 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. I want to know how to win any argument with a narcissist. And in this video, that is exactly what you are going to learn. You're going to learn how to win any argument with a narcissist. So sit down, relax and get ready for a very informative video. Just taking my jacket off as it is quite warm in here now. But yeah, you want to know how to win any argument with a narcissist. Because I know what it's like. There's always something for them to complain about. They're always arguing about something. And it's not that we don't want to listen or try to understand them. That is the thing we do try to understand them and listen to them. The best that we can. I mean so many times, how many times do you recall? Maybe at 11 o'clock at night, 2 o'clock in the morning. The first thing when you wake up, you're listening to these hour long monologues about nothing. It just doesn't go anywhere. It just circles round and around. You're listening, you're trying to understand. It's just this constant word salad that never goes anywhere. By the end of it, you just think, what is even the point? So it's not that we're not being empathic. We're not trying to listen to them or understand them. It has nothing to do with that at all. We are good listeners. We do try to understand their point of view and where they are coming from. But a lot of times it's just like these lies, gaslighting, word salad. It just doesn't seem to go anywhere. And it doesn't go anywhere because they're not even seeking a resolution. All they're seeking is validation, attention. They just want you to see them, to hear them, to acknowledge their existence. But it's like no matter how much you keep your eyes and ears on them, it is never enough. They're never satisfied. You can listen to a narcissist talk about themselves and their problems for hours. And it's just never enough for them. Nothing ever gets resolved. And that is why I decided to create this video this evening. Or at least this evening where I am here. And I'm going to tell you how you can win any argument with a narcissist. This is all you have to do. All you need is just this one word. And the one word that you need to win any argument with a narcissist is whatever. Whatever. Yes, that's all you've got to say. I don't know, it may sound very simple, but all that is is you are not feeding into the argument. Because this is the mistake that a lot of you make when you're arguing with a narcissist. That's the problem already. You're arguing. You are wasting your time arguing with a narcissist. No matter what you say, they're not going to understand your point of view. Narcissists are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. It's all about them. It's all about what they think, their perspective, their ideas and opinions. It's about what they believe. It's about their feelings, their wants, desires and needs. It's not about anyone else. It's not about your feelings. It's not about what you want, what you need. It's never going to be about you. So you are wasting your time by arguing with them. It's just going to drain the life out of you. That's all that's going to happen. You can argue with them until the cows come home. You're not going to get the result that you're looking for. Not from them, maybe from someone else, but not from a narcissist. Not from someone who is arrogant and entitled, self-absorbed and lacking empathy. You are not going to get what you want or what you need from them. And they are not going to understand you, no matter how much you may want them to. I mean I asked you the other thing a lot of times as well. It's like all of these arguments and I know what it's like. Of course I've experienced this so many times. They're just so egotistical and it's like can't we just drop the argument? Can't we just forget about it for once because it never goes anywhere. And you don't want to listen to me. You don't want to understand my point of view, my perspective. This is all about you, your feelings. Just this endless, biased one-sided argument. That never takes into consideration how I feel or what I want. I know what it's like when you're with a narcissist. You're conversing with them, you're having a conversation, you're arguing. You're having a disagreement. You just feel completely invisible. It's like and I'm sure many of you can relate to this. You're just sitting on the couch. Maybe you're reading a book. Maybe you're playing on your computer. You're on YouTube. Maybe you're watching TV. You're just sitting on the couch minding your own business. And then whoop. In through the door. In comes the narcissist. And they're standing there. Waving their arms around. Complaining about something. Just going on and on. And it's just this headache in your ear. It's like just leave me alone. Just leave me alone for five minutes. But they don't stop. And then again it's like you're laying in bed. Could be at night. Could be 11, 12 o'clock at night. Or maybe they wake you up 2 a.m. Something else. And it could be anything. It could be something so stupid. I mean, it could be something where you forgot to turn on the washing machine. Or maybe you left the balcony or the patio door open. And then they come running into the broom yelling and screaming. Like somebody's died. And you just think, oh what's going on? What's the big deal? Are there other times they might wake you up first thing in the morning. And it's like you wonder sometimes people describe narcissists like zombies. Like they have no energy of their own. Like they're like dead and lifeless. And you're like thinking to yourself it could be at 2 o'clock in the morning. Maybe at 6 a.m. they wake you up. And you think, oh whoa, where do you get all this energy from? When you can argue like 24 hours a day any time of the day you're ready to argue, ready to fight. But that is just it. All of that energy that's coming from you. When they're arguing with you. They're shouting, they're yelling, they're screaming. You're watching that. You're listening to it. And it's draining the life out of you. And all of that energy that you're losing where's that going that's going to them. It's fueling them. It's giving them narcissistic supply. And if they're doing something and it's giving them supply trust and believe that they are going to keep doing it. And they're never going to stop. They will poke and prod you. They will push your buttons to find what's going to get a reaction out of you. What's going to make you respond? What's going to make you care? Because when they do that it's giving them supply. It's transferring your energy to them. And that is why by the end of it it looks like they feel more alive. And you've just had the life drained out of you. I mean it's never like if you imagine if you and I were having a conversation and I might share something then you might. Then I might again then we just go back and forth and we're having a good conversation about something something that we both enjoy talking about. I mean that type of conversation it fuels both of us. It's not going to be one of us is drained but it is where they narcissist. It's always going to be us we're always the ones who are going to be drained and they're going to be fueled at our expense because they have a void that they are constantly trying to fill. So we are the ones who end up depleted in the end because you can interact with them all you like. You can engage with them all day every day not going to make a difference for you. You're not going to get anything out of it. It's a void it is not going to feel like you it is not going to give you energy all it is ever going to do is deplete you. I can tell you that I have never had a conversation with a narcissistic person at least not with one who is not fully self aware where I have felt energised. That just doesn't happen. When you are interacting, engaging or conversing with a narcissistic person of course by the end of it you are going to feel drained and lifeless. You're going to lose a lot of your energy you're going to end up feeling confused your head's going to be all over the place you might not even remember what time it is, what day it is you might not even remember what your name is by the end of the conversation because of all of the word salad, the gaslighting all of the crazy things that they do and say and it's crazy have you ever seen the way that these narcissists interact it's just unreal it's nothing like a normal person it's like a wild animal out of a cage the way they stand there and they're just flailing their arms around like a crazy person I mean who does that it's like there's no self-composure they're just all over the place there's no control so I get it and I know some of you may feel guilty if you're an empath of course you will by wanting to win the argument and just using this one word saying whatever you might feel bad for doing that because you know they want to feel healed they want you to listen it's like you've done it so many times it never goes anywhere clearly they're not looking for a resolution and at some point it's just like what is even the point in doing this where is this going to go because we've had this conversation this argument so many times and it never goes anywhere it never resolves anything it never resolves in anything favorable for me or even for you even the narcissist doesn't really get anything out of it it's just they get their little high their supply and that's about it other than that it's like a junkie if they're just sniffing a line of coke get some high for a minute makes them feel a little bit better about themselves distracts them from their pain and shame from their own misery as they push it on to you suffocate you with it bring you down I mean that's the whole objective of it it's not meant to resolve anything especially not resolve anything for you they don't care but your feelings your wants, your needs they don't care about anything that you want as you can tell you can just see it the way that it's always all about them it's always all about their feelings their wants, their needs what you didn't do what they need you to do for them by the end of it you're just drained you just can't even be bothered they always pick the worst times to argue as well and sometimes you may be suspicious you may suspect like what is going on here just got into bed just laying down thought I'd get some sleep here comes the narcissist in through the door standing by the side of the bed arms flying around everywhere yelling and screaming no consideration for me or the neighbours or the children if you have any I just stand in there complaining as usual I need to think in what is going on there was all of this time earlier on throughout the day why did you decide to do this now at this time of night as soon as I just got in bed could have done this an hour ago just before I had a shower we could have talked about this earlier on when we were having food no why leave it to the last minute just before I sleep or why wake me up when I'm sleeping at 2, 3 o'clock in the morning or first thing before I go to work 6am can't even finish a proper sleep yeah you may be suspicious thinking is this planned is this premeditated believe it or not a lot of times it actually is yes they deliberately pick certain times to have these arguments when they assume that you're going to be feeling weak you're not going to have much energy they know you've had a long day maybe you've been working all day you just got home you're tired ready to get some sleep or they do it in the morning before you go to work they wake you up extra early because they know that's just going to ruin your day you're going to be tired all day and then when you get home they'll be at it again makes it easier for them to deliberately try to ruin your sleep routine because by doing that it weakens you and then when it comes to an argument you can't even defend yourself because you've got no energy left yes they know exactly what they're doing they're deliberately weakening you and breaking you down because not only do they want to argue with you to get supplied, to get reactions sometimes they actually like it when they see you, you're sitting there you've just got your head in your hands like you just can't do it anymore you don't even want to fight back it's like you've just given up, you've surrendered to them yeah they actually like that too makes them feel powerful like they've conquered you I'm sick, I know this is what they do and I know what it's like I've experienced it, I've been there and sometimes they do just do it deliberately they have something going on inside of them this internal chaos in their minds but they just can't rest it's this anxiety maybe even a little depression as well and they just have to use you as this vessel to carry their pain their emotions so that they can elevate themselves at your expense they're just miserable people they can't regulate their own emotions they have to use you as this external regulator and it is really unfair the way that we are just used like these tools these objects it affects our sense of self because they don't listen to us they don't even view us as people they don't want to hear what we have to say they don't want to make any effort to try to understand us and you know that's fine sometimes I mean if someone doesn't want to listen to you they don't want to understand you that's fine you can't always force someone to do that but the worst part is they're always there it's like they don't want to listen to you they don't want to understand you or try to share your perspective and yet they're always there and it's just always about them it's always about their emotions their needs it's always about their thoughts their opinions their perspective their interpretations their beliefs it's just always about them them them and it just never stops it never ends and at some point it's just like just leave me alone just stop I just don't want to hear it anymore and at this point I don't even care if I sound selfish I don't know that's what you're going to say you're going to call me selfish after I've listened to you for hours and hours every day and I haven't even said a word and then as soon as I stop listening to you I expect you to hear my side yes then here you come calling me selfish saying I only care about myself you know what that is that's just a projection they know what they are they know exactly what they're doing to you of course they know they don't listen to you they don't even try to understand you of course they recognise that and they don't care but deep down they do feel some shame for doing that for not taking the time to listen and understand you so then they've got to project that shame onto you by calling you selfish and there's really no limit to it I mean honestly I'm sure many of you you've experienced this already you can listen to the narcissist talk for one hour, two hours, three hours with no exaggeration they could be standing there with their arms flying around going on and on about nothing you're just sitting there listening to it all and then at some point I mean I could get to it it could be like 2 o'clock in the morning you get up you say alright I've listened to you I've had enough I'll go into bed whoops straight away the narcissist points at you they're calling you selfish you only care about yourself you never listen to them after you just listen to them go on and on for like two or three hours you never say a single word this is what we're dealing with it's what it's like isn't it I've experienced it I know many of you have as well and it's sad it's like we could just keep their mouths shut for a little while and I know that might sound a bit rude but we're talking about someone who just goes on and on for hours about themselves never considers anyone else so at some point it's like yes can you just keep this closed just for a minute and just listen to what I have to say for a change because yes I do have feelings I am a person I do have my own opinions I do have my own wants and needs I'm not a robot I'm not an inanimate object and you wouldn't want me to be that anyway because then you couldn't get your supply you want me to feel you want me to react and to respond but you don't want to pay attention to any of that you don't want to respond to it yourself you just want to use it for your own supply and yet when you get a fair amount of listening to them they've got the nerve to call you selfish and it's just crazy it's mind boggling how can someone go on and on like that all day every day and then you try to think of yourself just for one minute I mean maybe you you're just looking in the mirror in the bathroom you're doing your hair brushing your hair you're brushing your teeth whatever it is it's like you're just taking one minute to yourself the narcissist comes into the bathroom they start shouting about something again it is just insane you just can't even be yourself you can't even have one minute to yourself the narcissist is always there they're always on your case they never leave you alone at least not until they're heavily devaluing you and then they've got another source of supply lined up and then by that point you're really doing a lesson to what they have to say because it's like how can you argue with me how can you say anything about me when you've got another source of supply lined up you've got someone else on the side and do you want to tell me what to do no, I don't think so but this is how it is this is how these narks are they're crazy I mean they're not completely insane but they're not far off the things they do, the things they say the way that they go on and on and it seems like there's just no end to it gotta turn this heater down a bit it's getting pretty hot in here now it's good because it is very cold here in Japan so it's good to have a nice warm room yeah, how's everyone doing? I haven't paid too much attention to the live chat I know I went on a bit of a rant there sharing a bit of my own experiences I know what it's like but the narcissist is just endlessly arguing with you it's like there's just no end to it in sight and you really just have to stop feeding into it stop giving it all of your attention grey rock but also be aware that yes, they may ramp it up a bit as well if they see that they're not getting a response from you they may try something else I mean they will usually just try every trick in their toolbox until they manage to hook you on something and then once they've got the hook the baits then they reel you in and they've got you and that's all it's really designed to do they're never trying to listen to you or understand you they're just looking for what's going to get a response out of you so that they can get their hit their narcissistic supply and then that's it but yeah, let me know what's going on with you let me know your names, where are you from let me know about any arguments you've been having with the narcissist what's been going on with you Kyra official says hi from Indonesia what's the official? are you a singer? I haven't been to Indonesia yet I was recently in Malaysia which isn't too far away I may go to Indonesia eventually Skechish asks are you in Japan right now? yes, I am in Japan I'm in this town I think it's called Kochi I've just been travelling across a few islands driving in the car very expensive though going through all of the tolls I must have been through about 5 or 6 tolls in the last couple of days but it's been worth it though really amazing views beaches castles, temples, everything 1776 Gaming says that's another good point that you bring up they can't regulate their own emotions and they stop growing emotionally at 13 years old what age to stop growing? 13 of all numbers yeah, they can't regulate their own emotions but I wouldn't say that they all stopped growing emotionally at 13 actually from what I've researched it is quite a bit younger than that I mean many narcissists if you look at it they never learned empathy and typically a child will learn empathy between the ages of 2 and 3 and funny enough if you look at the narcissist when they're experiencing narcissistic injury and then you see their narcissistic rage they throw a temper tantrum it's a lot like a 2 or 3 year old child having a tantrum so it really does seem as though they are emotionally stunted at the development of a 2 or 3 year old child not even as far as a teenager I mean if they were emotionally developed to the level of a teenager then it would probably be a lot easier to converse with them and understand them Robert Fakes says I can tell narcissists put a lot of effort into that appearance and even if they're considered attractive by others' standards it really shouldn't matter to empaths yeah, you're right especially somatic narcissists they do put a lot of effort into that appearance but as I've said before with narcissists it's all about the false self and the illusion it's just this false image that they portray to the world to get supply so anything that people don't see or that doesn't tend to get supply they don't really pay too much attention to that which is why their hair could be perfect their makeup their clothing just their overall appearance but then you may know that narcissists behind the scenes and they're actually very filthy very dirty maybe they don't shower too often they don't brush their teeth I mean I'm sure many of you will know all of that and yet at the same time they present this immaculate image of themselves in public but it's really all fake that's just there for them to get supply they're not doing much when people aren't looking Lynette says seven months clean healing congratulations Lynette, glad to hear that it's great once you have some time away from the narcissist it's like you really begin to heal you feel a lot better your mind is a lot more clearer you can finally think for yourself everything begins to get better once you go into contact and you begin your healing journey once you're finally away from them we've got 111 live viewers only 29 thumbs ups so if you're finding this video helpful please show your support it's very important hit that thumbs up button down below it helps the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors we've got Angela Nicoletti she says from cold snowy Finland I believe that's in northern Europe is it? I've never actually been there in Europe I've only been to France and obviously I'm from the UK as well I've travelled all over the UK as many of you may know I've been pretty much everywhere other than Brighton, Norwich and Northern Ireland other than that I've been pretty much everywhere in the UK I do love exploring especially my home country Colton Fish from Sweden another place I haven't been I'd imagine it's very cold there right now Prosperous Queen asks what do you do for work you're always in beautiful places this is actually my work what I'm doing here right now these videos I earn an income from the ad revenue and when people are kind enough to make a donation that's what allows me to travel and to be able to share these experiences with you and of course the travelling is very important to my research and to be able to share this information with you because it's all about interacting with people people from around the world to really understand human behaviour especially considering that narcissism is now affecting potentially the majority of the world's population and statistics show that only 1-2% of the world's population are empaths so travelling is definitely a big part of it and I think it's also inspiring as well for people to see that yes I've been through a lifetime of narcissistic abuse I've experienced all forms of abuse from a very young age and despite that I'm still living I'm still living my life and I'm still trying to live a positive and righteous life away from evil and immorality and I'm trying to motivate and inspire other people in the process as well so I think this all-around image that I present it's very important for the viewers to see this that I am still able to find peace and happiness in my day-to-day life that I can travel I can explore the world despite everything that I have been through it shows that if it's possible for me it is possible for you I'm always saying this Palestine or Israel I'm not really one to pick sides as you may know I have created a charity in my videos where you can donate for the children in Gaza because a lot of things have been going on there especially recently with the war that's really sad I've read a few of the articles seen some photographs and I don't know if it's maybe because of my own childhood a lot of the things that I went through I've never actually really spoken about what I've actually been through in my childhood but it's definitely one of the worst of what any child could go through that's probably why I haven't actually revealed it on this channel as it could be very disturbing to the viewers not so much that I'm not comfortable speaking about it I mean I have healed to some level from most of the things that I went through but yes I do believe that's why when I read those articles I saw those photographs those children they're injured many of them have nowhere to sleep nothing to eat I really feel something when I see that and it made me want to start this charity so that we can donate to this cause and yes all of the money it does go to the children in Gaza who are going through this war right now so if you could donate however much you choose to it doesn't matter how small it is I would greatly appreciate that and I'm sure the children there would greatly appreciate it as well just looking through the comments here in the live chat but yeah 119 live viewers only 36 thumbs ups if you found this video helpful so far please do give it a thumbs up down below very important it helps the channel Justin Bam sorry Justin Ram says she was friendly to everyone except me and the relationship she would invite others on dates without asking me cause she didn't want to be intimate with me sorry to hear that Justin I know what it's like it's not nice I mean this person makes you believe that they want a relationship with you that they desire intimacy and they string you along making you believe that reality is they don't really care about that it doesn't really interest them they don't feel what we feel and that actually affects them although it may seem like they don't show it like they don't really care deep down yes they do feel like something is wrong with them they recognise that they should be able to connect to you that they should have the desire to want to be intimate with you and they feel a lot of shame because of that which is why they then triangulate you with other people and they make it look like they're having this intimacy or these dates with other people to try to prove to you that they can do it when actually that's just another part of the illusion they're just further trying to manipulate you and punish you for everything that you saw wrong with them because you recognise that yes they can't be intimate and they don't like that they don't like how that makes them feel so don't worry too much about that Justin it's always an illusion with these knocks I mean you just gotta think if they can have these dates and be intimate with someone else why couldn't they do that with you they couldn't do it because they envied you they envied your ability to be intimate so then they went to go off and punish you but actually like they could be intimate with someone else when in reality they can't if they could they would have done that with you I've experienced it before only once only in one relationship to my knowledge there was one knock where there were times when I might try to kiss her and then she would pull away and would go out for a romantic dinner and then when the waiter came over she would like point at the candle and laugh and say he likes it so I know what it's like and it is very hurtful especially if you like this person and you want to experience intimacy and romance with them but they just can't do it they're very broken something happened to them a long time ago when they were children they didn't get the love they needed from their parents so I can't receive that love from you now I hope that helps Justin Craig asks can they get help has he not said it's ever gotten better it's funny because different people say different things I mean I've seen some videos from Dr Ramanee and Richard Granon they've said they've never seen anyone recover from NPD and as far as I know there is no cure for NPD they've said there are quite a few self aware narcissists who are on YouTube right now I mean there's one who's probably one of the first people to ever speak about narcissists which is of course Sam Vaknen he is a diagnosed narcissist and a self proclaimed psychopath but I did contact him not too long ago I requested to do an interview with him and I wanted to speak about how is it possible that he's a self aware narcissist when one of the main traits is that narcissists are not self aware funny enough he declined to do that interview but can they get help from what I've seen on YouTube I mean there's one narcissist who's meant to be self aware his name is Lee Hammock and there's another one as well I can't remember his name and there's also someone that I've been speaking to recently his name is Jack and I'm going to be doing an interview a live interview on YouTube with him very soon and he is also a diagnosed NPD he's been having therapy for the last few years as have Lee Hammock and the other one on YouTube so they most definitely can get help they don't tend to go to therapy on their own it's usually if they're experiencing some form of crisis in their life and they feel like their only option is to go to therapy to keep their supply their job, their family whatever it is so they go to therapy and then after a few months they're having to accept that yes it is them and they are being diagnosed with the disorder of course this is very rare but it can happen don't assume that it will happen with the narcissist that you are dealing with because as I said it's very rare it's very unlikely most of them will never become self aware Maureen Schmidt says I finally decided that I'd rather be a lonely old lady sorry to hear that Maureen I know I make these messages everyday about narcissists but honestly the last thing I want for anyone is to be lonely and old of course I don't want to see that what I want for everyone is to be able to move on past these narcissists to find someone who really loves and appreciates you nothing could make me happier meant to receive an email from you what you're saying that you have moved on you've healed you've met someone who loves you who respects you who wants the best for you honestly nothing would make me happier than that and I don't know maybe it's because it goes back to my childhood again all of the things that I experienced one of which was when I was very young I must have been 3 or 4 years old my parents had a divorce of course that's a very traumatic experience for a child to go through so maybe it's kind of healing for me to see two good people especially those who have experienced narcissists they've been through this and then for us to move on and find someone who loves and cares about us it's just an amazing thing it's really beautiful and I want that for all of you for everyone who is watching this right now I hope that you will all move on and have a healthy relationship with someone and not just be alone not just stay to yourself I mean that is the saddest thing in the world to me to think that someone has been so hurt so traumatised that the narcissist just affects power over your entire life to where you don't move on you don't even try again not wanting to trust anyone I mean if that happens you just let the narcissist win that means that I have failed at my job if you don't move on if you're in a healthy relationship where you're happy with someone else that means that I have failed that's what that means Angela is mentioning about my meditation yes a few years ago I remember I did two meditation videos I was going to do more I'm not sure how many views those meditation videos got but I may do more again I'll take a look at it and if there's the demand then of course why not I will do more it can be very relaxing and healing I'll also have a few more pre-recorded videos coming very soon I will be uploading the first one it should be within the next few days the content is going to change dramatically on the channel of course the live videos will still be the same but the regular videos are going to change I'm going to be much more involved in the content if you've just joined us please hit that thumbs up button down below very important very helpful to our community thank you just looking through this live chat there's a lot of comments here it's good to see conversation people have the support with other viewers on here as well that's what it's about it's good to have this community Angela says when they get intimate it is robotic yeah that's very true and that's really sad when you think about it even with all of the arguments it's like you think alright yes let's just get through this argument let's just drop it and let's just be intimate instead maybe you can just get some relief from that nope because they can't even really be intimate as Angela said yes it's always robotic you never feel like you're connected to them you never feel like they're actually seeing you they're hearing you like they actually recognize that you're even there that you even exist it's always just about them and sex and intimacy is no different if you desire true intimacy sex with analysis it'll be boring for them it's just about control it's narcissistic supply they're not really physically or sexually attracted to you or anyone else it's just a means to get supply and for you you may be desiring closeness it's like when you're trying to be intimate you want to put your arms around them you want to kiss them and they're just pulling away they just don't want to do it there's nothing for them we discuss them and I mean what kind of experience is that it's no good it's just not human it's not like you're dealing with a real human at all is it Jeanette says hi I am a Bangladeshi girl nice to meet you Jeanette I've actually dated a few Bangladeshi girls myself not for a while though I've also got Sujata from India nice to meet you Sujata welcome to the channel and nothing from India as well an usual name John Tracy says they flirt with every male in public in front of you oh I know I remember that so many times I've experienced that with narcissistic women all the time and it's like they do it to kind of shame you and to make you feel like something is wrong with you or you're not good enough when in fact it's actually the opposite it just shows how human you are you're not a robot like them you actually feel and the reason why they're doing it it may be unconscious at times but once I explain it you will recognise it from this point on they do this they flirt with other people in front of you they triangulate you especially after they discourage you they act like they've gone off now they're living their best life with someone else they're doing all of that because you wanted more from them you expected more because you thought you were dealing with a real human being rather than a robot and they just couldn't do it they couldn't open up to you they couldn't be vulnerable they couldn't be intimate they have an inability to do that they abandoned their true selves a long time ago all they've got is just this false character the false character cannot be vulnerable and then they start to feel a lot of shame because deep down they know that something is seriously wrong with them they know that they should be able to connect and be intimate with you yes they know that they should be able to do that so when you're pressing them and you're expecting this from them they feel a lot of shame they recognise that something is seriously wrong with them and then they try to deflect it onto you by flirting with other people in front of you by triangulating you with someone to try to prove to you that no, in fact it's you they can do it with someone else just not with you but what they're doing with other people is fake and you've injured their pride and ego just by expecting intimacy from them so of course by that point they don't even want to fake it with you they probably know that they can't they know that you will see right through it they know you're not going to be susceptible to it so that's why they do that alright, I think that's good for this video it's been quite a long evening 76 minutes but as always I do enjoy speaking with you reading and responding to your comments it's great to have this community where we can share together where we can understand each other because of course there's no understanding where these knocks is it but yes, if you found this video helpful please hit that thumbs up button down below it's very important as it helps a YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors as well so that it can benefit them and then they can gain some understanding from it so very important yes hit that thumbs up button down below if you found this video helpful show your support and let me know what you think about this video let me know about any arguments you've had with a narcissist in the comment section down below let me know if you have any questions below let me know if you tried my advice what I've mentioned in this video and if it worked for you or not also don't forget to hit that subscribe button down below as well and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a video and if you would like to bug a one-on-one coaching session with me that service is now available to you you can just go to my website it is NarcSurvivor.co.uk and book a one-on-one session with me on there you can also follow me on Instagram it is NarcSurvivor YouTube I do have pictures and videos of my travels which I post every day on there thank you all for watching and as always I look forward to talking with you in another video very soon