 Hey, what's up, you guys welcome back to my channel if you're new here. Hi. Hello. I'm Lydia and if you are new here Make sure you hit the subscribe button during the growing family today I wanted to talk about the first time myself harm now I'm not gonna go over the actual first time myself itself. I mean because I was so I'm gonna go from when I was Initial self-harm that I did when I was seven was I took the metal out of the pencil and I went like that That my chest why didn't think anything of it because I thought it was normal since and it's not So it's still about when I was 14 when I was 14 I was very deep into my anorexia time in my life when I was severely underweight I passed out in a classroom. So yeah, I was deep into my anorexia at the time and I hated myself So I took a part pencil sharpener with a hair grip now that's some skill Let me tell you so when I was four I started taking apart pencil sharpeners and I used blades to cut my arm I don't know if you can see I've got a light on so you can't see what most of you know I reason that's last year. I got all my big scars covered But when I was 14 it was like I cut off my arm a headband It just wasn't a good place to be in I think that's that time a lot And I'm just like why did I do it right? Did I start yes? I was being bullied but I had some friends I don't know. I just so harmed It's it's what it is. I thought it was a normal coping skill I didn't know there was anything wrong with that Well, then there was also the secrecy element of it where I didn't want my mom to see my mom's never seen me with fresh self harm She's sitting scars because they only got covered last year speaking of tattoos I'm getting another one next week getting a little rainbow put there my first time still harm and I My first time so harm and wasn't just don't forget about so hard if you're watching this and you're debating whether to sell Harman life. It's hard to deal with like, you know It's an important thing to deal with if you can see if you're considering starting to sell harm Don't it's addictive. Thanks for watching the video and if you're new subscribe Turn notifications on and I'll see you my next upload. Peace