 Amen. So keep your place there in 1 Peter chapter 5. We'll get there in just a minute. So just to disclaimer this morning, I'm probably going to offend most of you this morning just to give you a little bit of a heads up there. Because of the title of the sermon, that's right. You should say amen because the Bible is there to smack you in the face. All right? So we're going to hit everybody a little bit this morning. Even myself, I'll give a couple of examples, but we're going to talk about something. You say, why would I say that right away? Because what we're going to talk about this morning is a major problem in our society. It's something that the culture of the world, the culture of the United States especially, is really moving in this direction. And I want to show you, hopefully I can convince you to shun that, to buck that status quo that you're seeing out in the world there today. But what I want to talk about today is being casual and the dangers of being too casual, especially in our Christian lives, in our relationships with people, with our families. But this is where society is moving today. It's just this casual everything today. And I want to talk about the dangers of being too casual this morning. So what does casual mean? What do I mean by being casual? I'm not talking about just having a casual conversation. I mean, we'll talk a little bit about conversations. But the definition of casual that I really want to hit on this morning is right out of the dictionary where it says the definition of casual is relaxed and unconcerned. Relaxed and unconcerned. So I want to talk about the dangers of being relaxed and unconcerned in your life this morning. Look down at 1 Peter chapter five and look at verse number eight. The first application of this is the casual Christian. You know, just the casual Christian. The Christian that is taking his Christianity, his obligations as a Christian, as a follower of Christ, you know, in a relaxing and unconcerned way. Look at 1 Peter chapter five and verse number eight. The Bible says this. It says, be sober and vigilant. You see those two words there? Why? Because you're adversary the devil, you know, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour. So we see these two words sober and vigilant. You know, it's pretty much the opposite of relaxed and unconcerned. So the relaxed and unconcerned Christian, the Bible here is telling is not going to do well. Because what is it going to take to resist the devil? Look, the devil Satan is real. Demons are real. These things are real. You know, I often thought I was driving down that we knocked on a door yesterday that had like, like, what is it, poem reader or something above the door and all this. And I've often thought, you know, obviously we'd never do this. But, you know, walking into one of those places, would that person know that I'm a Christian? Would that person recognize that, you know, I am a believer and a saved believer of the Lord Jesus Christ? Would they recognize that? And I was asking Brother Jeff this as we went soul winning. I was like, I've often thought that, you know, I'm never going to go to a poem reader obviously. I'm never going to go to a witch. But, you know, would they recognize it? And that, why do I think that way? Because that would tell me if it was a scam or not. Because look, those things are real, folks. Demons are real. Satan is real. It's a real thing. And Satan wants to attack you as a Christian. He can't take away your salvation. Satan can't take a saved believer and make them go to hell. It's impossible. You are sealed by the Holy Spirit. Satan is not strong enough to get you into hell. That's what he wants for the rest of the world. But Satan can derail you from your Christian life. He can stop you from being profitable. He can stop you from having a spiritual life. He can get you filled with sin, filled with vengeance, filled with all these things that will just kill your spiritual life. They will not kill your salvation, but they will make it to where you are unprofitable to anybody. So should you be relaxed and concerned, and unconcerned about this thing, which is your Christian life? I don't think so. The Bible says be sober. That means have your wits about you. Be vigilant. That means never let your guard down. Never be unconcerned. Look, it is the Christian today that is out there living his or her life for the Lord that is being profitable to others, that is passing people with God's word, with the Gospel that is passing people from death to life that has a target on their back. That is who Satan wants to attack the most. So we need to be sober, be vigilant in our Christian life. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 14. It's literally the opposite of being casual. It's literally the opposite of being relaxed and unconcerned. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 14. Let's talk about our church life. How about should I be casual and relaxed and unconcerned about my church life? Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 14 or look at the front of your bulletin. It's the verse of the week. The Bible says this says in 1 Corinthians 14 verse number 40 it says let all things be done decently and in order. Now Paul is talking to the church at Corinth here. You know that's talking about things in a church need to be, look I had better not be relaxed and unconcerned about what happens in this church. I had just better not, look that's the problem with Christianity today. That's the problem with Christian churches today. Look you could have a Christian church today that's a real Christian church that preaches the gospel, that you know they go out and they go soul winning and they do all the things they're supposed to do and they become relaxed and unconcerned and they're gonna have major problems in that church. Because what? The devil's trying to attack that church too. Things need to be done decently and in order. This is a problem with Christianity today. You know all these liberal churches, there's anything and everything goes. That's not the way this church is gonna run here because look I'm responsible for there. I'm not following you home. I'm not going to your house and telling you what to do in your house. I'll sit here and I'll scream the word of God to you and if you don't do those things in your home you know you'll deal with the consequences of those things but when it comes to who's gonna be responsible to the Lord Jesus Christ about what happened in this building that falls on me. And things must be done decently and in order. What kind of order? This order. That's it. So there may be things, that's why we turn to all these verses all the time. There may be things where you're just like oh man that's different than any other church. Like somebody got kicked out of church? That's different than any other church I've been to. That's just following the Bible. Nobody likes doing those things. Nobody likes confronting someone about fornication or drunkenness or anything like this but the Bible says those things are not to be in the church period. And I mean I didn't write the book God did. And things must be done decently and in order no matter what. That's why for men's we have a men's preaching night coming up. With a men's preaching night coming up and there's rules. There's rules for the men's preaching night. And look it's not an issue here because all the men here that preach know the rules and they know. I mean I require that the men that come up here and preach wear a shirt and tie. That's not a requirement to come to church here but I require that the men that come up here wear a shirt and tie. I wear a shirt and tie and a suit every single time I preach. Why? Is that because I'm great and I think I'm better than all of you? No it's because the Word of God is great and I'm showing respect for the Word of God. I'm not great. You are not great but this word is great. And we should show respect and reverence towards that. So there's rules. There's doctrines that they must abide by. They must abide by the clear doctrines in the King James Bible. You know what's funny? Just think about this for a minute. Of all the preachers that have come here to preach, of all the times that other preachers have come to our friends Verity Baptist Church, all the men that have gotten up to preach at men's preaching nights at Verity, at men's preaching nights here, nobody is telling these men, like I am not sitting down with these men and telling them what to preach. Isn't it strange that nobody gets up here and preaches some weird crazy doctrine? No, it's because they have the Holy Spirit inside them. They have the Holy Spirit inside them. They are saved and they read the Bible. They study the Bible. Now look, if somebody was saved and didn't have any idea what the Bible said and just decided to just come up with something to preach, it could possibly happen. But it doesn't happen because these are men that read the Bible, they study the Bible and the doctrines of the Bible are clear. The doctrines of the Bible are not, they're not complicated. They're not complicated to understand. So they just stick to the doctrines of the King James Bible and that's why you see every single time a preacher comes here to preach, I have no idea what they're going to preach. We don't talk about it. And it's just doctrines right out of the Bible and there's never an issue because somebody that is saved, that has the Holy Spirit in them, that reads the Bible. Look, the doctrines, God does not make it complicated. That's why you see people like, well, that's your interpretation and then they believe some weird false doctrine that can just be clearly proven from the Bible, like not of works. Isn't that the false doctrine that's out there? It's just like works-based salvation. So you get these people and they just preach all this works-based. Well, that's your interpretation. Yeah, I interpret not of works to mean not of works. It's bizarre. It's bizarre. But it's out of respect for the word of God. It's a formal respect for the Bible. That's what we're talking about. I don't sit here and somebody that got up here that was just flippant with the Bible, that was just relaxed and unconcerned and hadn't read any of the Bible. Think about this for a second. Could this person get themselves in trouble? They haven't read any of the Bible. They opened up a page. They read one verse and they preached the entire sermon, even though they'd read nothing of the rest of the Bible. Look, that person's going to get themselves in trouble because they're relaxed and unconcerned about the word of God. But it's not going to happen because the men that come up here preaching, they take it seriously. They read the Bible. They study the Bible. How about this? Look at Ephesians chapter five. Look at verse number one. How about this? Here's another one that we shouldn't be relaxed and unconcerned about. The words that come out of our mouth. How about that? The words that come out of our mouth. Look at Ephesians chapter five and verse number one. Ephesians chapter five, look at verse number one. The Bible says, Be therefore followers of God as dear children and walk in love as Christ also hath loved us and hath given himself for us in offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor. But fornication and all cleanliness or covetousness, let it not be once named among you as become a saints. He's talking to believers here. He's talking to people who are saved. Look what he says here. He says, Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks. He's talking about like what saved people, what should come out of saved people's mouth. That's what he's talking about. Now look, again, I don't really care how you speak in your house, at home or at work. I mean, look, I do care, but I don't have any control over that. And here's the other thing. If you do speak different at church than you do at home or than you do at work, I think you're leaving a major benefit to the Christian's witness on the table. Because there is nothing in my opinion that can more quickly distinguish who you are to the world than the things that you say, the way you speak, and the things that you don't say. Especially when you're out at a job, out at work, wherever. Look, I've been in construction sites for 25 years. There's nothing I haven't heard. It's not like, oh, Pastor doesn't like party words. There's nothing I haven't word. I don't like them. But there's nothing I haven't heard. But the point is, those things in the house of God, we should not be casual with our speech. Don't get casual with your speech here. It's just, you know, look, yeah, there's a lot of words in the Bible. But you can't just use those words in any context and have them be fine. I mean, just taking God's name in vain is a perfect one. That's one where like, we can be out on a construction site, and somebody like uses Jesus Christ's name as a swear word. I will say something. I will speak up in those cases, because that deeply offends me. So you can't just take any Bible word folks, and just spew it in any sentence you want, and think that that's appropriate. It's not in the church. A good rule, here's my philosophy with with language. And this is my philosophy, how I've raised my kids, all that. When the men of the church sit in a circle, stand around talking about things. A five year old should be able to walk into that conversation and be edified by that conversation. If you don't want your five year old saying something, then don't speak that way. Because if you speak a certain way, even in your house, if you speak a certain way, that's how your kids are going to talk. So look, that kind of governs my speech. That should govern, like, that's my standard here. That should govern the way. There should be, look, because guess what? The men of the church will be sitting down, we'll be talking, and guess what? Kids will plop down and just listen. And that's good. That's a good thing for the kids to sit down and, you know, what's a man talk about? And I've told my kids when they're young, hey, you want to come and sit with the men, that's fine, that's great, but you should be quiet and listen. But they should be edified by what they hear. So that should be our rule. If you, if you've got a lot of little kids in this church, that should be our rule. If we don't want a five-year-old or a six-year-old saying it, or saying it a different way than, you know, just remember that we shouldn't be casual with our speech. Because these kids will repeat these things. They will begin to talk how we talk. It's important. Go to Ephesians chapter five. You're, you're there still. Stay in Ephesians chapter five. How about this? The world is teaching today that we should have casual relationships. That relationship should be casual. Everything about relationships is casual. What does the Bible say? Look at verse number 22 of Ephesians chapter five. Talking about marriage. Look, marriage is the formal relationship that God defines in the Bible. It's very formal. It's very detailed. Look at how detailed it is. Look at verse number 22. It says, wives, submit yourselves under your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in things they agree with. No, in everything. Boy, people really hate this today. Nothing fires people up like, like this. That wives should be in subjection to their husbands just as this church is in subjection to Christ. It is the most serious subjection, meaning he's in charge of the marriage. He's in charge of the family. Look at verse number 25. Now we go into the husbands. Look, that's a very formal declaration of the structure of the family and the responsibility of the wife. It's very formal. It is not relaxed and unconcerned. Look at verse 25. Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church. That's pretty specific and pretty formal right there. Saying, husbands, love your wives how? Like, I love my wife. I love my wife. I gave her flowers. No, as how did Christ love the church? Christ didn't come to earth and be like, I love you guys. And just saying, just like, have this feeling of butterflies in his stomach that, hey, I love you. No, he came and he gave his life. He gave everything for it. This is the kind of love that's a tall order for a husband. That's a very formal command and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but it should be holy and without blemish. If you take verse 26 and verse 27, that directly commands the husband. He's not only verse 25, he's not only supposed to be sacrificial to his family, meaning if there's nothing to eat, if there's not enough to eat, you don't eat. Meaning that you take the worst and you're a sacrificial leader, you're a servant leader. But in verse 26 and verse 27, he's talking about you are the spiritual leader of your family. It is your job to spiritually edify your family. If your children grow up and they do not know who Jesus Christ is, it's your fault. That's formal. That's very concerned and that is not relaxed. Talking about literally the spiritual well-being, is there any more serious well-being that there could be? We're talking about heaven and hell. You're saved. You're saved, but just you just go and have a bunch of kids that they're not automatically saved because you are. How are people not concerned about this? Because they're too casual. That's why. Because they're they're not concerned. And we got to go out and we got to beg people to be concerned about their salvation today. We got to try to be convincing and persuasive to get one individual to be concerned about their eternal destination. They're just relaxed and flippant about the eternal destination or even the spiritual growth folks of their own families. Do you know? Do you know? Let me just ruin your your day as a parent today. Do you know that you could have some kids and look we got some really great kids in this church. And I love every single one of these kids in this church. You know what? By the time these kids they stand up here and they listen to the Bible and they listen to pastor just yell and scream the Bible to them and they're going to get saved when they're six, seven, eight years old. Pretty soon they're going to start asking their parents, hey am I going to heaven? And we're going to get a chance to preach the gospel to them. And a child that's been in church even as a young child is going to understand the gospel at a very young age because they know who Jesus is and they've heard the Bible preached and they've been out soul winning with their parents and they've heard the gospel. They're going to start asking questions like what about me? What about me? And then when you explain and you preach the gospel to them directly they're just they're going to believe it and they're going to get saved at a very young age. It's a beautiful thing. It's one of the greatest reasons that God designed the church to be a family integrated church. We're not family integrated because somebody made this up because like pastor Jimenez or pastor Anderson made it up. No, it's in the Bible. And they're reading the Bible is very clear in the Old Testament to say that the children and the women were there as well. This is why. They'll get saved at a young age, but back to my point there's no guarantee that the devil's not going to devour them in this life just because you got them saved. It's not like you get them saved when they're seven and you're just like done. Yes. Because I know plenty of saved people that have fallen into horrible, horrible sin that have destroyed their lives. You'll meet drug addicts folks who are saved. You'll make people who have made mistakes in their lives the type of mistakes that they cannot undo that are saved. There's no guarantee that just because our children get saved that suddenly everything's fine. And if you do not prepare them to be vigilant and sober by being that spiritual leader, you notice how much time do I spend on the women here? How much time am I spending on the men? Why? Because it's their fault when it all comes apart because they're in charge. When the ship sinks it's the captain's fault. So it is important that God declares this formal declaration in the most extreme language, the most extreme comparison that he possibly can with the example of Christ and the church. There's nothing casual. There's nothing unconcerning. There's nothing relaxed about this. It's very formal. So look, it's a formal thing, your marriage. It's a formal thing, the responsibilities of a husband and a wife. Now look, let me say this again about the formal responsibilities of the husband and the wife. And this is one that people just miss, people don't understand. Let me fix 75% of the marriages in America right now, at least the ones that believe the Bible. These responsibilities of the husband and the wife are independent of each other. Notice who's speaking. This is the Word of God. This is Jesus Christ here. This is the Holy Spirit telling us these things. It does not say that a wife has to be submissive to her husband. She has to reference her husband. She has to follow her husband be submissive in everything as unto the Lord, by the way. That's another sermon in itself. A husband can't tell his wife to go do something ungodly because God's ultimately in charge. But the point being is that these responsibilities, your responsibility as a wife is independent of whether or not he is fulfilling his role as a husband. And your responsibility of a husband, of being that sacrificial spiritual leader, is independent of whether or not she is being a submissive wife. Because what people will do is this. Well, I'm not a submissive wife because he's, you know, he's, you know, not doing his job. And then it's just this, it's this endless, it's like the Middle East war, right? Like, it's this endless thing that can't be solved. Because like, who fired the first shot? Well, I mean, we can't figure that one out. But the point is, is that if you run your marriage that way, it's not going to go well. Because your responsibility, so you're like, well, he doesn't provide for me and he's not making a good decision. It doesn't matter, you still, I mean, you know, this is why young women need to choose who they marry. It's the most important decision of their life. Some people are bad leaders. You should know that before you get into that marriage that is forever. But the point is these rules are independent of one another. It's like, well, my wife, she's not submissive to me. It doesn't matter. Be that sacrificial, be that spiritual leader. Be that sacrificial leader that you are supposed to be. Do your job because you're subservient to God. It is God that is telling you to do this, not your wife. It is God that is telling you to be a submissive wife, not your husband. These are commands from God. We fulfill them independently. We'd have a lot less trouble in marriages if people looked at things that way. I mean, there's plenty of, there's plenty of casual men out there. It's called laziness. I mean, but it just doesn't mean that you don't have to maintain that reverence. It may mean it's harder for you to maintain that reverence, but these commands come from God, not from your spouse. All right? Now, look, turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. I kind of went off there, but the point is, is that marriage is a very formal relationship that God has defined. Marriage is formal. It is not relaxed and unconcerned about anything. It's very formal. God laid it out. Genesis 2, you know, 2 become 1 flesh. It's very formal. There's an anti-marriage crowd out there today, folks, that is trying to just take away this formality. And I'm not talking about sodomites and perversion. I'm talking about just people that say that you shouldn't get married. It's a push today. It's a cultural push today. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 in verse number 2. You know what that's called? That's called fornication. I don't care how long, oh, we've been together for 20 years and everything's fine. You know what? That's fornication. That's what it is. And the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7, 2, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife. Let every woman have her own husband. If you're just like, well, we're going to just going to be together and not be married, that's fornication. You should be married. In 1 Corinthians 6, just one chapter before, it says, flee fornication. We should have nothing to do with it. It's this casual idea of relationships. No, relationships, especially, you know, you want a young man who wants to have a physical relationship with a young lady, then that's called marriage. That's what God wants to happen there. It is formal. There is a formal way to do things right. Even this idea of dating, of dating today. I mean, first of all, dating to the world is divorce training. That's what it is. It's literally divorce training. I mean, modern dating, I'm not talking about dating as it pertains to us. We'll get there in a minute, but modern dating is just, first of all, it's fornication. It's just fornicate and repeat. That's what it is. It's disgusting and you know what? It's ruining people's chances at a godly marriage. Because if you go out and you just fornicate and repeat and fornicate and repeat and then you think you're just going to go and just get married to some godly woman or some godly man, it works either way. I mean, some godly person is going to be like, oh, you've been living the last 10 years or five years of your life by just fornicating and living with all these people and all that and they're going to be like, I mean, look, Ferraris don't marry Volkswagen's. Every marriage is a business transaction. Even worldly marriages are business transactions. Think about it. They're business transactions. Even some old ugly guy, they go marry some, you know, young lady or whatever. What happened? Well, he's got a bunch of money. They're just, those are surface level sinful transactions. She's like, well, he's got all this money and he's like, well, you know, she's 20 or 30 years younger than me. Deal. I mean, that's a worldly transaction but even spiritual marriages, they're transactions. Look, you're supposed to be equally yoked, the Bible says. But the point is, is that modern dating is divorce training. It's just fornication. That's all it is. It is just getting people used to just breaking up and breaking up and breaking up and oh, I love him and now I don't love him I love him and love his action, folks. Oh, the butterflies went away and all this and it's crazy. It's like training people to get divorced and then they actually do get married and I go, well, the butterflies went away and I've done this 12 times before. What's the big deal? It's just a piece of paper and they don't have any respect for the institution of marriage in the first place. But back to the point. Let's just go back to, let's talk about actual biblical dating. Should that be formal or should that be casual? Turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 6. You should never be dating someone, now that we know what we want, we know about what God wants for a relationship between a man and a woman. He wants them to be married if they want to have a physical relationship, have a life together, you know, all these different things. You should never be dating someone that you don't intend to marry. Wow, that's extreme. Well, get your head out of the media. Get your head out of the movies, get your head off a TV because this is what the Bible teaches. A relationship between a man and a woman is to end in marriage. If they want to have a physical relationship and be together and they're to be together forever, all right? Look, so if you're dating someone that you know you would never marry, you should not be dating them in this Christian life. Biblically, you say, well, how do you know? Well, there's several disqualifying factors right up front and you're just like, well, does it matter how good looking they are? No, it doesn't. This is the problem with many people. First of all, if they're not saved, they should, you should not be dating them. Period. I'm not saying you can't get somebody saved and then start dating them with the intent of marrying them. I mean, there's plenty of stories that we know where people have very happy marriages where they met and one of them wasn't saved and they got the other saved and then they began dating. That is completely appropriate. But here's another one. If you're in 2 Corinthians chapter 6, look at verse number 14. The Bible says, be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness. So, yeah, you shouldn't date somebody that's not saved, but you also shouldn't date somebody that is just not spiritually minded at all. You're, you know, I'm a soul winner. I come to church three times a week. I want to serve the Lord with my life and then you meet somebody and they're saved but, you know, she just doesn't like coming to church or he just doesn't really go to church and doesn't really want to, you know, continue going to church. Look, there's plenty of people like that that are saved. You should not be dating that person unless they want to change, you know, how spiritually minded they are and move in that direction. That is not somebody that you should be dating. 1 Timothy 5.8 says this, but if any provide not for his own, for those of his own household, his house, he has denied the faith, he is worse than any of them. You shouldn't be dating someone, ladies, that can't support you. You're like, why? We're just dating. But the point is marriage. You shouldn't be dating somebody that can't support you or has no plan to be able to support a family. Turn to Matthew chapter 5. There's all these disqualifying factors and you'll notice I haven't talked about how good looking the person is yet. Look at Matthew chapter 5 verse number 32. Here's another one. You shouldn't be dating somebody as a Christian who's divorced. That sounds mean, but that's just the Bible. They're trying to beat up on somebody that's divorced, but we're not going to have somebody that is divorced come into this church and wanting to date single people in the church. It's never going to happen. What will happen? I will throw myself into the situation. That's what will happen. And it's never happened here, but it's happened places before. It's happened. The Bible says, you say, why are you so mean to divorce people? I'm not mean. I'm just following what the Bible says. Do we have to go back to that we have to run things decently in an order here? Look at Matthew 5 verse 32. Jesus says, But I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery, and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced, commiteth adultery. So the Bible here is saying is that if you get divorced, look, God hates divorce, the Bible says. If you get divorced, that you should remain single. That's what the Bible was saying. And that's, you say, well, that's mean to divorce people. But you know what? If people would actually follow this, you know, a lot fewer people would get divorced. Because what happens is you get people that are in marriages. You get people that are in marriages and they're like, you know what? I really think my life could be better if I was married to that guy. Or if I was married to that girl. You're like, that's not extreme. That happens all the time. That's why people get divorced many times. Is that some wife leaves her husband for some other guy, or some husband leaves his wife for some other woman. But if people were actually following the Bible, maybe, you know, they're in some bad situation and they're like, well, you know, my choice is either stay married here or be single for the rest of my life. I bet you a lot of people would stay and work that marriage out. I've talked to so many people just by the way. And all of this preaching is for people that have not been married yet. And for people that are married and maybe are thinking about divorce. That's what this preaching is for. It is not to punch people in the face that have been divorced. So if you're a divorced person and you're listening to this online or you're listening to sermons like this and it offends you, you just need to get over yourself. Because there's more people that, you know, there's another generation coming up that needs to hear the truth. That's the problem. So if the choice is I can work this marriage out or be single for the rest of my life, you know what? I bet you there's a lot more people that stay married. The vast majority of people that I know personally that have been divorced, you've talked to them 20 years later, and I don't care if they've been married two more times, three more times, whatever it is, and I won't get into those stats. But the vast majority of people I know personally that they've been divorced, they wish they would have stayed and worked out that first marriage. The vast majority of people that I know that aren't just total fools and wicked people. They wish they would have stayed and worked it out. Marriage is very formal. Dating should be very formal. Dating should have one purpose. And Baptist dating, you know, we can talk about that after service. You want to ask me what that is? I'm not even really sure what that is. It's basically exclusively talking to people. When you're exclusively talking to another person, that's kind of Baptist dating. But look, you should not be exclusively talking to somebody in the church, in another church, unless they are marriage material. It's very simple. Because marriage is the formal goal, young people. Not having fun and hanging out or whatever. And you know what? I mean, this is the decision in your life right here. This is the decision. And if you're a young person, here's another thing that I would add here, not to just derail the entire sermon, but another thing I would add, if you're a young person, I would just, I would memorize Ephesians chapter 5. I would memorize those responsibilities. Because the more a young lady and a young man understand those responsibilities, the better choices they will make and who they marry. And you know what, folks? It is all about that choice because it's forever. This is why, this is why that God gives the Father as a help to the young lady. Because he knows, God cares about these young ladies. He knows that who she will choose as her leader is the most important decision she will make in her entire life. And God puts that dad there and he's like, you know what, I need some protection for this young lady. I need some protection so she doesn't go and find some guy that's really good-looking and goes and marry him, has a miserable life. So he gives the ladies, the young ladies, that extra protection. Turn to Proverbs chapter 18. Marriage is the formal declaration. I'm sick and tired of hearing all these media figures and all this pretending like, oh, just having a relationship that you're in and you're just not with anybody else is marriage. It is not. It is fornication. It is being a whore longer and it is being a whore the Bible says. That's what it means. The difference between right and wrong is very clear. How about this one? Friendships. Friendships. You shouldn't have just casual friendships. Look at Proverbs chapter 18. One of just such a great proverb in the Bible. Now look, everybody wants friends. Everybody wants friends. Everybody. Did you know, though, that you know how I like all-time highs and all-time lows? You know, there's all-time low of people in the United States today that have friends. It's at an all-time low. I mean, all-time lows. People that know the Bible. People that have no friends, you know, is at an all-time high. I love these trends because I wonder if they're connected. Here's a, let me give you some stats here from a bigthink.com. And I don't know these websites or really care. But I mean, 12% of people, it's all-time lows. These are all-time low or high numbers, however you want to look at it. 12% of people have zero friends. 25% of people have no one they can talk to. From the New York Post, it says 49% of people, this is half of people in the United States, have fewer than three people, meaning one or two people that they would consider close friends. And here's what's worse. Friendship, according to all these studies, friendship declines like your ability to have friends declines after the age of 25. And one of the main reasons for that is people, you know, have families and get married and all these different things. So think I'm a 25-year-old and I have no friends. Well, what's happening is, I mean, here's just the mechanics of it, what's happening is more and more people in society are getting married and having families and have less and less time to hang out with me, this 25-year-old guy that is just single and just has no friends. Which, you know, there's probably reasons I don't have friends. We'll get to that in a minute. But the point is, is that it is the ability to have friends declines after 25 years. Now you combine that with the fact that we have never had that the age of average marriage in the United States has never been higher. So you combine the fact that there's more and more of these single people and people are getting married later and later in life and people have friends less and less and less and you start to see why we have a generally unhappy section of society. Especially the, you know, Gen Z and Gen X. Now look at Proverbs chapter 18. But the Bible see it solves this for us. Proverbs chapter 18, look at verse number 24. Proverbs chapter 18, look at verse number 24. The Bible says, a man that hath friends must. So first of all, the Bible isn't calling out a guy that has a bunch of friends. It's saying, if you want to have friends, this is what you need to do. That's what the Bible is saying. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. And there's a friend that's taken closer than a brother. But I really want to focus on the first part of that because the Bible here is saying that if you want to have friends, you must show yourself to be friendly. You say, what in the world does that mean? So you're like, well, I'm socially awkward or I'm an introvert or whatever. Well, the Bible here is saying like, if you can't change that about yourself, you're not going to have any friends. That's why you see socially awkward people. Look, I'm not beating up on people that are introverts or socially awkward or whatever. But I know a lot of people like that, by the way, who are awesome soul winners and have a billion friends. Why? Because they've overcome that. Because why? Because they show themselves friendly. They do things that are friendly towards other people. The Bible is saying, if you want to have friends, you are in control of that. I mean, the Bible here is saying, fix that. Fix that and you'll have friends. See, here's the thing. Everybody wants friends that are formal with them. Isn't that true? Isn't that true that everybody wants? I mean, this is what people call a good friend, right? Somebody that is, I mean, what is the definition of casual? What do we, it's somebody that is unconcerned and relaxed. How many people want friends that are just unconcerned with them and just completely relaxed and just don't even ever think about them? Nobody wants that. Everybody wants this group of friends that is really concerned about them, that is concerned about what's going on in their life, that pays attention to them, that gives them attention, that cares about them on a regular, consistent basis. See, the problem is everybody wants that friend, but very few people, as those stats showed you, are that friend. And the Bible here is saying it's kind of counterintuitive when you think about it. The Bible here is kind of saying that if you want that type of friend, you need to be that type of friend. And then you will get that. It will come back upon you. You can't be a casual friend and expect to have real friends. It reminds me, there was this story of this guy that he was like a Bitcoin billionaire. He like, and he stole all these Bitcoins from this dark website or whatever. And when he was getting arrested, there was all these articles, and there was, I think there was even a book written on him, but basically one thing that came out was this guy, he was this young kid. He was like in his mid-20s or whatever. And he just wanted people to like him. He wanted people, you read the story of what happened to this guy, he stole all these Bitcoins, he was literally a billionaire. And he just wanted, I mean he was obviously living a bad life and all this kind of stuff, but he wanted so badly to have friends and to have companions, and he couldn't get any. Billions of dollars, see money can't buy you these friends. He just had people that took advantage of him, that stole from him. He wanted people to like him so much that he would carry around a briefcase with a million dollars in cash in it. And one of the investigators asked him, why in the world would you have a briefcase with a million dollars in cash? And he said, because I wanted to try to impress girls. He wanted to try to get a girl to like him, by carrying around this briefcase with a million dollars. And the investigator said to him, did it ever work? And he said, no. So there you go. You don't need tons of money to have a decent relationship. Okay? But the point is, is that you can't buy these friends. You have to be friendly. I mean, he should have just read Proverbs 18, 24. Saved himself a bunch of money. And probably many years in jail, I'll tell you, because what he's up to now. But I mean, the point is this, you can't buy this. The Bible is just telling us you have to be this, and then you'll have it. All right? So I mean, you should have, you should call your friends. I mean, you should think about your friends. You should, I mean, you should reach out to people. You know, this is literally, let me give you an example now. I told you I'd offend everybody. Let me offend myself, okay? So, you know, hospitality is one of the qualifications of a pastor. Think about this for a second. When I get a missed call from one of you, and it has gone by for, I try to keep my, I have two stupid phones and four email addresses and all these different things. And I, you know, I always say that we're over-communicating in our society today, but that's another complaint on its own. But I, if I pick up my phone, and sometimes what I'll do is before church, before church, I will hit do not disturb on my phone. And then sometimes I will forget that I have do not disturb on for like two days. And then I will turn off do not disturb. And it's like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, all these messages come in and I'm just horrified if it's somebody from the church. I'm like, ah! Because I mean, what would that mean if you called your pastor and he just never called you back? You would sort of think like, this guy doesn't care about me. And obviously if things happen, you set things on your phone or whatever. But the point is, is that you need to show concern. Like, I'm horrified by that because if somebody would call me and I would see the call, I'd pick it up right away or if I miss it, I'd call them back right away. Because I'm concerned. I really am concerned. I really do want to reach out to people. But you have to be, show that hospitality, show that you're concerned. And then you will have friends. It's very simple. You should call your friends. You should think about your friends. You should, you know, I mean, but people see, people will do this. They won't show hospitality. Because they're afraid, you know, introverted people, socially challenged people, whatever you want to say. You know, they will not want to reach out to people for fear of rejection. They will not want to have somebody, you know, invite somebody to something or I've got a birthday party. Do you want to come to a birthday party? They won't want to do that because of fear of rejection. You have to get rid of that. You have to get rid of that. Why? Because the Bible says you have to show it. You have to show it. Look, God did it for us. I mean, God commanded his love toward us. And that when, because we were really great and nice. No, God commanded his love toward us in warrior yet sinners. We're a bunch of jerks down here and God reached out to us in the most friendly way by sending his son to die for us. He reached out to us. We need to treat our friends the same way. If we want friends, this is who we need to be. You know, you can change in your life. You know, if you're, you know, you know how many people I have seen that are super quiet people, that are super introverted people, and you go out soul-winning with them and you hear them preach the gospel and you're like, what in the world who is this guy? Because they've overcome that. Some of the best soul-winners that I know are very quiet people, but they are just very good at preaching the gospel. They've overcome that. Look, if we all just decide that we're going to be who our tendencies tell us we should be, you're like, we've got no chance at this thing. Because we've all got different problems, folks. So the Bible is saying initiate. Initiate. Initiate. Don't be a casual friend. Be a formal friend. You know, don't be that guy that sometimes, you know, responds, never reaches out to their friends. This is someone that will not have friends. It's very simple. Because they aren't a friend. So what am I trying to get at here? I'll try to land the plane here. Being casual will get you nowhere good. That's what I'm trying to say. Being casual in your relationships especially, that's why even at work the Bible says dress for that, you know, not the Bible, but haven't you ever heard the saying, you know, dress for the job you want? This is what people, I can't tell you how many interviews I've been in over the last 10 years are people like, they don't even, like they wear their pajamas to the interview. I'm just like, you know what you're saying? You're saying before you say anything, you're saying, I don't care if I get this job. I'm casual. I'm unconcerned about getting this job. And see, you know, showing up on time to work. You know what you're saying? You're saying I don't care about this. But guess who does care? The boss. The guy that owns the place. He cares. Get formal in your life, in your relationships, in your marriage, in your friendships. Pay attention. Show you care. Like ultimately God does not want a casual relationship with us because if you're casual in everything, you're going to be casual in your relationship with God as well. Don't be relaxed and unconcerned. Because guess what folks? Is that what you want from God? Is that what you want when you're praying to God for him to fix something in your life, for him to deliver something for you in your life? We're going to talk about that tonight. But when you're praying in those situations, let's say you're just this person that prays whenever you get in trouble. You're like, you only dial 911. That's your prayer life philosophy. But say you are dialing 911. Do you want God to be just relaxed and unconcerned with you? No, you want a formal God at that point. Do you not want somebody that's going to show that he cares about you at that point? Of course you do. So if you don't show to other people, you're a hypocrite. God doesn't want an on-again-off-again relationship with you. He wants consistency. And another thing, the last thing about being casual is this. Being casual is the first step to inappropriateness. Whether it comes from just applying it to relationships and dating, but it's the first step to literal sin. You start getting a little too casual with the way you speak. You know what will happen if you go to a job and you are this person that wants to be, look, when you go into the world, especially men, if you are casual and flippant about you will just conform to the way other people speak. Did you know that? And other people speak in a bad way. I mean, it is crazy. Like, profanity is getting so bad. Like, sometimes I'll literally say to somebody, like, do you realize that you just swore like seven times in two sentences? It makes you sound like a moron, first of all. It makes you sound like an idiot. Like, you just don't know how to find words. You can't use words, so you just like insert profanity. But if you are not concerned and you are too relaxed as a Christian, you will start to conform to that yourself. So you need to be careful and formal. You want friends, be formal as a friend. Don't be lax in the role in your family, be a formal husband, be a formal wife. Nobody, no wife out there, wants a husband who is leading her family who is relaxed and unconcerned about everything. No wife wants that. This is why feminism, you know, messes up so many young ladies. Because they tell these young ladies that what they do is they, and this is outside the Christian world. This is just a truth. They tell these young ladies, you need to be in charge of a man. You need to compete with the man. You need to do all these things. So what do they do? They find a weak man. They find a weak man, and then pretty soon they start having children. And you know what they want? They want to provide for their children that maternal instinct their conscience takes over. And pretty soon they realize they married this puppy man that can't protect them, can't support them, can't do anything. Now they're upset. Hey, feminism gave that to you. The Bible is telling you, you find a strong man to marry. You find a strong man who is equally yoked, who's saved, who's equally yoked with you, that is going to lead you and strength through the Bible and everything's going to work out. So it's these things we need to listen to upfront in our Christian lives. And God, you know, God doesn't want us relaxed and unconcerned in our Christian lives. We're to be sober and we're to be vigilant if we want to make it through this thing. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.