 Lux presents Hollywood. Lux Radio Theatre brings you Joan Fontaine, George Brent and Don DeFore in The Affairs of Susan. Ladies and gentlemen, your guest producer, Mr. Mitchell Lysen. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. It's two days before Halloween, when almost anything can happen. So we're jumping the gun a little to introduce Miss Susan Darrell, to whom anything can happen and a lot of things do. Owing largely to her own capricious nature and the arrows of outrageous fortune. You meet her in Hal Wallace's production, The Affairs of Susan, a paramount picture, starring Joan Fontaine in what I think we can refer to as the title role, with George Brent and his rival suitor of our drama, Don DeFore as co-stars. All are cast in their original screen roles, in a merry-go-round story of a highly unpredictable woman and the four persistent men in love with her. Of Joan Fontaine, I had some vivid recollections from the last time I was on location with her. We were shooting a picture up near Albion in Northern California, where there was something of a housing shortage. Joan took a large house and proved a marvelous daytime hostess to our company. Not to be outdone, I made myself proprietor of the local inn, supplying room and board and doubling in the kitchen for the chef. Well, the result is I've developed a yen for whipping up special dishes with the slightest excuse. But all my friends realize that they want to spend a weekend on my boat. All they have to do is praise my cooking and they're sure of an invitation. However, I play safe, and I make sure there's a package of luxe flakes tucked in with the supplies. And no matter how much of a mess I make of the galley, Carl, my steward, just reaches for the luxe and grins happily as he plunges the dishes into a foaming, bubbling basin of luxe flakes. And speaking of plunging, let's plunge into the first act of the affairs of Susan, starring Joan Fontaine as Susan, George Brent as Roger Burton, and Don Defor as Mike Ward. It wouldn't be quite fair to describe Mr. Richard Aiken as stuffy, conservative as better, and in all his 40 highly conservative years, Mr. Aiken never has spent such an exciting day as this. Five hours ago, the radiant and celebrated actress, Miss Susan Darrell, agreed to marry him. And five minutes ago, he received a piece of news that quite naturally sent him rushing to the telephone. Hello? Susan Darling, the most wonderful things happened. Richard? Of course it's Richard. Oh, darling, I've been so worried rushing away from our party like that. Honey, it was the office, and where do I tell you? Susan, the president, had just appointed me regional coordinator of the National Aeronautical Bureau of Reconversion. Why, that's wonderful. And you know what? I have to go to the coast right away. Tonight. Tonight? For a week. And then I'll be stationed in Washington. What do you think about living in Washington? Well, I think... Oh, I knew you would. Just imagine. Here we are practically on our way to Los Angeles. We are? Richard, couldn't we wait until you get back from the coast and then maybe... Well, you're lovely, don't you, Susan? Oh, of course, Richard. What if I leave you here? But some of the people are still here from the cocktail party. I'll be right after you did, and so did Michael Ward. Oh. Did they upset you, Richard? But I keep telling you, dear, you really know so little about me. What have they got to do with my knowing you? Why did you get rid of those people and take a little nap if you can? I'm rich in my clothes. This is as long as you're already going to leave at 11 o'clock. Oh, I'm a very happy man, Susan. Goodbye, darling, and I'll see you soon. Come in. Look here, Aiken, what's this all about? I told you once what it was all about. The party this afternoon, the three of us told Aiken to call on us if we could be of any help to him. And you can be of help. Definitely. Oh, I'm very happy Mr. Burton was able to get a hold of you. What kind of help? Well, it's really very simple. Susan is about to become my wife. But I haven't known Susan very long. I haven't had time to, uh, well, to study her. And this afternoon, well, I'm afraid each one of you gave me an entirely different picture of my fiance. Oh, no, no, no. And so I invited you to dinner so you can tell me all you know about Susan. I want to know where you fail so I won't make the same mistakes. I don't see any dinner. It's already. You'll just step inside, gentlemen. Well, this is not... And now I'd like to propose a toast to my fiance, to Susan. But I wonder which Susan. Gentlemen, I'm a little upset. Now wait a minute, Aiken. If you think I'm going to sit here and blab my head off about Susan, you're nuts. Bill's right. I'm getting out of here too. Well, now please. I love Susan. And I thought you'd all want to see her happy too. Certainly. And the more he knows about Susan, the better chance he has. Oh, so you're going to pour your little heart out. I have to. Mike is evident to give him the impression that Susan is nothing but a party girl and you without... Yeah? Well, you must have convinced him that she's an intellectual or a brain trust. And I'll tell him about the real Susan. Well, Aiken, I might as well begin at the beginning. The Susan I first knew, the truthful, earthy, sincere Susan. Well, look, you fellows, are you going to go? Go. Yeah, come on, Mike. Now wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe I'd better listen to this. Matter of fact, I don't trust Roger either. Well, Aiken, when I first met your future branch, he was very young. I was fed up with Broadway. Everywhere I turned, there were a million would-be actresses. You see, I'm a producer. Oh, yes, yes. So I ran up to Rhode Island and took a little cabin on the most desolate spot I could find. But it wasn't desolate enough. An actress by the name of Monic Kent followed me up there. Ha! Shut up. But I outwitted her. I ran away. Well, that is, I rode away. Teared across the bay until I found an island. Had one house on it. And made a deal with the old man to put me up for a while. That evening, I found out that I wasn't as smart as I figured. All right, all right, come out of there. I'm talking to you. What are you doing there? I live here. Really? My name's Susan. Well, you're wasting your time. I came up here to read a play called Joan of Arc, which I probably won't produce anyhow. You understand? I'm afraid I don't. And why are you singing? Why does anybody sing? Because I'm happy, I guess. Happy? Where did you rent that costume? Well, these are my work paths. Well, you're not going to work it on me, see? You know who I am, don't you? The new boarder, Uncle Jemmy told me. You also know my name, don't you? No. Roger Bracken! Well, what are you not about? Furthermore, you know that I'm a well-known producer, don't you? What do you produce? Yeah. Are you trying to rip me? I produce plays. Oh, plays. What do you ever think I produced? Oh, something important, maybe? Weed or locomotives? You sure you didn't know who I am? No. You never saw my name in the papers? Oh, I never read the newspapers. Why not? Well, because they're full of murders and robberies and people who say awful things about one another. I like happy things. What do you find them? Oh, in books sometimes. And sometimes in plays, huh? No. No, I never read plays. Oh, come now. You'd like to be an actress, though, wouldn't you? I haven't time for such foolishness. Foolishness? A lot of people wearing makeup and pretending to be somebody they aren't. That's ridiculous. Well, now I've seen everything. You didn't know who I was, did you? No. Oh, that's right. You didn't know who I was. Well, you see, I'm kind of important. That is, I... Well, now I think I just might have a few clippings with me. Reviews of my last plays. Here, there. I'll read them after supper. Uncle Jimmy's coming. He might think you were crazy or something. Well, let's change the subject. You know, after supper, I thought I might climb those cliffs down to the shore. Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Why not? Well, don't you think you're too old to be climbing cliffs? Well, Aiken, that's how I met Susan Dowell. One night, about a week later, I was in the front room reading the script of Joan of Arc. Uncle Jimmy had gone to bed, and so had Susan. At least I thought she had. I was wondering if you'd do me a favor, Roger. What kind of a favor? Here, fix my clocks. Aren't you a little chilly? Oh, no, I'm fine. Well, what's the matter with the clock? It doesn't seem to know what time it is. See? Pardon me. Yes? Well, you're standing a little too close. You're in my light. Oh, I'll get around on the other side of your chair. Yeah, but I've... Never mind. Look, I can't fix clocks. I'm sorry, and you'd better go back to bed. Well, it's ticking now, see? But the hands won't move, they... Dad, you don't sit there. Oh. Oh, I didn't know you didn't like people to sit on the arm of your chair. Well, I don't. Uncle Jimmy loves to have me sit on the arm of his chair. Well, your uncle Jimmy's a very old man. I'm just old. Besides, it's your uncle. What do you mean by that? What do you... Oh, nothing, nothing. Well, if it's the clock that's making you so cross, just forget it. That clock isn't making me cross. I'd be cross without a clock. Why don't you go to bed? Why should people go to bed when they don't... Where are you going? Out to get some air. Please wait for me. Now, what do you want? Nothing. Well, I just thought I'd maybe help you get whatever is bothering you off your mind. But in your coat? Yes, sir. Doesn't it occur to you that I might be running away from you? But I thought you liked me. I do. But then why do you run away from me? I don't understand. I don't think you do at that. Explain, please. Now, now, look. You said you were going to help me get what was bothering me off my mind, didn't you? All right, then. Don't talk. Just walk. Don't say anything. No, not talking doesn't do any good either. It's, uh, it's pretty night, isn't it? Well, I never thought about the night as being pretty. Pretty isn't a big enough word for the night. It's beautiful and mysterious and magnificent. I see what you mean. A million voices calling out through a veil of tears. What's that? Oh, just a line that Joan of Arc was supposed to have said. You know about Joan of Arc? Mm-hmm. She listened to the voices of the stars and the trees and the night, and they called her a witch. That's right. But it's true. Trees do murmur. And the ocean roars and bellows when the tide comes in and whispers when it goes out. And they're saying things if only we'd listen. And you understand them? Well, of course. They're telling us to be kind and to be truthful and to be happy. Come on. Why? Where are we going? Never mind. Just come on. What have I done now? Roger, wait for me. What have I done now? I've been walking on the beach, Uncle Jenny. Here, Susan, here. Read this. You have, huh? Now, read it. There. There where it says Joan of Arc. It's a play script. And so you condemn to death the girl... Wait, wait, wait a minute. Now, look, you were Joan of Arc, and you're being burned at the stake. Landshake, what for? What for? Because she's a great savior, a brilliant woman, honest, and earthy and sincere. Because she's a saint. For goodness' sake. Yeah, for... Go ahead, Susan. And so you condemn to death the maid whose only fault was being true. The voices that I hear in the winds and in the trees and from the blue-blue sky are louder and clearer than all the rattling of your chains and the crackling of your fires. You think you'll kill me? You give me life. Keep talking for a woman you say when she's burning. Susan, you've got it. Got what? The voice, the quality, everything. I'm going to make an actress out of you. An actress? But I... I don't want to be an actress. Do you think I meet people like you every day? Oh, but actresses... Don't dog you with me. Well, don't shout at me. I don't want to be one. Oh, listen, you little idiot. I'm going to make you famous. A star on Broadway. I don't want to be a star on Broadway. Why, Sue, honey, it pays better in housekeeping. I don't want to be an actress. I don't want... Try it once again. And the voices that I hear in the wind and the trees and the blue-blue sky are louder and clearer to me than all the rattling of your chains and the crackling of your fires. You think you'll kill me? You give me life. Perfect. But, Roger, I don't want to be an actress. You're going to start that all over again. What do you want to be, stuck on this mud flat the rest of your life? It's not a mud flat. It's a beautiful island and I love it. Oh, instead of being a silly little country girl on your beautiful island, you're going to be a celebrated woman. Dozens of men will fight over you. Women will... Oh, I don't want that. Don't be ridiculous. Every woman likes to have men running after her. I've had that. I've had... What? I'm going back to my room and lock myself... Susan, I want to speak to you. Oh, Susan, please, open the door. What do you want? Well, I... I'm sorry I yelled at you. We've been rehearsing so much, and I suppose I... I'm a little on edge. Well, I'm sorry, too. Yeah, why? Why, you are so excited. You forgot to tell the truth. I did? Yeah, you said you had lots of men run after you. Well, that's true. Yeah, what? Well, last year, the Coast Guard anchored off here all day. They were all over the island. Oh, you're a charming child, Susan. I'm not a child. You've never been in love, have you? No. Well, I don't suppose you've ever had anybody in love with you either, have you? Yes. Yeah, you have? The mailman. Oh, well, that old geezer, why, he's old enough to be your grandfather. Oh, that's the new mailman. There was an old one, you know. The new mailman is old, but the old mailman is young. Oh, I see. And he was in love with you? Well, he said so. He was trying to kiss me all the time. Did you let him? Of course not. Why? Oh. Kind of silly. And he said I'd love it if I did. But I didn't. What's the matter? Uh, look, Susan, in a few days we'll be going to New York. I think I'd better tell you something right now. I, I'm in love with you, Susan. Oh, but of course. I love you too. Didn't you know that? No, no, no, I, I don't think you quite understand. I said I was in love with you. Well, is there any difference? Oh, quite a difference. I love football and tenderloin steaks, but I'm not in love with them. I'm in love with you. Well, that's what I meant, too. But how do you know? Well, I'm going to be an actress, am I not? And I didn't want to be, and I've learned all those speeches, and I've let you shout at me and bully me, and I did what you wanted me to, didn't I? Isn't that being in love? Yes, I guess it is. Will you marry me, Susan? I certainly will. Tell me, do you think it would be silly if I kissed you? Well, I'd have to try it first. Well, what's the verdict? That's nice. Well, that's very nice. In fact, now I'm sorry about the mailman. Yeah. Our stars return with act two of the affairs of Susan. I want to welcome back to the Lux Radio Theater a personal friend and one of the most important figures on the Paramount lot. She deals in figures of a very special kind. Miss Edith Head, the first woman to be head designer for a major studio. Miss Head was responsible for those exciting clothes in Masquerade in Mexico, the latest picture I directed for Paramount. And it was one of the biggest jobs I ever handled, Mr. Lisen, but I loved it. I had a chance to design so many different kinds of things, port clothes and bathing suits as well as glamorous evening gowns. And you did a superb job on those costumes for the Mexican ballet. Well, Mexico is a real inspiration for costume design. Edith, what kind of fabrics were they made of anyhow? Oh, mostly cotton and linen. But how did you keep them so fresh? Some of those scenes took a lot of time to film. Oh, Lux took care of that. Most of them were washed every night. After the day shooting, the wardrobe grocers round them up, lux them and press them. Next morning, we'd look as lovely as ever. You know I never detected any change. Of course not. Lux's wonderfully kind of fabrics and colors stay lovely longer. Isn't that so, Mr. Kennedy? You have laboratory tests to back you up, Miss Ed. They show Lux's care keeps colors lovely up to three times as long. We found at Paramount that true. We won't risk strong silk. In designing clothes for the stars, I suppose you study their figures as carefully as it directed does their best camera angles. But if a star has an unusually good feature, I play that up. Dorothy Lamour has a naturally slender waist. So I accented that in the clothes I designed for her in Masquerade in Mexico. Well, you certainly made her as lovely as a Latin as you did in a salon. But she has more changes of costume. Equally Luxible? That's right, Mr. Kennedy. At Paramount, we depend on Lux for everything safe in water. A thrifty rule for women everywhere. Strong soap, hot water, and rough handling soon fade colors, make them drab and old-looking. So trust pretty colors to gentle Lux if you keep them new-looking longer. Here's Mitchell Lysen, our guest producer. Act two of the affairs of Susan, starring Joan Fontaine as the lady in question, George Brent as Roger Burton, and Don DeFore as Mike Ward. So Richard Aiken wanted to find out about his bride-to-be, did he? Well, Richard Aiken is finding out plenty. His source of information continues to be Roger Burton. Now, let's see. Where was I? She kissed you. Susan kissed you. Yes, Richard. Oh, and then she married me and came to Broadway. Okay. You finished? Oh, wait a minute, Anthony. I'm the one who comes in next. Now, relax, both of you. I haven't told Aiken the good part yet. You haven't? No. The night Joan of Arc opened, who should barge into Susan's dressing room but Mona can't? You remember Mona? The blonde gazelle who chased me all the way to Rhode Island? Oh, Mona was very sweet to Susan. Even brought her a pint of brandy. Mona always said there was nothing like a little brandy to settle the nerves. By curtain time, Susan would never taste anything stronger than clam juice with piyides. Well, we managed to hold the audience and, thanks to a doctor and a quart of black coffee, she finally got ready to go on a date. Oh, Roger. I'm all right now, really, I am. Oh, how could you fall for a trick like that? Couldn't you see what Mona was up to? But she said that you would send her. Oh, boy, I'll fix her if it's the last thing I do. She'll never get another job on Broadway. She won't even be able to carry a spear. We're waiting, Miss Powell. Good luck, darling. Thank you. Susan was the greatest Joan of Arc the stage has ever seen. Yes, Aiken, that's what all the critics said. But I lost my shirt. That season, everybody wanted to see musicals. Still, I would have gotten most of my dough back if Susan hadn't run into a couple of reporters. But I only told them what you told me, Roger. I distinctly remember you saying that we hadn't taken in enough money to pay the ushers. Oh, but you didn't tell that to the reporters you couldn't have. And that it's a fine play but nobody wants to see it. Was that wrong? Wrong. Why, you've only wrecked every chance I ever had of getting any new money for the play and to keep the play going. Darling, won't you please stop being so outspoken? You've got to adapt yourself. I'm sorry, Roger. I'll try to remember. Well, a month later, I found a gentleman with a lot of money and an interest in the theater. His name was Donald H. Cusp. And he promised to back my new show. So I threw a dinner party. Life, however, is full of little surprises. And guess who Mr. Cusp brought to our dinner party? That's right, Miss Mona Kent. Oh, Mr. Cusp, I didn't even know that you knew Mona. Well, I hear Mona and I are old friends. And just think, Roger, Donald and I are engaged. Eww. Engaged? To be married? But of course. Oh, where's Susan? Oh, well, she's around somewhere. Shall we go inside? Just a second, Roger. Love both. Yes, sweetie pie. Let's ask Roger right away. Roger, we've been hoping that possibly you could find a small part for me in the new play. Oh, sure, Mona. Because I think I'm a little old for the lead. Oh, nonsense. Well, of course you're not too old. And that's settlement. She plays the lead, right, Mr. Benton? Certainly. I had you in mind all the time. Oh, Mona, will you introduce Mr. Cusp to all the people, huh? I'll go and get you a drink. Oh, hello, Mrs. Oakley. Well, Roger's been looking all over for you, dear. Oh, he'll find me. I'm being very good at not saying... Oh. What's the matter, dear? Your diet hasn't helped you a bit, has it? I've lost over two pounds. You have, really? Well, you don't look at it. Why, Susan? And what are you doing here? Oh, you'll find out, darling. Roger's just given me the lead in this new show. But you're crazy. Roger wouldn't even let you carry a spear. Susan! Susan! I've been looking all over for you. Oh, this is Mr. Cusp, dear. How do you do, Mr. Cusp? You remember my speaking about Mr. Cusp, don't you, dear? Mr. Cusp is also a friend of Miss Kent. In fact, Miss Kent has engaged to Mr. Cusp, which I think is called for congratulations. And, of course, you remember Miss Kent, dear? Yes, I have met Miss Kent, and I'd rather not have met Miss Kent again. Oh, don't you mind my wife, Mr. Cusp. Just a river at heart. You're only being polite to her only because she's in our house. Isn't that true, Roger? Well, I haven't learned that lesson yet, so will you please get out, Miss Kent? Susan! I'm afraid I don't understand all this Broadway humor at all. You look like a very nice little man, Mr. Cusp. If I were you, I wouldn't have anything to do with Miss Kent. She's not a very nice person. This is an outrage. Let's get out of here. Okay, but let me tell you something, sweetheart. I'm not even listening. That precious husband of yours would get down on his knees to have me do this show, but he won't have to, because there isn't going to be any show. Come on, loveboats. But I just couldn't help it, Roger. I was only telling the truth. Oh, the truth. Who told you to tell the truth all the time? It just isn't civilized. Look what you did tonight. You made me lose a man with $50,000, and everybody in New York will be laughing at me. I guess you're telling me that I'm pretty stupid, I guess. That's what you're saying, isn't it, Roger? Well, you wonder that way. Yes. Well, I guess we both made a mistake. Maybe we did. I know I did. I loved you because you were decent and honest, but I also thought you were human. I'm human, Roger. You're too perfect to be human. You're like a goddess. Well, you can love a goddess, and maybe you can live with one on Olympus, but not on 74th Street. Oh, what do you mean, poor Susan? Well, they're Susan's fiancé. You keep out of this. You make the whole thing look as if it was all my fault, even the divorce. It was your fault. After knowing you, that poor little kid was afraid to tell the truth. Oh, Mike, you're a cluck of pigeon. You haven't changed since the night you wanted to the Mayfair bar fresh from Montana. The bank roll is as big as a cabbage and an accent like the Lone Ranger. The minute I saw you, I knew I'd found a new backer. I'd scarcely call that ethical, Mr. Birkin. Oh, go on, Mike loved it. He ate it up. When I invited him to my office the next day to help me cast it on a chorus girl, he almost swooned. And while we were waiting for the girl, someone else walked in. Production. Just one moment, please. I'll see you. Birkin, production. Hello, Tommy. Mr. Birkin doing any casting today? I'm sorry. You'll have to come back in a... Well, I didn't even recognize you, Mr. Arrow. Oh, these clothes, they are a little gay, aren't they? You haven't changed in months. I just got in from Reno this morning. Oh, I was sorry to hear about that. Of course you were. Do you think I could see Mr. Birkin for a minute? Why should I...? Oh, well, as a matter of fact, he's pretty busy. He's got a new angel, name of Ward. The boss is kind of pouring it on, and... Well, you know how you are, Mr. Arrow. There is no time for the truth. I suppose I was a pretty little stupid, pretty stupid little girl, wasn't I? Mr. Saunders, where's the girl from the band's dancing academy? Oh, yes. Well, I'll just a minute. Perhaps you can drop back later, Mr. Arrow? Well, I guess I could. Is that their girl? Yes. The girls are here, Mr. Burton. And the men. This way, girls. Line up, girls. Line up. Let's see what your legs look like. Snap it up. Pardon me a second, Mr. Ward. Take your time. This is swell. This is like a flower shop. Okay, what's your name? Alassandro's. Okay, and you? Elder Hughes. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Your name? Hello. Oh, Susan. Oh, hey. Tommy. Yeah, yeah. Say, how does she get out? The rest of the girls are all right. Get them out of here. That's all, girls. Thank you very much. Okay, kids. Okay. Out you go. Out you go. Susan, come on up in the other office. I want to talk to you. Oh, first I want to meet Mr. Ward. What do you think you're doing? Adapting myself. Well, if he won't introduce us, Mr. Ward, I guess I'll have... Yeah, Mr. Ward, this is Mrs. Susan Daryl, a very splendid actress. How do you do? Yeah, now, if you don't mind... Don't interrupt me, sweetie pie. I think it's awfully important for the producer and the leading lady to be good friends, don't you, Mr. Ward? Well, yes, I guess so. Now look, now look, Susan, I don't know what you're up to, but there's no part in this show for you. And for the more, Mr. Ward is just contemplating taking an interest. He hasn't taken it yet. Oh, don't be silly, Roger. If I do the play, you'd want to be in on it, wouldn't you? Well... Oh, gosh. You mean you'd take a chance on me? Oh, I sure would, Miss... Susan. Roger, wherever did you get this wonderful man? He's a regular old love phone. Listen, Susan, I told you there's nothing in the show for you. But you said I was the perfect actress for the part. When did I say that? The other day on your yacht. Yacht? I haven't even got a yacht. Oh, don't mind him, Mike. He's just a river at heart. Now, why don't you and I run out and have some lunch? Say, that'll be fine. I'll have him back by three o'clock. Roger, is that all right? Oh, that's just ducky. Bye, loveboat. Well, I guess I saw Susan every day for the next five weeks while Roger was getting his new show together. Then one night, while we were sitting in one of those nightclubs... Happy, Mike? Happy. Oh, I'm happy as a chipmunk on a chinkapin log. Susan, honey, there's something I just got to tell you. Oh, Mike, darling, I know what you want to say. Well, for Kyle's sake, then help me say it. If I were going to marry anybody, it'd be you, Mike. But as long as... Oh, Susan. Hey, Mike. Oh, hello, Roger. Mind if I dance with Susan? Well, we were just talking about something, but of course, Susan would like to dance. I'll be right back, Mike. Facing all over town till all hours of the morning, what do you think you're fooling? Not you? Certainly not me. You're no glamour girl, and you know it. So why don't you stop pretending? Maybe I'm not pretending. Maybe I was pretending when I was that simple little country girl. Did you ever think of that? Now, Susan, if you think you're going to make me jealous... Make you jealous? Why, you egotistical, let go of me. Come on. I want to dance. Poor Mike. Poor Mike. Did it ever occur to you that I might be in love with poor Mike? Yes. And when I did, I stood up half the night laughing. That Mike interests you to know that he was proposing to me just now. You wouldn't marry him, and you know it. Oh, I wouldn't. No, you wouldn't, because you're still in love with me. Well, that doesn't... Oh, now, Susan. Susan, where are you going? You're made. Well, tell Nancy to let you out again. She can't. Nancy's gone to the market. I want to talk to you. Sorry, I'm dressing. At 12 noon? Now, Susan, look. I've been up all night thinking about us. I can't hear you. I say I've been up all night. Well, go to... Susan, maybe we've made a big mistake. You see, I... What? I say we've made a big... Oh, wait till I answer that infernal door. The horses, I'm coming. Oh, hi, Roger. Oh, hello, Mike. Oh, hey, what's the idea of the bag? I'm catching the four o'clock train back to Montana. Oh, going home, eh? Well, I suppose it's all for the best. Oh, well, I'm coming back next week. Yeah, give me a hat. Sure. I'm selling out my business, and then we're going to be married. Oh, didn't Susan tell you? Good morning, my darling. Oh, Susan, honey. Mike, you break my ribs. Now then, Roger, what were you screaming at me through that door? Who made a mistake? Oh, nothing. I guess I did. Mike, why don't you run into the kitchen and whip up some of those special scrambled eggs? I'm starved. Hey, that's a good idea. Boy, that's one thing I can cook scrambled eggs. Look at it. Look at it. He's not walking. He's floating. Well, I'm glad he's so happy. He's not happy. He's hypnotized. Adapt yourself, he said. Adapt yourself. Yeah, well, you didn't adapt yourself. You just went to the other extreme. You took a shrinking little violet and painted and perfumed until there's nothing left but a complete phony. The violet's gone with it. I guess you're right. I'm a fool. You hate me, don't you? Oh, no, no. Don't get yourself all worked up. But you do. You do. Everybody hates me. Maybe I am dishonest, but I did it only to hold Mike and not losing the way I lost him. No, no, Susan, please. I just mean to take it. Oh, no. Come here. No, no. Put your head here on my shoulder. All right? Yeah, just say the script is... Oh, Mike, you haven't got the eggs done already. I couldn't find the butter. Oh. Well, it's in the icebox. Yeah, well, I guess I better be going. It's long, everybody. It seems an awful big hurry, doesn't it? Dennis, though, I don't like him. Always hanging around and... Hey, have you been crying? Oh, no. No, it's nothing. Is there something he's done? No. Well, he only said that... What? That his brother just passed away. I felt so sorry for him that's why I'm crying. Oh, well. Oh, my gosh. Come to the end of the trail, huh? Well, that's life. Death. Yeah. What'd you say the butter was? In the icebox. Mike, I feel awful. I think I'll go lie down for a while. Okay, honey. You go lie down now, and I'll take a walk around the block. That's you, are you back? I'll restore. You'll restore, Nancy. Yes, it's for you. Oh, open it up. You're gonna say who sent it? Nancy. It's a clip. But no card. That's strange. They're violets, huh? Golden diamond violets. Violets? He sent it. Mr. Burton sent it. There's no card. If they're violets, he sent it. Maybe they're Johnny Jumper. Oh, don't be silly. They're violets, and it all ties up. Oh. So he thinks he can melt me with a present. Call another messenger and have it delivered right away to Mr. Burton. Yes, ma'am. That'll teach him all right. Susan. Susan. I'm back. How do you feel? Oh, my God. I'm much better now. Oh, God. Well, I've been for a walk, and guess where I've been? The field restore. Mine? I told him to send him with that little thingamajig. I thought maybe you might like it. Thingamajig? Yeah. It's sort of a pin. The fellow said it was a forget-me-not. Forget-me-not? I'll be here any minute. Hmm. Honey, what's the matter? You act like you're gonna faint. I'll feel as if I'm gonna faint. Well, maybe you're just hungry. Oh, that's it. I'm hungry. Well, I'll take care of that right away. I'm coming up. Nancy? Yes, ma'am. Come here. What? I thought they were forget-me-not. I don't believe it. I followed you. The clip. Mr. Ward sent it. Mr. Ward? Now listen very carefully. He mustn't know a thing about it until I can get it back from Mr. Burton. Yes, ma'am. But isn't Mr. Ward here? Scrambling eggs. Again? No, not again. Just scrambling eggs. Go in there and keep them busy till I get back. Goodbye. Come in. Come in. Roger, I'm afraid we're in a little trouble. Well, if there's anything to do with this clip you just sent over there. Now have it, Roger, please. Sure. Thank you. What are you going to do now? Send it back to the jewelers. If you'll let me use your phone. Isn't it just as simple as a take-at-home? No. Too simple. I'll have to call the jewelry store first and explain to them and then they'll have to get another messenger. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's fine. Oh, boy. Thank you, ma'am. Mr. Burton would like you to take this to Giddensmith Avenue. You better take a cab. Roger, may I have some money, please? Gee, this is fun, isn't it? Thanks. Here you are. And you may keep the chain. All right, ladies. Now what? I'm going back to my apartment, of course, and receive a very lovely gift from a very thoughtful man. Would you mind telling me first what this rigmarole is all about? Mike's there. I want to receive it in his presence. I suppose Mike isn't there. Oh, he'll be there. The old there was scrambling eggs when I left. He was scrambling eggs when I left. What is this? A career? Who is it? It's me, both. Oh, the eggs are done. Oh, he'll kill me if he finds out I'm here. I didn't tell her. I've killed you. Get rid of him quick. Where are you going? I'll just run inside here until he's gone. Hmm. Coming, Mike. Hello, Roger. Well, I, I know all about it. You do? Yeah. Pretty tough, partner. What? Death. Death? How old was she? Oh, yeah. I'm the same way. I have a tough time remembering how old my brothers are, too. Probably just in the prime of life, huh? Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Prime of life. Only brother? Yeah. Yeah. Poor old Albert. I can remember. I was only yesterday. Mike. What are you looking at? That's a nice mirror on your wall, Roger. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Glad you were... Susan reflection in the mirror, isn't it? Well, take a look. Well, it's just a similar knot. Well, then take a look at me. Yes, Mike. Oh. All the way forward to bedroom. All clear. You can come out. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Joan Fontaine, George Brent and Don DeFore return in the moment for the last act of the affairs of Susan. What were you doing today, Libby? Stargazing. In the daytime? I was over at Paramount last week and saw Veronica Lace. I'd like that kind of stargazing. Oh, she was looking wonderful in preparation for the big event you read about. She just asked for a fishing trip with her husband. A vacation? Yes, and my latest picture holds that blonde. And I don't wonder. So strenuous, all full of cops and robbers and cases. A mystery? Yes, and a hilarious one. She and Eddie Bracken get mixed up in all sorts of funny complications. Oh, a quiet little fishing trip was quite a change, huh? That's right. Veronica and her husband have a cunning little cabin up in the Northwood. Were they rough it? Including during their own housework. Imagine Veronica doing the dishes. A pretty sight, I imagine. When she told me she did, I sort of sneak a look at her hands. She caught me doing it, and then she laughed and said, Uh, looking for this panhandle? Oh, you were embarrassed, huh? Oh, I just laughed and said, Well, I don't see any sign of them. Maybe it's luck. And then she told me she always dodged these lucks up there for her dishes. That's because it takes such good care of her hands. So when a movie star turns homemaker, she's just like other women. Oh, yes. No woman wants her hands to look rough and unattractive. And she needn't, with gentle, frifty lucks flakes. The difference it makes in your hands is really amazing. Why, even if strong soaps have left them very red and rough, simply changing to lucks will take that red look away. Quickly, too. A great many tests have proved this. And yet it costs so little to use lucks for dishes, Mr. Kennedy. Because lucks goes further. There's up to twice as many dishes ounce per ounce as others soaps tested. Remember, it's thrifty lucks for lovely hands. Here's Mitchell Licen at the microphone. After the play, be sure to join us for a brief chat with tonight's stars and an important announcement for next week. Meanwhile, here's act three of the affairs of Susan, starring Joan Fontaine as Susan, George Brant as Roger, and Don Deforre as Mike. Two down and one to go. Roger Burton has related his chapter in the affairs of Susan. Mike Ward has just finished his account, and now, more confused than ever, Richard Aitken, the bridegroom-to-be, directs a rather warm expression toward Bill Anthony. Well, late dinner after that childish episode and Burton's apartment, Mike here went galloping back to Montana. Yeah, but it couldn't stand it, though. Came right back to New York. But Susan had no part of him, naturally. Well, not for a while, maybe. But one day I got a message that Susan wanted to see me. Well, boy, I was up in the clouds again. I got the same message about the same time as Burton. Just a minute, Burton. Well, when I got to her apartment... Shut up! ...of my story to be told, I'll tell it my own way. Susan entered my life, Aitken. About the time my new book had been published, Man Has a Mission. But, of course, you've read it. No, I don't think I have. Can't you read? Well, I'm sorry. I don't apologize. Anyway, I was in a bookstore, and I heard Susan inquire about a book on marriage. I felt it my duty to take her aside. So, is that how you feel? Yes, I'm not against the institution of marriage, but... You just don't believe in it. Well, I don't know. As I said, so often the wrong people marry and so rarely the right people. Are you married? No. But suppose, for instance, I found in you exactly the right person to meet a love. And you felt the same way. We'd fall in love, beautiful. But what do we do to retain that love? Well, in the first place... Nothing. That's the trouble. The exquisite beauty of the courtship vanishes completely. What's your name, anyway? William Anthony. Oh. I thought you sounded like something I'd read. Did you like my book? Well, yes, I think I did. Thank you, Miss Daryl. Oh, you know who I am. I saw you in June of art. Did you like it? I thought it stank. Are you always so truthful? Oh, I'm seldom truthful. But I'm always honest. There's a difference. Well, of course. Truth can be destructive. But honesty is always kind. Truth can be true. Oh, Mr. Wad, come in. My goodness, it's been a long time. Well, hello, Nancy. Miss Daryl, where did she want to see me? How is she, anyhow? I really can't say. Oh, she's not sick. Is she sure? But now she's funny. She's a change. Oh, it's Michael. Hi. Hello. So glad to see you again, Michael. Well, sure as hell, what's the matter with you? Is something the matter with me? Oh, guys, I'm dumb. But seeing you in that suit and those woman's stockings in your hair plastered back in the eyeglasses, well, I thought you must be rehearsing for a play. I am not rehearsing for a play, Michael. Oh, here, I brought you some flowers. That's sweet, but you shouldn't have done it. Oh, it wasn't anything. I didn't mean it that way. Flowers should never be picked. Well, I didn't pick them. I got them at the florist. Excuse me. Oh, pardon me, sir. I thought this was Miss Daryl's apartment. Oh, Susan! Come in, Roger. Oh, hello, Mike. Oh, Roger. Hey, would you get a load of her? What do you made up for, Susan, the mannaker? External appearances have no bearing on internal harmony. Meaning? Meaning that I've changed a great deal since I last saw you two. You certainly have. I used to dress frivolously. Now I realize I was dressing only to attract men. That was truthful, but it wasn't honest. Hmm? When a woman dresses to appeal to all men, that's not honest. Oh. Just truthful. But when she dresses to appeal to only one man, that's not truthful, but it's honest. Do you understand? No. You understand, don't you, Mike? Oh, oh, sure, sure. Who's the man? What man? The man you're dressing honestly for, it won't be truthful. Oh. Well, he's the reason I've asked you and Mike to come here. His new book would make an excellent play, brave, courageous, intelligent, and I feel it's only fair to give you two the first opportunity of financing and producing it. Naturally, I will play the lead. Here is the book. Man has a mission by William Anthony. Yes. Give me a ring after you've read it, gentlemen. Good day. Susan, over here. Hello, William. Yeah. I ordered a drink for you. Well, what'd they say? Burton and Ward. They're very interested. Good. Sixteen St. Esteele Twinscrew Cruises. What did you say? Sixteen St. Esteele Twinscrew Cruises. It's a little test I make when I drink alcohol. I've already had a couple. But what about the sixteen? Well, as long as I can say it, I know I'm all right. Well, I should think so. I couldn't say it in the first place. You see, alcohol affects me most peculiarly. I get too much. Who's all restrained? I agree with everybody. Really? All I can say is yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Don't people take advantage of you? No, that's why I'm so cautious. Susan. Look. Mm-hmm. That couple over there on the corner kissing. Poor children. They know of no other form of expressing their simple inclination. That's pathetic. However, there's a possibility that under certain conditions, a kiss might be a catalytic agent of a higher spiritual communion. No, I suppose so. But our relationship is on such a high, a serial plane we can discard such primitive method. Well, before we do, maybe we should prove it. All right. Give me a kiss. Do you feel any different? Yes. Yes, I think I do. Me too. My plane's much higher. I think I just passed the moon. I hear celestial hearts playing rock-mononoff prelude. Waiter. A couple of more drinks. 16, standard squints, 70. Dance along, waiter. Just a check. Where are we going? How about dinner? My apartment? Your apartment? Susan. You're not afraid, are you? Why should I be afraid? Good. Look, you run on home and give me about an hour. You've never tasted my cooking. Stay. You should see me with a steak. I brought it on the platform. My name's Ward. It's Mike Ward. Ah, how do you do? Well, I see you've got my book with you. Yeah, and I just finished it. You don't believe in marriage, huh? Listen, Susan's a very nice girl. And she's going to stay that way, partner, if I have to poke you in the nose. Now, now, wait a minute. I think you've got me all wrong. Now, look at this room. All set for a little red riding, huh? No, no, no. Even gardenia's by her dinner plate. Well, you don't think Susan's coming here, do you? Yeah. But that's ridiculous. Open the door. There's nobody there. They're always buzzing the bell. Kids, you know. They like to ring bells. Open the door. All right. Roger. Hello, Mike. Hello, Anthony. Oh, am I glad to see you. I didn't know you two knew each other. Well, of course I knew him. I was expecting him. Wasn't I? Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's cooking? The steaks. Sorry, Mr. Ward, but there isn't enough for you. Come in the kitchen, Roger. I want to show them to you. Pardon me for not showing you off, Mr. Ward. I don't quite get this. Look, you're Mr. Burton, aren't you? I thought you were. Look, will you help me get rid of that guy? I'm afraid he'll make trouble when he finds out Susan's coming here. Well, how did you know she was coming here? Her maid. Look, I can explain everything. You're a sensible man. But that, look, out there, where he's on for murder. Is that Susan? Oh, it must be. Oh, help me, will you? Hey, somebody's up the door. Is this kitchen door leading to the hall? Yeah, yeah. Okay, keep your shirt on. I'll install a buffalo bill for a while. Hey, you want I should answer it? I beg your pardon, Mr. Ward. Do you say something? There's somebody at the door. Oh, nonsense. And now, look, are you going to start this all over again? What over again? The door. Well, you're hearing things. Go open it and see. I will. Hey, you see? Nobody. Well, I'll be doggone. I'm sure I saw somebody. Sorry, I had to gag you, Susan. You may talk now. Will you kindly tell me the meaning of this? I'm trying to avert a tragedy. What? I can't tell you here in the hall. Walk around the block and I'll explain everything. You better have that, sir. You better have. No, no, no. The answer is a part of Michael the Murderer's time. I'd appreciate it very much if you and Michael get it into your head that I'm a full grown and in my right mind. Anyone who doesn't realize that Anthony Guy is a phony just hasn't got a mind. Bill Anthony happens to be one of the most brilliant men in the whole country. He's a stinker. You think he's in love with it. Well, why shouldn't he be? Has he ever mentioned the word marriage? Well, we just haven't got to it yet. Oh, and you never will. He wouldn't marry you if you were the wife of... Oh, he wouldn't, Tom. No, he wouldn't, huh? Ask him. You wouldn't happen to be jealous, would you, Mr. Burton? Please. But I know that's why you're hanging around him to make me jealous. Is that what you think? Why, you conceited overbearing, arrogant, contemptible. You ask for this, Roger. Oh, you little... there. Oh! Oh! Susan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slap you. Please! Oh, no. Susan, Susan. I said I was sorry. Please. Help me! Please! Please! Good night, madam. Oh! Oh, please! Help me! Well, all that was going on in the street. I was upstairs with Mike here. A couple of minutes of phone rang with Susan. I escaped through the kitchen door and met her. I must have had a few cocktails because that's all I remember the next two hours. And I came too. I was in Susan's car and she was driving somewhere in the country. Do you feel better now, darling? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Bill, I want to ask you just one question. Yes, sir. Do you... do you love me enough to marry me? Yes, sir. You're sure? Yes, sir. Well, he's somewhere down this road, the justice of the two. Yes, sir. You're sure you know what you're doing? Yes, sir. Oh, no. I can't. I can't. Oh, Bill, you poor, trusting idiot. You don't want to get married. You just want to get sober. We're turning around, Bill. That's how Susan and I didn't get married. Frankly, I'm sorry she didn't take advantage of me. Mr. Burton, Mr. Ward, Mr. Anthony. Thank you very much. I feel that with the aid of this very informative discussion, I shall be able to carry out my program with maximum efficiency. Program? Susan and I are leaving on the midnight plane tonight. Tonight? We'll be married at my mother's home in Pasadena. Pasadena? That's me. Well, good night. I better be heading along now. Yeah, yeah, me too. Gentlemen, where are you going? Get out of my way. Hold that elevator! Wait! Wait! Oh, good evening, Nancy. Will you please tell Ms. Darrell I'm here? I'm sorry, but she isn't in, Mr. Anthony. She isn't in? Where is she? Well, maybe this is Susan. Hello, Nancy. I want to see Ms. Darrell. She isn't in. Who says she's not in? She does. The maid. Where's Susan? She called a little while ago. She'll be here in a minute. Oh. The Oakley. She finally decided to have dinner with you. Now, see here, gentlemen. Darrell and I are engaged to be married. The place is busier than a meat market. Susan! Oh, Susan, darling. Oh, what is this? A family reunion? And I'm afraid it was my fault. He invited us to dinner. To pump us about you. Well, I wanted to find out where they were wrong, so I wouldn't make the same mistakes. You understand? Oh, oh, Susan, honey. I misjudged you. Of course, too late. Won't you give me another try? Why, Mike, you're proposing. Yeah. And I'm proposing too. Oh, not you, Bill. Yes, dear. I've discovered you're worth more than all my theories. Now, I'm doing all right. You don't know what this means to a woman of my age. Give them their answers quickly, Susan. We've got to hurry to the airport. Oh, yes. Well, Mike, darling, no. I see. And Bill? Yeah. No, Bill. But I want you to know how flattered I am. Well, isn't there a delegate missing? Well, from what he's told us of your battles, you could hardly expect Roger to be... No. I guess I couldn't, could I? Dear, I hate to rush you, but I'll claim. Excuse me, gentlemen, Richard is right. Oh, I'll be in my room, Richard. Yes, of course. Well, good night, gentlemen. Thank you very much. Good night. What am I going to do? Oh, what am I going to do now? Why didn't he come? Who does he think he... Nancy? Oh. Is that... What are you doing in my room? Well, I had a hunch the living room was going to be a bit crowded. What do you want? To talk to you. About another play, I suppose. Well, yes. I thought we could go up to Uncle Jimmy's and rehearse like we did that very first time. We could get married on the way up there. And what makes you think I'd ever marry you again? Roger still loved me. What about... What about Mike and... And Bill and... And the stuffed shirt? Well, just a phase of your development. The trouble with you was you never kissed the mailman. I guess some of it was my fault, too. I waited a long time to hear you say that, Roger. Oh, what do you say? Why wouldn't Larry, you, if you were... Come in? Susan, you will have to... What goes on here? Everywhere I go, men crawling out of the woodwork. Richard, I think there's something you ought to know. We couldn't make a go of it. Well, I was afraid of that, but I was hoping you wouldn't find out. Oh, Mother will be terribly disappointed. So, goodbye, Richard. Goodbye, Susan. Well, that settles that. Now, I've got to unpack these bags. Why? Well, you can't crop Uncle Jimmy's dress until you're going to California. Get those blue jeans on. It'll check a church that you used to be... Hey! Yes, Roger? The blue jeans and the shirt. You've packed them already. Did I? Oh, but that's ridiculous. Certainly had no intention of going to the island. Oh, what a woman. From now on, my life's going to be miserable. Come here. Oh, it's good to be in your arms again, Roger. It makes me wonder and wonder. Yes? Why, you ever left me? No, dear. About the mailman. Our stars will return for their curtain calls in a moment. Now, just the other day, one of my neighbors in Hollywood asked me... Why is it, Mr. Kennedy, that my grocery is sometimes out of luck's flakes? Now that the war is over, I should think we'd have more of everything. It's true the fighting war is over, but we still can't get all the fashion oils needed for peacetime industries. Oils are needed not only to make soap, but to turn machines of every sort, even for plastics and synthetic rubber. The plantations in the Far East that used to send us millions of pounds of fats and oils were left in ruins by the Japanese. Can't we get fat from somewhere else? Yes, we can, from your kitchen. That's why the government asks every housewife to save and keep on saving for some time to come, every drop of fat from frying pan and broiler. Thousands of industries are depending on used fats for reconversion, so they can turn out the washing machines, automobiles, tires, and nylon stockings you want. Do butchers still give points for used fats? Yes, indeed. Not two points, but four points and four cents for every pound. So you can see how important the government thinks fat salvage is. Think how much those extra four points will buy now. Half a pound of butter or 10 ounces of bacon. Does saving fats help to make soap more plentiful too? Yes, industry gets the used fats, and this releases the fine oils for soap making. So when you save used fats, you're helping industry reconvert faster, helping yourself to get more rationed meats and fat, and more of all things you want sooner. We'll return you to Mitchell Lysen. Now that we've settled the affairs of Susan, here's that charming lady in real life, Miss Joan Fontaine, sharing a well-deserved Kirk and Paul with George Brent and Don Defoe. Thanks, Mitch. It's good to be working with you again. Yeah, tell me, Mitch, is it true that what you said earlier about you and Joan running your own housekeeping establishment when you were making Frenchman's creak? Sure is. And with an ex-actor like Mitchell Lysen, you didn't get just eggs for breakfast. You got eggs and hamlets. Ouch. Well, Joan, you never heard anybody kick about the meals at my house. No, they only kicked about having to get them. What was your specialty of the house, Mitch? Well, I used to serve fried chicken that sort of tickled everybody's palate. What's the matter? They leave the feathers on? Now, listen, aside from that, I bet I was sort of a flash in the pantry. You mean that your cooking wasn't delectable, delicious, and delightful? No, just delicin'. What are you cooking up for the luxe next week, Mitch? Well, we have something pretty special, George. In his first appearance since the war on this or any other sponsored program, one of the screen's most popular and outstanding personalities. Just out of uniform, he's Jimmy Stewart. Oh, congratulations, Mitch. You must be mighty happy to have Jimmy in his first radio play. And co-starred with him is another favorite of this theater, Joan Blondell. Well, you must have had a hard time picking a play to match with stars, Mitch. No, we let Jimmy himself do that. We gave him a free choice of the play he most wanted to do and the role he most wanted to impersonate. And he's chosen one of his favorite pictures and one of our favorite Jimmy Stewart roles in universal thrilling western melodrama Destry Rides Again. It's a great play for Joan Blondell and Jimmy, Mitch, and good night. Good night. Good night, and our thanks to all of you. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday evening when the Lux Radio Theater presents Jimmy Stewart and Joan Blondell in Destry Rides Again. This is Mitchell Lysen saying good night to you from Hollywood. The affairs of Susan was presented through the courtesy of Hal Wallace, whose current production is Love Letters starring Jennifer Jones and Joseph Cotton. Mitchell Lysen's next picture to be released is Paramount's Masquerade in Mexico. Joan Fontaine appeared through the courtesy of David O. Selznick, producers of Alfred Hitchcock's Spellbound. Down before is currently appearing in the Hal Wallace production, You Came Along. Will soon be seen in the Paramount picture Stork Club. This week, Hollywood launched one of its biggest personal appearance tours of veterans hospitals and convalescent centers. More than 30 leading stars from major companies will donate their time in that of the studios to entertaining wounded servicemen from coast to coast. Hollywood players have pledged their continued personal appearances whenever and wherever they are called upon to entertain our veterans. This program is broadcast to our men and women overseas through cooperation with the Armed Forces Radio Service. Our music was directed by Louis Silver and this is your announcer John Milton Kennedy reminding you to tune in again next Monday night to hear Destry Rides Again with Jimmy Stewart and Joan Blondell.