 Lux presents Hollywood the Lux radio theater brings you the great Gilder sleeve Unimerco and Gula Bondi in the show on ladies and gentlemen your producer mr. Cecil B. DeMille greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen the night Fibber McGee and Molly introduced a new character into their show called Gilder sleeve I'm sure no one could have foreseen the fantastic success story to which we add another chapter tonight mr. Gilder sleeve made a great hit with Fibber and Molly's audience and soon had a radio program of his own then came a series of pictures at RKO and tonight we've cast him in one of the great comedy hits of the American theater it's George Kelly's famous play the show off and to show off the great Gilder sleeve in the proper setting we've co-starred him with Unimerco and Gula Bondi you'll find another name on Gilder sleeve's birth certificate Harold Perry to be exact but mr. Perry has been swallowed up by mr. Gilder sleeve for the great enjoyment of the American people in the show off he plays Aubrey Piper the gentleman with the talent for getting into trouble witnessed the case of his brother-in-law's invention which you'll hear more about in just a moment some inventors are remembered by everyone the names of others are lost in the fog of time the airplane the electric light the wireless any school child knows who was responsible for them but nobody knows who invented the wheel or who invented soap yet someone did invent soap hundreds of years before it reached the level of perfection that's called Lux toilet soap I leave it to you how many modern inventions would you give up before you do without soap in research for a picture about Cleopatra which I made a few years ago I discovered that she had several ladies in waiting whose job it was to help her keep beautiful but all the wealth and power of the ancient Queen of Egypt didn't serve her half as well as the Queen of any American home is served by a cake of Lux toilet soap but now the show goes on with the show off and here's the first act starring the great Gilder sleeve as Aubrey Piper you know Merkel as Amy and Bula Bondi as Mrs. Fisher it's eight o'clock on a Wednesday evening and Amy Fisher is a flutter with excitement eight o'clock Wednesday is a big moment in Amy's life or at ten after a certain party will ring the doorbell of the little frame house near Philadelphia hurriedly she dabs a powder pop at her nose and then hearing the front door open she rushes to the head of the stairs mama was at the door yes it was it was your sister oh mama when the bell rings let me answer it hello Clara how's Frank all right mama did you see my blue bar pin it was in my drawer well look in the drawer I haven't seen it what's all the excitement mama Wednesday night oh is that fella still coming here oh right on the dot such as he is it looks like a steady thing Clara you're never in your life heard anybody talk so much I don't know how Amy stands him your pop can hardly stay in the room where he is doesn't she take him into the parlor she does yes but you might just as well leave him out here because he's not in there five minutes till he's out here in the kitchen again talking about politics you're thinking you something about it and the investment business he's always talking about that too that's where he works you know the Billins investment company he says he's head of the sales department but I says to your brother Joe I says I don't know how he can be head of anything from the talk of him Joe says he's a nut but you don't dare say anything to Amy about him oh no she thinks he's heaven's gift to the Fisher family and for all she knows about him he could be a tramp in the park said with the Billins company well that's where he works though mom how do you know Frank knows him you're Frank uh-huh he says he eats his lunch at the same place they're at 15th and arch and does he say he knows him why sure he says he's seen him around there for a long time Frank calls him Carnation Charlie he says he's always got a big carnation in his buttonhole and carries a cane that's the one he's always got it when it comes here to I believe in my heart Clara that's what's turned your sister's head did Frank say what his name was Aubrey Piper I think that's it Aubrey Piper sounds more like a place than a man's name what does he do at Billings he's a clerk I knew it head of the sales department well is that not arrived yet not yet but he will I hope to have any stays in the parlor tonight I want to read my paper and if he slaps me on the back once more I'll kill him that laugh of his enough to drive a man crazy what's that must be Joe he's down the cellar trying to fix the radio Joe is that you give me a hand with a set will you pop I thought you was gonna keep it downstairs there isn't enough light okay thanks pop well is that screwball come in yet well he certainly is a big hit with his family laughing Louis he's a first-class pest that guy every time I'm working on something he sticks his nose in it what are you doing what are you doing you know that formula I've been working on to prevent rust he got his nose into that the other night to next time he does it he's gonna get sucked oh there he is now Amy put out the light in here and shut the door maybe you'll think we've gone out well I gotta go I'll go out the back door if you don't want to be here all night anyway goodbye mom goodbye pop goodbye be quiet now if he hears a voice in here he'll pop in here like a jump in just a minute all three hello all three greetings on you little girl how's every little thing hitting on all three right on the job Amy 10 minutes past on the dot the pride of old West Philly never misses no sir I'll take your hat I'll be anything to please the ladies here you are and the boy rode off with many thanks and many a backward bottle come on in the pot or I'll be at one second little gal one little favor never again will I trouble the bell of old North Philly how about a drink of the old aqua pura huh that's water to me I'll be right back make yourself comfortable don't you worry about me little girl Amy Amy shut that door what's the matter mom I just want to get a drink of water for all three listen Amy I don't want that fellow popping in here good evening ladies and gents yeah stay right where you are folks right where you are going right out of the next train how are you little mother evening pop hi Joe hello Amy step on the gas with the old aqua pura man's got to have a drink how about a pop you'll stay with me on that a pop listen I don't like to be slapped on the back yes sir yes sir I want to tell you this is a very pretty little picture of domestic Felicity father reading mother knitting and little old Joe Edison Fisher there working 18 hours a day to make the rich man richer and the poor man poor what about it popcorn am I right or raving let me alone or take the hands to yourself I never saw such a pest in my life what's the matter with popsy wopsy little office feed a mother Fisher thank you my dear blushing as she gave it looking down at her feet so bare and her tattered gown how's that mother Fisher can't beat that little old Willie Shakespeare now can you know sir I'd like to tell the brothers that that little old Shakespeare party shook a wicked spear yeah well here's laughter ladies and mr. Marconi my best regards to you very nice indeed and a sweet had dropped from a fairer hand was never caught all you well mr. Joseph what are you doing what are you doing Joseph I am fixing something add it again a young inventor himself well mr. Joseph I want to tell you you're wasting your time when you're all through they'll offer you 20 cents for it and sell it for 20 million take it or leave it signed on the dotted line yes sir that's exactly what they did a little old yours truly here 20 Lincoln and the condors for a formula that would have solved the greatest problem before the industrial chemical world today what kind of a formula why a formula to prevent the rusting of iron and steel a solution of vanadium and manganese to be added to the metal in its molten state instead of applied externally where did you hear that yeah you want my boy about a rust preventative using vanadium and manganese little idea of my own yeah you heard it right here in this room I was talking about it last Sunday oh you thought of it too well just goes to show you Joe great minds running the safe shut up you give me a swift pain I love that boy yes mother Fisher that little boy of yours has got some great ideas I was speaking to some of the men who work under me just the other day mother I said gentlemen the inventive genius in this country is we going mother I got a touch of the same pain good night must be an epidemic around here oh well I'll be I'll be let's go in the party shall we yeah you know Amy sometimes I get a funny feeling that your folks don't like me any brave hearts are asleep in the day so be well be a little high I guess oh yes mother do you want something I just wanted to tell you that it's nearly 12 o'clock we're all going to bed around here I was just about to take my reluctant leave little mother well I don't want to hurry and not at all not at all in fact the recent outbursts in the nature of farewell concert a little old song of twilight you know mother Fisher to soothe the savage beast yeah come on Aubrey I'll walk to the gate with you yes sir yes sir the beautiful night all right look at that moon up there Amy is that a moon or is that a moon I say it's a moon oh it's beautiful yeah you know it's times like this when a man gets to thinking Amy yes the Aubrey yes sir that old moon up there makes you think a lot of things a man's got to be pretty careful oh but when a man's knocked around the world like I have a man gets pretty wise when a man meets the right girl man knows he's met the right girl you follow me I think so Aubrey Amy you think a married couple can be happy on a hundred dollars a week oh Aubrey yes I do be nice if they had it too Aubrey is that is that how much you well more or less more or less right now it's a little less but I'm thinking of putting over a deal Amy just between us two you know I don't think it makes any difference how much a man makes I think when a girl cares for a man loves a man that's all that counts the only important thing in the world or should be even if he doesn't have a dime don't you well I got two nickels no no I mean don't you think don't you think about love oh sure ever since I was 14 Amy yes sir it's a little old stupid dart that counts and after all you can't buy happiness can you definitely not so they say well well well well Amy what do you think huh about you mean about yeah what do you say is it a goal say yes Amy say you'll pool your coffee ration with me Aubrey you mean will I marry you that's the general thought I'm trying to convey oh Aubrey yes I will Aubrey anytime you say to Amy Amy Piper I'm not gonna let you do it I won't stand for it no mama stop it I'm gonna marry him and that's all there is to it but you don't even know him you don't know what he does or how much he makes or anything about it I don't have to I know I like him and that's enough all right but remember this Amy be sure that he keeps you and you keep him and don't be coming around here for your pop to keep you mama don't make me laugh Aubrey's got a wonderful position he makes plenty of money who says so I just know from the way he talks he makes at least a hundred dollars a week whoever heard of a clerk making a hundred a week a clerk where did you hear that from Frank Highland what does Frank Highland know about it he knows Aubrey Piper and Frank says he's a clerk down there just like five million other all that just shows how much he knows about it Aubrey told me he makes a hundred dollars a week and what's more he's gonna swing a great big deal pretty soon the only thing he'll ever swing is that Cain he carries Amy dear I'm warning you once and for all mama why don't you let me make my own life you took who you wanted didn't you and Clara took the man she wanted well I'm gonna take what I want and I want Aubrey Piper you'd like a raise a pepper well that's the general idea I was trying to convey mr. Williams what for well the way I figured is this a man's gonna get married well when a man gets married he's got to have enough to support a wife right right and I figure about a hundred a week maybe a little more how much you make now Piper 35 not very much mr. Williams now it isn't but this investment business isn't what it used to be either yes sir but 35 is all your worth power but mr. Williams what I've seen of your ability gets more than your worth yes sir now would you like 35 or nothing at all no sir what makes you think you're entitled to a raise well I don't have to get married to you no sir and put it off for a while yes sir but I that's all Piper that's all goodbye yes sir yes sir yes sir yeah look how did it go where did you get the race oh the race oh yes we talked it over the boss and I he he's gonna sleep on it I hope he has nightmares she pretty lucky Piper well there's nothing to it if you got the right approach Fred I got any good word for you too yeah oh gee thanks well I'll go to lunch now gotta feed the old furnace you know see you're on Fred hi I'll bring what it'd be hi Sam I'll have a ham on rye and a chocolate frosting and don't spare the ice cream Sam two scoops oh two scoops sure what do I care that's a nickel X tree Aubrey slap it in there Sam you know Piper the old sport himself sure one ham on one frosted double Aubrey Aubrey Amy what are you doing way down here Aubrey I have to speak to you say I'm glad you came Amy you know that deal I was talking about well it didn't go through honey I mean Aubrey listen so I was just thinking maybe if we could postpone getting Aubrey I've got to tell you darling it's awfully important I've done it Aubrey done what I've done it I've left home you oh I just had to I couldn't stand it anymore and I just told mama I said I'm leaving mama and that's that you told mama huh well I was just gonna tell you Amy that deal I mean where are you gonna live I don't know I haven't even thought about it I burned my bridges Aubrey you burned mine too oh well I I guess we better get married pretty soon then huh do you suppose we could oh sure you just leave everything to me and it doesn't really make any difference does it I mean we were going to be married anyway and well you make so much money and all and oh Aubrey tell me it's all right oh it's fine Amy it's fine just a minute hey Samuel Samuel yeah cancel out extra scoop will you act two of the show off starring the great Gilda sleeve as Aubrey Piper Bueller Bondi as Mrs. Fisher and you know Merkel as Amy six months have passed and the romance of Amy and Aubrey has blossomed into marriage Amy is too proud to admit it to her family but she has discovered that why sometimes do at her mate is more talk than action he's not the head of his department nor does he earn the expected $100 per week and now in the Piper kitchenette the financial question has again reared its ugly head build build build Aubrey what are we going to do how's the coffee coming along Amy boy can't be late to work you know Aubrey listen to me sure what's on your mind Aubrey we've just got to get some money we can't go on like this any longer why not we've been getting fine have we look at this we owe $30 to the butcher 23 to the grocer 8 10 to the milkman and the janitor was here about the rent again I'll speak to him on the way out on your way out is right he's gonna throw us out Friday you mean he's threatened us why he can't get away with that I'll break the lease that's what I'll do how about a piece of toast honey Aubrey he can get away with it we've got to pay up or get out all right we'll get out I never like this place anyway the bathtub gurgles have you got any peanut butter Aubrey how can I make you understand listen honey do me a favor when you forget about it everything's going to be fine is it how you just keep your eye on the boy from West Philly that's all now I didn't want to mention this but I'm working on a deal right now it'll put us right up there on top where's the jelly what kind of a deal Aubrey never mind you'll see but I want to know well it's a little idea I've had in the back of my head for a long time what idea it's pretty technical Amy all great tell me what is it well it's a rust preventive a combination of magnesium and vanadium and all great that's Joe's idea that's the thing he's been working on for years oh beat me to a day well a more power to a good evening do you want to know hello mother what's the good word mother been siphoning out any gas tanks lately where's Amy is she here no ain't she home no I just came by there well she ain't been here today she was saying this morning she thought you'd go out and look for a house today I suppose she hasn't got back yet I wanted to take her to the movies I got the loan to Harry Albright's car did you say she was out looking for a house yeah we got to get out of that place we're in the acne machine people have bought the whole block they're gonna put up a new factory there how soon do you have to get out Friday I mean as soon as we find another place I'm afraid you won't find it's easy to get a place as reasonable as that again in a hurry I don't want a place as reasonable as that I want a real home Mamma Mia something with ground around it or I can do a bit of tennis in the evening well if you do you'll pay for it that's exactly what I expected to mother Fisher not giving you a short answer of course that's exactly what I expected to and no more of the old first of the month business for this growing boy he's all washed up signed on the dotted line I'm gonna buy a mother by by what a house mother Fisher a real little home you ought to go out along the boulevard some Sunday some fine little buys out there well there's no danger of you're going out along the boulevard except for a walk yeah a lot of people out that way brother and a man's got to live someplace well if he's wise he'll live where he's able to pay for it besides you haven't got any furniture for a house unless you don't mind sitting on the floor a matter of furniture nowadays little mother is a very inconsequential item it's still cost money don't it money money that's something that never worries me I know but it worries me how are you gonna buy furniture when you haven't got any money to even buy a house don't fret meter there's things in the wind things in the wind well there ought to be there's plenty of it plenty of what mother plenty of wind yeah right there with sense of humor a well I guess I'm much along yes much oh say if Amy calls tell her I got the loan to Harry Albright's car Fred Myers and I'll meet her in front of the Rivoli at eight bells I suppose you mean eight o'clock don't you give the lady a cigar professor well cheerio Mrs. Whistler who Mrs. Whistler man's dream of an ideal mother oh shut up you fool go on mooch yeah cheerio gal many brave hearts are asleep in the deep well well jojo the dog face boy how's the lad oh I'm okay fine what's the matter Joe you look excited well I am in a way look Aubrey can you keep your mouth shut about something you can trust me Jose Sphinx Piper my friends call me what Sphinx Sphinx oh that Joe what's the secret well I sold it sold it sold what my invention the rust preventative no yeah I was down at the Miller grant office all day I went over the whole thing with him and we're going to tie it all up Monday morning nice work mr. Joseph I hope you got yourself a good slice of the old moola I think it's all right they're going to give me $50,000 for it 50 fast not bad not bad if first offer I suppose first and last I'm grabbing it don't be a sucker Joe giving the old hard to get treatment they'll come through with twice that oh no this is too good to fool around with anyway I'm satisfied you know we can do a lot with that money we certainly can I was talking about the family the family yes course that's what I meant but I still think you could get more Joe what you need is somebody to go in there and talk to those guys somebody to cut it out William I'm satisfied I'm sorry I mentioned it to you at all right there Fred well best of luck Joe my boy don't forget now don't say anything about it mom's the word Joe mom's the word I thought you said you knew how to drive what's the matter Fred we're getting there aren't we yeah but I hate to think what Harry's car is going to be like don't you worry about the car Fred everything's under control so I hear got a slipping clutch that's what it is hey that's a red light you better stop there oh boy you'll bring you're about the world's worst I think I've got to get out and walk oh we'll be there any minute just let that little old light give me to go ahead Fred and we'll be zipping on our way did you see that guy he cut right in front of me that was a police car what a police car you're slam right into a police car good evening officer had a little brush here and nothing serious I hope a oh no no you just knocked three of our wheels off that's all take it easy Mike you go along have that arm fixed I'll take care of this fellow go along now all right but you better report about the car don't worry Mike did that others John Darme get hurt oh no I think it's just a little matter of a broken arm nothing serious as you say broken arm well how did that happen I'm not sure but I think he was waving to a friend he threw it out of joint all right let's see your license license license oh you mean my driver's license you know what I mean sure let me see now that's not that's not it oh my draft card for pH pH positively hopeless they ain't kidding either it got me that time now let's see come on come on give me a license well officer I'll tell you the truth you beat me to it by three days what are you talking about well I've been meaning to get a license for some time as a matter of fact I was going down there for one next Tuesday I just a minute am I hearing things are you trying to tell me that you don't have a license yeah you got me again officer I've got you all right get out of that car I can't understand it I waited at the movies for over an hour he wasn't gonna come he would have called here wouldn't he don't ask me what he'd do I'm beginning to get worried he says you've got to get out of that place you're in yes yes that's what I was doing today looking around for something did you see anything oh I saw a couple of places that were fair but they want too much money you're not really looking for a house are you Amy yes if I can find one Aubrey says he will not live in rooms any longer and he doesn't want to pay rent he wants to buy Amy I thought you had a little sense but you're nearly as bad as him you talk awfully silly mother you'd think everybody that was married was living out in the street no that's where a good many of them would be living Amy only that somebody belonging to him is giving him a hand you're ever less than borrowing as it is well I always pay it back don't I mean you do when you get it but that's not the point Amy it's that's what you get one week don't last you till the next oh mother let me alone if you were trying to make me say I'm sorry I'm married Aubrey well I'm not I'm glad I married him and I wouldn't change him for anyone else I ever met in my life so there all right Amy but someday that man's gonna bring trouble on us I can feel it my bones he won't bring trouble and if he does it'll be between him and me you don't have to worry all right all right Amy is that you Joe it's me mom oh hello Clara what you doing here well I don't know isn't Frank here your friend he called up the house and said I better get right over here with something about Aubrey what about Aubrey well I don't know I couldn't understand what he was saying oh I hear you moving Amy yes we are we want a house a house oh Amy if you can't pay your rent where you are how do you expect to pay more how do you know I'm not able to pay my rent where I am now don't you start a fight but I just like to know what business it is of hers whether I can pay my rent or not nobody's asking her to pay it oh no well your husband's been to Frank Highland twice already to pay it but that's a lot it is not he's asked him twice and got it too so I put a stop to it mama make her take that back I won't it's true now you have shot both of you I guess if Clara says it's true Amy she must know and it just goes to prove what I say I told her I told her that man would start well now who should arrive oh well it's not she's little mother is Amy here well man say what's happened to you what's that bandage on your head bandage oh yes nothing to get upset about beginning to rain outside mother never mind the rain the rain didn't do that to you I guess you ran into somebody didn't you don't get excited mama had just a little misunderstanding on the part of the traffic officer you don't mean to tell me that you ran into a traffic officer control now little mother I assure you there's no occasion for undue solicitation good evening Clara what happened to your head the various trifle Mrs. Highland just a little spray from the windshield where's that car you borrowed smashed I guess ain't it the car I borrowed mother fishers not on the hands of the bandits of the law the judicial gentlemen who collect fines for motorists by ordering them to go one way then swearing they told them to go another never mind your fancy talk I want to know who you killed and where's the automobile that someone was cool enough to lend you the automobile little mother is perfectly safe parked and pastoring in the courtyard of the police station so you've got a rest it well I accompanied the officer as far as the station house yes and while I was there I told him a few things about the condition of traffic in this city I guess they told you a few things too didn't they repeat the question shut up yes what did they do fine you well they were all set to find me when I got through with them they didn't have a leg to stand on so they trumped up a charge of driving an automobile without license did they take the automobile away from you nothing of a sort they simply complied with the usual procedure in a case of this kind which is to release the defendant on bond pending the extent of the victim's injuries so there was somebody injured the traffic cop that ran into heaven say couldn't you find anybody but a traffic cop to run into I didn't run into him mother you don't understand the circumstances of the case well I understand this much they can give you ten years for a thing like that and it'd just serve you right if they did to borrow and people's automobiles and know and know more about running them than I do no time like the present to learn mother well you have plenty of time from now on if that officer seriously injured he was faking a broken arm around there when I left it's a wonder to me the poor goof wasn't signed on the dotted line he ran head-on right into me did they take the cop to the hospital I believe they did oh great what happened to a little woman herself hi Amy what is it all great nothing in the world baby I had a little mix-up on broad neary Avenue you didn't get hurt did you nothing but a scratch on the medulla obligato just a little shake up he nearly killed a traffic officer that's how much of a shake up it was you didn't all be just certainly not a me your mother's rape the man's in the hospital I don't know what more you want is he all you think I'd be here if he was you wouldn't be here only that someone was full enough to bail you out instead of letting you stay there for you couldn't be killing people are you out on bail all great they always bail a man in the case like this Amy they got my car on their hands I just got a call around for it Tuesday morning at 10 o'clock I guess you just got to go down there to a hearing Tuesday morning at 10 o'clock and pay your fine I guess that's the automobile you've got to call for how much did they find your all great they didn't find me at all they'll do that Tuesday time will tell that mother Fisher how much bail did they put you under Aubrey 1000 berries Amy 1000 that's regulation little chicken feed for the stool pigeons did you say a thousand dollars that's what I said mother Fisher 1000 trifles I wouldn't kid you you wouldn't kid anybody that listened to you for five minutes and who did you get to go a thousand dollars bail for you don't be alarmed little mother I saw that the affair was kept strictly within the family what do you mean your other son-in-law was kind enough to come forward do you do you mean my husband that's the gentleman Clara mr. Francis X Highland don't you think you'd better go to bed in a minute I'm thinking Amy is your head hurting you and I'm thinking that hard besides it's just a couple of little scratches Aubrey what do you think they'll do to you down there Tuesday I don't worry about that sweetie oh but they're getting awfully strict what if that traffic cop has hurt bad oh it'll only be a fine for reckless driving even they could prove it was reckless driving and I can prove it was the officer's fault a little bit very likely apologizing to me around there Tuesday morning instead of finding me oh I wouldn't care if they only find you Aubrey because I could go back to work until it was paid you'll never go back to work kid while I'm on the boat I wouldn't mind it Aubrey not while you're my wife Amy I'm the provider around here you don't think they might do anything else till you do your Aubrey oh they might try to take away my license you haven't got a license have you that's where I fooled them Aubrey Aubrey what is it they send them to prison for if look Amy everything's okay I've got the whole thing worked out my mind right now all I've got to do is pay that little old fine and I was free as the air why it's a cinch how much will the fine be well I can't tell maybe that thousand buried a thousand dollars where'll you get a thousand dollars now stop it stop it honey look I'll have that thousand dollars Monday it's a breeze a thousand dollars Monday sure how that look if a fella was gonna sell something for ten dollars see and I knew it was worth at least 20 dollars see well if I went to the men who were gonna buy it for ten and I convinced them they ought to pay 20 well I'd be entitled to a commission now wouldn't I at least two percent two percent of the difference signed on the dotted line and I got my thousand bucks but Aubrey well that would mean that that you'd have to sell something for for a hundred thousand dollars that's the ticket Amy you mean that somebody's selling something for 50 thousand and that you can get a hundred thousand for it Amy it's a cinch what do you say little lady mr Miller ready to see me yet let's see now you're mr Piper aren't you that's the name little lady just tell him I'm here about mr Fisher's invention oh I told him that already mr Piper thank you little lady I don't know what I do that's you oh you go on no you go on Mr Gray yes mr Miller I'll see mr Piper now yes sir that door over there mr Piper oh thank you thank you many brave hearts out of sleep in the deep so deep ah good morning mr Miller morning come in Piper's the name Aubrey Piper you do sit down thank you mr Miller I've come to see you about the rust preventative so I hear well where's mr Fisher he was going to be here at 11 a sign of papers so I came at 10 the signing of the papers can wait I think oh are you an interested party in this deal mr Piper well slightly yes I'm uh I'm mr Fisher's business advisor oh I see well he's a fortunate young man oh very fortunate and that's what I like to see mr Miller a young man getting someplace pulling himself up by the seat of his pants yes mr Miller it's the American invented genius that's put this country where it is today and I'm here to state that every right-thinking citizen has the duty no sir the privilege of doing everything in their power to help the growing boy along am I right or wrong shake it up brother shake it up just a moment please yes now now let's not beat around the bush I'm a man of a few words mr Miller and I can see that you are too now what I like to do is come straight to the point sign on the dotted line wrap it up and take it away now you know what this boy has done just one little idea you say one simple operation that's true mr Miller but we can't pass it off like that oh no now you're a businessman mr Miller your time is valuable and so is mine so let's settle right down now here just what are you talking about mr Fisher's invention what else well you're a little late we went all over this with mr Fisher last week we're giving him $50,000 for this morning now you hit it mr Miller right on the old button $50,000 a paltry measly contemptible shame on you mr Miller what's that think of it put yourself in this boy's place $50,000 is a very fair price not for genius mr Miller genius priceless and I'm here to stay wait wait please I might understand that you'd like to call this deal off now now mr Miller don't you jump to conclusions we want you to have this invention but at a fair price all right mr piper let's have your proposition thank you mr Miller in the first place we want $100,000 on the line as an advance oh really a check will do but cash won't hurt number two the Miller grant company will have to sell it at their own expense I see and number three we want one half the net on every gallon sold as a royalty there you are mr Miller that's our proposition and a fairer one you couldn't find am I right or wrong shake it up brother shake it up mr piper I'm afraid you're wrong yet I said you're wrong now listen here I'll do the talking now who do you think you are walking in here trying to bulldoze me out of $50,000 we made a fair price and we were ready to stand by it if I don't like though you do business mr piper this and you can go back and tell mr fisher that he can thank you for this deal falling through now what was that the deal is off we won't give you a lead nickel now now wait I'm sorry mr piper good morning but you can't do this oh yes I can there will no paper signed and there won't be any paper sign I'll get out mr Miller you're making a terrible mistake please get out now let's be reasonable huh we'll come down a little bit make a 75 I told you I wouldn't make it 60 no 55 no 53 no 52 no 51 no you're a hard man mr Miller and just for that we won't sell it to you at all we'll take our product elsewhere and you'll regret this to the end of your days just remember whenever you hear the fisher piper process that you could have been in on the ground floor and you missed your chance good morning sir oh this is one of my bad days we pause now for station identification this is the Columbia broadcasting system now here's a question for the women in our audience if you could make your stockings last far longer just by doing one very easy thing would you do it of course you would then listen to this recent tests show how to cut down stocking runs over 50 percent yes a famous laboratory the united states testing company incorporated repeatedly washed rayon stockings different ways then tested them on an almost human machine a sort of mechanical leg that strains stockings the way you do in actual wear here's what they found washing with new improved luxe cut down runs over 50 percent yes the luxe stockings tested on the machine didn't go into runs nearly as easily as stockings washed with a strong soap or rubbed with cake soap they lasted ever so much longer you see new improved luxe saves elasticity so stockings can take extra strain without breaking into runs so easily and here's what girls find in actual experience why i got over twice the wear for my luxe stockings luxe cut my runs almost in half that means a lot now that stockings are so precious better stick to luxe and avoid those enemies of stockings cake soap rubbing and strong soaps uh one special hint about rayons they need 24 to 48 hours drying time get new improved luxe tomorrow it's in the same familiar box and your dealer has it right now now mr. de mill returns to the microphone now the curtain rises and the third act of the show off starring the great gilda sleeve you know michael and duela bondy it's the morning of orbri's trial in the corridor just off the courtroom the luckless show off stands cracking his knuckles with nervousness for the first time in his life orbri is scared with him is his benefactor with sad faced sad eyed man his brother-in-law frank ilan and take it easy orbri don't try to tell the judge his business he finds you just keep your mouth shut i'll take care of whatever it costs g frank certainly a swell of you to stick by me like this oh it's all right if i can ever do anything for you just tip me off yeah things certainly been going awful lately did did you hear about joe joe and no what's the matter with joe he had a deal all set for 50 000 for his invention went down there yesterday and they wouldn't even see him well what do you know no explanation or anything no well just goes to show you you can't trust those fellas as far as you can throw them yeah we sure knew what gummed it up so do i orbri oh hello amy glad you got here kid hello frank hello well i'll see you later i gotta get some coffee no refills frank see you in court well honey orbri are you nervous nervous who me yeah orbri don't worry it'll come out all right it's not only the trial amy that isn't so much i got something else in my mind amy i've just discovered i'm a terrible heal orbri that's right it's an awful blow to me after all these years what are you talking about amy listen remember remember that deal i was going to swing that hundred thousand dollar thing yes it didn't go through oh that's all right i hope joe feels like that joe yeah it was his deal the invention i craved it for him oh all right go ahead give it to me i deserve anything i can get but how did it happen how it was all settled well yes but i went there to talk for joe oh i i thought i could bluff him into it amy and instead of that they bluffed me out i was only trying to do a good turn that's all i guess you can't help it orbria yes it's just the way you're built or something oh honey from now on it's going to be different i'm going to be a brand new healer man you wait and see oh what are you gonna tell joe joe oh you think i ought to tell him you've got to tell him you've got to take your medicine orbri all right i'll face him i'll face him like a man joe i'll say joe my boy i'd rather face my draft board well when the trial is over we'll go up to the house both of us okay amy of course that's just assuming that they'll let you out after the trial orbri piper yes here i am who wants me mister the state of pennsylvania get in here here it is look para it's in the papers already about orbri you would know it was about orbri if they didn't even mention his name oh what's it say mad motorist find one thousand dollars that's him all right i suppose frank had to pay it too orbri piper of 903 lehigh avenue was arraigned today before magistrate mister to answer to the charges of reckless driving injuring a traffic officer and operating an automobile without a license magistrate lister heard a plea of leniency and find the defendant one thousand dollars look look there's his picture orbri's picture a carnation and all i'd like to get my hands on that fool i'd tell him a thing or two disgrace the whole family well here's your chance oh hi claire bell come on in hello amy hello well it's all over the set and done sign on the dotted line greetings mother fisher you're looking very beautiful this afternoon pretty as a gangsters mile yes sir shut up uh what's the matter mother what they do to him amy oh nothing much i'll tell you what they tried to do you keep quiet nobody wants to hear what you've got to say about it at all well i told them down there what i had to say about it whether they wanted to hear it or not i told them plenty and then they find you didn't they uh a little yes they find you a thousand dollars it's all right here in the paper mad motorist find one thousand dollars is that what they called me why i'll sue them let me see that not a bad picture is it oh give me that paper what do you want to do put it in your scrapbook oh mama let's not fight about it we're in trouble enough right now let's forget oh sure forget it is joe here now he ain't well albie wants to see him about something when he comes then we're going home i'll go make a cup of tea nothing for me amy i couldn't eat a thing who asked you to all right mother all right that you pull it's me mom oh come in you've got company who is it oh hello orbry oh hi joe how'd you make out today orbry well i'll tell you they find him he's lucky isn't in the huska right now oh that's too bad joe listen i gotta speak to you about something not now orbry i'm pretty busy yeah but it's very important joe what could you have to say that's important you know who he is don't you joe he's the mad motorist you'll cut it out mother what is it mom right here in the paper look no i never thought i'd live to see a thing like this happen you know there's something else in tonight's paper mom what just cast your eyes on this right here well what is it philadelphia youth makes important chemical discovery mr joseph fisher of north philadelphia perfects rust preventative solution how do you like that joe did they buy that thing from you 100 000 dollars mother they signed for this afternoon in the lawyer's office what joe that's wonderful oh i'll go tell even wait a minute wait a minute what is all this here read it joe i can't believe it let me see that thing they sent for me to come over there this afternoon about two o'clock and they had the contracts all drawn up and everything oh what did you say about a hundred thousand dollars joe that's what they paid for it this afternoon on account then they're to market it for me for that from the laboratories and give me half the net net what's the net whatever's left after all expenses of paying did they give you any of the money joe a hundred thousand dollars sure not in money though oh not in dollar bills no they gave me a check for it well orbri what do you say not bad not bad i guess we put it over a jose what do you mean we yes what do you mean we who cut you in on this now now mother you never know what you know it was a funny thing mom when i first talked to the miller grant people i was only to get fifty thousand dollars advance then they called it all off but today they sent for me and said okay you win a hundred thousand and they're getting away with manslaughter at that keeps till you you don't know anything about this at all i made them think i knew something about it you made who think the miller grant people what are you talking about orbri do you know certainly i know what i'm talking about i went to see those people yesterday and what did you do up there i told them they'd have to doubly advance if they wanted to do business with us and what business was it of yours well i'm joe's relative ain't i who told you you were well he's got to have somebody tend to his business doesn't he mother he's only a lad he doesn't need you to tend to his business for him he tended to his business long before he ever saw you he never landed a hundred thousand dollars though motherly saw me did he well what did you say to them orbri well joe i simply told him i was acting in the capacity of business advisor to you and that if this discovery of yours was as important as you'd led me to believe it was they were simply taking advantage of your youth by offering you fifty thousand dollars for it and that i refuse to allow you to negotiate further unless they double the advance so that their expense and gave us one half the net sign on the dotted line holy smokes i don't believe it well i i certainly have to give you credit orbri that's the way the contract reads i told it to him all right right from the shoulder yes sir i'll have to give you a little present of some kind out of this orbri you'll not give me any present hosay give it to your family they'll eat it more than i will joe joe is it true what claire said sure it is here's the paper oh joe but orbri gets half the credit he swung the deal for double the money orbri oh orbri it's wonderful darling you're wonderful everything's wonderful nothing at all Amy nothing at all uh do you uh do you want some tea orbri a tea yes i might claire and a sandwich i'll fix you something orbri sure anything you want jay orbri well thanks folks can i help Amy no no you just sit down there orbri and rest rest uh thank you oh Amy that newspaper there just hand me the financial page will you heaven help me from now on ladies and gentlemen next sunday is the beginning of boy scout week this year marks the 33rd birthday of scouting in this nation a third of a century of service every boy scout is working for his country now helping to win the war and tonight we join millions of other americans in saluting their great work our sponsors the makers of lux toilet soap join me in inviting you to be with us again next monday night and the lux radio theater presents edward g robinson gale patrick and lad prega in the malty's falcon this is sassel b de mel saying goodnight to you from hollywood the great guilders league appeared tonight through the courtesy of the craft cheese company bulla bondy will soon be seen in the warner brother's picture watch on the rhyme starring betty davis heard in tonight's play were paula winslow as claire jeff courier is joe and eddie marre norman field leo cleary charles kane arthur q bryan ken christy sharon douglas and fred mckay our music was directed by louis silvers here's what betty said hasn't jane got a lot of pep and charm but here's what betty thought that woman gets in my hair what does she get all that energy do you envy others because they have more pep than you maybe your trouble is plain vitamin deficiency thems may help you feel better than you ever thought you could thems have the six vitamin formula doctors endorse three vital minerals also get that thems feeling it's vi for vitamins double ms for minerals them this is the columbia broadcasting system