 I am so excited to be here. I've been a fan of Marty and Michael for years. I got to go on their show on Briss 31 many years ago and then I was fired from all the jobs I had. Great. Holy shit. There are some serious fans here. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage. Without further ado, the fully actual dudes themselves. Get up out of your seats and welcome to the stage and let's start this show. Matt, Marty and Michael, get up fully actual. You've already shown me that. Where the fuck is Matt? I don't know. Yeah, no shit. You're not Matt. Oh, well, don't you have his location? Oh, yeah. Let's see exactly where that fucking pig is. What? He's at the children's hospital. Cool. That's not good, Michael. Oh, I'd better call his handler. What the fuck is that? Hello? Matt? Brute? Yeah. Oh wait. No, no. No. What about Dordage? Yes, 100% I did. I mean, no, I'm sorry for lying. Who is that? What? What? What? Did they fuck your order up? Nah, some food to dress or some shit. I don't know. It looks like he's off from here. Invite him in. We're here for the bottle. Oh, the bottle? Yeah, yeah. Just come in and take it. No! No way! You're not taking the bottle! Michael, for fuck's sake, please just give them the bottle, dude. It's just Matt's calm. Sir, look at me. Please stay still. What you have in your hands is one of the most deadly, vicious, important biohazards the world has ever seen. Don't his, for fuck's sake, Michael. Secure the area. Do not let him get away. Quickly! What do you think you're going, pal? Do you guys want a burrito? Yeah, I mean, that's not suspicious at all, man. Wow, my powers are working. Get in the van, Michael! Go! Chicken, everything, have it all. Wait a minute. Ash can still be following us. Not in this hospital. Those kids better still be alive. What are you doing here? I'm working. Working? We've always wondered what you did. How the fuck did you find me? It doesn't matter. There's no time to explain. Why not? We have to protect the convoy. What the fuck is happening? Matt, shut up! There's no time to explain. We need to find cover. Now! Fuck, are we in the valley? Should we get some paint? Yeah, I'm going to double drop. Okay, let's up here. Let's go to where my old dealer used to be. He's usually here. Fuck, he must be dropping off. As you know, we've got a pretty big show in store. Let's get off. So, yep, let's go. We've got the conclusion to Matt vs Michael. Now, you guys haven't seen episode 39, but little hot tip. It's actually 19-all leading into the finale. They rigged it on my plate. I had no chance of winning. So, we will find out the winner of that cum bottle tonight. So, that's exciting, right? We've got Willem coming on soon. We've got a prank call that I'm going to need all of your help for. And we've just got some other shit happening. Tinder as well as we're going to solve Matt's baldness from all of the fucking pubic hair that you guys have sent in over the season. So, thank you so much for that. I'm going to have hair. But first of all, Mike, what do we got next? We've got our special guest. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, you please welcome our first guest. He holds the world record for catching the biggest flathead. He just told me backstage that he gets an erection every time he thinks of ex-big brother, host Gretel Caleen. What a coink-eating. Me too. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Willem Powell. I came here to get a fuck, and I've earned this fuck to get the fuck up and get on my bonnet right now. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. Guys, apparently he's... So, Willem is running 10 minutes late, alright? So, what we're going to do is we're going to move on to the next segment, alright? And honestly, no, he's not... well, I don't know. Apparently he's 10 minutes away. Anyway, we're going to move on to the next segment, and we have a huge jar of pubic hair that you... Willem! Get him, Willem! Get him, Willem! Oh, my God. Well, well, well. Here we are. We lied to you guys, okay? Willem was here the whole time. I knew, I knew. Okay, it was a shit lie, and I'm sorry about that. But we got Willem here right now. Now, Willem, you're a little bit nervous backstage. Yeah, I've never really stood in this many kind of people. It's pretty hectic. Yeah, you used to, yeah. But yeah, thanks for being friendly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we got Willem a wheelchair, because we genuinely thought you were disabled. My pelvis is broken. Exactly. Now, let's just have a little chat, because we're meaning to get you on the podcast for fucking ages, and it's just never happened before, but now you're here. So who the fuck are you? Are you a fucking dude who dresses up in that fucking outfit and goes out and just fucks with people? Like, you look so lovely tonight, by the way. Yeah, look, it's just a character. I'm just like every other single fuck would sit near, you know? I'm just a loser, just like all you guys, honestly. No, I'm just a dude that likes making people laugh, just like you guys. Yeah, but with the tattoos and shit, how does that even happen? Because you got dye tattooed on your face. Yeah. Look, just like myself and everyone else, we all been through shit, and I don't want to get real fucking like this, but I went through some shit. And these are the tattoos that I got and they all mean shit, and I went through shit. Hey, I eat shit. Literally goes through shit. And no, I came out the other side and I couldn't be more blessed, even though I don't believe in God and fuck God, but... No, look, I don't mean that, but I'm blessed to be where I am. It could be worse. You could have my face tattooed on you. Who's that? Is that Prattie? Come up here, Prattie. Let's just quickly get this out of the way. Come up on stage. Prattie has got Matt Brown's fucking face tattooed. Like the worst thing you could possibly do. Where is it, Prattie? Can you take your hands off and show us? Can you show us that? I'm not even going to put you on the spot, but... Like, look at this. That is full dedication. Oh my God! Well done. Do you know him? No. I do know him. I'm so happy. Matt's been like fucking talking about that nonstop. You can fucking be honest. Every day we come over to the brown reeds. All Matt talks about. Well, if some guy's got a tattoo on my face, it's literally the only thing he fucking talks about now. So thank God we finally met you, Prattie. Willem, what's your best fishing story? And yell it. Was that big flathead reel? No, of course not. No, but... You fucking idiot. It looked so real. It looked real. Yeah, of course. Photoshop's great. That's probably the worst Photoshop job ever as well. The thing that was real though, that fucking blew our minds, was the fucking stingray thing. Don't they... Oh, dude. Like that killed Steve Oh and that animal. Oh, where I put the stingray in some guy's leg. Yeah. Yeah, that's legit. That was legit. Doesn't he get poisoned from that? I think it was $1,000 I paid him. That is fucking insane. Was it permanent damage? Like, did he change? Boy, he went to hospital for four days, I think. Oh, my God. Fuck, no way, really. Fuck, yeah, he did. Is it that deadly? Yeah. What, a stingray is that deadly? Yeah, well, the barb. So what does that do? It's just a little knife. No, but the barb's got poison. Yeah, but like, what, four days? It's just... It killed Steve Oh and did. Yeah. It's fucking legit. You don't fuck around with stingrays. So what's the poison like? What does it do to you? I'm pretty sure it depends where you get fucked, but it can go to your heart. And he was just okay to do that for a grand? Yeah, but he was on, like, liquids and shit, drips and shit, because he was fucked up. Imagine if he died. That's fucking in 1,000 bucks. Imagine if he don't... You paid a grand for a man to die? No, he signed a fucking waiver. Yeah. Yeah, that's smart. That's smart. And then he actually swam across the tweed bar with a mullet suit. We tied mullet to him and cut him all open. And he swam it, but then he wanted to do another bar where there's a lot of bull sharks. But then I talked to my lawyer and my lawyer said, look, even though he signs a waiver, if he gets done, you're getting fucked. And I was like, yeah, I can't do it. What's the chances? Because we've done a video with you in the tweed, right? Yeah, for sharks. Yeah, for sharks. It's minimal. Yeah, so if we swam from one end to the other, even in the Brisbane River. No, the Brisbane River is dangerous. Wait, so what are the chances if we swim from one end to the other that we're going to get attacked by a shark? God, I don't know. Maybe one in five? No, no way. Maybe like nine and 10? No way. Yeah, dude. We're going to have to test that. No, people are saying no, but you don't know what's in the fucking water. I've been fishing these waters for like 40 years. You have fucking no idea. How old are you? 37. That doesn't matter. I was still in the fucking womb. How weird is it that Willem's younger than Matt? I'm 36. That's like 43. It's unbelievable. So now, Willem, we've got like, we've noticed that sometimes you reach out when we post like a really like good website video. I love it. We've recognized that we have a similar sense of humor. And your videos, Michael showed me one the other day. When you had that big black fella on the... Oh, Mac. Yeah, Mac. Eddie Mer... You know what the fucking thing is? What the fuck was that about, dude? Listen, listen, listen. It was on Facebook by Swap & Cell, and it was the actual prop they used for the nutty professor. Nutty professor. Came with a fucking authenticity. Is that a thing? Yeah, yeah. Authenticity. He looked legit. It was from the fucking womb. It looked like a real man, yeah. It's so fucking creepy, that thing. But yeah, that's legit. If you haven't seen it, it starts with you like trying to care for him, but you're abusing him. Yeah, yeah. As you should if you care for someone. Yeah. And then like it ends with you hooking up with him in front of all these people. So you just fully commit to the kiss, and you just... He can't keep it together. You're laughing as you're kissing him. Man, I was kissing myself laughing. I should give that to you guys, so you guys can go fuck with people. Yeah, yeah. That would be fun. Dude, it was 1500 bucks. It's a collector's order. I'll buy it for 1600. I'll give it to you for 200. Nutty Professor's a good deal. Oi, Nutty Professor. Eddie Murphy was a fucking shit. Yeah, dude, that was a funny... He's shit now, but he was good. Yeah, so similar sense of humour, and we're wondering, let's start getting you into some website videos. Yeah, I really want to do that, because social media, as everyone's sitting here, and there's how many members are in here? Yeah, where's the website members? Oh, my God, that's good. Holy fuck, that's beautiful. If you're not a member, what the fuck are you doing? Like, the shit's... Like, Matt! Fuck off, Matt. I'm still not a member. I'm still not a member. Nah, I honestly, because I'm into dark humour and into fucked up shit, I love it, and as soon as you gave... I don't pay, you gave it to me for free. Yeah, yeah. But me and my chick all ate my bloke. We always sit there and watch it, and we just love it, man. Social media became so... She likes it too. Oh, she loves it. Really? Oh, for sure. She thinks she's both very, very funny. That's so beautiful. And so do I. Obviously everyone here that's here now. But, yeah, I fucking... I love that shit. Now I'd love to get, you know, chicks on the boat, and then, like... We wanted to incorporate this thing with fishing. Like, I have seen it, and it probably hasn't been done too much, but the chick bending over, and you have the rod butt in her one or two, and then she catches the fish, and I reel it in. That's a genius idea. That's brilliant. Yeah, it is. It's genius. It really is. Oh, my God, that is fun. And then you put the fish in her after. Yes. Probably not. For storage. No, I'll go to jail for that shit. But, yeah, we're big fans of your stuff. Oh, well, that's good to hear, man. You're a judge on the next You Laugh, You Lose. Yeah, yeah. I think that would be perfect. Oh, I'd love it. I'd love it when you just fucking shit on the ground and just, like, have a play. Peace and... I don't know. Yeah, it's very... It's not humor. Well, we were influenced by Jackass, and when we do those videos, it's like our bodies get a break from getting abused, because it's relentless, just constantly torturing ourselves every week. So sometimes, you know, pissing and shitting is a welcome change. For sure. It's very funny. That's weird as that sounds. I love it. But anyway, so what were you... Because, like, I remember how I was, as a kid, having a really weird, unique sense of humor. It's kind of hard to find people to, like, relate to. Did you have the same problem as it? What were you like as a little fish? Yeah, definitely. Like, yeah, I always kind of talk shit, and I was actually... I actually done Mudman before him. Oh, that's right. I'm gonna fucking top that challenge or whatever. And I was like... Oh, my God, you're sitting in, like, a dart in your fucking hand and shit. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna take a shit, and I'm gonna rub it all over my face and call myself Mudman. Fuck you. And I did that. And it wasn't all there psychologically. I don't regret it. But, yeah, same shit that he did, yeah. That's fucking crazy. Have you ever broken the law? Bad? Yeah, I'm on good behavior bond now. Really? Oh, because of that boat shit? And abusing the maritime officer. You abused him? What was that about? Yeah, it was so bullshit, man, like... You can abuse people? I thought that's normal. Yeah, me too. Is that why you wear the mask? No. Why do you wear the mask? Well, if you abuse people, you can be arrested. I just think it's just weird as fuck. Like, who wears that? Like, you know, you look at that and you think you're fucking idiot. Yeah. Like, it's so true, yeah. But, yeah, it's just a character that, um, yeah, that likes blokes and holds a world record. Yeah. You know, it's cool. No, it's a beautiful character. It's really taken off. Isn't it fucking weird how that has just exploded like that? A guy dressed in a tight lycra fishing shit who wants to just fuck blokes. Goes out and fishes. It's just, like, kind of taken over. Yeah, it was so weird. Isn't that weird? It's crazy how it worked out. So, what's like the... So surely you weren't, like, one day, all right, I'm going to create this character. I'm going to go out and start filming videos and I'm going to be this bloke fucking fisherman. Exactly how it happened. I'm not kidding. What? You made the decision. I'm not fucking kidding. We were sitting around one day, my buddy's like, hey, what are you doing? I was like, you're a videographer. Let's go out and fuck with some people. And he said, yep, let's do it. And then everything was just off the top. Wow. Wow. And then it just took off from there, like, immediately. It just went ballistic, man. Yeah, see, we had, we slugged our arses off. Oh, dude. She swam for a lot of pain. Yeah, yeah. And like, no one, no one watched. Everyone thought we had like, yeah. No, but I fucking watched what I was saying before backstage. And I was, I was telling Michael that I was watching you guys when yous were fucking around in tennis courts and you guys were in a shed and there was a couch and, you know, you were touching each other. Like that's when Facebook was okay with like self mutilation. You're like, you know what I mean? I was watching that shit and I was like, this shit's hectic. I like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man, Facebook back in the day was so fun. With the, as I used to love when you'd pull up on like, the junkies spaced out and they'd just be so scaper-an, have they ever come across you again and you've had like altercations with them where they're like, Only once. What happened? Is it okay to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay. I fucked you. I don't know. I think I've matured a lot since then, you know what I mean? Like I kind of looked at junkies back in the day as like, look at you piece of shit. Like, you know, I didn't really think about it much and I think what they're going through, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I can see, yeah. You know, a lot of people may suppress things and bury stuff with drugs and then they get stuck in that loophole as such. So then that's when I really kind of pulled back on that and stopped and thought, you know, that's someone's sister or brother or whatever. I thought, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, one guy, he really tried coming at me and to get in my car and drive away. That's the other thing I want to say because your shit is like, you really get fucking like close to them in their personal space. Your early shit. Yeah, early shit. You get like, you know, it's quite confrontational. Did anyone ever fucking have a sweet? No, because I think they, because a lot of times I mentioned it, I was a mental patient. Ah, right, right, yeah. And they probably looked at tattoos and shit and they thought this guy is fucked. He wants to suck my dick. Like, you know what I mean? Like, imagine going up to someone and say, I want to suck your dry. I'll get you cocked out. Like, what are you going to do? Yeah, yeah, you can't punch that. No, you can't. Because in a way, it's a compliment. Of course. If someone hitting on you, you can't punch someone hitting on you. No, no. Oh yeah, cheers, man. Cheers. Good old James saves the day. Cheers, everybody. So he started your fucking, your shit went nuts and then you were like, I've got, I've started making money, so I'm going to give it all away now. What was the, what was the thinking there? Like, why did you start to get, why not just buy a fucking huge house and burn it to the ground for a video? Yeah, that's, that's pretty easy to do, I guess. I grew up in a broken family, I guess. Just like maybe some people sitting here. It's pretty, it's pretty common. Yeah, fucking families. Yeah, it's very common, you know, and you know, I lived between halfway houses with my mom and my sister and we never really had much money. And then when I came into money, when I was a bit older, for this power of his shit, I was like, you know what, I know how hard it is. People are fucked still right now. Today, people are fucked. More so, I reckon. People are hurting, man. Look at them all. Very bad. Like, look at all these people, they're fucking homeless. This is our home. No, but I came into it and I thought, you know what, I'm going to give money back because, look, money brings happiness momentarily, like it really does. So you buy a fucking cool car, man. The next couple of days after you're like, I'm fucking over it. Yeah, now we've experienced that. We've only got one thing in our life. And you guys are kind of like me, you know. You guys don't bloat about shit. You don't post shit that you just bought a house or whatever and go, look what I just fucking got, you know. And each to their own. I'm not saying that anyone's a fuckwit, but they're definitely fuckwits. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I feel you. And yeah, that's just, yeah. I like it because it's kind of selfish in a way because I get this feeling of helping people. It makes me feel good. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, go on. Agreed. It's the way to be. So in your whole social media career, how much money and shit do you reckon you've given away in total if you had to have a stab at guessing? Aftertax. Yeah, aftertax. It's really hard to tell. We do a lot of stuff behind closed doors, obviously. People don't want to be on camera and we don't want to exploit people. Friends are friends and stuff like that. But yeah, I'd definitely say around above $700. Wow, $700. No. That's fucked. But you've got to think that's only like, I've only been doing this for years. Have you ever had it anywhere that you've given away something to and they've been ungrateful for 100%? Yeah, 100%. There's a lot of people like that. Really? Don't say names. A lot of people. What's the situation where you've tried to give something away and then they've gone, fuck you if you can explain it. They don't necessarily say fuck you, but they want more. Is that all? Exactly. Exactly. This is only two months rent, can't you? Yeah, exactly. What about the third month? That's right. Yeah. But that's like, come on, that's like maybe six out of seven people. Do that. Oh, my God. I was going to say fuck everyone then if that's the case. Stop giving away. We may as well just fight for world war and just clear out and start again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get that new happening. Yeah. World war three. World war three. World war three. World war three. Man, that feels right. It feels right to say. Feels right. I like that. That's just me. That's just me. So. Yeah, so. Matt. Calm down, Matt. So I just want to like I've said it before to Mike Goldman. I honestly can't believe he's here. Like as a kid, like. I know. When I was a kid, I used to watch Big Brother like so much. And that guy's voice. Fuck. Yeah. It's beautiful. It still looks exact. He looks better than he used to look. That's adrenochrome. It's kind of like Barry. He's like celebs, right? So he's drinking baby's blood. Yeah, we saw him slit the throat of a baby back stage and sculled before he came on. I had some. I had some too. We all had some. We all had a bit of baby blood. Mike. How are you dealing with the fame? What's the deal with that? Because when we did a video with Willem, it was fucked up. This was still early on. We went down to Tweed. We'd be at the fucking beach or something. And cars like 300 meters away. We'd be like. Yeah. Like you got recognized just everywhere and anywhere. It was fucking insane. It's good because it's a job. But obviously like shit gets hectic. Go Willem. You know, I don't know, man. I'm not. I would say I'm well known. Yeah. It's like you can't undo it. Nah. Is it shit sometimes? Yeah, 100%. I've got fucking people follow me home. And then I fucking... They follow me home. And then I pull in the driveway and they get out of the car and go, oh, hey, can I get a photo? And it's like, whoa. Can I come over for dinner? Yeah. Do you invite them in? Fuck. Heaps of blokes. I can't be rude, man. You know what I mean? These people are paying my bills. And that's just the reality of it, you know? It's not like you live in an enclosure where like they can't find out where you are. And it's just what, you know, it's whatever. Yeah. But fuck them. How's that going? Are we getting anywhere? Did you get it? It's done. It's done. Oh, so we can play it right now. Hey. Fast forward to the... Because it's five minutes. People don't watch boring shit. All right. So in the meantime, look, now... And I'm pretty sure this guy that did it was off his fucking guts. On what? On anything? I don't want to say what, but you probably get the picture. And I bet you Julian sold it to him. Probably. Well, funny enough, I was in the mirror room back there and one of my buddies Eddie that drove me here, I kind of asked him, he drove me and I said, give you money. And Julian was there and I said, hang that fucking kingpin, that drug lord. And he goes, yeah, I got something to sell. And I was like, okay, yeah, give me some. And... I'm not lying. Julian sells drugs. At the after party. Is there any undercover's in here or whatever? But yeah, he does. At the after party? Just joking. Just joking, police. Yeah, I'm joking. It's just words. It's just words. But yeah, hit him up. He said 350, but then I said, no, 300. I'm a mate. And he goes, okay. Which is whatever. Now, one of the most, one of the, well, the best thing about the podcast this year, and you know about it, is that everything is centralized around one bottle of fluid. Yeah. And that's more very thoughtful. So I would be curious, you can say no to this, and then we'll throw it out to the audience. But I would love, cause Paulie's dad, uncle did it at Floppa and had us whiff and it was just fucking hilarious. Cause he didn't know what it was. If you're interested, would you like to have a whiff? You have to. You have to. I would probably say, there's no peer pressure. Can we get a teaspoon? I love it. Settiment. You said you clean Matt. Matt, you clean? No. You're not clean. No. What do you mean? What do you got? Look at Matt, warning Willam saying, don't ingest it. All right, let's, you do the honors. I think there's a fly in there. A fly? That's all right. Before, I'll have a taste. Julien's already fucking gay. Before we let Willam, is there anyone in the crowd? Can we get the crowd lights on? Is there anyone in the crowd who would also like to volunteer? We'll pick like two people to come and have a whiff. I think everyone wants to drink your cum. I love, imagine a girl sniffing it. Is there any girls? Any, this one here. Look at that. The girl in the hat. No, no, no. Red dress. Red dress. And a tattoo man. Come up. All right, Willam, do you want to go first? Yeah, I'll go first. Many nights spent filling the bottle. What do you mean? It took you one load, man. One load. All right. So hang on, what do we got here? So this is an entire bottle of ejaculate of Matt. That's your cum, Matt? Yeah. Say how long? What do you mean? How long? How long did it take to... Oh, man. It's hard to tell. I'm so sorry. I black out most times. You black out? All right, let's let Willam have a smell first and see what happens. Yeah, I'll have a smell. Oh, it's so bad. It looks pretty diluted. If you had it, imagine a swig. Have a swig. Dude, you can get sick from this, man. I don't know about this. I want it. That's been in there for a year. You want me to drink it, don't you? Okay. I'll drink it. Are you joking? This is the best thing that's ever happened on this podcast. This is the greatest moment of my life. Oh, my God. The fucking smell. You'll need a beer after. Smells rotten. Are you joking? Are you... Can I drink it? I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. Can you do, like... Maybe you don't swallow it, though. I'm scared you'll get food poisoning or something. Food poisoning? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? It's like having raw chicken in a bottle for like a year. It's like, yeah, climate. It's the climate change agenda. So you're saying you can just get sick? I don't know. I don't know. I don't want you to die, dude. So you don't want me to do it? Maybe just... Yeah, I do. But I don't. I don't want you to get sick. Put your tongue in it. Yeah, just taste it, maybe. That is so cool. Dude! Wow. Dude, that was so cool. Okay, guys, guys. Look, we need to... We need to just reassess just what just happened. We weren't expecting that to happen. No way. Okay. The way your tongue was there. Okay, that's like... That's like... You've already... That's the most fucked up thing that out of anyone. That's all that bad. Alright, guys. Thank you very much, Willem, for coming on. We are going to have a quick little intermission. So, Mike's going to come out, let you know how long the intermission is, and we'll be right back with Matt's new chair, glue and pubes to his fucking head, and everything else. Get some beers in there, and buy some shirts. Will you please welcome them back to the stage? Marty, Michael, and Matt! I love you, too. I love you, too. Can you guys hear me better now? That's what I had my mic right before. Oh, man, that was pretty fucked up, hey, but anyway... I got out of hand. Like, I feel... I feel ashamed. Alright. Alright. Now, it's a segment you all know. You may notice that Matt Brown has had the luxury of sitting on that sturdy mother fridge for way too many weeks. Don't you think so? So, what we're going to do, we're going to blindfold Matt, take him off stage, and we're going to give him a brand new chair. It's not something that's going to hurt my back, is it? Matt, don't worry about your back, Matt. Okay, okay. Your back's on your back, man. Yeah, your back's sore. My back's sore. So... Sorry. Guys, we've also just been told from security, right, the security pulled me aside, grabbed me by the... here, and just slammed me against the wall and said, if any of them stand up and come towards the stage, I'm going to fucking kick him out. That's what I got told. I reckon we can take him if that happens, but I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Anyway, let's get Matt blindfolded. Matt, get off stage. Get off stage. Blindfold him, someone! I don't want him seeing! Who's blindfolding me? Help me. Do you want to buy a bag? Blindfold him! 300 bucks for a bag, if you want to. Yeah, yeah. All right, guys, just bear with us here. James? Wow. Here we fucking go. All right, I'm going to go get Matt. Should I... Should I piss him? All right, Matt, Julian? I'm quite nervous. Let him take a seat. I'm quite nervous. Wait. Julian, Julian, wait. Not yet, not yet, Julian. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Just sit him down, sit him down, sit him down. Don't take your headphones off. Sit him down, sit him down. Oh. Gently. Just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stay there, Matt. Stay there. Do not remove your blindfold yet. Okay? Just fucking stay there. I just have... I just have to finish building this. Oh, shit. Don't shock me. Nearly ready, Matt. Here we go. I didn't even know this was going to happen. All right, let's move this chair here. Three, two, one. It's a ball pit! It's a ball pit! Welcome. Take a seat. What's up? We spilled some beer in it. Okay. Sorry. I'm on Matt. Here we go. Matt, you look... That looks fucking comfy as. It's not that bad. That's not bad. Yeah, there were rat trips out there, but they haven't said it. Look, there were rat traps in there, but most of them have gone off. But anyway. I'm a little bit nervous. Another fucking classic great prank on Matt Brown. Am I right? Holy shit. We fucking got him. It smells funny. Speaking of getting Matt Brown. Now, this is something that we haven't done for a while. Okay. Now, I searched. I had to rifle through Matt's belongings in his room for like two hours. You don't know this, Matt. But I managed to find the black book. Yes, yes, yes. I'm so ready. So I'm going to read an excerpt from Matt Brown's black book. Where did you find it? It was underneath all of the pregnancy tests and... Yeah, that's funny. So miles of blood. So everyone, I would like you to be silent, please, while I read Matt's black book, okay? So complete silence for this, please, because this is... Oh man. It's important to us. Let's be honest. It's something that we haven't been able to do this season. It's actually sort of beautiful. Exactly right, Michael. That's exactly fucking right. Sorry. All right. Do I look cute? Silence, please. Look, a little sip from my glass of red wine. Wow. Holy shit. That was so hectic. Yeah. Look, I can't believe these things have happened and you never tell us, Matt. Listen, it is what it is. Anyway, dude, is that child... It's just a scalp, Michael. No, it's just two men. It's just a scalp, your honor. That's all right. All right, Matt, I think it's time. We know... We cover you in with wigs and beautiful dress attire to make you look beautiful, but it's time... But it is time you show everyone what your bald skull looks like. So if possible, can you please stand and remove your hair? Yeah, get out of that pissed den there and have a look, eh? Get out of there and have a quick... Have a quick... Let it soak in and... All right, let's remove it. First of all, let's remove that hair. It's actually not that bad. It's actually not too bad. But do you know what would be better? Hair. Move brown. I really want this to work. It's time to move brown. You haven't been wanting to do this all season, Matt. Move it in here. But... You will be doing it in here. It's time. It's now time. So... Take a seat. Enjoy it. And the answer is... You will now be better. We don't know. Okay? It's a combination of so many of you. So many... And thank you, by the way. So many of you lovingly shaved your body hair. Thank you to everyone who donated. It's a charity. And look, it's like giving to charity. It's to give money to charity or you can give hair to the bald. And here we are today... With bald. Enjoy it, Brown. You will be better. Michael will now apply some clubs and we will begin the process of giving Matt hair. Whoa. Man. Isn't that exciting? World War III! World War III! Now, look, William, I'll get you to hold that if that's okay, my friend. Look, I'll apply the glue to a... It's a reasonable amount. A reasonable amount of glue. I'm sure it won't be... It won't be much. It'll be fine. It's got to go big. I hope everyone at work enjoys my hair when I get there. Smooth it around. They're going to be so shocked. That's enough glue. That's enough glue. Matt, is that on the hairline? We also surprised you, Matt. We've actually invited your boss. He's in the crowd tonight. Oh! Shout out to Holson. Shout out to Holson. No, he's not really here. Now, like, I was going to use gloves, but I've used the glue for the gloves, so I think I'll just use my bare hands. Oh! Really? I think it's easier. It's more natural that way. I'm actually pretty excited to see what this looks like. Just add a little to the top. Yeah, yeah. Little bits here, little bits there. Yeah. Hey, do you want a mic? It's on the side. Does it look good or what? Fuck! Wow, this is so fun. So, Marty, that is pubic hair. Yeah, yeah, this is legit pubic hair that sent in by all of you. 10 to 20 random fans have sent in to our PO box. Wow. Every week. I don't see any crabs. And I like crabs, but maybe they're just eggs in there. Maybe. Look, it's always good to have ball patches because you can't be perfect. True perfection is imperfection. What do you mean? You know what I mean? Oh, stop touching your face with a mic. You want to lick your fingers clean? Mike? We'll go to the side. You won't lick your fingers clean. It actually looks like pretty good. I can't, I'm married. I drank his cum. You can definitely lick your fingers clean. That's all the hair. Oh, we'll spread it around a bit. Yeah, Michael, try and make it a bit more even. Sorry. Sorry about that. Maybe we... Wait, I've got an idea. You guys know David Beckham? Why not go with him, Moe? Oh, my God. It's a pubic hair mohawk. Oh, my God. I can't wait to tell my mom about this. Is this even funny anymore? That actually looks good. Does it look good? Yeah, it looks so cool. Yeah, everyone said it would be bad. Yeah. All right. I want to get a video of this, Matt. All right, let's get a video of this because no one's going to fucking believe how good you are. I regret not using gloves. Look, Matt, you look... That is fucking all pubic hair and fucking everyone's saying hello. That's not bad, dude. Look, it's end of the day. It's just pubes. It's better than no hair. That's... All right, I can't believe you. Let's hear a round of applause if you think he looks better. A round of applause if you think he looks worse. Okay, so you look better, Matt. There you go. We improved Matthew Brown. And we will all be very disappointed if you don't walk into the bar at the end of the night like that. Dude, do you commit to that? Man, the head just doesn't come off. All right, guys, look. There's the pubic hair. So thank you, everyone, who participated in that. Oh, fucked up, fucked up. I can feel it on my face a bit. Yeah. Yeah, that's normal. That's pretty normal. That's pretty normal. Now, while we're on the topic of Matt, look, we all know he's got a girlfriend. Right. This mystical girlfriend that no one's ever met before, apparently. And he sees her when no one else is around. He's got a girlfriend. This is the last Tinder segment that we will ever meet. Oh, no. Sorry. And look. Sorry. Yeah, look, it's Matt's fault. Yeah. Oh, it sucks. There's still pubes in my head. Now, my head is quite cold. Guys, you're not going to believe this. Oh, my God. You know how we got banned from Tinder that first time after, like, a month of it? Oh, my God. There's still pubes in there. That literally happened halfway through this week, leading up to this. So I've got a few new ones, but I've had to revisit some old ones as well to throw in there. So unfortunately, I couldn't get the bangers that I was after, but I literally got banned from Tinder on Tuesday, and that was it. But look, we've got some Tinder conversations to get through. There's still some good ones. And that's the main thing. So those of you who don't know, Matt Brown has been single for, like, 25 to 30 years. What the fuck off? He follows us around. Michael and I are always in happy relationships, really functional, awesome relationships. That's my wedding ring. And Matt's always behind us, grabbing at himself, like, looking at us, and just being a real weird, sick fuck on it. That's not true at all. Smelling where we've been and shit. So we decided, don't worry, Matt, we will find a girl for you. So we've made a Tinder account for Matt Brown, and I speak to these girls, I swear on my heart, how I think Matt Brown would speak to these girls. I've known Matt for a long time. So I know exactly how you communicate to girls. So these are the final ever Tinder chats. Man, sort of sad, isn't it? It's the end of an era. It is. It's the end of an era. There it is. All right, guys. So Matt starts the conversation with, it's not easy being me. No one at work notices me, and it's really starting to go to me. How are you? What do you do for work? I'm all right. Just watching Witcher before bed. I work at the dump and direct the rubbish to the correct areas. My coworkers don't even really say hi to me anymore. It's making me lash out at them, which makes things worse. But anyway, how's Witcher? Worth a watch, do you reckon? It's changing jobs an option. I found changing jobs this year. I found a new nice work from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I'm thinking about quitting more and more, especially after last Friday. I ended up ripping the shirt off a guy working at the Waybridge. He told the manager and had to buy him a new shirt. It was so funny though. He was so angry and embarrassed for a while. I pissed in his shoes during our lunch break too. Yeah, I haven't played that game either. I'll have to look it up. Yeah, right, that's intense. Oh, that's nothing. This one dude called Phallus is always so quiet and literally never says anything because he doesn't speak much English. So a few weeks ago, I made him follow me to the toilets and watch me shit in the urinal. He was trying to leave but I had the door locked. Stuff like that is the only way I can make work fun these days. It's so annoying. My coworkers just all think they're better than me or something. Anyway, I'm off to bed. Can you keep knowing you? Can you keep getting to know you tomorrow if you're like, you seem cool. You're definitely intriguing. Talk soon. Oh, no. Morning, baby. I'm off to the dump. Do you want me to see if I can find anything? Like what? Just got back from the dump. I can get all sorts of shit. Literally anything you want. Washing machines, fridges, glass fat grease tubes, suffocated grill flares, arched swine bitch. Fuck. Fucking dumb black eyes and shit. That's hectic. Literally name something and I bet I can get it. I do need a washing machine but I'd not want to get one fixed if it was broken before being dumped. Yeah, some of them still fully work. I can seriously get you one if you want. I found a crushed up fucking boat shield, crud, piss bucket, and it still works, believe it or not. A what and a what? It's like used to harvest silk from silkworms. A grey futtle bridge that's crusted with leg slits. Foul grimace though. A real chunky bitch if you want to eat it. I still have no idea from when you said except silkworms. It's like used to... Yeah, I can get you silkworms. How many do you want? They're usually shuffling around in the curtain ditch plaster that's wild and blanket frost downwind of it. Not my cup of tea though. I really vexed gag order as well. I'm going to knock that cunt out from work tomorrow, I reckon. Oh my... How the fuck did she put up with that for that long? I think they're just lonely because Matt's so good looking. The hair... Alright, Matt starts the conversation with... I run out and see a massive 5 metre long plank of thick wood smashed through my kitchen window. It weighs like 100 kilos. All this crap about youth crime being on the rise is fully legit. I'm experiencing it firsthand. But anyway, how's your week? Oh wow, really? No crime where I am, I'm in Rothwell. It's going okay. Looking forward to the weekend. Yeah, I feel like they're targeting me. I found human in my mailbox and my car had dead rat's glued to it. Kind of scary. I'm going to a show. What are you up to? Have you reported this? No plans as yet? I did report it after the dead rat, yeah. And I've installed cameras. But I woke up the other morning and they'd cut their fingers off and stitched them onto my fence. And the cameras had been cut in half with frozen piss discs. But the new one should be safe. Anyway, so tell me, Bezos, what's your dream in life? Unmatched. No. Unmatched. As soon as you ask something nice? There's a couple of sure ones here. So this chick, Matt's got something about being royalty in his bio. Okay, so for context, and she starts the conversation with, hey, do I call you sir or your majesty? Call me Scrot the blast pitch. It's a nickname from high school. I used to take chicks and absolutely blast them on cricket pitches at night. Growl them out and make feasting sounds. How's your wheat going? Unmatched. Dude, growl. Dude, growling out is the worst term. No. I know. Oh, my God. I'm trying to stop him from talking like this, but... All right, this lovely young lady, she's like, got in a bio that she really likes family and all this shit starts a conversation. You look like someone enjoying life. Oh, that's so nice of you to say. But not this week. It's been a shocker. I was transporting eels from one enclosure to another and the latch on the truck popped open. All the eels splashed onto the road and I watched them all die. Worst part was I was reversing the truck over some of the bigger ones to put them out of their misery and the owner arrived and saw me doing it. He fully thought I did it on purpose, but he could see it was an accident when he saw that I'd been crying. I honestly feel pretty terrible. I really love those eels. But anyway, I'll be okay. How's your week been unmatched? Imagine loving an eel. Fuck, dude. All right, so there's a little bit of a longer one. Matt really gets deep here. Sorry. Look at you, dude. You seem like such a happy person with great energy. I'm a stupid piece of shit and always whinge and get mad at people. Oh, I get so mad when I'm driving. I've even punched my windscreen. How's your weekend? Too shade of that first message certainly leaves an impression. I just like to be open and honest. It creates a deep connection much quicker. I find people often try to be the person that they think other people want them to be, but the real you will always shine through in the end. So yeah, I want you to know that I have massive anger issues and that I lash out and break material possessions sometimes when I can't control my rage. I would never hit a person though I don't think I can promise you that. I want you to feel safe with me. Oh. So tell me something about yourself. Why are you so happy? Aren't you that guy from the videos? Is this a prank? My friends do social media, yeah, but I work in sales. Okay, so you're being real? If so, I'm down to chat. Yeah, just because I'm in a few of the videos, a lot of which I didn't have a choice in being in doesn't mean I'm being filmed 24 seven. I have an actual real job still. Oh, that's good to know. I'm not a huge social media person. Also, in regards to your anger, is it something you work on or have accepted? In answer to some earlier questions, my happiness should not be dictated by Tinder pigs. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, to be honest, the social media love kind of stresses me out. Plus, I think it's affected our friendship. I don't trust them anymore and I feel I can't open up to them as much as I used to. My anger is an ongoing thing and full disclosure, I've done some stupid stuff while I was angry that I'm not proud of. So you may well know, I once king hit a sheep because it ruined my white pants. I've definitely learned to control it more now though. Has therapy helped? I go through patches where it really helps, but then there are times when it just can't control myself and I'll punch holes in walls and smash my car windscreen if I hit a few red lights in a row. I'm considering a medication, but I just don't know about the side effects. Possibly, but they will only mask the underlying issue that makes you lose control. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. But my therapist said sometimes there's just a brain chemical imbalance that no amount of therapy can fix. And she said it was a high risk case, whatever that means. So she's been pushing for me to start taking them ever since I knocked that cheap out cold. Yeah, I would agree to be honest. That level of abuse is risky. Yeah, it's really affected my ability to form relationships because girls I date see my outburst and see me open palm hit my head over and over really fast over the slightest irritation. It's so embarrassing. Yeah, I can imagine. Self-development is hard, but you'll get there if you want to. I definitely want to. I'm trialing this new method. When I feel myself start to get angry, I turn away from whatever is frustrating me and breathe in deeply. And then on the exhale, I let out a slow, low, buuuuuhhhh sound. It's actually worked every time so far, so I'm hopeful. Oh, fucking hell. It happened today, actually. I was at Coleson, the machine world. You buy your food, kept saying I needed to get that attendant. I did the thing and got through it without too much rage. Anyway, enough about me. What's up with you and shit? Oh. I'm working at the moment and also ordering way too many things from Amazon. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What do you do for work? Wait, can I guess? I reckon you make furniture and lamb skins. Lamb skins is so soft. Hectic. Yeah, that's definitely what I do. Next time you feel the need to wax some wildlife, send them to my way. They call me Buffalo Chloe. Yeah, I love your confidence in self-belief and shit. But seriously, what do you do with yourself? For fuck's sake, just tell me, unmatched. All right, a couple more guys. Another lovely lady starts this conversation, Matt. So, anyway. Money going? No, angry. Just found out I have to pay like $250,000 tax because I haven't done it for like 15 years. Now I've got to fucking fine and shit because I think I was trying to avoid tax on purpose. I'm honestly sober, this shit-hole country. It's so fucking hot and I get all pink and burnt. The second I step outside, dumb bullshit kangaroos and bugs and shit flying around. It's fucking lame as shit. I'd rather live in a rock than this shit-hole fucked country with tax. How are you? Oh, no. Is that a joke? I wish. Sorry. I shouldn't have messaged while I was so heated. I'm an emotional wreck right now and I have no idea how I'm going to pay this back. If you have a good accountant, they might be able to get some of the fees and interest removed. I just went to the accountant. That's when I found out. He said that there's nothing they can do and that I've committed criminal charges. I'm so fucking scared, Tara. I haven't told my wife yet. You have a wife and on Tinder? Yeah, but I've only ever been on two dates with women from Tinder and they haven't led to anything. She speaks to male co-workers at her job and I speak to females on Tinder. Don't really meet many women in with my line of work. Wait, so you're in an open relationship? Oh, no, I wouldn't say that. I would never like physically do anything with anyone from Tinder, I don't think. Unless, well, maybe you want to maybe do something with me. Maybe a little kiss or a wristy. Maybe if you want to, of course. I don't mind if you don't, it's cool. So how long have you been single for, unmatched? No! That was good. That was so good. You can't say that to me, Matt. Exactly. That's what I've been saying, Matt. You can't speak like this to people. Oh, my God. All right, last one. I'm arching my back in the mirror while on all fours. Have you ever tried it? That's my family. No, it's nice you have such fond memories of Father's Day from your childhood. You do podcasts? If you do podcasts, we have to meet immediately. Like today, I have something to show you. No, I'm not a white man with many options. I'm a white woman with many options. Also, if the thing you need to show me is your cock, you'd have to be Ira Glass. Why would the thing I have to show you be my cock? I have a sweet podcast set up that I only just bought a few years ago. I don't really sleep with someone until I know there's a future with them. Because Tinder, but I very much respect your stance. I'm the same. I've done VO work in the past, and that's what the pic was from. What's your pot about? Also, I have to say I completely misread slash misinterpreted your first message. My bad. Jesus, you must think I'm a bit strange. No, just kidding. I was going to show you my cock. Your instinct proved right. Oh, no. Unmatched. Oh, no. Oh. So, Matt, unfortunately... Yeah, unfortunately, I had to find a girlfriend on my own because that is what was going on. Well, the pressure helped you. The pressure helped you find someone quickly, and now you're free with a girl. You did it. And to be honest, I'm not going to take 100% credit, but like 95% credit, I'm going to take. Because you are holed up in your room, watching porn, and just following your friends around, doing nothing. Pressure helps. Pressure definitely helps. And now you've found the love of your life, and she's in the crowd tonight, and Matt wants to ask you something. Matt. Are you going to do it now, Matt? I hope she's still here. Matt, do you want... Oh, my God. No way. Everyone, stand up and clap. Give me my ring back. You don't have to propose, Matt. We're only joking. Oh. I was... I will one day, though. He thought about it. It would have been so... Imagine a proposal at our show. She'd kill me. If I did a proposal here, she'd kill me. She'd say no. Hey, Willem. But you look good. Thank you. That's my hair. Does it look all right? Willem just sitting here. What did you expect, Willem? No. All right, guys, look. We're not going to move on. And can I please get... Now, I need your help for this, guys. This is the first time we've ever attempted a prank or this kind. This is going to change the world, I think. Can I please get the lights on the audience, please? And, by the way, this is sponsored by Mother. She's dead. Michael's mother is dead. It's okay. I'm okay with it. All right. We want to trick this person into thinking there's a fucking riot happening in the cinema because I'm on the phone complaining about it. But I reckon for, like, five seconds, because we want to make sure we get their reaction. So what's going to happen is my arm goes up, which is your cue to start screaming at me. When my arm comes down, you've got to stop because otherwise we won't be able to hear this person's reaction. And that's what we want. Be hateful, okay? Get a... I'm just sitting in the cinema watching killers walk the flower moon. You know that one? And, like, it's like... It's real hard to get through, mate. It's like probably the shittest movie I've ever seen. Yeah. Because it goes for, like, half a day or something, mate. If I leave now, can I get, like, a refund or, like, a half refund or just something, mate? Because it's just, like, it's fucking... Yeah. Um, if you come up to the candy bar, like, where you bought your tickets, we'll give you a refund. Yeah, oh, true. So I can come out and get a refund right now for the full movie? Yeah, yeah. Can you shut up? Well, hang on, mate. I've just got people yelling at me in the cinema. So if I leave... Yeah, I'd probably just leave the cinema now. I don't want to leave on... Yeah, just hang on, guys, one second. Oh, fuck sake. Hang on, mate. Um, yeah, just... There's a guy waiting for me. If you want a refund, I would just come up right now. All right. Hang on. These people are starting to yell at me. Calm down! Calm down, everyone. Hang on, mate. Hang on, mate. These people are yelling at me now. Like, oh, fuck sake. Just wait one second, I'm just on the phone with the guy working there, or I just wait. So if I come out... So confirming, mate, if I leave right now, I can come out and get free tickets. Yeah. I'm just waiting. Just wait! Oh, fuck sake, he's all one-on-one! Oh, fuck sake, he's all there! One-on-one! I'm coming, mate. I'm coming, mate. I'm coming. I'm fucking lagging, mate. I'm coming out to you right now. I've got about 10 people chasing me, mate. They're fucking after me. It's just a fucking movie, mate! It's a fucking movie! Mate, can you come get me? Can you come get me? I'm fucking cornered. I'm fucking cornered in the middle of the fucking cinema. I've got fucking getting right in my face. Just relax! Mate, can you... Hello? Hello? Now he's hung up. Oh. Hey, look. It's hard life. Damn it! It's hard. The concept was great, but, yeah, reality sucks. Like, look, World War III, right? World War III. World War III! World War III! World War III! It feels so wrong to say, but it sort of tickles right. I'm just picturing that guy running for the cinema right now. Mike, would you like to come in and let everyone know exactly what is at stake here? Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Jesus, it smells like piss here. That's real. Okay, so the scores are tied, I believe. Is that right? Indeed. 19 all. 19 all, everybody. So the scores are tied at 19, 19. So how are we going to decide the winner? Do we get the audience to decide? There is a competition that is about to take place. Oh. Which will decide the winner. But first, let's play the Matt vs. Michael intro video. Watch at your own peril. Over to you guys. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, this is... Smell that shit before you. Now, this is for the all-important bottle of mints. Now, we've tested everything this year, haven't we? We've tested them emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually, and today it all comes down to this. The boys are going to jump on their knees, and I'm going to give them a pillow each. Oh, no, we're not sucking... No, you're not sucking dick because you're on your... I guess that kind of makes sense, but no, we're not doing that. I'm going to give them a pillow each, and these two are going to thrash each other's bodies for two minutes with a pillow fight. Today we decide the entire season's worth of Matt's mince bottle with a fucking pillow fight, everyone. Holy shit, this is late. Matt, take my hands. Blindfolds on. Can I see? Can I keep the blind? You can't see. What if I get hurt? It is a blindfolded pillow fight, everyone. A blindfolded pillow fight. All right. When it starts yet, do not start yet, okay? We're going to start a fucking timer here. Is he in range? Can I find out the range? We're going to start a timer. Where is she? And when it starts, you've got two minutes. Wait, this is a prank on me. What the fuck are you doing? What are you talking about? Where is she? I'm in front of you. Reach your hand out, reach your hand out. I can't feel her. You're both there. You're both kneeling on a yoga mat. Am I? Is he there, there, or there? Directly in front of you. You're both directly in front of each other. That's cheap. We haven't started yet, Matt. Sorry, I jumped the gun. We haven't started yet. I jumped the gun. I'm sorry. There's got to be penalties for that. That fucking got my jaw. Okay, look. Let's start a two-minute timer. Oh, my God. Is there come on this, by the way? No, there is no come on anything. It's just a fucking straight-out, blindfolded fucking pillow fight, all right? I feel like his head's there. All right. Where is it? All right, here we go. Your time starts. Three, two, one, go. It's for the calm bottle, boys. Go nuts. It's for the calm bottle, boys. Don't give up. So fairies. Take your blindfolds off. They're so fairies. They're blindfolds. They're so fairies. Matt's blindfolded. All right. Stand up, boys. Stand up. Holy shit. There was some fucking big hits in there. Is my hair okay? Your hair looks fucking great. Man, there was some fucking big hits in there. Oh, shit. My head hurts so bad. Every now and then, you guys just connected, like, clean as fuck. Yeah, so fairies. We need you guys to vote for this, okay? Oh, my God. Who? Okay, let's do this by round of applause and cheers. That's... Oh, shit. That's... Sorry, sorry. Holy shit. That's teeny. Leave it to the crowd. Leave it to the crowd. Round of applause and cheer if you think Matt won that fight. Man, this is for the winner of the comb bottle, okay? This is, like, so important, okay? There's, like, a billion children in there. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Round of applause if you think Michael won that fight. Oh, my God. I did it. I fucking did it. Oh, my God. It is mine. Oh. It is mine. Yeah. It is mine. Congratulations. I did it. I literally have no idea what he's about to do. I did it. I don't know what's going to happen. I did it. What's he going to do? I don't know. I did it. I'm sorry. He's apologizing. That's not good. It's not good that he's taking his mic off, everyone. I'm just going to warn you. Okay, fuck, we need a cleanup crew right now, dude. That is going to fucking stink the whole place out. Oh, my God. Oh, man, the smell. Oh, my God, there's the smell. Please, please remain calm, everyone. Take it off. Take it away. Take it away. Take the whole fucking pool away. Take it. Yeah. Where's James? Take it away. Take it away and burn it. Okay, look, it's starting to subside. And if you kind of think about it, you get used to it a little bit. All right, just. All right, guys, to finish with a classic little Q&A. So boys come on out. All the boys come on out. Julian, James, come on out. Sorry. Okay, I got a question right up the back here to start it all off. I'm Jack from Brisbane. This one's for you, Michael. You either, if that bottle come was still in the room, you got to drink it all for your mum to still be alive. Would you do it? Can I just have a swig? No, I probably would. Yeah, to bring it back, I'd skull the whole thing. And I'd drink it come to save your mother's life. That's a stupid question. Michael's mum's dad. Yeah, it's a shame. It's a shame. Next question. Man, my eyes hurt. Please say your name where you're from and your question. Dave from Sydney. Boys, I just really want to know what sort of coffee brand do you use for the coffee enemas? We use decaffeinated organic. What brand is it? Decaf organic. Decaf organic. Just because we've done actual caffeinated. If it's caffeinated, yeah, it fucks you up. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's caffeinated or not. You get an anxiety attack having fucking liters of fluid flushed up your ass. It's because when you do it, your mouth salivates. You can feel the coffee in your fucking mouth. Mine doesn't do that, Julian. And it's quite healthy. Okay. It is meant to be healthy, but man, yeah, you can get anxiety hard. Next question. Mike's found a chef. This guy was wearing a cool outfit, so I thought I'd put him on stage. Hey! What's your name where you're from? What's your question? Rob from Ballina. First thing, fuck you, Julian. My question is, that real estate agent at Matt's house, how the fuck do you guys do that shit? Yeah. We're very, very lucky. Yeah, good question. Like, that's a good question. They're going to knock the house down. I'm pretty sure and build units on it. Yeah. So they sort of let us come into the house. There's a property developer. So they let us do whatever the fuck we want until they're going to demolish. Very accepting of it. Very lucky. We fucking hit the jackpot there because any normal house, we'd be out on it. We have been kicked out, as you've seen. Many, many times. Yeah. Okay, one last one. Last, this guy, he was at his hand up since the start. What's your name where you're from? My name is Blade Major. I'm from Brizzi. It's not more of a question. It's more of a statement that I wish I was in the pit with Michael as he dripped all of you. Sorry. Can you say that again? I did quite hear you. It's more of a statement, that one. It's more of a statement. I just wish I was embracing Michael as he was getting covered in love. That's normal. That's a normal thing to think. That's a feeling you'll have. That's a normal thing. Okay, I don't know what to say to that, guys. All right, guys. We're going to have to wrap it up, but don't forget. We fucking love you and we'll see you soon. Stay positive, test negative. I'll see you at some house, too.