 Important problems confronting the country today is that of gasoline rationing. We must all conserve as much gas as we possibly can. Yes, but boss, we never use more than... You see, Rochester, the gasoline shortage is not a product shortage. The problem is one of distribution and transportation. And it's up to us to get more miles out of every gallon of gas that we use. But boss, your Maxwell gets over 80 miles to the gallon now! My car is an exception. Now, Rochester, even in the states where gasoline isn't rationed, people must cut their consumption to the minimum. But, Mr. Bennett... They can do this by organizing their shopping to avoid unnecessary trips, driving under 40 and keeping their carburetors adjusted. That goes for us too, so adjust our carburetor, Rochester. We don't have to, boss. We're using it for a radiator cap. Well, put it backward, belong. And remember, Rochester, we should all do our bit because everybody, without exception, is a part of this war F. J-E-L-L-O! The J-E-L-L-O program presented by J-E-L-O and J-E-L-O Pudding, starring Jack Belly with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with salute to Gardner Field. It was more than 40 years ago, friends, that the first package of J-E-L-O was handed across a counter, carried home, and served to a delighted family. And in the years since that first family enjoyed J-E-L-O, this swell dessert has been many times improved. Now, today, it's been made even better than ever because by means of a new J-E-L-O process, J-E-L-O's grand goodness is locked in, protected for your added pleasure. Every package of J-E-L-O that you buy today gives you extra enjoyment thanks to this new J-E-L-O process. Every radiant, shimmering mold of J-E-L-O that you serve your family these days is more delightful because J-E-L-O now brings you a new high in flavor. Gives you J-E-L-O at its riches, at its very best. Let your next package of J-E-L-O prove to you that J-E-L-O's flavor really is locked in. Open the package. Notice that there's no telltale aroma, no sign of escaping flavor. Then dissolve the J-E-L-O and out will come J-E-L-O's captive flavor in a rush of richness. Get J-E-L-O tomorrow. Its flavor is locked in so it's extra good. For the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, on his final appearance for J-E-L-O, we bring you that delicious comedian with the locked in bank roll, Jack Benny. Thank you. J-E-L-O again. This is Jack Benny. J-E-L-O-ing again for the last time. Next season, it'll be Grape Nuts Flakes. And, Don, I guess you've got a right to be silly on our final broadcast. After 35 weeks, I'm a little slap-happy myself. You're right, Jack. People don't realize how strenuous radio can be. I tell you, I'm warned to a frazzle. Well, Don, you're the biggest frazzle I ever saw. Anyhow, we've got a very important sketch tonight, so let's get started. Is everybody here? I am. I don't know about Dennis. I'll go out and get him. You're here now. Say, where's Phil, our proud father? He's over in the corner practicing. Practicing what? Making three-cornered pants for the tanker chief. Oh, yes, yes. Hey, Phil, come over here. Okay, Jackson, be right with you. And take those safety pins out of your mouth. My goodness, you're certainly getting domestic all of a sudden. Now, fellas, the reason I wanted you here early tonight is because we're going to do a very important sketch. A cavalcade of eight years with Jello. Gee whiz, Mr. Benny, have you really been eight years with one product? That's right. Remember when you first started out? You had eight products in one year. They hated me then. No kidding, Jackson. Did you have eight different jobs your first year in radio? Yep. I went on the air for Bixby's Biscuit Batter, Belcher's Buggy Whips, the You Walk Up and We'll Come Down Clothing Company, Happy Hour Auto Courts Incorporated, Corrigan's Classy Corn Beef, the Easy Pull Zipper Company, and Moxley's Mucilage. Ah, those were the days. Moxley's Mucilage. I use that all the time on my hair. Mucilage? On your hair? Yeah, mine's not going to fall out like yours did by golly. Now, wait a minute. My fine hair didn't fall out. It was pulled out by a beautiful waitress in Lincoln, Nebraska. You want to know? Well, let's get going with our big production, fellas, so everybody pay attention. You too, Dennis. Okay, hold my grunion. Put that fish back in your pocket. And now, ladies and gentlemen, since this is our final appearance for good old Jell-O, we have prepared a cavalcade of eight happy years with America's favorite gelatin dessert. Here are the highlights which we hope you will remember. Take it, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, during our long and pleasant association with Jell-O, we've had many memorable situations. And one of the outstanding among them was the first time Jack Benny met Rochester. A few years ago, Jack and the whole gang were en route here by train from New York. And Rochester was a Pullman porter. A Pullman porter, if you remember, who didn't know where Albuquerque was. Gee, they were a long trip. Jack, look out the window. They sure dressed funny here in Hollywood. Those are Indians. This is New Mexico. Oh. Hey, Porter. Porter. Yes, sir? What time do we get to Albuquerque? What? Albuquerque. I don't know. Do we stop there? Well, certainly we stop there. My, my. Hmm. I better go up and tell the engineer about that. Yes, yes, do. What's the name of that town again? Albuquerque. Albuquerque. What are they going to think up next? Albuquerque is a town. You better check on that. I know what I'm talking about. Now, how long do we stop there? How long do we stop where? In Albuquerque. Many of you will remember the series of sketches we used to do called Buck Benny Rides Again. Mary was Daisy Carson. Phil was Frank Carson, her father. And Jack was that Rootin, Tootin, Shootin, Galootin, Sheriff Buck Benny. Well, here's the Carson house. Woo, partner, woo. Catch you while I'm gone. Thanks very much. I got a talking horse and Borderville has to be dead. I hope Daisy's home. Come in. Hello, Daisy. Hello, tall, dark and bull-eggared. Well, gal, you wouldn't exactly have any trouble straddling a barrel yourself. Say, Daisy, how's your pappy? Been drinking much lately? Only when a snake bites him. Well... And if they don't, he teases him. By the way, Daisy, where is the old boy? He was tapering the room here this morning and that's the last time I saw him. Gosh, this is new paper, ain't it? Wait a minute, what's that big lump there on the North wall? Here comes pappy. Hello, Frank. Hello, Buck. Is the blackout over? What blackout? You've papered yourself on the wall. Now, listen, Frank, I hear them rustlers stole some of your cows again last night. How many you figure they got? I don't know. Well, look out the window there and tell me how many head of cattle you got left. Can't tell you, Buck. They're facing the other way. Then let it go. Well, don't worry, Frank. I'll find them cattle before the sun goes down. Buck, bet he rides again. Gravel voice and the divine took a trip up to San Francisco to join us and the next day he told Jack all about it. Well, Andy, I didn't expect you up here in San Francisco. You told me you couldn't make it. Well, I didn't think I could, Buck, but Ma and Pa wanted to come so I thought I'd treat them to a little vacation. Oh, what did you do? Motor up? No, we took the night train. Ma slept in the lower berth and Pa and me shared the upper. Well, two of you had an upper berth. You must have had trouble getting undressed. Undressed? We couldn't even get our hats off. That must have been awful. Well, we wouldn't have minded that so much, but our dog wouldn't get off the pillow. Oh, your dog was in there, too. My goodness. Yes, she should pick a fine time to have pup. For heaven's sake. And, of course, the cavalcade of Jello would be incomplete without some mention of the Benny Allen feud. It all started when Fred Allen accused Jack Benny of being unable to play the B. On one of our most memorable programs, it occurred when Jack explained how he had once saved Fred's life years ago in Volterville. Allen had been rushed to the hospital and the doctor was telling Jack that his condition was critical. Mr. Benny, when Fred Allen was juggling that cannonball and it dropped on his foot, it severed the femur and part of the tibia. Well, heavens to Betsy. And there's only one thing that can save his life. He must have a blood transfusion immediately. A blood transfusion. Thank you, Butterball. Well, doctor, if my blood can save Allen's life, I am ready. Are you ready, Mr. Wood? Yes, doctor. Then hand me that ice-pick. Wait a minute. Don't I get an anesthetic for this? Yes. Oh, nurse, fan Mr. Benny with a herring. You do. I'll snap at it. Make it quick, doctor. All right. I'll just have this vein here and attach a hose to it. Go ahead, doctor. I'm not afraid. I'm in awful pain now, folks. See what I went through for that rat? There we are. All rightness to it. Open the valve and draw the blood. Yes, doctor. Oh, my goodness. In the last eight years, the Jello program has satirized many great motion pictures. And one of the most successful of these parodies was Lost Horizon, in which Jack played Ronald Coleman's part, that of a man who had found Shangri-La. Remember the scene where Jack met the Grand Lama? Come, my boy. It's growing late. And I promise to present you to the High Lama. He's 900 years old. 900 years old? Isn't he awful wrinkled? No. We have impressed once a week. Gazooks. Quiet. The High Lama approaches to greet us. Be prepared. 900 years old. She must be all dried up. Yes. Don't light any matches around here. Oh, boy, am I nervous. You will not harm you, my son. Here he is. Behold, the High Lama. Your Excellency, I beg to present Jack Benny. Your Excellency. Hyperman. Quiet. I'm a Lama now. Well, tell me, Schlepp, how are you doing in Shangri-La? Oh, Jacky, boy, am I making money? Everybody here lives to be at 300 years old. 400, 500, there's no limit. I tell you, Jack, I'm cleaning up. What do you do? I sell birthday candles. Birthday candles? You must be making a fortune. Say, is your wife here with you? Who else could make me 900 years old so quick? Oh, that's right. Well, kiddies, I got a title along now to the Shangri-La Airport. Oh, do you have an airport here? Yeah, this is where the bombers leave for Tokyo. Oh, yes, I heard about that. Three years ago, a young man named Dennis Day joined the program. Dennis didn't say much in those days. His mother handled most of the conversation. Perhaps you remember his first appearance. Well, how do you do, Mrs. Day? Come right in. Thank you. Come along, Dennis. Well, I'm glad you found the studio all right. Did you take a cab like I told you to? Yes, it was $1.65. Here's the slip. Oh. Oh, well, I don't mind. Then smile. How can a baritone have a tenor for a son? Oh, uh, Mrs. Day, I want you to meet the, uh, Mrs. Day. Yes. I want you to meet the members of my cast. How do you do? And this is her little boy, Dennis. Say hello to the people, Dennis. Hello to the people. Oh, fine. Now, Dennis. Yes, please. What song have you selected for your debut on the Jello program? I'm going to sing a- He's going to sing a delightful new number entitled When You Wish Upon a Star. Now, before you sing, Dennis, I thought our audience would like to know your age. How old are you? 59, including mother. Well, that's, uh, that's not, uh, what I meant, but let it go. Now, go ahead, Dennis, we're all anxious to hear you. Uh, this is the microphone. How do you do? Why? Why, you are nervous. Go ahead, kid. Now, remember, Dennis, breathe deeply. Yes, mother. Don't forget the words. No, mother. And come here. Let me fix your tie. Oh, don't, uh, don't bother, Mrs. Day. You know, this isn't television. You're quite fortunate, Mr. Benny. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Very good, Mrs. Day. Sing, Dennis. Oh, boy, I'd like to give her a hot foot. When you wish upon a star makes no difference to you. And now for the second chapter in our cavalcade of jello. Ladies and gentlemen, most of you remember the letters and telephone calls that Mary used to get from her mother. One of the most amusing of these calls occurred about four years ago when... I'll take it. Hello? Who? Plainfield, New Jersey? That must be for you, Mary. Oh, gee, I'll bet it's Mama. Yeah, tugboat Annie is on the wire. Oh, hello, Mama. Gee, this is a surprise. What? You've been listening to the program? She should be critical. What, Mama? She was thrown out of the floor a sex debt for having an anchor tattooed on her leg. Look, Mama, we're going to walk Keegan in a few days, so why don't you and Papa come and visit us? You can see the premiere of Jack's new picture. Oh, I don't know, I'll find out. Jack, are they going to... No, certainly not. No, Mama, no free dishes. Tell her to stay home, Mary. I'll be busy enough this week. Your mother is a character, if I ever... And here, ladies and gentlemen, is a routine which I'm sure all of you will remember. The quiz kids were on the show at the time, and right in the middle of it, Rochester called up with startling news. Here it is. What about my polar bear, Rochester? What's Carmichael done now? Well, he was supposed to be sleeping in the basement, and the gas man went downstairs to read the meter. Yes? Oh, my goodness. What happened to the gas man? I don't know, but I doubt if we're going to build this month. Now, that's silly. Carmichael wouldn't hurt a fly. He was just playing, that's all. Yeah, but where's the man? Stop being so pessimistic. Now, look, I forgot to feed Carmichael this morning, and he must be pretty hungry. So give him some roast beef out of the icebox. Uh-huh. But don't let him eat too fast. This is his first meal today. His second meal? Where's the man? About the gas man. Forget about him. We of the Jello Gang have made a lot of trips to New York, Palm Springs, Yosemite, and various naval and military posts. But some of our most hilarious moments have been spent right at Jack's home in Beverly Hills. And when we speak of Jack's home, we can't forget Jack's bewildering border, Mr. Billingsley. Oh, Jack, here comes your border. Oh, yes. I wonder why he's wearing that turban. Uh, hello, Mr. Billingsley. Good afternoon, Mr. Benny, digging in your garden, I see. Yes, yes, I thought I'd get started early this year. I do hope you plant pistachios. They're delightful. But, Mr. Billingsley, pistachios are nuts. Well, who isn't? Oh, I didn't look at it quite that way. Well, goodbye, Mr. Benny. I'm going out for a little stroll. Goodbye. Oh, by the way, Mr. Billingsley, you look just like a Hindu. Is that a turban wound around your head? No, that's a bed sheet. I slept like a top last night. Well, we've got to run along to the studio. See you later, Mr. Billingsley. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, thanks. I never touch it. I wish I could figure him out. Oh, well. And folks, one episode which many of you will remember and which I personally will never forget was the time I invited Jack over to my house to meet the little woman. But unfortunately, I forgot to telephone her ahead of time. And for weeks afterward, Jack kept saying to me, Call her up, your wife. Call her up, I said. If I said it once, I said it five times. Let's not barge in on the little woman. But no, you had to be a wise guy. Call her up. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as our sentimental journey approaches its conclusion, many of you may like to hear again a portion of one of our popular New Year's fantasies. Jack, you remember, always plays the old year in these annual playlists. And as we tune in now, it's almost midnight, December 31st, 1941. And the little New Year is waiting to make his entrance. There's the fourth stroke of midnight. Come in. Hello, young fella. Are you the little New Year? This ain't a sarong, I'm warren. Hee hee hee. That's good. You're gonna need a sense of humor, kid. Come on in, I want you to meet Uncle Sam and his wife, Columbia. Glad to know you, folks. Hello, Sonny. How ya, Bob? Make yourself to home. Well, son, I hope you've brought some good things with you. You like staying in this house. It's the finest home on the block. I'm glad to hear that. Well, you better be moving along, old timer. I've got work to do. Yep. Might as well be mowing along. But before I go, I want to give you a little advice. First, take good care of Uncle Sam here. Let him get mad when he wants to, but see that he don't fly off the handle. Them girls don't test you. See what I mean? Take care of his friends, Mexico and Brazil and all his good neighbors in the south, too. And don't forget that Dutch uncle he is. Leave it to me, old timer. And look, you may have to put out the lights here in the house once in a while, but see that that torch at the front gate is always burning. And say before I forget it, Uncle Sam's got a nephew named Franklin that's taking mighty good care of the old boy, Andy Sam. You're done, too. So keep an eye on him, son. Give him all the help you can. Franklin, huh? I'll write that down. As long as you're writing down names, here's another one for you. Put down Winston. Winston? Yep. Franklin and Winston. What are these two fellows' last names? Ain't necessary, son. Everybody knows them. Anyone else? Well, let's see. You can put down Chiang Kai-shek and Marshall Timoshenko. Nice fellows, believe me, they're just as tough as they are to pronounce. I know there's a lot more of them, but Sam will give you their names later. Well, got to be leaving. So long, Sam. So long, old timer. Here I go. So long, 41. So long, Columbia. Keepin' flyin'. That you'll want to add to your favorites the very first time you try them. The name of this treat is cherry fruit pudding, a tempting blend of juicy red cherries, golden grapefruit, and rich tart cherry jello, and what an easy dessert it is to make. Simply dissolve one package of jello imitation cherry flavor in one pint of hot grapefruit juice and water, and chill until slightly thickened. Next, fold in one half cup each of diced grapefruit sections and seeded fresh cherries half. Then mold and just see what a hearty welcome this swell dessert gets from the whole family. The tang of fresh juicy cherries and the sunny flavor of grapefruit combine beautifully with the delightful goodness of bright crimson cherry jello. So try it soon. Tomorrow order cherry jello and be sure you get genuine jello because jello's flavor is locked in for your added enjoyment. Well, folks, that was the last number of the last program that this gang is doing for jello. And we'll be back on the air the first Sunday in October at the same time on the same network but broadcasting for Grape Nuts Place. In the meantime, have Grape Nuts for Breakfast and jello for dessert. Now, before I go, I'd like to thank all of our listeners, my cast, my sponsors, and my writers, Bill Morrow and Ed Beloin for their splendid cooperation and support. Good night, folks. See you in October. The jello program is broadcast each week by Shortwave to our Armed Forces throughout the world. The same folks who make jello make jello puddings, rich, luscious puddings with a real old-fashioned homemade flavor. There's jello vanilla pudding, a wonderful dessert, smooth, creamy, and mellow, and simply brimming over with the flavor of real vanilla. This delicious pudding makes a grand creamy filling, too, for pies, tarts, and cakes. And it requires no additional sugar to make. When you order jello, ask for jello puddings. Jello puddings are just like grandmas, only more so. This program came to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.