 Six-tibal-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong, Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo- doo-doo-doo-mong-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong-la-mong. The Jack Benny program, presented by Lucky Strike. Feeling low. Feeling tense. These hate words are common sense. Smoke a lucky. To feel your level best. Smoke a lucky. To feel your level best. Your level best. That's just how you'll feel when you light up a lucky, Because Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low, calms you down when you're tense. Put you on the right level to feel and do your level best. That's what fine tobacco can do for you. And L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Smooth, mild, thoroughly enjoyable tobacco. So next time you buy cigarettes, ask for a carton of Lucky Strike and get on the right level, the Lucky level, where you feel your best and do your best. Yes, smoke a Lucky to feel your level best. The Lucky Strike Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Dane, yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, this is the first week of spring. So let's go out to Jack Benny's home in Beverly Hills where we find Rochester doing the spring cleaning. The vacuum's going, the dust is blowing, cause Benny's house must be clean. He doesn't really want his house clean. Just makes me work because he's mean. Rochester. The dirt may linger, won't lift his finger. Old day in bed he reclines, but then in bed he has to recline. He isn't really 39. Rochester. Oh, oh, oh, oh, hello, boss. Hello, hello. Hello, boss. Hello, Polly. Well, Rochester, I'm glad to see you're doing the spring cleaning. The house looks, Rochester, where are those pretty lace curtains we had on the windows? Those were cobwebs I brushed them off. Oh, the house is that dusty, it's your fault. No, it isn't, boss. I could clean the house in no time if I could use the feather duster. The feather duster? Well, why don't you use it? It's spring. At this time of year, Polly falls in love with it. Rochester, you're imagining things. No, boss, he even talks to it. Polly talks to the feather duster? Yeah, this morning she stuck her head out of the cage and said, don't just stand there in the corner, come up and see me sometime. Look. I even had to put the duster in the cage to keep her happy. Now that's ridiculous. Now go get it out of the cage and clean up the room. Well, okay. Hello, Polly. I'm sorry, but I have to take the duster. Now, let go of it. The sky is blue, the night is cold. Let go, let go, Polly. I gotta get the duster. The moon is old, but love is old. Let go. This eager heart of mine is singing. There I got it. Love will come back to me. Rochester, now that you've got the feather duster, clean the chandelier. I tried, you boys, but I can't reach it. Well, I'll do it. Now, bend down, now. Stand on your back. Huh? Go on, bend down. Like this? Yeah, bend down a little more. That's good. Now, let me get up on your back. Easy. Hold it. There. Okay, Rochester, hold still now while I dust the chandelier. Coming, coming. Rochester. Ooh. Rochester. Oh, hello, Ms. Living. Come on in. Thanks. I just came over to... Oh, hello, Phil. I didn't know you were here. That's Mr. Belly lying on the floor. What happened? Nothing, nothing. Anyway, Mary, I meant to call you. We aren't going to be able to rehearse today because I have something very important to do. Well, I'm glad I came over anyway. I got a letter from my mother, and I wanted you to hear it. A letter from your mother, eh? Well, what does the alley-con of Plainfield have to say? Just a minute. I'll read it to you. Okay. My darling daughter, Mary, just a few lines to let you know that everybody in the family is feeling fine except Susie, our cow. The cow? She's been sick for the past two months now, and your father wishes she would get well so he can have his side of the bed back. Oh, no. I'm sorry, our cow is sick, but she certainly makes the room look better. I've always wanted an early American bed, so as long as she's lying on her back, I'm using her four letters. Leave it to your mother. Of course, it isn't easy milking the cow in this position. You have to squeeze harder than usual because you're fighting gravity. Gee, where do you put the bucket? However, your father doesn't know his own strength. This morning, he squeezed so hard, the milk shot up, ripped through the canopy, and wrote, honest John, on the ceiling. That's silly. I'm sorry. You know, Mary, we've had a very long winter, but we knew it was coming. Because on February 2nd, when the groundhog came out of his hole, he saw your sister, Babe, and ran back in again. I knew she could do it. No other news, but tell Jack we're going to see the picture he produced at the Lucky Stiff at the Earl Theatre in Philadelphia next week. Well... That is, we'll go to Philadelphia if the cow gets well. We haven't got a car yet, so we'll have to wait and see what happens. We'll go to Philadelphia if the cow gets well. We haven't got a car, you know. Much love, Mama. You know, Mary, I'm proud of that picture. Claire Trevor was in it, and she just won an Academy Award. Come in! Oh, oh, hello, Dennis. Congratulations, Mr. Benny. Congratulations. Congratulations. My aunt won an Academy Award. Your aunt? Yeah, she went to the hospital last week, and yesterday she came home with a little Oscar. Oh, you mean your aunt had a baby, and they named it Oscar? Your uncle must be very proud. Is it their first child? No, they have six and three more are on the way. What? Three more children are on the way? Yeah, they're coming by bus from Fresno. Oh, oh, then they have nine children now. That's right. Five boys and three girls. Well, that's very... Wait a minute. Five boys and three girls. Dennis, that's only eight. One of them got on the wrong bus. Oh, for heaven's sake. Look, Dennis. Well, say, Mr. Benny, are we going to rehearse today? No, kid, because I have to leave in a little while. Anyway, while you're here, let me listen to the song you're going to do on the program. Okay. Very good song, Dennis. What's the title of it? Again. Oh, oh, again? I'm dedicating it to my aunt. Good, good. Say, Jack, as long as we're not going to have rehearsed today, I think that I'll run along. Come in. Hiya, Jackson. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Hiya, Jackson. Hello, Livy. You specimen of what a young man's fancy turns to. Hello, Phil. Hiya, Phil. Hey, I told you rehearsal was called off. What are you doing here? Well, look, Jackson, I started out to do some shopping in Beverly Hills, and I left home without a dime. So would you cash this check for me? Well, I don't know if I can, Phil. How much is a check for? I don't know. Read it. Alice made it out. Oh, here. Phil, Alice made this check out for $100. Yeah, I was a good boy all week. What are you going to buy, Phil? Well, I want to get 50 feet of copper coils for my car. Copper coils for your car? I'm putting in draft beer. Oh, fine. Draft beer. Yeah, I'll have the only high dramatic with a head on it. Oh, Harris, you ought to put some blue jay on your tongue. It's so carny. You can say that again, Wonga. Well, look, Yonkel, how about it? Can you cash my check for me? Well, I'm sorry, Phil. I haven't got that much money on me. Phil, if you want a loan of a few dollars, I can help you out. Nah, that ain't necessary, Libby. I'll forget about the shopping. All I'll do is go get myself a haircut. I thought you said you were broke. Can't get a haircut without any money. Jackson, they cut my hair just for the thrill of it. What a hammy guy. You know, Jack, Phil has a right to be conceited. He always looks so nice. Look at the way his clothes fit him. And look at his socks. They're bright without being loud. Glad you like them, Libby. Alice knitted them for me. They're gargoyle. That's our gargoyle. Well, a gargoyle is something ugly. Well, they ain't gonna hang these in the art museum. So long straight, man. See you again, Lib, you pretty thing. Goodbye, Phil. Goodbye, goodbye. Say, Mary, it looks like it might rain. See, look at that dark cloud hiding the sun. That's a shadow. Don Wilson's coming up the wall. Oh, yes. Oh, you Phil, where you going? Down to get a haircut. I'd save you a curl, but they're all promised. Hey, Don, Don. Right with you, Jack. Come on. Say, Don, I told you over the phone we weren't going to rehearse today. Why did you bring the quartet over? Well, Jack, there's something the sportsman want me to talk to you about. The sportsman quartet? What is it? Well, they've been with you now for four years and they came over to ask you for a raise. Oh, they have a? Uh, Jack, I'm going to leave. Why? I can't stand the sight of blood. Mary, that isn't going to be any bloodshed. Don, how much of a raise do the boys want? I'll ask them. How much do you want, boys? No, boys. I don't think he'll go that high. I don't know about that either. Well, I don't know. We'll talk about that one. That sounds reasonable. Well, thanks, Jack. Now, what kind of a number have they got prepared for the program? Well, since this is the first week of spring, the boys have something appropriate for this time of year. Spring, good, good. Now, hold it a minute, fellas. Hello? Hello, Jack, this is Ozzie Nelson. Oh, hello, Ozzie. Jack, I just called to tell you that next week Harriet and I are going to start doing our program on CBS. Well, I'm glad to hear that, Ozzie. What day are you going to be on? A Sunday. Well, I think that's Sunday? Ozzie? Ozzie? Yes. What time on Sunday? Right ahead of yours. Phew. For a minute, I thought I was going to have to sue somebody. What a relief. Hello? Hello, huh? Hello? Hello? Is that you on the extension, Harriet? Yes, Ozzie. Clean up. I've got to make a phone call. But Harriet, I'm talking to... I don't care who you're talking to. I've got to find out where our laundry hasn't come back yet. Well, I've got him on the phone now. Ask him. Well, I was going to call you about that, Harriet. Oh, hello, Jack. Hello, hello, Harriet. I was going to call you about the laundry. There'll be a little delay because I scorched your underwear. My underwear? Yes, the ones with the lace. Oh, those are Ozzie. Oh, then the H stands for his. I thought it was Harriet. Jack, since Harriet brought up the subject, I'd like to make a complaint. What is it, Ozzie? We're always open for suggestions, you know? Well, Jack, you've been putting a little too much starch in our underwear. Too much starch? Yes. You see, we don't mind it on Sundays because we have to stand up at the microphones anyway. Uh-huh. But on weekdays, we like to relax. Oh, oh, well, then I'll try to cut down on the starch. I wish you would. Every time Ozzie sits down, it sounds like he's cracking his knuckles. Well, I'll take care of it. And congratulations on coming over to CBS. I'll be listening to your first show next Sunday. Thanks, Jack. Goodbye. Goodbye. Rochester, a little less starch in the Nelson's laundry. And, uh, say, Don, why is the quartet standing there with their mouths open? Well, just before the phone rang, you told them to sing. Oh, yes! Yes, that spring song. Go ahead, fellas. Let's hear it. The flowers that bloom in the spring, The flowers that bloom in the spring As we merrily dance and we sing, We welcome the hope that they bring Of a summer of roses and wine Of a summer of roses and wine But it's not of the flowers that we want to sing Because they can't compare with this message we bring Tobacco that grows in the spring, tralla Tobacco that grows in the spring It grows in Kentucky, tralla, tralla It's put in a lucky tralla, tralla So if you're feeling low or you're tense, Gents, to light up a lucky makes sense And that's what we mean when we say that a thing Is welcome as flowers that bloom in the spring Tra-la-ta-la-la, tra-la-ta-la-la Tobacco that grows in the spring Overleave, oh, lady, oh, lady, oh, lady, oh, lady, oh Tarr-tarr-ra-boom-dee-ay Very good, boys. Very good, but you'll have to Excuse me now, fellas. I have to leave. I'm taking the Beverly Hills Beavers out on a hike. Oh, where are you going, Jack? All out in the woods camping. And, well, you know the kids will get a big kick out of it. Gee, I'm kind of late now. I better get my knapsack and hurry. When he gets here soon, me too, I'd be afraid to go on this hike and sleep out overnight if Mr. Benny wasn't gonna be with us. Yeah. We may run into a mountain lion or a wildcat. I wonder if Mr. Benny will bring a rifle along. Nah, our hands, bullets won't help. Remember how he told us how he used to wrestle alligators for a living till the Humane Society made him stop? Well, I still think we'd have more fun if we weren't without him. Look, Butch, you're a new member in the Beavers. You don't know how helpful Mr. Benny is. That's right. Remember our last hike, fellas? Well, Mr. Benny showed us how to trap that little animal with a white stripe on its back. Yeah. And then we didn't have another meeting for the next six months. Fellas say, I think Mr. Benny is one of the best Beavers in the club. Well, if he's such a loyal Beaver, how come he didn't attend our meeting last Thursday night? That wasn't his fault. He had to go to the Academy Awards. For what? He wasn't going to get nothing. Academy Awards. And my mother knew Jane Wyman was going to win it for Johnny Belinda. And she didn't even talk in the picture. For what? My father said that if Mr. Benny would keep his mouth shut, he might win something too. Butch, as president of the Beavers, I find you two cents for that remark. Find my old man, he said it. You know, I'm looking forward to this hike. I love the great outdoors, fishing and hunting. You know, hunting used to be one of my favorite sports. I bagged some big game in my time. Gee, Mr. Benny, did you ever hunt bear? Why, yes, Stevie. Hey. Hey, wait a minute. Ask me that again, Stevie. Did you ever hunt bear? No, he wore his red flannels. Now let's get going. All right. Beavers, fall into formation. Forward. March. I've been hiking for two hours now, fellas. Anyone feel tired? Not me, miss. Would you like to stop for a rest, Joey? No, I'll be all right. If you'll carry your own, never. Oh, sure, sure. Now let's stop here a minute. There's a pebble in my shoe that's bothering me. Okay, Beavers. At ease. I'll sit down here on this rock and take off my shoe. There. Dudes from the last meeting. I'll be with you in a minute, kids, as soon as I pick up the money and put my shoes back on. Gee, Stevie, what? This guy would drive a pickpocket crazy. All right, Beavers, let's move along. Hey, look, fellas, why don't we camp near this stream? All right, the stream is only about six feet wide. We can all jump it, can't we, Beavers? Sure! You made it, Stevie. Now you go, Joey. Good boy. Now you, Cliff. Nice jump. Now you, Butch. Fine. Now here I go. Hey, fellas, how about camping on this side of the street? Of course not. Step back and give me room when I land. Here goes. One, two, three. Now look, Beavers, let's all put up our pup tents. Then after dinner, we'll sit around the campfire in our pajamas, and I'll tell you a story. And there, there I was alone in this line-infested African jungle. My plight was desperate. I had no weapons. But I wasn't afraid. It was dark, and ominously quiet. And suddenly, behind me, I heard a... Yipe! Stevie, stop popping your gum! Hey, Mr. Benny, I was excited. I want to hear how you got out of it. So do I, but I'm not popping my gum. Now where was I? In the African jungle. Oh, yes. When I heard a twig snap, I whirled around, and there I stood face to face with a Bengal tiger. So I went... Wait a minute, Mr. Benny. There ain't no Bengal tigers in Africa? Not usually, no. But this tiger won two glorious weeks on a quiz program. They also painted his jungle inside and out. Now look, boys, you've all been up a half hour later than you should, so I'll finish my story tomorrow. I think we should all get into our pup tents and go to sleep. I'm sleepy too. I'm not tired. I don't want to go to sleep yet. What's the matter, Joey? Is there anything wrong? It's the first time I ever stayed away from home all night. I'm scared. But Joey, there's nothing to be scared of. I'm here. I'm scared anyway. Can I sleep in your tent with you, Mr. Benny? No, I'll be in the tent next to you. Come on, now, you've got to be brave. How do you ever expect to grow up and be president of the United States? Who wants to be president? Your wife won't even let you wear a bed and sew. Well, that's not so important. Now, come on, Beavers, I want you all to go to bed and I'll see you in the morning. Okay. Good night, Mr. Benny. Good night, Joey, and don't be frightened. I won't. Good night, fellow Beavers. Good night, Mr.... Ah, this is my tent right here. Ah, gee, it's good to lie down. The hike sure tired me out. What's that? Must be a coyote. There are no wolves around here. I don't think. Move over, Joey. I'm coming in with you. I don't want you to be frightened. Good night. Good night, Mr. Benny. How'd you like my imitation of a coyote? Oh, was that you? Thank goodness. I mean, good night. Good night, Joey. Jack, we'll be back in just a moment. But first... Feeling tense. Please get words or... Mocker lucky. To be your level best. Mocker lucky. To be your level best. Yes, Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low, calms you down when you're tense. Put you on the right level to feel and do your level best. That's why it's so important for you to select and smoke the cigarette of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. Remember, L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. No wonder more independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen smoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined. Yes, Lucky's are the overwhelming choice of the men who really know tobacco. So when you choose your cigarette, remember that Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low, calms you down when you're tense. Put you on the right level to feel your best and do your best. Mocker lucky. To be your level best. Yes, that's how to get on the Lucky level. Next time you buy cigarettes, ask for a carton of Lucky Strike. Mocker lucky. To be your level best. This is CBS The Columbia Broadcasting System.