 I think for many of us, we've actually discarded some of our more masculine oriented traits and qualities into our shadow. We've disconnected from them. Maybe you grew up in a household with a single mom who had been hurt by your father and she was constantly saying, don't be like your father or anger makes a dangerous man or whatever the case may be. And so you disconnected from your own sense of assertiveness or you disconnected from your own sense of discipline. And there's many different examples that can look like, but I think that many of us need to explore what's in the sort of, I call it the hurt locker sometimes, what's in the hurt locker of my own mind and my own heart. Did I grow up being told that I just need to be vulnerable and emotional? And so I'm always that and I'm disconnected from a sense of anger that allows me to maybe set a boundary and say no and say, I won't tolerate that in a relationship. That's not okay. Or to set a boundary with ourselves and say, I'm not going to speak like that or act like that or make that decision. And so we have to be able to explore this other part of us that we often don't want to look at. And just to tie this back in, I think that's why many of us create these rock bottom moments where we sabotage a relationship, we sabotage a career. We sabotage a work meeting because we stay up late drinking or watching porn until three o'clock in the morning or whatever the hell we do. We sabotage because we want to pull ourselves in the direction of understanding our shadow, understanding our hurt. There's a great quote by a guy named Francis Weller who said, your pain has its own intelligence. And so that shadow within us, that pain within us, if we don't become familiar with it, it will start to run our lives. Like the first line of my book is a man's work begins in pain, right? A man's work begins in pain. Why? Because if you don't know your pain, it's going to fuck your life. You know, it's going to cause you to sabotage. You're going to feel insecure in relationships. You're going to sabotage your sex life with your girl. You're going to start to act needy. Why? Because there's a part of you that's hurting. And if you can't tend to it, you're going to try and get her to do it for you. Right? A classic example of this, it's like, why, why do we become needy? Why do we become insecure in relationships? Why do we try and seek validation? I was, I was like the captain of this. You know, I was like captain's validation seeking. You know, if there was a cape for it, I would have had it. But I did that because I felt like I lacked a sense of worth. And I didn't validate myself, right? I had never developed any internal sense of self validation. And so compassion was in the shadow, you know, my pain was in the shadow. And so I needed women to give me validation because I wouldn't do it for myself. So I think that there's a worthy endeavor and starting to go down that path a little bit because maybe your discipline is in there, you know, or maybe there's something within your shadow that's causing you to not be disciplined, you know, to constantly sabotage yourself and reinforce a story. And the last thing I'll say is like, I see a lot of men who are trying to impress someone, you know, their dad, their mom, you know, some form of parent or a partner or whomever. And they're they're doing that because they want some form of reassurance that they are valuable because they haven't developed the internal sense of recognizing where their value is, you know, and that they've put the hard work and the effort into it. And maybe they lack the male friendships to say, dude, good job, you know, phenomenal work.