 I am so hurt and offended and quite frankly a little disgusted. During a time in my life that is supposed to be full of joy and full of, to me, celebration of what I've been working for for the past 10 years, really 13 years I've been in this space as a sex intimacy and relationship educator. My first book, Laid, came out in 2009. I have waited 10 years. 10 years of research, 10 years of school, 10 years of increase in my expertise, 10 years of learning and listening from to all of you and from all of you to get to this point where I feel confident enough in my abilities to say, I got something to say. I got 300 pages worth of something to say and this is fantastic and my work is good and I am good enough. And a part of the celebration of putting out something into the world that you're very proud of is that you go and you do press. When I was on Access Hollywood last week, I was a guest. I was invited as an expert, as a voice of authority, as a chance to talk about my book, but mostly I was there to give advice to a couple, a married couple who had four kids. Now a little bit of backstory, I've actually worked with Janetta and Hashim before. We met each other on the Steve Harvey show months and months ago when Janetta was actually just pregnant at the time. So I do my segment. I do a great job. I give that advice. I come off stage. I feel elated. I had a great time. I'm feeling in my expertise, in my purpose. And the very next person who is on camera, the very next guest who is there to promote their excellence and whatever they've accomplished, chose to take up a sizable portion of their segment to say this about me. So we were just talking in our last block, we were talking about keeping it spicy. I disagree with her. You do. I'm so sorry. I completely disagree with her. So what? God bless her. For example, I want, I want relationship, I want sex advice from someone like Dr. Ruth. And that is exactly why in order for me to even be sitting parallel to you, I've had to prove myself over and over and over again. I've had to work my ass off. I have had to go above and beyond to validate my right to even be sitting in the same time block as you. So all those questions that are running through your mind of why is she here? Who is she? Why are we listening to her? Trust me, there are 40 people in suits who asked that first, who made me send over an entire bio, an entire educational background before I got the opportunity to sit parallel from you. And for you to tear down everything that I have done in those three seconds to minimize me, to turn me into a punchline, there is nothing more infuriating than that little laugh that comes after you say this. God bless her. She's so cute. I mean, first of all, I want, I want relationship. I want sex advice from someone like Dr. Ruth. Dr. Ruth is an incredible historian. She is a revolutionary woman. She is an icon. She is a genius and no one can ever take that away from her. She has hashtag goals for me and I can only hope to live up to somewhat of the legacy that she has done, to be somewhat as smart, as knowledgeable, as educated, as connected, as impactful as she has been. But girl, Sarah Shahi, my name is Shan Boudram and I have been in this space for 13 years and I belong here. I have worked my ass off for a position here. And so when you see me sitting parallel to you, know that it's not just because I'm a cute face because there's a lot of cute black and brown women in this world who don't get the opportunities I have because we have so many more barriers than the average person does. So please understand that this was not my ticket in. This was my ticket in. God bless her. She's so cute. I am a graduate of Centennial College's print journalism program. I went to the University of Toronto's continuing education certification program to become a sex education counselor in Canada. I have an associate in sex education from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. I also earned a certification as a sexologist from that same institution and I was going to wait to share this but why not do it now? In September I am going back to school at the State University of New York in their science and human development program. God bless her. She's so cute. I am a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health. I am a member of Trojan's Sexual Health Advisory Council which has some of the most incredible and revolutionary minds in the sexual health space. I work with American Sexual Health Association and recently we did a project that was specially designed for new recruits for the military. I'm an ambassador for AIDS Healthcare Foundation. I'm an ambassador for women's health dot gov. God bless her. She's so cute. I am a mentee of the revolutionary Dr. Joyce Lynn Elders, Dr. Ted McElvina and Dr. Maria Trent. God bless her. She's so cute. Since moving to America five years ago I've amassed a following of half a million and I have about 10 million views across YouTube leading some really important discussions on things like orgasms for women, low sex drive, HSDD, erectile dysfunction, bacteria vaginosis, sex after pregnancy, the variances of birth controls, the spectrum of relationship structures that now exist in 2019 including a lot about open relationships, a lot about LGBT plus sex and relationships. And yes, turn on triggers. Beyond the basic biological triggers I get most people's sexual arousal cycle sparking and moving and flowing. What are the things you can specifically do to different kinds of people that get them in the schmoold. Your job today is to figure out what your turn on trigger is. So that whole thing about like, you know, learning each other's triggers and whatever turns you on, it's like, bull, mm. So what do you think? My work is very diverse but the one thing that remains consistent is my goal is to make every single viewer feel like they have the right to call themselves a relationship and sex expert. I want to arm them with the tools, with the knowledge, with the communication skills to go out there and be their own Dr. Ruth because the end of the day, why should there be barriers to having an incredible sex life? Why should there be a few people doling out information bit by bit when every single person can go out there and find the information they need to get the love life and the sex life that they want? That is what my book is about. That is why I was on that show and you want to know something in doing that. I accept and I encourage and applaud your expertise. As a woman who has had three children, you know far more than I do about that area. You know far more than I do about sexuality as a young mother. However, we are so welcome from that standpoint to disagree with each other. But did we disagree? I'd like to examine exactly what happened on the show that day because again, Hashim and Janetta are a couple that I have worked with before and I said to them, know what each other is looking for that himself is half the battle here. So what you want to do is take action towards the solution and healthy relationships are based off of self insight and mutuality. And then you said to them, it's a partnership, you know, and it's like an, especially when you have kids and you have to be able to rely on the other person. I apologize. I don't have the best of footage from this segment. I actually asked Hashim and Janetta to send me what they had taped from their phone. But in short, I said to Hashim, I want to introduce you to a word. The word is called chornography. That means that Janetta finds it hot as hell when you are helping out around the house. That is what is her turn on trigger. And if he does that for you, if he gives you chore play, that was my take. And this was Sarah's take. Sometimes you just need a good foot rub. Sometimes you need dad to do the daycare drop off. Sometimes you need dad to make you dinner. Sarah, I did not see your segment after I came off stage because I was busy getting demyced and congratulated by people for the great job that I had done and the valuable information that I had provided. But it makes me feel so sick that you sat in there and had the room laughing at me. At the end of the day, the small bit of your segment that I actually did catch when I got back to the green room, I thought, wow, she is magnetic on camera. She is really good. She is on fire. She is smart. She is hot as hell. And she knows her stuff and she knows herself. And I won't take that away from you. I still think that about you. And like you said, you are the proud mom of three awesome children. And with an awesome mom like you, it is highly likely that your kids will go on to do some exceptional things. They will defy the odds. They will break barriers. And when they break through those barriers and they show up in rooms where they don't look like the kind of person who should be in that room, I pray that they do their absolute best. I pray that they kill it. And I pray that when they do, the very next person who speaks does not say this. God bless her. She's so cute. I mean, first of all, I want, I want relationship. I want sex advice from someone like Dr. Ruth. No way. Well, you posted the best thing.