 To love and receive love from someone is the greatest thing in the world. Love has inspired some of the greatest literature in human history, and acts of courage and bravery. Falling in love is an incredible feeling, but not many have had the chance to experience it. There's nothing wrong with that. Dating is pretty tough nowadays. The irony of it is that while it may seem easy to find love because of technology and apps, it's not that simple. It doesn't happen the way it happens in movies. Instantly. Love takes time. You might be saying, Ugh, I've waited for so long and tried so many times, I hear you. In some cases, finding love may require that you get to the root of why you can't find love. Clinical psychologist Roxy Zabari suggests beginning with what is causing you to miss out on love. Number one, you fall for unavailable people. Look through your dating history. What type of partners did you often fall for? How did the relationship go? If you notice that your past partners were detached, disinterested, did not meet your emotional needs, or wanted non-committal relationships, you might unconsciously be attracted to unavailable people. Pursuing a relationship with someone who does not want to be in a relationship is self-sabotage. I know you might not be actively seeking these relationships, but they find a way into your life. Unfortunately, the relationships you create as you get older have some links to the relationships you had with your parents or your attachment style. We've mentioned this in past articles, but your attachment style can influence the relationships you create. For example, if you developed an insecure attachment during childhood, you might find it difficult to create intimate connections with your partner. The psychotherapist Shaman Ajahn. But not to worry, with the help of a licensed counselor, you can change your attachment style. Additionally, your personality trait can make you more susceptible to falling for unavailable people. Those with the rescuer personality type are usually attracted to people with avoidant personality types. If you desire a lasting relationship, take some time to self-reflect on what the qualities are that you wish to have in a relationship. If it helps, make a list. A list might help remind you of what you consider acceptable in a relationship, and whenever you feel lost in a relationship, reach out to a professional for guidance. Number 2. You think you don't deserve it. Everyone is deserving of love. Everyone. However, there are times when you might feel like you don't deserve love. Usually the way you feel about yourself can influence your relationships. Psychologist Roxy Zabari explains it might be due to subconscious beliefs about yourself that you are not worthy of love. Feeling that you have to earn love, or it isn't real, or that others can't meet your needs, how you need them to. So if you don't feel worthy of love, ask yourself why. How do you feel about yourself that makes you believe you are not worthy of being loved? If you're struggling with self-confidence and self-esteem, reach out to a professional who can help you regain your self-esteem. Once you heal and deprogram yourself talk, you'll be able to receive the love that you deserve in your life. Number 3. You aren't putting yourself out there. According to the website Rides.com, another reason you may not find love is that you're not putting yourself out there. Love finds you if you're looking for it. We've been conditioned to believe that love magically waltzes into your life. It's a nice thought, but it's not reality. Finding and being in the relationship you deserve takes work. You have to go out of your usual zone and look for that person you want to be in a relationship with. The more people you meet and talk to, the higher your chances of meeting the one when you go out to find your person. Be clear on what you want and with who you are going to build that relationship. And remember, be open. That's the only way to build connections with people. Number 4. You're afraid of getting hurt. A bad breakup can leave lasting scars. In some cases it can even make you afraid of being in love. If a bad break has made you give up on love, you'll have to learn how to be vulnerable again. Sometimes we can be afraid to lose love, to experience a breakup, so we avoid it entirely. Or people allow others into their lives in small doses and in specific ways to avoid getting hurt. According to the dating truth on Medium.com. If you want a deep relationship, you'll have to get comfortable with vulnerability. Take the time you need to heal and reach out to a professional to help you. But hold on to your hope of finding love. Love will come someday. Number 5. You're choosing wrong. This might sound strange, but sometimes we choose relationships out of convenience rather than authenticity. This is not the same as choosing unavailable people, according to momjunction.com. If you can relate to regularly dating the wrong one, you need to try and understand yourself better. And the reasons why you're always setting yourself up to get hurt or disappointed. Choosing the wrong partner means choosing someone who you don't actually love, who you don't want to be with, but are in a relationship for whatever other reason that is not love, care, or interest. Sometimes there are exceptions, but these kinds of relationships don't entirely benefit either person involved. When you choose convenience over love, you miss out. You miss out on a relationship rooted in shared values, morals, and goals. The relationship may lack a strong foundation, and you miss out on the security that real love provides. If you decide to choose love, make sure to build your relationship on shared values, rather than favorable outcomes. Love is a mystery. It arrives when you least expect it, even though you've looked at it. For those who have not found love, don't lose hope. Just because you haven't found love yet doesn't mean you never will. You just have to be yourself and be patient. Let us know in the comments if you can relate to this, and share with others you think this might help. Until next time, take care, and remember, you matter.