 looks like I've made a new friend unfortunately I don't have any cat food with me right now all I've got is my love and my energy hope that's enough oh it looks like he's hurt his little paw there but other than that he looks pretty healthy well it may be a girl I don't know D-man says gatekeepers of the underworld you know I always felt like there was something spiritual about cats I don't know what it is the very intuitive creatures yes in this one we are going to be talking about how you know that you have hurt the narcissist because a lot of times let's just keep it real you won't always know if you have hurt the narcissist because narcissists typically are not the type of people we're going to come out and admit that they have been hurt especially the covert narcissist they're not just going to come out and tell you and also even overt narcissists they're not going to come out as well because they're so heavily focused on their image and they don't want to be embarrassed or humiliated in front of their enablers or flying monkeys so you know a lot of times you want to actually even know remember narcissists they are hypersensitive and you'll find that you're always walking on their eggshells when you're around them you're extremely cautious about your words and actions because you've learned that anything could set them off and it's kind of funny because i'm sure as a lot of you have experienced when you're constantly walking on eggshells around someone sometimes you just blurt out the worst things imaginable and then you know they're already looking for it they're just waiting for you to say something wrong and then it's like yes i got you so yeah that's typically how it goes with narcissists you have to be very careful the problem is even when you're being careful i kind of sets you up for failure with them as well it kind of causes you to say or do the wrong thing it's like if someone tells you not to push a button and it's like constantly on your mind you know you shouldn't push it it's like you just can't resist there's something inside of you is just telling you to say something or do something so yeah i completely understand that i i know that a lot of you may have experienced that already but you don't always know that you've hurt them unless you know how to recognize the signs because typically a lot of you are watching this right now you are empaths and you tend to take things on as your own you tend to assume that it's something to do with you something is wrong with you and you need to be better that's typically our empaths think we're not like looking around trying to blame other people or to point out their mistakes if there is something wrong in a situation we just assume okay we need to be better forget about everyone else we need to be perfect that's just how empaths or people please us think but actually you know a lot of the things they do to give it really has nothing to do with you at all it is all them and perfect example is when they devalue you when they insult you they put you down they call you names they make you feel like something is wrong with you you're not good enough and typically when this happens we're not looking back at everything we've done for this person they managed to get us to focus right in the moment where it's like forget about everything else what can we do right now to make things better and you could have given them your entire life and they just expect you to forget all about that and just focus on the present moment what more can you do right now and they do that by devaluing you making you feel small and if you don't fall for that then they've got another trick up their sleeve they'll just discard you and I know that's a horrible thing to go through as well but you're emotionally attached to this person they've shown you the false character you make they made you believe that they're really about something they love you they care about you and then they just pull away all of a sudden course of hurts makes you want to get them back because you assume you must have done something wrong to cause that are same paths codependence people please us we don't typically go around pointing the finger at other people blaming them for things we assume that it's something to do with us and we try to be better we try to be perfect but by doing that that does not solve the problem it just makes the problem even worse it just makes it even worse they'll become even more hurts they'll become envious and jealous and very competitive and they will go out of their way to try to tear you down when an narcissist feels hurt they will try to hurt you when they feel envious or jealous they will try to make you envious or jealous when they feel bad about something they will try to make you feel bad about something the problem is as I said a lot of us are empaths here we won't even see it coming we won't even recognize it and the reason why is because we've been trained from a very young age that other people they don't make mistakes they don't do things wrong if something is wrong it's us and we have to do something about it we've been trained this way from a very young age by a narcissistic parent or caretaker and yes as we grow older other narcissists they do notice this and they seek us out only to take advantage of these beautiful qualities where we are actually very caring loving empathetic people who just want to make other people happy that's all we're really trying to do but narcissists they are just trying to make themselves happy at other people's expense so they come around us and they see the way that we're thinking that if the situation is wrong it must be us and we just have to be better and they play on that they tell us we're no good we need to do more so we try to be better we try to do more until they finally get tired of us and then that is when they discard us then they want to get rid of us and find to what else to do the same thing all over again the truth is you will never be good enough for a narcissist as long as you're around them they're always going to trick you into thinking that something is wrong with something is wrong with you you've done something wrong you need to be better you need to be more no matter what it's always going to be like that because that is why they try to do in the first place that is why they seek you out they did not seek you out to make you better to make you happy they don't care about you at all which is why whenever you're around them you will be left feeling miserable they will drain you they will pull you down you're just not going to be happy around them looks like this cat as a friend they're running off to play together but yes that's just how it is with these narcissists but it's really sad when you think about it when you look back and really analyze the situation just the the dynamic all together the way that you were just this innocent naive person all you wanted is to love and be loved and to build something meaningful with someone but they weren't looking at it like that they were looking at you like what can i get out of this person how can i use them how can i exploit them how can i get the better of them how can i tear them down that's what they were thinking when they were looking at you they weren't thinking anything good about you they weren't thinking how can i make this person better happier how can i build something with this person a lot of us we assume that's what they're thinking because that's what we're thinking because we've been trained from day one to be that way to want more but you're never gonna have that with these narcissists that you've been dealing with it's never going to be like that for you and i'm not saying this to hurt you i'm saying it so that you understand because i know a lot of you you keep going back and you need to stop you can't keep going back to them they're just going to keep hurting you they're just going to keep hurting you and they're never going to try to understand you because they don't care they don't care about what you're thinking what you're feeling only if they can use it against you use it to hurt you they're not trying to build anything and i know a lot of you you may be watching this you're thinking what if it's me because you may have been led to believe that it was you that you were the one who wasn't good enough for them and i know i get that i've been through that myself before i know what that's like most of my life i blamed myself for the consequences of everyone else's actions i assumed that it had something to do with me i never looked at anyone else and thought that they could be at fault until i had a certain point in my life i began to woke up to wake up when i was maybe 24 25 26 started to catch on and realize that wait a minute maybe everything in this life is not my fault at the moment that i had this epiphany and came to this conclusion that is the moment when the abuse became more widespread and i became a victim a target of a smear campaign which was very covert it was done behind my back and i'm telling you this as well because typically that is what will happen if you try to call them out remember they live in a false reality and they don't want to come into the real world so even if at some point in life you wake up you have this epiphany you realize that not everything that happened to you was your fault and not everything that happened to everyone else was your fault as well even if at some point in your life you come to this conclusion you have this epiphany and you're thinking great now we can solve all of these problems now we we can become better together everything can finally change now we can finally be happy together no you can't it's never going to work that way it doesn't matter what epiphany you have in your head it doesn't matter no matter how true it may be it's not going to make a difference because they are locked into this false reality they've got so many skeletons in the closet they can't just come out and say okay yes i'm accountable for all of these things that happened to you and that happened to myself and now let's change let's grow let's make things better no that is never going to happen it's never going to work out like that that may be what you want but it's just not going to work out that way it can get better for you though you can improve things in your life but it has to be outside of them they're not going to grow with you i've said it before that is never going to happen because you've already heard them for a start you've already said or done things that they didn't like even though you may have not known it at the time it may not have been that important to you but it was very important to them they were very tuned into that so they're not going to let that go if you are really dealing with a real narcissist they're never going to forgive you they're going to continue to hold a grudge against you for the rest of your life and i can promise you no matter what they say no matter what they do that's never going to change once you've caused that narcissistic injury that is it for life it never goes away they're not just going to give you another chance they're not just going to come back to you and treat you right because it's always going to be there in the back of their minds they don't know how to process it they don't know how to heal it they don't want to take accountability which is why that will never happen once you've heard them that is it there's no going back there's no going back for them for you yes you can move on and become better but you have to leave them behind they can't go with you no matter how much you may want them to because that's really the sad thing about it is that despite everything that they've done to you they abused you they manipulated you they deceived you they lied to you maybe they cheated on you they stole from you despite all of these things that they did i'm sure many of you if they could just be normal and you could see it in their eyes they're different now things can change you would forget everything they ever did to you you wouldn't hold a grudge you would give them another chance and you would do everything in your power to be better for them to be perfect for them i know a lot of you would do that and despite that you're never going to get that opportunity it's never going to happen they will crucify you as long as you're around them you will just have to sacrifice your life for them that is the only way that it can ever be it's never going to be any different might not be what you want to hear but this is just how it is this is just the reality i know what it's like when you've loved someone you've had this relationship with this person and you've invested everything you had into them your life your energy your money your resources everything you did already sacrifice your entire life for them but it wasn't good enough and it will never be good enough it might be good enough for someone else in fact i'm sure it will be good enough for someone else but it will never be good enough for them they've got so much trauma so many unprocessed emotions they just don't know where to begin it's too overwhelming for them to deal with so you've just got to give up on that i had to do it i did it a long time ago many years ago i decided i knew this was it i knew there was no going back i knew that i was gonna have to go on alone and yeah it's the saddest thing when you have to leave them behind because a lot of them you know they're like children and adult bodies maybe some of them they don't fully know what they're doing they don't fully understand and that might make you feel bad for them but you've got to look at it like it's not your fault it's not your duty or responsibility you're responsible for yourself and this person is putting you in danger whenever you're around them you're at risk of harm because they're causing serious damage to you and you've got to recognize value appreciate and respect this body and mind the soul that god has given you god gave you that as a gift your body is your temple and you must respect it you must look after it otherwise you're harming something that god has created for you so at the end of a yes it is your responsibility to walk away you can't keep putting yourself in a position where you know but they are going to continue to harm you you may have had this epiphany and while i may understand that they're not going to have that they may have a false epiphany but they're never truly going to understand it it's never fully going to make sense to them the reasons why it is wrong for them to do the things that they do to you they're never going to fully understand that they will always find a way to justify it every abuser has an excuse so there's just no getting through to them they're never going to understand and you don't need to make them understand you don't need to try to punish them or get revenge you don't need to do any of that leave it in gods hands gods will take care of it they will get their karma they will get what is due to them i can promise you that it will happen and while you may feel bad for them you have to recognize that they brought this on themselves their actions they had many opportunities to change many of them they had hundreds of opportunities thousands of opportunities to change and be better you i don't know how many opportunities you had to change i'm sure i can count them on one hand if that maybe one or two they didn't give you many choices you were made to think that everything was your fault you were made to believe that you could never be good enough for them no matter what you do and this is how you know that you have heard the narcissist because that is what happens by that point is that it's too little too late it's too little too late they wanted they expected more from you a long time ago they expected you to be something else something more and you weren't that at that time that they wanted you to be that if you were then maybe it would have been okay but even then eventually it would have been something else they always moved the goalposts but it was something at that time you weren't what they needed you to be and they felt disappointed they felt like you let them down that caused an injury for them it affected them it got to them it bothered them and now it's like maybe a few months few years have gone by it doesn't matter who you are what you become now it's too late they think of it in their minds like you should have been this back then you should have already known this back then you should have already figured it out before we had to tell you this is how narcissists think you're supposed to figure things out on your own they're not supposed to tell you what's on their minds or what they want from you you should already know it's how they think you should already know what they want from you what they want you to be you should be able to read their minds and if you can't do that then that's your fault and you deserve everything that's coming to you that's just how they think that's just how they think and there's really nothing you can do to change that doesn't matter who or what you become now you could be the most perfect person walking the earth it is too late they look at it like you should have been that a long time ago you should have been that five ten five ten years ago there's no point in you being this now it's too little too late they've already been hurt they've already been injured they've already gotten mad they've already done all of these things to give them retaliation and now they've got so many skeletons in the closet what are they supposed to do now what are they supposed to do now it's too late yes they may see you now they may recognize that you've made some changes things getting better for you you're moving on with your life but it's just no good because you weren't exactly who and what i needed you to be at the exact time and moment that i needed it that's how they think it's exactly how they think because remember we are talking about narcissists here people who are self-absorbed and lack empathy people who only care about themselves there's no empathy there doesn't matter what you're going through doesn't matter that they were never there for you they never told you anything they never told you who they wanted you to be that does not matter you were supposed to know you were supposed to know and if you don't know it's your fault if you don't know what they want exactly when they want it that is your fault that's how the narcissist thinks of course that's not how i'm thinking that's not how i'm thinking at all i understand that we're not perfect we are human beings we learn and we grow we learn and we grow change does not happen overnight it is a process we make mistakes and then we learn from it a narcissist they seem to understand that when it comes to them because they make a lot of mistakes and they don't even learn from their mistakes just look at everything they did to you did they learn from any of that or did they continue to repeat those same mistakes again and again hundreds of times thousands of times but when it comes to you the target the victim the supply you can just make one mistake and it's all over for you there is no going back after that because while you may be able to process things you may be forgiven you may be able to let things go instead of holding grudges you may be merciful rather than ruthless narcissist they are not like that they are like the devil you do one thing wrong and they will come down on your ass like a ton of bricks they will they will only seek to destroy you after that and 100 percent if there's one thing that i am sure of i can guarantee i can promise you a million percent there is no going back and there's no going back because i may be stating the obvious but once you've done something wrong you do one thing wrong they will go out and do a hundred thing wrong a thousand things wrong to you that's how you know there's no going back because if they had any intention of having a future with you you really think they would have done any of that they went out to destroy you to completely annihilate you like a lot of times it was like they couldn't care less if you were dead that's how you know that once you've done whatever you've done just one thing wrong you might even know what it is a lot of times with narcissists just the one thing wrong that's it for you after that it's game over they discarded you you may never see them again they'll never talk to you again they'll never give you another chance they'll never cure you out or if they've targeted you force flying monkeys started a smear campaign that's it it's done that's not a temporary thing that is indefinite or at least until you die and i know this sounds completely insane i mean of course coming from a rational mind but this is reality and if you're not going through it right now you will be going from it it's just a matter of time which is why what do you do you just don't get involved with them as soon as you know that you're dealing with a narcissist you've got to cut them off and you've got to do it quietly don't let them know that you're on to them don't confront them don't point out anything that they've done wrong don't try to change the situation don't try to make things better just walk out just leave quietly don't let them think that there's anything wrong with them because if they think that they've made a mistake that you're trying to call them out you're trying to expose them it's all over for you after that there is no going back they they just can't process the traumas they can't process the emotions they can't let it go they have these underdeveloped minds they never learned how to do that and they're not going to learn how to do that now it's too late for them it's too late for you and it's too late for them so the only thing that you can do is trying to part ways try to move on with your life the best that you can i'm not saying that they're just going to leave you alone but you have a duty you have a responsibility as well well you have to try your best to move on and just become the best person that you can be try not to react too much to what they're doing because remember you are still accountable for what you do as long as you're in a sane rational mind yes you are still accountable for what you do so continue to spread the love positivity good vibes despite what may be going on around you it doesn't matter you have to keep doing you you cannot let other people bring you down don't let them change your character don't let them change who you are as a person because once they've done that they've won they've defeated you and i can't even say where you will end up if you've done that i mean okay yes we all have little slip-ups from time to time you make mistakes that's understandable but don't let it be something that happens persistently but you are just not even yourself anymore don't let that happen to you because if it does you will suffer the consequences of your actions as well you will and there's just no way around that you still must take responsibility for where you find yourself in life and put your best foot forward do what you can they may not always be perfect but you just got to do the best you can you just got to do the best you can as you can see yes i am out at this stunning lake this evening i've been here a few times done a few videos here already i think this is only the second video i've done here at night the first one was earlier this year i've been to a lot of lakes but there's just something about this one i really like it's so peaceful at night you could see everyone else is very busy off into the distance maybe they're coming home from work maybe they're going out for something to eat they're just riding off into the night all right that's it for this video 126 live viewers if this video was helpful for you please give it a thumbs up down below share the video let me know your thoughts in the comments and i will talk to you in another video very soon