 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden It's time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, the fall semester is definitely upon us and our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School Has more or less settled down to her accustomed routine Yes, and like many of my fellow teachers, I'm a firm believer in the old adage early to bed only I've switched it a little I believe that early to bed early to rise makes a gal sleepy poor and bored So whenever possible I try to get some male faculty member at Madison to take me out for an evening Any male faculty member will do as long as he teaches biology in his name Philip Boynton Last Thursday at breakfast my landlady asked for a blow-by-blow Weren't you supposed to have a date with mr. Boynton last night Connie? Yes, Mrs. Davis I was supposed to but he couldn't make it but Connie. I thought that twice a week you and mr. Boynton Well, I thought that last night was your night to howl. I did howl, but I did howl, but he still wouldn't take me out Mrs. Davis, I'm competing with a new and dangerous interest. You mean mr. Boynton got another batch of guinea pigs No, he's joined the volunteer fire department and unlike the old-fashioned kind this group insists on practically the same tests as regular firemen They practice at least twice a week Well, it was nice to have almost known him But Connie, you can't give up that easily even if mr. Boynton is so interested in firefighting that he joined the volunteers There is still a way you can see him. Start a fire? Certainly not you've simply got to get interested in the same thing that interests him There's nothing like throwing yourself into a man's work. I wonder how he'd like me rare or well done I'm serious Connie, you've got to help him with this practice. What's mr. Boynton's current assignment the high ladder rescue? He gets his test in a few days. It consists of lugging a sack of meal down a ladder I've got it. This is your big chance. Surely he'd prefer you to a sack of meal As far as mr. Boynton is concerned, it's probably optional Wait a minute. There is a way I can help out. He hasn't got a house to put his ladder up against Now if I could find one for him, you're both welcome to this house Connie. That's very sweet of you, Mrs. Davis But where would you live? Oh? Story house. He's got a pretty high ladder Then how about your principal's home the conchlins have a two-story house say that's right But mr. Conklin would never let us use it. He'd be afraid the paint would be scratched or something Then use it without his knowing it wait until he goes out for the evening. But suppose he doesn't go out Connie who's coming to drive you to school this morning Walter Denton and who's Walter's girlfriend Harriet Conklin And who better than Walter would know how to get rid of mr. Conklin for an evening Hand me my hatchet and grease up the pole here goes Connie Brooks girl hot foot You Certainly take good care of this car Walter even the windows look spotless. They should I took all the glass out But you said when you first came aboard that there's something you want to ask me What is it miss Brooks? Well first of all you're still going with Harriet Conklin, aren't you? Yeah, I'm still trying to but I haven't seen much of Harriet this week old marble head mr. Conklin Made her stay home every night and worse than that. He stays home with her Well Walter, I'll come right to the point We've got to get him out of the house tonight if only for a few hours Why tonight because mr. Boyntons got to practice ladder rescue if you ask me what ladder he's gonna rescue. I'll slug you You see mr. Boyntons joined the volunteer fire department. I know so have I I've been practicing for those tests, too But your folks don't have a two-story house That's all right. I don't have a ladder either Mr. Boyntons said I could borrow his as soon as he finds a place to practice Oh good now if we can get mr. Conklin out of the house tonight we can use his place Well, frankly miss Brooks. We'd have a much better chance of getting him out of the house three days from now What happens three days from now let's one day after his 10-day free trial period on a new television set expires And it's also one day before his 10-day free trial on the next set begins He just orders sets on trial sure. Well at that rate he can keep getting free television till the whole thing blows over That's what's so tough about tonight plus which if he thought somebody wanted him to go out He'd be doubly sure to stay home. He's like a child that way, you know perverse You're right Walter Say wait a minute. That gives me an idea. Maybe we can use child psychology on him What happens when you tell a kid he must eat his spinach? Would you mind using another vegetable? Some people just naturally resent suggestion I get it if you say mr. Conklin is sick. He'll say he's well or if you insist he ought to stay home He'll want to go out. Miss Brooks. You've got something. Thanks, Walter And when you find out what it is be sure and let mr. Boynton How many times must I tell you Harriet that a principal's office is not the place to discuss personal matters But daddy I just want to know if Walter Denton can come over to our house tonight And the answer as it has been for the past two weeks is no Daddy you're frustrating me. Don't you see how deeply I care for Walter? Don't you realize that someday we're going to be married married? It's no use arguing father Mothers often told me that when she had her mind made up to marry you nothing could change it not even me But Harriet this is a school not alone some hearts club I don't want you seeing Denton and that's final now get ready for your first class. All right daddy. I'll go But remember this nothing or nobody can keep Walter and me apart indefinitely Love will find a way for us as it has for others Even if we have to elope we'll someday somehow good morning Harriet. Good morning father. Good morning Harriet. Goodbye, miss Brooks Walter Denton Miss Brooks, I'd like to put a question to you as a woman one minute. I'll get in the mood What's the question mr. Conklin what can a girl possibly see in Walter Denton? Well, that's hard to say mr. Conklin different people see different things in each one of us For instance, I'm sure that certain girls can see as much in Walter as certain men see in me Well, that's a relief What did you want to see me about miss Brooks? I just wanted to know if I could stop by your house tonight I'd like to discuss a few changes in curriculum. Well, yes, I suppose you can see me tonight Of course, it doesn't have to be tonight. I know your home practically every night. That's true That's true when I get home after a day's work. I like to stay put my grandmother was the same way While horses couldn't get her out of the house once she started nudging 70 I'm sure that my reasons for staying at home differ greatly from those of your grandmother I have my books my family and other cultural pursuits. Oh, I know Who do you like in the wrestling match tonight? Well, I think Tiger Schleppke bitch will fracture the devil man Television a great boon. Yes, it is especially to those who don't get around much anymore Miss Brooks, I don't blame people of advancing years for staying home evening After all, it's nice to be within easy reach of your favorite chair your pipe and slippers your doctor's phone number Miss Brooks the reasons I have for staying at home have nothing to do with the advancing years or ill health I can do anything today that I could do 10 years ago I could go out every night of the week if I wanted to I must admire your spirit, sir But after all I'm sure that wouldn't be necessary not as far as your wife is concerned Although and almost any woman would get just the tiniest bit envious if she heard that a young principal like Jason Brill Takes his wife dancing twice a week Jason Brill Dancing only last Friday evening. I saw him at the Silver Slipper Cafe. The Silver Slipper Did he say anything about me? Why yes come to think of it. He did I think he said how's old stick in the mud Osgood What why that? Hello, well you don't have to bite my head off dear don't hear me you old What's you darling Hello My thorough cleaning day and you will have to pick up some things for dinner tonight. All right mouth Just a second. Why should we have to do any shopping today? We're going out to dinner. What did you say dear? I said we're going out to dinner Osgood. I think we have a bad connection What's bad about it I can hear you perfectly I know dear but for a moment there I thought you said we were going out to dinner. That's exactly what I did say to be celebrating our anniversary isn't until June Martha Martha we're going out to dinner and then we're going to the Silver Slipper to dance. I'll see you later. Goodbye Too old to go dancing. Am I miss Brooks? What was it Jason Brill called me again? I can't be sure, but I think it was let's live a little Osgood Starring Eve Arden will continue in just a moment, but first here is Vern Smith readers digest reports the results of one of the Most extensive experiments in dentifers history Yes readers digest reports the very same research which proves brushing teeth right after eating with Colgate Nettle cream stops Tooth decay best and here are additional important facts over a two-year period the Colgate way Stopped more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentifers history Yes, the Colgate way of brushing teeth right after eating stop tooth decay best Better than any other home method of oral hygiene even more important There were no new cavities whatever for more than one out of three who used Colgate's as directed No other dentifers amniated or not has proof of such results The best results ever reported for a dentifers of any type and you should know that Colgate dental cream While not mentioned by name was the only toothpaste used in the research reported in July readers digest Yes, Colgate dental cream and only Colgate dental cream was used in this research So always use Colgate's to clean your breath while you clean your teeth And when you follow the Colgate way Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Lunch period and I arrived at the school cafeteria at the same time and by an unusual daily Coincidence I found myself sitting opposite Mr. Boynton. I was so pleased at the way I'd secured a place for him to practice for his firefighting test that I could hardly wait to tell him about it. So I didn't Mr. Boynton, I found a place for you to practice your ladder rescue my ladder rescue. That's wonderful, Miss Brooks But I didn't know you were so interested in the VFL VFL volunteer fire laddies Mr. Boynton, I think putting out fires is wonderful so much better than just letting them go on But aren't you going to ask me who's home? We're honoring with your ladder tonight. Oh, yes, who's the conchlins the conchlins But Miss Brooks, you know how Mr. Conchlin stands on extracurricular activities Even though I feel it's my civic duty to participate, Mr. Conchlin would never Mr. Conchlin isn't going to know about it He and Mrs. Conchlin are going out for the evening. You see, Mr. Boynton, I'd like to assist you tonight What can you do miss Brooks? Well, there's no law that says you have to carry a sack of meal down the ladder is there Certainly not. I could carry a sack of flour Sack of potatoes or an old mattress or a barrel. You're getting warmer Mr. Boynton, I know how important this test is to you and I want to help you. Oh, that's all right, Miss Brooks I can carry the sack down by myself This boy isn't paying attention Mr. Boynton what I had in mind was something more practical for you to rehearse with Like what? Like me You would carry me down the ladder. After all I don't weigh any more than a sack of meal Well, that's true and both your general shapes are about to- I'm sure it would work out fine, Mr. Boynton Well, I don't know. It's pretty risky. After all, there's a big difference between having a sack of meal over my shoulder and having you over my shoulder I can't tell you exactly what it is, but I know there's a difference If as and when you find out what that difference is, you're going to be one surprised fire landing Certainly nice of Harriet Conklin to let me use her room for this ladder practice But I hope her folks don't come home. Oh, they won't. Mr. Conklin swooping it up tonight. Probably painting the town gray Besides Walter Denton will be practicing with us. And we are well chaperoned. Thank goodness If you're going to pass your test, Mr. Boynton, we'd better start Uh-oh looks pretty far down to the ground from here. Oh, it's only two stories and I'll be very careful how I hold you That's for sure Now we'll use the fireman's carry first put both your arms over my left shoulder No, no, no, let's see put your left arm over my right shoulder while I put my right arm under your left one And place my left leg on the second rung of the ladder Now your right leg goes to the right of mine over the window sill and I Miss Brooks. Yes, mr. Boynton. Did you notice what happened to my left arm? It's right here, mr. Boynton But I think there's something slightly wrong with the directions you've been giving me why I'm carrying you I should know that fireman's carry by now. All I have to do is get you over my right shoulder. Here we go Oh come now Right miss Brooks. Perfect mr. Boynton. You've got a very soft shoulder Now now hang on tight. It's more important that you hang on tight Here we go Hey pretty creaky ladder. Oh, I thought it was me Just a few more rungs now we'll set you right down on good old terra firma there Thank you for a very pleasant trip Good for you. Mr. Boynton. That was a perfect carry. Don't you think so miss Brooks? I'd do it again in a minute. So would I so long walter Just a second. I've got to climb up to Harriet's room and practice getting some more valuables down to safety Where is Harriet walter? Well when mr. Boynton and I take our test, they're going to simulate actual fire conditions So Harriet went to borrow a smudge pot A smudge pot. Where are you going to take this test in an orange grog? Oh, that's just to make a lot of smoke. So we get the feeling that we're really saving somebody. Oh, well I'll see you in a few minutes folks. Don't carry too much down this trip walter. You've got the driveway loaded with bric-a-brac now Okay Well miss Brooks, it's it's quite a nice evening, isn't it? Yes, it is Especially for this kind of work If you don't mind a third opinion, I think it's a perfect night for this kind of work Why it's a policeman. Hello officer. Yes. Hello officer I suppose you'd like an explanation as to what we're doing here. It take your time. I've already made a wild guess What do you mean the evidence is all around you now, let's not waste each other's time Where's the getaway car getaway car? Oh officer, you don't think we're common ordinary thieves. Do you on the contrary? I think you're extraordinary You know, it isn't everyone who'd put a ladder up in a driveway right off the street at nine o'clock at night But obviously you don't understand. I'm a teacher at Madison High School. I'm a teacher at Madison High too Hovered he is no excuse Do you know whose home this is you've been looting but officer, we haven't been looting Confederate with a lamp that a vase under his arm that happens to be walter dentin and he's a student of ours He's learned his lessons well Here, let me give you a hand son. Thanks very much. Oh, that was a cinch. I just Oops, it's the law What are you acting so guilty about water? Yes, walter. Whatever you do. Don't act guilty. Of course not just brazen it out Oh, what am I saying? Now come along with me all of you. I'm taking you down to the station But officer, you've got to listen you good evening officer. Hi folks. Look what I got another one Where have you been working the other side of the house? Straighten him out harry. He thinks we're a bunch of crooks crooks, but I live here officer I'm harry at conklin and and these are my friends. I just went down the block to borrow this smudge pot smudge pot And what are you going to do with that? I'm going to put it in my bedroom That doesn't answer your question. You're a disgrace to your uniform Mr. Boynton here and my boyfriend walter have joined the volunteer fire department And they're just practicing for their ladder test. The smudge pot is just to make it seem more realistic Well, look here's my key ring with my name and address and the key to the front door Doesn't that convince you that I live here? Well, I could have been mistaken. I guess I beg your pardon folks Oh, that's okay officer. Anybody can make a mistake. Good night officer. Not so fast I suggest that you be a little more careful about who you go around calling crooks. What? You heard me And if it happens again, I'll have you back pounding a beat But I am pounding a beat And I'll see that you get a dirty bed Well, Martha. We're almost home. I only hope we're in time But awes good driving home in the middle of the evening like this I think your suspicions are fantastic Just because we find out the silver slippers been closed for a month Why should you get the wild idea that walter and harriet are eloping? It came to me in a flash Only this morning harriet threatened to run away with that lame brain dunce Then miss brooks came to my office with that cock and bull story about seeing jason brill at the silver slipper last week But this brooks instigated the whole plot to get me out of the house tonight But awes good, that's absurd. You might just as well say that that miss brooks was going to elope with walter Believe me. They deserve each other Well here we are Look what there's a ladder up against harriet's window. They're climbing down right now. Come on Stand right where you are mr. Conklin. What are you doing home so early? Never mind that What are you two up to watch out down there? Why that's mr. Boynton coming down the ladder? But what's that? He's got over his shoulder Looks like a sack of meal to me I think it is. I might as well be Mr. Conklin, you're home. Yes. I'm home. I'm not a minute too soon from the looks of things Now there's no reason to get excited. Mr. Conklin. We'd have told you all about it sooner or later Now that's extremely decent How could you do this walter? Why not? He's had plenty of practice We know why dentin's here, but you boynton. How did you get into this? He just answered a call for volunteers Volunteers Well sure and it was the same thing with walter. Yeah, it looks a lot more dangerous than it is After all it isn't like I haven't tried it before You've tried it before many times, but you're so young. You're never too young to start Boynton you amaze me And so do you miss brokes. I know you're extremely fond of mr. Boynton But just what did you mean by that remark about volunteers? Well, it's fairly obvious I just meant that mr. Boynton will only be called upon in an emergency An emergency certainly supposing the regular department is busy somebody's got to put out the fire And a bit of this what are these things doing in the driveway? It isn't enough that you were all going to elope You were taking my furniture along to set up housekeeping We weren't eloping mr. Boynton and I were just practicing for our volunteer fireman's test a likely story What does the fire department need volunteers for there aren't enough fires in this town to keep a seltzer bottle busy Oh ever hurts to be prepared of course not now take that smoke that's coming from Harriet's window for instance smoke Mother it's smoke our house is on fire Please daddy don't get so excited Quiet Harriet a man's got a right to get excited when his house is on fire Fortunately, mr. Boynton is here to put it right out, but that smoke's being caused by never mind the cause. You're the cure Up you go mr. Boynton. We'll show mr. Conklin how lucky he is that we happen to be in the vicinity tonight Oh, I get it. Here I go folks. I'll put out that blaze. Don't you think we should call the regular department? Oh no not with chief Boynton on the job go to a chief. I'm right behind you chief Miss Brooks. Why are you climbing the ladder because mr. Boynton only knows one way to get down It turns in just a moment, but first Beautiful luster cream girl Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-dumans magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff listening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo dream girl dream girl Beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to a luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well, mr. Conklin was so relieved when his house didn't burn down that he let mr. Boynton, Walter and myself go scot-free It was still early So I suggested after we dropped Walter off that mr. Boynton could get a little more experience by climbing up to the roof of mrs. Davis's house Much to my surprise. He agreed. No about this fireman's carry miss Brooks. Let me help mr. Boynton First I put my right arm over your left shoulder then my left arm around your right shoulder Now I join my hands behind your neck now hold me tight mr. Boynton tighter Little tighter, please There that's fine Yes, that does seem about right But miss Brooks, where's the ladder ladder? Don't be silly. I kicked that away long ago Our miss Brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al lewis with music by wilbur hatch Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovely a complexion in 14 days Yes, 36 leading skin specialists proved in tests on 1285 different women that palm olive soap facials using nothing But palm olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three Just wash your face three times daily with palm olive soap each time for 60 seconds Massaging palm olive's beauty lather onto your skin then rinse and pat dry So start your palm olive facials today. Remember doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovely a complexion in 14 days Be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks bobleman speaking