 Hey, I'm Matthew coast head dating coach and founder at commitment connection calm and today We're going to talk about how to talk to men if you're struggling to keep a Conversation going with a guy or you want to talk to a guy in a way. That's more attractive to him than this is for you so There's three different things three different ways To talk to a guy that I'm going to talk about today. That's really attractive But first let's talk about what doesn't work So a lot of times women will come to me and they'll say Matt, you know, I really want to I don't really want to you know, I have to talk about guy topics I don't want to have to learn about sports and do all those things just to let you know Talking about guy topics is not attractive. It's not necessarily unattractive. You know if a guy's into sports He might like a woman who's into sports too. It's just that he's not attracted to her typically for that It's usually like a plus, you know something added on top of it Another thing that a lot of time that you don't want to do is a lot of women will Kind of the like put men down, right? Because they see guys doing it to each other like, you know busting on each other and they'll be like Oh, well, maybe that's how I should talk to them and then they'll start busting on guys And what ends up happening when you do that that that one actually is very unattractive Like it's a guy will be repelled by you if you do it every once in a while. It can be cute But if you're doing it all the time, it can be incredibly unattractive and it can push a guy away If you're trying to talk like a guy all the time He's gonna start seeing you as just another guy, you know, and you'll end up in the friend zone You don't want that And the next one is relying on commonality. So There's this kind of this myth out there that you should, you know Find a whole bunch of commonalities with another person and and you know, that's something that's gonna be really attractive And and it is attractive to the extent that of friends, right? Making friends with somebody it can be cool to have other friends that are have similar commonalities But for a guy it might it could be something to talk about but it's not Attractive it's not gonna make him more attracted to you and making him more attracted to you is what we're talking about here So and then the last one is is having expectations I have women come to me all the time and they're like, oh mad I want to express my feelings to a guy, but he doesn't respond the way that I want him to You know, how do I express my feelings and get him to respond the way that I want him to and my answer to that is Express your feelings if you want to express your feelings, but don't expect him to respond in the way that you want him to respond he's a guy and he's gonna respond in a guy way and so that's My suggestion on that one is is don't have expectations Don't try to force a guy to respond the way that you want him to because that's incredibly unattractive as well So what does work? The first thing that works really well is telling stories. So Telling stories about your life telling stories specifically about your values like what you believe what? What you value in your life? What's important to you? what you're looking for in a relationship talking about other people and their lives and and you know correlating that to You know what you're looking for it's also a good way to screen guys is find out what How he feels about those topics you can you can get all of that out of them If you tell a story instead of talk to him directly about it Another thing another story that you might want to tell is something that you're excited about and so just to kind of Talk about stories a little bit stories are Really powerful because we've been We've been we were telling stories way before written language was developed in human history and so if you tell a story it kind of like makes somebody sit back and relax and just start listening to you and it can take them through a lot of emotions and That can be incredibly attractive and if you talk about things that you've done that you that we're exciting or things That you're going to do that you're excited about doing that can be incredibly attractive as well and then the last thing in stories is Talking telling stories about things that you've done that are feminine So things that you've done if you if you're not sure what feminine being feminine is like It's it's kind of this caring nurturing side of you And if you tell stories about that side of you that can be incredibly attractive to a man too because a lot of men Even if they're not consciously looking for that they're you know subconsciously like they hear that story and they're like Oh man, you know and they start seeing you as as somebody that they could be with in a long-term Relationship because of that feminine side that you're conveying through a story and so the second thing that you do want to talk about is Talk about what he's passionate about a lot of times. I'll have women come to me and they'll say Matt I can't get him to talk You know How do I get him to talk and if you want to get a guy to talk talk about what he's passionate about find out What he's interested in you don't have to know anything about it Just let him babble on and talk and blah blah blah, you know a lot of guys if you tell a guy If you get a guy talking about what he's really passionate about most guys can talk about that forever And it doesn't necessarily have to be his job. It could be whatever he's really passionate about in his life And so the last thing That Well, and I kind of talked about this a little bit earlier is the last thing that you want to talk about is things that you're excited about in the future and You know and that kind of goes along with this idea that I talked about in some of my other materials Which is you know having an exciting and interesting life, right? And if you have things going on a lot of women come to me and they're like Oh, well, you know, I don't want to start doing things because I want to have a guy with me you know, and I want us to do them together and It's so much more attractive to a guy if you're already doing interesting things, you know Because then it's like oh, I want to be a part of that. I want to be a part of that Experience I want to be a part of her life. That's she's an awesome life I want to be a part of that and so yeah So that's the three things that you want to do is tell stories talk about what he's passionate about and talk about Exciting things that you have going on in the future So that's it for today if you want more information on how to attract a quality man into a committed Lasting relationship make sure you go to my website at commitment connection calm and take the quiz there I'm Matthew coast and I'll speak with you again soon