring Paulette Goddard as Jane Rogers and Fred McMurray as Lee Stevens. The Lamont Indiana is a five-story factory with a big sign on the roof reading, Todd's Toys for Girls and Boys. A great many people worked there, including Mr. T. J. Todd himself, his general manager, Mr. Lee Stevens, and a very pretty girl in the donkey department named Jane Rogers. But a few minutes ago, Miss Rogers was rudely ejected from the donkey department and was told in no uncertain terms to report immediately to Mr. Stevens' office. Excuse me, are you Mr. Stevens' secretary? Yes, I'm Rogers from donkey. Oh yes, Mrs. Beagle just called about you. Mr. Stevens is supposed to ball me out, maybe five minutes. Well, at the moment, that's impossible. Mr. Stevens is downstairs. I know, that's where I was looking at him. Well, I was looking at him from a distance, of course, but Mrs. Beagle noticed it and sent me up here. We were on this factory with fire just for looking at Mr. Stevens. We'd have to close down. I know, he's kind of cute. Oh, he certainly is. That is, you certainly weren't sent here just for looking at Mr. Stevens. Well, no, but I made a mistake. You see, while I was looking at him, I kind of glued the donkey's tails on their chins instead of where they ought to be, feared that donkeys look kind of cute, so. But Mrs. Beagle didn't think so. No, she didn't think so. Well, the balling out will have to wait. Mr. Stevens is leaving for Washington tonight and he'll be terribly busy. Oh, but he's got to ball me out. It's the company's room. Well, maybe I can work you in later, but I doubt it because, look, who's coming? Oh, yes, the boss's daughter, Miss Alice Todd. She's engaged to Mr. Stevens, isn't she? I read about it. How a guy as small as he is is something who can let himself get roped by a... Oh, hello, Miss Todd. Hello, Peggy. My, you look a bit busy. Got a date after work? Well, I should say I have. I'm going to Washington with Mr. Stevens. Oh. Oh, isn't that nice is Mr. Stevens in his office. He'll be back any minute. Your father's in his office, though. Fine. I want to see him, too. Go right in, Miss Todd. Hi, Dad. Hi. Busy? Uh-huh. Well, if you're so busy here, then I think Lee should stay here in help instead of running off to Washington. Have you lost your mind, Alice? If Lee doesn't go to Washington, we may be out of business. Just, just silly. The fact remains, we haven't any materials left to make toys with. And unless we get a government contract and start making something else like ordinance for the Army, we're going to be... Oh, all right. But why didn't someone tell me that Lee's taking out Secretary of Hill to Washington with him? Well, probably, darling, because it's none of your business. Father, I'm serious. Have you seen that girl out there, that Peggy? She's wearing everything but a hunting license. Now, Alice, you don't think that she would... I most certainly do think, and I do not want her to go to Washington with my fiance. Well, I'm sorry, but what Lee does is his own business. I never interfere. But, darling, don't you want to protect your own daughter? Protecting you is like protecting a killer shark from a grunion. Your family won't have Lee going out to Washington with that red-headed shark shooter. You've got to stop. All right, Alice, I'll stop it. Thank you. We're going to say, don't let Lee think it was my idea. What do you think I am, an amateur? Take care of it right now, before Lee gets... Now, look here, Alice, I'm not going to stand here. Father! Okay, okay, wait here. Peggy. Yes, Mr. Tom? Find my secretary. Ella to take two or three weeks off. Mr. Tom? Of course, Miss Becker. But she just got back from her vacation. She needs another one. Well, yes, sir, but I... While she's gone, you'll take her place. But I'm leaving tonight with Mr. Stevens for Washington. Oh, no, no, that's all been changed, quite suddenly. Very suddenly, it seems to me. Now, Peggy. Don't you now, Peggy me. Do I go to Washington or don't I? No. Okay, I quit right here and now, and you can send a carbon copy of that inside to Lady Borger. She's the reason I'm not going to Washington. Now, Peggy, you're all worked up over nothing. Now, go find Mason for me. Tell him Mr. Stevens will be needing his secretary. He'll take Mason's secretary to Washington with him. Sorry, but I just quit. All right, I'll find Mason myself, and as soon as I get back, we'll talk all this over. That's what you think. I'll go get a job at the competition with Fallon Hall. I'll, Peggy. Oh, I'm still sitting. And let that be a lesson to you. But when can I see Mr. Stevens? As far as I'm concerned, any time you want. I don't work here anymore. Oh, he'll really be needing a new secretary now, won't he? How long does it take to learn to show at hand? Forget it. You're too young. You're too pretty, and you don't carry brass knuckles. Hmm? Alice Todd. Oh. You're wrong, baby. And if you've got an extra pair on that donkey department, stick it on Lee Stevens for me. Oh, thanks. Hello, Alice. Oh, uh, Mr. Stevens. Yes? I, uh, I understand you need a secretary, Mr. Stevens. That's right. Uh, you Mason's girl? I'm, uh, I'm Miss Rogers. Well, I suppose Mr. Todd told you we're going to Washington. Can you be ready? Oh, yes, sir. I can be ready. Good. Now, I've got a couple of telegrams to send. Yes, sir. I brought my book with me. This one goes to the Groverner Hotel, Washington, DC. It's very important. This confirms room reservations for myself and Secretary. Arrive tonight, signed Lee Stevens. Yes, sir. Hey, what goes? Why didn't you put what I said in the book? Well, it's in my memory, Mr. Stevens. You know, short while like that, it's a very simple thing to carry in my head. Oh. Well, uh, don't take any chances on the next one, really. It's still more important. Take this one down in the shorthand, please. Yes, sir. Uh, to Mr. Homer L. Ritchie, office production distribution in Washington, DC. We'll call it your office tomorrow, request department regarding conversion of our... Well, what may I ask is that? This? In my book? Yes, that in your book. Um, shorthand. That shorthand? Those, uh, those doodles? My own system. Your own... Well, uh, read it back, will you? Mr. Homer L. Ritchie, office production distribution in Washington, DC. We'll call it your office tomorrow, request appointment regarding conversion of our... What may I ask is that? Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. Oh, that last part's what you said when you interrupted, but is the rest correct? Uh, yes, it's correct. Well, I don't suppose it matters what shorthand system you use. No, just as long as I get it all down. Well, uh, let's go on, shall we? Uh, request appointment regarding conversion of our toy factory to the manufacturer of army ordinance as per our correspondence. Sign Lee Stevens. Yes, sir. Uh, send those wires and then you can go home. Oh, uh, here's your ticket. You take the plane, five o'clock. Planes? Well, aren't we going to go together? We're taking the train. I couldn't get two tickets on the plane. I'll see you in Washington in the morning at the Grovener Hotel. Yes, sir. I'll be there, Mr. Stevens. Goodbye. Goodbye. Pay your old apartment. Would you please transfer Miss Jane Rogers from Donkeys to Executive Secretary to Mr. Stevens? That's right. Salaries? Well, uh, well, what was Peggy Fuller receiving? Thirty dollars a week. Well, Miss Rogers will get forty. That's right. Thank you. My goodness. My goodness. What do you mean to say you haven't got a room? Not one room. Not only that, but I can't even suggest where you might find a room anywhere in Washington. Well, well, I'm sure that's going to be a tremendous help to me. I'll try the city pound. Who's next, please? I don't know why I ask. It won't do you any good. I'm next. I've been standing here for forty minutes. My name is Stevens. Lee Stevens. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Stevens, but there isn't a room to be had. I want a room. I've got a room. Then would you mind going to it and stop bragging? But I need a key. The key to my room. Oh, what's the number? Well, I don't know. It's reserved for me. I just got off the train. You said your name is Stevens? Yes, Stevens. Lee Stevens. That's what I thought. Your reservations were canceled, Mr. Stevens. Canceled? Well, who canceled them? I don't cancel my reservations. Your secretary did? My secretary. Yes, Miss Rogers. She objected to the accommodations. The rooms weren't large enough and there wasn't a shower. Had to have a shower, she said. Oh, well, never mind that. I'll take them anyway. Ha, ha, ha. This is Washington, Mr. Stevens. Well, certainly there's something I can get. Is there? Well, on Tuesday next, I may find space for you in the billiard room. Oh, I wait until Tuesday. Looks like I'm behind the eight ball already. Oh, Mrs. Stevens. Pardon me. Well, here I am. Just waiting for me, Miss Rogers. Yes, sir. Right on the job. Can you have them tonight? I'll have you, Miss Rogers. No. Where the heck did you get the idea to cancel my room reservations? Oh, well, you would have done the same thing. There were two dinky little rooms looking out on the alley. There wasn't even a shower. Well, let me tell you, Miss Rogers, looking out on an alley is a lot better than sleeping in it. Washington is a bit crowded these days, or hadn't you noticed? Oh, well, I'm sorry if I did the wrong thing, but I certainly didn't want this hotel to think they could put anything over on you. Look, Miss Rogers, all I want over me is a roof. I don't care where it is. I'm here on business. Oh, well, now that you're here, I'll find a better place immediately. There's certainly better rooms than those in Washington. Fine. And when you've rented them, you can locate me at the old PD office. And remember, Miss Rogers, we don't want any royal suite, just any room with a bed will do. Uh, I mean, two rooms. Uh, yes, Mr. Steven. And don't you worry about tonight. I'll find a really good place. No, that's splendid. I don't see how Mr. Rogers and Mr. Mason can possibly get along without you. Thank you. Mr. Mason. Oh, Mr. Mason. Mr. Steven. Yes, Miss Rogers. What time is it? When you hear me yawn, it will be exactly 20 minutes of two in the morning. I think this is a very nice restaurant, but don't you think it's time we got out of it? It's raining outside. It's raining hard. I know, but the waiter just gave us another dirty look. I think he wants us to go home. Yes, I once had a home. The Groverner Hotel. My home in Washington. A nice, dark little room overlooking an alley. I'm sorry. Yeah, never mind. Well, you didn't say how you made out with Mr. Richie at the OVD office. No, there's nothing to say. I just didn't make out. Didn't you go? Well, of course I went to Roger. I thought it was a hundred other people. At the time I got into seeing him, he'd gone home. You know what I found out? There are almost a million people in Washington and housing accommodations for only $150,000 is something like that. Why don't you find that out before you cancel my hotel room? Did I hear you ask for your check, sir? No, no, no, no. I didn't ask for a check. Well, it's nearly two o'clock. Oh, it's just a shank of the evening. We'll have another cup of coffee. Not here you won't. The kitchen is closed. The chef has gone home. The orchestra has gone home. I should go home. It's time for everybody to go home. All right, I'll come right out with it. How much will it cost for us to sleep right here on a couple of the tables tonight? Forget it. If we let you sleep here, then we'd have to let someone else sleep here and pretty soon all Washington would be sleeping here. Your check comes to $18.20. Yeah. Here. Look, isn't there some place you can suggest for us to go? Yes, sir. But we're not permitted to talk to the customers that way. Good night. Good night. Oh, look, it stopped raining. Well, that solves everything, doesn't it? Now all we have to do is walk the street until it's time for me to go to work in the morning. Well, we can walk in the park, if you don't mind crossing the street. All right, we'll walk in the park. Come on. I, uh, I can see a lot of empty benches in the park. Yeah, empty and wet. Well, this is a very well-known park, Mr. Stevens. I think you'll find it especially interesting. Name me one reason why. Well, one thing, it's filled with famous statues and statues. That's it. Oh, Mr. Stevens, why don't we just... Oh, no. Why not? You mean sleep on one of those things? No, Mr. Rogers, I can... No, not on them, under them. Look, I'll show you. You see, this one's perfect, see? These two generals on horseback. What does it say? Uh, there's people off. No, the inscription I mean. Oh. Uh, General Sherman and Major Myers before the Battle of Tennyson Mountain. We're sure lucky they're on horseback and not walking. We are. Oh, and such big horses, too. You see, there's plenty of room and dry. They use me under one horse and off me under the other. Well, very well, Mr. Rogers. I have two weeks to argue. Are you, uh, comfortable? Oh, yes. He's fine. Uh-huh. Well, crawl up under Major Myers. Good night, Mr. Rogers. Good night. Mr. Stevens. Yes, Mr. Rogers. I'm terribly sorry about the hotel reservation. Well, you'll be sorry in the morning and stiffer too. The rooms were just awful. No, that's all right. Anybody can sleep in a hotel room. It takes a big shot like me to get a horse to... Oh, dear, what happened? Uh, General Sherman just spurred me. Oh, Mr. Stevens. Uh, yes, Mr. Rogers? I'm a joke. And if you've been nothing but sarcastic all evening, I guess I deserve it. I know this is awful, sleeping in the park under a horse, but what can I do? I did try to find this place. I tried just everything. Uh, forget it. You'll find something tomorrow. Thank you, Mr. Stevens. Besides, this isn't too bad. At least I can stretch out and it isn't raining anymore. If you think this is bad, just imagine what it would be like if it was raining. What did you say? I couldn't hear what you said. Oh, nothing. Me and my big mouth. Good night. In a few moments, Mr. DeMille and our stars will bring us Act Two of Standing Room Only. Mr. Kennedy. Yes, Sally. I've been taking your course in newspaper writing. Good, Sally. Well, one of the first things they teach you is to get your news across quickly in the very first paragraph. The rule is tell right away who, where, what, when, and why. Oh, Sally, that's quite an order. I bet I could do it, though. Try me. All right, here it goes. Who? Loretta Young. Where? Hollywood. What? Look, toilet soap. She uses it. When? Every single day. Why? Because she says it really helps her skin to stay lovely and soft and smooth. Oh, well, you're good taking off the Hollywood news like that. Ask me, Mr. Kennedy. Who? Smart women. Where? Everywhere. What? Really make their complexions lovelier. When? When they take active lather facials with luck soap regularly. Why? Because it's a beauty care that works. And it really does work that luck soap care. Recent tests show that actually three out of four complexions improved in a short time with luck soap facials. A simple complexion care, too. Here's what screen stars do. Cover your face generously with the rich luck soap lather and work it in thoroughly. Rinse with warm water, then splash with cold, and pat dry with a soft towel. Leave skin so beautifully soft and smooth, looking so fresh. Why not let Hollywood's beauty soap give your skin gentle, protecting care it should have? Get a few cakes of luck soap tomorrow. Use it regularly. See if you're not delighted with the new freshness, new loveliness it brings your skin. And now, Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone. Act two of Standing Ramonley, starring Paulette Goddard as Jane and Fred McMurray as Lee. Lee Stevens and his new secretary have spent a rain-swept night stretched out on granite pedestals under a couple of bronze horses. It also has been a sleepless night for Lee. But at six the next morning, he finally dozed off. It's three minutes after six now, and a playful wind blows a sheet of rain down his neck. Mr. Stevens waits for the star. Oh, Mr. Stevens, are you hurt? Oh, no, just hand me my head. Hey, what's happened? I can't talk. Oh, dear. You've caught a cold. We'll have to get you something hot to drink right away. Now, come on, stand up. Stand up. I can't. My legs feel like they're broken. How am I going to get to the OPD office? Oh, now, don't be silly. It's just a slide case of rheumatism, and you'll be all right when you walk around a bit. Look. Look, there's a lunch wagon over there. Now, just lean on me. We're going to have a better after a cup of coffee. You know, I think your throat feels better already. Say something. Hello? You see? It's much better already. Come on. It's after breakfast now. In fact, it's after lunch. And after waiting five hours at the OPD office, Lee finally is ushered into Mr. Richie's present. Mr. Richie? Hello, Mr. Pearson. My name is Stevens. Lee Stevens. Well, sit right down, Mr. Pearson. Now, let's see. You come from Elmira. Oh, no. I come from Lamar, Mr. Richie. Lamar, Indiana. How are things in Elmira? Now, let's see. You manufacture bed spring. Oh, no. I manufacture toys. Toys. Pardon me a moment. Yes? Hey, chair. This is Hermes. HRM wants you right away. OK. I'll be right over. Sorry, Pearson. I've got to go to the war council right away. Drop in again sometime. Well, the name isn't Pearson. It's Stevens. Stevens of the Todd Toy Company. Can I see you again tomorrow? Well, that's very decent of you. Same to you, Pearson. It's mutual. War Council. Oh, Mr. Stevens. Yeah? A phone call just came in for you. Ms. Rogers, you can take it here. Oh, thanks. Hello? I found that Mr. Stevens, a place for us to live in. A beautiful home. Oh, fine. A hotel? Well, it's not exactly a hotel. It's a tourist home. Well, just as long as it's got a bed, I'm pretty tired. Well, take down the address. Have you got a pencil? Yeah. Yeah, shoot. 2-1-1-4 R Street. You got that? R Street 2-1-1-4. Right. Okay. I'll be right over. I believe the back door, Mr. Stevens, but at least it's our own private entrance. Hey, this is the swellest door so I have a saw. Now, whose room is this? Yours or mine? Oh, it's... I could only get one room. Huh? Oh, well, there's a sofa in the front room I can use. Oh, huh. And the way you must be feeling you better get to bed right away. I'll go tell the man you're here. Oh, thanks. I just want you to know, Ms. Rogers, that finding this place makes up for any mistakes you might have made up till now. Oh, thank you. And if there's anything you want after you've napped, you just let me know. Oh, fine. Thanks, Ms. Rogers. Mr. Cromwell. In here, my girl. Come in. Come right in. Well, he's here, Mr. Cromwell. Now, when would you like dinner served? Well, would 7.30 be satisfactory? I think so, but my husband won't be able to work tonight. No? No, he has a touch of laryngitis. I put him straight to bed. Oh, well, the important thing is that you're here. You feel all right, don't you? I'm fine. Now, you won't forget our agreement. No, no, indeed. I agreed that if you and your husband didn't like the job, you'd be free to leave without notice. Exactly. Free to leave in the morning. Oh, but let's not talk about it. I know you'll like it here. And if there's anything that isn't quite right, why, you just speak right up and we'll correct it. Well, we're pretty hard to satisfy, Mr. Cromwell. Oh, please. It's been just impossible to get good help. I put the ad in the newspaper today out of sheer desperation. And I must say, Jane, we've never had a cook like you, not even in peace time. But I haven't cooked anything yet. We still never had a cook like you. Yes, sir. Here's to good housekeeping. Well, I think I'd better get back to the kitchen right away. Before you go, I'd like to see your husband. Oh, but I told you, he's sick and bare. Oh, but I have to see him. The major wouldn't like it if I didn't. The major? Oh, Mrs. Cromwell. She's a major in the plops. That means paratroopers, ladies, organized post-services. Ever since she started plopping, I've had to run the house. And if she comes home and finds I haven't even seen the new butler... Well, I still think it'd be better if you waited until morning. Oh, I'll be very nice to him. Only take a minute. Oh, hello. Just came to see how you were. This is Mr. Cromwell. Oh, how are you, Cromwell? Ah, your voice does sound a little hoarse. You're all right otherwise, I hope. Oh, sure, sure. Well, I want you to be happy here, you know. Oh, he will be. Yes, sir. You've got to match, Cromwell. Thanks, sir. Do you mind if I keep the mind all out? Say, we certainly had a time finding a spot. Well, that's surprising. You both seem very desirable. Yeah, I thought we were passable, but that didn't seem to matter. Well, Mr. Cromwell just stopped in to say hello. Now, we'd better go. Yes, well, thanks for looking in, Cromwell. Oh, not at all. Oh, by the way, we're planning on having some people for dinner tomorrow night. I trust you'll be fit. Oh, a party? Oh, just a few friends. Well, I'll try to make it, Cromwell, but I'll probably be too tired, though. Maybe I'd better postpone it until the following night. Oh, that's very kind of you, Cromwell, but I really can't commit myself so far in the dance. I see. Well, breakfast is at 5.45. 5.45? My wife. My wife's in war work. Flops, you know. Well, my apologies to your wife, old man, but I think I'll just have to skip breakfast. But I'll be there, Mr. Cromwell. I love to get up early. Thank you, Jane. And as for you, young man, it's not that I'm coughing, but aren't you making rather too good a thing of this emergency? There was a time when the master of the house was a master of the house. Ah, good little duck, isn't he? Why should he be so upset because I don't want my breakfast at 5.45? Mr. Stephen. Yes? Um, I hope you won't be too angry, but it was the only way I could get a room. I saw Mr. Cromwell's ad in the paper for a cook and butler, and I thought we could take the job for the night and in the morning we'll quit. Miss Rogers, you mean... you mean I'm a butler? Well... Yes. Miss Rogers, are you insane? Well, it's certainly better than the part, Mr. Stevenson, with your long jazzy... Miss Rogers. I'm the manager of a company and I'm hiring hundreds of people. I came here to Washington to get a contract and not to wait on that fumbling little character who was in here a minute ago, or his wife. Well, where do you plan to go? You have many places to stay. Well, any place is better than these slaves. You're only a gang. I guess I won't amount to anything, though. Lord, you made the deal. We may as well stay until morning. You know, that's exactly what I was thinking. Now, you just lie down and relax. Oh, sure, relax. Fine, fine. Come in. Oh, good morning. Well, your voice sounds much better. Oh, yeah, it's fine this morning. Sleep well? Uh-huh. I'll, uh, I'll fade with you tonight. I'll take the sofa, huh? Good night. Well, uh, at least the shelter until I can find out how long I have to stay in Washington before I can settle the deal with Richie at the OPD. Oh, I'm glad you came to mind, Mr. Stevenson. And as long as I'm the butler, I... I guess I'd better see Cromerlin asking for the day off. Uh, where is he? I just left him in the library. And when I say left him, I mean it. You're probably the first cookie he's ever had to look like Mr. Blinick City. Oh, oh, before you go, Mr. Stevenson, you know, uh, we were hired as a couple. Yeah, uh, you know, you told me that. Well, uh, you'll find that Mr. Cromwell thinks we're married. Oh, well, uh, while you're at it, is there anything else you may have told him that I should know? Well, only that our name was Roger. Oh, thanks. It helps to know what name I'm supposed to answer, too. Well, I gave him my name because I didn't think you'd want to use yours. Oh, that was very thoughtful of you, Mr. Roger. And when you're finished, I'll have breakfast ready in the kitchen. Oh, it's good, but I'll, uh, I'll pick it up on my way to Ritchie's office. Cromwell? Oh, Cromwell? Hey, Mr. Rogers, didn't you say Cromwell was in the library? He was in there, yes. Well, he isn't here now. Well, it's okay. I've got to make a phone call anyway. Hello? Oh, long distance? I want to speak to Mr. T.J. Todd, Todd's toys, Lamont, Indiana. No, Lamont, Indiana. Yeah, that's right. Uh, this is capital 7046. Yes, I'll hold on. Oh, good morning, Cromwell. Hope you don't mind my feet in your desk. Oh, we'll have it in mine. Oh, no, no. How are you feeling, Roger? Oh, much better, thank you. Well, that's encouraging. What? Long distance. Uh, quiet. Uh, hello? Hello? How are you, Lee? Oh, yes, yes. Hold on a while, will you, Mr. Todd? Uh, if you don't mind, Cromwell, man, this is, uh, sort of personal. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I, uh, I want to see you when you get through, though. Where'd you be? Just south. I'll hear you. Uh, Mr. Todd? Where are you? Well, this town's a madhouse, Mr. Todd. I haven't even been able to talk to Richie yet. Well, you better. Competition. Fair and well? Yes, fair and well. No, well, uh, I'll be in Richie's office in 30 minutes. Where do you stay? I want to phone you. Well, I'm at, uh, 2114 R Street, but I'm not sure I'll be staying here, so, uh, I better call you. Alice and I may come down there. Let me know. Alice and you? Leave. Well, if I do, I'll holler. Well, I'll call you later. Goodbye, Mr. Todd. Yeah, bye. Cromwell? It's okay now, Cromwell. Come right in. Uh, Cromwell, if you don't mind, I'd like to take the day off. The day off? But you only came to work yesterday, and you didn't even work then. Well, I'm sorry to see you take this narrow attitude, Cromwell. Oh, I... I'm not complaining. You, uh... you are not looking for another job. Oh, no, no, no. I'm very happy here, providing I can get the proper time off. Oh, I... I just assumed you'd want Thursdays off, but if you'd rather be off today, why don't you go right ahead? Well, thanks, Cromwell. Oh, Roger, it's about tonight. You don't think you'll want tonight off, too, do you? Remember, we're having those people in for dinner? Oh, that's right. Well, uh, let's say we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, eh, Cromwell? In the meantime, uh... Yes? I'll just run along and tell Jane I'll see you when I get back, will ya? Thanks, oh man. Uh... Oh, please, Mr. Stevens, let's celebrate for dinner, and if you insist on staying in the kitchen, do some work. The Cromwells have dinner. No, but I'm starved. I sat in Ritchie's office all day long. Did you see him? No, I saw Fern Hall, though. You work for the T.J. Pod company? You don't know who Fern Hall is? He's only our biggest competitor, that's all. Oh, Fern Hall. Well, did he see Ritchie? No, but he's going to if I'm any judge of women. Women? Ritchie's secretary. Fern Hall's made a big play for her. I heard him talking about nylon stockings and silver foxes, and then he took it to lunch. Well, don't you have an expense account? Oh, sure, but I guess I'm just... horny, I don't know. I don't like to do business that way. Well, I guess we'll have to spend another night here, then. And in that case, Mr. Stevens, there's certain things you'll have to do. You're supposed to be the butler here. Oh, I saw him in the butler. Well, butlers serve meals and you'll have to dress for it. You mean... you mean I gotta wear one of those monkey suits? There's one in the closet. They bought it for their last butler. Well, where are you going? I'm gonna quit. I can't quit. If I put this deal through, Todd is giving me proof. I have to wear a bustle. Miss Rogers, where is that monkey? Take a look. Oh, no. And don't laugh, just that this monkey suit was made for a smaller monkey than I. You'd look better if you had your wrist shortened. Okay, okay. Just so you... do you have time to take some dictation? Before you serve dinner? Yeah, but it's Todd. Here, use the grocery pen. Okay? Dear Mr. Todd, I'm still hounding Richie, but I am not convinced we'll never get anywhere unless we find some personal contact. I think you should ask Senator Peabody. Am I going to pass? Oh, no, not at all. Oh. I think you should ask Senator Peabody. Hey, let me see that grocery pen. Yeah. Here. Well, it's blank. I know it. I'm sorry, but I'm not a secretary. You're not a secretary? Miss Rogers, I'm a little mixed up. But exactly where did you come from that day you came to my office? The donkey department. The donkey department? Mrs. Beagle sent me up to report to you. Oh, so you made mistakes in donkeys too? Yes, Mr. Stevens. And you tricked me into the secretary thing just to keep him getting fired? I did it because I wanted to work for you. Why? Well, there isn't a girl in the factory who wouldn't want to work for you. Every time he comes down to donkeys, they fall all over themselves. Oh, really, Miss Rogers? Well, that doesn't seem to give you much of a reason. Well, I can't think of a better one. Oh. Well, you're at least resourceful, Miss Rogers. Any girl can learn shorthand, but any girl can't learn to be resourceful. Oh, thank you. Then you don't blame me, Mr. Stevens. Oh, no, no. I think you're... I think you're pretty resourceful. Oh, Mr. Stevens, I'm so happy. Well, I'm glad you're happy. Oh, I'm so happy. I just want to throw my arms around you and look... Well, well, Miss Rogers... Did Miss Todd ever kiss you like that? Huh? I just wondered if Miss Todd ever kissed you like that, like I just did. Oh, well, you see, Miss Todd and I are engaged. That isn't what I asked. Well, no two girls ever kiss alike. Oh, something like fingerprints. Yeah, something like... What's that buzzer? That's for you, and that means they sat down for dinner and Major Cromwell wants to know where the heck is a fruit cocktail. Now come on and pick up that tray. Okay, here goes. Hey, open the door, will you? Oh, here you are, Rogers. Oh, everybody want fruit cocktail? Rogers! Rogers, this cost should have been on the table before we sat down. And serve from the left, please. The left. Oh, I'm sorry. As long as I started serving from the right, I guess I might as well just keep on serving from the right. Oh, you don't mind being served from the right, do you, Admiral? Oh, no, just put it down anywhere. You see, Major? Would you care for a fruit cocktail, madam? Thank you, if you'll just... I'm sorry. I'll get it. Hold still now. Don't move. Don't move. Rogers, what in the world are you doing? A strawberry. I dropped a strawberry down madam's back. Now look here. If you hadn't moved, I'd have had it that time. Hand me the fork, will you, Cromwell? Ira, don't choose there. Never mind, never mind. It's okay, I've got it. See, strawberry. Oh, the servants should get these things. Simply price the little home and I haven't had any servants not for weeks. You simply can't get anyone. I'd say you're very fortunate, Cromwell. I am, Mr. Richie. Having any kind of a cooking butler these days. I am just a minute, young man. Where's my fruit cocktail? I'll be back in a minute. Rogers, Mr. Richie's cocktail. Stevens, what's the matter? What's the matter? He's in there. Right inside there at the table. Who's in there? Who, Mr. Richie? The head of the OPD. Richie, that's who. Oh, that's wonderful. Now you'll be able to talk to him. Talk to him? What is this monkey suit? You have a lot of confidence in a businessman who doubles as a butler. Did he recognize you? No, I don't think so. But I'm certainly not going to give him a chance. Well, you'd better get back in here. Oh, let him buzz. Well, just explain what's happened and he'll understand everything. Oh, yeah. You certainly believe in initiative, don't you, Miss Rogers? Well, of course. That's how I got my job with you. Oh, that's right. It is, isn't it? Now hurry up and bring in his fruit cocktail. Oh, okay. And then come back. I'll have the soup ready. Well, you should have tried to attract Mr. Richie's attention some other way. I did try, but every time I got near him, the major broke it up. Maybe we'll think of something while we're doing the dishes. When you're careful, it's the best China. No, stack the dishes away in a corner somewhere. We'll be gone by the time they use them again. Come on now, get busy. I had to sneak in, Mr. Richie. I've only got a minute and I have to talk fast. Look, I don't believe in stealing my pain servants, but I'm desperate. I'll pay you two double what they're paying you here. You mean you want to hire us as butler and cook? I'd like some hooker drive, too, but that isn't really necessary. Oh, but you don't understand, Mr. Richie. I'm not really a butler. Of course you're a butler. No, but I'm not. I'm the general manager of the Todd Toy Company. I don't care what your sidelines are. I'm interested in you and your wife as a couple. Now, what do you say? I tell you, it's not a sideline, Mr. Richie. I came to walk into the... Why, you'll love the rooms at my house. It's a cross ventilation, but lovely bathroom. Brand new radio. But Mr. Richie... Now, what do you say? And hurry up. I can't let the crommels find me talking to you like this. If you'll just listen to reason, Mr. Richie. I'll listen to anything within reason, but I can't stay here. Just report for work to my house Monday morning. Monday? We can be there tomorrow. I wish you could, but that'd be too obvious. Monday morning. Okay. But on one condition. I want to talk to you. All right, all right. You can talk to me all you want at my house. Will you come? Yes. Wonderful. See you Monday morning. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. In a few minutes, we'll be back with Act 3 of Standing Room Only. And now, a soldier, his girl, and music. Let me call... I'm in love... Gosh, Bill. That's an old one. Words are still good, though. Say, here's another old timer. I remember my dad used to sing at the mother. I can't tell why something I can't tell seems to hold me in your spell. If anyone should ask me why, I guess I'd say, well, you're so, you're so sweet. A man can't always tell exactly why a girl is the girl for him, but one thing's sure. There's a certain quality that always attracts. A truly feminine charm that makes a girl lovely and desirable. Here's what a famous screen star has to say about it. It's Ida Lupino, and she says... There's nothing so appealing in a girl as skin that's fresh and sweet, relatively fragrant. A wonderful way to make sure about dating this is a daily Lux soap beauty bath. The lather is so rich and creamy, leaves your skin smooth, really sweet, perfumed with a lovely fragrance, too. Lovely screen stars discovered long ago that their complexion soap, Lux toilet soap, makes a luxurious beauty bath, too. Why not put this fine, fragrant white soap in your bathroom? You'll find it's thrifty to use. Lux toilet soap is hard milled. Each satin smooth cake can be used to the last thin sliver. Get a few cakes of Hollywood's beauty soap tomorrow. And now, Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone. When the play is over, we invite you to do a little eavesdropping while we chat with our stars. Now here's Act 3 of Standing Ramonri, starring Paulette Goddard as Jane, and Fred McMurray as Lee. Lee Stevens is convinced that the only way he'll be able to talk business to Mr. Richie is for Jane and him to accept the jobs of cook and butler in the Richie home. Early the following morning, Lee breaks the news to Mr. Cromwell. Quitting? But you can't do that. Haven't we been good to you? Oh, it isn't that, Cromwell. It's just that Jane and I feel in the need of a change. But you've only been here a couple of days. Oh, we seldom stay that long. But we'll stay them one day. But what am I going to tell the Major? Oh, well, just tell her I've fallen madly in love with her, and the only honorable thing for me to do is to leave. Well, it's been nice, old man. That all took place at eight o'clock in the morning. At five that afternoon, two foot sore travelers from the Mount Indiana arrive at the Cromwell residence. Mr. T. J. Todd and his daughter, Alice. I do. How do you do? We'd like to see Mr. Lee Stevens. Just telling that Mr. Todd and Alice are here. But there isn't any Stevens here. Well, this is our street, isn't it? 2114 R Street. Yes. Are you sure you know everybody here? Well, I think I do. I'm Ira Cromwell. I own the house. See the people in it frequently. Yeah, but... I'm quite sure I got the right address. That's what he told me. 2114 R Street. You know what this means? We're stranded. Stranded in this town. Oh, Mr. Cromwell, we've been searching since noon for Lee Stevens and hotel rooms. Oh, that's a shame. Oh, you don't know how lucky you are, Mr. Cromwell, having this fine big house with so many rooms. Yes, I suppose so. Pretty high taxes, though. Yes. Well, you've been more than kind, Mr. Cromwell. Come, little girl. We'd better start hunting. Oh, wait a minute. Yes? Why don't you come in for a while? Have a cocktail, perhaps, and then use my telephone. You should be able to find reservations somewhere. But we're outsiders, sir. Strangers. Really, Daddy? I don't feel at all like a stranger with Mr. Cromwell. You don't? Well... Come in. Come in. Oh, Major. Major. And just think, Major, the Tards are from Lamont, Indiana, and I'm from Gail, Tarver, Michigan. I always said the prettiest girls in Michigan came from Indiana. Oh, Mr. Cromwell. Oh, Major, your uniform is simply stunning. What's the insignia? Plops. Bless you, madam. Everything's fine. The, uh, peritopers' ladies organized host services. Oh, well, of course. Daddy, I think you should write a nice check to the, uh, pops. Right away. And then we'd better try and find someplace for us to sleep tonight. Why, you'll stay here, of course. There are two guest rooms upstairs. Oh, well, then. I insist. Well, if you insist. I certainly do. Well... Rogers, where are those cocktails? I'll bring them in now, Major. Tell about time. Rogers, the rug. Look out for the rug. Oh, I'll be careful. But... Oh! Rogers! Lee! That's Lee! What do you mean that's Lee? That's our butler. He's Rogers. What are you doing here? Oh, hello, Alice. Mrs. Todd. Pardon me for not rising. You! You told me he wasn't here, Mr. Cromwell. Rogers, tell Mr. Todd who you are. I'm Lee Stevens. I... I told you you should have had references. What is this, man? A criminal? What's the idea, Lee? Why aren't you tending the business? Not tending the business. You stand there and... You should know what I've gone through tending to your business. I thought you might like some orders, Major, so I... James! What do you mean by telling us your name is Rogers? Well, it's Stevens. Stevens? Her name is Stevens. Well, it certainly has to be. She's his wife. His wife! Oh, Lee, marry! I'm not married. What? On our major deal. Oh, Lee, exactly who is this girl? She's Jane Rogers, my secretary. She doesn't look like a secretary. Oh, this is too humiliating. Lee, does this girl mean anything to you? Why? You heard the lady, and I use the word loosely. Yes, I heard her. The... The answer is yes. She does. What? Dad, are you going to stand there and let me be insulted? Nobody can kick my little girl around. Lee, you're fired. Don't care I'm fired. Come on, Jane. Just a second. Oh, Miss Todd, would you mind holding this tray? Thank you. And just what am I supposed to do with the orders? Pass them around, please. The maid just quit. Come in, Miss Rogers. Oh, but this is a kitchen, Miss Todd. Dishpan hands may be contagious. If you think you can be civil, we can talk about this to Stevens. Go ahead and talk. You are to be very happy now that you got him fired. A man with his ability can get all the jobs he likes. But where else is he going to get a half interest in a million-dollar corporation? Well, maybe it doesn't mean so much to him. Not now, maybe. But later on, he'll start thinking about how much it cost him to get you, and then we'll see how happy you are. You're trying to tell me that if I step out of the picture, everything's going to be all right for Lee. You're putting it rather crudely, but you do get the idea. Do you mind if I put it rather crudely and ask you to take a running jump in the Potomac? Get out of here, Miss Todd, before I start throwing double boilers. Jane, where are you? Jane! Now sit down, Lee. Sit down and stop being so stubborn. I want to talk to you. Well, I don't want to talk to you, Miss Todd. I'm looking for Jane. Jane's gone. Gone? Sure. Ten minutes ago. Said something about catching a train. Train? What does she want a train for? How do I know? Probably to take her back to Le Mans. She was carrying her bag. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you stop her? Don't you know that I... Hello? Hello? Is that you, Rogers? Yeah, so who's this? At least... He's upstairs holding the major's head. Well, forget it, Richie. I retire. But I need... I need Jane too, but she just left to catch a train. She did. No, you will, huh? Well, I needed you too for a while, Richie, but I don't now. So I can tell you that I think you're a bloated bureaucrat with a bird brain. Now why don't you grab yourself a length of red tape and go hang? Guess that's telling him, huh? Oh, great. Great. Here. Here's the key to my office. What's the matter with you, Lee? You're not fired. No, but you just said... I just said you were to save Alice's face in front of those people. Oh. Confidentially, getting rid of Alice is the greatest thing that ever happened to you. She's selfish. She's spoiled. Yeah, that's your fault. All women are alive. If you aren't getting the needle from one, you're getting it from another. Jane, huh? Yes, Jane. Apparently, you're more attractive when you're wearing your income. Yeah, I guess I am. Well, as long as I'm not fired, Mr. Todd, I better tell you something. Richie's giving a party at his house tomorrow night, and Farron Hall's going. What? Yeah, I saw Farron Hall at the OPD. Richie's secretary wangled an invitation for him. Oh, we're lickly. Lash to the mess. Maybe not. I got an invitation, too, just now, direct from Richie. Huh? But as a butler. Wonderful! But I turned him down. Oh, I could change my mind, though, on one condition. What? Get yourself a monkey suit, Mr. Todd. If I'm going to be your partner, you've got to be my partner. Oh, it's you, Rogers. Come in. Oh, thank you. I want to apologize for last night, Mr. Richie. Well, I don't mind being called a birdbrain, but I'm not a bureaucrat. I guess I was just upset. And just to make it up to you, Mr. Richie, I decided to come and help out with your party. Fine. That's fine. I'll tell Mrs. Richie. Yeah, but I still want to have that talk. Huh? That little talk we agreed to have. Oh, yes, yes, of course, but I've got to finish dressing now, so... And I want you to meet TJ Todd. Oh, Todd. How do you do, Mr. Richie? Well, another butler. Good. We'll need all the help we can get. Mr. Richie, Mr. Todd is the president of our corporation. You what? Todd's toys, our company. Oh, yes, that little business you're running on the side. Well, take my advice and stick to your own racket. Look, Mr. Richie, you've still got this thing all twisted, but I guess the best way to clear it up for you is to show you our inventory. Oh, it happens, man. I can't do it now. I'll tell my wife you're here and you and Todd get in the kitchen and help Jane with the... Jane? You mean, Jane? Yes. I hired her yesterday. Found her down at the Union Station. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Richie, I've got work to do. Mr. Stephen. What are you doing here? How come you're working for Richie? Well, it's just for tonight. He said if I'd help him out tonight, tomorrow he'll find me a very fine position as a secretary or something. Well, just forget about it. You're my secretary. What was the idea of running out on me last night? Didn't you hear what I told Alice about you? I heard. Well, doesn't it mean anything to you? No. Say that again. Did you get your job back with Mr. Todd? Yes. Well, I'm glad, but I just don't think we belong together. Well, then quit thinking. You're not built for it. Pardon me for busting in, but I hired Lee right back just as soon as Alice was out of sight. He's very lucky to get rid of her. There you are, Jane. I'm still not going to have anything to do with you until you finish what you came here for. Otherwise, everything's going to be my fault because of the mistakes I've made, and I'm not going to have that hanging over me. Now, look, the way I see it, we're all after the same thing, a contract from the OPD. Let's go after it together. Teamwork. After all, there's only one Richie and there's three of us. Pretty good odds. Three to one. Come on, now. Let's drink to us with, um, with some of Richie's champagne. Lee. Lee, come here. How are we doing? Awful. Ferenal's here. He and Richie are just going into study. We've got to break it up. I'll, uh, I'll announce the dinners. That would be fine, except dinner isn't ready. I'm just getting them started on the cocktails. Oh, what's the difference? I'll see you in a minute. Dinner's served, ladies and gentlemen. Come and get it all for the treat. Dinner. The dining room with the pan on. Oh, I'm sure there must be some mistake, Roger, as we haven't had our cocktails yet. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Richie, but you see there's always the human element. The cook got a little ahead of herself. Oh, dear. Well, I'm afraid we'll have to go in everybody. The cook wants to serve dinner now, and we better let her have her way. Oh, that isn't reward any dinner. Uh, just, uh, help yourself to a drink, everyone, and take it to the table. And speaking of duck hunting, Mr. Richie, I'll have some wonderful luck with decoys I made myself. Right at my own factory. Yes, sir, I've got just about the best equip plant this side of the Mississippi. Yes, I have. Get a load of this, Lee. At this rate, he'll have Richie sold before the meat course. Yeah. I don't know what's bad, man. I should talk business at the table. I can't stand this any longer. Get upstairs. Hurry now. I'm going to send Richie up to you. You're gonna what? Go ahead and beat it. Okay, but... Ready for the soup, Mrs. Richie? Yes, sir. Stop serving. Yes, madam. Uh, soup, Mr. Richie? Here you are, sir. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir. How awful. You blundering idiot. Why don't you watch what you're doing? Oh, and you're all over noodle, sir. And soaking wet. Oh, Todd, Todd, how could you? Oh, I'm sorry, madam, but I'm used to the English grip on soup plates. If you'll pardon me, everyone, I'll run upstairs and change. I'll be right down. Oh, Todd, never mind the soup. Go and get cook and ask her to serve you. Yes, madam. Well, I'm sure Mr. Richie will be down in just a moment. We'd all go right ahead. I'd better go up and see if I can't help him. Oh, thank you, Mr. Farron. Oh, but that won't be necessary. Oh, don't tell her. I'd be delighted. Oh, no, no, no. I wouldn't think of it. Oh, anyway, here comes crook with your soup. Who shall I serve first, Mrs. Richie? This gentleman here, please. Yes, that gentleman, Jane. Thanks, I just wanted to be sure. Soup, sir? Well, put it down. It's a pleasure. Oh, dear. Oh, look at this. Just look at this. Oh, I guess something must have slipped. Oh, what's happening to everybody? I never saw so many clumsy people. The gentleman can clean up in the powder room. I prefer to clean up in Mr. Richie's room. Oh, very well, sir. Hurry, Jane, show Mr. Farron all the way. Oh, I'd be glad to. Just follow me, sir. Right this way, Mr. Farron Hall. It's this room here. Well, open the door. Yes, sir. Okay. Now, now beat it. It's a pleasure. Oh, oh, relax the door. Open the door. Open it up. Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Farron Hall. Let me out here. Mrs. Richie. Mrs. Farron Hall is on the other side of the house, talking to Mr. Stevens. Goodbye, now. Open the door. Open the door. I can't talk now, Roger. I can't talk now. I can't talk now. I can't talk now. I can't talk now. I can't talk now. I can't talk now. I can't talk now, Rogers. And get me my trousers. I can't get your trousers. I hid them. What? Your pants. I hid them. And just why have you hidden my pants? Because I want to talk to you. Rogers, you're a-a-abandoned. Now, look, Mr. Richie, I came to Washington to get a war contract. We have a toy factory in Indiana that can be converted to war ordinance. That's fine. And I appreciate your ambition, but your little toy factory hasn't got a chance. You don't know anything about our factory. No, but I do know something about another factory in Indiana. And I've about decided to give them the contract. Not Ferenal. No, not Ferenal. He manufactures ducty-coys or something. I've been corresponding for some weeks now with a man named Lee Stevens. But, Mr. Richie, I am Stephen. No, you're not. You're Rogers. And get me my pants. I tell you I'm Lee Stevens and I can prove it. Well, if you're Stevens, why didn't you say so? I simply don't understand all this. Why didn't you come to my office in the proper minute? Because I didn't want the war to end before I got in to see you. Now sit down, Mr. Richie, and read this. Here. What is it? It's our inventory. Oh, looks quite elaborate. Well, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. And when you're through, just sign this. Just to keep me happy until you wish for the contract in the morning. All right, all right. Just give me a fountain pen and my pants. Jane, look. He signed it. Richie signed it. Rogers, you're insane. Jane's trying to serve the gravy. Lee, you've done it. Just look at him, everybody. Isn't he wonderful? Big up, madam. Isn't he wonderful? Todd, go upstairs this instant and find Mr. Richie. Never mind, Todd. I'm here. Just keep the gravy moving. That is, if you don't mind, Todd. Oh, not at all, sir. Jane, you may return to the kitchen now. Thank you. Yes, madam. But there's just one thing that I have to do first. Lee. Yes, Jane? Close your eyes and make like you're whistling. Oh, do you mean like this? No, sir. I mean... Why, why should you kiss him? Look, there's a servant problem, folks. After all, he's got to give him some privileges. And now, our heartiest thanks to Paulette Goddard and Fred Buck Murray. You gave us a highly entertaining evening in the nation's capital. Thank you, C.B. But our conditions in Washington really is bad, as you mentioned in your introduction. Yeah, $14 for a cart in the corner is a lot of hay. Well, but you know those signs they used to hang as reminders on hotel doors. Have you left anything? They now read, have you anything left? It reminds me of a sign I saw in the cafeteria in Washington. Proteus and efficient self-service. Sir Washington must remind you, Fred, of the picture you're making at 20th Century Park. Oh, you mean because of the title, C.B.? Where do we go from here? No. Now, I was thinking more of the man, George Washington. I understand you're a soldier in his colonial army. Oh, that's about Gainsborough's time when my new paramount picture, Kitty, takes place. I know. While I'm in George Washington's army, you're in the London slums. But in Kitty, Paul, that gets out of the slums, Fred. It becomes a famous painter's model and gets a bath. Well, if all this takes place in Gainsborough's time, how did you take a bath without Lux's toilet soap? Well, Gainsborough may not have had any Lux toilet soap, but we have plenty of it on the farm on Lux's. And if you see that sequence in the picture, you'll know that I used it, as I always do. Now, just one look at you, Paul, that night. I know you used Lux's soap. Thank you. What do you have on the Lux Radio Theater next Monday night, C.B.? Next Monday night, we bring you the 20th Century Fox hit, The Pied Piper. It's the surprising story of a small girl and a spirited old gentleman, quite ill at ease with children, who finds himself dangerously involved with the Germans as he smuggled a flock of youngsters to safety during the fall of France in 1940. And our stars, from two widely separated generations, are the ever-popular Frank Morgan, the ever-adorable Margaret O'Brien, and the always-charming Sr. Hatham. Well, that sounds like a great cure for election fever, C.B. Good night. Good night, C.B. Good night. Good night. You give us capital entertainment in the capital, good night. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux's toilet soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theater presents Frank Morgan, Margaret O'Brien, and Sr. Hatham in The Pied Piper. This is C.B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. Housewives, remember, every kitchen in America can be an arsenal for victory. Waste fats and greases are a vital part of our war effort for explosives, medical supplies, and many other uses. Don't waste a drop of your waste fats. Put them in a clean can, rush them to your grocer, and he'll give you two red points plus four cents for each pound. Standing Room Only was presented to the courtesy of Paramount Pictures, producers of Our Hearts Were Young and Gay. Fred McMurray is soon to appear in the 20th Century Fox Technicolor production. Where do we go from here? Paulette Goddard is currently being seen in Paramount's Isle of a Soldier. Third in tonight's play were Arthur Feebrian, Verna Felton, Norman Field, Pauline Drake, Doris Singleton, Earl Ross, Leo Cleary, Charles Seal, Eddie Marr, and Sarah Selby. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers. This program is broadcast to our fighting forces overseas through cooperation with the Armed Forces Radio Service. Our Lux Radio Theater production of Standing Room Only has come to you with the good wishes of the makers of Lux Toilets Hope, the beauty care that nine out of ten Hollywood stars use. This is your announcer, John M. Kennedy, reminding you to tune in again next Monday night to hear The Pied Piper with Frank Morgan, Margaret O'Brien, and Cygna Hussow. Tomorrow is Halloween. Time for delicious spry goodies. Spicy smooth Halloween pumpkin pie with tender flaky spry crust and wonderful spry donuts, crispy light, and so digestible. Watch your newspaper for the spry ad featuring both these tempting new spry recipes. Be a better cook. Bake and fry with spry. Be sure to listen in next Monday night to the Lux Radio Theater presentation of The Pied Piper with Frank Morgan, Margaret O'Brien, and Cygna Hussow. This is CBS The Columbia Broadcasting System.