 My name is Jimmy, his name is Jake, and this is the Weekly Dumb Jake. How are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while. Lie. James, Zack, Sam, Chris, everyone watching. If your name's Chris, leave a comment. Uh, I'm doing alright, man. Big weekend baseball. Yanks had some fun playoffs, they're so close a week away dog, and you and I are traffic monsters. I had to take a double uber because the traffic was so bad and one uber driver quit on me. And you quit on yourself. I've been in a lot of traffic lately, man, and I'm getting, uh, I don't like it. I don't like it. I sat in two hours of traffic on the way to the office yesterday, uh, hour home, and then I just, it just took me two hours to get in. Usually takes 40 minutes. And North Jersey drivers are the worst. Yo, people are f***ed. It's a beep first state and it's stupid. That should be a song. How's that not a rap song? People are f***ed. People beep all the time and this is what I do. I just say, honk at me. You're f***ed. What do you want? Can you bleep my f***s? Except that one. So they know what the bleeps were in hindsight. Jim, speaking of not caring about that, but being trapped like traffic, Ohio football referees are trapped in a locker room with the door blocked by a vending machine. They're trapped for three weeks. I don't even know how long it was, but I love this story. High school football, I don't know what state it was in. Ohio. Ohio. First word of the art. First. Let it be noted that it's the first word in the article is Ohio football referees. It's high school. OH. Supposedly the assistant coach chased them off the field because he was so mad at a call. And then they went into the referee room to discuss it. Seven refs. And then they tried to get out and a vending machine had magically been pushed in front of the door and they were trapped. You think it was magic? I don't know, but it was definitely not magic. It was like more than one human. That's what cracks me up. It was like the assistant coach and two meet head linemen on the high school team were like, let's trap the refs. But you know what? Every town has their good refs and that deserves a shout out. Like everyone's got their, you know, the kid in the grade below them, whose dad refs like every game they played. And you're like, damn, dude, like, thank you. Holy Family Catholic in H.F.C. Holy Family Catholic, the Crusaders pretty fucked up. H.F.C.C. Crusaders is such a messed up nickname. Like if people think like the Native American ones are bad, like Crusaders literally just murderers across. There was a referee that refereed fourth and fifth grade basketball. He wore a toupee and he carried Jolly Ranchers in his pocket. And as he ran up and down the court, he threw Jolly Ranchers to like the little siblings. I think he ended up actually stealing money from like youth and got in a lot of trouble. I got to call my dad about that. But yeah, he was a known ref in town and it's like, Call your dad. Hey, Jim. Dad, I have a really quick question for you. Yes. Remember to pay Jolly Rancher ref? Yes. Was he the one that was stealing money from the league? Yes. OK, thought, thought so. Jake Storielli. All right, thank you. Well, bleep the name. Bleep the name. But yeah, true story. Two page Jolly Rancher ref stealing money from the Catholic fourth and fifth grade basketball league. Next up, almost a breakdown. And this might actually be a breakdown, but I figure we got to talk about it. Joe West gets Sunday Night Baseball again. MLB just puts I think they flexed the umpires. What's an umpire show? It's an official show. I think they flexed the umpire. So Joe West crew would have Sunday Night Baseball. I believe I heard that. And then he got not you got to believe in it. He got Sunday Night Baseball and he left his mark like he always does. This call is very hard. Judge foul tips the ball, goes into Vesca's glove. He catches it, tries to put in his hand, drops it in live time. If you're Joe West, you don't have a good view of that. But also if you're Joe West, you just want drama. Like he's in it for the drama. We had it all, man. I mean, the fire alarms were going off. There was some missed ball strike calls both ways. And man, I think Joe West hasn't figured out. And you know, some people don't know when we're being sufficious or whatever we're doing. Joe West gets it, man. He gets it. I think he makes calls that add to the drama. A really good umpire goes unnoticed. Joe West always goes noticed he's going to be a Hall of Famer. Like kind of credit to Joe West. He's kind of beat the system. And then judge the next pitch. We're going to skeet shoot this can of dips can. I mean, y'all pull, you're going to throw it up out the sky. I'm just going to eat some. Okay. You're going to eat some. Yeah. No nicotine, no tobacco, just CBD. I do think this is a tough call because you can't review it. It is a missed call and the Yankees took advantage of it. But there was a lot of weird stuff. Ready? You got it. Did I just hit Zach? You just blasted Zach, dog. No, can just Zach. You just chowed up Zach. Man. Hey, go. Zach, can you splice in the Instagram video of you on stage? Wow. Zach's a fucking rock star. Look at this. Watch this. Look at Zach is a rock star. He's a bad ass. Say we all just want to be big rock stars. I'd be a good southern chump, dude. Chump. Yeah. Like I was a guy in the movie that they're just like, I got a chump. He from the south. I don't know. Movie takes place in Maine, bro. I'm talking like that. Oh, man. I never been off the docks like what? You're on the docks. Yeah. That's obvious. What else happened in the sports? Do you have more sports? Wade Bogg statues officially off limits at Tropicana Fetal. Due to the incident yesterday where a child got his head stuck in it. Been there. Giff passing. Yeah, I like this because how has this not happened? If you're a little kid and you take a picture with this statue, you're going to put your head there. If you're a kid, you're going to put your head anywhere. Right. Through a railing. That's like a game you play like every friend's house. Can my head fit through this railing when you're little enough? Now the Wade Bogg statue is off limits to any other future kid that wants to stick his head in there. I think that's so bad. Oh, there's definitely a group of kids that are like, think we put our heads in there at the right time. Yeah. Zach, can I set you up for the funniest thing that's ever been on the show? Wade Boggs, Wade Boggs, Wade Boggs, Wade Froggs, Froghead. That's fucking funny, man. On the dock. The ripper of a joke. Ripper on the dock. I think your nickname would be Ripper. Yeah. How sad is this? The whole Tropicana stuff. All of it. Put very serious music. They should be like respected as one of the best franchises in sports and said they're like a joke. Imagine treating yourself like that. Put very serious music over this, Zach. They won't let them build a new stadium in Tampa because they want to they want Tampa to pay for it. And the owner says, I don't want to pay for it. I want you guys to pay for it. And they're like, we're going to have to pay a little bit for it. And they're like, no, we don't want it because we can't get into the fans will come because no one comes to the trap because it's hard to get there and a piece of shit. Why would you spend five hours in traffic to go watch baseball and a piece of shit? So what they're doing is they're splitting the season in Montreal. And what this opens up is they're going to say, oh, yeah, we're doing not fully leaving you. We're still going to have some games in town, but we're going to have half our games in Montreal. Meanwhile, Montreal is going to be electric atmosphere. Probably going to sell out. We're going to be excited to have baseball back in there. And then we're leaving now. And it's like, we know what you're doing. Like just break up with someone. Don't start dating other people openly. Like keep a secret for a little and then break up with them. We're just break up with them. Yeah, I won't use any of that, Zach. Sucks for the people of Tampa. But things aren't all bad, Jim. And that's why we always end with a good segment on not sports. Grizzly Bear found dead in Canada was killed by a goat. I need a picture of the grizzly bear. They say that they found a dead grizzly bear and they're trying to figure out the suspect and that the stab wounds are of that. That's where this takes a real twist. It's you think it's some mountain man with goat horns as weapons. Yeah, that's where this story gets funny. Officials weren't sure what had killed the grizzly, which appeared to be stabbed in the neck and armpit, which when you read that sentence, there's only one animal that stabs and that's humans, but an animal autopsy revealed a surprising culprit. The size and shape of mountain goat horns. Is that still a stabbing? They stabbed him with it. Yeah, I'm picturing a hermit in the woods that has killed a mountain goat and has now fastened weapons out of his mountain goat. He's sleeping. The mountain goat killer, the mountain goat killer. Yep, because one, he kills mountain goats. Two, he then uses the horns of the mountain. He has sex with mountain goats. Yes, for sure. And then he takes the horns off and those are now his weapons. I got so much CBD running through my veins now. Run through a wall. Do it. And he did it. None of you can say he didn't. Jake just ran through that wall. That's something Ripper would do. Yeah, dude, you've been Ripper this whole show. It would bring us to the employer the week is the employer the week is a guy who got attacked by my dog in a friendly way. It was Kyle. That's not what I have. What do you have? I have it goes to Chi Mac. Chi Mac, my dog Mac. Well, we'll get Zach this video. My dog Mac, Wheatons are known to be a bit stubborn. One track mind. All he wanted to do was be all over Kyle. And it was wild. So they're best friends. And I think they like, I think they they have both thought about each other since they left. So Kyle, congrats. If anyone gets killed by Wheaton teeth, I think we know who it was. Yeah. And Mac's got weird teeth on the bottom row, so you'd know as in. That was the weekly time. Today's episode is brought to you by Canada Dip. Straight out of Humboldt County, California, they've created a tobacco and nicotine free dip alternative with CBD that tastes great and really works. They are giving you 50 percent off the California roll. That's the sample roll of their five core flavors for $25 instead of $50. That's five dollars a can. You can dip into life with America's finest, smokeless product on the market. Head to CanadaDipCBD.com and add the California roll with promo code DUM to get 50 percent off. Ripper. I hate snakes, man. Why rhymes with my name? Jake Snakes, we have a shirt in the store that says that. Dude, I like the Arizona Dimebacks. I like snakes, the animal. I'm wearing a fucking Serpiente shirt right now. You like the Yankees, but you don't like Yankees. Like Ripper doesn't like Yankees, even though he's from Maine. We're hate Yankees appear with all these damn Yankees. Ripper, you're from here. It's Maine. Not Louisiana. Ripper's also never left town. No, why would he scout everything he needs? Leads of docks. But you know what Ripper has? So many cool secret spots. Ripper's put a lot of backs on docks before, if you know what I mean. Elders.