 The Jack Benny program, transcribed and presented by Lucky Strike. The cigarette that's toasted to taste better. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste. Yeah, it's the toasted cigarette. This is Don Wilson. I'd like you to listen to just the last part of that song once again. It's the toasted cigarette. That's one important reason the Lucky tastes better. It's toasted. The fine tobacco that goes into every Lucky is toasted to taste better. It's toasted. The famous Lucky Strike process brings Lucky's fine tobacco to its peak of flavor, tones up this light, mild and naturally good tasting tobacco to make it taste even better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. That's why we say this. If you want real enjoyment from your cigarette, make it Lucky Strike. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste. Yeah, it's the toasted cigarette. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Rochester, Dennis Day, Bob Crosby and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight Jack Benny does his television show, but meanwhile we have a radio program to do. You know, almost every morning before breakfast, Jack takes a nice long walk through Beverly Hills. It's early in the morning and right now he's in the midst of his walk. Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. Ah, gee, it's nice walking this early in the morning. Nobody is up. Everything is so quiet and peaceful. Oh, he isn't that cute. That sparrow must be building a nest. He's gathering things for it. Oh, look, he's carrying a little piece of Kleenex. Wait, he's not building a nest. He's wiping his eyes. The smog is awful today. It really is bad. How about it feels good going out so early? Everything is so pretty. I like living in Beverly Hills. Gosh, look at that. I haven't seen a horse and wagon for years. I'll never forget the first time I was driving my Maxwell and we passed a horse and wagon and my car scared the horse. Come to think of it, it scared the wagon too. The driver looks kind of familiar. I know that face. Sure, it's my farmer friend from Calabasas. How are you doing here at Beverly Hills? I'm on my way back home. Oh, what'd you come to town for? Yesterday I went down to the radio studio to appear on a new quiz program. Take your door milk at it. I've been on radio. A couple of months ago, my wife told me she'd like a Bendix on the farm, so I won one and brought it home with me. I bet that made her happy. No, I brought home the wrong Bendix. She wanted William. By the way, I meant to ask you something. I've never been in Calabasas. Pretty small place, isn't it? There's a special Burmer Shave sign for the town. What does it say? If you sneeze or blink or remove your glasses, you'll miss the town of Calabasas. Well, I better run along now. See you again. Yes, I'll always call me Rube. I better get home. Oh, what a beautiful morning. What whose house this is on the corner? Oh, it's Jane Russell's. She has such a high fence around her because she takes a sun bath every day. If I had the wings of an angel. There's Phil Harris's house. Yes, a nice weather vane. He put up on his chimney. An old crow. Why didn't he use a bird instead of a bottle? Well, I'd better walk a little faster. I'm getting hungry. I said that was really a good breakfast. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Mr. Billings. I sure did. Well, if you're done eating, maybe you ought to check this list with me. I'm going shopping. What do we need from the market? Ham, goods, meat, vegetables, everything. Let me see the list. One loaf of bread, five pounds of sugar. A bottle of ketchup, a box of corn flakes. Five pounds of flour, three boxes of jello. Jello? Yes, all these years we finally ran out. Hey, wait a minute. If you came over about the commercial, where are the sportsmen? I've asked them to wait out in the car, Jack. I want to speak to you about a personal matter first. Oh, what is it? Well, Jack, I don't like to trouble you with this, but I still haven't received my salary check for last week's show. Oh, gee, well, did you talk to my business manager? No, no, I couldn't. They're having a riot up there in the warden, cut off all communication. Well, maybe I can lend you some money till things settle down on the rock. Now bring the quartet in and let me hear the commercial. Jack, won't you come out to the car? They're all packed up. They're going away. It'll save a lot of trouble. Are they leaving for some place? Yeah. Well, all right. Wait a minute, Jack. Jack, what's that? Oh, next door, the Coleman's electric fence. Every time I come out of the house, it goes on. Hey, hiya, fellas. Boys, how about letting Jack hear your commercial? Yeah. Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money. Maybe we're ragged and funny, but we'll travel along singing a song. Strikes taste better. Fair lucky strikes are so much smoother. Your finest smoke, it is true. But then when you do it on the show, maybe you can get a little more bounce into it. And then that way... Jack, that's your phone ringing. Oh, my goodness, and Rochester isn't home. Excuse me, Don. I better run in the house and answer it. So long, fellas. Television program, you're watching now. Sorry, but I'm not watching television right now. Oh, I see. Well, did you look at television last night? Yes. Yes, I did. Would you mind telling me what programs you watched? Let's see. Robert Montgomery and Burns and Allen. Would you mind telling me all about them? I don't have a set. Gracie wanted... Oh, goodbye! I heard of that guy calling up and asked me to tell him about television shows. I get the craziest phone calls. If I didn't have such a good laundry business, I'd get an unlisted number. Maybe I ought to have my name taken out of the phone book anyway. Or at least out of the yellow pages. I wonder if everybody... Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny. How are you feeling? Fine, fine. It's a nice day today, isn't it? It sure is. If it's a nice day tomorrow, will you come and visit me? Visit you? Where are you? In jail. Now, Dennis, when you do your song next Sunday... Mr. Benny, aren't you excited or anything? I may be here for 20 years. Good, good. Now, Dennis, when you do your... Gee, aren't you worried? Dennis, you've been calling me up with a lot of silly talk for so many years that I never believe one word you say. You make up the silliest, most absurd things I've ever heard. And I'd be a fool if I thought for one minute... I gotta hang up now. We're going to lunch. Wait a minute, Dennis. Those marching feet. Dennis, you mean you're really in jail? No, Mr. Benny, I was only kidding. I'm at the studio. You see, we're making a television picture about a prison riot and I'm playing the part of an escaping convict. Dennis, what's happening? Dress rehearsal. Oh, well, then I better hang up. Goodbye. Goodbye. That must be some picture he's making. Well, I got a lot of time on my hands today. I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll go out to my golf course and, eh, I already did a lot of walking this morning. I'm a little too tired to carry all those clubs. No matter how much they tip me. Can't practice my violin. It's broken. It's too early to go to bed. I think I'll go to my library and read a book. There are a lot of books here. Most of them have been bestsellers, too. Not as a stranger, as a cane mutiny. Here's one. I looked and I listened by Ben Gross. Treadmill to Oblivion by Fred Allen. This sure is a funny book. You know what the strange thing? On account of that feud we had, so many people think that Fred Allen hates and despises me. Unfortunately, Fred happens to be one of those people. You hear some books I've saved from the time I was a kid. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Tom Swift and his electric rifle. Oh, here's one that was given to me by my father. What every boy should know. I remember Papa gave it to me because he was too embarrassed to tell me about the birds and the bees. The bees go around getting honey out of the flowers. What's so embarrassing about that? Maybe I should have read the second chapter. Say, here's a book I haven't read. The Mystery of the Elephant's Graveyard. That sounds like an exciting book. I'll sit down and read this one. The Mystery of the Elephant's Graveyard. Chapter one. I decided to locate the Elephant's Graveyard. I was warned of the many dangers lurking in the heart of darkest Africa. So I took precautions. For the fierce animals, I had a powerful rifle. For the dreaded disease of malaria, I had a huge supply of quinine. And for the fierce natives who shrink human heads, I had my head sand-for-eyes. For our journey, we were hacking our way through dense when suddenly the native porter stopped and started a discontented murmur. He turned to my partner and said, What's wrong with the natives, Wilson? I don't know. I'll ask him. Uga-muga-nagila-wana-nula-angara? Nuga-nuga-mala-milala-hananawal. He says the men refuse to go any further. They're hungry. For 15 days, they've had no food or drinks. It was their own fault. I told them to join the diners' club. That's my farthest of the elephant's graveyard. Nawila-muga-lacuta-miwa-buga-bugo-narwa. Magua. He says it's a three-day journey if you go by the mountain route, but if you take the shortcut to the river, it's only two days, providing you don't run into the unfriendly pygmy tribes or crocodiles. Magua means all that? Yes, magua. Isn't there a bunabuna with it? Yes, magua. Uga-puna-lacuta-o-ga-nagalaba-wana-angara-buga-mawa-chichi-unga-makola-nula. If that means yes, I'll punch them right in the nose. He said, give me some Kleenex. This smog is killing me. He used to be a sparrow. The ladies are restless. We better get them some food and quickly, too. Okay, come on. Let's go hunt something. Come on, follow me. This looks like a good place to hunt. Careful now. This is undergrowth. Look out for those thorns. They're very long. Yeah. Ouch! Did you tear your shirt? I would have if I had a shirt on. Anyway, I don't mind. Why in the world would you take your shirt off going through this dense underbrush? Shirts cost money. Skin I can grow. Two glorious weeks in Africa. The water buffalo. He said, last you found me. Fortunately? I'm so glad. After all these days of traveling through this horrible jungle, hiding from the animals, avoiding the natives, fighting off all the dangers, now you've found me and I'm safe. Don't be too sure. Now tell me, what are you doing here in the jungle? I came to Africa on a scientific expedition with Professor Ludwig von Kraus. But his lust for power got the better of him. He has set himself up as king of a native tribe. He wanted me to be his queen, but I escaped. Nagoola Hillamawa. What's that? Major, we look for you many moons. We bring you this message. Wait a minute. I'm in the uncharted jungles of Africa. How did you ever find me? We find them your address in yellow pages. What's the message say? It's from the British Home Office in Equatorial Africa. It said, beware Professor Ludwig von Kraus. He's preparing to take over all of Africa. To the presence of the cruel, ambitious professor, he looked at us and said, I'm the king of Brazil, the inventor of atomic energy. And just this morning, I have made the great... What's that? The shame of the girl I will keep, but the rest of you I'm going to throw to the crocodile. Don't keep me. That would be a fate worse than death. Throw me to the crocodiles, too. Who is that? The crocodile. He'll be here for our line and sit on this throne here beside me. Wait a minute. Why do you want to kill all the men and just keep her? You better go home and read the second chapter. I don't make a move. I've got you covered with this gun. Look out. I didn't go through my heart. The doctors would be fatal to removal. So for all these years, this doesn't bother me normally. Everyone guesses... A fellow needs a friend. He needs a helping hand. And the hands of the big brothers have helped thousands of growing boys to find the way to a useful life. Since the first big brother movement was formed in 1904, to the many thousands of men who daily volunteer to help, I say congratulations for a job well done. If you are interested in being a big brother to some needy boy, write Big Brothers of America, Philadelphia 3, Pennsylvania. Thank you. Jack will be back in just a minute to tell you about his television program, which goes on at 7 p.m. tonight over the CBS television network. But first, the sweetheart of Lucky Strike, Miss Dorothy Collins. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste, yet it's the toasted. Cigarette, they take fine. Tobacco, it's light. Tobacco, it's mild. Tobacco too. And it's toasted, yet it's toasted. Because the toasting brings the flavor right through. So to get better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste, yet it's the toasted. Cigarette. Friends, your enjoyment of a cigarette is just as simple as that. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to taste better. Naturally, Lucky's better taste begins just where you'd expect it to begin with fine tobacco. L-S-M-F-T, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And then that tobacco is toasted. It's toasted. The famous Lucky Strike process tones up Lucky's naturally good tasting tobacco to make it taste even better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. So next time, get better taste. Get Lucky Strike. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste, yet it's the toasted. Cigarette. What are you doing, Jack? Oh, I'm calling my writers. What do you want them for? I have to do my television show tonight, and I can't live my way out of Africa. What? Angara Nuku. That means he'll see you on television, folks. Don't forget to watch it. Yeah. The show tonight was written by Milt Josephsburg, John Tackaberry, Al Goldman, Al Gordon, and produced and transcribed by Hilliard Marks. Filter smokers, true tobacco taste, real filtration, famous Tarleton quality. They're all yours when you smoke Filter Tip Tarleton. Filter Tip Tarleton gives you all the full, rich taste of Tarleton's quality tobacco and real filtration, too. Because Filter Tip Tarleton incorporates activated charcoal, renowned for its unusual powers of selective filtration. Look for the red, white, and blue stripes on the package. They identify Filter Tip Tarleton, the best in filtered smoking. The Jack Benny program is brought to you by the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes.