 THE CREATION OF PAPAMIGUE Alright, let me get this out the way. Last year, I only made it through two episodes of Face the Franchise, because I literally got so bored that I stopped playing. Hopefully this year I can make it through four episodes of PAPAMIGUE. Here's your number 69, you already know. So I know I'm starting out a little bit negative, but like, dude, the options for the face are so horrible. Hold on, let me just show you a couple examples. Like, like this one right here. Who wants to look like that? Let me do a head number six. Who wants to look like that? Who wants to look like that? None of them are great. Whatever, we'll tell you what we can get. Alright, I think that's as good as I'm going to get them. Let's do this. Claudia wants the pipe. Hey, come over, my parents aren't home. Damn, this is kind of dope. Michigan? The school mascot? Wait, I'm in? I'm in high school right now? Wait, this is kind of sick. I can do the Spartans. Dude, that's dope. But sometime in the future, that face render is so bad. It really is so bad. It's here today? I'm sorry, it's my first assignment and most of my crew is out with food poisoning. I told them not to order sushi on a Monday. Everyone knows that's the leftovers from the weekend. My corner. I'm Reggie's producer. Wait. Hello? Hello? Oh geez, that's a little... So you can be a black guy? You can be an Italian guy or... Pretty generic white guy. Hey, pretty generic white guy, that's me. God damn, what's she got a wagon for? God, shit. Oh fuck, that's not a white guy, he's Hispanic. Dude, they got an Italian white dude, a black dude and a Hispanic to do this. Ironically enough, that's how it all started for me. I've been a sound like a Hispanic dude for the rest of this goddamn game, aren't I? That's right. Hey, yeah, there's more ethnicities than Italian, black, and Mexican. For the beast, they're anisomes. Your helmet. Got those fancy words from this French girl I met recently. Okay then, let's see what you can do. They're as half as good as you are in hockey, we're in great shape. Hey Tommy, give him a ball, would you? You've already got a QB coach. A darn good one based on the colleges that have already made me offers. Shut up Tommy, you bitch. And the modest one apparently. I'll fuck you up. You still don't have any depth behind you. If you want to compete for state, it's always best to be prepared. All right, sit yourself. I've got plenty of room on the bench anyway. Wow, Tommy's got a big cock. I'm not gonna lie. God damn. Oh, I'm ready. Ooh, I'm ready to fuck Tommy up, dude. My fighter flight just activated. Coach, don't teach me how to play the goddamn game. I haven't played this shit for years. Oh, are they gonna make me do this? Oh, good ball. Well, rough around the edges. I definitely see some potential. How is that rough around the edges? Sounds good, coach. Lose some weight, coach. Better run some sprints with me. That's the coach that tells you to run sprints like up and down the field, but literally cannot walk more than 10 feet without heavy breathing. All right, man, listen, I'm gonna be real with you. This ain't gym class, okay? This is my team. As long as you understand that, it'll be fine. You got it? I'm gonna bury you, Tommy. Who names their kid Tommy? I guarantee like 100 people named Tommy just got really pissed off. Sorry, your parents don't love you. It's not my fault. Buy yourself a box. Keep it clean. Dude, why is everyone bullying me? Dude, this is so stupid. This is so... This is a trope. This isn't real. Captain of the team in the corner away from everyone? Shouldn't you be the middle of the locker room, morale and all? I'm just over here for some peace and quiet. I'd like to get my head clear before I game, but I can't really do that if guys like you keep bothering me. This doesn't happen. I'm sorry. This is so stupid. This story is fucking shit already. It's a whole recruitment thing. It's really stressing me out. Thought you had a ton of offers. I did, but they can disappear as quickly as they come in. Plus, if I'm not on my game at all times, I can pretty much kiss it all goodbye. I mean, no full ride to college and no shot at the NFL. I hope this dude snaps his ACL. If you're as good as advertised, that shouldn't be a... Who's that? That's Reggie Brown. He's in charge of the school paper and the social media account. He's a pretty good kid. Just, you know, little annoying. Great. And here he comes. What's up, Reggie? Tommy Matthews. The man, the myth, the legend. What's up, Reggie? Maybe a exclusive school paper? It's like they think we didn't go to high school. None of this shit ever happens ever. Winning me over with flattery will absolutely work every time. Okay, I got an exclusive for you. You ready? Okay. That right there is the kid who gets bullied. Not the new kid who's on the football team. The kid who goes in the locker room to record the high school quarterback. You usually have a chocolate shake at lunch, right? Okay, so today, this is crazy. I had a vanilla shake. That's crazy, right? I mean, vanilla. That's so funny, Tommy! I need something to report on and it might be worthwhile for the fans to learn the new face of the team. Which quarterback style would you say you emulate the most? It's been a while since I played competitively, but back in the day, my game was closest to... Lamar Jackson. If all my receivers are covered, pull it down, hit the hole for some big gains. All right. All right, solid answer. It doesn't matter if you're playing a game or working a job. It all starts at the top with strong leadership. So I like to inspire the people around me. Is this the fucking voice actor of Prince Zuko? I am hearing Prince Zuko from Avatar Last Airbender. Listen. You all right, man? Yeah, I'm fine. I have to capture the Avatar. You don't look fine. You look sluggish. It's like you're not playing with any heart out there. Don't you dare talk to me like that. I've put everything I have into this. This game is my life. This is so fucking cringey. This is why I've been through episodes of Avatar Last Airbender. Oh, whoa, easy. Easy, man. I mean, upset you. You're right. About what? About my lack of heart. Look, I didn't mean anything by it. No, it's my heart, man. No, I did mean something by it. I meant you fucking suck. Tommy, sit your ass on the bench. So I can lead this team to a dub. What does that mean, exactly? That means that my heart doesn't push blood through my body properly. Tommy, I'm sorry. I had no idea. Am I supposed to feel bad for this guy? He's an asshole. But my doctor's saying I need another one. I'll help you out, Tommy. I'll rip it out of your fucking heart. You can die. I don't care. I just want to play QB. The court gets out about this. That's the end of my football career. Do you understand? Good. That's the point, Tommy. That's what I want. This is serious. You can't afford to weigh any longer. It's just fatigue at this point. I'll be fine. OK, I just need to get through this season. Plus, I owe it to these guys to help them win a state championship. You're gonna help in anyone out there tonight, especially yourself. Plus, you're putting a huge risk with your health. You should set this one out. Why didn't let you take over? Yes, yes, exactly. Yes, 100%. I'll be fine. All right, boys. Bring it in. Hard to celebrate homecoming when you're being shot out by your crosstown rivals. Tommy Matthews is just not playing like himself tonight, and that is the major storyline as we continue our talk. Coach, I don't know what he said, but I'm fine to play. Look, I've got scouts here watching me tonight. You can't bench me. Did I nark? Please. Did I snitch? Sit down. Hey, we'll talk about this later. Promise. What'd you say, man? I had to. Oh, I snitched. God damn, I fucking narked on him. I need you to focus. You got 52 other guys out there coming on you now. Well, 52 guys out on the field. Coach, I think you need to work on your math, bud. 52 guys? No sweat, coach. I can do it. Good. Because we're going to need you to ball out. That's not asking too much, of course. Was it to play con? I mean. Great. With your athleticism, you got this. Hope you're right. Whoa. You forgetting something? The helmet. This is the most important part. Come on. You got this. Yeah. You're right, coach. I got this. Yeah? Yeah, you got this. He so doesn't got this. Wink. Wink, comedy. Good Lord who writes this shit. Welcome back. Kevin Connors with you on one of the most special games on the schedule each season. Homecoming weekend. All right, baby. We're playing some high school football today. I'm excited. I'm going to put Hawking in the middle of the field. Now I just. Boom. Go get there. Go get there. Oh, bomb. All right. I'm throwing touchdown right now to Patton. Let's see that scene. Let's see that scene. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I should be able to be a kicker, though. I'm going to be honest. All right. Cover two. Let's see how this goes. We want something short underneath. There's nothing there. Get there. Pick it off. Pick six. Pick six. Pick six. Dude, I almost don't want to pick. Yeah, I don't want to pick six. Because I want to get the touchdown on top of me. I don't want to get it with Washington. Here's a chance now to prove it wasn't a fluke. It wasn't a fluke, you bitch. That's another one. Let's go. And I don't think it's relevant if I throw like for 600 yards or not. Just in case I'm going to throw for 600 yards. Is it there? Holy shit. That's not. That was so easy. Damn, they got this shit on like rookie difficulty. You know what's funny is that's a penalty in high school. You're not allowed to show up of any kind in high school. I shouldn't just gotten a flag for that. I'm going for two. The scramble's there. The scramble's there. The scramble's there. I don't know what happened to that defender, but he glitched out. I think I'll just chew the clock rest of the game. Oh, that's my ball. I just got lost by a fucking 17-year-old. I was a 17-year-old too, but I'm sad. Third in goal. We just got to cover deep. He can't really do much here. Got him. Washington with two. Dude, this dude could have two pick sixes. All right. Forward's the classic. Impossible to stop. Patton over the middle. Touchdown. Bingo. Let's go. Keep doing good work and I'll be in Grand Simmons. Recruiting analysts over it. Recruits to watch.com. Heck of a game out there tonight, son. Hey, um, you ever think about your future in football? Where you might want to commit to? Not really. I'm just kind of having fun out there. Yeah, yeah, I see you out there having fun. Well, um, look here when you're ready. Give me a call, all right? We'd love to add you to our site. My man. You're the hottest scoof this year. Got a few moments for an exclusive? Man, I got a lot of tricks to get a lot of eyes on your tape, too. Yeah, I do that for all the guys that are pretty nice to me, which is the kicker and now you. The kicker. Rude. I need as much help as I can get with recruiting. All right, let's get started. Regarding your last game, what would you say is your biggest strength? My biggest strength. I'm like a skateboarder. Just think of what I can do. That I can doctor. Escape artist. Well, I felt like I was able to get away from the rush and then buy enough time to make place. All right. Well, if you're not going to play me, I quit. Time to rent out tampons. He's got to get more for his locker. He'll be right back. You guys, don't worry. Need a word? Come on. Look at Coach, Coach. He's got a gut. I love it. I actually really like the coach in this. That's the one thing I will say. Our EA Sports Live stream from Fullfield, the home of the Michigan High School football state championship. Michigan High School state championship in Fullfield. So what happens in this story if I just fumble the bag and play horrible? Does Tommy not quit? Can't lose state chip. All right. Edge, all there. Run him up field. Just got to juke this man. I do not have the stats to be doing that, I think. Because I can set up blocks real easy. I just pat him. Ooh, he bounced one. All right. I'm going to probably hit Y. I should be there. Got him. Touchdown. All right. Um, that might just be a touchdown. Oh, it's not. He got dragged down. That's fine, though. Ah, that is a blitz. Oh, I still run at this. Hee hee. Damn it, goddamn. My arena. Get to a backflip. Either I get the touchdown or the half's over. Five, snap, patent. He's got the wheel. That's too easy. Come on. Let's see if Zombo can just, yeah. This is a little bit too easy, honestly. I think they should have upped the difficulty a little bit. All right. Let's see who gets over to the two-point. Let's put a 30 bomb on their head. A 30 bomb plus a shutout. You love to see it. Let's go. Dude, why did they send this shit in here? It's like four years ago. The spin move you do. Breaking that dude's ankles and the stiff arm? Woo! Reminds me of my playing days. Zombo and warrior style. Mr. Badge stepped out of bounds. We could have scored a touchdown. Well, there's no way it could have dodged. Tommy, how the heck have you been? Hey, Tommy, how you feeling, man? Good. Got a clean bill of health? I'm ready to get back out there. Come on in. Have a seat. I've got a clearance from a doctor, coach. I'm ready to play. Offer John back to Tommy. I know the guys would love to have you back and all, but this is sort of my team. Tommy, I just dropped a 30 bomb in the state championship. And I also dropped a 30 bomb when your bum ass heart stopped working. Why do you think you're coming back to the team? You know what would make you an even better quarterback? You're also wearing a Henley with a denim jacket. Me at receipt. Translation. Coach, I understand that Papameek's cock is larger and there's nothing I can do. Like you said, coach, you got to do what's right for the team. What's right for the team is you die! The best news I've heard since my aunt Lokalani's bore one best in the show. I'm going to get the playbook. We're going to start drawing some stuff up. Woo! Sunday's looks to be no different on a Friday night. We've got a packed house for the Midwest prep showcase. Oh, Matthews, dude, this is gonna be so easy. That's a touchdown. They really made this too easy. I'm just out. I'm out running that dude when he had 10 yards on me. Oh, wait, was that Tommy? Oh, I want to throw a touchdown to Tommy. Damn, I didn't realize that's who that was. Ah, damn. Let him up though. It's all good. Come on, shark. Come on, baby. Let's go. How to feel low range for sure. Unless you have the best high school kicker in the nation, you're not bombing a 61. Yeah, we're good. Braxton Nightwine number one. X, are you there? Oh, damn. I was going to see if I could get around that dude too. I want to hit Tommy for another touchdown, dude. I feel bad for the guy. Yeah, that's a touchdown. Easy pass lead. Let's go. Oh, bonfire. Bonfire into the Milly Rock. Woo. The man bullets, dude. You got man bullets every time. It's just the moon. Every high school player on my defense has a 99 hit power, I swear. First in 10, that slant could go. This could go so far, depending on how fast fuller is. I don't even know what I just did with that juke right there. That's what I said for sure. Oh, good loft. Too much. Easy. Tommy, boy. I want to chew more clock, but I'll take that. Let's get another two-point. Make this 23. Maddox is not there. I'm in trouble. I'm just going to beat one up. Tommy Godin. Oh my God. I can't believe I got that off. All right, Tommy. I take it back, man. I was getting on you before, but you're kind of a homie right now. Tommy has three touchdowns. Tommy Matthews about to get that four touchdowns because I do not hold judges. I am the homie. I'm the ultimate homie. All right. First in 10, that is open. Fuller's got him. And he's got wheels. Oh my God. He's got wheels. Shit. I got pursuit angled. I wanted to bring it all the way back. All right. First in goal, I'm just going to take like a couple yards and then, oh, shit. I seriously meant to kneel that. Oh, I'm embarrassed, bro. I mean, I'll take it. Wow. And he throws a pick. And he's on his feet. Who is this man? Silver's. I don't want it. If anything, I want Bobbamy's to get it. I'm going to scramble this one in. Yup. Right up the middle. Right up the middle. Let's do a signature. What's my signature? Oh, come on. Sit down, Thrash, bro. Just sit down. That's the game, baby. 40-47. Too easy. Sports. I'm Kevin Connors, signing off. This question is for both of you. What trait do you think will give you the edge at the next level? Pro reads, gambler, freight train, or Blitz radar. I think gambler's really good. I feel like when I get in the zone, I can whip the ball all over the yard. And really, there's no one that can do anything about it. I can whip my boat. I was all around the yard and no one can do anything about it. I am the one going up and hauling in those ducks. True. All right, gents. Who wants to go first? I know you have the honors. It's the least I could do for all you've done for me. All right. Ending day will be episode number two. I don't think it's really that much of a mystery, but I got to break this up somehow. So I'll see you boys in that episode. I'm pumped. This is actually really fun. I really did have a blast playing in high school, so I'm ready to play in college. I'll see you boys in that one. Thanks for watching. As always, peace out.