 Welcome to the 21 convention in Miami, Florida guys real treat here I've had the pleasure of knowing this guy on an acquaintance level for many years But then had the true pleasure to interview him that interviews actually on the 21 convention channel And it's an amazing thing, but not only that I've gotten to know his entire coaching staff and just amazing people clients amazing people Truly teaching us about ease, delight, love and beauty the founder of ours Amarata, Zan Perrion Let's have a talk Okay, I Thought about I debated I thought about what I was going to talk about today Usually I just wing it I come over the opening sentence, and I just like Start to wing it But I want to talk about a subject today And I'll try and explore it in various ways. So if I ramble a bit and jump around just just Bear with me and the something I want to talk about Which is strong on my mind and has been for many years is the concept and the idea of us Men being men in other words our sexual spirit and our masculine edge The mystique we have as men the Beautiful God-given gift of our sexual desire which in the West Which we're all a product of is Anathema It's wrong. So I want to talk about that and I'm going to explore it and I'm going to think about things as I go that I've discovered over the years and And and see if we can see if we can come to some kind of It's an energetic thing. I'm going to talk about so I've always been interested in the kind of man who women adore and You know what I'm talking about You guys know somebody in college or something that you knew that he wasn't very tall. It wasn't very good-looking He had no money. He was kind of a slaw, but girls loved him. He always had girls around him And I wanted to know what is the energy of that man compared to the rest of us who were doing We're trying to analyze things and trying to analytically analytically figure things out Trying to say the right thing do the right thing to get girls and this guy just like oh, just be yourself. I Want to understand that and I spent my entire life trying to understand that man and that energy and Why do they have a vibration that the rest of us do not have and how can we have it for ourselves? Why do women why do women encounter him and the next day she can't stop thinking about him She's daydreaming. She's in her office and she's playing with her pencil. She's looking out the window Thinking about that guy. That's the only thing. I think that is Has any merit and has any kind of what's the only subject I want to talk about and Truly, I think it's the only subject we need I really do The only thing we need we're great. We're a great generation of nice guys We're charming. We learn how to talk. We're we're learning how to approach girls We're learning how to be where to go to take a girl in a date, but there's no Edging us There's no lower energy These men have a vibration that moves down into the earth like this It's a lowered center of gravity and women can feel it and they go like what they might not even be attracted to him But they go that guy So this is what I've this is what I've been trying to understand all my life for myself And I wrote a book about it called the alabaster girl And you guys all have a bookmark on your on your place in front of you and If and I'll send you a free copy. I'll sign and send it to you from Romania where I live If you go to the website alabaster girl calm, I'll send you a copy I'll sign it and send it to you put your email in there or your mailing address It's just snail mail address and I'll send you a physical copy so the book I tried to write it took me ten years to write it and I tried to capture in there what I've learned in my Years I'll say my story very quickly because I don't want to belabor this point In my I grew up in the in the wilderness of Northern Canada. I Left home when I was 13 My education stopped at 13 I don't have any education beyond that except for self-education and So I went into the wilderness and I helped a mount man run his trap line I wore moccasins on my feet had a fur hat a you know a knife on my side and That was my background and I and I and I was that from 13 years old till 1819 So my teenage years were not spent in a high school type situation Certainly not a college situation Where you learn your social graces you learn your the dynamic of men and women in that's your part of your social education I didn't get it. So I came out of there into the cities of the world and I liked girls More than anything in my life. I like girls crazy, I dedicated my life to that subject and So my 20s remember this I was my teens. I was like in the wilderness my 20s. I I Did everything I could to try and understand women and I tried and failed There is no story. I promise you this There's no story you have about being rejected or lost or confused or or or or Desiring somebody and they don't want you back that I don't have I have embarrassing stories for my 20s Massively embarrassing stories I so I did my but I stayed I wanted to understand it. I want to understand women. I wanted so I spent my whole 20s Trying to understand the concept of female energy and and women and their relationship to me massively rejected across the board and If something happened, I'd be like what happened. How did I get lucky on this? I had no clue. No clue Then about my 30s. I remember this is before Anything like the seduction community. This is I'm an old guy. I'm 52 So this is before the internet Just before there's any kind of instruction or boot camps or workshops or books on the subject at all. There's nothing I Read the the memoirs of Casanova That's all there was so So here I am in my my my my 20s and I and I was like So insecure and so lost I would go to the bar by myself and I'm standard like I'm not gonna approach a girl I was too ashamed and too afraid. So I'd be like this and I'd kind of like lean on the bar till 2 o'clock in the morning when the bar closed hoping something would happen I Was massively insecure and That was my 20s my 30s then I started to go I started to think because I did my my time I did my 10,000 hours. If you know the concept of that I did 10,000 hours trying to understand women I did nothing else. I've had no other hobbies in my entire life I want to know women like I play a bit of guitar, but that's because I like I wanted me girls. I Remember like I like the guys in I was in Vancouver and in some of the guys who works there listen We're gonna go on we have this fishing boat. We're gonna go off the coast of Vancouver Island We're gonna cast nets into the sea and go out there for you know captain a have and in two weeks We go out there and like and and fight the elements and grow beards and yeah, I want to do that I want to do that. Yeah, I'm cut wait. Is there any big girls out there and I wouldn't go There's no girls. I'm not gonna go So that was So that was my whole background So with my 30s is when this thing started with the synapses started to fire I was like wait a minute. You just said this to me girl and I heard this a hundred times before and It meant something use and I thought it meant this but I think it means this I started to get some understanding homegrown I had nobody to help me nobody So So I wrote a book in my 40s Took me from 40 to 50 years old now the bastard girl. It's everything. I've ever learned Everything I've learned in all those years is in that book It's like I something vomited out of my system I had to get it out So read it and if you if you read it send me a message of you if you read the comments and thoughts about it It's it's really it's my life work while my next book too, but anyway so that's my truncated story Now then So this concept of men who get it Who moves to the land of women with ease who women say oh, yeah, that's just him He you have to date me three times to make sure that you're a good guy, but him. No, he doesn't count You all know what I'm talking about right this guy's you just like have a free pass from women How's this possible? It's like women are on the stage and they're giving out all the all the prizes you get a prize and you don't It's like they're the ones in control Like and we don't know what's going on. That's why we say that have the concept of getting lucky because if we feel I don't know what happened Right. Oh this girl had sex. I don't know why Right and a whole community developed around that. Why did that girl or how to make that girl or to how to get this girl to right and And you know when the community came along I mean like Neil Strauss wrote the book the game I was way back in the day if you guys know anything about me at all. I Was back in the day. It was one of the original guys back then talking about it in Anyway But I wrote the book I wrote this book. I'm not kidding guys. I wrote this book for me I wrote it for my young self if I had this when I was 18 19 If I had somebody to say you know what it's gonna be okay And we didn't get it We didn't have a hero to look up to in our generation we didn't have a father figure that said son This is how you hold an axe. This is how you this is how you work in a car And this is how you treat a woman. We didn't get it We didn't get that our generations generation has been failed as men This is why we're scratching our head. This is why we were afraid of the women because we we didn't get that We didn't get what we've always had in history, which is a rite of passage We've always had in all of cultures of all of history every culture of the world has had a rite of passage From boys to men the sue Native Americans had the vision quest and they would take a young man and there's a boy and they say go into the wilderness and Speak your name And you go into the wilderness. He's naked and scared and he's like cold and afraid and he go out there for days Maybe weeks and he'd come back After finding his totem animal This is this is in a lot of cultures and then when he came back they would say Now you can stand with the men stand here the concept imagine this the concept of teenager Including the word teenager did not exist before 1950 The word teenager is invented since 1950. There was no concept of teenager in all of history until now there was boys and men and We didn't get that our generation has been failed That's why you're experiencing what you're feeling Experiencing this this loss of connection with women loss of connection with the female spirit loss of connection with your masculine edge and your sexual beauty We've been failed our society has let us down. It's not your fault Just let us down and so That I wrote this book for that little boy who was lost and scared came out of the wilderness and liked the girls but was so massively rejected from girls and And tried to be cool and tried to learn things tried to like be this guy Tried to like get somebody to Like me and I was so insecure because I thought who would like me. I Didn't I didn't have an education. I didn't have like who would want me every else has got this cool car and I had this feeling all his years and it's like What you learn is this gentlemen Look at you guys and I and I see myself. I really do and here's what I'm gonna say to you There is nobody going to help you But you You look in the mirror and you this is what you do now you look in the mirror and say you suck You know you tried to talk to the girl last night and she's like but you weren't funny enough and you suck You're not good enough and That has got to change That story has got to change And it's a simple matter of choosing a gentleman all you have to do is this and because your father's not there They're gonna tell you it's gonna be okay, son. Here. Here's how you be strong We have no heroes anymore our heroes are 18 year old rap stars. I want to be like that guy who has no clue either this celebrity culture So your whole thing from now on and I mean this very sincerely is it's up to you to look yourself in the mirror look yourself in the eye and say I've got you. It's gonna be okay You have to raise yourself because nobody's gonna do it Nobody's gonna do it for you The Bible says you know when I was a child. I spake as a child when I became a man I put away childish things and it's that critical and that deep and that Absolute that has to happen. We're a generation of boys who are trying to date girls. We're a tinder swiping We're a generation of boys used to play with PlayStation where boys we play PlayStation now, but now we're having fun We're not having fun anymore You see And I'm saying it's strong and I hope you get it strong and I hope you feel the energy of what I'm saying because it's to me It's to myself I wish I would have had a message but there's no message for men. That's real This is fundamental that goes to the core of who we are as men, which is lost in this day and age An interesting thing happened in the last 30 years 30 ish years. I don't know and that is this for all of history men which I see here in the audience had the concept of duty You had the duty to your country duty to your family duty to your community Duty to your fellow man duty to your brothers You had the concept of duty. We had that in her soul in her system In our culture, right? Concept of duty. It has been replaced today by the concept of rights I Have the right to do this and I have the right to not have and we have this generation That has been protected with their little bike helmets Who grew up and are offended in our universities and offended by everything and and and and and We're little snowflakes Something's wrong Something has gone wrong Where this generation of like Fragile beings who need protection. We want everything to protect us because I might be offended the universities in the West Use to teach intellectual pursuits now instead of intellectual education. It's an emotional education Everything's dedicated to like teach them how to be offended and to take a fence And it's wrong I'll stand up and I'll say it and that's gentlemen Who we are and who you're dating you see that what we're missing is our generation Is this conviction of men this desire to to Imagine this our sentences go up at the end We ask a girl we we say to a girl. Hey listen, it was like It was nice talking to you. Would you like to go for coffee sometime? Oh, I have a boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a boyfriend. I just I didn't mean anything by it That was we flinch We have intent we don't say statements anymore You I'm I'm not talking about anything practical, but here's something practical for you Stop saying questions to women start shifting that into statements by that. I mean Imagine you said to this girl. It was nice talking to you. Would you like to get coffee sometime? That sounds like a great Thing of reaching out and talking to women, right? Sounds good, but if you change it into a statement Instead of saying hey, it was nice talking to you. Would you like to have coffee sometime? You say this It was nice talking to you. I would like to have coffee with you sometime Or we should have coffee sometime and we should go with Thursday night. What are you doing? Let's Cancel your plans if you change your little these queries into statements Suddenly what happens in you is something shifts into an energetic leadership role and She can feel it statements instead of questions Hey, I would like to have coffee. It'd be great. That's a great way of saying it makes sense Little bit of like a micro adjustment Compared to the micro aggressions and triggering that we have in our modern society Which you guys all know you're all aware of that Our convictions, you know, we don't draw the line in the sand anymore We say listen to to women or to men or to anything thus far shalt thou go and no further We're a generation of beige asexual men We're closet heterosexuals Right Time to come out of the closet And I'll tell you like I'm coming out here strong guys because you know what? It's the fight of your lives. I Hope you feel the energy of it because it is that important. It is the fight of your lives We say we want change but we don't really Right you say you want a girlfriend now you don't really Because you know why it's easier to complain to yourself and say I'm not good enough Then it is to go out there and actually meet women there's entire programs and and and and Webinars and seminars devoted to this concept of approach anxiety or the fear of rejection. I Have the fear of rejection. I don't want to talk about a few reject because what if she she's a boyfriend, right? The fear of rejection, but you know what is even stronger. I think for men In this generation the fear of success Because what if she likes you what if you went up there and she's you said hey Like you look you're pretty and I like you what if she likes you now You have to be interesting and dynamic and stop playing world of warcraft on the weekends and hang out with a girl So when you sabotage yourself Well, okay, I don't do that. So like it's a fear of success is just as strong or maybe more strong than the fear of failure Because you're used to your security blanket That's cold and moldy and wet and holding you down, but you're used to it To throw it off is scary. It's scary. Your comfort zone is is You see We're afraid of that fear of success It's that important is the fight of your lives I went to Panama when I was writing this book I went there for four months to sit in the jungle and work on my book sat in the same shorts and t-shirt for like four months sweating my everything off and I came out of there from the people who are who are have Very little anything but they're happy people and I went into Amsterdam to do a major seminar for after four months of the jungle I went there and all I could think the whole time is Was This me centric generation Reality TV self-help multi-billion-dollar industry What do you do for me? This is the women of the world. What do you do for me? Where are we gonna be in five years? What does this mean? What it's all me where it's navel gazing. We're centered on ourselves There's no sense of communion with brothers and sisters that there's no community anymore at all even though we think we're on Facebook and We're not there's no sense of connection And you can feel it you feel it everywhere. There's no sense of gathering and and and brothers and arms and any of this kind of stuff and Me centric generation it's We're overladen with If you watch a lot of porn which probably a lot of guys and audience do you turn it off at the end and what do you see reflected in the screen? you Just you and That hurts that hurts you feel it right here. It's just you there. That's it This is where our failing is This is my crusade So I wrote a book for my young self so I could so if I only had those answers then when I was being insecure and Not sincere and manipulative and trying to be this cool guy only I had this so The question to ask yourself gentlemen a big question a fundamental question, which is the question of my next book is this What exists because of you the thought I what a thought What exists do you feel the energy of that? Everything else is small Girl doesn't text you back. That's small What exists because of you? So my whole Thing that I've been trying to understand and trying to talk about is the polarity which we've lost in this world of men Being men women being women the masculine edge of the masculine spirit of men is a thrusting nature. It's a penetrative energy We can't penetrate our women. We can't penetrate our lives. We can't penetrate our businesses. We can't we're like oh We're apologetic. It's okay. It's good enough. We're beige We can't penetrate anymore and I'll say this is politically incorrect and I'll get slammed for it and I don't care The energy of women is a receiving energy to receive that penetration to receive that masculine energy into the feminine spirit and To rebirth it to give it rebirth The true feminine spirit which is gone from the earth just like the true masculine spirit is gone from the earth The true feminine spirit is a regenerative life-giving energy and If you have and I know you have if you ever been in the presence of a woman that has just even 10% of that beautiful feminine grace You'll never forget her till the day you die. Am I right? Some woman that was just kind and gave you of her generous Feminine spirit breaks your heart. He breaks your heart If you make love To a beautiful woman That is way out of your league quote-unquote Who's a beautiful generous energy of receiving your masculine spirit and giving you the rebirth? That would crave if you're in bed with that woman and she gives you that energy You almost cry it breaks your heart and it's rare As a tiger Lily. It's rare It's a rare spirit When you make love to a beautiful woman imagine this guys all is forgiven all The rejections you had all the mistakes you made talking to women all the the mess ups you made when you thought It's all forgiven everything's forgiven You reset That's Like I said, it's politically incorrect. I'll say it You know like like if I worked at a if I was a professor, I'd lose my tenure if I was a working in Meteor something I'd lose my job. I can't I can't so I'll say it This is the receiving role of women and There's countless women out there trying to restore that balance to believe me You hear all the this strong feminist Bitchy agenda you hear this all the strong men beating their chest painting their faces take back the power from women That's 20% of the voices guys 80% is the silent majority who of men and women who really want restoration one wanted one a beautiful balance again of Polarity of men and women of this beautiful magnetic energy that attracts We don't have that we have sameness We are all born under this so-called second wave equality movement and the goal of the equality movement was equality And we didn't get it 60 years later. We still don't have a quality. We have sameness Men are more like women women are more like men and there's no attraction in that at all We go to our offices and you have to be eyes front if you comment Hey, I like you. Hey, you look nice today sexual harassment You can't even say that you offended me and I have protection powers to Just to take a dump on you because of that Right, so we have to be asexual underneath the fluorescent lights in our offices asexual eyes front Everyone's Everyone has no gender And then you're supposed to turn it on in the weekend when you go out There you go. That's our problem You can't um And then I see a guy say to me this well women are mean They're not nice Yeah, well women have their own work to do gentlemen We can't wait for them It's off to you It's up to you to stand on this earth and say you know what no more I want I want to have a great path. I like one of a spirit of adventure Spirit of treasure hunting spirit of mystery spirit of like I like nice things you look like a nice thing. What's your name? Women are mean and they're rejecting and they're the ones in power and they're the ones that pick I like you but I don't like these guys We seemingly think but women are not to blame Women are just as women are no more enlightened or aware or aware than you are They're just as lost and confused and scratched on their head too It's what it's what we're this is our modern age And it's time for a generation of men to say no more Let's let's stand on this earth not in a fight against women not in a fight against this energy But in a reclamation of the beautiful God-given gift of masculine sexuality In our western world If you're a man You're this close to being a rapist and and and we need to on college campuses and in universities and in organizations Programs to teach you how not to rape That's a sin That's a sin Fight it with everything you've got because that's a sin. That's wrong If you go near a playground you're a pedophile That's you you pedophiles I can see pedophile eyes here everywhere. You see that? That's wrong I don't buy it. I I'll fight against it. I don't care who says anything about me. I don't care It's a fight of our lives But it's not a fight against women remember that Women are lost to women have been sold a bill of goods to women have been Taught the wrong things. It's not a fight against that as a fight against it's a fight for a new spirit of regeneration Is men and women and the polarity which is a beautiful thing today? We're all gender fluid. I identify that's okay I talk in absolutes. I talk about men being men women being women and there's other people who identify with different things That's okay. I don't talk about that I'm talking about extremes and I am I'm extreme And I get blasted by feminists. They say well, I don't care I'll say it anyway Because they know No, because I know that there's a volume And I tell you this guys you've been with bad women Who've been mean to you who've been vindictive and bitchy and and petty and And small-minded and all these things just like this vindictive bitchy petty small-minded men In all the years and all my time I've ever met women who are like mean not good spirited women not nice people I've met a lot of women who have good who have gracious hearts And there's a lot of them out there To believe it don't lose hope because I don't lose hope And then guys say to me well because I've been saying I wrote my book I said, you know what head toward the light and only light. I don't talk about like social I'm talking about tonight I don't talk about social conditions and what's happening in the world today and politics and stuff that Because I want to focus on the light What's beautiful? What is beauty? This book is if somebody said to me in the elevator, what's your book about one word? I'm not kidding. I would say it's about beauty We're missing beauty in art in architecture In everything we've lost the aesthetic thing which we used to have from the Greeks and the Romans of the golden rectangle And everything had to be everything had to be in proportion and and beauty was one of the elements with truth And everything else that was revered And not today and everything's all like art is a cow cutting sections And an artist taking a shit in a can that's art Right We've lost it's that it's true We've lost aesthetic beauty and and in my missions there is to speak to reclaim that so So That's your mission too. That's what I'm trying to say to you I hope you can get this I hope you can feel the energy of what I'm trying to say because it's up to you And if you can take this mission into your heart To speak truth to women say you know what I like this is how it is This is why I'm I'm nervous to talk to you, but I want to talk to you anyway Your life will change and the world will change We're waiting for things for women to be nice to us waiting for things to change and be better. It's not going to happen It's up to you This is for you guys. This is for you. Do you feel it? It's for you It's for my young self my name is 19 and lost and crying for girls This is for you It's for you. Absolutely for you for you We say well, I can't live a life of adventure and because like Because I have to first do that In all of history gentlemen We said, okay, we have I had this bad childhood So like this is why I'm insecure and and have this bad childhood in all of history Was there any ever a time of good childhoods? There was disease and pestilence and migration and and wars and famine Every child before you grew up seeing destruction and death and disease and trouble and famine starvation Getting thrust out of homes and we're whining There has never been happy children happy childhoods ever There's been trauma in all childhoods and we have to resolve our childhood. I don't think so You have to go to therapy to resolve your childhood. No, you don't You're abused. You're abandoned. You were we all were gentlemen in all of history We stand on your earth and say no more no more. It's your job. Nobody's gonna do it. Nobody's gonna give you that lift up Here's what you do. You look in the mirror instead of saying you suck You're not good for anything. Nobody will ever love you You look in the mirror and you say this Say this is this is your new thing that you call yourself from now on I'm a student of life If you can call yourself a student of life from this day forward to the day you die You can do no wrong If you talked to a girl last night and she's like And you go home and instead of saying you know what you suck. You should have been more funny. You should have been more You can say hey At least i'm a student of life Were you sincere when you talked to that girl last night? Were your heart sincere? Were you trying to be nice and trying to be interesting and trying to be funny, right? You were sincere and she's being shutting you down and being bitchy to you You can go home say at least i'm a student of life at least i showed up now If you're sincere you can you can do no wrong you have no You did know you did nothing to to beat yourself up about You showed up you showed up as a man at least i like nice girls and trying to see if you're a nice girl I get it that you're not That's okay too I will move my energy somewhere else We want security, you know like before i This generation i get guys ask me all the time how do i like you know I want to live a life of adventure and and go into this world But first i have to save up all this money and have to like Imagine this 200 years ago 300 years ago 400 years ago 500 years ago guys are going into wooden ships There was no medical insurance They didn't have savings Going into into into whatever They didn't have the backup plan they didn't have plan b. They didn't have like a okay At least i can go to an atm get some cash out of my parents and call my parents If i get in trouble It's strong guys I hope you can feel what i'm trying to say because I wish i had it It's a message to me. I promise you that This is why women have no women will have sex with you Because they're horny or you and you smell nice and there's nobody else and she's She's ovulating She'll have sex with you But she doesn't think is she thinking about you the next day The question i asked myself when i was young i thought this popped into my mind and it shocked me and it broke my heart and made me cry Which is this Every there's only one woman here. Hello dear. Sorry There's only one woman here, but i'll say this Every woman Is thinking about somebody Imagine that My question asked myself when i was young I looked in the mirror and i said because they hit me hard and said wait a minute. Have you ever been a woman's fantasy? If not, why not? She's thinking about somebody When she's in the shower she's in her bed. She's daydreaming out the way she's and she's she's excited about Somebody she's thinking about she's fantasizing about some guy Is it is it i said this to me is it you Has it ever been you ask yourself that question? Is there a woman out there in this world right now who's fantasizing about you as she's laying in bed? She's having a sexual fantasy about you If not, why not? Because they're thinking about somebody This is the energy we have to fight for this is where we're going And this is the only place to go And i believe in it 100 percent And i believe in it for you a hundred percent I really do Security you know we want this like we have one assurances if you want security go out here in miami and kill somebody You'll have maximum security You'll have every meal covered you'll you'll be you Right you have security you want security there you go Tennessee williams said a security is a kind of death If you have this and if you have the impulse and the energy and the thought process and the gut is saying I can't do this job anymore. I have to go and fight for something else You have to follow with all your heart no matter you Don't worry about money money will follow you Don't wait for don't wait to have savings that'll find if you go it's going to find you You think well if I like if I go out and follow my dreams I'll be living under a bridge and sleeping in a cardboard box and pushing a shopping cart But I tell you this The guy told us to me like years ago and it's true Nobody who's living under a bridge pushing a shopping cart and sleeping in a cardboard box is there because he followed his dreams Nobody I saw an interview with morgan freeman And he said when I was a morgan freeman a revered actor An actor's actor And when he was young He said you know what the acting wasn't working And I tried and I couldn't get any jobs and I was so broke and so hungry. He was living in my car And I said I have to quit acting But he said I kept going I kept going kept going and he said the lesson I learned Because I kept going it was this If you keep going if you take he said this if you step your foot into nothing Your foot will always hit Something and he said this which is remarkable. Remember what I'm about to say. He said this What I learned is if you continue with beyond the point of of hope and beyond the point of Redemption beyond the point of any possibility of continuance If you keep going Whatever it is Somebody will come into your life and give you the next step Not something somebody will arrive in your life Give you the next step it always that's the way it works The way it works Absolutely, it works that way So like I'll say this I'll take questions at the end but I've got 30 minutes left Um, I know I'm I'm I'm talking very philosophical But I hope you guys get the energy in the in the and I hope you can feel what I'm trying to say because I I mean with all my heart. I really do There's nothing else you need to know There's nothing else you need to know All the techniques and all this like talk to this girl Stand with your shoulders like this and like go like this and none of it matters If you're heading into the size of your life, you know the size of your problems is the size of your life imagine that If your problem is how do I get this girl to text me back Well, what do I do? Well, how do I pay my phone bill? That's as large as your life is going to get If your problem is how do I get some clean water into this this village in Africa? That's a lot your life is a lot bigger Things like the girl not texting you back in your phone bill that doesn't matter take care of itself The size of your problems the size of your life so I'll say a little bit of a metaphor and I hope you guys get it because What I tried to capture in here and it's so powerful. I tried to write about the energy of men who women adore They get a free pass I tried to write about what is it? What do they have? What is the qualities that they have? What is the spirit that they have? And you know, if you if you if you start from here, which is the center of gravity as a man here I don't know anything about chakras, but if you do imagine your Center whatever chest heart chakra You start from an energy force from here as a man, okay? This is this is incredibly important. You start from here like this Your energy as a man moves out into the world from here and it goes up and out It goes like this And it's a beautiful masculine energy. This is you being charming being humorous being inviting being gracious This is you saying would you like some more wine? This is you saying hey, can I get your coat for you? This is you telling a joke and this is you. Hey guys nice to meet you This is a great beautiful upper energy masculine beauty charm empathy sympathy humor all these beautiful qualities of man Comes from here and moves out into the world imagine you're on a job interview Everything about you is high You're sitting across the table from the interview. Yes. I did this and even your eye contact is high You can feel it, right? You're like lifting you're you're straight up as an arrow like this and you're like yes And now I did this and yeah and you're everything is high energy and it's a beautiful energy. It's a beautiful masculine energy And it's needed Now imagine from the same center of gravity here you sent your same heart Or originating place There's an equal counter balancing energy that is necessary to be a man This is an energy that goes down And out into the world It's low on the floor If you vibrates has a vibration Everything's about is lower Your voice is lower. Everything's lower This is your sexual desire Which in the west Is a bad thing toxic You rapist right This is you Why don't you depend the world over this is you seeing a heart shaped asset? I like this I like that That's your it's and I tell you this it's It's given to you by god you fail God women men society everything when you like Block off that energy which we all do Our western society has been taught Eyes front respectful Don't have any kind of this sexual energy at all and it's wrong It's wrong Your sexual energy that moves on to the it's like it's kind of like bass that flows on the floor boom Boom boom and women can feel it they can feel it when they're an energy of an energy of a man Who has that sexual vibration that floats on the floor? But here's the key And here's the key You need both Both energies If you're only this upper energy guy, which all the dating advice out there All the mainstream media how to be more humorous how to take toast masters how to be tell a joke How to be more tell story storytelling how to be more interesting How to be a what a girl would take a girl on a date is all all of the instruction for men Is how to be more of this nice guy upper energy If you're only upper energy When you say to a girl, hey, I like you would like to go for coffee. She says I have a boyfriend You're top heavy and you fall over You flinch. Oh, I didn't mean anything by it. You didn't mean anything by it You didn't you I have a boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know he had a boyfriend. You're sorry because she had a boyfriend Okay, okay, I respect that and I'm doing my job as a man So this upper energy is what's being taught. This is why we have a generation of nice guys You're either In your basement suite playing world of warcraft not going out and meeting girls or you're being taught upper energy things Which are good things But if they don't have the counterbalance of that beautiful lower thrusting energy That's spanking energy if you don't have that Then you're a nice guy Women are dating nice guys and and men are learning. Okay. How to go down on a woman How to her anatomy the reading all these books and programs and like how to please the woman How to massage you with right oils and candles for the right They're pleasing women And women say I want that guy. Yeah, sign me up. No, you don't You don't want that guy Guy goes down to you for 45 minutes. You could get yourself off in two minutes with your fingers But it's nice. It feels good. That's cool But you have no there's nothing in him that makes you think this guy's incredible You see Nothing in us that makes women say, wow, I can't stop thinking about that guy. He's never That's what's missing So and if you're only lower energy you're a creep If you don't have it balanced if you're the sexual guy Look at a women's boobs and you don't have a balance with charm and humor and empathy and kindness and full respect You're a creep But if you have both our generation has only upper energy. There you go. That's what we have Welcome to my history Only upper energy So afraid to show that we have this sexual desire to which is like I said given by god So afraid to show it and society you can't say it. Oh, no, that's bad right Is this lining with you guys? Make sense. This is why we're here It's why we have this problem in our lives, which we're trying to sort this thing out. It's why women are going. Where's the real men? Every country I go in the world the women are saying, where are the real men? Women are doing both roles. They're being the man and the woman because the men are not showing up Woody Allen said Woody Allen said this This 80% of success is just showing up And we're not doing that. Yeah, I'm not kidding Like we have pickup artists guys out there saying listen, they take you out and you pay me money and I'll take you out I'll send you to 25 different sets Okay, at the end of the night, you think this is incredible I had like 19 rejections and six girls smiled and three girls smiled at me and two gave me the phone number. It's incredible Whatever you taught me works incredibly We think that's incredible. That's powerful But you know what he did he took you out of your basement suite And he fired you into the land of women for the first time maybe in your life If you did it yourself You went out there and said i'm gonna talk to 25 girls tonight. What's today? Saturday Friday he went out tonight and said i'm gonna go up to 25 girls and say hi I'm zen. That's all I know and you look cute. I don't want to say hi You did it 25 times. You're gonna get 19 girls. I flick flick Lint, right you're gonna get that But you're also gonna girls go. Oh, that's nice to meet you and it's gonna get girls. I like you It's the way it works But we don't do it because we think we're not Good enough showing up. That's it It's if you went up and women have told me this over the years If we're gonna have to women say listen, I'm really nervous to talk to you because you're beautiful to me But I want to say hi What's your name? You know how many women have told me that's endearing to me They don't care if you're nervous They care if you have a hidden agenda. You're trying to be cool They don't care about an agenda. They care about a hidden agenda You see So there's upper and lower energy guys Does that make sense? It's like a it's like a tree that has foliage and birds and flowers And it's a great masculine energy and you need to learn more of that. That's good toast masters Learn how to be more funny as I've got but if it isn't counterbalanced with the roots that go down Low which is your your dark forest your mystique Your desire to bend the world over If women can't feel that from you if if women can't feel listen, you're you're cute and your girlfriend's cute and I like you And we're like to know your names. I would like to meet you again And if you come near me, I'm gonna bend you over. That's true and you're gonna like it if they can't feel that You're a nice guy They need to feel that energy that They need to feel I'll say this and it's not politically correct. This one camera is true, but Take the context of what I'm saying the whole thing if they can't feel your danger The dangerous part of you Eh They'll let you go down on them They'll date you But they don't lost after you do you understand what I'm saying They don't think about you like speaking Chinese when you're in their head And that's the only place to go So all the things like we say well, listen, I'm going to talk to this girl and I'm going to say this I'm going to put my shoulders like this and then I'm going to turn the way like this and I'll go back All that is is a is an approximation of like a real man saying you know what I'm nervous But I want to come say hi to you and what's your name? What's your friend's name? And I like you and I don't know why We compliment a girl on her eyes. Hello you or her hair. Oh, you have this beautiful blah blah blah blah This nice guy right right and then we learn you can't do that You can't compliment because it's too needy So we stopped doing that And so we started like knocking them down a bit Right I compliment highly But you know what I compliment women on And it's the truth because the truth is what I see. I don't compliment on her eyes. She's heard it all her life or Her hair or whatever. I say Because what I'm attracted to is the energy of a woman and the way she moves She's wearing a dress and the way the dress moves around her body and I compliment that If you guys want to change your relationship with women Compliment her energy. So you know what? I'm gonna say this to you. I don't know who you are I'm zan. You have a great. There's something about you. I was over there with my friends I had to come over and say hi to you because something about your energy is something about your aura. It's incredible She's never been complimented on that before And that's what it is. That's attractive to you attractive to you I'll say this last thing and then I can take a couple questions. Okay. I got a few minutes I said I started out my life to try and understand the energy of men who women adore Men who have women in lives all the time women take care of them. They just they love them, right? You know what it is the number one? Well, it's complex, but I'll I'll try and some into a little simple thing The men of all of history Who have women in their lives who love them and take care of them have two qualities Count to balancing remember upper law and energy. I talked about They have this They're simultaneously two women a father figure That says don't cross this line. I like you. Don't do this. I don't like that. I like you, but I don't like your behavior Imagine that what a phrase to say What a phrase to say to a beautiful beautiful woman, you know, I'm gonna say this to you I like you and I don't like this behavior. I don't like it, but I like you powerful So there's a father figure that says to put her in her place Don't cross this line because I have this is the way I want it to be my dear It's kind It's gentle. It's invitational. It's sweet. You're not think I don't like this when you blah, blah, blah, blah It's none of that kind of energy. It's like listen listen, baby. Listen. I like you. I don't like this behavior. Don't do it again Look at my eyes. Don't do it again That father figure saying no, don't do it. No, I don't like it I don't like it Powerful men that have women in lives have that spirit at the same time They have the spirit of these little boys who are lost And they're and and it calls to the life-giving mother Essence of women which they have I don't care what modern society and media says they have it In other words, there's a little boy caught in the cookie jar like this and mother walks in And he's standing on the stool like this And she goes, what are you doing? And he goes Okay, well, you're so cute. You can have a cookie In other words, the strongest men with women are men who say don't cross this line. I don't like it I don't like that behavior And there's simultaneously little boys who are like needing help and and they can't Adjust their color and women have to wash behind their ears and like If you if you're only this cool guy who's got a hundred percent figured out and you don't give the women The chance the woman in your life the relationship your life to take care of you and like to inspire you and to be to be that woman for you You rob her of everything She wants to take care of you too And that's why women in relationship will start drama and start fights and start poking at the guy because There's no energy this like you just like this flat line guy So they try and cause a drama or cause a fight or cause some kind of like trouble because of that So this is the conclusion that I've ever come in my life. I've never heard anybody in my life say it Men who love women are loved by women. That's the way it works They get a free pass now this If you're the the man of all of history who have women who just like oh, that's just him He gets away with it. You have to prove something to me. No, that's just him. He's on our side He's on our side. You guys know what I'm talking about This man who get a free pass well Is because they have this strong father figure engine. Don't don't here's here's how I want it to be, baby I want you to be like this and that's what I wanted to be and that will not bend on that Instead of following her around We hear about this leadership energy guys are guys are being taught this If you want to do something you tell the girl I want to do this. I want I choose this movie but There's no point in that With my girlfriend. I say hey, baby. Listen, let's go to a movie today. Why would you like did you have a preference? Because I don't care and if she's right and if she says, um You know, I don't I'm not sure this one then I decide. Okay. Okay. I'll decide. Let's go So there's still a give and take is still an energy of that You see I'm not I'm not demanding my way or the highway. No, no, no not at all I love my girl and you want to do this. Okay, baby. Let's go. I'll go I'll go with you because I like you and I want to do it So that's that strong leadership energy says no, don't cry. But if she crosses the line I don't like it, baby. Listen. Don't listen to me. Listen to my voice. Look at my eyes. I don't like it I like you but don't do this I don't want it in my life. I don't want this energy around me. Don't do it You see at the same time If you give that I'm emphasizing this point. I know if you give her the ability to Take care of you and her mother instinct comes out There's something called the warrior's repose Imagine this an Aztec warrior out there fighting battles Fighting warriors fighting other warriors and fighting and going on battle Which we used you have this spirit of like going out there and he comes back into the tent With his woman And he crawls into her lap like a cat this fears warrior And he puts his head on her lap and she's stroking his hair and says it's going to be okay That's what we're missing That's what we're craving from women The warriors repose You go out there and you fight battles and you fight your warrior And you come back and she Has the the grace and the feminine energy To rebirth you and say it's going to be okay. We want that and we're missing it across the board Modern women saying well, what do you can do for me and blah blah? What do you do for living? And modern men like It's all broken But take hard because it's going to change it's going to change I feel it's going to change. I talk and you know all over the world. They talk to different groups And uh, they can't sustain it's going to change Anyway, I talked a lot. I got a few minutes left for any questions He's got questions for zan Hi girls in the back Hello Hey, uh, really great talk. I especially love the end piece about the warriors and poets And I was just hoping that you could speak towards uh So i'm someone when I first meet someone I have a lot of like a wide range of interests and ways in which I can act authentically And can you explain like how you transition from the warrior to the poet when you're just meeting someone So it doesn't come off as you're being incongruent with yourself totally if that makes sense Yeah, kind of I think um I don't know like It's a simultaneous thing If you feel the energies of both that whatever you're talking about the poet in the in the warrior And you express it to her that's powerful That's a powerful thing like i'm a big advocate of speaking your truth whatever's going on in the moment I really I believe it if you like a girl if I like a girl I'll say I like you I don't know why but I like you if I wonder my bad. I want you in my bed. That's what I know Hello, what's your name? I usually be a great lover for me. I say it so so to speak that what you're talking about Is uh, there is no transition is what I'm trying to say You're simultaneously both And you forgive yourself everything all singing mistakes And I think that's a that's a powerful takeaway. I hope you guys get you forgive yourself Every seeming mistake Because we think we're not good enough, but we're more than good enough And I'm not kidding about that guys I am not kidding about that. I hope you Hope you get that. I hope you really receive that Any other questions? I I know I got I got some questions um So you have always been known about talking about ease and delight How would you put that In a nutshell how does one live a life of ease and delight? You know what I tell you this I guess it goes back maybe to the Stoics Who talked about No, it goes back to the book of ecclesiastes There's nothing new under the sun All is vanity says the preacher King Solomon went out there and found he had 500 concubines and 300 wives He had the riches above all the riches. He had wisdom above wisdom And he writes the book the ecclesiastes which is I sought all of this in this world And all is vanity by that it means None of it matters The sun rises on the rich and the poor the good and the bad Imagine this mark twain said this When you die They memorialize you for an hour And forget you forever When you die everything all your possessions Are going to disappear like the wind And here's the truth nobody's going to remember you That's the truth What a shocking thought When I look at it like I'm from Canada So I grew up in the wilderness with no sense of history of no old buildings The people in Europe have all this like history that they grew up in and they take it for granted And that you know when I see a portrait I see a photo Of a woman from 1880 She's smiling like this with a glass of wine looking at Black and white photo of this woman. I'm thinking she's young and pretty she's probably 21 years old And she's 100 forgotten today Gone And that shocks my mind. How is that possible that all she all she dreamed and all she loved and everything she tried to And she tried to create things and stuff like that And it's all gone and forgotten In other words, whatever you're trying whatever you're in your head about whatever you're like trying to micromanage Means nothing It absolutely means nothing This is it This is your last life. This is it. We're waiting for something else to happen. We're waiting for women to be nice finally It's not gonna happen We're waiting If not now then when That was from a Greek philosopher If not now then when Ask us of that if not now then when well when I save up some money when I If not now then when There's this is I'm telling you guys. This is a call to leadership. There's a fight of your lives There's no more time When I came out of Nicaragua My concept was this and I wrote this phrase. It's in my book and you're gonna see it in my book because it It affected me greatly It's this Every great life Has had a great renunciation Every great light. I'll say that again Every great life has had a great renunciation We're this self-help generation everybody here has got self-help books sitting on their shelf You've got programs you've signed up to To try and understand something by yourself And it's not necessary to read the book It's enough that I bought it and sitting on the shelf. I got the answer right there. Yeah Right We buy these books. We don't read them because uh, but there's the answer right there And when we read that book, we read the next one reading next one We go to the next program the next weekend conference. We go all these conferences. We do all this kind of stuff Chasing that But I'm telling you that is not enough To that is not enough I said it earlier if you it's going to take everything you've got and more If you want to have a life if you want women to look at you like who's this guy Go into the wind and speak your name. Like I said earlier Go climb a mountain and mountain and don't tell the soul that you did it Go into the world and hang around your heroes Go seek them out say, well, I wanted to learn something. I want to fight for something. I want it That's where you go. That's what that's the power. It's that important Every great life has had a great renunciation. What does that mean renunciation to renounce things in your life that keep you small That means your parents expectations The college education while I took this education. I should continue with computer science. You know, I don't like it Renounce it all renounce anything that keeps you small. That's not a politically correct thing to say But I mean it with all with everything Another question we got another five minutes. Yes, what would you say to The audience who's not used to hearing this message because of the generation they've grown up in And maybe the first response is to what the hell's this guy a rejection of this What my opinion is a very strong And a message I agree with what would you say as these as we leave That they could if I may renew their mind Yeah, this message and well, I'll say this because many would say it's too big. I don't even know where to start Yeah, yeah Okay, because I wanted because this is important Because I want I want guys to know that they're sitting in the sea here. They're going back to Pumphandle, Iowa or wherever they live Where there's no girls, right? And there's no and there's no and and you work at your your father's accounting firm And I don't want to say hey, you can be all you can be Just be yourself, which is like that's the same as saying. Hey, just follow a budget means nothing to us We all know what it conceptually means. We can't do it Just be yourself. What kind of advice is that? Uh be unattached unattached to the outcome. How can you be unattached to the outcome of this beautiful girl when you're horny? You can't How can you be unattached to that is like are you something you want love? You want somebody to touch you want some that comfort human comfort? How can be unattached that? Oh, yeah It's artificial So all these these trite sayings They mean nothing we post on facebook Right you make it like a little image and post it as a quote means nothing So your question is very strong and very powerful And all I can say is this Awareness is curative Just by becoming aware that if I knew this guys when I was young When I was trying to figure it out when I was so lost and lonely Awareness is curative. Awareness has the answer in it Just by being Knowledgeable that maybe there's a better path for you Will cure you You don't know your next step. I get that You don't know what you want. I get that too You don't know how you want yourself to be that that's okay, too But just to know I mean you're hearing the other speakers here like guys like brian who you know There's there's there's pathfinders out there who marked the trees for you And and fought some to fought through the elements and you know Chase the grizzly bear away and you could follow the path a bit, which is great. I had no man. I had no I had no Buddy to say anything to me when I was young I it's a deficit I had I didn't have a father figure Didn't have a hero to look up to And if you can get any kind of like traction or any kind by reading this book Listen to guys like brian or the other speakers who've who've beaten some down some of the trees and paths before you Man, you can accelerate it took me 10 years of a confusion from 19 to 29 Then 10 years of like, huh, huh, huh from 29 to 39 And then 10 years of writing and trying to write it down from and refine it from 39 to 49 if you can get any kind of um Jumpstart on I wish I would have had it. That's why I believe in everything I'm saying I believe in I believe I wish I had it when I was young. I don't have to answer your question, but I guess what I'm trying to say is The question is like in this generation that we don't believe it for ourselves. You you might believe it, but others might not I believe it for you I really do No, and it needs to be It needs to be taught in schools this Yeah It's it's Yeah, and maybe it's confusing. I don't know maybe I'm confusing you guys maybe But you know what I'll tell you this and I'll say it quickly. I spent my 20s. I'm not kidding to learn how to be a seducer of women This is on film, but I'll say it anyway And I was good I could talk a woman in the bed give me a glass of wine and a woman for an hour She might be married or have a boyfriend and it's not going to happen, but I can make her go I know how to talk to women I spent my my days. I said I'm I'm this lost little boy. I'm going to figure out how to be this great lover of women I'm gonna be the greatest lover woman's ever known I'm gonna be the greatest seducer of women's. I'm going to learn how to seduce women And I hit it down that path To the point where I could talk to women and I know what she's thinking I could say the next thing I could adjust things around what I wanted my worldview to be And what you learn over the years Is the greatest essence of seduction and the greatest Attractive quotient you have is to be authentic And simplicity to me is incredible these days I don't weave words. I'm I'm I wrote a book I'm a wordsmith. I love words and my book's very poetic. I like this kind of like But I don't weave words when I talk to women. I say it simply I lay it down Everything I say to a woman is like it's like a tennis ball. I hit on her side of the court boom You can do whatever you want with a deer I say to go. I like you. I want to see you again. That's all I know She can pick up the ball and walk off the court. She can take off she can hit it back Whatever it is doesn't matter. I did my job as a man. I showed up So for me, it's all It's like did I do my job as a man? That's why I can't get rejected Not possible if I say to her go listen, I like you and and your friend's cute and what's your name And she goes like like this At least I did my job as a man. I showed up in the world. Hey, I'm good If I if you compliment a woman say hey, there's something you look beautiful to me and your friend is beautiful It's up to her now. The ball is in her court What here's the thing about compliments Compliments and this is why they're so bad Can't compliment a beautiful woman. She's hurt all her life is because Compliments have nothing to do with her and everything to do with you So I say to this girl. Hey, you have such beautiful eyes. Can I buy you a drink? You're so beautiful. This is beautiful. That has nothing to do with her at all It's like me trying to say something and buy her a drink. So she likes me in other words my compliment He's saying I'm gonna say this to you and I hope you like me back. I hope you like me And a man who likes beautiful things in this world will say to this beautiful girl You know what I'm saying this to you You are a true beauty and I like the way you look and I want to say that and it lands and you leave it So I don't know. I don't know if I went in a rabbit trail there or what I think I'm I got 30 seconds left All right guys Hey, thanks for watching my whole talk and and I hope it had a lot of value for you And I and you know, I want to honor the the work that these guys are doing with the 21 studios So subscribe to their youtube channel. It's good work. It's like it's necessary work for all of us And if you want to for you want to find out more about me go to ours and rada.com Or xanperian.com which should be linked down here