 And so my son is already starting to display components of boy-like behavior There is a nurture, but there is definitely a nature component as well He's starting to get into things that he knows he shouldn't and he's starting to give the smile like Jack Don't do that. He'll be like You know and he's just like he knows he's doing something. He's not supposed to now all guys in the room here You couldn't be told That you can't crack concrete with your head You had to try and crack concrete with your head and you go oh god that hurts. Okay. I'll remember that Like ooh deaf and so there is some literature on this this whole notion of like oh the differences between the sexes and children is just Societally constrained and that's not true It's not 100% either way But for example, there's some literature that indicates that testosterone exposure in the womb alters play patterns of both boys and girls so Women or little girls who are exposed to more testosterone in the womb are more likely to play with trucks than dolls when they're when they're toddlers when their children and That boys also Girls their prefrontal cortex thickness that whole like you know I should probably listen and do this and plan into my future a little bit more That that starts to thicken and sort of reach its full thickness about 18 months earlier than boys So on top of the fact that we are delayed in puberty, right? Because women reach their full height and sort of full body at a much earlier age than we do We also suffer the fact that there are executive functioning in our brain is about 18 months behind Any girl you meet about the same age and this carries until full maturation in your 20s So we are it's great like you want the cocksure 20 something who certainly can change the world But it's also something that you you see at a young age, and it's it's actually nature It's not like oh, I just didn't care about my kid and let him play with like power tools And that's why he's you know jumping out of airplanes without a parachute like Travis Pastrana or something like that It's it's an element of how we learn we have better Hand-eye coordination, but worse fine motor control Great for doing and learning through activity Poor for sitting in the class and working like this and this is the great debate that originally all the schools for men and Then it became how do you how do you make a school structure that supports women? And now we've done a really good job of that because there are more girls in college and more girls graduating high school So now the opposite needs to be done like Boys are not mean or evil, and they're not just all ADD That we live in a high stimulation environment. We're in a high definition stimulation environment So our dopamine buttons always being clicked click click click click click click. You don't have ADD Your norm is just an elevated amount of dopamine. So all of a sudden sitting in class and paying attention is mind-numbing the boring. Oh my god, so So boring so this this is a camp I want to say it's in North Carolina a time magazine did a notion on on is called the myth of boys It's about a six-year-old article seven-year-old article But it talks about a school in Harlem of all places where it's an all-boys school And they graduate 100% of their people and the principal's talking like you know You got a you got to reach them in a way that that gets them interested in something And so you had these guys who are just dragging their asses They couldn't get they couldn't find something you like and finally let them set up a recording studio And once they had that thing that they were just so interested in everything else came up and they graduated They needed to do something actual hand-eye coordination and get up and move and it wasn't just sitting there and studying Chantigrate all that behavior. So you already start to see that at a young age My son doing things like So he's in the tub and he gets up and he'll reach to the toilet and go crack crack Crack on the toilet seat, but the first time he did that he about flipped out of the tub. I Caught him and he Put him back in the tub. What does he do? Crack crack Think about anything else you've done in your life. Oh I'm bleeding. I'm gonna do it again and learn from it I dislocated my my middle of my ring finger here when I was 15 years old playing basketball It dislocated the ball came down like this and these two digits ended up on the third digit It looked like a lightning bolt So I go into the hospital and I'm walking around and the nurse is making fun of me like what's going on here And I pull off the ice pack and she's like, oh god And they proceeded to give me two shots of numbing agent bend the thing backwards pull it up over the joint And then jam it back together. They splinted me and said don't play basketball. What do I do? I split I tied it to the pink. You know when play basketball Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a man. That's of course what I will do and if you look at the And if you look at the longitudinal statistics of men, here's the best part and then I'll move on the next slide which is if you look at the death rates and Depending on the amount of death split between men and women for certain diseases Trauma related is trauma related death. The men are like way up here And there's tiny tiny little bit for women and then you get to like dementia and and Alzheimer's and other Alzheimer's I'm for the dementia and it's all women and there's almost no man I go well This is easy to explain because all the all of their husbands where the guys said hey hold my beer watch this and Killed themselves in this first graph, and then they just kept living and then could I have a devil age dementia later? So you do have to watch out for that, but you don't want to stunt that right you want your kid to explore you want your kid to To be in a safe enough environment to know just how serious some of these things are that he's dealing with are There's a great Ted talk recently about this how like they intentionally this guy came up with a Camp for boys and like they're sick and they're like using power tools and using saws and driving cars and people's laps Because you have to learn the gravity of the situation. You only do that by by doing it So you know You're supportive and you keep a long leash on them. You don't want to be a helicopter parent But it's not a dichotomy. It's not either you're overbearing or you're totally absent and detached There's a middle ground of knowing that we all wanted to explore. I mean you can't help but explore I was in the desert behind my house as a kid coming back with cactus needles in me and a bad sunburn and You know running away from animals and you know all this kind of stuff and and He's gonna want to do that too and your kids are gonna want to do that too And you don't want to stifle that girls want to do it too That's actually I mean if you watch them at the playground girls play just as hard as boys just as hard and on top of that When they're young they're pretty damn strong too. So my playground. There's this like it's a track You hang on it and go like a zipline like you're some sort of a secret agent or a black ops guy And the girls are doing it more than the boys they grab on the kick their legs They go flying on the thing and at some point culturally we go that's that's not allowed That's not lady like and you don't want to stifle either of those because that's gonna set them up for a variety of things later in life