 another NARC survivor live video in this one talking about how the narcissist never really gets over you and Many of you may be thinking How can the narcissist not get over you You may think that They were never really invested in you anyway, but it goes deeper than that because They spent a lot of time with you and a lot of your qualities rubbed off on them You may have noticed that they started to act more like you They took on a lot of your personality traits a lot of the things that you valued and believed in So wherever they go they're taken with them a part of you and When things end When it's over They do feel a loss And yes, that loss may be The benefits and conveniences that came along with being you Maybe you gave them a place to stay Maybe you give them money, but it's more than that as their source of supply You provided them with security and Stability and that's something that's very hard for them to find Most people won't put up with them Most people won't tolerate what they're dishing out You did You stuck through it After everything they threw at you You just took it It's like they would say jump and you would say how high There was nothing you wouldn't do for them and as we know that is very valuable to a narcissist Especially in a world where those qualities are very scarce And not easy to find So of course they are gonna feel some loss And they never process the emotions of anger hatred Bitterness and resentment They never process those emotions So how could they ever get over you and here's the proof? They often hoover their victims It may take them a few days weeks Months in Some cases they come back after ten years, but think about that for yourself Think about an ex that you broke up with in the past Could you ever think of going back to them after ten years? They wouldn't be relevant to you anymore You wouldn't go back to them even after one year most likely But narcissists will because they never Get over you. I'm just at this condo here brand new condo in the city And I'm actually Nowhere near the top floor This is only 33 a And I think we have about 50 floors But as you can see there's a really beautiful view here so lit up at night and This is actually a really nice floor of the condo as well all brand new This is one of the lounges One of many lounges and there's two pools two gyms I know I did say I was gonna come on yesterday To show this floor, but unfortunately I didn't There's a lot of lounges here Where you can have meetings, chill with some friends And you can walk out here To really have a good view Going right off the edge Long way down. I'll come back over this side now. Maybe Just take a little bit of the lounge in here Yeah, there's a lot of places you can just sit and chill and you can play pool here Really nice for you on this side too. And there's a brand new Piano there. If you'd like to play the drums another lounge the other part of the city Here's like a little kitchen with ovens everything Another seating area and there is another side over there, but the signals Is one of the floors? I will show them Floor with the pool and then there's a gym there as well gyms Yeah, it's a cool place. I'm Really happy here Have some good vibes Maybe I'll just sit down on here Looks comfortable Looks like a bed Just lay back and relax Very peaceful In the middle of the city and it's very peaceful Yeah, so They never really get over you And it really doesn't matter what you see On their social media I don't care if it's facebook twitter or instagram It doesn't matter Yeah, mine look like they've moved on They might put pictures and videos with someone else They're holding hands They might be kissing It doesn't matter That doesn't mean that they've got over you It's just an illusion It's an orchestration As I've said in my videos They know how to plan And coordinate the elements Of a situation To produce their desired effect They know what they have to do To make you React a certain way To make you think a certain way But that doesn't mean that it's real Tell me Out of all of the months or years Being with an narcissist How much Because when they first met you They were playing a role They were putting on an act They were telling you and showing you Whatever it is they thought you wanted to hear or see And now they've just Reversed it And They're telling you and showing you Whatever they think you don't Whatever they think you don't hear Or see Whatever they think will hurt you That's the only difference It's a tactic They use it to get you And then At the end they use it to hurt you But it doesn't mean that they've moved on It may look like there was someone else But at some point they're gonna get bored And they're gonna try to come back to you But if they do that Don't let them back in If you do that you will be disrespecting yourself When someone Has Betrayed you They've Been disloyal They're not loyalty And they're going off with someone else It doesn't matter what I don't care if They didn't have sex They didn't kiss It shouldn't even matter If they haven't met In person It's enough that They've talked They've had the thought Of being disloyal to you Of disrespecting you About thoughts led to actions The difference with good loyal people Is While they may have the thought They stop themselves They remember what's important to them What they value most And that should be But there's no They're very impulsive All they care about is themselves They're a gratification And they will go And disrespect you And they'll see it as though it's not a big deal When they come back Like nothing happened No No If you let them back in You will be disrespecting Yourself If you let them back in You will be betraying yourself Once someone A stared door They've walked out on you They've gone off with someone else Once they've done that You should be done It's over It's never going to be the same again after that They're never going to see you the same way They're never going to respect you Unless you walk away That's the only way that they might never Learn their lesson At least with you They might go and do the same thing to someone else But with you they may learn that They just can't do it anymore But the only way they're going to think that Is if you don't give them another chance If you keep giving them a chance of the chance It's not going to change anything Do not let them back in Yes, they may never get over you They may always think about you And how you were predictable You didn't change up on them You stayed the same When everyone else changed When everyone else became A different person They want that They want that security That stability That you have That you brought to them Of course when they've gone out and They've seen the chaos The drama in the world There's some crazy people out there People's lives are in shambles It's all over the place It's noisy So much going on So much stimulation Yes, even after They've been out and experienced all of that They want to come back to where it's safe And warm And that's you That's what you brought to them They want to come back to them They miss that They need that But even if you do let them back in They're just going to take you for granted again And honestly If they did go out And they were Physically involved With someone else And you take them back It doesn't matter how long it's been If you take them back again They're going to think you're stupid They're going to think you're an absolute fool They're never going to respect you If you do that Never In their minds That just gives them permission To act up even more Because if they can do that And you still take them back They're just thinking What else can I get away with What else can I do And they will still Keep me around You've got to think sometimes Why Why do we take them back Maybe because we think we're in love But we're not in love It's just attachment They were familiar to us We got used to them And on top of that It's the pathological loneliness Some of us don't like being alone And the narcissist knows that They know that you're feeling lonely You desire some company You just have to focus on other things If you go off with someone else Just like they're doing You're not healing You're not getting over them You're just distracting yourself It's good to spend time by yourself But you don't have to be completely alone You can go out Places Go to the gym You can go to a spa And You will be around people You won't be alone You don't have to have someone In your bed For you to not be alone There's always people around us All the time I'm sure if you have a house There's other houses on your street If you live in an apartment There's lots of other apartments there You're surrounded by people all the time So you don't have to worry about that So That solves the loneliness issue And Maybe after some time You may desire to be with someone And that's okay But you have to take time for yourself first To heal To really move on for real But another thing that might stop us From moving on Is A scarcity Thinking that There's no one better than them But they're the best you're ever gonna get Because that's what they always told you They made you think that you were lucky To be with them Like you'll never find anyone as good as them And that's just not true Listen, they're just one Out of 8 billion people in this world Of course you can find someone as good As them In the ways that they were good For you You're gonna find someone A lot better than that Someone who doesn't abuse you Someone who doesn't lie to you Someone who doesn't cheat Steal Someone who doesn't desire To hurt you You're gonna find someone like that You will Because trust me there are people like that out there I've been travelling and I have met Some really amazing people People that I look forward to seeing every time And when I Move on to the next place Those will be people I never forget People that I hope to see again In the future Plenty of good people out here There really are I know the narcissist always had a problem With everyone If you were trying to be friends with someone There was always something wrong They always had an issue People aren't that bad There's plenty of good people out here And you will find them And you will meet them And they will make you wonder Why you stayed with the narcissist For so long They will So yeah, don't worry Don't worry about that There's lots of people Better than the narcissist in every way In every way Even the good times you had with them You'll find better than that Even the sex You'll find someone Who will give you great sex Way better than what they gave to you Because remember It was all about them All about their validation All about them Being handsome or beautiful It was never really about you Making you happy All they ever wanted to do Is cause you pain How can you make love to someone like that? You can't They just look at it like Why should I do anything for you? Why should I do that? It's gonna make you feel good But I'm still gonna be miserable That's how they see it It's no good being around someone like that You gotta be around people Who feel good about themselves And then they got something to share with you The narcissist will never be happy They were never happy with you And they will never be happy with anyone else It may look like they are in the beginning And I'm sure it looked that way To other people When they were first with you And even as time went on I bet even when They were bullying you Putting you down People were looking at you and thinking Wow, you're so lucky to have them I bet people were thinking that And in your mind you were thinking If only they knew the truth If only they knew What they put me through Every day And maybe the new person they're with Is thinking The exact same thing And you're looking at it like They're so much happier now They've moved on The narcissist has changed Now they're this perfect Happy, loving, caring person Everything they never were with you Everything you wished they were No It doesn't work that way They can't just change overnight And become someone completely different It doesn't work that way for you It takes time for you to heal And process the emotions And it's the same thing with them But they always Avoid doing that They just create this magical illusion They just wave their magic wand And it's like I've changed Now I'm everything You wished I was Everything that you wanted me to be Overnight It's magic But in reality No It never works that way And it takes a lot of work You can't just distract yourself With another person Thinking that That's gonna make everything alright It's never gonna work that way If anything that will make things worse You've gotta take some time to yourself Process the emotions Heal the trauma Because I know you went through some horrible things With them I know they put you through hell And now you just have to get back to A normal way of living There is an abuse There isn't all these Tricks And manipulation You're not always worrying about what they're gonna do next Everything's just calm Peaceful That's how life is supposed to be But as I said things don't change overnight It will take time But the longer you spend in that peaceful place The faster you're gonna heal If you keep letting them back in It's gonna take a lot longer Every time you contact them Just push new back And you can feel it You can feel it in your chest Every time you're talking to them It could be on the phone It could be messages And you're talking to them You just feel that in your chest Something doesn't feel right And Yeah, that's telling you To run away To get out of there That's what it's telling you to do As psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg has said In one of his videos That's your Narcometer Pay attention to that Because when you're talking to someone And these alarm bells are ringing In your head And you're feeling the sinking feeling In your chest Something is not right You don't feel that when you talk to everyone So why do you feel that When you're talking to the narcissist There's a reason for that Maybe your conscious mind isn't aware of it But Take down your body Knows That something is not right It's telling you to run away It's trying to protect you Nothing good comes out of Being in contact With the narcissist It's not gonna solve anything for you It's not gonna solve anything for you It's not gonna make your life better It just makes you worse It makes you sick So don't do that Forget about them Forget about all the good times Yes, I understand There can be good times with narcissist If you're only around them for a short time Yes, in the beginning Looks first couple of weeks Yeah, it's a rush Of excitement It's like you've met your soulmates They're down for anything They're up for a laugh It's great I get it But it's not real It's a false character It's everything that you want to see But it's not really them And that's why it quickly goes away And that's why you need to get about it Because it never existed anyway If anything, you created that Because that character was tailor made for you So forget about that Remember the bad times Remember all of the horrible things they put you through That's what you need to remember Remember that anytime You feel like messaging them Calling them Or answering their phone calls Remember everything they did to you Remember how it made you feel How did you feel When they said all of those horrible things to you Remember those feelings You just have to remember that They don't care about you They never cared about you And even when I say that narcissist Never really get over you That doesn't mean that They loved you Or that they really miss you as a person It's always just about What you provided to them The benefits and conveniences The money Sex Security Stability All of those things That's what they miss That's what they love It was never you They never loved you You never meant anything to them If you did How could they just move on so easily And leave you How could they be involved with someone else If you ever meant anything to them They couldn't They lack empathy You know that feeling you get When you see Someone's broke down On the side of the road Or someone laying on the floor Without a home Without any money You know that feeling you get In your heart when you see that That's your empathy That's your compassion That's Your love They don't have that They don't feel that And that's why The position that you are now in Where you're alone You're without them They're gone That's why Because they don't have what you have They don't have the heart Yeah I know they They pretend to move on And they're with someone else And now they're so in love And everything's perfect And they're doing everything for this new person They're making them happy It's all fake It's just as fake as it was With you When you first met them So don't fall for that They feel nothing If they feel nothing for you They feel nothing for anyone How you do one thing is how you do everything So yeah they don't have What you have They don't have empathy They don't share your feelings That's why the relationship never worked Because you were doing Everything You were doing all of the work But guess what You can move on And You know all of those feelings you have All of those Intense emotions For the narcissist All of that love In your heart That empathy Compassion There's someone out there Who's gonna have that for you There's someone who's gonna love you The way that you love The way that you love the narcissist So why on earth Would you wanna go back to them When there's someone out there waiting for you Someone who will love you The way you want to be loved The way that you love The way that you love Someone who's gonna be all over you Remember those times When You tried to hug the narcissist You tried to kiss them And they turned away They pulled away from you Remember that There's someone out there who When you put their arms When you put your arms around them When you kiss them They're gonna put their arms Real tight around you And they're gonna kiss you back And Yeah, you're gonna feel that You're gonna know that it's real Because I know it never felt real with a narcissist It's like one minute they loved you The next minute they hated you Could change at any moment But yeah, these feelings that you have In your heart Don't ever think that you're the only person In the world who feels that You're not alone There's many of us out there Who have these intense emotions But we gave them to the wrong person We gave them to someone who Couldn't appreciate it So you have to have Love in your hearts To be able to give it to someone You have to have love for yourself And you did have love for yourself You still do That's how they were able to tear you down You went from loving yourself To hating yourself Because of the narcissist But the narcissist hated themselves From the very beginning Before you even met them And that's why there was nothing you could do to save them They couldn't receive your love And they couldn't give you love Because they had no love to give All they had in their hearts was hatred For themselves Which they gave to you But that love that you have You can share that You can give it to someone And they will appreciate it They will love you right back And it's the most amazing feeling in the world When someone loves you the way that you love When someone loves you back And you feel it, you know it's real You know they're really about it It's the best feeling in the world You never got that from the narcissist And I'm sure some of you Maybe you've never experienced that But don't give up hope Don't think that the best you can get Is them It's not You can and you will Find someone Who really loves you Someone who really appreciates you So don't settle for anything less I mean that's really Not so much To ask Someone who just Gives you what you're giving them Someone who can reciprocate the same amount of love That you're giving out That's not a lot to ask for And it's something that you will receive in time But you have to make space In your life for that If you're taking the narcissist back And Staying with you in your home You're with them Every day There's no room In your life For love They're taking up all of the space So then You can't even receive it If you did meet The right person You see that's why you have to be alone That's why you have to be by yourself for some time So you can heal And get back to loving yourself again So that when the time comes You can receive love from the right person But what the narcissist They don't do that So they never learn to love themselves And even if they do Find someone Who loves them for them Like you did Just remember what happened They couldn't receive that love You see how it works So don't be like the narcissist Don't be afraid to be alone for some time To get back to loving yourself To validating yourself To do what they don't do You'll get what they don't get I know it's going really deep Tonight Not something I talk about much In my videos Love And soulmates But I hope you've enjoyed it I hope it's vibed with you And yeah I mean Despite what I've been through With narcissists and my life I mean Personal experience is much But yeah I mean You can probably see it in my eyes I've been hurt A lot Of course We all have I've been broken down by narcissists many times But I always get back up And I still believe That somewhere out there Is someone for me I haven't given up on love I'll never give up on that Because I have love in my heart I love myself I work hard on myself every day I pour my heart out Into these videos I go to the gym, I work on my body I look after my skin I eat vegan food every day And I love myself for that I take care of myself And I hope that you all will Love yourselves as well Don't love yourself for what you have Or for shallow things Like physical appearance Money, cars Just love yourself because you exist Because you're here Because you realize that you're enough And not because someone tells you that you're enough But just because you feel it Within yourself So yeah, I haven't given up on Healthy relationships Real love I still believe that there's someone out there Who wants what I want And I believe that I will find that one day Maybe I'm not ready for that right now But until then I will continue Working on myself Until I am ready And you will do the same Because you know that There is someone Better suited for you Someone who wants what you want Someone who can give you what you want And can receive what you give to them You can appreciate it So yeah, don't ever give up on that I know I talk a lot about narcissists But I think it's important to remember that There are still good people in this world Yeah, there's a lot of crazy people But there are good people too I'll admit they're not easy to find But you just have to look in the right places And Also be aware of the pain That you have experienced With a narcissist Because sometimes after you've been To find a good loving caring person You might just end up pushing them away You might be angry at them You might just come out on them So be aware of that You go out into the world Go out with the intention to share Love Happiness and joy Go out with the intention to do that Don't let the narcissist Dominate your mind every day I am reading all of your comments here as well While I'm talking And Yeah, I just want to say thank you I appreciate all of the positive comments there Sharing the love I mean there was a time in my life Where I went through a lot And I didn't like myself very much I didn't really know What it was And a lot of you were there for me When I needed someone When I was alone After going through narcissistic abuse And yeah You never forget that It really Has a positive Impact on you That you never forget And that's what I want to be For people That's how I want to be remembered As someone who had A positive impact On people's lives If I can be remembered for that Then My work is done And I hope this message inspires you to do the same Just go out there Make a positive impact on people's lives Don't be like the narcissist We don't want to tear people down We don't want to make people miserable Just because we've gone through something And then maybe we see someone Who's in a better position Than we are Maybe they're happy Maybe they've got what they want Just be happy for them Be happy for them and know that You will get yours one day too I think that's about one hour On you now I really enjoy these videos Just talking to you Sharing my perspectives After reading the common Means a lot to me But I hope it means a lot to you I've just got a piece of myself these days As you can see I used to be so restless Now I can just Lay down You know if that's a bed or a seat Not worry about anything Just be at rest And it's a great feeling A feeling that I never went away And that's why I don't want to return To the narcissist I value my piece too much And I hope you do too Okay so that's it For this video Don't worry There will be many more coming soon Thank you all for joining me And good night