 So the day breaks down with a round of unnatural disasters Your heart beat pounds and it drowns out the sound of laughter So these bitches and bastards, you down pound for pound Then put you out to pasture Hear them say it's starting, well it's starting Run stone close to your nose, they won't let you forget it Promise every note that they wrote to show how you ended it Some stone used to glow but now they're frozen and set up Who's up your road? In a state of shock, you want lovers rock You feel the pressure drop, you want to It's your old pal, it's your boy, it's the oats It's my pleasure to be playing here for you this evening I'm here to let you know that I've got some songs to sing And before I gotta go He starts up and disrupts all your bitter ambition Oh I know it so well, you've got your head bowed down To the ground like a man on a mission Using to listen, door stays closed Unless you show them some written permission Hear them say it's starting When I first got a guitar Instead of getting an acoustic guitar Which is what I feel like most people start with They start with an acoustic guitar And they start by plugging out simple melodies I've always wanted to play electric guitar And I've always wanted to play loud And I've always been interested in trying to figure out How to make me and my electric guitar Sound as full as a full band I've always wanted to feel that full So that's part of the inspiration It's just been the rock bands and the punk bands That I was really into when I was younger And then the other inspiration The other kind of driving forces Storytelling, that's a big part of my life And plays out in the songs that I write as well I'm interested in telling stories And I want to use a kind of sound That's going to be as exciting as possible To tell the most engaging stories That I know how to tell Playful person, I like to play And I've always been interested in playing When I was a kid, I wanted to play As an adult, I wanted to play And this is how I know how to play You know, by getting to perform Not a lot of avenues for adults to continue to play As they get older, so this is You know, they call it playing music This is me getting to play And when I get to play, I get hyped up And I have energy, and I, you know I want to, you know, channel it into Putting on a good show for people I decided to be a songwriter Before I had written any songs Before there was any reason to suggest That this is a thing that I could do I was 15 years old, and I just decided This is who I am, this is what my identity is I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter I'm a songwriter That's what my identity is I'm a songwriter Have I written anything? No Do I know how to play guitar? Absolutely not Do I have any musical ability? Not as far as I know But I'm a songwriter, and not only that I'm one of the best That is what I decided first And then I had to figure out How to actually make good on that A very bold claim that I had made And it took a lot of trial and error And I think what it came down to In the process now still when I'm writing songs is Number one, you gotta like find a sound That resonates with how you feel You know, and you pick up the guitar And you start strumming And you say, okay, all right That chord progression, this tone That sounds the way that I feel Okay, let me dig into that a little bit further And then you find a couple words That suddenly fit that feeling And that guitar progression And suddenly it all comes together And then this metaphor of pulling the thread I mean, that's what it is You just keep pulling at it To see like, okay, what else is there? All right, that didn't work So let me keep pulling And see what else I can discover And I would say, yeah 15 was when I made that declaration 16, 17, that's when I first was able to Do something on a guitar Where I could say, oh, that's how I feel I am making sounds that sound the way I feel After every single album that I've made I feel like, well, that's it I'm done, I can't do this again I don't have it in me anymore That's it I don't know how I did it I don't know how I wrote those songs And I don't know how to do it again And I'm pretty sure that that's it I have nothing else to say at this point And it's, you know, yes Do I ever have times where I've run out of inspiration All of the time It's always a miracle When you can get it together to write one song And then when you can really start organizing Your practice enough So that you can get ten songs at a time And really start getting an album together That is a mysterious process And no two songs have been written the same way Not just for me, but I would say for any musician Everybody has their own path to find their way Into that song that they're trying to write And then once it's done, it's like It's like you've had this radio on That's getting a signal from other worlds Beaming straight to you And you're lucky when you capture the song And then that's it It's turned off and you don't know how you get it back again Last summer, I quit I officially quit last summer and was like That's it, I'm done I'm not doing this anymore I can't do it anymore I won't, I won't do it anymore And as far as I was concerned, I was done You have these little musical ideas These lyrics that come into your head This chorus and you're like Oh, but it'd be cool to be cool to record it That would be cool to have it be recorded That would be cool I don't need to put it out, just for me I don't, nobody needs to hear it And then as you start working on it You're like, I teeter between two extremes One is that this is the best stuff I've ever written This stuff is really good and it deserves to be heard And I gotta put it out And then the other extreme that I go to Just as quickly is I don't even know what I've made here I don't think it's music, it sucks And I, why do I do this? Why am I wasting my time at everyone else's time? This is the two poles that I vastly between It's like, I don't really get to choose that The songs are gonna keep happening anyways I'm gonna hear little bits of music in my head Always forever for the rest of my life And I can choose to ignore it But it's easier for me just to lean into it And let those songs come to the surface And actually write them and put them out Folks, I don't know when you're gonna be watching this I don't know where you're gonna be watching this My only hope is that you are watching this And whenever you're watching this It's important for me to tell you this Which is, my name is Yoni Gordon As you know The other thing, I'm putting out a new record It's called Courtship And this is a record that is about dating I know there's a lot of really good records about heartbreak And there's a lot of good records that are about new love Satisfying love, real love, true love There's not a lot of records that are about that thing That in between place of I don't know you but I could love you So I thought I should make a record about that And this is a song from that record It's a song that's called My Love I think you get the message I won't believe the poem I'm trying to express it Without reason, my voice Pretty tired of screaming Tired of seeing and making that choice And ignoring your feelings Pretending that you enjoy That is right, not enough It's time to wish that you had tried Places in it I think some people write music Because they find that process to be enjoying Just enjoyable, just to write And some people write because they want to have songs That they can go and record And for them, being in the studio is their thing For me, I write music and I record it So that I have new material to play on stage I consider myself to be a songwriter performer Performing is what I'm best at And that's the thing that I live for It's getting up on stage and figuring out How can I connect my songs to whoever Is willing to listen to me And how can I kind of find the show That's in the room and connect to it And bring it to life here In real time for everybody There's a point where you meet someone Maybe you go on a few dates Things seem like they're going well And then you can feel There's usually like a shift away And it happens You can only perceive it in the length of time That it takes for them to start to respond To your text messages That's where you start to really feel The cracks in the relationship And then there comes a point where you get A text message that sounds like it was written By that person's HR department Where they say something very formal to end it You know, after some careful consideration I've decided this is no longer the direction I'd like to move in I hope you find the connection you're looking for Sincerely And occasionally though Occasionally you get to be the one That tells that person so long So I thought I'd write a song That says roughly those words so long I took a shower just to clean my dirty I straightened up every loose end That I could find The clothes of man I saw the sun coming up And then I saw it's been enough Courtship sort of came about Born out of living through the pandemic You know, I think like a lot of people I was experiencing Isolation And loneliness And I didn't really want to write About those things as they relate to Living through a pandemic I didn't feel I didn't feel like that was going to be the most upbeat record to put out And also I didn't think it would be the most relatable either You know, eventually, hopefully Living under a pandemic is going to kind of fade into the rear view of our lives And that won't take up as much space But I still wanted to write about that loneliness And that isolation And I thought, okay, what's another topic That allows you to explore loneliness and isolation Dating, you know, that's just kind of where it went And I was doing a lot of dating as well Like leading up to the pandemic And then like a lot of people Suddenly was just incredibly alone When I didn't have my son in my house And it was just a very, very alone time And I wanted to figure out how to Explore that topic musically And started pulling from my own experiences dating Started pulling from stories That friends of mine had had, you know Through their trials and tribulations As adults dating And it also kind of That style of storytelling lent itself Really nicely to the kind of sounds That I wanted to make Which are a lot less rock driven sounds A lot less guitar driven And a lot more beat heavy and Drawing on top 40 stuff A lot of pop music influence That went into this record And, you know, if you listen to top 40 music It is taking, pop music is taking Everyday experiences And elevating them to high drama And dating is that It's this thing, everybody does it We all are alone people That butt up against each other To try to be less alone And then we go our separate ways We know each other for a little while Then we don't know each other anymore Then we ignore each other We're feelings are hurt Then we get over it We go to therapy We talk to friends We go out for drinks We meet people We have one night stands We have two night stands We hook up We have like ongoing things With people who don't give us enough Of the love and attention that we want And that happens all the time Everyday with so many people That's high drama You know, that's the stuff of high drama So I wanted to really elevate that To a place where it said Let's look at what it is to be dating To put yourself out there To be vulnerable And to try to know other people In the hopes that you can be less alone I think, well, so I think that I came to a conclusion That probably a lot of people who are much wiser Than me have already come to Which is this That if you're trying to be less alone And less lonely There's only one person that can make you feel less alone And they're not on Tinder And they're not on Bumble It's you You have to be able to get right with yourself Before you can get right with anybody else And that's ultimately where the record ends up As well, that's sort of the note That I try to resolve everything on That you can go out there You can try to be less alone With another person who's lonely But that's not going to necessarily Scratch the itch that you've got You've got to figure out how to get right within Before you can get right with another person The last song in the record Is called I Never Learned to Let Myself Be Loved And that's what that whole song is about You know, it's just about It is less about somebody being in love with you And it's more about allowing yourself To get to a place where you're able to Receive that love That you're a whole enough person To really be able to accept that love It's a hard thing to do You're lucky if you get it When you're a kid and your parents love you And you're lucky if you feel it then And then when you think about trying to Cultivate that with a stranger That you meet through a device on your phone That operates the same way That if you were trying to order a pizza Why would this technology ever Let you be less alone? I don't know how we've all come to think That this is going to work out for anybody And yet, sometimes it does, you know But not without, I believe Not without there being two people involved Who have done the work And are ready to, you know Really let themselves be known This never breaks No matter what I say You're leaving so soon Don't, you're leaving too much room So we say Our goodbyes Here's our tea Arms that care Just silence in the sky Brought through a great divide Between two seconds I would tell you If you want to follow me on the socials Go to Instagram Go to at Yoni Gordoni That's Y-O-N-I-G-O-R-D-O-N-I That's my handle Follow me there You can follow me on Spotify But I'll tell you this new record I'm not putting it on Spotify For at least three months After I've released the record Because I want people to pay me for it And they won't do that If it's on Spotify So as much as I want people to hear it I've decided to try to take a different approach To it this time Which is I'm using Kickstarter To do a pre-sale essentially for the record So if people want to hear it Then I really encourage them to go to my Kickstarter Which they can find the links on my socials And, you know, pre-pay for the record So that we can channel that money Into all the things that we need to pay for now Which is mixing and mastering And so, yeah, I would love And then if you're a patron of the arts And you want to find a way to support the arts And hopefully you feel like my voice Is important enough to be included In that bigger conversation Then donate more than just the album cost Donate $100 Give me $1,000 Give me $5,000 I'll take it I'll put it to use Some man is always out of reach Yeah, when death Mama goes on Just as long as the song gets stuck Somewhere deep in your head But you start to sweat it out But the new string of feed Was like a feverish stream You can't forget about Do every tragedy News coming in It was worse than I was imagining Take it I hear the song with the summer Starting to play Lower the shade I want to stay in my bed Every night in our day