 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin, and I will ask you one question. Do you want to get dirty? Cause that's what Codemasters asked me, and of course I said yes. This video is sponsored by Codemasters, and today we're playing Dirt 5. If you want to check out the game, there'll be a link in the description so you can get it for yourself. AHHHHHH! Okay, let's get started. I am reading this, by the way. I'm just speed reading, and I'm really good at reading. Da-da-da-da-da, selling my first born. It was fine, okay. I was going to ultra-high, and I nearly clicked ultra-low. I didn't realize ultra-low was a thing. Now, the flag of Ireland. There we go. It's on its side for some reason. That's weird. And we'll set my number to, uh, day since last accident. AHHHH! Zero. I'm with the one and only Nolan Sykes. Say hi, Nolan. Hi, Nolan. Ha ha ha ha! Mr. Sykes is a funny guy. Oh, he should take my spot. Bruno Durand, the man that can do two and now four wheels. I can drive on four wheels. I'm not intimidated by these people at all. Plus, I played a lot of dirt too. Like a lot. I had a bit of a problem. So, I'm pretty confident. Wait, what is going on? Has global warming gotten rid of the track? Where will I be driving? There's no dirt here at all. Oh wait, there's the dirt. Oh god, I really feel like I'm diving in at the deep end here. I don't know if I'm actually ready for this. I'm only partially drunk. You know, just the regular amount that Irish people are always drunk because of our DNA and how much alcohol is naturally in our bloodstream. But I haven't actually had a drink today and I drive way better after drinking. In video games. Just to clarify, please don't drink and drive. You know, I don't mean to jinx it, but I'm doing amazing and I have 100% chance of winning. My drifts are just on point, so that's why they call me DK Drift King. I always thought it was Dirty Kevin, which would also be fitting for this game, funnily enough. Here we go, yes, all for me, fireworks, confetti. Oh, my username is Ace. That is so cool. That is way better name than Dirty Kevin. I got dirt dollars. That is just fantastic for some reason. Sir, we don't accept the dirt dollars here. Wait, what are these? What the? These are just called playgrounds. I want to look at buses. Why do I always get obsessed with buses in video games? Oh my god, why are there so many buses? This is fantastic. Oh god, I did my first crash. It wasn't that bad. I was just distracted by buses. Oh my god, there's so many buses. I don't know where to look. Ah, public transport. My greatest fear. Oh my god. The buses are distracting me, okay? Wait a second. I'm only like eight seconds off the... Oh, that's a bit of a hard crash. I'm only like eight seconds off the world record because only five people have ever played this. Maybe this is my chance to be the best at something. Dirty Castle? I gotta know what this is. Okay, the record is 119 by the Dirt V team. They must have done it as some sort of relay race. Who would win? A Dirt V team or one Dirty Boy? Oh my god, I'm in the castle. I think this might be Takeshi's castle or something. All right, it turns out one Dirty Boy cannot face up against a whole team of Dirt people. Close enough. I mean, I was outnumbered. I think I did okay for a guy on his own. This one's just called Hole in a Wall, which I'm very eager to see. The record is 35 seconds. I can do this. Wait, where am I supposed to go? My person is dead. Where was I supposed to go? Oh, through that little hole I see. Missed. I did it. A speed to the finish line. Come on, I can do this. I can get a world record. I have a world record. Oh, out of a total of three people. But look, I smashed it. I'm more than halved the time. And on my first try, too, we edited out the rest, didn't we? I'm sure we did. I would never make myself look bad. All right, let's get out of the playgrounds. It's a court order, after all. Let's get into a career. Now, listen, I know you just want to get out there and wreck some tires. Yep. Just skip them completely. Sponsors, code masters. Oh, oh, that's pretty literal. Where's the Irish track? I don't think there is any, unfortunately. Honestly, our main roads are like a feckin' rally race. Potholes the size of craters. I like the look of this one. Syphilis struggle. Let's play this one. I can't afford any of these. Why do you even show them to me? I don't want to be shamed. Oh, I can edit it? Look at this for cool. I love it. Wait, do I have these unlocked? I would like a carrot on my car. I just bought it. Okay, that probably wasn't worth it. Better make it a big carrot to make it worthwhile. That's a nice big carrot. If anyone saw my carrot, they'd be like, God, you must really like carrots. No. Why do you ask? Who am I going to give free marketing to? Marketing they definitely don't want. Oh, slime. I love slime. I don't know what the brand is, but yay slime. Wait, you took my carrot off. Sorry, slime. I'm more of a carrot guy. I'm loyal. You know, I always wanted to go to Greece and with everything going on, this is as close as I can get right now. So I'll enjoy it. I'll take in the sights. Look at that. It's gorgeous. Oh my God, that looks amazing actually. Like no sarcasm or anything. It looks really cool. And I'm not talking about my carrot. I mean my carrot too. I should name the carrot. I should name it rot. Because then it's carrot rot. Carrot. It's pretty clever, huh? My co-drivers just like, please just keep your eyes on the road. Stop talking about carrots. Wait, is it raining now? Oh God. I didn't steal my carrot vinyl. So they're going to wash right off. I love that I can see the little smile of my carrot up at the top of the car slightly. It's really encouraging. But all the other racers must be very embarrassed. They're so far behind. Never underestimate the carrot. God, the weather's getting bad now. I wanted to go explore Greece at the end of this. The only one that's going to be greasy is me. Oh no, God is angry. He's angry at my carrot. Nice win for Ace. I don't know if I put my name as Ace or I could have changed that. I mean my name is username. So maybe they just assume that he just doesn't care what he's called. Also, my password is password. Just in case you're wondering and you want access to my account to play some of these games, go for it. Okay, few. My sponsor didn't drop me yet. That's good to know. All right, let's head to Italy. Oh, I can't use my same car. Am I going to have to customize another one? No, I didn't want to customize it. I can't drive this piece of crap. I need like a proper customized car. I'll just sit on the starting block like, no, not moving without my carrots. I think I'll actually swap to this one. This one looks cool. Let's see what's under the hood. Oh, yeah. Look, whoa. Look at that and an engine. That's, whoa. Yeah, this looks good to me. He's kicking the tires like, yeah. Seems like a car all right. Now I'll edit it. I don't know where it is. I'm trying to play this a carrot but I made my car orange and I can't see it. Oh, there we go. They're on completely randomly. Like I clearly got the stickers and installed them themselves. Just like, yeah, that looks good. I'd rather it on the back so he's like smiling on me. Is that, is that possible? No, I don't think it goes on the back but it goes on the front for sure. I mean, I'm in the driver's seat so I can have him smiling back at me like that. That works for me. I just think the carrot thing really landed with the crowd last time. So I want to stick with that theme. I'd say call me Kevin the carrot but that's actually a thing already, believe it or not. I just can't see Kevin the carrot out there. God damn it. Oh, there we go. His little smile. Do it for him. The music is really good in this game, by the way. I really like it. It gets you pumped up. I mean, as a YouTuber, I usually only listen to royalty free music. So it's setting the bar kind of low but honestly it's really good in this game. Oh my God, look at this. So cool looking. I'm talking about the carrot, by the way. Oh my God, Jesus. I went over a massive ramp but I didn't even realize. Good thing I was distracted by my carrot. That sounds like a euphemism or something. I don't like that. I need 10 seconds more airtime. Can I do this? Is there any more bumps? Would any of the spectators be willing to get out on the track and make some sort of a human ramp of sorts? All right, here we go. Big ramp, big ramp. Jeez. It's fucking hell, risk in life and limb here. I got my total airtime though, so I'm happy. What is this thing? How do I drive this thing? It's like a tractor. I'll be in my element. By Christ, is that a pipe T7? I haven't seen a pipe T7 yet, yet I thought they were still on the pipe T6. Jesus, the speed off is unbelievable. My God, what is this? 907 brake horsepower? Just imagine how powerful 907 horse is at. Putting us in Roosevelt Island and making us drive off-road. This is gonna be awful. Kevin, where are you? Come on, the race is starting. Hold on, hold on. I'm just putting my carrots on. Ice, it's smooth, flat. Wait, we're driving on ice? Oh no. This track looks so cool, but also I'm gonna die. Oh my God, even my tracks. Look at the tires. The treads are insane. I'm gonna rip the ice apart out of my way. I am the best tractor driver in the business. Oh my God, I think I'm actually gonna lose this race. The one thing I was boasting about, tractor driving, and it's not going well. I am annihilating a lot of them though, like I'm just taking them out. God damn it, I lost. I should have put on more laps to allow myself a little more wiggle room. Then I would have had time for crashing into the opposition and winning. What else have we got here? Manhattan Park? That sounds cool. Oh wait, no, Manhattan Park reversed. I'm not reversing for an entire race. For a second there, I was like, oh my God, why are they giving me this disgusting cat? It's the one I made earlier. Oh, Anaston Martin, yes, please. Put a few carrots on that and it's a beauty. Well, an interior design tip for you. Blue goes great with carrot. It's like a sensor bar on the carrot. Perfect. What happens when you combine street? Outside, I skipped the cutscene. And what happens when you combine street and car? You get street car racing. I assume that's what he was going to say. Oh my God, these things are way too powerful. Oh my God. Jeez, this is way too strong. It does have 450 horses after all. Oh my God, someone just died. Ow. I scraped my carrot. All right, let's change the next one to two labs. Well, I put them on a herd. I'll put them on a herd. I've been on medium so far. Oh my God, this looks like it's self-driving. Might be a good idea. All things considered. I can't believe I'm customizing every single vehicle to have these carrots and be an awful color. Whoever is selling these carrot decals must be making a fortune. Unless I just bought them in bulk would have been a smart idea. This one can't even really fit because of that. The roof, so I just put it off to the side and his leg is coming out the front. Okay, I'm pretty sure my self-driving carrot just tried to kill him. It just tried to push him off into the river. And it is self-driving after all. It wasn't me. Self-driving, sorry. Still got to work on some of the kinks in these things. I actually physically cannot catch up to the ones in first and second. I just don't seem to have the power. Get out of my way. I'm going to sabotage myself here by crashing into everyone else. But the important thing is they will be sabotaged too. We'll all be sabotaged. It's like communism, but with a lot more crashing. You know what? I will take third. It was on hard difficulty. I felt like my carrot was worse. Oh wait, the guy in second was also driving this carrot. I feel like the driver was worse. So I didn't have much chance in winning but I think third is pretty good. Before we finish, how about we do a quick hit and run? I just saw this event and I was like I can't really resist a hit and run. The question is, what am I hitting? Oh no. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. Well, there's the hit and here's the run. I know it's pretty feeble. Oh, that was kind of fun balloon at the end. I feel like I could have done that one. I could have represented all of Ireland being at the best at hit and runs. Alright, folks, I think we are going to end it there. But thank you to Codemasters for sponsoring me. I really do appreciate it. It means a lot and I really, really enjoy the game. I gotta say if you want to check it out there will be a link in the description as I said earlier. But for now I'll just thank you for watching. I do appreciate you watching. I really, really do. I hope you enjoyed. If you want to check out more of my stuff I stream over on Twitch four times a week. That's in the description. I also have a second channel. That's in the description as well where I post a few times a week. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed. I appreciate you as always and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.