 Good evening, and thank you for joining us tonight. In a moment, we will go to our study. You will see that we will not have a bulletin, but we'll go directly to our teaching and then we'll conclude the teaching with a few words of encouragement to you who are viewing our services online. Please take the opportunity of letting us know that you're watching, and if you desire to give an offering, you can do so online. If you're watching us via computer, click on the give button in the upper right corner of your screen. If you're watching on your mobile device or iPad, click give under the menu button. If this is your first time giving digitally, follow the instruction under four ways to give to process your gift. You can also mail your checks to 1-2-2-0-5 North Pipeline Avenue, Chino, California 91710, and remember, you can still come in and use the kiosks we have in the foyer that are set up to process gifts, or you can place your gift in an envelope and hand it to one of our receptionists in the foyer. Thank you, and with that, let's get into the teaching. Today we're in Sangha Salam, and we're looking at Chapter 2. We're going to look at Verses 8 through 17. What I'll do is I'll give to you a review, if you will, of some of the things that we were looking at last time, but especially developing one aspect of what we looked at last time we're together, but we'll be looking at Verses 8 through 17 this morning. So let's begin reading at Verses 8, and what I'll do is I'll simply read Verses 8 and 9, get into an introduction, do some review, and then move into our study. Second Solomon, Chapter 2, beginning at Verses 8, The voice of the beloved. Behold, he comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills, my beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he stands behind our wall, he's looking through the windows, gazing through the lattice. Sangha Solomon is a book that is interesting in the way that it's normally interpreted. There are two basic ways that Sangha Solomon, the book that we're studying right now, have been interpreted. One is it's looked at as being a book that is really a love story between a young man and a woman that he is terribly in love with. There's another way of looking at this. It really was looked at this way in particular during the medieval portion of the history of the church. And it would be that this is a picture of the love that the Lord Jesus Christ has for the bride, his church. I've been looking at it as basically as a manual relating to relationships. And so when you look at Sangha Solomon, the first few chapters deals with a young man, Solomon, young woman who's referred to as the Shulamite, who are yet to be married. And so you see the dating or courtship or whatever contemporary way we'd like to explain it. You see those elements of the relationship. And then ultimately it moves into the consummation. It moves into the fact that they have been married. And some of the things that you get in terms of understanding from their relationship after they have gotten married. And so what we've been looking at is the introduction into the first portion of it related to the fact that they are unmarried at the time of the writing of the first few chapters. And so we've been looking at this. We need to remember that during biblical times dating and even courtship was non-existent. Normally what there was was a system of arranged marriages. And the father would actually meet with the other father. The bride's father would meet with the groom's father. And they would discuss various things like dowry and things that related to those practical things. They look at family lines and that's basically how they made a determination if a young man would be married to this young woman. That's how it worked. It wasn't a dating system. Here in the United States we have obviously a system that we call dating where an individual starts taking somebody else and ultimately through the dating relationship may choose to ask that person to get married and then they marry. So we have an entirely different kind of system here. We have a system where you date and then you choose your own mate through dating. Now during the process of dating you're normally acquiring knowledge of the other person. You're determining whether you desire to take the relationship deeper. After the initial attraction that you have there are certain things that begin to surface when you begin to date. As you go out you begin to see them for what they really are. You spend time with them. You go through enough situations to see what they are like when they're under pressure. You notice how they are around your friends. You see the way they are around your family. You begin to see how they spend their money. You learn whether or not they respect you, whether they value you. All of this comes out in your dating relationship. You discover how you feel after you've been with them. You end the date. You go home. You begin to think what was it like? You know what am I getting out of this relationship? You evaluate those things. You begin to take into consideration how they speak to you, how they treat you, how they speak of you to other people. And you begin to awaken as to whether or not you feel secure with them, whether you're comfortable with them. This is a relationship that isn't secret. It becomes very open. People know that you two are together. You're a couple and you see how that works out. During that time, you begin to develop stronger physical desires for them. And this desire as it is awakened, well, it needs to be kept within proper boundaries. And that's why in chapter two, verse seven, the last portion of it, that's why where it says, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases. That's why that's so very important. That infers that there are limits to physical expression prior to marriage. Today here in our society in the United States and worldwide really, there has been a lowering of standards as it relates to propriety in relationship. And so physical expression for some is pretty much normal in terms of being a part of that relationship. And the thought that there should be limits to physical expression really, well, that's not a thought that they really entertain. What we as Christians need to understand is God has a purpose for sexual intimacy. When God created male and female, he gave them the ability as well as the need to become one flesh in the first book of the Bible, Genesis chapter two, verse 24, the scripture says that the two shall become one flesh. And so in God's design, there was an intention in the way he created man, there was an intent for them to have a unity to become one flesh. It's interesting how in the first book of the Bible, Genesis, there is a reference to the fact that the two shall become one flesh. And then in the Old Testament, the last book of the Old Testament, the book of Malachi, that basically is repeated. In Malachi chapter two, verse 15, we read, but did he not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Well, the family is his plan. It's his plan for populating the earth. It's his plan for populating the earth with a people who love God and a people who are loved by him. God had enough power, that's what it means when it speaks concerning the remnant of the Spirit. God had enough power to make several wives for Adam, but he only made one because he intended one man to be married to one woman. And that's the best way to produce godly children. That occurs within what is called the covenant of marriage. And so God has a place for the expression of physical desire. And that's within the confines of marriage. That's why the Shulamite in chapter two, verse seven says, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases. Do not put yourself into the position of stirring up sexual desire before marriage, physical attraction, sexual excitement. Those are good gifts from God, but they're for divinely ordained purposes, not for immediate gratification and not for selfish pleasure. The desire for physical intimacy is good, but the selfish drive to possess it before marriage is not. Before marriage, it isn't love that provokes us of physical intimacy. Sometimes people will say, oh, I'm so in love, I just can't keep myself away from her. I just can't keep my hands off of her. She may say the same thing about him. And that is not love. See, somebody says, I'm in love. No, you're not in love, you're in heat. There's a difference. See, what that is, is that's called lust. And there's a difference between the two. You see, sexual behavior is regulated because sexual behavior being regulated actually preserves the sacred meaning of physical intimacy. And intimacy outside of marriage is wrong. It's wrong because it violates God's purpose and it destroys the meaning of total union, that becoming one that God intended. Well, somebody asks the question, well, if we're not married, how physical can we be? Where's the line? What can I do? What am I free to do? Well, if you personally have to ask that question, you may have already crossed the line. If you're looking for how far to the edge can I go before it's sinful, you're already entertaining the wrong kinds of thinking. The bottom line is Romans 13, 14, where it says, put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. Don't put yourself in a position that you're going to ignite the flame of passion when you're not married. Obviously, I don't want to impose legalistic limits on a relationship, but I do give personal advice. And my personal advice would be refrain from all forms of sexual intimacy until marriage. That's scriptural. But also, I would say this in a practical way. I would say refrain from prolonged kissing. Refrain from what would be delicately referred to as intimate caressing. And common sense dictates refrain from partial or total nudity. Avoid immodest dress. Avoid sexually explicit conversations. Avoid sexually suggestive forms of media. Avoid those things. And if you do so, you'll be living within the parameters of wisdom, and you'll keep yourself from moving into an area that perhaps, ultimately, you might cross into and end up paying the price in many ways. You see, when you're dating somebody, if they love you, they're going to respect God's word, and they're also going to respect your personal limits. Those are all things that fall under the heading of things that you learn while dating. Now, eventually, if things are going deep, you enter into what is called serious dating. That's when you're dating just the one person. And you're doing so with the intent to marry that person. It's moving towards a formal engagement and ultimately getting married. And it's at that time that you begin to determine whether you can live with them over a lifetime. You begin at this point to take greater notice of the way that they live. You take the time to see what their normal way of living is, how they really are, just by watching them. You see, when you're dating, normally the person you're dating is on their best behavior. But if you go with them long enough, you begin to see how they react to pressure. You begin to see what they're really like as a person. Proverbs 20, verse 11 says, even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right. You can pick up the way that they are simply by being around them. You begin to see whether they're pushy, whether they're open, whether they're quiet, whether they're mean-spirited, whether they're kind. You begin to see all those things. And you ought to be with them long enough to begin to discover those things. You know, people remain pretty much the same person when they get married. Great changes can take place over time. Maturity, emotional and spiritual can't occur. But if there's no growth occurring while you're dating, growth isn't going to happen later. Some things are habits and some things are character deficits. And those are things that you need to be aware of when you're with this person. And if you have a difficult dating relationship, you're going to have a difficult marriage. Marriage doesn't make you grow up. It produces pressure that reveals what you're like. In 1 Corinthians 7, 28, it says, those who marry will face many troubles in this life. And that's the truth. These times of pressure reveal a person's character as well as revealing their genuine faith in the Lord. And so you need to spend time with that person to discover those things. Now as we look at that, again in verse 8, notice how the Shulamite says, the voice of my beloved, behold, he comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. As I read that, that doesn't sound too manly to me, frankly. I mean, I just saw Maria. I didn't go leaping and skipping towards her. I have a problem with that imagery. It just doesn't seem to be much of a man here anyway. But what that is really showing is eagerness. It's an eagerness on the part of this man to be near her and an eagerness for him just to see her. That's what he's talking about, what she's speaking about. He wants to know everything about her. He has a tremendous interest in her. He's actually studying her. That's what it's referring to in verse 9, when it says he stands behind our wall, he's looking through the windows, he's gazing through the lattice. At first that's kind of a creepy thought. He's a creeper. You know, it sounds that way. But that's not what he is. What it's saying is he has an interest in her. It's like what the apostle Peter says when he tells men to dwell with your wife. He says according to knowledge. Dwell with your wife according to knowledge. Make her the main thing in your life that you study. Get to know her is what he's saying. Spend time with your wife. Observe her behavior. Get to know her. This actually would, I'll be built on whether or not somebody really cares enough about her to really want to know her. Well, here it says he does. He gays this at her. He wants to know he has an eagerness for him to be near to her. He's gazing at her. He wants to know everything about her. He has a tremendous interest in her. He is spending his time studying her. And that's what you do when Marie and I were dating. Even to this day as a married couple, I have made her a person that I actually study. And there are times in marriage where your wife or husband may say you don't really know me. Well, that may be so. Maybe I don't. Maybe I'll never really know you the way God does. I never will know that. But there are things I know about you right now. There are things that I've spent a lifetime studying so that I might know of you because that's what husbands do. Husbands learn the things that their wife likes, the things that she doesn't like, knows how to speak to her, knows what's going to happen if he speaks in a certain way. He knows these things. He learns these things through time. And so what he's saying here is that he wants to know her. What she is saying is he's gazing at me. He wants to know me. He's observing me. He's spending time with me. He has an interest in me. And the knowledge that he has an interest in her really does something for her heart. Now, when you decide that this is a person that you could see yourself married to, there are things that should happen. You should be deepening your communication slowly but consistently. When you're moving toward marriage, the natural desire is to know that person better. And it takes wisdom. It takes wisdom to know whether you can trust them. And trust takes time. Jesus in John 225, it's spoken of him there. It says that Jesus had no need that anyone should testify of man, for he knew what was in man. Jesus knew that not all people could be trusted with information. That there are some that really can't be trusted with information. And some people shouldn't be trusted with too much personal information. If you're going out on a date, the first time you go out, you don't begin to bear your soul to them. You don't begin to share your heart with them, your dreams and your thoughts with them. That person may not be trustworthy. They may turn on you when they get angry. They may share the things that you shared with them and try to humiliate or hurt you. It's been said it takes time to develop trust, but it only takes a moment to lose it. And that's what happened. So be careful. When you're moving toward marriage, you begin to reveal more of your heart. You begin to share about your life's plans. You begin to share about schooling, whether you want to go to school, whether you're going to continue in school, when you're going to graduate from school, what you'd like to do with your life. You begin to speak concerning things about your future. If you're actually moving towards marriage, you begin to think in terms of children. Will we have children? How many children would we like? That's all part of what you should be speaking about. You should be opening up your heart and sharing some of your dreams with that person. You might even become vulnerable and start sharing some of the things that are private. I've mentioned to you that my wife, Marie and I, we'll be driving together and sometimes we'll play music and a lot of times we don't. Most of the time we don't. If we have it on, it'll be in the background. It'll be low because we do a lot of talking. We're always visiting, but I've never told you this. Some of you have heard me say this before, but I've never really openly said this to the whole congregation. You know, Marie was the only person in my life when we're dating that I grew to trust enough to share things with her that nobody else knew about me. Things that are kind of corny to some, you know, like I'm a writer. She discovered that I write all those years ago when we began to go together. I would write things. I would write her poetry and things. She's the only girl I ever did that with. One of the things I used to do is I used to sing to her. That's kind of funny to admit now, but I used to sing to her. I mean, the reason we didn't listen to the radio is she would ask me to sing her songs. Her favorite one was far, far away. She'd say, could you sing far, far away? No, I'm just kidding. Sounds of silence. She would ask me to sing to her. And whatever she wanted, I would sing to her. And I used to sing to her all the time. There were things that I would do with her. I would write her. I would sing to her. I would do those things that I never did with anybody else. I would never open my voice up like that. I would never open my heart up like that. It was Marie. Marie's the one who brought that out of me. I trusted her. I knew she wouldn't humiliate me. I knew she wouldn't make fun of me. I knew she wasn't the kind of person who would do that. And she actually enjoyed me. And that meant a lot. And so the day finally came when I told her I loved her. And I never, you know, I wasn't one who could do that. I didn't want to do that. And the first time we started talking about love between us, I asked her. I said, Marie, do you love me? I mean, I wouldn't say I love you. I asked her, do you love me? Marie, do you love me? And she looked at me and she said, yes, I do. And she said, do you love me? And I said, I don't know because I didn't know. I said, I don't know. Well, I asked her, I said, Marie, if I asked you to marry me, would you marry me? And she said, yes. I said, great. If I ever think of asking you, I know the answer. I mean, that's a true story. I mean, I actually did that, you know, that's a true story. That's good to know, you know. I did, you know, so when the day came, then I finally was committing myself to this woman. I took my hands and I cupped them together with my palms up. And I touched my heart and I went like made a gesture from my heart with my hands open. And I said, I'm giving you my heart. And I said, it's very delicate. It breaks easily. Please don't break it. And that's that was for me, something that was very, very difficult to do to say, I actually love you. I just, just, I didn't want to do that. I was afraid to because I was afraid of being hurt. I think many of us understand that. Be very careful with the things that you open up and share with people. Over time, you begin to share secrets, maybe sad memories, disappointments, or fears that you have. Now, if that's normal, I mean, every time you're together, that's what you hear. Sad memories and fears. It may not be you that they need. They may need a counselor. Be aware of that. Because you don't want to get into a relationship where you're always counseling. You know, there are sorrows and there are pains that all of us go through, but we don't want to hear those every time we're together. And so just be aware of those things. But as that happens, as you begin to hear these things, you begin to ask yourself things like, how much should be disclosed? How much should be disclosed to this person that I'm with? How much should I share with them? The answer would be as much as the relationship requires. In your dating and all, you don't need to speak of previous relationships. You don't need to bring up names and dates and things like that. A good rule of thumb is share what may ultimately come up later through someone else. You need to be aware of the fact that you don't need to open everything up, especially as you're beginning. Just share what is comfortable for both of you. Now, you also need to be aware of the things of their personal direction. Where do they want to go with their life? It may not be a place that you want to go. Marie graduated from college. She was speaking to me and she said to me that she had an opportunity to possibly work for the correctional officers as a correctional officer here in Chino. And she says I have an interview to become a correctional officer. And I remember saying to her, well, that's great. But if you become a correctional officer, you and I aren't going to stay together. You realize that because that's not a direction that I plan on going. I told her when we get together, I said, look, if you want to be with me, this is where I'm going. And where I'm going is I believe God called me into the ministry. So you need to know where you're going to go, where your direction is. Because I'm not about to hinder that girl from being where God wants her to be. But if I can't take that journey with her, I'm certainly not going to get become part of it because I'll eventually hinder it. And I won't do what is right for her in the Lord. So Marie had to make a choice. And my choice was to be in full-time ministry. There are things that you'll discover as your day. You ask questions like, say we get married. Where do you want to live? And how close to your in-laws do you really want to be? Where do you plan on spending your holidays? And who's going to watch the kids for you? Are you getting closer to your potential in-laws or are you saying, look, I can put up with you, but I can't put up with your mom? I mean, these are all things that you really actually have to deal with. You have to understand those things as you're getting into your relationship. Because you marry the woman, you marry the family. So that's something just to be aware of as a man. Do you expect to cook? Or do you want your wife to be the cook? When Marie and I got together, Marie never cooked. She had never cooked in her life. I was the guinea pig and she learned to cook by fattening me. I can still remember, I've told this story before, it's true. Marie would work until eight o'clock. She'd get off work. She'd come home. She would make a full meal for me and I wouldn't eat dinner until 10 at night. So I'm eating at 10 o'clock every night. And Marie came from a family of eight and so she never learned how to portion meals into two. So she would put the entire steak for me to eat. I remember on one occasion she said to me, what's your favorite food? And I said, I like steak piccolo. And she said, you do? And I said, yeah. So she surprised me. So she gets this big old piece of meat and she gets these real hot chilies and just smothers the steak with the chili. And she puts it on my plate and I'm eating it crying. I'm crying. And she says, oh, you like it? I said, yeah, it's making me cry. It's so good. I put on 20 pounds in a month because she just piled it on. And then she says, you're getting fat. Yeah, you're helping me, aren't you? You need to ask those questions, though. Those are the kinds of things, you know, have you ever balanced a checkbook? Do you have a budget? When you get married, are you planning on continuing to work? When Marie and I got together and, you know, I was going to school and I was working part time. She was working and she worked into the first several years of our marriage. As a matter of fact, when this church began in 81, she was still working. And so I was working and I was pastoring this church. She was working and we didn't know where our money was going to come in to be able to support us. And I remember that she got a call from Chino High School and the Chino High School hired her to come as a teacher for a semester there, which was interesting. They asked her, could you come please? And could you teach Spanish? And so that was great because she doesn't know how to speak Spanish. And after a semester, neither did her students, you know. They all got A's. You know, she spoke it enough, but to sit down and actually teach it, that's something else. And so we needed to know whether or not she should work or whether, how long she was going to work, things like that. Those are things that you have to know. You need to know as you're getting together, that's what you should be learning. That's where conversations actually should be leading you to know these kinds of things. Now in verse 10, he says, My beloved spoke and said to me, Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away. For low the winter has passed, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth. The time of singing has come. And the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. And come away. Solomon is using language that reveals he desires her only in an exclusive way. This is actually a picture of springtime. And it's really saying there's romance in the air. As spring brings an explosion of beauty, he's saying love also grows. So in this relationship, there should be a growing desire to be with that person all of the time. And when you do finally get married, it's good to keep doing the things that kindled your love. And the bottom line is, Marie and I still date. We spend hours together daily. We visit. We enjoy our lives. When we're able to, we go places. We have getaways. Marie knows me. She knows the things about me. She knows how silly I can be. She knows things like that. You know, in our marriage, I've got a real kind of a real stupid sense of humor. And that's the truth. I mean, when we were married early in our marriage, I used to have a black widow spider, a little plastic one that I would put all over the house just to scare her. I mean, I would put it under her pillow at night. So when she lifted up the pillow, there's a spider and she'd scream. It was a lot of fun. I mean, she would, I would put it in the freezer on top of the meat. So when she pulled the meat out, the spider would fall at her feet and I'd hear her screaming. Ah, you know, I know, it's just a blast. You know, I enjoyed it. I remember, I remember one time I was carrying Anna, who was just an infant at that time, in a little pink, her pink pajamas. And I brought her into the kitchen. And as I brought her into the kitchen, I drew Marie's attention to her. I said, isn't she so cute in these pink pajamas? And I turned Anna so that Anna would be looking at her mama. Anna was only a couple months old. And Marie goes, oh, she's so cute. I said, oh man, I love this baby. And I walked out. I ran into the other room. I took her pajamas off, put it a doll on, you know, put the pajamas on a doll, put it back up, carried the doll back into the kitchen. And I said, Marie, isn't she so cute? And Marie turns and looks, oh, she's cute. And then I tripped and fell on top of the doll. Got these little arms underneath me. Ah, it was good. That was so funny. She's all screaming and everything. It was good. Oh, she got so mad. You know, I don't, what's wrong with you? This is funny. All of you in my church know that I've had memory issues over, you know, I've actually had amnesia more than once. And so Marie's really on the alert with that. A few years ago, I had had another episode of Losing My Memory. And Marie was real concerned for me. And I was coming home from a Sunday night service and I was bored. So I called her up and I said, I'm on my way home. Who am I speaking to? She goes, this is, this is Marie. This is your wife. I said, who, this is your wife. I said, oh, I'm coming home, but I don't know where I'm at. Where are you? I said, I don't know. I said, I'm just driving. Now I'm on my way home. I mean, I'm going home, but I'm talking on the phone. I'm coming home. I'm passing streets that I don't recognize. There's a street called, called Walnut. And I said, I turned left on it. I'm going towards some city. It's called Ontario. She goes, you're going in the wrong direction. No, I said, what's the street Euclid? She goes, oh, you're in the wrong direction. Turn around, turn around. I said, oh, I don't, ah, you know, I'm doing it and I'm driving straight home. And so as I'm driving, I say, okay, I've turned around. There's a street called Phillips, you know, but I'll take a left. No, you've got to, no, you know, she's getting on. She says, where are you? And I give her, you know, a street. I'm coming. I'm on my way. I said, okay, I'll just keep driving on this street, right? So she gets, I'm almost, I'm coming home. I'm only like two miles from home, but she's driving and she gets my son, Joseph, and I directed her to intersect me. So I knew she was going to go past me. I said, I'm on some street. I'm coming, honey. I'm coming to get you. I said, all right, I'm driving. And I see her coming towards me with Joseph. Then I could see him. So I put my hands at 10 o'clock and two o'clock and I just stared ahead and she's flashing her lights off and honking the horn. And I, I just kept driving and she stops in the street and she's moving her hands and I just drove past her and just, and I went by and then she drives and makes a U-turn. Now I put my foot on the gas and I'm speeding, you know, and she's trying to chase me and catch me and I'm going to the neighborhood. So I got her chasing me and, and I got way in front of her and I got home and I was laying on the couch watching TV. I mean, it took her a long time to get there. She walks in, what are you doing here? I said, I was bored, you know, she gets mad. I don't know why. I mean, I've been doing this for years. I do it. See, so you need to know whether you want to be married to that. You date, you get to know each other, you get to hate one another occasion and that's the way it is. But we need to know each other. We need to spend time and that's what getting together is all about, right? That's what it's all about. Now this, the Solomon is saying, listen, I love you and I want to come away with you. Marie and I still date. I spend hours a day speaking to her. You know, I say this to you because it's practical. I want to know that woman. I want to know her as well as she can be known and she wants to be known by her husband. So I make sure to date my wife. It doesn't have to be expensive. I mean, Marie learned that a long time ago. She learned that when we're dating. Dates don't have to be expensive. She got mad at me when we're dating because I only spent $10 on a date. Can't you believe that? If she had more, I'd have spent more. That's all she had. Bring more money, I'll spend more money. If they don't have to be expensive, the dates don't have to be. Get a cup of coffee. Just spend some time outside in the backyard. Get away for just a few minutes. Get away for a half hour an hour. Do that. Marie and I do that every day. Every day. Every day. We've been doing it every day for years. That's why I believe our marriage is good. We have getaways. Even as he says there, he says, come away. We have our getaways where we just, it's just Marie and me. And often, we'll have some friends who will go with us, but we spend time together. That's what we do. It's just a lot of fun, and it helps you to keep your marriage strong. Notice verse 15. Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines. For our vines have tender grapes. Well, it's interesting because when it says catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, during this time you would have your vineyard. You would have a fence around it, and the fence would keep the large foxes out, but it was the small ones that would creep in and destroy the vines. And it's normally the small things that eventually add up to be destructive. So watch the small things. Deal with the small things before they become big things. And beyond that is something that's really important where it says, look at verse 16. My beloved is mine and I am his. He feeds his flock among the lilies. My beloved is mine and I am his. There is a trust and a commitment to this one person. There's this sense of a commitment that he has for her, and she has this strong commitment to him. When you become unguarded in your relationship over small things, danger begins to exist. One basic thing that I'd encourage you to is avoid stirring up memories of old boyfriends or old girlfriends. The memories you have of old loves are normally tainted by time and exaggeration. You need to remember that though you might have had a first love, that was a very strong love. First loves normally are very intense. Normally looked at as being the best. The fact is, you're not with that first love normally. Some of you married your first love. Most don't. There was something about that relationship that wasn't healthy, didn't go the way it was supposed to go. And here we are later on idealizing it and making it into, oh, it was the best time. Avoid going on my space looking for old boyfriends or girlfriends. Avoid going on those social networks like Facebook. Avoid being careful and looking for them. Avoid being with friends who will say they might have known your old boyfriend or an old girlfriend. You say, oh, by the way, how is so-and-so. Avoid those conversations. They're not worth it. They're not worth it. I have known people who stirred up a relationship through Facebook, went back to an old boyfriend and ended up losing their marriage. They go back to what they think was good. Avoid it like the plague. Have nothing to do with it. Don't be asking questions about old girlfriends. How are they doing? Are they looking the same? Do they ever mention me? Stay away from that because the enemy has a way of giving you an opportunity to exaggerate the importance of that relationship in your own mind to the point that you begin to think that it was the best one you ever had and you were the happiest then. You've never been so happy as you were at that time. Marie and I have known people who have gone back to old first loves and divorced present husbands because of that. Watch out for it, the enemy uses that. Watch out for those things. Make sure that you make a full commitment to that person you're married to and let the past be the past. Don't look for that old person on Facebook. Don't look for that old person on MySpace or any of those social networks. I'm telling you it's dangerous. Finally, in verse 17, until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, turn my beloved, be like a gazelle, young stag upon the mountains of Bether. That's actually a picture of marital love because there's an intense desire that is being awakened in this young woman and she desires him to be with her in an intimate fashion. But she's at the same time making sure that they remain pure until the moment comes when she can yield up herself to this man in the covenant of marriage, which you'll see later on in the book. So be careful. You can have longing but don't give yourself a place to express that longing because you're going to end up regretting decisions that you're making and paying a penalty emotionally and even spiritually for that. Remain wise, be committed and remain pure. In marriage, keep the fire burning and keep the relationship strong and watch what the Lord will do. Father, we ask that you would work in us today. We ask that you would continue to just work in our hearts and that you would continue to show us what you would have for us. Lord, I would lift up this congregation and I would pray that we would have strong relationships from the dating, Lord, into the marriage, into the family and all the rest that we have. So help us as we look at this book just to find practical things that can help us to firm up who we are and help us as we move in the area, Lord, of developing a permanent relationship called marriage, Lord. So we just ask that you work in us today and work in such a way that we might be pleasing to you. Our eyes are closed and our heads are bowed. Perhaps there are some in this room right now that need prayer. I'd like to pray for you as our eyes are closed. If you need to get right with the Lord, if there are things that you need to yield to him or perhaps your life is just in need of prayer, whatever the case may be. If you need prayer, would you raise your hand right now and let me pray for you right where you're at? Father, you see these hands. You know the reason why they're being raised to you right now and I'm asking that you would reach down and you would touch these lives. Father, there are needs that are in this place that only you can meet. I ask that you meet them now, Lord, to your glory. Bring healing where healing needs to be. Bring hope, Lord, where hopelessness exists. Bring joy where pain is. I made your spirit just in golf. We lift them to you now, Lord, and I pray that your hand would be on them. Thank you, Lord. You can put your hands down. Lord, I ask that you keep moving in all of us in Jesus' name. Amen. Let's all stand. We'll close with a word of prayer and a song and again tonight we're gathering together, putting on the armor. We're in a war. I invite you to be with us as we look at the equipment God has provided for us. Father, would you work in us and through us and use us for your glory? We leave this place now asking that you would go with us. Draw us back tonight throughout this week that we might be equipped for works of service and we ask this now in Jesus' name. Amen. God bless you. I pray the study was encouraging and I want to thank you for your continued support and prayers and invite you to join us next Sunday night as we move into the next part of our study. As I mentioned earlier, if you would like to give your offering, you can do so online. If you're using a computer, click on the give button in the upper right corner of your screen. If you're watching on your mobile device or iPad, click give under the menu button. If this is your first time giving digitally, follow the instruction under four ways to give to process your gift. And finally, you can either mail your checks to 12205 North Pipeline Avenue, Chino, California, 91710. Or if you're able, you can come to the sanctuary and use the kiosk we have in the foyer that are set up to process gifts. You can also place your gift in an envelope handed to one of the receptionists in the foyer. So thank you. God be with you and we look forward to having you with us once again.