 The Jack Benny program Quality of product is essential to continuing success LSMFT LSMFT LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco today tomorrow and always lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw it takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and lucky strike means fine tobacco yes independent tobacco expert present at the auctions can see the makers of lucky strike consistently selected by the finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco and this fine lucky strike tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you so smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike Rochester Larry Stevens and your truly Don Wilson press agent forced Jack into having a contest you listeners were asked to write in letters completing this simple sentence I can't stand Jack Benny because and is it catching on oh yes there's excitement in the old town tonight everybody's celebrating in fact right now there's a parade coming down Sunset Boulevard fact the banana curled up looks like a donut with yellow jaundice why don't you send her some real proof the wax stuff don't fool anybody it doesn't a the apples got two worms in it they don't know the difference good thing I didn't leave them in Yosemite letters are so deep it's a good thing I got my snowshoes so many people can't stand me as I what are you griping about you got over 200 letter carriers helping you I know but it wasn't easy getting them in the country with a 12 stars on my shoulder what does that mean I'm a postmaster general she's coming in on my walkie talkie circling badly hell's please give instructions over control tower to flight commander you're approaching the target drop down to 500 feet open the bomb bay wait a minute what is there thank you general all Steve Bradley's ball and people write letters now why they kind of tight stop with that poetry we're not in the Yukon I can't stand Jack Benny because he charges two dollars an hour to play his violin and stuff. Oh Larry I didn't see you with all these letters around here when you come in yesterday reading those letters. I'd like to Mr. Benny but I've got laryngitis everybody's got a cold you and Mary what a show we're going to have just my luck Fred Allen be as fit as a fiddle today kid it wouldn't make any difference Mr. Benny I was going to sing I'm glad I waited for you but Mr. Harris band can't play it. Why can't you're a band play I'm glad I waited for you all rushes we gotta take these songs an order sorry what are you working on now she could have. Said a bee and the butcher says shall I wrap it up we need it here I'm busy with my contest mail what do you want the reason I called you Jack because I'm going on a local broadcast today and I want you to listen in oh sure sure we'll all listen I'm going to tell a few jokes and I'd like to try one out on you jokes go ahead go ahead Why are lucky-strikes cigarettes like Minneapolis? Say, that sounds like you got something there. Go ahead, Don. Why are lucky-strikes cigarettes like Minneapolis? Because they're so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. They're like Minneapolis because they're made of the finer, the lighter, the naturally milder tobacco. Today, but I still don't get it. Well, now I'll explain it to you so you can't miss it. Lucky-strikes are like Minneapolis because with men who know tobacco best, it's luckies two to one. But, Don, that doesn't make sense. Minneapolis doesn't fit in there. It doesn't? No. Oh, I guess you're right, Jack. I'll make it St. Paul. I think you really got something. Well, I better grab. It's 6.15. OK, I'll listen. Goodbye. Oh, my goodness, I forgot to ask him what station. Oh, well, we'll find it. Hey, Phil, the house looks a little better with all of those letters cleaned up. You know, as soon as we get through, I've got to go out and do some more Christmas shopping. Hey, Jackson, I got a swell present for you this year. You have, Phil? Yeah. How much did it? I mean, what is it? What did you get me? A case of gin? A case of gin? Well, it'll come in handy when you throw a party. What am I going to throw a party? The minute I bring it over, Bob. Phil, we'll have a party on New Year's Eve. Mr. Benny, what are you going to give me for Christmas? Well, what are you going to give me, Rochester? You tell me what you're going to give me. No, no. Or should you tell me what you're going to give me? No, you tell me. No, you tell me. No, you? No, you tell me. What are you laughing at? We do this every year, and all we get out of it is a store. Now, before I do my shopping, I better go over my list again. Let's see, for Christmas, I'll get some cough drops for Larry Stevens, some new wax fruit for Mary, and something for Don Wilson. I hear they're stretching two ways again. Now, let's see. What else? Plastic snaps in them. For Christmas. Daddy didn't get even with you. You just forgot. Yeah, it's wonderful. And, baby, you know where Sandy Klaus comes from? Hey, Jackson, you should have heard what my kid just said. Let's do it. You know, honey, I never saw this. OK, goodbye, darling. Goodbye. A sweet kid. He sure is, Jackson. You know it's wonderful being a father, especially when your kid is just starting a school. You know, I come home at night, sit her on my lap, and watch her do her homework. Yeah. You can realize what you can learn that way. Stick to it, Phil. You know, it isn't going to hurt, Sandy. You said it. I've learned plenty. Hey, Jackson, do you know what a period is? A period is what you put at the end of a sentence. And it's also a doddle. Let's get the rest of these letters out of the way. I say, Phil, take all these letters that you've been open here and put them in the corner. And I wish you'd try. Oh, boss. What is it, Rochester? Here's a letter from Brett Allen. Brett Allen? He can't be in the contest. He's a judge. Just the same. He sent this letter. He's smart because he can say such big words with his nose. I don't like him because he's a great comedian. That has nothing to do with it. And listen, Phil, all week long, you've been sarcastic just because I was the only one invited to Ronald Coleman's house last Sunday for dinner. I still don't believe he sent you an invitation. Well, you can go and look at it again. It's framed over the fireplace. Not only that, I'm having the Coleman's over to my house next Sunday. You are? Yeah. I think I ought to invite their friend from England, Mr. Wellington. He was a guest at their house, too. Jackson, you promised Don Wilson you'd listen to his program. It's getting late. Oh, yeah. What time is it? I don't know. The little hand is straight down, and the big hand is bent over. That's 6.15. Phil, why don't you learn how to tell time? I tried to, but it always keeps changing. Rochester, turn on the radio. We want to hear Don Wilson. What station is it? He forgot to tell me. Try to get it anyway. OK. Sympathy soothing syrup. That stuff never helped anybody. I wish Wilson had told me what station he's on. Station, Jackson? Well, I want to hear this anyway. Luella might have something nice to say about me. That's what she knows. They hate me there, too. Call up Luella and tell her... Hey, Jackson, what have your letters in before then? Jack Benny because in 50 words or less, and mail your letter to the Jack Benny contest Hollywood 28, California. The first prize will be a $2,500 in victory bonds. The second prize, $1,500 in victory bonds. The third prize, a $1,000 victory bond. And there will be 50 additional prizes of $100 victory bonds each. Remember, all you have to do is complete this sentence, I can't stand Jack Benny because. In 50 words or less, and mail it to the Jack Benny contest Hollywood 28, California. That's the Jack Benny contest Hollywood 28, California. Our board of judges will include Goodman Ace of the Easy Aces and Peter Lorre. He frightens me. And the Supreme and Final Judge will be the Honorable Fred Allen. He frightens Peter Lorre. Including the rights to public. This contest is open to everyone except the employees of the American Tobacco Company, its agents, and the National Broadcasting Company. It is also subject to all federal and state laws and regulations. In case of a tie, duplicate prizes will be awarded. Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas shopping this season is just as difficult as it was last year and the year before. However, there's an answer to the question. What do I give for Christmas? Why not give victory bonds and stamps? They are tangible evidence of our gratitude. Yes, responsibility to those who have made possible our nation's first peacetime Christmas. Give the present with a future. Victory bonds and stamps for Christmas. Independent tobacco experts spend their lives buying, selling and handling tobacco. Mr. Joseph Edgar Joyce, independent tobacco buyer of Pinnacle North Carolina said, As a tobacco man, I know a good leaf of tobacco when I see it. Over a period of many years, I have seen that Lucky Strike buys the finer, lighter tobacco. When Lucky Strike buys a basket of tobacco, it's got to be good all the way down. I've smoked Lucky's for 18 years. Quote, when Lucky Strike buys a basket of tobacco, it's got to be good all the way down. Unquote. Yes, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. The famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's program are Mr. F.E. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky. That's 4-a-nine, a little more than nine, all meriton. And Mr. L.A., Speed Rakes of Goldsbury, North Carolina. 4-a-nide, de-de-de, de-de. This old American. That's Amorized Dale speaking for Lucky Strike. LSMFT, LSMFT, LSMFT. So for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco Lucky Strike. Still round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Well, thank heaven that cleans up all these letters until the mailman get here tomorrow. Say, Phil. Yeah, Jackson? I'd like you and all again to come over to dinner next Sunday night. You know, I'm having the Ronald Colman. Oh, gee, thanks, Jackson. I'll be there. And remember, Phil, when we're having dinner, watch your peas and queues. You know what I mean? Oh, sure. When you give it the queue, I'll pass the peas. What a shame you haven't got Laurence either, too. You're so cute. You said I'll bet Mary's glad she didn't have to hear that joke. Good night, doll. This is the National Broadcasting Company.