 Why narcissists devalue you. The narcissist will always find something wrong with you. They will always want you to do things for them, but then they will always find something wrong with what you're doing. A normal person would be grateful for what you're doing for them, but the narcissist will always find something wrong with it. You're bending over backwards to please this unpleasable person, and you try to justify to them that you're better than the other people they're comparing you to. But you feel like no matter what you do, it's never good enough for them. However, sometimes the narcissist appears to be happy. They appear to be satisfied with what you're doing for them, which is why you may choose to remain around them. Because sometimes they attend to your comfort and wishes. Sometimes they're polite and courteous. Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they seem to care about you. But it's only because in that moment they've got supply. In that moment they feel important because they're getting what they want. They're giving you this fake unconditional love. They're only giving you something because they're getting something from you, and they know that if they're nice to you they're going to keep getting what they want. It's not because they care about you. It's not because they love you. But you mainly see this character in the early stages of the relationship. As the relationship progresses, you don't see this as much. Because they become more comfortable with you. They know how to manage your reactions to what they're doing to you. But they treat you this way because they're toxic. By default, all they can do is add negativity and upset your life. Because they're dealing with their own stresses and traumas. They're hurt. So they hurt you. They're dealing with unhealed traumas. They're dealing with abandonment anxiety. So they have to protect their ego. They have to defend their feelings of self-importance. Because deep down they know they're not good enough for you. They know that you deserve better. They're unhappy because they lack self-love. Which is why they can never be happy with you. Instead of dealing with their traumas, it comes out as arrogant. As though they think they're better than you. And you could never be good enough for them. When really, that's exactly how they feel about themselves. They just flip it around on you. Because they don't want to deal with their own traumas. So they tell themselves they're better than everyone. They tell themselves everyone thinks they're attractive. They tell themselves everyone is jealous of them. They're always looking outside of themselves for reassurance. Because they're constantly experiencing anxiety and distress. Resulting from their unhealed traumas. But when they do that, they're just digging themselves a hole. They're just validating their false self. Instead of getting to the root cause of the issue. Because instead of seeking reassurance from other people, they need to validate themselves. But because they don't do that, they're in a constant state of anxiety. Where they constantly need attention, affection and reassurance to make themselves feel whole and complete. Which is why they always need other people. Which is why they're always flirting with other people or on dating apps. Which is why they compare you to other people. Because they feel like they're not good enough. But instead of confronting these feelings about themselves, they project them onto you. They make everything your fault. Rather than taking responsibility for their own faults and mistakes. Rather than accepting that something is wrong with them. Which is why they never heal. Which is why their toxic behaviors never change. Which is why they always lie to you and manipulate you. Because they lack empathy. They're only focused on their own needs. They're only focused on feeding their ego. Which is why they abuse you and treat you with disrespect. Because they only care about what they want from you. Which damages you and causes you to act like someone who is damaged. You may engage in reactive abuse. And you may feel like you are to blame. Because they're saying you are. But to take your power back. You need to accept that they're never going to accept that they're at fault. You need to accept that they're never going to be happy with anything you do for them. You're not responsible for their happiness. They're supposed to make themselves happy. By doing the inner work. And we need to heal ourselves. So that we no longer depend on their validation. Because that's how they control you. By making you think you're not good enough. So that you try harder to please them. It keeps you looking at yourself. So you don't look at them. And realize they're not doing anything for you. They're not making your life better. They're making it worse. But they don't want you to come to that conclusion. So they devalue you so that you think you need to do more. But they can never let you feel like you've done enough. Because then that means you would have to stop. And then they would have to reciprocate what you're giving to them. Which is something they never want to happen. Which is why they have to keep you thinking. That you're doing something wrong. They have to keep you in a state where you are constantly trying to fix something. So that you never stop to realize you're with someone who isn't adding anything positive to your life. They're just taking value away from you. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching.nax.fi.ru. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.