 I will not fill the bag of holding with dirt so we can just fill in pit traps as we detect them. In the middle of Black Ops, a diversion of not blowing off the top twenty floors of the building. Can't set the bag on fire until after I've blown the persuasion roll. If I fail to make a bluff check, can't shoot him to change it to an intimidate check. Not possible to fire a gun with your teeth. Humming the James Bond theme in the middle of Black Ops doesn't give me any bonuses. They make plate metal in a variety of styles, crotchless is not one of them. Can't use my attack bonus as a substitute for the skill, Hibachi Chef. I can't take telekinesis as an auxiliary mode just to get free food from the snack machine. Dual wielding spike chains do not let me use the battle cry, danger will rob us in danger. I will not convince the entire party to play rocker boys so we can be a Europe cover band. Can't take a level of monk just for tone. Droogie is not a starting language. After casting my one first level spell, can't leave the dungeon to go to sleep. Can't bribe the bio-kinetic to take my drug test for me. On second thought, let's not disguise the wookies in the Stormtrooper uniforms. Our runic facial tattoo is acceptable for my berserker, not a betty boop. Have one point in every single skill in the game doesn't count as a superpower. Can't clean out the dungeon by renting the adjacent dungeon and being as obnoxious as possible. Goldfish do not get a bonus in a stardown. My mech gunner can't have a nude pent up in his cockpit, especially if it's over his pilot. But she's hot is not an acceptable excuse for my black ops solo dating the tabloid reporter. No matter how much we look, we're not fighting the secret door leading to the back of the villains hideout. Druids do not hibernate. Before I make my next wish, I have to ask myself, is this going to shatter the very fabric of reality again? Any gun that can fire more rounds in one shot than I can physically carry is vetoed. If given a stock NPC, I must play him as written, so Jar Jar has to lose the serrapin and the cigar. I do not get a bulk discount at the Jenny's Guild. The flaw of tedious personal habit teleports in the romantic moments is only available at the maximum penalty. The kinetic redhead chick is not a real superhero. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot circumnavigate the world on foot in one turn. There are no alignment restrictions on becoming a lawyer. Nowhere in the Bible does this say ninjas have to line up in a straight line to fight me. If escorting a high priority target, I can't bioscope the entire team to look like her. Nerve gas complicates fast talk rolls. I take the shape of any animal the GM doesn't know. The power of Christ compels me to not justify my blessed actions. I cannot take life insurance out on anybody I have for the enemy background. Psychotherapy doesn't eliminate the alignment change penalty. Just because I've hit name level does not automatically give me groupies. I will not abuse the exemplary virtue to set up highly choreographed dance routine with random crowds. In the middle of a black ops, I cannot make an educational video. We do not need an elf on this dungeon crawl for the same reason reminders need canaries. I am not Bjorn of Borg. Before accepting a harem as a reward for my heroism needs a check with the wife. I can't get any equipment before the GM can Google it. If Australia doesn't exist, I can't use my Australian accent even if I am playing a space koala. I cannot bet the power gamer he can't fillstrip the grenade faster than me. Even if the rules allow it, I can't catch drop cannonballs with my teeth without drawbacks. I will not make my castle walls 9x9x9 to keep out gelatinous cubes. The ability to give superpowers to characters is acceptable, naming the character Captain franchise is not. The most important stat in Koala Cthulhu is not movement. If we're Sutherland does not make numerous cameos in my character's background telling him he's destined for greatness. No matter how high my strength, still can't use that wall as a shield. I will not convince the entire party to play identical Kybe to the same character on the grounds where sex tuplets. No matter his age, my bard can't start a boy band. Despite the halberd being six foot long, I can't hit monsters more than five feet away. Even if it's been more than two hours since we left the bar, the dwarf isn't getting the DTs. No matter how practical, I can't have shotgun chucks. The town drunk is not our one stop source for all mythos happening in every town. I will not base my Koala Cthulhu character off the lead character in Slingblade. Even if I'm pissed for working on my birthday and available black ops, I will not refer to my CO only by its first name. If I don't have an instrument for my bardic song, an air mandolin won't suffice. After creating with a cannon, we can't dump a barrel of gunpowder over the gunner's mate. Elves aren't marsupials. Even if we're freezing to death, I can't cut open the half-orc and shove the elf inside him. Using pre-cog on the personals to find out who puts out on the first day of abusing the power, there was no such thing as a tequila golem. A paladin with a British accent is acceptable, one with a Peter Lorre accent isn't. When I'm allowed a bunny as a familiar, that doesn't include Avafabian. I will not make a superhero that requires a graphing calculator to create. I cannot take the flaw enemy random packs of wild dogs. Threesome is not a specialty of the seduction skill. Shotguns are not a traditional part of Texas funerals. There's short change at the Hong Kong deli I will call the manager, not role for initiative. There is something wrong with a second level kamikaze. I was not issued a flamethrower for my own personal amusement. Disabled plot device is not a real skill. Nowhere in the plan does Franco go in where the others have been. Mummus does not appear in the starting equipment list for a reason. As a matter of fact, a 90-foot tall hostile pineapple is much more terrifying than a dragon. My last wish cannot be for Ragnarok. Trailed blaze means find a path, not cut down every tree between here and there. Elves do not take 1d-3-1 minutes for their entire menstrual cycle. In the middle of a black ops I cannot moonlight as tech support. Even if it isn't the rules, I have to use the same scale miniature as everyone else. I cannot switch miniatures between each combat. Even if I'm starving, can't suckle the elf chick. David Bowie can't cast glitter dust at will. This issue is also closed. When asked to describe my character, I can leave out the hickeys. Even if he botches his medicine roll, I can't sue the med tech for malpractice. Keele the Wabbit is not a proper Viking battle cry. The rest of the party would appreciate if it don't take Munch-Hawson syndrome by proxy of the flaw. Even if the rule will allow it, I can't empty out the entire castle for a week with just a cherry bomb. Corporate pop whore is not a real prestige class. Dracar Hart Gorgir is not a proper name for a paladin. Dwarves can't take trees as favorite enemies. I can't beat on a drought until he admits his name is Toby. The script for the Baywatch movie does not cause more sanity loss than the Necronomicon. I can't train squirrel mobs to abuse the grapple rules. I will stop referring to the power gamer as Min Maximus.