 When you have a strong desire for healing, that really is a way of saying to the Holy Spirit, okay, I'm ready to allow my shadow to come up into awareness. And that's why in our community we have no private thoughts and no people pleasing. We want to encourage people when they're going through intense emotions generated from the shadow to not feel that they have to hot stuff it back down and push it out of awareness. And you know, the part of the ego training is to be polite. John was talking earlier, if he's not having a good day and somebody asks him how are you feeling, he would rather deal with what he's going through without involving other people. And yet, if you say I'm fine and you don't feel fine, then there's like a split in the mind. There's behaviors being controlled, almost like you're able to control the puppet and control what the puppet says and says I'm fine. So you can see where the politeness, I mean, polite is, it's really, you have to get a motivation for that. I think Jesus of being truly authentically kind, but also completely uncompromising. Like for example, I've always hearing people come to me and saying there's some stuff that Jesus said and did that I don't like. And they say, well, what is it? And they say, well, like that time when a man was saying, you know, I'm ready to follow you, but my father just died, I had to go back and bury my father. And Jesus said, let the dead bury the dead. And people don't like that. That was not polite. That was just rude. Jesus was just rude there. And yet, remember, this isn't a man speaking. This is eternal life speaking. You see, it's a different context. If that was a man, that's not polite at all. But the dead bury the dead. That's harsh. That's rude. But if this is eternal life speaking, then there's a different context. Let the dead bury the dead. In other words, the eternal life is putting out the escape hatch to be free of death completely, to raise you from the whole belief in death. And if eternal life is talking and you know it's eternal life, why would you tell eternal life, listen to eternal life. I'm coming to follow you, but I've got to handle one important thing. My dad died over here and I've got to go bury him. Eternal life, I'm not interested. Are you listening to me? Eternal life is saying there is no death. And this is like an excuse of not ready, not quite ready to go there. So I would say a lot of politeness, I say if it's learned to politeness, if it's part of the conditioning and everything, there's a lot of people pleasing that can be wrapped into that politeness. Whereas what we want to do is we want to be genuinely kind and genuinely helpful. There's another part in the Gospels where Jesus is kind of toward the end of his mission and he's going about his day. Remember this is metaphorically speaking, eternal life is going about its day. And one of the apostles, Peter, when Jesus is ready to go back to whatever Jerusalem or whatever, Peter stands in front of him and says, no Lord, I won't let you go. He's going to stop Jesus from, the script is written, eternal life is, this is the way the script is going for the whole universe. And here's Peter, no, I won't let you do it. I'm afraid to kill you if you do that. And what does Jesus say? Get deep behind me Satan, people like David that's not polite, that is harsh. This is one of the apostles, he's got no business talking to his buddy, Peter, with his get deep behind me Satan stuff. Well, it's eternal life speaking, eternal life is just like saying, listen, the script is written and it's going to play out in this appointed way and don't mess with this because this is the way that it needs to go, that's all he was saying. He really was quite kind, he was just laying it out and telling it like it is. So your question is how do we come in alignment with this when the shadow is going to come up? We want to allow the shadow up into awareness because we can't release it as long as it's pushed out of awareness. So that's very much, I mean that's what our whole community is about, the way we live. There's such an allowance for emotions to come up and it's good practice not taking it personally. That's what our expression sessions are about because when we constantly push things out of awareness we aren't aware of them and we need to get in touch with things. So in the parable of David, I mean I was like you, I was trying to be polite, kind, sweet and I was very, very disconnected with my emotions, extremely disconnected with my emotions. Much more as they would say in my head or in touch with just intellect but not with emotions like I had separate off that and that doesn't help with healing because the spirit has to use our emotions when we feel irritated, annoying, when we feel upset that has to be like a barometer, that's a gauge for us to know that there's some wrong-minded thinking and wrong-minded beliefs that are underneath there and when we've severed off our awareness of our emotions we can't really, the spirit can't use our emotions and you see we're out of touch. This happens a lot of times too when I'm in South America and I do these gatherings I invite everyone to come and it's like I went to Argentina and I invite everyone to come and it's like 96, 97% women at all my gatherings in Argentina. Okay, I invite everyone but you get 3% of the men that show up and 97% of the women and I go to Columbia and it's maybe like 93, 94% women. Well, what's going on there? Macho Man is going on there. Strong, silent, John Wayne type, all thinking, thinking, thinking up in the head so to speak and not in touch with emotions and people say but can that really keep you from waking up to God? Yes, it's just conditioning, it's just egoic conditioning to be completely out of touch with your emotions and to pretend that you're strong and silent when inside you've got all this up-churning but you're not ever getting in touch with it. So that's what I say, we really need to let the Holy Spirit use the emotions in a way to help us know when we're discerned when we're not in spiritual thinking and we're kind of getting caught up into this ego. People sometimes have trouble being around these people that are so in touch with their emotions but actually they feel like they're cursed but I tell them, it's a blessing you're in touch with your emotions and then all you have to do now is work with the Spirit to get in touch with what's underneath those emotions and it's much easier to do when you're in touch with your emotions than when you're not in touch with your emotions. When you're not in touch with your emotions there's major repression and major denial going on and you have to go through a whole phase of getting back in touch with your emotions.