 I'm sure Downton Abbey is a wonderful show full of light-hearted humor British wit and enough crumpets to fill up a kitchen I'm a man of little taste and less fucks to give so when I saw the Downton Abbey trailer not once or twice But thrice I wanted to jump off a cliff I wanted to climb on top of the movie theater and just belly flop to the ground I wanted to take the straw from my drink and impale myself with it just right through the neck Clean what and done pull it out and just let the blood run Just let it go Elsa it's a frozen reference in 2022. We're on top of things Downton Abbey a new era is finally here and I want it to be done already My last three outings at the theater haven't been great There was no less than 25 minutes of trailers before each one It got to the point where I started arriving after showtime by 10 minutes and it didn't matter I still had to sit there and watch the same previews over and over again I feel like the people that run the theater came from a job at Guantanamo Bay Because they know how to torture a person and the perfect way to do it is by playing the Downton Abbey trailer Which I've seen the last three times at theaters This is a movie preview that is almost three minutes long I'm now gonna recant the trailer because I hate myself and I want you to join in in the debauchery The trailer starts with a sweeping shot of what I can only imagine is Downton Abbey I don't actually know what Downton Abbey is. Is it a road? Is it the castle? Is it a way of life? We get some old cultured people walking up to the castle with a parasol in hand and then Lady Grantham Comes into the mix McGonagall from Harriet Potter or the nun from sister act forgot that nuns There's sister Mary Clarence. I can't remember the the head nuns name, but that's her Maggie Smith She informs these old-ass white people that she's come into possession of a villa in the south of France Oh, I can't wait for this to be over They sit around talking for what feels like an eternity with some sweeping music I was offered a house in France Woosh, it was given to me by an older lover Nothing is happening that warrants this music another shot of people walking with parasols Is it the same group who knows I assume that's all these people do is walk around their estate With an umbrella in hand blocking out the sun because these are the peace the as fucking white people have ever seen And I have to look at myself in the mirror every day The plot starts to shape around this time. Apparently they're going to be making a movie at Downton The people keep saying this a movie at Downton They're gonna be making a movie at Downton for some reason Jar Jar Binks is king from under the sea is there Downtons getting a movie We then get some scenes which I guess are supposed to be jokes where they're trying to film It startles Maggie Smith who honestly could have killed over and died right there This woman is not young. We should not be filming stuff like this with her She's precious and needs to be preserved. Don't startle her with an action clap. She could die There's a woman sitting on the couch. She might be a villain of this picture I don't know. I hate her because of how she utters the words the modern world comes to Downton I wanted to leap over the couch and butterfly kick her in the ear for how she uttered that phrase Just a swift run I wear socks in the studios not shoes. I'm not an animal There's really two plots going on here the film being done at Downton and the mystery of the secret villa in France Why was it gifted to her? This is surely something we're gonna be invested in we then see these old rich-ass people Frolicking in France Paracel's missing this time. He might have a mallet of sorts. Maybe they're playing some croquet Who knows this guy is the limit with the film They can do things that the TV show couldn't so croquet is on the table Actually, I looked back on the trailer again. They're holding rackets not mallets my bad But the croquet is still on the table. We might see it here How exciting would that be as this trailer and the story unfolds? We learned that to a minute lady Grantham. We see a young photo of her very youthful very lovely Definitely not what she is now Ready to keel over at the sound of an action slate hitting keep her alive That's the goal here at this point. I'm fully checked out its splashes of noise followed by wedding shots Different things going on then we end on one of the most bizarre lines I've heard uttered in quite a while Maggie Smith's character lady Graham cracker says there's two types of women in this world dragons and fools Make sure they think of you as a dragon what what is what? Dragons and fools is the weirdest category options ever one a mythical magical beast of great power The other what you would describe the town idiot as being they don't really Lying up at all the title card hits Oh And then we end on these two women in a retirement home making a joke that they think is just so catty so funny And I was just waiting for it to end I know Downton Abbey was a popular show and there's probably a good amount of people excited for this But I need to stop seeing this trailer it needs to go away It should never have been in front of the films it was in front of how many people are going to Dr. Strange to Look into watch Downton the good news is the film drops May 20th So I might not have to see this thing ever again now I want to hear from you though Are you a fan of Downton Abbey and this trailer is really wetting your whistle or are you like me where if you Watch this thing one more time you're gonna pour out the candy full of Skittles You have at the theater and take the box slit you throw out with it Like the video if you like over-the-top complaining about nonsensical things related to movies and maybe even go the extra mile And subscribe if you haven't because I post a ton of movie related content on this channel all the time I'd love to have you stick around and with that I take my leave Yes quite right quite right I do have other videos to watch right there and you can even subscribe to the channel if you really want to do Something naughty you could join me on patreon at patreon.com slash Adam does movies or become a member right here on YouTube It's delightfully wicked now if you excuse me, it's time for my croquet lesson