 Maybe I could just do a bit of a soliloquy. Prime off a good soliloquy. I spell that right. Soliloquy. Welcome back to Life Lessons in the Film. Greetings. Greetings. And today we're going to be making sense of life through Lars and the Real Girl. I thought it would be a slippery day today but my feet are all sweaty. I'm just going to take those off. Yeah, starring Ryan Gosling. And other people. Yeah. I hadn't even actually heard anything about this movie till you were like, why don't we watch Lars and the Real Girl? And I was like, okay. Yeah. Never heard of it. I hadn't actually seen it but I had. How did you know? I just saw it. It just, you know, it came by. It passed by. Okay. I don't know. Like, I, god, I can't speak today. How did I know? I, yeah, I don't know. I found it somewhere. It came to my attention. I thought General Real Girl was actually really sweet. Yeah. Heartwarming. It was sweet. It, it, they were, it's, it's a drama really. So there is sadness but like there's heartwarming, more heartwarming than sadness, I would say. But so basically it's all those Lars who's played by Ryan Gosling. And he, he lives with, in the, in the, in the, yeah, in his brother's garage. Well, basically the parents passed away and left the property to them. And so the brother lives in the main house with the wife. Yeah. And then Lars. He chooses to live in the garage. He chooses to stay. They left the house for both of them. Yeah. And the brother says, you know, they keep inviting him to please. It's, yeah. Like they keep asking him to come stay in. Lars, I think because he was the younger brother and the mother died either at childbirth or very soon after Lars was born and then the dad died when he was young. The brother left, so the mom died, the dad was distraught and he, the brother's like, you know, I had to leave. I couldn't live in the house anymore. And I, now I regret it because I left you there all alone. So that means basically, yeah, like Lars was living with someone who couldn't really care for him. And it seems as though that is why he has these emotional challenges. And that's why he doesn't want to ever go into the house, even though they invite him all the time, literally the sister-in-law forces herself on him to try and stop him from going away. In a non-sexual way. In a non-sexual way, yeah. Jumps him. And then Lars gets in a girlfriend, Bianca. Yeah. They're of course very excited. One, what? Lars, you have a girlfriend because he's extremely socially awkward and doesn't really talk to a lot of people and keeps to himself all the time, doesn't like to be touched. And so they're really happy that, oh, maybe things are getting better. Turns out. And then they go, and then... Bianca is a doll? Yeah. Kind of a blow-up doll, I guess. Came in a big box. Male order, sex doll. Male order, sex doll, yeah. Yeah, with all of the... Akutma. Akutma. Of what you would expect of a sex doll. However, it is not sorted. It's not sorted. Yeah. He wants Bianca, the girlfriend, to be set up in what was in the pink room, which was his mom's bedroom. And says that Bianca is very religious and so doesn't want to make love. And so she's a missionary and he respects that. They can't sleep together. And so... These are all the things that Lars is, of course, making up about Bianca as Bianca is a doll. So this is all he's creating this story in his mind as a delusion to help him deal with or not deal with things that he's struggling with. Well, I'm not really sure. I feel like it was to deal with. I think it was to deal with it, but then it still wasn't really... Nothing was really coming about until the therapist doctor who was taking care of Bianca then started to do therapy sessions with Lars and then they started to make some breakthroughs with Lars working through some stuff. And then eventually it seemed like he needed Bianca less. But you see that's the thing, right? For me personally, I feel like having Bianca was Lars taking action. The therapist thankfully was accommodating and asked that everybody else be accommodating and understanding and let this play out because Lars has issues and this is his way of trying to deal with them. Bianca will be there for as long as Lars needs her. And the reason I say that this was Lars taking action because this guy is socially isolated and emotionally isolated too, right? We find out, as we said, that that was very depressed. After the mom died, then the brother leaves. So he didn't really have a lot, a good solid support system. So I'm imagining that he didn't know how to connect to people. And that's why he's touched. He says he feels like it burns when people touch him. Only Bianca can touch him without him feeling burned. And so before Bianca, he wasn't going into the family home. But after Bianca, yeah. So I feel like Bianca was him saying, I don't want to be alone anymore. But I don't know how to reach out to people myself. So I'm going to find this Bianca, you know, girlfriend. And that's how I'm going to, yeah. I like that the therapist was talking to the brother and the wife, brother's wife, he's like, well, you know what we consider mental illness can also be like communication. We look at it as it's always an illness, but it could also be a way of working through things. I think what she means is like, this is him coping, right? And all of these different mental illnesses are ways of dealing and compensating for miss things that are missing that someone needs, right? It's interesting that he even seems like a very kind of embarrassing thing. The brother is like, what do people think? Because he thinks this is an embarrassing thing, I guess, because humans, they understand the need for love and companionship. But if it's not from a human, if it's from a fake human, then they feel like that's to be embarrassing. And so I guess it's a cultural thing, because, you know, that can be a normal thing in other cultures. Oh, the thing in the oven is done. Hold that thought. Okay. Maybe I could just do a bit of a soliloquy, pry him off a good soliloquy. I spelled that right. Soliloquy. That's your sloth. That's the one I finished. Luckily, the town eventually gets not only accepting of it and not putting a stigma on it, but they actually get, they become as part of their community. Bianca, she goes to help with kids with, I think, with disabilities. And she does like church things. And she becomes kind of like, I don't know, a mascot, but they really do find ways for the community to benefit. I remember you saying like, oh, it's a nice thing about small towns that people can really band together and want to support one another. Because the wife says, you know, don't you say that we don't help you? Like we've been doing everything. Everyone, the reason why Bianca is so busy and you don't have time for Bianca anymore is because everyone wants to support you so much in this relationship you have with Bianca that we're all trying to find ways to make her, you know, feel welcome and alive. So don't you say that we don't support you? Now, it could easily have been the other way where he was ostracized and sent out of town. It's interesting that that is something that, because then at one point during like a church meeting, I think they're all, I don't know if we can, I just have him bring her to church and act normal. Then the one woman was there and she's like, well, pointing out basically everyone else's idiosyncrasies and quirks saying like, your cousin does that, this person's a klepto, this person does things with what I can remember with animals or has these weird habits or hobbies. So, you know, everyone's got their thing, whatever gets you through the night. And that really is kind of, you know, what it is. Small towns are more likely to be open and understanding. And just because of how close everybody is to each other, right? Like everybody knows that Lars experienced this thing with the mom. They know that the kids, you know, these two brothers, their parents died very early. And so I think there is an element of understanding that, okay, this guy probably has issues because the whole time he doesn't let people touch him. I think there is that awareness, right? And so whoever finds out that Lars has Bianca, they'll call ahead, okay, Lars has this new girlfriend and it's a sex doll. So just pretend like it's a, you know, she's a person and they do. And I don't think that that's something that you could get in a big, in a city, right? Because people are just much more individualistic there. Yeah, respect for people's quirks can be contagious to other people. And then everyone eventually, you know, doesn't find it a big deal anymore. And then they all get sad when Bianca dies. Yeah, when he does a movie. Funeral, she doesn't when he moves on and doesn't need that device anymore. At one point, once the therapist basically almost just starts doing therapy sessions with him, first kind of edges are weigh in by being like, oh, we're doing tests on Bianca, but why don't you and I hang up for a little bit and we'll talk. Then he ended up just coming in basically to do therapy sessions. So it's never anything that is stated as a therapy session. It's just the doctor trying to figure out, you know, what's going on, how you feel. And that's when it comes out that he doesn't like things like being touched, you know, burns when people touch him except Bianca. And why do you feel like that? She talks about one point being painfully lonely. Can't remember her husband passed away. And she was like, sometimes I'm so lonely that I can't remember how to spell my name. I like that line. I just like that, you know, everyone deals with that stuff. Yeah, I think the thing that was really good about it, the therapist is, I mean, the doctor, you know, because she's not actually a therapist. She's the GP, it looks like. That line was really good because it is, it made her vulnerable. I think that there is definitely a big case to be made for being vulnerable with each other because people struggle to open up and so in order, if you really want someone who is struggling like that to open up, if you want to give them support, you have to be vulnerable. Every single relationship that is close is built on vulnerability at the end of the day. You know, if someone is willing to open up more to you, then you're more willing to open up. And the more you do that, the closer you get, the more trust you build, that kind of thing. And so when she does that, Lars kind of warms up to her and starts talking about his own personal experiences. I think people can bond very quickly in that way by opening up and opening up, opening up, opening up at this person and they open up and they open up. But I think that's also just as quickly people can then distance that way when people start to close down, people start to close down, you know what I mean? Because that's kind of what then causes relationships to fall apart is the opposite. It's just for whatever reason, people don't share the way they used to and then the other person shares less, the other person shares less. So then you get to a point where it's like, no one feels comfortable sharing anything. But yeah, and I like the part where I think from one of the suggestions that the therapist gives Lars, she's like, why don't you ask your brother about, because it seems like you struggle with feeling like you're an adult or you're not really sure what it's like to, what it means to be a man or be an adult. Why don't you ask your brother? And then he, Lars, kind of like, oh, my therapist suggested that I ask you, you know, if you have an answer for me. And so I think it was like, it was basically like, you know, what is it to be an adult? But he asked him like, what does it mean to be a man? How do you know? How do you know when you're a man? Yeah, because what he says, which I really liked. He talks about how in other cultures, you have rites of passage, right? Is the, the, what you're 13, right? Yeah. I hope I'm not messing up here. But a kid becomes a man, I think it's at 13. And it's just kind of like some kind of initiation. Obviously with other cultures there, they're, they do go through like initiation school and stuff like that. You get, and there are lessons that you, that are learned or teachings that you, you gain from that experience. And yeah. And so he asked the brother, and well, you know, how do we know? Cause we don't have those things. Yeah. How do we know? And he, and the brother himself actually struggles to respond to. Yeah, cause there is no real defined way. I like at first he's, he goes to maybe sex or maybe lies even suggest it. And then he's like, yeah, I mean, I guess. And he kind of goes with it at first, but then he ended up as he thinks about it. I really liked that because again, that does feel kind of like the go to for especially a society, a culture, like a Western culture where there really isn't much in terms of initiation. You kind of go through like grade school, high school, there's the school grade levels, but other than that, there's no real, okay, now you're a man, there's a distinct change. And so for a lot of people I think they feel like, well, what is the distinct change from being a kid to being not a kid? And you're like, I guess the most impactful thing is the first time you have sex or something like that, right? But then when he thinks about it, he's like, that doesn't really fit. That's not really a satisfying answer. And I don't think it is. And I liked his answer eventually where he kind of comes around to this like, it's like responsibility. You get to this point where you realize like, for instance, like doing things that you don't want to do because you know, it's right for other people that in your life or generally kind of respecting relationships, not to be on your wife. Yeah, not to be on your wife, thinking about other people versus always just, you know, think about yourself and thinking about community and other people and your family and putting your family first and things like that. And I just like that whole thing because also not only is it kind of a nice scene with the brother who up to that point for the most part was kind of like very against playing along with Lars's delusion. Yeah. Yeah. I also just think that that was a really well put together way of if you did ask someone in like a North American kind of, you know, culture, what is it to be a man? How do you know that's probably kind of the level, you know, where you're, how your mind would work, trying to figure it out is first you're like, I don't know. A lot of people put a lot of emphasis on sex and there's this, there's a stigma against still being a virgin if you're a guy, you know, it feels like, oh, I think that's why there's so much pressure for guys is like, well, then I guess you're not a man yet until you, you know, but then when you think about, you're like, especially when you get, you and you're more sexually active, you're like, doesn't even feel like a big deal anymore. So you're like, I can't really say that that was the thing because did I really feel that different after? Not really. There has to be something else that really starts to make you feel more, yeah, more grown up. When he asked that, I did feel really sad for him because I was just thinking about the lack of guidance he had, you know, growing up and developing into an adult. Bianca was his effort to try and to figure out how to navigate adult relationships. It's kind of like, you know, how little kids have an imaginary friend or they have like a teddy bear that they talk to. That kid is learning how to form relationships, right? Like with, with something that they love. Obviously, when you're a kid, those things are kind of much more accepted. And it's an easier way to, it's a very safe way to form a relationship because there's no talking back. Whatever kind of engagement happens between Lars and Bianca, it is determined by Lars, right? And so it has that really great safe space for him where he can develop and nurture a relationship or learn how to nurture relationships without actually having to expose himself to people, which is something that he's afraid of, but wants to be able to connect with people. And so, so Bianca serves as this kind of like conduit, I guess, you know, his little starter pack for human relationships. At the end of the day, because of his relationship, he's going out much more. People are talking to him much more, asking him, Hey, what's going on? What's she like or whatever? And he's explaining much more. These are things that he wasn't doing before. So yeah, like when he, when he asked the brother that, I did feel kind of sad for this guy, you know, just thinking about his history, his loneliness that he must have experienced and just that neglect that he went through, which the brother does say, you know, I'm really sorry for leaving you. I completely abandoned you. I just was thinking of myself. I wanted to leave. Our dad was just so difficult. It was in so much pain and it was so hard to, so hard to live with. And so I had to leave, but I didn't think about how that would affect you. You know, it's always in your head, your, your self definition or your perspective of yourself. There was a girl that works with him that is into him the entire movie. And he even kind of, you know, in some ways, he also has some interest, which we only find out after he dates beyond, yeah, after Bianca. Before that, we thought he wasn't interested. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing is when you have that certain self image where either he just doesn't believe or doesn't trust or doesn't understand this person who clearly, like very, most like aggressively, visibly is into him, wants to hang out with him, wants to ask him, you know, that kind of, but it's still, whether it, you know, it just, it won't enter in because there's, there's so many, and then it can confuse people. You're like, oh, but you seem like a very sweet, I don't know, good looking guy. We know each other. We work together. What's the issue? But like in his mind, it's, it's, his reality is completely different about who, how people see him or how he sees himself. I think the main challenge isn't necessarily that he doesn't want to interact with people. It's just more so he doesn't know how to do it. And so whenever you see him acting in a way that's, it looks like it's, it's rejecting the person. It's just, I think a form of paralysis. And I really say this because I used to be extremely shy. Like I, I really still am, but I learned how to act like I'm not shy because a lot of times when people see, notice that you're shy, like let's say you're in a social setting, they'll be like, oh, come on, what's going on? Be comfortable, be loose. It's okay. We're all, we're all, you know, friends this year, but they don't realize that that actually makes it worse. That never helped me when people would do that. They would, it would just make me even worse. And just kind of, I wouldn't be able to speak. And then I would go home and I'd be like, why didn't I just, why couldn't I just say that? You know? And I'd be thinking of all the things that I wish I would have said and how the conversation might have gone if I had said them. But yeah, like I can relate in that way. It's not because I didn't want to interact with people. It was just that I was very shy and I didn't know how to, you know, like it was, it was hard for me to just, you know, talk. Yeah. I think that's basically, that's really what's happening with Lars. And you start to see what's really going on in Lars' head. You start to see that, oh, she actually does like this girl that keeps pursuing him because then she starts dating and he gets jealous and, you know, he doesn't like the fact that she's dating. And then invites her for a bowling date. And even though he's like, you know, I, man doesn't cheat on his woman as the brother has said. So I'm not gonna, don't expect that anything's gonna happen. I'm still with Bianca. Yeah. He then shakes her hand and he doesn't. He doesn't get this. He feels comfortable. He feels comfortable, which is, you can see in it with his facial expression that, oh wait, he's kind of shocked the fact that he's wanting, he's reaching out to touch her and he doesn't feel like it burns as he said before that it does. So I think is what started him to feel that he doesn't need Bianca as much. So then she starts to get sick. Sick. To pass away and then at the funeral. But it isn't like a too soon kind of thing because really as much as they then play it off as Bianca being a real person when treats her like a real person real funeral he gets over that that need to that shield. So then after everyone leaves they're like, oh wait, we should go to see the others. Sit in and ask. Yeah. We go for a walk instead and you can see this confidence and this new kind of feeling about himself come up at the end of the movie. So yeah. Yeah. Because we were watching and we're like, oh lars. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah. You already. Yeah. Moving on to the next part. On to the next here not even like. Yeah. Yeah. But of course, right, like it because it wasn't a real person and it was just disorder that he had. Yeah. He can move on really quickly. The thing that I really liked about the community is, you know, some besides the fact of how invested everybody was in in this whole thing and how close they got to Bianca. I like the fact that they were having interactions with lars very generally like he was like Bianca as a person. Yeah. I remember when Bianca was not busy doing all these stuff. These things. He gets upset that you don't have time for me anymore. You know. Yeah. And then the lady's like, well, you know what? You go to work all day. What do you expect her to do? Yeah. You know. Yeah. And you can't, you know, expect her to just be here waiting for you all day and not have a life. Yeah. So you're going to stay here, mister. I'm going to, we're going to go out. Yeah. Yeah. And I like that because those are things that I think when people are growing up, you need those kinds of things. And obviously lars and the brother, their parents passed away very quickly. Yeah. And so they never really got those kinds of things, right? And so you like that the community was helping them. Yeah. Was helping him basically grow up and figure out. Which is what community should be for whatever reason. You don't have that in the family. But that's, yeah. I think that's a good example. That movie is a good example of positive community influence. Yeah. It could be negative community influence like the witch trials. Oh, okay. That's like the other extreme. But yeah. But yeah, this is where community can be a broader family, which can kind of compensate for when there is dysfunction in individual families. I think it's just reminded me of how impactful the way you grow up can be. And it really just shows you how important those years are. It's not one of those things where it's like, okay, well, I'm growing up and that's it. I have food. I'm eating. There's water. And the years are just passing by and I'm more thinking to an adult. And therefore now that you're an adult, you're an adult. If you didn't have all of the things that you needed to have to paving your journey to adulthood, then you're never really fully formed as an adult. And there are just a lot of things that you are behind on. It's kind of like a constant juggling act. It's like, first you take on one, I don't know what you call those things that you juggle, but bowling pins. And then you take on another one. But you can easily drop them all and then you have to pick them all back up. And then you keep adding, right? Like it's not like one linear thing being an adult, right? You can find yourself middle aged and then still find yourself acting like you did as a teenager, you know, or vice versa almost, you know? So it's kind of, it's a very, it's a non-linear for sure. Anyway, I don't know what else to say about that. I feel like if I share anything, we'll just be repetition basically. But what did you guys think about Lars and the real girl? Did we miss stuff? Or did we hit all the major points? All the major beats? Were all the beats hit? Yeah. Either way, let us know in the comments down below. Honestly, yeah, comments are good. We like comments around here. Yeah, share your thoughts and our thoughts. Or just share any thoughts. Just share anything. Share your own thoughts about the weather. Yeah. But, you know, what you had this morning for breakfast. Yeah. And but yeah, until next time. That's a wrap. Bye. Peace.