 Let's start right at the very beginning. Please tell us a bit about growing up Well Well, I'm actually Homegrown here. I grew up I grew up in Toronto Although I did have an opportunity to travel abroad with my family when I was young my dad worked in Britain for a Couple of times over over the over the course of his career And so I went along and kind of you know got absorbed into different school systems You know appropriately bullied, you know things like that for being the odd person out I was always a bit different. I will say I was Fortunate in my family was not a highly gendered role But pretty much this is what you see now is kind of who I've always been, you know I don't feel so I made this transformation Into leather I I you know my sister tells this used to tell the story very very An interesting fact that she shared with me was she was really jealous of me when it was a little kid She was like, oh, I've got this little sister You know, she's like on all these people are cooing and saying. Oh, what a beautiful little baby You know, she's gonna be a beautiful Girl and and my sister was like, they're calling they're calling Alex beautiful all the time And then she said and then the minute you were able to open your mouth. You said I'm a boy And she was like, you know what the heck, you know like here's this girl That's getting all this praise for being beautiful and not only that but she's just rejected it So, you know, I was lucky in the fact that you know, my dad was an enlightened guy and you know, he He wasn't terribly gender role, you know, he wanted to make sure I stayed safe But he wasn't he wasn't like so so strict about gender roles and these things are for girls So I was happily allowed, you know to have my little my little Lego sets and my cars and trucks And you know play with stuff, you know build, you know, like go out in the backyard and build forts So I was you know, I wasn't kind of shoved. I remember having like some whores with my mother though around You know getting dressed up and going to special events and you know things like that. There was always a little bit of a You have to wear a dress today So, you know, there were some battles, but I was fortunate compared to you know, some people Who have grown up in much more gender divided worlds But growing up you struggled coming out realizing that you had gender dysphoria Please talk with us a little about that. I don't know that that's familiar to everyone Yeah, you know when you're uh, I Think it's actually thank you for asking me that question because I think you know, we it's there There are a lot of a lot of different agenda gender identities out there And I think we all you know need to Come to accept that you know, we all identified we all may identify differently Some of us are very clear some of us are very fluid. Some of us are somewhere in between the ends You know when I was a kid growing up, I thought I could grow up and be my dad You know they said you can be anything you want to be and I'm like okay, I'm with you And so you know I did things and he was he was lovely that way You know I used to stand behind him when he was shaving in the morning in a mirror He even bought me a little plastic razor that you know where the blades were removable I would stand behind him shaving, you know, I would like watch him when he's doing his boots your shoes I mean I would like You know push a little lawnmower with him So but then you know once you become a teenager It's you know all of a sudden your world changes. I was playing hockey with the boys I was you know out in the parks I was and then all of a sudden I was expected to conform and I Didn't you know, I didn't have any role models then I've never met a queer person I've never met a gay person. I had never met a transgender person. We have tall boys and I think you know There were there were you know, there were lesbians and there were Homosexuals and it was you know like it was a bad thing to be called a lesbians school and a bad thing to be called a homo at school and You know and I was I didn't know what I was I knew that I didn't want to you know, I wasn't like Happily growing into the adult woman that I always wanted to be and so I struggled and it wasn't until you know I ran into you know that I had I had some I had some years when I wasn't happy and I Wasn't coping well and you know I think finding the communities the queer community and ultimately the leather community and being able to come out into Who I was authentically is is what what really made the difference and allowed me to start to live You know a happy and whole life and existence Well, what kind of struggles did you have do you see people even today struggling with similar topics? I Think yeah, I think today. I mean I think There's a lot more ways for people to figure them maybe I mean it's hard to figure yourself out But you know when I was coming over age or whatever that means There wasn't the online resources that there are you know, we didn't even have computers at that point You know, I did get a computer during my coming out process and and things and but back then it was bullet board chat I think now people can more more see all the variety that there is and say hey I'm that but you know, I think people still struggle because we need help we need help you know, we need to be validated and acknowledged and accepted and so I think where people still struggle is Finding where they belong being welcomed being said, you know having whatever Whatever formula they have in their head about who they are Validated and and accepted and I think that's an appropriate or that's a that's a struggle that that will always happen And you know, but I also think that we had you know as a community Well, tell us a bit about your identification as a boy and what drew you to that You know, it's funny because Part of me can say I was always this boy, right? I was always I was always a boy I was always looking for daddy that kind of said from your boy, you know Or a mentor or a top or a it didn't have to be didn't have to be a male role Just somebody in charge, you know to kind of say you're doing good You know, you that you're on the right path and stuff, you know, I just I just I need to feel as though I'm It's just it's just one of my things I like to make people happy. I like to know I'm doing a good job when I when I came into the leather community and You know, I tell you a story about that about coming in and how I found the door, but you know I got exposed to all these people like here are these real people living this kinky lifestyle that I always wanted You know, I thought I was a big ol pervert when I was like, you know when I was growing up I'm like, have you ever like tidy to your up and you know, like as a little kid and they're all going You know a couple let me do it to them. Nobody would like Let me show you And then but then they didn't want to turn around and do it to me, which is what it really is looking for It's like I'll show you how to do it now. Come on do it to me so but it didn't work out that way but then once I found this community and You know people were letting willing to let me hang around I got introduced to this this leather boy like it's like I Met somebody who identified as a leather boy. I'm like, that's it. That's what I am and I They even had a boys training camp in Texas And it was like sign me up to two friends of mine that I knew went went one year and I signed up the next year and I Went down and I met like all these these faculty that were like my fantasy of what a What what you know men and women know what what what the ideal top was for me and all these boys And we're all dressed the same and we ought to say yes sir. Yes, ma'am You know, we had to we had to like learn how to be how to be how to be good You know how to anticipate somebody else's needs. We learned how to define ourselves and and say what am I What is a leather boy and and you know, and how do we how do we belong in our community? And how do we how do we stand out and and be acknowledged and how do we protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe and and Develop this this you know this kind of boys club. It's kind of like it was kind of like the grown-up kinky version of boys gift and it was How long of a seminar was this Well, it was it was four days, but it was pretty it was pretty intense because we arrived You know in the evening we spent like 14 hours a day in this kind of Dungeon, you know space and you know, we ate there We all had to we all had to dress the same and we had this really intense sharing with people You know people coming in we had we had by Johnson come in and it was a small group It was like 20 of us and by Johnson was sharing, you know, here's here's my journey She was sharing about about her journey and and we were all listening and she was like, you know If I could do it differently, I would have done this and here's what I want to pass on to you and there was some serious sharing going on and It was like a spiritual experience So even though it was only four days we started a little Yahoo group after and we we kept each other You know like there were some boys that that, you know, didn't have a community place to belong You know, they either didn't have their own their own sirs their own mams I don't mistresses masters at home and and so we kind of set up a little community They didn't have and so they could stay in touch with with us and and at least live out You know some degree of their authenticity You know with with us as support We we kind of supported each other through difficult times through You know coming and coming's and goings of relationships and we stayed together, you know online for about five years It was it was a remarkable connection Well, what challenges have you had as a boy did anything really manifest during this four-day seminar? Um, well the challenges. Yeah, the challenges that manifested during a four-day seminar was You know, I was learning a lot about You know how how like we were learning how to be a Particular kind of boy. I mean some boys went on to just to be sort of community service members Yeah, we're happy to play that role in their community. I was more You know, I'm I play with yes dynamics. I don't play with them I live right so For those of you don't know what that is it's dominant dominance and submission and so when I'm in a relationship It's a power-based relationship and it's a mix. You know, I give up a degree I did give up my power and somebody else takes it on and we live we live that way at the time I was just learning about how to do that and I was making loads of mistakes and so As I was learning during the camp from people who were living this way and have been for years a lot of things that I You know that I hadn't learned yet. We're coming up in it You know, learning is a learning is a hard thing to do You know sometimes it involves analyzing yourself and and sometimes finding yourself falling short and Sometimes finding out what you need to do to improve And it can create a feeling of loneliness The other that the rest of the challenge of being a boy haven't come so much from that it's sort of You know being being I think for boys Sometimes I think it's being taken seriously in their community that saw you know as actual, you know as actual leadership material, you know Like You know sometimes we we see you know everybody looks to the to the big top, you know kind of dominant energy, you know master Not not to say there's any wrong with that But it's also acknowledging that you know the the sort of the the boys that are waiting for direction the boys that are saying what can I do to be of use and and you know running off and doing that and and spending their time are also a Force they they They need to be you know considered to be Part part of our leadership as well So I think that's just just getting taken seriously and that could just be my own my own feelings But I've heard other boys boys say that you know like I think but some boys have said well had a hard time You know be getting a title in my community and because people kind of said well How can you lead if you're always meeting direction? And it's like well we figure it out, you know Yeah, and so I think I'm always I'm always celebrating when I see a boy a girl a submissive a puppy If they're you know, no puppies are on the bottom side of the equation, you know that but You know when and take on roles, I think it's it's it's exciting when I see that Well, you've said that self-expression very much matters to you. How so? Well, I was what I mean by self-expression is my ability to to to be who I am without shame and That's not that's not always easy, you know, like You know being being non-normative, you know, like we don't fit in everywhere, you know I don't I don't know if anybody else here can relate to that But you know, sometimes people kind of go, you know, you're just a little bit different and and differences Sometimes make people in the wider wider world afraid Differences are our fear provoking things and I think Self-expression was something that it was really valuable coming in to you know And and it was the first place that I was ever accepted just living out loud who I am, you know I came in I was this kind of boyish looking female-bodied person that came into At the time there were leather dykes and there were there were leather men, but it was it was a lot more leather men You know in the in in this community, you know Mr. Leatherman, Toronto currently hard of the flag and it was like, you know, come on in we'll find a place for you and Being accepted Self-expression is where else in the world? Can you can you live as the puppy? You've always told you are Can you be the the daddy? the mommy the Master that that you've always felt you are Be the boy be the girl, you know like and and live that um and We may not understand all of each other's Proclivities or or you know preferences and and your how you choose to live your life May not always make sense to to me But if you're not if it's not abusing me or or violating me in any way, I really Think it's I really think it's important that we're all able to express ourselves and Live live out who we are and this is a perfect community and that's what for that one It's not perfect, but I mean this is this is an ideal world for that to happen in Well in in building on that a little bit. What does mentoring mean to you and how were you mentored? You know Yeah, mentor mentorship. Wow. That's huge And it's it's really key to who we are as as a community I Mean you can't get everything online, you know, that's where you know, I mean, I think that young You know the younger leather people coming in or or or kinky people or gear people or however People are defining when they find their way into our community They can meet each other can find all their their you know what they need and and you know gear and Practices and safety tips and things online, but mentorship is something more mentorship is It's how the generations connect How we can all you know share Our community so when you're when you're new and it's not always age Some people find their way into the community later and still are in need of mentorship Mentoring can be formal You know, there's roles that are built into our community that are mentor type roles title holders title holders are Sometimes the first pole portal that somebody sees into a world. That's how I find my way in found my way in I was standing watching the pride parade and I saw I saw some hot leather dikes on a float and I was like They're organized Somebody was getting their back with them. I I basically stalked them After the parade I hate to admit that but why not tell tell them tell them I was like, you know How do I meet these people? So I just kind of follow them around and watch them in bar I said what bars didn't get to what clubs and what events and finally I got up enough nerve to talk of one of them And you know, that's that that's one form of mentorship yet, you know Title holders are there as the first welcome and come on in and let me introduce you to people Mentors are people who set up I've been meant. I'm a loop black. I've been mentored Amazingly as a group like here, you know, we've got blacks and mentored so many to blacks here And our our our community our patron of the black community is is one of the best examples of mentorship You know, here are just skills you need, you know, not to not to wreck somebody's $500 leather boots Here are the You know, here is how you handle it if you're boot blacking in a in a bar and somebody starts opening their fly and pulling their You know jockstrap, you know jockstrap aside, and you're like That's not part of my service Mentors can tell you how to handle situations like that So, you know, it's and then mentors are you know, there's there's these community groups all over that Yeah, that provide mentoring or it can just be one-on-one. It can be you know what? Hey, you look new Let me teach you How to survive in here we pass along the values of our community through mentorship, you know, and what's important It's not just a you know, it's not just a quick way to get off We're here. We're living here. We're living our lives out here, and I think mentorship is a key part of that It's our family. It's how we build it's how we build love and family into into into our connections here You brought up boot blacking. Tell us a little bit about that because that's very it's a very important piece of who you are and what you do Yeah, yeah, boot blacking is is a huge part of what I what I do. Um, I Always I don't know what I like. Well, there's there's my serious answer and there's my sexy answer. My sexy answer is My sexy answer is what better way to wait way to meet hot sexy people wearing Wearing boots than on your knees in the back of a dark bar And and it's true because I was a bit of a shy boy When people say how did you get into what what drew you to boot blacking? I mean well the first one is well boots, right? Streaming to boot blacking. I love it. I think they're just amazing. Um, the other thing was watching, you know, I remember seeing black and you know and What were they the marine shorts The marine boxers used to wear and I watched I watched him doing doing people's boots and the textures and the smells and The connection that I saw happening Not to mention the opportunity to care for some of the hottest boots I've ever seen That drew me in. Um, it was also a good way for me to feel useful Because as I said, I'm a boy. I like to feel useful I'm a leather boy that is and uh, that's how I identify that's that's what I need to make me tick is to feel useful to feel To feel that I'm being of service And you know, whether I had whether whether I had a relationship going on a surface-based relationship at that time or not Boot blacking was always a good way for me to to to find that and to raise money for really important causes You know, it's really, you know, I mean Leathermen tip well when you're when you're when you're raising money for a good cause, you know We saw that last night at the auction how we all came together and when it and a good cause, you know boot blacking is a great way to to do that and um You know, so that is I was talking again last night with somebody about the unique In a unique experience of connecting to somebody through the act of doing your boots. Um Boot blacking is uh, is like a is a uh an activity where gender doesn't matter so much A lot of people kind of go really, uh, I don't know and I've met some of those people at during my title year I have a boot black Toronto Six I was boot blacking after a mr. Leatherman Toronto event and At the black eagle and now we're a couple of British guys who sat in my chair and they said this is funny He said we've never had a you know, they've you know during conversation. They realized that I was I was a female body masculine presenting person and they said I've never had a female touching my boots And so I got a little chance to to explain to them, you know a little bit about my gender and I and then I Got a chance to say, you know what try I'm not having sex with you here I can have a really sensual experience with you here. I said try and suspend. I said like just try and suspend your your uh your focus on gender and try to imagine me as Whatever whatever kind of energy you want to be blacking your boots and Wow, I gave and and he did and I And then I went into him and we started to talk about Where did you get these boots? How long have you had them? Why did you pick these boots and then we talked about where have you worn them? what experiences have you had in them and You know and I was explaining what products I was putting on them and I was showing them How how you could put it on with love and and care and and I think I was with them for like an hour When we just kept kept going, you know like and um So and even if it hadn't and we got some sensuality going on and he just and Even if it hadn't he got up from that chair and he can walk away and say, you know what? I feel so my leather has been loved and you know leather in our community has a lot of history It gets passed down People have a story to be the guardian of that to get a chance to help people care for their leather and And help them look good in it is a real privilege Absolutely And a real a real thing that A real bond you can share with somebody whether it's purely technical where you're where you're explaining every little thing Movement you're doing or whether you're licking their boots and using yourself as furniture You know, it's all a way to connect But what's been your greatest service accomplishment? um I don't know that's hard to say because service i've done different things, you know service service to me is Service is how we express love in our community. You know, I for me like service is how I express love um I've been I've been a title holder and I felt really proud Of you know, just being there for my community at the end of the year, you know pumping out as part of the team um You know learning the lessons that that I learned, you know with I wasn't always comfortable on a mic and you know the first the first The first time I had a title I I had this big muscle guy. It was mr. Black Eagle as my thing and as my partner. I'm like this is your sash I'm like oh my god And he said be here on Saturday I'm hosting an event and then he shut the mic into my hand and said get up there And that was like the buyer was fully dies like I there was not one face I knew there and I got up there and did that and so You know like being proud of your accomplishments and learning how to connect and and that But service I wouldn't call that my greatest accomplishment. It was my greatest challenge. Okay, um But you know also being invisible being invisible as Somebody in the back the backup, you know, like being the gopher at an event, you know Where where whenever thing anything falls apart your your response will make sure the flip chart gets to that room and The valuations get handed in and oh my god. There's no power on the third floor. It's your job. You're you know And that is a huge huge accomplishment and it's not it's invisible and and And that's you know, like but I know that when I'm in that role it's it's love right and that's an accomplishment and then there's you know being in service to you know, uh My my ma'am or my sir I've had both um and currently do and uh, that's great and and you know, just just being somebody that they trust and rely on and and finding my way to say I love you through performing services for them for anticipating their needs for Putting their needs ahead of mine. So I'm sorry often, you know as often as I've been That's pretty heavy. I don't even know where to go with the next question after that But I do want to ask you about being one of the founders of the Toronto boys of leather Please tell us a little bit about that I uh And and It's true because I was a bit of a shy boy. Um When people say, how did you get into what what drew you to boot blacking? I mean, well the first one is well boots, right? Boots drew me to boot blacking. I love boots. I think they're just amazing. Um, the other thing was watching, you know I remember seeing black and you know and and uh What were they the marine choice? The marine boxers used to wear and I watched I watched him doing doing people's boots and the textures and the smells and The connection that I saw happening Not to mention the the opportunity to care for some of the hottest boots I've ever seen. Um, that drew me in It was also a good way for me to feel useful Because as I said, I'm a boy. I like to feel useful. Um on the leather boy that is and uh That's how I identify that's that's what I need to make me tick is to feel useful. Um to feel To feel that I'm being of service. Um, and you know, whether I had Whether whether I had a relationship going on a surface-based relationship at that time or not Boot blacking was always a good way for me to To to find that and to raise money for really important causes. You know, it's really, you know, I mean Leatherman temp well when you're when you're when you're raising money for a good cause, you know We saw that last night of yachts and how we all came together and when in a good cause, you know boot blacking is a great way to to do that and um You know, so then I was talking again last night with somebody about the unique You know unique experience of connecting to somebody through the act of doing her boots. Um boot blacking is Is it uh an activity where gender doesn't matter so much a lot of people kind of go really? I don't know and I've met some of those people at during my title year as a boot black Toronto 2006, um, I was boot blacking after a mr. Leatherman Toronto event and At the black eagle and now we're a couple of british guys who sat in my chair and they said this is funny He said we've never had a you know, they've you know during the conversation I realized that I was I was a female body masculine presenting person And they said I've never had a a female touching my boots and so I got a little chance to to explain to them You know a little about my gender and I and then I I got a chance to say, you know what try i'm not having sex with you here I can have a really sensual experience with you here. I said try and suspend I said like just try and suspend your Your Your focus on gender and try to imagine me as Whatever whatever kind of energy you want to be blacking your boots and Wow, I gave and and he did and I and then I went into him and we started to talk about Where did you get these boots? How long have you had them? Why did you pick these boots and then we talked about where have you worn them? What experiences have you had and you know, and I was explaining what products I was putting on them and I was showing them How how you could put it on with love and and care and I think I was with him for like an hour When we just kept kept going, you know like and so and even if it hadn't and we got some sensuality going on and he just and Even if it hadn't he got up from that chair and he can walk away and say, you know what? I feel so my leather has been loved and you know Leather in our community has a lot of history. It gets passed down People have a story to be the guardian of that to get a chance to help people care for their leather and And help them look good in it is a real privilege absolutely And a real a real thing that A real bond you can share with somebody whether it's purely technical where you're where you're explaining every little thing Movement you're doing or whether you're licking their boots and using yourself as furniture You know, it's all a way to connect What's been your greatest service accomplishment? um I don't know that's hard to say service I've done different things, you know service service to me is Service is how we express love in our community, you know For me like service is how I express love I've been I've been a title holder and I felt really proud Of you know, just being there for my community at the end of the year, you know pumping out as part of the team You know learning the lessons that that I learned, you know with I wasn't always comfortable on a mic and you know the first the first The first time I had a title I I I had this big muscle guy who was mr. Black Eagle as my thing and as my partner. I'm like this is your sash And he said be here on saturday I'm hosting an event and then he shoved the mic into my hand and said get up there And that was like the buyer was fully guys like I there was not one face I knew there and I got up there and did that and so You know like being proud of your accomplishments and learning how to connect and and that But service I wouldn't call that my greatest accomplishment. It was my greatest challenge. Okay You know also being invisible being invisible as somebody in the back the back up, you know Like being the gopher at an event, you know where where whenever thing anything falls apart You're you're responsible to make sure the flip chart gets to that room and the valuations get handed in and oh my god There's no power on the third floor. It's your job. You're you know And that is a huge huge accomplishment and it's not it's invisible and And and that's you know, like but I know that when I'm in that role It's it's love right and that's an accomplishment And then there's you know being in service to you know My my ma'am or my sir I've had both And currently do and That's great. And and you know just just being somebody that they trust and rely on and and Finding my way to say I love you through Through performing services for them for anticipating their needs for Putting their needs ahead of mine. So I'm sorry often, you know, as often as I've been in there That's pretty heavy. I don't even know where to go with the next question after that But I do want to ask you about being one of the founders of the Toronto Boys of Leather Please tell us a little bit about that I uh The Toronto Boys of Leather. I'm unfortunately, it's not going right now. I'll kind of go into that a little bit, but When I first discovered the boy identity and I went to boys training camps and and I just got electrified You know by all the events going on here In the states I traveled I traveled to a lot of events in the states where they had a really Really solid boy community built up already and I met other cities where they had had The boys of leather and they had their own flag and it was like oh, wow, you know it was like that whole kind of boys kids thing that I liked and You know and the girls of leather also came came came up during that time as well, which was lovely We we didn't uh, we called ourselves the Toronto Boys of Leather and then opened our group up to Anybody who identified as a boy or a girl or a puppy or a we tried that I mean, it's hard to be inclusive And you know, we it's always a challenge to to hammer through all the all the language and all the rules that make us make our communities inclusive and And and also in line with identities. Um, I don't think we did that perfectly. Um, I'm actually I know we didn't However, what we did do is we um, I saw these clubs in the states having places for for Boys to come together that may not have daddies that wanted to be of service to each other that To their community that wanted to teach each other stuff and um, and so we got We We took on a membership. There were some girls. There were some boys. There was a couple of puppies There were some switchy people and we we we had you know, workshops little workshops for each other We we tried to go out and do fun things together We we volunteered when when the leather community was having an event We we we found ways to be of service and um, we had we had our own identity We had a patch. We had a we have a t-shirt and it was it was a good time We kind of people moved on from it and it's as I said, there's a lot of work to be done in Expanding your criteria to be more inclusive and and inclusive to of Of different identities so that people feel welcome. So I think uh, I think Around that time that we were trying to do that. We just did we just kind of lost the energy People were getting tired. They were getting more jobs. They kind of I I'd always be happy if anybody wanted to revive that and you know And and talk to talk to those of us who were there at the time we can we can You know sort of share some of our experiences and how how, you know, the pitfalls and and the gifts of that But it was it was a fun time. I gotta say If you could go back in time And revisit any part of your leather journey And change anything What would you choose to change and why? Oh That's a hard question to answer. Um Well, I'll tell you I would have found it a lot sooner If I could change I would have I would have come in here You know if this if I'd have found if I'd have found you guys when I was a teenager I'll I'll maybe I'm gonna have to wait till I was the eagle Um If I'd have found the community then that I would change that I would change getting involved earlier I don't think I don't think that I would change a lot though even like harder experiences I you know when I was You know, I've learned a lot through error and through, you know Bad emotional reactions, whatever all kinds of stuff I've learned. Um, I I have some regrets But I don't think I change it, you know, just just being I don't know being sort of You know learning to be Um learning to not be so I don't know say defensive or learning not to take take feedback So personally or you know things like that. That's a very personal thing that I would change Um, I would I would learn to to recognize the gifts that people are giving me when they're giving me feedback Um, let's see. What else? So I wasn't going to say that. Um, let me see now. Um Another thing is is that I would remember that this community isn't you know, I think when I was struggling Like I had some personal times in my life when I was losing stuff big time, you know, like You know deaths and changes and stuff like that You know at that time I thought You know the community is a place where everybody wants to have fun. We're all about hey, nice to see you Let's get sexy together. Let's get you know, whatever like I know I'm being really clear about that It's not how it really is But you know, sometimes you feel when you show up at our events that you have to be on you have to be happy and you know what This is our lives are happening and we're living and we're each other's We're each other's this isn't some kind of alternative reality This is reality And I think what I would do differently is when I was struggling and feeling As though I were as though I wasn't fun enough to show up I think I may have isolated myself a little bit and I think what I would do differently in that time is Reach out be me, you know trust Trust the love that I know that is in this community to to to connect with and you know and keep keep me going through through the struggle some You know, we we stand we work together. We we we see We're not just here for the good times. We're here for bad times too and you know Our community has faced things like the the AIDS epidemic, you know our community You know, I wasn't around I wasn't part of the levit community that At that time, but I've heard How how how a heart it was and how much pain there was and how How tempting it must have been to just check out, but you know, but nobody was there We're there for each other I need to to remember the spirits of the people who who went through those times and and And when I'm going through my own hard time or when we're looking at queer people We're talking about rainbow railroad We need to stand together and and recognize that we're we're as misfit as outsiders as we are here We're very privileged and just to stand together and and be and be the force that we are to connecting and and And defend and protect and heal each other Wow Absolutely So I'll I'll finish with one final question and that is What's the biggest misconception about you? I don't know I don't know. I'd have to know what people are conceiving about me I don't know. I think I think I think it was just I had to I I don't think I think like misconceptions about me probably came from me No from anybody else, you know, I was I was thinking, you know My friend Nancy was You know, she laughs about the time when I used to go to the leather dive parties of the leather women party The queer parties or all the parties that she had and I used to think that my only role was to get up and do dishes And and and serve and that I wasn't useful in the community I wasn't part of the community unless I was I was doing something like boyish for somebody and And she she put put me in there and she stuck me in the in a table and wouldn't let me get up For the rest of the evening and I felt so useless and I was like everybody's gonna think I'm like like, you know I'm not you. I'm not worth anything or you know, they're not gonna like me because I'm not doing anything And you know, she just made me sit there and then and it didn't change how anybody treated me So the misconception was mine, you know that you know, we all we belong whether we're whether we're You know We're not we're not capital. We're we're we're people. We're valuable. We're we're not a set of skills and services. We're we're Hello people that are loving beings deserving of of the connections that we have that so I know that it's not really answering your question No, it does it does misconceptions or whatever you want them to be Ah Everybody boy, Alex