 The reality is as most humans are a bit self-centric in their dating practices because it's about, we as a society hyper focus on our own needs, more so than actually putting ourselves in the other person's shoes. So how do we spot the men who are commitment oriented versus the ones who are going to use you? And when I say use you, there's the perception of being used and actually being used. So a player, somebody who is habitually dating multiple women at the same time, he's using you. How do you spot that guy? He's non-committal from the very get-go.