 This is gonna be an interesting one. I think I'd be pretty good at it, maybe. I wonder if the neurotypical is gonna try and fill all of these stereotypes to fit in. That'd be interesting. I can't choose any of you guys to be the mole. This is gonna be the hardest thing. Even me, myself, it's like, I think I'm the mole, honestly. I think we just talk about our disabilities. I prefer disorder. Disorder, yeah. I was diagnosed in middle school. I don't prefer a reverse. I transitioned to a school for people on the spectrum. Once I graduated middle school into that school, I kind of really enjoyed where I was at and everything. This is really hard because there's like so many eyes on me already. It's just taken a while to accept that I have a disorder. There's people who I've met myself who say, you have autism and my family would be like, did you tell them you have a disability? No, I don't think I need to. But reality, it really does help to know that I do have autism. They first suspected me of being autistic when I was five, but they hesitated to diagnose me because I was too intelligent. I mean, that's a compliment right there, being too intelligent. I feel like in some ways it's a little bit of an insult. I was diagnosed at the age of two. I don't see it as a disorder or a disability because I don't see my autism as something that's negatively affected my life because I like who I am, I like the way I think, and I don't want to change a single thing about myself. Honestly, like being here is like, we have to go ahead, Amanda, sorry. I personally see autism as a disability. I have a master's in disability studies. The medical model of disability inherently says that autism or any other disability is within our own fault and that we are the cause of the disability, but the social model of disability says that society is the cause of the disability. So autism is a disability because society is not made for me, that disability comes from without, not with it. I grew up autistic and deaf and I grew up feeling like I was such an outcast and I was the odd one out. Oh, hey, I just used the name of the, that was fun. I was diagnosed when I was four years old and it's always been a difficult process for me, especially going up, going to school and everything. I know that people don't perceive me as this normal guy, so I figured if I'm going to be this autistic person, I might as well be the best autistic person that I can be, you know, always. Fridge! Yeah, I mean, I always try my best to excel in school. You know, I always tend to be one of the smartest kids in school, you know, that's a whole stereotype. I would consider myself a late bloomer. I was diagnosed at the age of 22. I went most of my life I'm always knowing that there was, there's something different about me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The reason why I only got diagnosed this year was because I recently moved to a large metropolitan area that has many resources. And so that was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life because I have access to therapy and I was finally able to get an answer that I was always looking for. I really, really struggled to fit in. I really struggled to be able to come up with the right words to get other kids to want to talk to me. And so I stood out pretty badly and that continued throughout my entire time in grade school. I remember first feeling what depression was when I was around six. So when I was in university, they make us do these psychological studies because I was studying psychology and they have different things you can apply for. And I noticed one of them was, they were studying autism in women, specifically like people who are older. So I applied and that was how I got my diagnosis which was like, I was 21 then. My wife and like one of my friends are actually the only people that know I've been diagnosed. So surprise family or friends, anyone who's watching? It was like an eye opener. It was kind of bittersweet because it was like, I'm happy now. I have answers to all things that were going on before that I thought there might have been something wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with you. Okay, you're amazing. I agree with that. I agree. I agree now. Should I go ahead, yeah. Yeah, I was diagnosed with when I was a child but I didn't know I was autistic because I mean as a two, three, four year, and I mean, I don't know how one even knows what it's supposed to be up with them. So it's definitely hard to speak in a group's situation because I can never tell the rules of like when to talk and when to speak up. It's kind of like just jumping in like right or when you're kind of feeling like it. Why that happens. I think it's a lot to do with the way that we process things because I think we do naturally have an idea of when to enter a conversation. Like maybe less of an ability to do it like practically because I think people just like, they tend to process things a lot quicker than us, I think. And so the conversation kind of like, it's like they have like more speed with knowing when the breaks are, whereas like when we notice that there is a break, it's already finished and we end up like putting into the conversation, like speaking over someone or something. That's what my experience is kind of like with that. Plus I've also blocked a lot of memories from trauma. So I lived my whole life just wondering why I couldn't connect to people. Understand feeling each other. Yeah, can I ask you guys a questions about like, what are the stimulants? Like do you guys like chew gum or do you guys like have anything that you guys do specifically to like keep you guys calm or keep you guys... Go ahead Amanda. The color pink. The color pink. That's my favorite color in the whole world. My whole room is pink at home. My bed is pink. My bed is pink. My pillow is pink. And my rug is pink. And my carpet is pink. I even have a frame pink picture of mine. And most of my clothes are pink. I love pink. It's the best color in the whole world. Okay, okay. I also love pink. The darkest shade of pink you can get, which is black. I don't know. I feel like one of them, like the best new is fake. They're definitely gonna have like, some element of social anxiety. You just look downwards when conversations are going. Yeah, I know what you mean. Kind of feel sometimes... I was gonna say like, if people don't know, then they're probably gonna be less likely to like, make active like strides to include you in conversations. But to be honest, like, it doesn't really happen even if they know from my experience. I just don't think people really think about it that way. So we often have quite a lot to say. A lot of opinions, lots of thoughts, lots of different kind of perceptions of different things. And also, interpersonally, a lot of really useful insights about someone else's life and the issues that they may be having. I love blue too. I like blue too, but pink is better. Okay. Well, I mean, it's subjective. How do you guys feel about the Terra High functioning? I don't like that time at all. I didn't really think about it too much. I don't think I think about it either. Autism is too much of a spectrum. So many people with autism have so many different experiences. I can't choose any of you guys to be the mole. This is gonna be the hardest thing. Even me myself, like, it's like, I think I'm the mole, honestly. I thought they were like, try to find the mole. We're like, maybe there's none. There's no mole. The autistic imposter syndrome. Full swing. Even the person who's neurotypical might just be an undiagnosed autistic. You never know that. You never know about that. I mean, like, damn, all this relates. Wait a second. The mole might not be neurotypical just because someone doesn't have autism doesn't mean the mole could have like ADHD or OCD and could be overlapping the symptoms that could be associated with autism as well. My kid has a genetic condition that is not autism, but does manifest behaviorally and neurologically in many ways that are similar to autism. So when people interact with my kid, they often see an autistic child, but my kid doesn't, isn't autistic. Does autism run in any of your guys' family? I realize I was autistic because my brother, My dad. He's like, he's five years old. Well, I guess he's eight, seven now. Whoops, I don't know his age. Well, like, I see him and I'm like, huh, wasn't I like that when I was a kid? And I was like, yeah, yeah, because we thought your autistic child was like, what? And I did find out that my youngest nephew was just recently diagnosed with autism as well. So, but luckily he had a uncle who already experienced some, everything that he'd been experiencing. I can end up be, and I can be a mentor towards him. Yeah, my dad is an undiagnosed autistic. Sorry, dad. Go ahead. Do you ever like wake up and feel like you're not autistic and like, or like you have a disability? You're like, this is just me. Like, I don't see no way. It's called masking. I think I could be seen as neurotypical passing sometimes because I try to hide as much symptoms as possible because I was trained to do so at a very early age. People that don't have experience with others or have autism, they expect it to stand out. And that's not always the case. You know, I mean, we all look like humans. I think you can blame that partly on, you know, the media or how they portray us. We don't really have a good reflex. That is such an important thing. Like the recent podcast that I did with Emily Robin-Clarke, you should really check out their movies and stuff because they are like a really big person. They have like an IMDb page and stuff. But basically they were, we were talking about like tight casting. And it's something that I think I talked about a lot before maybe in a couple of other episodes. There was one with Reggie, Harold. Harold, I always mess up the last name even within that podcast as well. But yeah, he couldn't get any like autistic roles in that because he didn't have like the aesthetic that they were looking for in the person. Like he was always characterized as like the jock or like an idiot or something because of the way that he looked. Very attractive, man. Also say that. But yeah, so it's interesting. Like it's not even that the stereotypes are just kind of propagated just as they are. Like it's actually they are looking for people who look, who in their eyes look autistic. It's really screwed up. Like, it's mad. I'm thinking the one with glasses maybe, just because of like the way that they speak, maybe. But you never know. That's the wonderful thing about being autistic or also different. Like no, we don't. What they move with doesn't help me now. Rain man, you know. Yeah, we're like, where you know, you being on the spectrum, all it made me, you're good at gambling. I was good at gambling or something. None of them have the same experiences that I do. So there's no way to have pinpointed, oh, this person is more quiet. This person is more social awkward. There's no way to tell who was autistic or not. On the count of three, will the mole please raise their hand? One, two, three. Oh! Who could have seen that coming? Totally didn't see that coming. I was shook. I was like, no, I cannot be hurt, I can't be hurt. I never would have guessed. I actually didn't lie about anything. I just flipped out autism with FASD. And it stands for Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. I was exposed to alcohol when I was inside my mom in the room for the first five months. And you can kind of think of FASD as a spectrum just like ASD. Even though she might not have been autistic, there are a lot of overlaps between autism and many other neurological disabilities. FASD is never talked about. I've never met a single person who shares that diagnosis with me. What differences do you see between people with autism versus... I actually see a ton of similarities. And I wouldn't want to discredit anybody's else's experience. But autism does run in my family very heavily. My dad has autism. I have a sister that has autism. And I have quite a few cousins who have autism. And I also have quite a few friends who have autism. Dan, we're not your first. The autism community accepts you. I love you guys. Getting a diagnosis can be a whirlwind of emotions. As long as you stay true to yourself, I promise you everything's gonna end up okay. We are more than the label that defines us. And actually what we have is a whole spectrum. A diagnosis does not define somebody. Everybody is completely unique, whether you're neurotypical or neurodivergent. There you go. There you go. There you go. Oh my God, I actually like... The radar was on point in the first place. I kind of doubted myself. But interesting.