 At brick rock battles of Half-Wife, Barney Calhoun vs. Adrian Shepard begins! Hey, yo, it's Ardian, I'm a freakin' Marine, and my school's witherines. Most new content out of every expansion, and my multiplayer mode will have you dancing. Why you save the worst character when you let the rest die? Your game could be beat in a twink of Guinness. That's not true, what about Lost Coast, and your speedrun is only 20 minutes at most? Your ship's not my only game, I'm in Half-Life 2 and Episode 1. What about you? Only one. Opposing force? A barnacle gun sucks. I save Rosenberg, the Lord sucks on my nuts. Your game might be longer, but my zen has more joy. And I actually escaped. G-man left you in the void. Oh, wow, wow, that was a good voice for Barney Calhoun. It's me, Gordon Barney from Black Mesa. Who's this? Who's this coming up? Is that... Oh my god! Gordon Freeman? Here comes the Gordil. I got four games total. Your games suck balls? Yeah, they suck on my Skordil. Smash you open like a vending machine full of soda. Hey, Barney, aren't you behind on your beating quota? Call me G-man, I'm activating RAP-BOMB. Rats, Arsino, Blue Ungun, and Tau Cannon. I'm the one free man. You guys aren't even canon.