 If you'd like a few more laughs after the show, you can check out DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. I put up a new episode every day. I'm Darren Marlar. What would happen if Noah's Ark was being built for the first time today in 2017? How do you think the neighbors would respond? I'll have that story for you coming up in our moment of duh on the way. So can plants commit suicide? Well, you think it's a joke, but no. When provoked beyond their endurance, plants are quite capable of committing suicide according to a recent study. The findings were discovered by cell biologists and biochemists at Vienna University in Austria. The researchers found that when plant life is threatened by either animals or infection, they deliberately sacrifice parts of themselves. It's often a wrong assumption that immense heat or ozone kills a plant, explained study leader Andreas Bachmehr. Most of the time, plants create a special program that themselves to save what can be saved. So despite the voluntary death of certain parts of the plant, it remains alive in its core. So it doesn't actually commit suicide, but apparently it kind of maims itself in order to survive. How would you like to be a part of the show? Well, if you visit the radio show page at DarrenMarler.com, you can send me an email for my email bag. And you can find that at DarrenMarler.com, D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. Time for today's moment of duh, and for decades now, many residents of Frostburg, Maryland, they've been puzzled and annoyed at this three-story-high, 400-foot-long metal and concrete frame that Pastor Richard Green calls his modern Noah's Ark. Pastor Green said the idea came to him in a vision during 1976, and he works on this thing in his spare time while awaiting judgment day. Some neighbors are patient, but others call the Ark an eyesore that depresses property values and wastes religious charity money. So far, contributions to the Pastor Green Ark project have totaled $1 million. I would think as a pastor, he should know that God promised in the Bible never to flood the planet ever again. New research predicts that in 65 billion years, the Moon is going to crash into the Earth. I am glad I just renewed my homeowner's insurance. I'm Darren Marlar and Gerardo Gonzalez. He is very depressed right now. It seems that taxes are getting the best of him, too, but even more so than the rest of us. I'll have that story for you coming up. I'm Darren Marlar, and Apple has shared some of the new emojis that they're planning on releasing later this year, and they include a zombie, T-Rex, Zebra, Mind Blown, Vomit, Yoga, and an emoji for breastfeeding. How often is that emoji needed, and who was clamoring for that one? The UFO and Paranormal College, they've opened in Russia in response to a rash of unexplained crop circles in the region. The faculty says that they're qualified to teach the course because they have video footage featuring the type of UFO called Belgian Triangles, which they say are frequent visitors to their city. No, that's like saying that I'm qualified to teach a course on time travel because I own all of the back-to-the-future DVDs. If you'd like to keep up with everything I do, well, you can sign up for my newsletter. It's the Marlar Sheet, and you can find it at DarrenMarlar.com, that's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R. That'll also automatically enter you into contests that I hold via the newsletter. Well, a homemade license plate leads police to a criminal individual in today's brain-on drug story, but first, this story. Gerardo Gonzalez. He is a very depressed guy right now, and I don't blame him. The IRS says that Mr. Gonzalez owes the government $16,000 in back taxes. That's painful just to hear, isn't it? The IRS loses a little credibility on this story because they also say that Gerardo was working in 12 cities all at the same time. Well, that has not stopped them, though. They're still withholding $3,000 from this poor guy's paychecks to pay the tax bill. According to the IRS, Mr. Gonzalez worked simultaneously in Arkansas, Arizona, Texas, North Carolina, Indiana, Nebraska, Iowa, Maryland, and Tennessee. Well, after much explaining, the IRS, the Social Security Administration, and the FBI are now finally convinced that, okay, well, maybe he wasn't working in all those states at the same time. Gosh, really? Well, they've concluded that other people must be using his Social Security number, so they've canceled the debt and will return his money. Gerardo, though, isn't so sure that this matter is over, and, well, knowing our government, I don't blame him for thinking that, so just in case the IRS comes back, he's actually sold his car because he doesn't want the government to repossess it. It must be true, because I heard it on the radio, it must be true, it must be true. This is the Darren Marlar radio show, Audio Rewind. Hey, if you want to like me, poke me, tweet me, follow me, or stalk me, you can find links to all of my social media at DarrenMarlar.com, that's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. Each day at this time, I talk about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there's a toll-free number you can call. It's 1-800-4-3-8-0-3-8-0, that's the addiction, hope, and helpline, 1-800-4-3-8-0-3-8-0. Mitchell Rawlerson of Seville, Florida, he was arrested by Seminole County Sheriff's Deputies on his 16th drunk driving charge, as well as driving on a permanently revoked license and other charges. Their first drew their attention was not his erratic driving, but the fact that the license plate on his van was hand-drawn. He couldn't stay inside the lines on the license plate or on the road, apparently. A recent study found that women find stubble more attractive than any other kind of facial hair, and even more than a clean shaven face. Researchers theorize it's because scruff makes a dude look more mature. However, ladies, this does not work the other way around. We do not think your legs stubble is sexy. If you miss any part of the show, you can catch up at darrenmarler.com, that's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R dot com. While you know the old saying, what goes around comes around, it is now backed by science. A Harvard study confirms that being kind to other people is contagious, it's benefiting all of us, so be good for goodness sake. Study participants played a public goods game in which one person gave money to other people. The players didn't know each other before the game, and they never played it more than once with the same person. But despite their lack of personal connections, the players' generosity in the first round was tripled by others who were influenced to show even further kindness by giving more money. The conclusion was that when folks are the recipient of generous acts, they pay it forward, creating a domino effect of increasing kindness. Among other fascinating findings by the study's researchers, Harvard University physician Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, a social scientist at the University of California, San Diego, they say that happiness, loneliness and obesity also have a contagious effect. Archaeologists digging at the site of the Wright Brothers' home in Dayton, Ohio have uncovered a button, two nails, and some broken china that may have belonged to the Wright Brothers, which finally answers the question as to where their luggage ended up. Does being bilingual make you smarter? The answer to that is coming up. I'm Darren Marlar, and if you like scary stories, you might want to check out my show Weird Darkness. It's online only, and you can find it on WeirdDarkness.com, a special page on my website WeirdDarkness.com. So what would you do if you were forced to pay child support for a child that's not even yours? How's that for something that is totally outrageous? In Texas, 45-year-old Gabriel Corneo has been told by the courts that he must pay $82,000 in back child support for a child that's not only not his, but he's only met once. Back in 2003, a child support court ruled that Corneo had to pay child support to his ex-girlfriend who had recently given birth because she vowed that there was no way he wasn't the rightful dad. Well, Corneo, who is currently raising three children of his own and two nephews, he claimed that he was not made aware of his daughter and only found out about the child support payments last year when a deputy served in court papers, claiming that the state of Texas lists him as having another child. Well, soon he met the minor for the first and only time, describing her as a wonderful girl, but then a DNA test proved that he was not her father. But get this though, Texas Family Code Chapter 161 states that even if one is not the biological father, they still owe support payments that accrued before the paternity test proves otherwise. So, in Corneo's case, that amounts to $82,000. The case is due back in court next month. I'm Darren Marlar. If you'd like to hear the show anytime, you can find it at darrenmarlar.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R dot com. Coming up next, it's your birthday wrap-up, but first, does being bilingual make you smarter? Here's another reason to encourage your kids to learn a second language. Being fluent in a foreign tongue increases cognitive abilities in the younger years and makes the brain healthier later in life, offering protection against dementia, say experts. Researchers at York University in England say speaking two languages can strengthen key brain pathways and enhance mental flexibility. Bilingualism, it has a beneficial effect on cognitive development in children, says study leader Dr. Ellen Bilstock. It also makes the brain more resilient as people grow older. Kind of makes me wish I'd paid attention to Spanish class when I was a freshman and junior high. Welcome to Canadian Language Tapes, Volume 1. When you hear this sound, please repeat what's been said. Starting now with the Canadian alphabet. Let's begin. A-A-B-A-C Wait, why doesn't A come after C? No, A is first A. A is first and then C? No, then B-A. Well, where's C? After B-A. So, B is first. No, A is first A. A? A. Then C. No, B-A. So, B is first. No, A is first A. Alright, look. Two letters of the Canadian alphabet. A-B-C, eh? So, there is an A after C. No, it's D then, eh? C-A-D? No, A is first, eh? Okay, let's try a Canadian sentence. Okay, I come from B-C, eh? Now translate that. Translate? You know, what does it mean in English? Oh, it means I come from British Columbia. Isn't there an A after the C? No, the A comes first, eh? Alright, fine. Forget it. Look, this has been Canadian Language Tapes, Volume 1. Don't bother looking for Volume 2. Could peer pressure be a good thing? We're going to find out the answer to that coming up in just a few minutes. I'm Darren Marlar. Today's Question Impossible. What was the name of Walt Disney's Family Dog? What was the name of Walt Disney's Family Dog? I'll have the answer for you coming up here in just a few minutes. Right now, though, it's time for a joke of the day. A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City where a woman may go to choose a husband. While among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates, you may visit the store only once. There are six floors and the attributes of the men increases as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any man from a particular floor or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building. And again, you can only shop here once. So a woman goes to the husband's store to find a husband and on the first floor, the sign on the door reads Floor 1. These men have jobs and love the Lord. Well, she moves on to the second floor and the second floor sign says Floor 2. These men have jobs, love the Lord and love kids. The third floor sign reads Floor 3. These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good looking. Wow, she thinks, but she feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads Floor 4. These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous and help with the housework. Oh mercy me, she exclaims, I can hardly stand it. Still though, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads Floor 5. These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. Well she is so tempted to stay there, but her suspense and her curiosity, they get the best of her. And she continues on to the sixth floor. She gets to the sixth floor and the sign reads Floor 6. You are visited 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor is here to simply prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the husband's store. Watch your step as you exit the building and have a nice day. The Darren Marlar Radio Show! If you'd like a few more laughs after the show, well you can check out my Daily Dose of Weird News. I've got a new episode every weekday and you can find it at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Up next, a mugging victim gives the crooks a run for their money. Or should I say a run for her money? Our moment of duh is on the way. So could peer pressure be a good thing? Well, teenagers who have close friends are more likely to have better health as young adults. According to Health Day News, they did some research with the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. And they said these results indicate that remaining close to, as opposed to separating oneself from the peer pack in adolescence, it has long-term implications for adult physical health, wrote study co-author Joseph Allen in the journal Psychological Science. The study found that those who enjoyed high-quality friendships and had a high desire to fit in with their peers during adolescence, they had far better health at age 27 than those who separated themselves from their peers during the teenage years. This held even after the researchers accounted for other factors like income, weight and drug use. So why is this? Strong friendships and feeling of being part of a group as a teenager, it may influence adult health by lowering anxiety and stress levels. I guess the key there is just making sure that your teen is in the right peer group. How would you like to be a part of the Darren Marlar radio show? I would love to get an email from you if you visit the radio page at www.darranmarlar.com. You can send me an email for my email bag, that's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. According to a survey by Driver's Seat Road Rage, Houston was the home of the least courteous drivers in America. Instead of howdy, Houston residents are now greeting people with rude hand gestures. And for today's moment of duh, a mugging victim gives the crooks a run for their money or should I say a run for her money. We got actually two criminal in-duh vigils in today's moment of duh. These two boneheads snatched the purse of Pamela McCarthy and they took off running down the street. What they didn't know was that 40-year-old Pamela was a marathon runner and she chased them for more than a mile before they finally ran into their own apartment. You then called the cops, who came over, retrieved her purse and arrested them. Thanks for listening to the Darren Marlar Radio Show, I'm Darren Marlar, I hope you had as much fun as I did and if you like to listen to past shows, you can find them right now in my free mobile app, just search for Marlar House in your phone app store. I'm going to leave you today with this thought, be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Good night ladies, good night sir. Hit it sweetheart.