 The joke is on the narcissist once you recognize this The narcissist does everything they can To convince you that you are the problem They do everything they can to convince other people That something is wrong with you and that you need to be dealt with There is some type of action that needs to be taken to solve a problem But there is something that they don't take into account Something that is completely obvious and when you recognize this The joke is on the narcissist Because while they're trying to make you look like the problem It backfires on them It has the opposite and undesirable effect what was intended It rebounds it comes back to them Because before they came into your life You were doing just fine. There was nothing wrong with you You didn't have any problems until they infected your life Until they broke you down and that's when you started to experience these adverse effects Because everything they do is decide to affect your success and development That's how they keep you under their control That's how they maintain their false image, but if you have been dealing with a narcissist You will notice that it has had an effect in your life It has affected your health and well-being You may have less energy now You may have less time to do the things that you like to do You may have less money and resources It puts your life in a downward spiral where you're no longer as successful as you used to be Because it takes a toll on you It has a bad effect on you. It causes you to struggle in life These are the signs that you were dealing with a narcissist Because when a normal person comes into your life They're going to build you up. They're going to make your life better They're going to add value to your life But the narcissist only takes value away The narcissist always leaves with more than they came in with While the victim always leaves with less than they once had The narcissist profits from the relationship While the victim leaves with a loss They leave with detriment Disadvantage and deprivation from failure While the narcissist leaves with all of these perks That they have received from being involved with you They leave with a spring in their step They leave with more confidence They leave with your money and possessions They leave with all of this stuff And when they leave They're still expecting something more from you Because they're very entitled They feel entitled to privileges and special treatment They believe that you owe them a living They believe that they deserve to be paid Without working hard for it They expect you to do all of the work Which is why you will find yourself sticking deeper and deeper into emotional Debt They will leave you in a state of confusion Where you don't know what just happened While they leave with confidence and self assurance Because they managed to trick you into following their narrative A narrative that was against you Even while you were doing everything for them So naturally you're going to be confused But when you recognise this The joke is on the narcissist Because if you are such a problem If you are so useless and ineffective Why did you leave with a loss? And why did they leave with more than they came in with? Of course the narcissist answer to this question Is that it's a result of your poor judgement It's due to a fault or mistake that you have made They will blame you But you never had this problem before You were fine before you met them Your life wasn't perfect But you were doing okay But now you have all of these things that you're dealing with Which they're holding you accountable for But when you really dissect it and look at it for what it is It doesn't make any sense Because if they were really the ones who are hard done by They would be the ones leaving with a loss It wouldn't have had such a detrimental effect on you But this is what narcissistic abuse is characterised by Failure, loss and disappointment That's how you know that you've been exploited Because you've lost something in the process Something has been taken away from you And the narcissist has gained something from being with you But when all is said and done The narcissist doesn't feel any need to return the favour They don't feel any need to do something similar in return to you Because they're never satisfied They have these insatiable desires that can never be fulfilled And they're very arrogant and entitled They believe they've done more for you than what they've actually done Which is why they will often tell people that they try to help you Because they don't want to look bad They have to make it look like they've provided something of value to you So that it justifies what they're doing But the reality is that you have taken a loss You have experienced failure and disappointment And that is something that they can't hide Because that's something you have to experience For them to gain control of you If that wasn't going to happen There would be no purpose in them being with you They had to gain something But this is how you know what you were dealing with Because in a normal relationship People don't take such a big loss And they also don't leave with so much more than they can win with That isn't normal Because a relationship should be 50-50 It should be give and take But when you're doing all of the work When you're giving everything you have And you're receiving nothing in return Of course you're going to take a loss Because you're dealing with someone who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy You're dealing with someone who is arrogant and entitled Someone who doesn't believe they should have to give anything to you in return Which is the basis of narcissism This is the whole idea This is the justification and reasoning behind it Because if there was reciprocation There would be no problem The reason why the relationship failed Is because there's just one person doing all the work While the other person is sitting back And eating the fruits of their labour They're enjoying the profits and gains as a result of your hard work But they didn't do anything to earn it They made your life worse They affected your health They damaged you financially And when you really recognise this The joke is on the narcissist Because these are the signs you need to be looking for That's how you know that you have been exploited And when the relationship is over And the narcissist is still expecting something from you It's just proven this point even more It's confirming this concept Because a normal person would recognise everything you've done for them They would see it And they would have a cut-off point They would know when to let off the gas But narcissists don't have that They don't have this filter Because nothing you do for them is ever enough Narcissism is characterised by unfulfillment So when all is said and done They're not going to recognise everything you've done for them They're not going to want to hear about it All they're going to be concerned with Is what you're going to do next Because they're only concerned with their feelings In their minds their feelings are facts And if they feel dissatisfied in their minds you must be the cause of that You're responsible for it It's something that you have to attend to Because they never learnt how to deal with these feelings on their own They always had enablers to encourage their self-destructive behaviour They always had people to make it easier For them to do things that they shouldn't do So in their minds there's no reason for them to stop Because no one's telling them they're wrong No one's opposing their false narrative Because instead of acknowledging and appreciating everything you've done They've made it out to be a problem As though it's had an adverse effect on their life When in reality they have been profiting from it It's put them in a better position But as long as they play the victim It acts as a means for them to keep getting what they want That's why they do it Because even though you may have figured them out They don't want it to stop Because deep down they do recognise the value of what you're giving to them They just didn't want to acknowledge it to you Because then that would mean that you'd have to stop And then they'd have to repay you for your efforts Which isn't going to be of any benefit to them Because they're the weak ones They don't have anything to bring to you But this is how you know what you were dealing with Those are the signs that you were dealing with a narcissist And no matter how convincing they may be When you recognise this The joke is on them Their false claims and accusations become a source of amusement Because it doesn't make any sense When you look back And estimate the worth of what you did for them And then you look at what they did for you It doesn't add up It doesn't make any sense But this is what they don't want you to see They want you to forget about that And focus on the present That's how they keep you on their never-ending hamster wheel Trying to please them When you're involved with a narcissist They will always leave you feeling like you haven't done enough You need to do more Or there's something wrong with what you did This is how the game is played And the game never ends They just find new participants They find new enablers They find new sources of supply But one thing they never do is take accountability They never look at their own actions They never look at what they're doing Or what they could have done better Because otherwise their disorder wouldn't be able to function They need to have a heightened sense of self-importance And entitlement to special treatment They are driven by motives for grandiosity, esteem, entitlement and power And to get that they need to dominate you They need to tell you what to do They need to hold you to their expectations But they will never let you hold them to your expectations You're not meant to expect anything from them Because in their minds they're the authority They're superior to you So you're meant to give everything you have And expect nothing in return While they play the victim While they act like everything you're doing is not enough Or something is wrong with it Because that is how they keep the wheels turning That is how they cause you to spend an unnecessary amount of effort To do something that has been done already But there will be no acknowledgement of your efforts There will be no gratitude or appreciation Because they feel entitled to it They see you as an object that exists to serve them And they already know that they don't deserve it So they can't acknowledge something they know they don't deserve They have to downplay it They have to make it appear less important than it really is But if you take it away That's when you will see just how important it is to them But they never gave you recognition They never acknowledged the existence of it Until it ceased to exist Because that's how they kept the wheels turning By making you seek their approval and validation Because underneath it all You just wanted to do the right thing You wanted to make them happy You wanted to make things right But the narcissist was just using you They were never on your side And that is why When all is said and done It's so easy for them to turn against you Because they were never with you anyway They were just there for what they could gain from you Which is why when it's all over They're still expecting some form of compensation Because that's the only reason why they were with you Narcissists know how to hide their true intentions and motives But once you stop giving them whatever it is they want from you That's when you will see who they really are Because they will either go to extremes to get it from you Or they will try to get it from somewhere else But when this happens It should only reveal to you that it was what they wanted all along It was their only reason for being with you They never valued you as a person They never had your best interest in mind They were just using you for their own selfish needs Which is why when the relationship is over You begin to see just how selfish they really are All they care about is what they want And they don't care about how it affects you Because you were never a concern to them They just pretended like you were So that they could get what they want from you They understand human nature They know you don't want to be around someone Who is just using you for what you have So they pretend that they want a relationship They act like they value all of these indispensable qualities that you have But when the relationship ends that's not what they miss Which is how it's so easy for them to move on to another situation Or to make demands that have expectations for what they want from you Whatever you lost Is what the narcissist wanted you to lose Whatever they gained from you Is what they wanted to gain from you Whatever they're receiving from someone else Is what you eventually refuse to provide to them They may try to gas like you But the signs are there The joke is on the narcissist once you recognise this Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like Comment Share If you would like to donate My PayPal link Is in the video description Coaching Choirs You can email me at CoachingAtNarcSurvivor.uk Thank you for watching And I'll talk to you soon