 That's how we're going to do it. Boy, tell me how you really feel. I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I just want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. I want to feel so aligned, sublime. One time for the state of mind. Two times for elevated rhymes. Know I architected when I lay design. I drown noise out of the clear blue. I sit, twist the threads of said silence. That's an heirloom. I am the shepherd, I share sheep. Still fleece funds from the have-it-alls to the matadors. Who sidestep the bull? Beautifully to that applause. Around rappers, a higher caliber catalog shines. Reminds, I ain't coming to flatter y'all. I spark chatter, dark matter. The sharks scatter on these dark waters. Who walked taller? Who barks orders? Godbody, God and what all the laws taught us. Not appear, it's really near. I pierce deep, I'm revered. My steps remain clear with fierce sweeps. Not a man here who could sense me. I'm on the pier, Elohim with the energy. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. I just want to feel with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I just want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. Yeah, yeah, I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Let me talk to y'all over here, it's a blind. One time for elevated rhymes. Two times for showmanship. Three times for black hands and land ownership revolution. I bring to you where the ring bling to you. Nesey blues on war tunes to sing to you. I am a rebel without a pause. Trust me, I must be Chuck D getting mine off. Many fools been clock-watching my moves and I needed a reappraisal of flavor to the time off. Now, back Jesus, black feet are slumbering, unborn. Off of the coffin and curtain, untorn. I'm a rose that rose to etch prose in Rosetta Stone. Yelling to do a megaphone, always wrapping baby forever home. I ain't the pawn calling the kettle black. I'm the flame keeping the kettle warm and I am the blame for the renaissance. It's cold. Had to write and recite it with down feather zone. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I just want to keep it real with you. Yeah, I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Sublime, sublime. One time for elevated rhymes. Two times for showmanship. Three times for black hands and land ownership revolution. I bring to you where the ring bling to you. Nesey blues on war tunes. Singing to you, I am the rebel without a pause, no applause. Trust me, I am Chuck D, getting mine off. Many fools, they clock watching my moves and I needed to re-appraise it with flavor. Took some time off now. Back Jesus, black feet of slumber and unborn. All could have covered the curtain unto it. I'm the rose that rose to etch prose in Rosetta Stone. Still yelling to do a megaphone, always wrapping baby forever home. I ain't the pawn calling the kettle black. I am the flame keeping the kettle warm. I'm the blame for the renaissance. It's cold. I write and recite it with down feathers on. I love you and write and recite it with down feathers on. That mean that shit cold. And I'm the coldest. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Y'all give a round of applause to this band right now. When they tell me they want to feel the cause a little more, then we got to do that shit again. I wasn't in the rehearsal. We didn't do that. That was not a part of the set list. Roger was just in my ear like, yo, let's do it again. So we're going to do it again. So we did it again. This next record, we're going to get into it since we have a message to my black boys. Tell me how y'all really feel. I know y'all going through it. We going through it. Black women tell me how you really feel. I know y'all going through it. Y'all been going through it. So we're going to keep that going. We're going to talk to y'all directly. Because I love y'all. I love y'all deeply. And I love y'all forever. And I'm unapologetic about that love. You'll be like, yo, well, you know, I'll be like, yo, we're going to do this right now for the black women. We're going to do it for all women. I'm like, no, that ain't what I said. I said, we're going to do this for the sisters. But what about all of us? You'll be like, no, I said, we're going to, you know. They say a rising tide lifts all boats. But see, that's the thing about that is a rising tide lifts all boats. But some people swim in treading water. You know what I'm saying? You can't not acknowledge that. You can't acknowledge what the history and what the present, the chain that connects it all. So we're going to keep going into that. We're going to bring Shanique with me. Cans back out here. We're going to bring a wonderful guitarist. All right, all right. What's up, family? Somebody drop a thumbs up in the chat if you can hear me. I always got to do a sound check just in case YouTube or StreamYard is not on my side today. I know it's been a while. Hope you guys are well. Hope you guys have had a good weekend. Come on in, come on in. Know I see you. What's going on, brother? All right, perfect, perfect. So to give, I guess, slight background as to why I haven't been doing live streams two things. I would say number one time. Typically the nighttime is the best time for me to do live streams as far as like what works best with my schedule. But a lot of these live streams would run over and some of the support that I was getting from the live streams didn't, I guess, didn't support pun intended the amount of time and energy that these took. So I decided I'm just gonna do them periodically, you know, and also remaining with a members only chat because like I say, the people who put their money where the support is are going to be my priority. And not to say that if you don't financially support the ministry that you're not valuable, but I have to start making, I gotta, I guess I gotta do like a first class seating to keep this thing sustainable. So yeah, so the title or the topic for tonight, okay, it didn't remove that. The topic for tonight is Tinder Tinder Select. So if you guys don't know, Tinder has decided to, hold on, let me see, how do I get this off the screen? Tinder has decided to remove, or not remove, I'm sorry, add an extra tier, a $500 a month membership for tricks and sugar daddies. And this tier allows you to bypass the traditional process of matching with the girl, but now you're able to directly message anybody on the app. So it's a great opportunity for guys with money, but no Riz to compete, right? And I've talked about this during some of my case studies. Sometimes guys with money, but no Riz will pay men with Riz, but no money to help them source women. And now in the digital age, we can cut out the middle man. So we're gonna be talking about that, but before that, let me play this brief video. Ever and watch this video. Tinder just made an insane business decision. This is the most important part about Tinder Select. It costs $499 a month. This is a brilliant move by Tinder. They know there is a demographic of rich men who will pay for this because spoiler alert, not all rich men are good with women. And as a result, a $500 tier to essentially facilitate sugar baby situations is something that will for sure have a demographic and will likely make Tinder a boatload of money in the process. Think about it, that Tinder Select badge does nothing for the average guy looking for love, but for the guy who wants to pay for sex, it allows him to reach out to the women he wants to without them matching with him first. And it shows the women that he actually has money to spend because A, he's paying $500 a month and B, he's been vetted by Tinder. So when a company as big as Tinder makes a big move like this, don't just automatically write it off because moves like this are a good signal for someone like you who's looking to make money online because it shows you where these billion dollar companies are investing money in order to fill gaps in the market. Do me a favor and watch this video. Tinder just made an insane business decision. This is the most important part about Tinder Select. It costs $499 a month. This is a brilliant move by Tinder. They know there is a demographic of rich men who will pay for this because spoiler alert, not all rich men are good with women. And as a result, a $500 tier to essentially facilitate sugar baby situations is something that will for sure have a demographic and will likely make Tinder a boatload of money in the process. Think about it, that Tinder Select badge does nothing for the average guy looking for love, but for the guy who wants to pay for sex, it allows him to reach out to the women he wants to without them matching with him first. And it shows the women that he actually has money to spend because A, he's paying $500 a month and B, he's been vetted by Tinder. So when a company as big as Tinder makes a big move like this, don't just automatically write it off because moves like this are a good signal for someone like you who's looking to make money online because it shows you where these billion dollar companies are investing money in order to fill gaps in the market. Do me a favor. I'll mute myself. All right, so the reason why I chose this as a topic is very simple. So if you've been watching my case studies, one of the things that I talk about very often is the fact that it's impossible for us to make some of these changes and see some of the progress that we wanna see. Excuse me. With our women, modern women, Western women, if we continue to incentivize their behavior and also if we continue to dismiss the men who incentivize their behavior because unfortunately it's not just about what women are doing or what women aren't doing, it's about the ways that we accommodate those things. So we have to talk about simps. We have to talk about sugar daddies. We have to talk about men who because they don't have the ability to communicate effectively, especially with women, they think the best thing to do is buy women, right? And I feel several ways about this. I think number one, what's very seldom discussed, a lot of us as men have been socialized to see women as a commodity, right? Something to be bought, sold, and traded. And in a way, it causes us to dehumanize women, right? Women are just either a yardstick for us to measure our progress as men, whether we're knocking down women, racking our bodies, whether we are trying to show our friends how much risk we have, whether we are just accumulating women for their energy, for their, I guess, their entertainment, for their company, but we don't see them as people, right? We see them through the lens of how they serve us. And I think this is important, right? Because very often we only frame this conversation through the lens of gold diggers, right? Women who they're looking to trade their time, energy, and effort for financial means. And then we shame them and we talk about the women who end up in Dubai doing some strange for a whole lot of change, right? But I think we have to also focus on the ways that men have created this perverse incentive for women to be the way that they are, right? Like when I was in school studying business, I took a class called Legal Environment of Business. And in this class, the professor basically made it his mission to explain to us why lawyers and business people don't get along, right? And as somebody who he had passed the bar in the whole nine, he kind of focused on lawyers. And he was saying that one of the things that makes lawyers the way that they are is that for however many years they're in school, the majority of their coursework is fixated on studying and reading up on the worst aspects of human nature, right? All the cases that happened, how so-and-so screwed, so-and-so over, how so-and-so was guilty, but they still won the case and how they did it. So after years and years of doing that, you come out as a very, at the very least cynical person. If it gets bad, you might become nihilistic. But also I think it's part of the reason why the legal field attracts so many sociopaths and psychopaths. When you study those antisocial personality disorders, in addition to the legal field, you also see people like that in politics, you also see people like that become C-suite executives. But I say all that to say, as a woman, if you're somebody who works in nightlife, if you're somebody who works as a stripper, works as a sex worker, similarly, you will gain a very skewed and very cynical view of men. And your understanding of men, excuse me, is that they see you as a commodity. So I might as well be the best commodity I can be. I might as well charge as much as I can for this value that I have, whether that value be my time, or whether that value be my vagina. And when you combine that with some of the trauma that a lot of our women have experienced, it's kind of like a vicious, very insidious cycle of confirmation bias. She, something happened to her when she was a kid. She wasn't adequately educated either because of the neighborhood she grew up in or because of the foster home or foster care system or the terrible parents that she had. And she's thrown out into the world with no skills and no education. And she has to rely on sex work to make a living. And that sex work puts her in front of men who commodify the hell out of her and excuse her view of who men are and what men can be. And she raises a daughter with that same skewed, cynical view or she becomes an entertainer and disseminates that skewed, cynical view of men. And it works hand in hand with what white supremacy is also set out to do. So I only bring that up to say that sometimes I think we're guilty of oversimplifying the problem and simply fixating on one of the victims of the problem, these only fans models. Yes, they are perpetrators but they're also victims in a way because if it wasn't for our perverse demand for their bullshit, they wouldn't be able to sustain their bullshit. So in as much as we can shame and we can talk about how these girls are selling their body and selling their pictures for money, we can't continue to just overlook the people who are buying it, right? And it's not always in sales. I think sometimes we're too dismissive. It's not always in sales. Sometimes it's regular, degular dudes but because at the back of their mind subconsciously they view women as objects, they don't think about the ripple effects of this demand. They don't think about the ripple effects of this, even this tender select membership. And I think we need to talk about it. So I want to bring y'all on just cause it's been a while since we banter back and forth. Please consider supporting the channel. The cash app is on the screen. And also I wanna try something. I want to at the end, I wanna take this to Patreon because I want to talk about women's yellow flags and to kind of give a synopsis for the direction that I'm going. So a lot of times we talk about red flags and things not to look for. Now there are a whole bunch of lists circulating about places women won't let you take them, right? But I wanna kind of boil down some of the yellow flags, some of the cautionary signs to look for with women. And the distinction that I like to make personally is a red flag is something that tells you to stop, turn around, don't pass, go, don't collect $200 aka pussy, do not move forward. Whereas the yellow flag is telling you, hey, you might be able to proceed but proceed with caution, right? These are things that it may or may not be a sign of danger. And to be fair, ladies who are watching this, y'all might not like some of this, which is why I'm taking it over to Patreon. But I'll also say if we are able to run up the cash at, let's set a goal of $500 since that's the Tinder Select, I will keep this on this stream. But yeah, in the meantime, let's talk about this Tinder Select and then if we don't hit our Cash App goal, we'll mosey on over to the Patreon. So please consider signing up for Patreon. That is the best way to support this channel. I've been kind of discouraging people away from Superchats because YouTube takes a cut. But if you want all the support, the financial support to go directly to the channel, Cash App PayPal is the best way to do it. And all those links are on the About page of the channel. Also, if I forget, I dropped the video, I dropped the video about an hour ago about Kendra G. I guess long story short, O'Shea dropped the video about how Kendra G was looking for this particular viral Ugandan model and kind of how that played out. The model is a male model and how that played out. So as an African, as a man, there were some things, some red flags that I wanted to kind of highlight because like I say all the time, nobody cares about men's grievances as it pertains to the fallout of their relationships with women. So the best thing that we can do is be proactive in our assessment of who we choose to involve ourselves with and who we choose to expose ourselves to. So yeah, before all that, obviously the video is there so you can watch it after the stream. If we hit a $500 goal on Cash App, we will keep my list because it's a long one. In my explanations, we'll keep it on this stream, but if not, we will transition to Patreon. Hopefully the transition is smooth because I haven't done it before, but yeah. So yeah, the link is in the chat if you wanna call in. If you wanna talk about this, if you have questions about other stuff, please don't hesitate to click that link and pull up. Also like I said, if you want the ability to comment, just hit the join button to become a channel member. These live streams, anybody can watch them, but you have to be a channel member to actively participate. So I'm gonna give it a second, but yeah, y'all pull up. All right, y'all come at once. So so far we have gotten $70 of the $500 goal. Shout out to Terrence. He says, for Salute Bro, could you give my channel a sub push? Add your channel to the chat and yeah, I'll shout it out. Actually, I'll check it out first and then I'll endorse it if it's something worth endorsing. Jacob Davis, shout out to you brother with the $50 cash shop. My sound effects aren't working today, so y'all please bear with me. Yeah, if y'all don't wanna pull up, if you have questions in the chat, you can throw those at me. But in the meantime, let me play this video from Instagram, kinda detailing one of the effects of our prevalent simp culture. And like I say, incentivizes the behavior that we claim to not want from our women. After and I capitalize off of men, you guys are my biggest fans, even if you're haters. I made over $400,000 last year and it is all because of you. So you guys wanna keep clowning on sex work, keep it up because if you guys just came together as a whole, as men, we wouldn't be in business. We are profiting off of you. Thank you. Keep subscribing to our OnlyFans, keep talking shit about sex workers because we are making so much more money and I'm about to be out fucking a million this year, so keep it up. I make more than a doctor and I capitalize off of men. You guys are my biggest fans, even if you're haters. I made over $400,000 last year and it is all because of you. So you guys wanna keep clowning on sex work, keep it up because if you guys just came together as a whole, as men, we wouldn't be in business. We are profiting off of you. Thank you. Keep subscribing to our OnlyFans, keep talking shit about sex workers because we are making so much more money and I'm about to be out fucking a million this year, so keep it up. I make more. Like I said, the link is pinned at the top of the chat. We're not doing a four-hour stream today, so if y'all are gonna pull up, please pull up. Okay, I see Elsie. Elsie, you cammin' up or you goin' cam off? Let me know in the private chat. But yeah, no, she is absolutely right. And like I said, I think in as much as we spend so much time, especially in some of these spaces, talking about leveling up as men, we often do not talk about the fact that the men that sometimes are the most likely to be cheated on are rich men. I saw an interview a while back of Jason Love. Jason Love is a porn star. He fits the Mandingo archetype. And he told a story about how he found out his daughter wasn't his. And this is well into the daughter's childhood. So I say all that to say, often some of these mannispheres spaces, these alpha male spaces, we talk and we simplify these things to if you are six foot tall and if you have a big dick and if you make a whole bunch of money and if you have a large and powerful network that you are less likely to be the victim of female infidelity. The truth is a whole lot more complicated. And part of why it's complicated is because we incentivize a certain archetype of women who are more likely to lack the integrity to honor their vows, right? We also are the number one consumers of women's sexual imagery and also access to women's vaginas. And just like I said in the case studies, that's why when I see some of these stories, whether we're talking about Will Smith, whether we're talking about the oyster girl who ate a whole bunch of oysters and her date bounce or whether we're talking about the cheesecake factory dude, whether or not that was real or whether we're talking about Joe Smith and his wife. A part of me as a human being and as a black man feels an inkling of sympathy for these dudes, but the other part of me is like, yo, you chose her. What about the girl? What about this lady told you that she's worth taking on a date? What about this lady told you that she's worth your time, energy and effort or were you just thinking what you did? Were you just thinking with that primitive need that we have as men to conquer women and rack up another notch on our belt just to say we did? Because we're the ones giving them this audacity. There's another dude who's gonna take her on another date, you know? There's another dude who because like the cheesecake lady, she knows how to wear a pushup bra, he's gonna excuse the fact that she doesn't know how to carry herself. The pun was very intended, I hope y'all didn't miss that. And these things continue to happen. But anyway, so I don't get on a soapbox. I also want to touch on the Tyree situation. That's probably how I close out this stream if we don't hit our goal before we transition over to Patreon for my list. I'ma call it the yellow flag list. But yeah, let me bring some people up and let's have some conversation. We'll talk about Tyrese and then we'll transition to the yellow flag list. A shout out to Chicago Rilla, my brother. Thank you so much for pulling up, man. Please, please, please click that link, brother. Let's talk about some of these things, man. We spend so much time talking about women and everything that they're doing wrong, but we don't address ourselves and how we enable and we incentivize and how we finance some of these behaviors. And like I said, in one of the case studies, like very often we'll talk about some of these raunchy female artists, like Lil' Ken back in the day or Meg Dostallion now or Ice Spice or even Beyonce. We'll get to why Beyonce is problematic. And we'll talk about it from the standpoint of women are the ones patronizing these women. Women are the largest consumers and they're the ones supporting sexy red. They're the ones supporting these artists. The truth is a lot more complicated than that because before these people are even on a world stage or even with the millions of followers on YouTube or Instagram or TikTok, they are first platformed. Whether that is a black male producer, whether that is a black male DJ, a black male A&R, you know, the Diddy's, the Dr. Dre's, they're first platformed and they're platformed obviously because those people see that their style or their image is lucrative right now. And instead of prioritizing our initial duty as men to gatekeep for our community, that's part of our protection provision mandate, we prioritize profit. And then when these women blow up, we wanna put the blame squarely on the consumers. Now the producers have some of the blame as well. And in sexy red's case, more specifically, she herself said that according to her analytics, which she mispronounced, the majority of her fans are black men. I can't tell you how many videos I've seen on TikTok or Instagram of, you know, Gen Z boys or even millennial boys talking about ski. They think that shit is funny. They think that shit is sweet. They think that shit is cool. And actually I've seen more women speak out about the bullshit. I've seen women speak out about her lip gloss line and about her raunchy lyrics and about her overt hyper-sexualization. But the men, oh, it's just a joke. Or it's a lick, it's an opportunity. I say all that to say, we have to tell the full story. All right, let me bring up Elsie first and yeah, we'll go from there. Hey, Elsie, can you hear me? Yes, sir, can you hear me? How are you? Oh, that's a worded question. Long time no see, how have you been? Whatever you're comfortable sharing, you can. I am alive, I would just keep it there. Okay, okay. What has your social media hiatus kind of taught you about yourself or your life or people? Like, where are you now mentally, just after that decision? Still trying to rebuild mentally. I think I resonated a lot with what Courtney Michelle had said when she took her hiatus. So yeah, I mean, I think I told you offline a few times that I think it's time to just log off for some time, but right before I did, I was in a pretty dark space and I'm trying to climb out of it, basically. Do you mind us talking through it? Not on this platform. Okay, no, just the, I guess the surface level of, because what Courtney talked about was the constant that women ain't shit, you know, you're gonna die alone, all that type of rhetoric, being the reason why she had to take a hiatus. Is that similar for you? It is, and I know, I think Courtney just turned 40. I will be 40 in April. So, and I know she has a child. I think she just got married, maybe. I'm not sure because I'm still off IG. But it's been triggering to a lot of things that I've been seeing, especially after, I don't know her name, but she made some sort of post about being in her 40s and how she's dating now. And I'll be honest, some of the critiques that you had didn't sit well with me. Just because it kind of felt like because we're at a certain age, we're not allowed to say what we want and what we won't allow. And I'm not sure what kind of decisions she made to cause her to be at the space that she's in, where she was, where she's still dating in her 40s. But I was married. I went through a divorce. I thought I chose right on paper. He looked like someone that would be a good father, a good grandfather. Aesthetically, he wasn't my type. But I looked beyond at thinking I was looking at the person's heart, but that didn't serve me well. So it just feels like it's damn when you do and it's damn when you don't. And then the critique you had with, I don't remember which twin it was, if it's Tia or Tamara. Now, the way she kind of talked about her, divorce or marriage being like a graduation I didn't agree with. But I'm in the same camp of, I don't feel courted or taken seriously because I'm older. And it's like I'm automatically disqualified because I'm an older woman. And it speaks to a lot of what you just said about women are looked at as objects. So it was just a constant you're below value because whatever, insert message here. And on top of having to go through unemployment and struggling with looking for a job and finding one, I had some mold issues in my apartment. So a lot of things were happening at the same time. So yeah, I'm the oldest. I don't have anyone to support me. My dad's one year anniversary of death is coming up in a few days. So yeah. Yeah. No, like you said, we'll have the bulk of the conversation offline. But what I will say is, I think that's what gets lost sometimes is the uniqueness of people's individual circumstances. And I think for the sake of argument or for the sake of, I guess, pioneering a macro change, sometimes we generalize, I know I'm guilty of it, right? We lump all women over a certain age into a basket or we lump all men into a certain basket. And it's not, even though I think it's important for macro conversations, I think it's also important to have some of those sideline conversations of, okay, how do I deviate from the norm? How do I deviate from, you know, you brought up Crystal? Her approach and her, I guess, maybe egotistical sense of herself as it relates to how things are playing out for her versus me. So, but yeah, yeah, we'll talk offline, but Tinder Select, to come back to a lie-hearted thing, what are your immediate thoughts? Well, I don't even know what it is. So, first question is, what is it? So, I played a little clip at the beginning. It's basically an elite level membership for Tinder. And people think that it was created specifically to facilitate primarily sugar daddy, sugar baby relationships. Number one, it's a $500 a month tier. Anybody who's paying $500 a month for a dating app, they got money, they got bread, right? And what it allows you to do is, it allows you to bypass the Tinder process of we have to match before we can communicate. You can go directly to communicate. And it's kind of like Instagram verification. Like you're kind of vetted in a way and you can get straight to, so if there's an IG model that you see on there, you could already, hey, what you want to do today? I got five, I don't know, $5,000 for you to do whatever you want today. And you can facilitate those type of relationships. But how do you think that once it launches, it's gonna play out for the dating market or men's view of women or women's view of men? I'll be honest, I don't think it's going to change your dating market because I think if anything, it's just gonna help illuminate who's looking for what and who's willing to do what for whom. So I think it's more of a filtration system. When I was on the dating app, I had a few messages that caused me a lot of pause and it made me question, okay, none of these pictures. Is any indicator of that type of encounter? So why am I getting these messages? So I think it's just a filtration system at this point. Yeah, no, I think, you know, I'm coming from Nigeria where because of the economic system there, and when I say economic system, not just how terrible it is and corrupted it is, but also the fact that if you're born on a certain level, it's next to impossible to move up. In the United States, you can be born poor and die rich. In other places, it's incredibly difficult unless you know somebody or if you're willing to go to depths, whether literally or figuratively, that other people won't. And one of the things that's kind of common knowledge is like we call them runs guess, right? And basically runs girl is a girl who's kind of down for whatever based on, you know, your finances, right? So if you are able to pay one of her bills or if you're able to, you know, give her some money afterwards, she'll do what you want. So it's almost like a, it's soft core prostitution in a way, which is an oxymoron because it's prostitution, but it's becoming normalized. And similarly in the United States, what we're seeing, I think especially as a part of this whole soft life movement, we're seeing some of that soft core prostitution, you know, can you pay my bills? If he's not taking me to a restaurant that costs X amount of dollars, if he's not paying for my kid's food, if he's not financing me in some type of way, he's not gonna have access to my heart, my attention or my vagina. And we're kind of seeing that, especially as the economy worsens, we're kind of seeing that takeover, not just for women who need the money, also for women who don't. That's the crazy thing. So I say that to say, ultimately, this only works if we as men continue to play that game. If we continue to finance, and if we continue to kowtow to these financial demands, and it seems like most men, since the majority of us might not have the skill or the finesse to talk our way into it, we're just gonna pay the cost. Where do you think this is gonna go? Like, where do you think this is gonna lead in, I don't know, the next 10, 20, 30 years? I'm not sure if I heard this analogy from you or someone else, but I think the pendulum swing is not gonna come to a halt. I think it's still gonna keep swinging. Like, I think the relationship rate or lack of relationship rate is going to increase. I think the loneliness rate is going to increase. The want or need for marriage is going to decrease. So if, but that could also be for select few perhaps, because like you said, you have to have some kind of money to be able to pay $500 a month for this membership. So maybe just the elite top tier men who are able to afford it, they're just gonna continue being alone and I guess they want to. So it could be either the loneliness rate, marriage rate, all that is not going to change, but get worse or we're just going to continue this shit show, I guess you could say. Yeah, yeah, I feel multiple ways about it. I was watching a interview with James Sexton. He's a divorce attorney. And basically he was saying that he thinks that we're actually about to go the complete opposite way. All right, like we're gonna go from absolute freedom, anything is everything and I'm a different sexuality, a different day of the week and my body, my choice and all that good stuff too, maybe handmade stale. Like it's gonna go from here and it's gonna swing all the way to the other extreme. And especially as it correlates with the economy worsening about the insecurity of the world, about our hyper-awareness of everything that's going on, back in the day one of the things that one of the benefits I think grandma and grandpa had is they didn't have to be super aware of everything happening all the time. Like unless it was World War or an atomic bomb potentially dropping like they didn't see the mass shooting that just happened in Vegas or the elementary school. Like it was just if you were there or in that city you got some of the local news but now we're so hyper aware of everything. And I think that's part of the reason why we're also so anxious. But I think there might be that overcorrection the other way where women are back to wearing skirts all the way down to their ankles. I know some of the dudes in the mannisfil would like that to happen. Men are back to being valued simply for their economic contribution, not just their ability to have style or finesse or res or some of the other things that are being rewarded now. But yeah, I do think it's gonna take some time. I think this took a while for us to get here. And unfortunately I think it's gonna take a while for us to get out of here. And I'm just hoping that we don't lose faith in things getting better. We just throw our hands up and say, fuck it. And Freeman's Journal's question is good. So what happens to the male-female relationship dynamic when marriage and children are off the table? What are your thoughts? I think it depends on the individual. Cause I've had conversations where some men don't seem to look down on women like other men do. But there are other men who just do see women as a cum receptacle to have kids for them. So I really just, I think, honestly, I think it depends on the individual. Maybe also depends on the culture, depends on what you're getting exposed to. Because I seem to be in the minority when I talk to someone about, no, I don't care about how much you bring into the household annually. If you are a shitty person, I'm sorry, are we allowed to use profanity today? It's me, it's me, do your thing. Okay. Get it off your chest, make your mind. Because one of the things this man told me was, Elsie, at some point you're just gonna have to find someone, make a deal with them, see if your deal with them is something that they're okay with and vice versa and go with it. And I said, was there humanity in that? Like, whatever happened to get into another person's heart and being attracted to them? Because I mean, I know a little bit about men, not a whole lot, but I know a little bit that when it comes to sexual desire, you want me to want you. You want me to be enthusiastic. You want me to initiate. So if I don't like you as a person and don't find you attractive, why am I making a deal with you that's not gonna be sustainable? So there are some conversations that happen that way and then there are other conversations that seem like the complete opposite of, well, you should build with a man. And it's like, okay, I'm gonna be 40. Are we talking about a 20 year old man or a 40, 45 year old man that you want me to build with? Like where's the middle ground where I'm coming in to help, but I'm coming in with my ideas to build you up, I'm not that kind of helpmate. So I think, again, it depends on the mindset of the individual and that's kind of what frustrates me a lot about this, I don't know how to put it, but the complaining that men are having about women and how they devalue men they're only, men are only looked at as financial tools and just tools in general. What frustrates me is, yeah, I hear you. What are the solutions to get away from that? Because all I'm hearing right now is what women are doing, what they're not doing versus what we should do as a collective and leading by example. So that's kind of where my frustration has been I keep hearing the same things over and over, regurgitated in different ways. I don't seem to see a solution. So if we're talking about men being the leaders of the community, lead. Yeah, yeah, it's complicated, right? I think for me, I think the main mistake we make on the male side and also on the female side is I think we over romanticize back in the day. Just like you brought up, you said men want to feel desired, men want their woman to be enthusiastic about having sex with them for instance. Back in the day, men weren't as aware of those things. Back in the day, men's role, and when I say back in the day, I'm including even back in Africa and even till this day in some sense, men's role was to provide and protect, right? Since then, we've also asked men to provide and protect and spend time with us, provide and protect and be romantic, provide and protect and prioritize love. Those were things that men back in the day didn't have to do. Similarly, women back in the day didn't have to think about or consider a lot of the things women today have to think about and consider. And I think this is the first time where we get the opportunity to compare and contrast as to what works, but often I'll hear men over romanticize grandmas if she was a saint, as if she wasn't fucking the milkman, or over romanticize grandpas if he wasn't beating grandma or he wasn't emotionally checked out or he wasn't mentally not present because of his line of work, whatever the case may be. And I think what's important to me is that we don't lose sight of the opportunity we have to redefine paradigms that actually work and that are sustainable. Because I think simply just trying to revert back to 1940s or 1930s paradigms of men or women and try to implement that in 2023, 2024, 2030, I think it's not gonna work. I think it's gonna fail. Even one of the last case studies that I did, I was talking about how some of the, the 50-50 thing, it was the 50-50 versus the traditional man. And a lot of the comments that I got, rightfully so, and I try to do justice to it in the conversation, but I kind of focus on the 50-50 archetype guy. But a lot of the men were saying that, yeah, one income isn't enough and that's true. You can't buy a house these days with one income unless you're just like a lawyer or a doctor or some 1%, 5% dude. So the dynamic where grandpa was the clear cut ruler or the book stopped with him, it's a bit more complex now. Grandpa isn't the most educated anymore. Sometimes nowadays, the woman is probably more educated than you, now she also has more debt. So we have to talk about that as well. But those dynamics, the whole point I'm making, those dynamics can't work. And simply just trying to copy and paste back in the day to now, I think is the wrong way to go. I think we can learn from both and try to implement something that will sustain the relationships that we want these days. But unfortunately, we spend so much time just demonizing this growing process or the growing pains of this and idealizing back in the day as if that's what we want. Women don't want men from the 1960s. Just like men really don't want women from the 1930s if they're being honest. But I think we don't think that through all the time. So I would venture to say that although maybe it wasn't verbalized back then, I think men knew they wanted more than a robot or a step for a wife at home, why else would they have side tricks that would fulfill those desires and fantasies? So I think they knew that they wanted more than just being able to have sex versus maybe making love with enthusiasm that their wife may not be able to because she's at home all day with the kids and really doesn't want to. Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I'm not saying you're wrong, full stop. I'm just saying that the primary reason why a man for instance would want a side chick is less about whatever his wife is not doing and it's actually more about men's desire for sexual variety. It's not something we're proud of but it's a reality for us. And often I think from the female perspective, it's framed as what is she doing that I'm not or what does she have that I don't or how is she better than me? And very often whether the man is even conscious enough to verbalize this, very often it's not that she's better, it's that she's different. And because in my opinion, our biology and then it's doubled down with how we're socialized to want variety, it's the, I think number one is the ego stroke of another woman who wants me inside of her. I think number two, it's the ease or the lightness of less responsibility and less weight associated with her. And when I say less responsibility and less weight, I mean like coming home to your wife, that's somebody you have to take care of, that's somebody you have to provide for in the whole night, going to your side chick, she might not need any of that or as much of that. So there's an ease associated with that relationship that you for all intents and purposes cannot enjoy with your wife. And also the weight was a double entendre, it's not just the weight of pressure, but it's also over time as your wife ages, as she has children and things like that, not only does she become more familiar to you and familiarity and sexual desire aren't necessarily pals from a male point of view, not only that, but also the different ways that her body is changing. Whereas if you get a younger, different woman, it just feels lighter. So I hate when it's often framed as, oh, he must want somebody else because I'm not enough. And I don't think that's the truth. I see. And that's the thing, this is what I would say. I think that if women knew who we were as men at our core, you're either gonna love us or hate us. Because if men, and this is why I made that statement during the table that men love more authentically than women is primarily for the fact that we are not enthusiastic about love. Left to our devices, we would just be getting money and fucking bitches unless we get to a point where we want legacy and we want to be more grounded or whatever the case may be. But a young guy who's got some money and the world is at his feet, he doesn't want something to tether him, he doesn't want an anchor. And in some ways, being anchored is good, right? Because it grounds you in the whole nine. But men, we fight for, we die for freedom until we find something worse, I mean, something better to fight for and die for. So unfortunately, yeah, we would want multiple women, right, if it wasn't for some of the risks and some of the potential responsibilities that come along with that, that's what we would want. So when we see where the grandpa, otherwise, it wasn't that grandma wasn't good enough, whatever the case may be, it's just that, maybe it's a demon in us that still wants. See, Dr. Thunder said, bro, you gotta stop telling our secrets. Listen, they gotta know, because I think that's what eats y'all up on the inside. He thinks she's better or he thinks I'm not good enough. It's like, no, like a low sperm count, scientifically is like 300 million. Like we are built to spread our seed and the whole nine prosper, right? So men's wiring, men's hard wiring is to one variety. It's to not just impregnate you, but also her, her and her. And our discipline and our maturity as men is getting to the point where we prioritize the cost of acting on that impulse versus the benefit. But that desire is still baked in, just like y'all's desire for romance and to be the love interest in your own movie. Our desire is to be Hugh Hefner. And I think it's important to understand that, so we can frame some of these complexities of our relationships a bit better rather than just thinking, oh, I'm not enough as a woman or the fact that he wants something else means that I'm not giving it to him, because I think that's what it is for y'all. Because again, y'all's reproduction process, which informs a lot of our behaviors, is based on exclusivity. Because you do not have as many eggs as I have sperm, right? So you have a biological incentive to be selective. You have a biological incentive to not just pick out the best possible guy, but stick with him, right? Because the longer you stick with him, the more reason he has to potentially risk his life to protect you. It works very differently for us. And I think if we can get better as men at acknowledging and empathizing with some of you guys is, like I said, demons, and you guys could also get better at recognizing some of our demons, which causes us to do shit like paying $500 a month to get pussy. And a lot of those guys are probably married. And a lot of those guys probably love their wives, right? So for the side chicks who think, oh, he's gonna leave his wife for you, he's not, he's gonna fuck you, but he's gonna go home to his wife. I think if we can better frame these nuances, I think we can have better relationships. I think maybe that's what grandma and grandpa might have done a bit better than us. Not necessarily behave better, but maybe had more space for the men are men and women are women piece. Maybe, but grandma was also miserable and crying every night. Tell me why you think that, let's talk about it. Why do I think what why grandma cried every night? I think, and this is also from experience, I think part of it is why some aunties and grandmas tell younger women, hey, you young lady, make sure you find a man that loves you more than you love him. So he will likely not cheat on you and have a family down the street. So although they might've made it work, but she wasn't happy. And now she's telling younger women to look for someone that is not that desirable to her, that he will feel like he's the luckiest man in the world by doing with her, because that way, that will guarantee, even though it's not a guarantee, that will guarantee that he won't leave you, that he won't cheat on you. He won't mess around on you. I think one of the mistakes we make, and I'm not even saying this is women's fault. I'm saying that men have to do a better job. A lot of times we center women's stories. There's an African proverb that I like. It says, until the lion becomes a historian, the hunter will always be the hero. And I think white people use that to be fair. Like white people have been able to frame themselves as the world's savior, history's savior, humanity's savior. But similarly, I think because a lot of women are tasked with rearing the children, women are socialized to seek community. So a lot of women's stories and women's grievances get priority in a way that men's doesn't. And men don't typically even feel comfortable talking to other men because we think that our vulnerability might jeopardize our position in the pecking order. I can't talk to my homeboy that I think my girl might not like having sex with me anymore because then he might look at me like less of a man. Oh damn, your bitch don't love you no more. So a lot of men hold that in. And I think grandpa was doing that. I think great grandpa was doing that. While simultaneously grandma was telling his daughters and subsequently his granddaughters all the things and all the struggles that she had with him. So then you fast forward to 2023. It seems as though only the grandmas were miserable without considering if grandpa was happy, without considering all the ways that grandma was a burden to grandpa. So I say that to say that sometimes we have to be careful with some of these kind of agreed upon paradigms that we like to regurgitate. And because of movies like Color Purple because of Waiting to Exhale, because of every Tyler Perry flick and how this message is just constantly beat down our necks. And also there's a demand for this message. Even when I was talking to Courtney Michelle, one of the things she said was that after a breakup she likes to feel sad. She enjoys the process. So she seeks out those sad Mary J. Blight songs. I saw a slew of women complaining after Adele lost weight because they thought she wouldn't be able to sing from the same pain. So there's also a demand for women's grievances. And I think it's part of the reason why we're so dismissive to men's stories. Even the clip from the Black Marriage Masterclass episode where the brother was talking about how his stepdad took his mom and himself and his brother in and his mom fucked them over with child support for their kid. And even though he was a great dude, I still saw some of the comments saying that I don't believe this. He's lying. Some of these facts and figures don't actually add up. The reflex was to question the legitimacy of his story and his grievance, even though it was coming directly from the horse's mouth. A similar story being told by a woman who does not receive that same skepticism, especially not from other women. But this was coming from men and women. So like I said, I think we have to be careful simply just going or running with these. Grandma was miserable. Grandpa had a family down the street narrative because even though that's true, there are also stories of grandpa went to Vietnam to fight for the country 11 months ago. And when he came back, he had a son. There are also stories of grandma left in the middle of the night to go to Birmingham and start a new family. And not because grandpa was abusive, whatever the case may be, she was just a runner. She was a track star. But again, we as men don't do a good enough job telling our stories. And there's not enough of a demand for it. So it's skewed. I think it's top heavy in a way in women's favor. I mean, and I agree with that. Excuse me. I agree with that. And that's why I said, personal example, I wasn't just going off of the popular excuse. I was simply explaining that grandma was crying because of what I've witnessed in my village when things were happening. Like I have, my mom had several half aunt sisters. I had a lot of half aunties. So that is something that I had experienced on my family experience. But I also will say this, because a lot of men aren't socialized to speak or talk freely without any kind of like, oh, you gotta be a man and keep that to yourself kind of thing, when they do try to talk, it seems like they pick the wrong time. For example, my dad, we had just completed my mom's last burial right, burial right on her birthday. And that's when he decided to call my sister and I to tell us about how much of a bad wife she was to him. And like, okay, pause. Is this really the time you're gonna be telling us about how badly she treated you? Like you couldn't have picked a different time. We are still having people come over to our mom's house to pay their respects. And you're talking to us about how terrible she was. So it was one of those things where I told him, I don't wanna hear this today. I don't like, why are you talking to me about this right now? Like I was a caretaker for my mom and now you're trying to basically tell me that she was a terrible person, wrong timing. So I don't know when that's going to change. I do know that the same way they tell us women in relationships to be able to ascertain when the best time to talk to your partner about certain issues, I think the same goes for men when it comes to talking to either their children or their friends about certain issues because I don't believe that was the right time to be telling me about how bad my mom was to him. No, listen, you are a thousand percent right. I think two things. I think number one, I think some women underestimate how behind the eight ball we are as men on the emotional communication front. Like it's, we're not in practice with that. That is not something. And I'm saying this as a guy who is a relatively good communicator. Emotional interpersonal communication is not my strong suit. So I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be if I was a less effective communicator. So I think there's a bit of grace there. But also what I would say is I think women sell themselves short a bit. And what I mean by that is just like I talked about the biological foundation of mate selection, the females of any species get to select what traits live and what traits die. And that goes from we want tall men. So only tall men will get to reproduce. The next generation and subsequent generations are steadily, gradually going to get taller. That's what we've seen happen during history. We want muscular men. We want intelligent men. The females of the species will select for those traits and reward those traits with progeny. Like those traits get to be duplicated for the next generation. Unfortunately, I don't think that the former generation of women passed on that bit of gain to this generation of women. So instead of, well, if we want better communicating men, more emotionally intelligent men, it's partly our responsibility to incentivize and reward those types of men. Instead, it seems like there's the priority being placed on just simply complaining about what men aren't, right? So I would like to see women take, and when I say women, not you specifically or her specifically, but women as a delegation take their strength and their power in that sense more seriously. And I think over time, after I'm dead and gone, maybe even after our children and nephews and nieces are dead and gone, gradually we will see better communicating, more emotionally intelligent, more emotionally entombed men, but this isn't something we've been rewarded for being. This isn't something that, not only have we not been rewarded for being, it's also been something that would have been counterproductive to the gaps that we had to fill, right? Being an emotionally communicative man doesn't help you on the battlefield, it actually hurts you. Being an emotionally communicative man doesn't help you in a coal mine, it actually hurts you. Like we have had to for all intents and purposes, whether back in Africa, whether during slavery, even our white counterparts, we've had to turn off that human part of us in order to build the world and sustain it. And now we're being asked to turn it back on without acknowledging that, hey, that key might be a little rusty. You know, that muscle might have atrophied. It's in us, but it might have atrophied at scale. So there needs to be a bit of patience and also there needs to be a clear and concise push to say that this is what we want as women. This is what we want to see men become as women instead of this yes and or both thing where women are saying we do want to see men who are more emotionally intelligent and more emotionally in tune and expressive in the whole nine. But, and again, I'm not saying you specifically, but in mass, the actual demand, the actual thing that lubricates women is the opposite. It's a man who's not. It's, it's, I call it beauty and the beast syndrome. It's the guy who, you know, you feel like you need to take under your wing and you need to earn his affection or you need, it's the guy who's mean to everybody but nice to me type shit. So I would like to see women kind of take more ownership of some of those pitfalls in us. Just like I'd need to see us take ownership of some of the pitfalls in women, you know? And I don't think, I don't think we're doing that at scale. And we're not, I mean, unfortunately, like you said, there we are incentivizing the ones that we're complaining about men and women. So the tender, what is it? Select is basically going to incentivize women to continue behaving badly, so to speak. And I mean, men are going to pay for it. So I, I don't know. In some respects, even though it seems like there are a lot of women out here who aren't belligerent and who aren't putting their business on front street on IG or whatever, we are always overlooked. So I don't know what we're supposed to do when we're out, it's seemingly we're outnumbered. So. And you know, to be fair, that that's why I've been talking about this whole sadomasochism thing because it's often not talked about. Like we talk about how women like dugs and shit like that and women seek out Tupac with a PhD and stuff. And that's cool. But like similarly, men, some men seek out Jada, right? Some men seek out those, those bullish women who rewards my ego or my masculinity in some perverse way because I was able to tame her, right? She's a mean bitch, but you know, she called me daddy, that type of shit. And it never works, it never works sustainably. But again, you know, to your point, we are both at scale incentivizing the wrong type of men and women. Do you have energy for a panel? Because we have some people in the back. I was just looking at the chat. I was going to excuse myself like, holy moly. Unfortunately, no, I actually started working recently and I gotta be up early. Listen, I completely understand. Listen, have a good night. And you and I will talk soon. Like I said, we got a lot to discuss. All right, good night. Take care, good night. Peace. All right, y'all, before I bring y'all up, anybody who can't cam up, please do. It makes this thing look a lot better. But if you can't, I completely understand. I'm gonna make an exception tonight. We still haven't hit our goal. We've only hit $100 of the $500 goal. Y'all must not wanna hit my list, I guess. But yeah, this panel will not be super long because I wanna go ahead and get over to Patreon and talk about my list. But yeah, let me read off some of these super chats. Thank y'all for supporting the channel. Please hit that cash app. If we get to $500, I will just stay on and not go to Patreon. All right, Mr. Raidu, redo, redo? I'll probably butcher in that. But he says, what happens to the U.S. when the only people reproducing are the religious or the immigrant? What we see happening. What we see happening. You know, unfortunately, I'll say this. You know, my day job before I attempted to do this full time, I'm a UX designer, right? So I watch, sometimes watch stuff about design. I was watching this particular video and the guy he was comparing American design or Western design to like Eastern design. And he was talking about some of the things we prioritize, some of the things we deparitize, some of the things they prioritize, so on and so forth. And he talked about how some of the origins of how Eastern society looks at harmony and looks at society and looks at hierarchy is based on the fact that a lot of their economy and their sustenance was based on rice farming, right? Their agriculture was rice farming. And rice farming uniquely requires cooperation at scale. Right, in order for us to rice farm properly, we all, and when I say all, a bunch of us have to be on the same page. So over time, they've grown accustomed to being on the same page. I think juxtaposing that against black folks or even, you know, more broadly Western folks, we celebrate individualism. We celebrate rugged individualism. And even when we even think about the plantation, there were incentives in place for you to be the snitch. There were incentives in place for you to not be in cahoots or in cooperation with the majority of your brothers and sisters, even if we talk about apartheid on the continent or colonialism on the continent, there was more of an incentive for you to be a standout, one of the good ones in a modern sense than for you to be part of your nation, right? And I think that, you know, that has also led to the ways that we operate versus some other communities, whether the Asian community, the Jewish community, should even the LGBTQ community. And, you know, United we stand divided we fall. And I think that's often missed with us talking about black progress. King Jimmy, he says, we have to get this color purple mentality out of our communities. What y'all don't know is that your grandfather didn't father a few of your uncles and aunties, but he still made sure y'all were taken care of. That's a fact. And like I said, there's an overemphasis on grandma's stories and grandma's grievances. Not to say that grandma didn't have any, but there were a lot of grandfathers who weren't happy either. But the difference is men have never been allowed to prioritize our happiness. I don't necessarily, I lean towards that being a good thing, but I'm open to the argument that it's not, but I think it's a good thing. I think men should operate primarily based on happiness. Conversely, women are now being championed and incentivized, especially under a white supremacist context to prioritize our happiness, regardless of how it affects the people around her. So yeah, that context is very, very important. Lil, he says, pause my homeboy who women deemed ugly cheats all the time and has six kids in different states. That's not true MSCO. I don't remember what aspect of the conversation we were talking about, but yeah. Yeah, if you have res, you can trick women into thinking you're cute. That's what I know. And that's when I hear some aspects of the Manusphere talk about looks maxing and things like that, it's like I get it, that's cool. But I know some objectively handsome, chiseled jawline, buffed up dudes who get no pussy. And I know some dudes who teeth crooked and skin not nice, but he's got res or he's got status or he's been able to really tap in to where his demand comes from, right? Like he's found his tribe, whether that's, you know, the street aesthetic or whether that's, you know, the artist aesthetic, like he's found his tribe and those women think he's the bee's knees. So it's not always as cut and dry sometimes as we like to think it is as men. Harrison Davis, appreciate you. My brother's just straight love, just salute. The black intellectual appreciate you, my brother. All right, I'm gonna bring everybody up. And yeah, let us, let me try this because I usually don't do this, but I'm gonna, yeah, fuck it, let's do it. All right, I'm gonna bring you up first. Hey, how you doing? All right, triple black, what's going on, brother? What's happening? What's happening, Magnum, what's going on? The real beanie, what's going on? Jamie, your thing is not connected. What's good, what's good, can you hear me? We'll wait for you, yes, sir. Let me see, Magnum, I'm gonna let you go first, brother, because you've been the most patient. What's, what are your thoughts on this whole thing? First off, I wanna thank you for having me on the show, salute to everybody on the panel. First time member tonight, long time subscriber. I just wanted to let everybody in chat know that I make sure y'all sub to my channel. I'm on a sub rush for 250 subs by winter time and for 500 by summer. It's a small goal, but it's my goal. Kinda shout out to poor man's podcast. I wanted to also point out something that Media Man was talking about last night where he broke down the numbers on the availability of potential suitors in the dating market and the qualifications. On top of that, I wanted to address some of the things the young lady that was speaking about earlier as far as her expectations in the dating market, things that she was a bit disheartened about. I wanted to give her those responses in real time so she could get a dose of what men in this age range kinda see and what we expect from women. Women have their own expectations, but if they really want us, do you know what we expect from you? You went into detail on that a little while ago, so I didn't wanna take it back. No, no, absolutely. Listen, man, just summarize it. I'm sure she's gonna watch this back. Summarize it just like to put a button on your perspective on the whole thing. I would say something that pointed out to me, was when her voice was sweet, but she said something about it. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. There's something like a cum receptacle or something like that. I was like, the word she just used does not match her voice. And that was kinda like a sign like she's not, like she wants that marriage, but there's something there that's kind of, she needs to check in herself. She sounds soft, she sounds feminine, but she has a bit of a, there's a little devil in there somewhere. But besides that, about the, what you call it, the tender select, never in my life would I pay $500 a month for access to females. That just seems absolutely outrageous. I mean, you literally can fly out of the country for that amount. It doesn't seem rational for any man with any kind of sense. Like if you just have money to waste, I guess, but like you could do a lot more with that money. Like you could do way more with that money than $500 a month on an app. But there's not too much that I can say about that because I don't necessarily deal with the apps anymore. I did and like most men, I was not impressed with the caliber of women on the apps. A lot of them were in a entitled mindset, and I guess that had a lot to do with the amount of attention they were getting from other men as well as the desperation, I guess you can say for a lot of guys willing to spend money just to get their attention when it's highly, you know, it's kind of a, I don't know how to explain it, but it's a feedback loop and it makes the problem worse and worse and worse than like, because nobody can stop the dudes who are actually doing it. So you can't stop them from spending their money. They're gonna spend their money and you can't stop that. So there's no way to end that side of the loop and there's always gonna be somebody who's a fresh person in that cycle. But I just wanted to give some thoughts on that. I can let the other panelists speak. I didn't want to hold up too much time. Absolutely, absolutely. Nah, I mean, I just want to say something real quick. No, hold on one second, bro. Let's let the lady speak just to kind of keep it balanced. What are your thoughts on what you had to say? Can't hear you, bro. Look, you guys hear me now? Yeah. I can hear you. You can? Yeah, I can hear you now. All right, perfect. Yeah, so what are your thoughts on what you had to say? I had to say a bit of, I guess you could say back story just for me to insert myself in this whole relationship conversation. For me, I'm a single black woman in my 30s. I spent the majority of my 20s assuming that that was supposed to find a husband. Which hopes to graduate from college with a husband. But sometimes when we're having this conversation amongst my friend group, I often say, even though I was trying to get it right, it's like you still missed it. And now you're in your 30s and you need to get it all because here's the only nobody wants you, right? So, and I kind of picked up on kind of that sentiment in some of what the issue had on earlier was saying. And so I think that everything that we're all saying I don't know that I don't know if we've realized this or not, but any way you want to dissect it, any angle you want to come at it from, it all boils down to the fact that there is a complete breakdown in our culture in terms of how that is impacting how we are socialized, who we become, and therefore how we pair up with Mary. This breakdown in our culture, that's a very nice way to put it. We know why that breakdown is there, but nevertheless, it's there. So I can't help but have the question, if we know we're all screwed, we're all screwed in the head, we're all screwed in terms of taking the tender select thing as an example, there's just gonna be more and more trends of these type of things that are happening in the dating market, all these, whether it's tender select, whether it's apps, whether it's sex dolls, AI girlfriends, that all of that is happening for a reason. And it's because this is capitalism. So that means that there's a market for it. That means there's a demand for it. And that data should be signaling to us like loud and clear that something needs to shift. So if it's a breakdown in the culture, then that should mean some of our conversations should start to turn collaborative to what are we willing to sacrifice to create a new culture. And that's kind of where my head is at with it. And that's kind of how I internalized it when you spoke on the role of women in selecting men and selecting mates. And we have that control over who gets to procreate and taking that seriously. Are we prepared to make a serious effort of like coming up with a set of standards for how we choose a male and stick it to it or are we held bent on all just the individualists who are just in it for, who's the most handsome, who's the most beautiful person you can get, who's the most person with the most benefit to you financially. I think that's just a decision that we have to make amongst ourselves as a community and start to delineate ourselves along the lines of what's your choice on that. And so that a lot of our conversations turn into silos where we're literally creating a counter culture or rebuilding a culture, so to speak. Because it's not as if it's never been done before. We come from a people who have had eons of functional societies, so there's so much to draw from there. But we know we have been disconnected from that whether it's slavery or there's colonialism. We've been disconnected from that. So it's up to us to decide what's worth to us to sacrifice that, to get on code and start choosing not only our mates based on that, but our friends, we hang out with, we have business partners with. In my mind, it's not serious. And that's kind of like how I see the solution set being put into place. Absolutely, absolutely. Triple Black, what would you say to that? Or what would you add to that? The only thing I'm gonna add to that is, there's a sisterhood. There's a sisterhood that's going to back whatever statement that a woman makes, right? And the thing about it is there's no way to fight against that, right? No matter how delusional some of these dating standards are, there's gonna be a simp, or not a simp, but like a dude that's gonna be agreeable and there's gonna be women that agreeable, right? So you're gonna, okay, you'll have like, okay. Like that whole $500 standard, to most men, that shit sounds like that's fucked up, right? But listen, a woman would come on here and say, you know what, I gotta spend all this money on this and this and this and shit like that. So it's justifiable for you to spend this shit, just to meet me in my capping, in my capping. I'm gonna ask you guys, I mean. I think, can you hear me? Yeah. I think that whenever there's an opportunity for someone to spend more money to get the results they want and they have the money, they're gonna do it. There you go, there you go. Like if there's a justifiable means for everything that they fucking say, you feel me? The pure fact that they have a business plan to roll this out. Again, I mean, you're throwing business into it. It's a justifiable means. You know, I mean, just for me to like, on a human interaction, for me to be spending $500 just to meet you as a human being, like on service level that should be egregious. But because you have simps and you have women that control the simps and shit like that, they will find a justifiable agreement. I mean, not justifiable, but just a justifiable, you can justify it. You can justify it. But also at the same time, like you've always had lonely people like I live in the North West. Again, that's my whole point. Hold on. But it's the economy of loneliness. It's the economy of loneliness, I feel, you know? I mean, it's ridiculous though. On the other side, I mean, do you think that the sisterhood is sitting there talking about a $500 way of finding a fucking man, even though most of them don't got a damn man? Yes or no? I think that if there was a... That's crazy. I feel like there are... I live in Northwest where there's very few black people. I mean, I'm gonna ask you a straight up and down question. Do you think that women are sitting around talking about spending $500 just a fucking man? Depending on how attractive they are, if that option was given to them, yes they would. Lizzo's not even doing it. Lizzo's not even doing it. Come on, man. That's crazy. What you all should see, you gotta see like, I remember I was catching a bus one time back when I was a teenager. This old guy was like, this old guy was talking to a passenger, he was just got out of jail, he had the box of stuff, and he said pretty much, the guy was like, I need to find somewhere to find some bras pants. He was like, just what you need to do is find yourself a fat girl. And he was like, you don't think I can get a skinny girl? He said, no, it's not that, but if you get a fat girl, you know, she got a place to eat, she got a place to sleep. I never heard that before, so I was stuck with me. And so you think about attractive women or even like a moderately attractive woman wouldn't need to go those lengths, but there are women out here that, we all know the woman who has, who pays her man's rent. My brother has a wife who does that. She pays the rent, he sits at home drinking, smoking weed and playing video games. He's 50 years old. I, as a man, I could never do that. I could never understand why a woman would want someone like that. But when you feel mentally, that's all you can get. You're gonna do what you want to do, do what you need to do to hold on to what's that little bit that you have. Yeah, it's all, you can go ahead. What I was gonna say is that it's all relative, right? So even though on a dating app standpoint, you're talking about pre-30s, correct? So one of the things that we're starting to see that's very, very prevalent, you see it in Atlanta, Miami, women are spending thousands of dollars on BBLs, on various different types of cosmetic surgeries in order to make themselves appeal to certain types of men. So they're not doing that for the average man. Yeah, the average men are spending $500 to slightly increase their chances on dating apps. But when you're talking about the aspect of hypergamy and the issue that it's causing, you have women, there's a story I will never forget. It was an interview with former heavyweight champion, Evander Holyfield, and he was talking about how he literally had women getting hotel rooms above his hotel room, physically hanging from balconies and climbing down to get, and a woman actually did that, broke into his hotel room, you woke up basically with her on him. So whether it be that, and then also on the back end, look what the Ebony Kid Williamson just came back, women are spending tens of thousands of dollars for Black sperm and in vitro fertilizations at 40 plus, because they missed those opportunities with a man when you can definitely could have gotten with a lot of different men and had, basically that sperm given to you voluntarily. So it's not a matter of the women aren't doing it, it's just manifesting in a different way on the back end. At least that's how I look at it. Back to what the sister was talking about before, I think that stands out to me that her grandmother was out there crying or her aunts and stuff would give her these type of advice about life, about how unhappy they were in their relationships and everything, it just shows that, especially in the Black community, a lot of people come from broken homes, and when you come from a broken home, you really don't know how to build your own home, you're kind of just like, just building a home without a print. So you can't really, if you only been an abusive household or a fight, I didn't grow up wealthy, so I always think about not having or having my life turned off, so it's always in the back of my mind about not relaying these things happen. I dated someone else, she went to a private school, went to college, she's a doctor, so her father's a doctor, like her sister's a doctor, so she came from a family that never wanted it for anything, but they also don't have hustle and grime like I have, but I'm just like, what is wrong with you people, like you don't ever worry about this happening, you don't worry about that happening, but you never had to grow up with that, if you come from a broken house, and a lot of Black people unfortunately do come from broken houses, rather like you have a family member that was locked up, domestic violence, whatever have you, or just living in a poor area where you had to do what you needed to do to survive, then you're trying to move on because you always want your children to do better, like my mother told me never have kids unless I'm really for sure about it, I'm 37 and no kids, and I'm like, I wanna see my grandchild one day, so I need to crank out a kid pretty soon, but now I'm trying to find someone who's on the same page, and it's very hard to do. I think culturally we also have to change like our mindsets and how we look at all this, right? So we all know our history, going back to slavery, I think when you think about the gender war stuff, I think that it's particularly worse in the Black community right now. One of the things I always think about, I'll go all the way back to the fact that our families have been torn away from each other since slavery, right? When the Black man would, they literally used us like cattle and mated us and took that child and maybe sold them off to a different ranch or different slave plantation and sold that Black man off. So we was getting broken up back then and that continued through Jim Crow and all the way up through things like, the everybody knows about the crack epidemic and placing the drugs in the communities and allowing up to the three strikes and tough on crime laws in the 90s, right? So we know the history. So when you talk about solutions of how we can move forward, there is, I love that you brought up the whole thing that Tia Sanjocen brought up about the whole low contempt, hatred is I think we have to get back to having some level of empathy and grace for an understanding that there were bigger things outside of all of that that has been pushing us against each other. Cause even in less economic situations, you can see other cultures coming to this country with a lot less and part of the reason why they're able to make it is when you don't have as much, you can thrive easier through community. When you have communal people who can help watch kids and when people can have the great grandma stay or the grandma stay at the house and take care of the household so that all the men can go to work and they understand togetherness, right? And it goes back, you brought up the point about we've adopted this capitalistic hyperindividualism, right? To the point where people are so prideful in these ideas, I used to give the analogy of like, pulling a, if you're trying to move into an apartment complex on a four floor and you got the chester drawer, the dresser, the bed and everything you got to drag up all four flights of stairs, just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. We get to the top and we wouldn't brag about look what I did, I did it all by myself, this and that but we're not talking about how the couch is damaged. The walls got scuffed up and damaged on the way up, right? And then you wake up in the morning, your back has hurt, you know what I mean? And it took you a lot longer. Other communities did it together, they got everything up there, none of the stuff is damaged. They all feel good, they can get up early in the morning and accomplish more then. It's almost always better together and we are not. We're arguing over like semantic stuff, little small things, who started it, who's fault it is as opposed to understanding the problem in the hand that's been over the top kind of orchestrating this which goes back to the hyper capitalistic and white supremacist aspects that particularly in our communities has led us down this path in the first place. No, I mean, the thing about, I mean, I'm trying to stay on topic. One of the topics that we were talking about is this whole tender thing, right? To where you have an access point for men, right? To be able to pay $500 to be able to have certain access to women. And I'm gonna ask you guys this question, do you think like, you know, cause one of the grievances of a lot of women is they don't have access to, or like serious men or men that have the means or whatever, like if you're paying $500 to have access to certain women, do you think there's gonna be an improvement overall if they're in that damn pool? Yes or no? No, it's not gonna be an improvement. I think the $500 access to I think it's still not related. So let me show you how you can relate it because it all comes back, like you said earlier, if you have $500 a month in today's culture and society, when people are struggling, living by themselves, living paycheck to paycheck, the majority of people, you look at the averages of incomes in the United States, despite what Instagram tell you, you're not flying to Dubai and doing all these other stuff. No, I mean, my brother. They're going to, the situation is going to be worse because, but the question is, when you have so many lonely people, right? How can you prevent, it's like saying, how can we stop people from eating and taking a little bit of food from the buffet when everyone's starving? No, no, the question I was asking, I mean, let me reframe the question. Because one of the grievances that women have, right? There's not enough men that are providers and there's not enough men that are, have the means to take care of all their whatever, right? But if you have a dude that's willing to pay $500, just to have access to what women say that they want, do you think there's going to be an improvement? No, I don't think there's going to be any type of improvement for anything. So you think like, even in that arena, they're going to up the ante. They're going to be like, you know what? I need a dude to do more than just pay the bare minimum of $500. I don't think there's going to be an improvement of, well, if you talk about improvement for the odds of that person finding what they're looking for, there's going to be improvement for that. Do I think what they're looking for is going to give them the means to have a long-term satisfaction? I don't think so. And do I think the person they're going to find is going to find what they're looking for? I think it's a, it's kind of a race to the bottom at this point. So throwing money at the issue, what you're saying is throwing money at- Pause one second, brothers. Pause one second. So we are about to head over to the Patreon at 11. So we have five minutes left. I'm going to give y'all just wrap up this bit of the conversation just so I can make that transition. So everybody get a final say, I guess. So we'll start with you, triple black. No, I'm just saying, throwing money at the issue is not going to improve the issue. There's an inherent problem with just, I mean, I want to say, I don't want to put it on the women, but I think it's an inherent problem with the women in general, that it's just like if whatever the expectation is, there's going to be another expectation after it. I mean, it's just a nation of women, you know what I'm saying? So giving women an access pool of these high value men that can maybe pay that shit, it's not going to improve the damn situation. It might make it even worse. It might make it even worse because it's going to get to a point to where like, you know what, I'm in this pool, I'm being objectified even more than I am just in the regular world. So, fuck these guys, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I'll just leave it at that. Jermaine, I'm going to let you respond and then we'll make the transition. And if you're in the back and I couldn't bring you up, please just click the link in the chat, head over to Patreon and we'll continue the conversation there. I just personally believe that there's a deficit of, I wouldn't say there's deficit. I think that a lot of times in the black community, especially that we look for a partner when we're serious in the wrong places. I was talking about cousins. She said, I ain't ever find someone I want to be with long-term at the club. I feel like Tinder is pretty much a digital version of the club. I think we really need to start building more community and finding places where you can actually vet these people before men and women. Last time I went on a date on Tinder, she sold Coke. So after that, I deleted that. Like, that's not what I'm about. And we just need to find better social places for black community, especially in just find better community and better people in these places. Absolutely. The real beanie, last thoughts? No, I agree. I don't think that the aspect of $500 a month is gonna help. I think it's just pushing more towards what we've been talking about the issue with hyper-hyper-hypergamous dating market. And we have to get back to more community, maybe speaking with each other, far as friends, things like that, family members, hooking people up and showing through actual successful relationships and encouraging positive families and things of that nature and get away from the ideal of what people think, the entertainment and all that stuff that's getting pushed on us as black people. Absolutely. I think that the whole select thing is not a solution to anything, except increasing the bottom line of senior profit margins. So I don't even know what else we can expect from that. And I think somebody called it the loneliness economy. It's just amplifying that. It's just giving that room to bring me. And I don't think the intention is to facilitate even type of meaningful interaction. So I can't foresee anything meaningful coming out of that. And hopefully it serves as a thinking for us to organize ourselves a little bit better about what we're going to do. Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much. I'm gonna drop y'all down and we'll close this thing out and head over to Patreon. All right, where's my camera? All right. Like I said, in order to keep this YouTube thing sustainable, we have to be strategic in some of the decisions. So part of that is trying to funnel some of this momentum to Patreon. So like I said, the second part of this, I came up with a list of yellow flags, right? We've been seeing a lot of lists circulating right now in the social media zeitgeist about places not to take women and things not to do in the whole nine. So I've come up with a list as a guy who has had relative success with women and also has interviewed a whole lot of women, more specifically black women. I wanna talk about some of the caution signs, some of the things to look for when differentiating between a potential wifey material woman and somebody who might just be something to play with or something to leave completely alone. So if you're interested in that conversation or even continuing this conversation, click the link on the screen that's also pinned, excuse me, at the top of the chat, head over to Patreon and that stream should be popping up momentarily and I'll be in there in a second. But if you're checking out here, thank you so much for listening. Make sure you hit the like button on your way out. Appreciate you all so much. Make sure you're following us on Instagram and make sure you're in the Instagram updates channel just so when YouTube doesn't notify you guys when I post that we can remain up to date there. So again, I appreciate you all. Thank you all so much and I will see you guys on Patreon. Peace.