 Hey, hey, thank you so much for joining me for another episode of talks with Tony. I got an email here today In one second my wife was just texting me to tell me that I am fine Thank you, baby I'm writing you because I'm in a place in my life where I really feel stuck I'm coming up on my third wedding anniversary this month and My husband and I have been separated for eight months. I Found out during the last trimester of my pregnancy last year that he was cheating on me Three weeks after the birth of our son. He left to go move in with his mistress. I Recently found out the mistress is About nine months pregnant Our son just turned nine months old. I Have so many emotions and can't seem to see the blessing in all this I have three children from a previous relationship that are almost all gone My husband wanted this baby and God allowed us to get pregnant even when the odds seemed against me because of my age I'm 42. I am angry because I didn't want to be a single mother again And I'm angry at myself because I sold myself short There were some red flags and I didn't take heave. I have lost assets and I really feel play When we got married he moved into my home that we sold because he wanted a house that we can purchase together Also, also I sold a rental property because he wanted to start a trucking business Well, everything failed We didn't move into our dream home because we couldn't afford it. The business failed and I don't know why I Lost a lot of money and he left with no regards to the sacrifices that I made I Paid for him to go to truck driving school and the job he has now is because of me Many people told me I dodged the bullet We have gone to our first court appearance and God gave me favor I filed for a divorce three months after he left I just need words of encouragement and suggestions on helping me move forward. I feel stuck. Please help me Thank you so much for sending in This letter very deep very deep you're 42 years old, you know, you've lived a lot of life You've seen some things you've experienced some things you now have four children your first three are almost gone. So you will Get a little bit of a break so to speak, but you also said almost all gone So you're still a raising for kids And if the other ones are if some are over 18 as you know, we need you all our life and so Here you are with this man The key that you said is that you missed some red flags if you can understand that and Write down the red flags that you missed and Etch them into your memory So that moving forward You vow to never ignore red flags again Now see, I don't know what your first three kids did or what they're doing But if you got married and you had another child at your age and the child came out healthy and whole and ready to go That is the blessing in this all That might be your world changer That might be your Joseph the dreamer. You remember Joseph was the youngest of his brothers in the Bible I don't know if you read the story but the story about Joseph and he was the youngest and he became the second in command of the country He was given power over all of Egypt, I believe it was His brothers tried to destroy him. They tried to sell them Throwed him in the ditch this man went from the ditch from the dungeon To the kingdom to the palace chair this last child your youngest child might be and nothing against your other three might be the one that Impacts the world and changes all of y'all's life He might be the one that becomes second in command in the kingdom and makes life easier for all of you So you have to see it as an a blessing see it as a blessing continue investing in all four of your children invest in their gifts and Invest in their their talents their passions Spend money I see you that had you some money You didn't had you some money. Guess what a woman like you if you can get it and You can lose it you can get it all over again You say you lost assets you've lost assets and you feel played the fact that you had assets to lose Let me know that you a boss you are absolute boss you sold a rental property that you owned You sold a house that you owned It's not many women who got anything to sell You had multiple homes to sell Listen to me sister you a boss that right there. You got to tap back into that you got to tap back into that And this is what you have to realize You 42 years old you still a baby When my grandma passed at 82 she would call you a baby child you a baby Wait till you get up here with me so My grandmother smoked cigarettes She smoked like a chimney from the age of 19 and lived to 82 Listen to me sister if you living right doing the right thing you could see a hundred that mean you you got 60 more years to live You hear me 60 is a lot of time a lot of people had a best seasons And don't really step into they for a true purpose in they 60s how old is Oprah Winfrey? How old is Dr. Phil how old is Steve Harvey how old is the people that we see on television that we looking up to you know With power and influence These people 50s 60s You still a baby So I want you to understand that and I want you to realize that your best is yet to come and What I mean by this is that your season of Blessings you have not even entered the best part of your life and This here man This here man Is a bomb boy He's a bomb boy He's a grown boy. You didn't say his age. He's a slickster This type of man gets what he feels is the most he can get from a woman and then he moves on to the next so his mistress is his next victim and Whatever he can get out of her and maybe she don't have assets like you had but maybe she got good credit Maybe he sees an angle that he can get in and use her. That's all he's doing. That's all he's doing because the way he did this so messy and your your youngest your son is nine months old and she nine months pregnant so He was sleeping with y'all at the same time The way he did this so messy He can't be trusted He's a doll He's a bomb He's a grown boy. He broke. He lost. He's hurting. He's dangerous. He's dangerous He's insecure an insecure weak man is the most dangerous being on the face of this earth Those are the men killing people in the streets. Those are the men killing their spouses killing their babies weak insecure men You have to Count your blessings You got four kids. That's four blessings. You can count Count your blessings that you were just released from a weak and insecure grown boy Because your best is yet to come and a man like this does not deserve to enter into that season I don't know what your best may be I just looked last night and I saw a 24-year-old boy in Wisconsin won the 470 million dollar powerball. I Don't know if that's gonna be your best He bought ten dollars worth of powerball tickets He's 24. He say he been buying powerball tickets since he was 18 Say he left work early because he felt lucky Went to the store and bought ten dollars His whole goal in life at that point was just to get a thousand dollars in his bank account now. He got four hundred million Understand you don't know where your blessing gonna come from how it's gonna come what it's gonna be but The way the universe works is When you have a good heart and you a good person The universe will move people out of your life Who don't deserve to go into your next level? You will lose friends Who are toxic? A spouse who is toxic family members who are toxic you will lose these people because you're shedding dead weight So I want everybody to understand this right here If you lose somebody because they did not value and respect you Let it go Let it go Smile look in the mirror and smile because that means your biggest blessings are on the way and This is the universe making room and creating fertile ground so that your blessings have somewhere to take root and to reap a harvest a Harvest not just for you But a harvest that will be a blessing to generations after you so that you will be able to leave homes to your kids That your kids will be able to buy more homes and leave homes to your grandkids and your great-grands This is your blessing of separation. You got to have separation before elevation and that's what this is So don't lose any more sleep. Don't be down Don't be in the dumps. Many people have told you you dodged the bullet and that is not a lie They have not told you a lie You went to your first court appearance and God gave you favor pray for more favor Pray for more favor get your ducks in a row fight your best fight in their courthouse Get all of the assets that you can get Bring up everything If you're doing it yourself or if you have an attorney You need to show that he got a new woman that she nine months pregnant that he was cheating on you show all his character Flaw show all of that so that the judge let you keep your assets and you ain't got to be paying him spousal support and Put his butt on child support. So you want to ride off into the sunset with your little side woman? Okay, make sure my check in the mail for my son every month put it butt on child support You need to be at the child support office. You ain't already went you need to be there tomorrow morning It open at 8 you need to be there 730 You need to be at the window with your fists like this on the glass 759 Being there right at the 8 a.m Child support. We want it all we want it all Because for one we're gonna hold them accountable for being a bomb boy for being a grown boy We're gonna hold them accountable And make them pay the price But hey, this Tony gas. Thank you so much for sending me your letter You know, I'm gonna keep it real with you if you Have a question that you would like me to read as you see I read them anonymously. I don't say your name You can send it to inbox at Tony gas and calm if you don't want it read on the podcast And don't send it to inbox at Tony gas and calm if you need a one-on-one session with me You can email support at Tony gas and calm I make myself available a few hours a week so that I'm still able to connect with you all so you can email Support at Tony gas and calm. Hey, thank you so much. God bless you. We'll talk soon